Chapters I screwed up.
As soon as the words left my mouth, I knew that I had managed to screw every chance of her wanting to see me again after today. Why did I have to say that? Why did it have to happen? Especially today. I watch as her head slowly turns downward, away from me. Her stetson covers her eyes, which I already know are brimming with tears.
"Get out..."
I don't even object, simply nodding my head and looking down with my eyes. "I... I'm sorry, AJ... I didn't..."
"I said, get out!" she looks at me, angry tears in her eyes and starting to go down her face. But I can see the pain in her eyes. Why she has no reason in the world to want to see me again. So I nod slightly and turn on my hooves, my ears flattening as I exit the farmhouse.
As soon as I'm outside, I can feel my own tears starting in my eyes. "You stupid, stupid mare, Rainbow Dash..." I scold myself. "I'm sorry, AJ."
I take off into the air and fly away slowly and sadly, the huge, midnight blue sky around me as the moon sits high in the sky. I can see Twilight's huge, purple castle in the center of town. Shaped like a big, crystal tree, but I don't want to go there. I don't want to go anywhere but back in time so I could stop myself from saying what I did. But it's too late. The damage is done. I'm lucky if she even lets me buy cider from her again. I doubt that possibility. She kicked me out. Plain and simple. I'm going to let her calm down for a few days before I try to talk to her, but even I'm not stupid enough to think she'll let me in. Hope, sure. But I know it's a very slim, if even feasible, possibility.
I flap my wings a little bit, gaining a bit of speed so I can reach my floating house faster. I didn't mean what I had said, not in the slightest. But I knew that even mentioning them was gonna be hard for her, let alone saying they'd be disgusted with her. Hell, if my father knew about this he'd beat me to a pulp and then let Big Mac have at me for hurting Applejack like that.
"You're an idiot, Rainbow," I say to myself. "How could you do that? You're the Element of Loyalty for Celestia's sake."
I land on my balcony and open the door, closing it behind me and flopping onto my bed. I need to sleep, but don't feel like I'm going to get a lot. Not after this colossal fuck-up. I send a silent prayer to Celestia that Applejack might forgive me, and close my eyes. I don't know how, but I manage to pass out at some point in the night.
When I wake up, the sun's taken the moon's place in the sky, and the light blue surrounding it had a few blotches of white here and there. I look at the clock beside my bed, and groan a little. 11:34. Ugh. I pull myself out of bed, slowly scanning the room and wondering if Tank is hungry. I go to the kitchen and pour him a bowl of food, not bothering to get myself anything before I leave the house and fly into town.
I fly around, not going in any particular direction, simply wanting to clear my head. All I can think about is Applejack and hoping she's okay. I know I screwed up. How could I not? How could I possibly think I didn't fuck up our friendship? I'm so pathetic.
I sigh and glide towards Sugar Cube Corner. Maybe Pinkie Pie can take my mind off things. She's never failed to before, and I need the distraction. I watch the ground as I normally do, taking in the scenery of Ponyville as it's layed out below me. I smile a little as I see Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo doing whatever it is they do to try and get their cutie marks. I see Rarity and Fluttershy walking to the spa, Twilight is nowhere to be found. Most likely inside her castle's humongous library. And then I see Applejack and Big Mac walking together through town, and my heart sinks. I want to dive into the side of a mountain. I can't see her hurt like this. It's too painful to know what I've done. What hurts even more is the fact that no amount of apologizing will save me from her wrath. To know that all those years will have vanished into thin air like a rainbow fades away after a storm. My heart bleeds for her. She's not the only one who's lost a parent.
My father couldn't take it when mom died. He turned to alcohol and beating me for no good reason to get rid of his anger. But I knew, deep down, he still loved and cared about me. He was just being irrational, and I can't hate him for that. I'm sure that's how Applejack feels right now; angry, sad, alone, mostly directed at me. I want her to hit me for what I said. I know it sounds stupid, and man, can she hit, but I want her to take her anger out on me. Make me suffer like she must be suffering. She's my best friend, and I'm not gonna let her suffer alone.
Of course, I simply fly down to the small sweet shop and go inside, the scent of sugar and cake mix almost intoxicating. I sit down at my usual booth, keeping my eyes hidden behind my bangs in case Applejack decides to come in as well. I don't want her to see me. Not now, not when she's still probably ready to kill me. Even if I'm willing to let her do just that if it'll make her feel better. I wait a few moments before the familiar cotton-candy scent of Pinkie Pie engulfs me in a tight hug, squeezing me like a teddy bear.
