I Really Can't Stay . . . .
In a massive, unforgiving, tundra-like scene, Ponyville’s worst winter in decades, one home served as a particular example of an oasis in the desert.
“Mmm! Fluttershy, you always brew such great tea,” Nocturne beamed as he sat his cup back on the table. The tea warmed him up inside, and the crackling fireplace warmed his silvery fur and his ebony, midnight-striped mane.
“Why, thank you, Nocturne!” Fluttershy replied gleefully. “I’m so glad you decided to stay for one last cup. You know I’d never let you go out into the cold without a little warm tea in your tummy!”
Nocturne’s face reddened slightly, and he glanced at the floor. Fluttershy still hadn’t quite realized that she didn’t have to talk to Nocturne as if he were a child. Still, one looking at Nocturne could tell that this wasn’t an unwelcome treatment.
As Nocturne took another sip, he glanced to his right, and saw Angel standing next to him on the couch, offering him a cookie he’d taken from the plate on the table.
Nocturne raised an eyebrow. “Well, Angel, how uncharacteristically kind of you,” he deadpanned.
“Aww, how sweet!” Fluttershy fawned. “I think Angel knows you’re leaving soon, and wanted to give you one last treat before you go!” Fluttershy got up from her chair and trotted over to the fluffy creature and began stroking his head. “Good sharing, Angel bunny!”
Angel closed his eyes and grinned as he leaned into Fluttershy’s petting. His foot tapped the cushion beneath him faster and faster as Fluttershy reached his back.
Suck-up, Nocturne thought as he cautiously took the cookie from Angel. “This won’t explode when I bite it, will it?”
“Oh, Nocturne, we still have to work on your trust issues,” Fluttershy reproved. “Angel is a good bunny . . . most of the time . . . .”
Nocturne sighed, rolled his eyes, and slipped his hoof under his stark-white fedora. “Well, one good gesture deserves another, I guess,” he muttered as he pulled a large, plump carrot out from under his hat. He held the vegetable out to Angel and smiled. “Happy holidays, buddy.”
Angel caught a glimpse of the carrot, and his eyes boggled. He reached out and snatched it from Nocturne’s hoof and began chewing on it mercilessly.
“Angel,” Fluttershy said with a reminding lilt in her tone, “what do we say?”
Angel was a quarter of the way through his meal when he stopped. He frowned briefly before hopping up to Nocturne and rubbing the side of his face against the stallion’s leg.
“Uhh . . .” Nocturne mumbled, unsure of what to make of this, “. . . you’re welcome?”
Fluttershy giggled and returned to her seat and Nocturne bit into the cookie given to him by Angel. In a few seconds, the cookie and the last of his tea were gone, and Nocturne licked his lips in satisfaction. “Well, I’d better get going,” he said, getting up from the couch. “It’s getting late, and I don’t wanna keep you up. See you tomorrow, Fluttershy.”
“Wait a minute, Nocturne,” Fluttershy called and hovered out of her chair after him. “You can’t go out in that. Look outside.”
Nocturne looked back at Fluttershy strangely, then turned to look out the window. He could only see snowflakes plunging from the sky to the ground at a severe angle, and through it, shadows cast by plants and structures that were completely buried in snow. Mounds of white frost took the place of objects in the area around Fluttershy’s cottage. The fading light of the day gave way to an early evening; soon, the only visible thing outside would be the slowly-building blanket of white.
“Yeah, the weather ponies have really outdone themselves this year,” Nocturne quipped in a snarky tone. “But hey, I’ve been through worse. I lived in Everfree for almost twenty years. It takes a lot more than a little snow to kill ‘the Phantom Pony of Everfree’! Oooooooh-oooooooh!” His last few words were in a farcically ominous voice.
Fluttershy was not laughing. “Nocturne, it’s freezing out there,” she said solemnly. “I can’t let you go out there by yourself.”
Nocturne was suddenly stricken with a frightening case of déjà vu. “No,” he said firmly. “Fluttershy, no. Do not be that mare right now. Remember the last time you held me under house arrest? Remember? Sick as a dog, would have taken half an hour to find the meds I needed, then you with your soup and your ice pack and your extra blankets. No offense, but let’s limit those moments to one a year, okay?”
“But Nocturne, just look at that!” Fluttershy repeated, louder this time. “You might get hurt! You might get sick again! You might get lost!”
“Me? Lost in the woods?” Nocturne chuckled. “Clearly, we’re still learning about each other.” Nocturne’s sarcasm wound down when he saw that Fluttershy’s fretful look remained. He sighed and continued more seriously, “Look, Fluttershy. I had a nice time with you. Really, it’s been great. But I won’t impose any more than I have.”