"Hey, Dashie!" she almost screams into my ear.
"Hey, Pinkie Pie," I respond.
"Why the long face?" She asks as she releases me. I know I can trust her, but this is too serious for her sense of humour to understand.
"Nothing," I say instead, keeping my eyes hidden.
She hugs me again, more gently this time, and holds me like I was crying. "It's okay, Rainbow Dash," she says. "You can tell me."
"I know, Pinks. But I'm fine, really. It's not me that needs the comfort," I say.
"I already know about what happened," she says quietly.
"How?"
"Because I know everything, silly," she boops me on the nose, and I smile a tiny bit. "I'll give you a dozen, on the house. Okay?"
"Thanks, Pinkie Pie," I smile at her as she bounces off into the kitchen. I don't exactly need twelve cupcakes to myself, but hey. Free food. It makes me feel a tiny bit better, but I know damn well that there's nothing that'll get me to live this down. Even if Applejack decides to forgive me, which I highly doubt, I'm still never gonna forgive myself.
Author's Note
Oh god I'm actually entering a contest. This is exciting :3
I sigh as the sun sets in the sky before me. It's been a week since I've seen Applejack last, or at least since I talked to her. I saw her occasionally on the farm when I'd fly by, ready to pour my heart out in the biggest apology I'd ever utter. And, knowing that I'm not one to apologize for much, I feel like she'd know it was genuine. But, being myself, I didn't bother. Instead I'd just fly away, maybe she caught glimpses of me, maybe not. I don't really know. It doesn't matter. If she did see me, she'd never let me know. I know damn well that she never wants to see me again.
I sigh again as the farm stands on the horizon before me. I want to fly to the farmhouse and do as I had tried to do over the past week, but my heart isn't in it. I can't, but I have to. Even if she doesn't listen, I need to at least tell her how sorry I am. So long as she knows, I can maybe sleep at night again.
I turn away and fly back home. I can't do it. Not now. It doesn't feel right nor do I think she's calmed down enough to actually speak to me. I go to my room and throw myself onto the bed. One more day. I'll wait one more day, then she's hearing me whether she wants to or not.
Two Days Later
I stand at the white, wooden arch that acts as the entrance to the farm. The fence spreading out to either side of me as the dirt path that leads to the farmhouse sits right in front of me. The slight breeze blows my multicoloured bangs to one side, and I slowly start walking down the path that I know will lead me to my best friend. The mare who I've hurt in a way no one deserves to feel. Well, except for myself. Considering what I've done, I feel like I deserve every punishment that's coming my way by stepping inside these boundaries. I make my way to the farmhouse, not seeing any sign of Applejack or her brother, and marvel at the beauty the orchard holds. The vast expanse of trees going on for miles and miles, the beautiful red apples hanging from their branches, perfectly ready to harvest.
"What're ya doin' here, Rainbow Dash?" the thick, very masculine voice brings me out of my admiration of the orchard and into the present as Big Macintosh staring down at me, less than a foot away and clear anger in his eyes.
"U-uh... hey, Big Mac," I stammer out, "is Applejack home?"
"Why should I let ya see 'er?" he clearly wasn't happy to see me, and I can't blame him.
"So I can apologize," I say. There's no use in lying. Clearly he wasn't expecting that answer, as his face softens a little.
"You? Apologizin'?" he shakes his head a little. "Never thought I'd see the day."
"Will you please tell Applejack?" I ask. "I know how much I've hurt her and I can't stand knowing what I did..." I sigh a little. "If anyone's parents would be disgusted with them, it'd be mine."
"I can tell," he says. "Wait here, I'll tell AJ ya wanna see 'er."
"Thanks, Mac," I smile a little at him, and prepare for the yelling that I know is going to ensue should Applejack come down to hear my deeply heartfelt apology. I don't even think she'll show, but one can always hope...
Mac comes back, and nods at me to come inside the house. I slowly enter, and the glares Granny Smith and Apple Bloom give me are enough to make me want to turn back and run away, never to return. But I stay. I need to make things right, regardless of what others may think of me. I slowly make my way up the stairs that lead to Applejack's room, and look at the wooden door before me. The whole place smells like a home. Moreso than my house, anyway. I draw in a deep breath, but before I can say anything, the door slowly opens to reveal my orange earthpony friend. The bags under her eyes along with the obvious tear stains on her cheeks break my heart, and I want nothing more than to hug her and apologize a hundred times.
"A-AJ...?" I say quietly, not wanting to set her off.
She responds with the impact of her hoof to my cheek, but I don't bother retaliating. I know I deserve it. I've been wanting her to hit me for the last nine days. This is welcome so long as it makes her feel better. I slowly look back at her, and her eyes are full of anger, sadness, and I think joy. Can't tell. "Alright, I deserved that," I say, "and any more you want to give me..." Her silence and lack of movement says that she was finished, even if it wasn't a whole lot to begin with. "Applejack, I just wanted to say I'm sorry... for everything. I didn't mean what I said, and you know it. Deep down, you know I wouldn't say anything like that and mean it." I take a breath to prepare for my next words, but also to give her time to respond.
She doesn't say anything, simply looking down and nodding. "I know it's a long shot," I start, "but... I'm still gonna ask for a second chance. I fucked up, I know that. I'll do anything to make things right," she doesn't move or speak. "Please..."
She stays silent for several minutes, and the longer it goes on, the more afraid I am that she'll refuse, which she has every right to do. But I can't lose her without first trying to fix what I broke, that being her heart. After what seems like an hour, but was only a few minutes, she looks me right in the eyes with a dead serious expression on her face. Almost a scowl, but with more understanding, and says slowly, "Alright, Dash. I'll give ya one shot. But that's it." I think I see a small smile forming on her face, and my own forms without hesitation as I almost drop to my knees.
"Thank you, AJ," I say, trying not to get too excited as it feels like a huge weight is lifted from my chest. "I swear I won't screw up again."
"I know ya won't," she says, "'cause then I'd have ta beat ya."
"You know I'd let you," I say dully, and she nods a little.
"Yea', I suppose I do," she responds, finally smiling at me like she used to; as if I were her best friend.
Author's Note
Ohhhhhh dear I'm way behind schedule. I need to get a move on >~<
Hope you enjoyed!
III: One Sad and Stormy Night
Well, this was unexpected.
The storm hit out of nowhere, and I guess it's my own fault seeing as I spent more time moping and doing everything last minute than actually patrolling regularly when I was working. We were all trapped in the farmhouse, seeing as I was spending my time there to mend as much as I could between Applejack and I. I should have been paying attention to whether or not we had a storm planned, and knowing that Mac, Granny and Apple Bloom had left us alone in the house only made things worse.
"I can't believe they're out there in that," Applejack says, clearly worried. "Didn't they know this was comin'?"
"I didn't even know it was coming, AJ," I try to comfort her, but it clearly doesn't help from the look she gives me.
"You, of all ponies, shoulda known," she spits at me.
"I know," I say, hanging my head, "but I was too busy beating myself up over what I had said that I neglected to pay enough attention."
She sighs and sits down on the couch, crossing her front legs and laying her head on them. "I hope they're alright..."
"I know you do, so do I," I say sadly. "I'd go out there, but it's too dangerous even for me."
She gives a little nod, looking down. "Why today?" I hear her say under her breath.
The howling wind and constant patter of heavy rainfall tells me it's a very bad time to be outside, but most likely Big Macintosh would have gotten his grandmother and littlest sister to safety as soon as he saw the storm coming. Why wouldn't he?
"I'm sure they're safe, AJ," I say, "they have Mac with them, after all. He wouldn't let them get hurt."
"I know, Rainbow," she says, looking at me silently. After a minute, she says; "come here."
I slowly walk over and sit down next to the couch, looking at her questioningly. I'm not even close to prepared when she asks me why I said what I did. "U-uh..." I stammer, I don't know where this question came from, but I guess it makes sense given the circumstances. I hang my head and my ears flatten against my skull, my red, orange and yellow mane falling into my eyes as I speak. "I don't even know... I was mad, and it came out, and I instantly regretted it..." I slowly look up at her with my eyes, half-hidden by my mane as she mulls it over in her mind. At least that's what I think she's doing.
"Alright," she says. "I'm acceptin' yer apology, but that don't mean I forgive ya."
"I know."
"Good," she nods a little. "I'm sure I will eventually, but not now." I nod a little, then lay down on the floor.
I don't exactly care about where I'm sleeping, I can deal with the floor for now. All I know is that there's no way I'm making my way home with that chaos outside. So we're stuck together. It seems like a good time to make things right between us, and the alone time will definitely help, but I'm more worried about Mac and the others. I know they'll be fine, but still.