“Nocturne, it’s no imposition,” Fluttershy replied. “I mean, that’s dangerous weather out there. And being so close to the window, you’re already shivering. I mean, look at your wings! They look stiff as ice!”
Nocturne glanced back at his large, leathery bat wings, which were still tightly folded at his sides. “Of course they’re stiff,” he brought the sarcasm back. “I hardly use them.”
“Nocturne, I’d just be worrying about you all night. So would Twilight and the others. I mean, what would happen if they knew you were out in that blizzard all by yourself?”
“Uhhh . . . probably what usually happened when I was outside in a blizzard like this. I mean, seriously, Fluttershy, what’s your worry? Your friends will know that I’m more than capable of taking care of myself. I have up until now.”
“But it’s so nice and warm in here by the fireplace. Just listen to it. Doesn’t it sound sooooo comfy and warm?” Fluttershy’s eyes grew wide and sparkled in the firelight, and her bottom lip jutted out in a slightly pouty way.
I really have to go, Nocturne grumbled to himself. And now here she is, flashing those eyes, giving me the puppy face saying “what’s your hurry?” . . . why does she do this to me?
“One more half a cup,” Nocturne conceded, “and then I’m gone.”
“Oh, um . . . okay,” Fluttershy replied, slightly crestfallen. “Well, I’ll get the tea. Oh, Nocturne?” she added quickly. “Could you be a dear and put another log on the fire while I pour?”
“Uh-huh,” Nocturne gave a lackluster reply and walked toward the fireplace. Ugh, he continued in thought, I swear, I don’t know what to do with her sometimes. I get that she’s trying to help, but at this rate, she’ll never let me out until Winter Wrap-Up . . . Winter Wrap-Up, Winter Wrap-Up . . . damn it! Now I’m gonna have that stupid song in my head until next winter!
After chucking another log on the slowly-fading flames, the orange glow brightened up once again, and the cottage began to grow warmer. “There we go,” he muttered before turning back to Fluttershy. She sat on the couch, steaming cup of tea in hoof, and patted the space on the couch next to her with the other hoof. She wore a sweet, pure smile on her butter-yellow face.
Nocturne felt his face warm up slightly, but he answered Fluttershy’s beckoning, giving a light sigh as he walked slowly. “You know, Fluttershy,” he said tentatively, “don’t you think your friends might . . . I don’t know . . . have something to say about this?”
“Oh, they won’t mind,” Fluttershy replied cheerfully. “They know how close we’ve gotten.”
“Uhh . . . yeah.” It was all Nocturne could reply with as he approached the couch and rejoined Fluttershy. His half-cup already poured, Nocturne picked it up and took a gentle sip. I don’t really want to leave, Nocturne admitted to himself, but I have no choice. I doubt Fluttershy knows what this would look like if I stayed through this storm. I mean, I know how judgmental Rarity and Rainbow Dash can get, and it would take me all day to even explain it to Pinkie Pie. I might have to use sock puppets just to make it clear . . . .
“I’m glad you decided to stay a little longer, Nocturne,” Fluttershy spoke softly, turning to look him right in his eyes. “You know how much I worry about you, right? I mean, you still insist on living in those awful woods, and in this weather, anything could happen to you. I just . . .” she cut herself off, then placed a hoof on Nocturne’s back. “I care about you. Very much . . . .”
“I know you do, but—” Nocturne almost responded in full, but he stopped. The way she’s looking at me, he thought, it’s like . . . it’s like she cares too much. I know she’s the Element of Kindness, but this seems too much even for her. I mean, her eyes . . . they look like stars . . . it’s like she has some kind of spell on me . . . and I can’t break it . . . .
“What is in this stuff?” Nocturne spoke out loud, eying the inside of his teacup suspiciously.
Fluttershy giggled at this. “Oh, Nocturne, you’re so silly. Hmmm . . . you know, I could take your hat for you, if you like. You’ve worn it since you came in—”
“I’ve worn it since before we met, Fluttershy,” Nocturne said earnestly, throwing one hoof over his fedora. “And you know that. It’s special to me.”
“Oh, I know, it’s just that . . . well . . . you should take it off more often. I mean, it’s just my opinion, but . . . I just think . . . .” Fluttershy began to grow red-faced little by little as she spoke. “I think your mane looks really nice . . . .”
At this, Nocturne stared back at Fluttershy as if she’d just told him with the firmest conviction that the sky was purple. “Uhh . . .” he struggled, “. . . thanks?”