Applejack looks down at me with a slightly confused expression, and I look back up at her.
"What?" I ask.
"Why're you on the floor?" She asks.
"Because I don't mind it as much as you'd think. Plus it feels right... given recent events..."
"Uh huh?" she gives a littletter laugh. "I may be angry, but ya ain't sleepin' on the floor, Rainbow. Ya can bunk with me if ya want."
"Seriously?" I don't really believe that.
"Yeah, it'll be like the good old days," she smiles that same, genuine smile that I've always known, and I know she's telling the truth.
"Uh, thanks AJ," I say.
"O'course," she says, then gets up off of the couch and starts towards the stairs.
I hesitantly follow her, not knowing whether this is a trap or not (though she'd have no reason for one). My eyes slightly train on her tail as it goes side to side in front of me, mainly to distract my thoughts, but I also notice something. Her legs, and more prominently her flank, are ridiculously well muscled. It's, in all honesty, kinda hot. Wait, I'm thinking that my best friend is hot. Where did this come from?! I shake my head to lose the thought, and almost find myself tripping over the stairs as we start going up.
I have no idea where those thoughts came from, but they need to stop. This is no time for that. Hell, I don't think I'm even into girls. I mean, I've never really thought about that before. Not like I haven't been interested in having a sex life, but more that I just didn't have the time nor did I care enough. Whatever, these are thoughts for another time.
We enter her room, and I close the door behind us as she takes out her hair ties. First her mane, then the one in her tail, and I'll be dammed if I don't admit that she looks much better with her hair down. I know stallions talk about her sometimes, but God damn they're so right.
Hold on, why the hell am I thinking this?! These thoughts have no business clouding my mind right now. Especially when I'm still trying to mend our friendship!
I shake my head even more to shake off the extremely out of place thoughts, and watch as she climbs into bed. I slowly make my way over and lay down beside her, but make sure to keep my distance so that there's no invasion of personal space. With that, we say a final goodnight, and drift to sleep.
When morning comes, I'm nowhere near prepared for the sensation of Applejack's legs wrapped around my body. It's warm and comforting, but feels oddly intimate. But not in a bad way. I actually like it, it helps me feel like she's starting to forgive me, even a little bit. It makes me happy inside... And moreso than I think it should.
Author's Note
Things are surfacing. And they should if that tag is to be justified. Aaaand it's part of the contest anyway. So yeah. Hope you enjoyed!
The few days since I've gotten Applejack to give me another shot were filled with doing whatever she wanted to do. I helped with the farm, among other things. And let me tell you that the work she had in store for me was not meant for a Pegasus to carry out. Earth ponies have stronger frames and are naturally more muscular than unicorns and pegasi, and therefore can endure more strain and hard work. Being on the lowest end of leg strength (though I'm anything but weak, I'm too awesome for that) I had a bit of a difficult time with it. Not like I complained. If it took hard work to get her to forgive me, I'd endure it all.
Another thing that seemed to be happening while making amends was that we were getting closer. And I mean, we were saying things we never really said before. I guess that's what happens when you spend all your time with someone, especially an old friend. But I had no idea that she had a soft spot for flowers or that she thought Rarity and Fluttershy might make a good couple. And, after thinking about it for a while, I started to agree with that. Whether either of them is into girls is another matter, but they'd still be cute.
Then the day I had been secretly dreading over the two weeks of fixing friendships came. The day that meant the ultimate test for me to let her know how sorry I was... the anniversary of her parents' deaths. I never knew how they died, but I know they died together. It's kinda romantically tragic that they died at the same time. Like one couldn't go on without the other or something. They were buried side by side in the orchard, two simple wooden crosses marking their graves next to a large apple tree. I stand beside Applejack, with Mac, Apple Bloom and Granny Smith taking up the other side of her. All of them look saddened beyond regular grief. I don't understand much, but some people have different ways of dealing with grief than others, and I don't intend on judging. Not now, not ever.
We are silent for what feels like hours, no one moving an inch as all heads but mine are turned downward. I remain respectfully silent, not wanting to interrupt any thoughts that may be going through their minds. All that changes when I hear a slight sniffle to my right. I turn my head and see that Applejack, the toughest pony I know, is crying. I slowly unfurl my wing and wrap it around her, pulling her a little closer and gaining a questioning look from her. In response I simply use my other wing to wipe some of her tears away, and then she looks away and continues to quietly cry. But she doesn't leave the cover of my wing, which makes me feel a little bit better.
After a while, and the family leaving one by one, it's just me and Applejack left by the graves and tree. I don't know why, but I like being alone with her. I feel like I can be myself a little more when it's just us. I don't say anything, though. It's not the time or place. I tighten my wing around her, and she looks at me again, sounding and looking cried out. I use my feathers to gently brush away the final remnants of her tears, and hug her tightly. She returns the embrace, burying her face in the crook of my neck as I gently stroke her mane and back. It feels so weird, but so right... and I don't want it to end. I don't know why, but it feels nice to hold her close like this, even if the circumstances are less than happy.
We eventually separate, and she gives me a sad smile. "Thanks, RD," she says, a little shaky, and I nod.
"It's what friends are for," I reply, and she nods a little.
"I... I'm startin' to forgive ya," she says.
"Are you?" I ask, a little surprised.
She nods. "I know you didn't mean it, Rainbow. I did ever since ya said it," she says. "I just... needed time to get over it, and you bein' here helped with that."
I smile a little. "Well, I'm glad I could prove myself."
She nods a little, then leans forward and gives me a gentle nuzzle. Just her cheek brushing against mine, but it still makes my ears and cheeks burn. Why does that feel so good? And why do I want more?!
I return the gesture of... affection? Friendship? whatever it is, and she smiles at me.
"I could never stay mad at ya for too long, Dash," she says with that same smile, and I think her cheeks are turning a little red. "I always liked ya too much."
"Well, that's good," I say. "And how couldn't you? I'm awesome."
She chuckles a little, shaking her head slightly. "Ya sure are, Rainbow."
We leave the grave site together, but not before she shows me something. Engraved on the tree is a heart with two initials inside it, and she told me it was her parents who did it. I smile a little and nod as she tells me their story. From meeting in a rainstorm to continuing the family tradition on the farm. I listened the whole time, not wanting to miss a word she said. I felt I owed it to her to at least hear their story.
When she finished, we continued on to the farmhouse, and went inside. Currently we sit in her room, just talking about random subjects. It feels nice to be able to talk about something other than how sorry I am or how much I'll do to make it up to her. We've done plenty of that and now I think she just wants to be what we were; best friends. At least, that's what it feels like.
I occasionally catch her taking glimpses at me out of the corner of her eye, and I don't know what I see in her gaze, but it makes me feel both warm and fuzzy, and also uncomfortable at the same time. It feels... weird, but I like it. I guess she really does forgive me. Which makes my heart soar. I want nothing more than to fix everything one-hundred-percent. It feels like I might have already, but I still want to try. I don't know why, but I need to hear her say the exact words. It'll make me feel at ease in her presence again, and I won't feel like she's just pretending. We spend a good five hours just taking, the moon high in the sky as we converse. Then she stands up.
"How 'bout we take a walk through the orchards?"
"Whoa, at night? This late?" I stammer. "Are you sure?"
"What, scared?" she challenges me, a slight smirk on her face.
"Hell no," I say, standing up and puffing my chest.
"Alright then, first to the barn sleeps in tomorrow," she raises an eyebrow, knowing I can't turn down a challenge.
"You're on," I say, bolting through the door with her on my tail.
Author's Note
Slow burn, but it's speeding up. I'm honestly kind of excited for the next chapter because that's when things really start surfacing~
I watch as the moon slowly makes its way across the sky, laying in the slightly damp, cool grass with her right beside me. It's nice, being able to relax with her instead of dreading whether or not she's gonna snap at me and kick me out. I feel like that time has passed, and I'm no longer in danger of her anger. I smile a little, remembering the old days. Back when we'd do something similar to this, but in the middle of the day. Honestly, this feels oddly romantic, but I pay it no mind. I'm probably just enjoying it too much. I let out a happy sigh, and my eyes slowly turn to Applejack... and she's staring right at me.
I look at her eyes, and notice that she's looking me up and down repeatedly.
"Uh, hey AJ," I stammer out.
"Evenin', Rainbow," she replies.
"It's a nice night, isn't it?" I say, looking back at the sky.
"Sure is," she says, and I can hear her rustling beside me. I pay it no mind until I feel her leg wrap around my chest from beside me, and I feel her torso press against my right side. I turn to look at her, and see that she's curled up beside me, her head resting on my shoulder. I have no clue what to make of this, and I can feel my cheeks burning as a deep red blush takes over my face. I look at her, and she looks kinda cute all cuddled up to me like that. I don't want to move her, but it also doesn't feel right. I'm the one who ruined our friendship, so why is she acting like this? It's so confusing but it feels so good. Might as well just let it happen. Before long, my eyelids start feeling heavy, and I feel myself slowly falling asleep with her cuddled up next to me.
When I open my eyes, it's to the sound of barking in my ear. Slowly, my eyes flutter open, and I can feel Winona licking my left cheek repeatedly before backing away and barking some more. I sit up, finding that Applejack had disappeared to work in the orchard. I feel disappointed, but it doesn't bother me that much. Hell, she let me sleep in. I scratch Winona's head with a hoof, and the little dog runs off when I stand up. I flap my wings a little, and find that the sleep on the ground did nothing good for the muscles. They ache like hell, and I decide to leave them folded at my sides until I can ease the tension.
It doesn't help that Pegasus wings are ridiculously sensitive to touch, and when I say sensitive, I mean in the good way. I make my way to the farmhouse, and while on my way I notice Applejack alone in the orchard, bucking trees and causing apples to tumble down into the buckets below. I watch as she balances on her front legs, curving her strong, toned hind legs before slamming her hooves against the trunk of the tree. The resulting vibrations knocking the apples from their branches and letting gravity decide their fate. It feels... oddly good watching her work. Seeing the muscles in her flank and legs tensing up with each kick. I swear it's almost arousing.
Wait, what?
Is she seriously turning me on? I notice my wings are slightly spread, and there's no pain in the action. So holy shit, Applejack is turning me on. Why? I don't like her that way... do I? I know we've been getting closer, but am I really starting to get a crush on her? And a better question: is that why she's been giving me all kinds of looks lately? Does she actually like me as more than a friend? I mean, I know I'm awesome and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't sexy as hell, but enough to attract even the hard working, I'm at least ninety nine percent sure she's straight, Applejack? Seriously?
This feels like a little too much. I mean, love is... all cute and kissy and mushy, and I know for a fact that neither AJ or myself are ones for that kind of thing. But maybe it is true. The looks she's been giving me are enough to scream that she at least feels something the more that I think about it; and I guess that over the last two weeks, maybe she wanted to get even closer than we were before. We sure as hell did, anyway.
I don't know what's going on... I need to think, and I guess I have a lot of time to do it.
"Howdy, Dash."
I shake my head as I realize that she's standing right in front of me. I must have been really lost in thought for her to sneak up on me like that.
"Hey, AJ," I respond, making eye contact. She looks like she has something on her mind, and I have no doubt I looked the same way when she walked up to me.
"Can I talk to ya, private like?" she asks.
"I don't see anyone around," I respond. "So yeah, shoot."
"Alright," she says. "Dash... I've come to the conclusion that I forgive ya."
That catches me a little bit off guard, but I know she was gonna say it eventually anyway. "Really?"
She nods. "Yep, and there's... somethin' else I want to tell you," she seems a little nervous. Was I right?
"Go ahead, I'm listening," I say, and she looks me in the eyes in a way she has never looked at me before.
"Rainbow, I... oh shoot, how do I put it?"
Oh my goddess, I was right.
"Dash, well... I've kinda started to, well... like ya," she says it somewhat quickly, but I still catch every word. I was right.
I was fucking right.
I... I don't know how I feel about this.
"Uh..." I stammer, at a total loss for words.
"I understand if ya don't feel the same," she says, looking away from me, "I just wanted you to know."
It hurts me to see her like that, but I have no idea what to say. I mean, I don't even know if I like girls, let alone my best friend. Well, I guess the first part isn't true. I was clearly getting aroused by watching her work, so I guess I do like girls at least a little bit. But enough to start a relationship? I don't have a clue.
"AJ I..." I say. "I have no idea what to say... I swear I don't think any less of you, but I don't even know if I like girls..." I know I'm repeating my thoughts, but it's all I can think to say.
"I understand, Rainbow," she looks at me and gives me the saddest smile. "I just wanted to tell you."
I nod. "For you, I'll think about it," I say quietly. "Is it okay if I come back tomorrow?"
"Go ahead," she nods a little. "I'll be here."
Author's Note
God damn I almost missed the deadline. Next chapter is the finale!
I watch the ground come and go below me, not flying in any particular direction as I think over what I had promised Applejack I would. I feel like I can't just leave her there, especially when she's still emotionally raw from what I had done. Even if she does forgive me. I think about everything, how I had always tried to avoid the subject of guys whenever Rarity would bring it up, or how almost every guy who asked me out got denied. I don't even know why, I guess I just wasn't that interested. But now that Applejack is opening her heart to me, I feel oddly compelled to go with it. I mean, we are compatible enough. What with our competitive spirits and constant challenges between each other.
She also seems to be the one out of the rest of the girls who can put up with my shit for an extended period of time. I mean, I guess I do brag a lot... not like it isn't true. I am Rainbow Dash after all. But, I mean, I always knew that I'd never be as strong as Applejack, which is a natural fact, but even still. She'd always outdo me on land speed and general strength. Which I can live with, seeing as I'll always be the best flier in Equestria. I could never perform like she does at a rodeo, but that's her forte, not mine.
It feels weird being modest, but I can't help it. I mean, it's true, so why lie about it? I've already learned my lesson several times about biting off more than I can chew. Might as well start keeping it to what I actually can do, which is pretty damn near anything.
I notice myself drawing near the farm, but I don't stop myself. Why should I? She sure as hell has no objection to me being there anymore. I watch as the sun sets on the horizon, and think about how nice it would be to spend the sunset on a cloud with her. Just us, and the beautiful orange sky that manages to pale in comparison to her coat... I'm starting to love her. There's no denying it. I'm starting to fall in love with her. I don't know how I feel about this. I mean, how do I say it? The same way she did? She's already expecting me to come back and tell her my decision, and given what I've only now discovered, I know that I'm going to say that we should take a shot at it. And why not? We're compatible. She's definitely hot enough to catch my eyes when I wasn't sure about it, and now I'm admitting to myself that I do love her. So yeah, I'm gonna go and tell her.
But.
What if I'm just overthinking this? What if I don't and the only reason I think I do is because I want her to be happy? I mean, I don't even know if I'm really, really into mares at this point. For all I know I'm misreading my own thoughts. Wouldn't be much of a surprise. Whatever the case, I may as well try it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, as the saying goes.
I glide over the orchard, and eventually find myself directly over the farmhouse. I don't know if I should go to the front door, or surprise her by going to her window. I decide the door is a more reasonable approach, and land a few feet away from it. I make my way over, and gently knock three times. I wait for an answer, and after a short time, Big Mac answers again.
"Evenin', Rainbow Dash," he says, smiling a little. "AJ's upstairs in her room."
"Thanks, Mac," I say as he steps aside to let me pass.
I notice that Granny is nowhere in sight, most likely taking a nap in her room; and Apple Bloom, as far as I know, is having a sleepover with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. I make my way up the stairs, and pause when I approach Applejack's door. This is it, my last chance to decide what happens here tonight. Do I accept my feelings for her sake, or do I do it because I, too, want to be with her? No. There's no questioning it. I want her. I love her. So I'm going to tell her. I take a breath, and knock on her door. And when she opens it, I do the only thing I can think to do...
I kiss her.
Gently, purely, and flat on the lips. As soon as I feel her kissing back, I close my eyes, as she had already done the same. We hold the kiss until our lungs must be screaming for air, and she pulls away first. I know earth ponies have smaller lungs than pegasi. Such is nature since pegasi have the need to hold more air when flying at higher altitudes. As soon as her lips leave mine, she wraps her front legs around me in a tight hug, and I immediately return it, adding my wings to it so I can make as much contact as possible.
"I take that as a yes?" she asks me.
"You know it, AJ," I reply, kissing her forehead as she nuzzles into the crook of my neck.
We sit and hold each other for a while before moving into her room and laying down together, her body against mine as I hold her close. And I'll be damned if I say I'm not enjoying every second of it. I really do love her. There's no questioning it, and I have no reason to deny it. This is perfect, just me and her. I'm happy, and I can clearly tell that she is, too. So long as she's happy, so am I.
"I... I love ya, RD," she whispers quietly, and I tighten my hold on her.
"I love you too, AJ... I think I always have..." and that might as well be true. Thinking about it, I have but I just never knew it. And I think she knows that, too.
All is fine. Nothing can go wrong now. I'm never going to hurt her again. Ever.
Author's Note
Aaaaaaannnnnnnddddddddd it's done! Adorable finales ftw!