What is with her tonight? Nocturne returned to his thoughts. Keeping me in her house, feeding me, asking me for help, complimenting me. I mean, if I didn’t know any better, I’d swear she were—
Instantly, Nocturne’s eyes burst open dinner-plate wide.
There was a long, clumsy pause between the two before Fluttershy tentatively broke it. “Um, Nocturne?” she asked. “Are . . . are you okay?”
“YEAH!!” Nocturne replied, his voice breaking, before he shook off the nervousness. “I-I mean, yeah . . . I’m good . . . .”
“That’s good,” Fluttershy beamed. “Goodness, that fire must need another log already. Maybe if we huddle up close, we can stay warmer for a while?” Fluttershy scooted up close to Nocturne until their flanks were touching. She touched a shoulder to his and laid her head upon it, grinning sweetly. “There. That’s better, isn’t it?” Her grin was accentuated by a slight “squee” sound that sounded more like a rubber toy than a pony smile.
Sweet merciful Faust! Nocturne panicked inside his head. It’s true! She wants the—
“Gee,” Fluttershy interrupted Nocturne’s mental frenzy, “that blizzard really is bad. Just look out the window.” When she pointed, Nocturne looked out the window, and saw that the snow was now piled up so high, it was beginning to obscure the window from the bottom up.
I should have just put my hoof down and left! I was afraid of what Fluttershy’s friends would say before, now I know what they’ll say! Blizzard or no blizzard, I have to get out of here!
Nocturne slurped down the last of his tea and set the cup down. “Hmm, look at that, finished my tea, better run now, bye!” The stallion sprang off the couch and made for the door.
“Nocturne, wait!” Fluttershy called after him. “What’s the sense in leaving now? It’s really late, and that storm is getting worse! I think it would be safer if you stayed here for the night.”
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
“Really, that’s sweet of you, Fluttershy,” Nocturne’s words contrasted with his thoughts quite a bit, “but I really can’t stay.”
Fluttershy hovered off of the couch and landed in front of Nocturne. “But why not?” she asked, her shining eyes showing more than a little disappointment. She looked heartbroken.
Oh, well. At least I gave it my best shot . . . .
“Well . . .” Nocturne tried to explain, “don’t you think ponies might . . . I don’t know . . . say the wrong thing . . . maybe?”
“And why should they?” Fluttershy responded, the slightest tinge of resentment in her tone. “Everypony in town knows I’d do anything for my friends, and you’re a dear friend.”
Wait . . . did she just friend-zone me? ARGH! All these mixed signals!!
“I just really think,” Nocturne resumed, “that ponies might be suspicious. I mean, suppose that ‘Gabby Gums’ article starts appearing in the papers again? You don’t want that, do you?”
Fluttershy was now eying Nocturne with clear skepticism. “Nocturne, I explained to you who Gabby Gums was. And even so, it’s none of their business, right? There’s nothing wrong with it. Really.”
For a shy girl, she’s certainly progressive about the idea.
“Well . . . well . . . .” By now, Nocturne’s “well” was starting to run dry. “Well, don’t you have family who’d be worried about this?”
“Well, I do have a brother . . . but he wouldn’t mind. In fact, I think he’d encourage me to do this.”
Nocturne’s jaw dropped low enough to the floor to make even Pinkie Pie stare in amazement. In fact, she was—unbeknownst to the two Pegasi, the pink party pony stood outside Fluttershy’s window, bundled up to her neck, looking inside with wide eyes at Nocturne’s distended jaw. “Dang, son . . .” she mumbled to herself in awe before turning and hopping away.
“Lend me a scarf,” Nocturne asserted as strongly and resolutely as he could. “I’m leaving, now.”
“But Nocturne, it—”
“It’s cold outside,” they both said simultaneously, Nocturne interrupting her. “Yes, I get it. But this arrangement just won’t work, Fluttershy. We can’t risk other ponies knowing that . . .” he couldn’t bring himself to say it, so he struggled through it at a different angle, “. . . that you helped me. You know and I know that I can’t stay here. So lend me a scarf. I have to go. Now.”
Don’t look her in the face, don’t look her in the face, don’t look her in the face, don’t look her in the face, don’t look her in the face, don’t look her in the face, don’t look her in the face—
Fluttershy’s wide doe-eyes began welling up with tears.
DAMN IT!!
“Why, Nocturne?” Fluttershy sniffed, walking closer to him. “Why don’t you ever want me to help you? There hasn’t been a blizzard like this in Ponyville in decades. It’s up to your neck out there. If I let you go, you’d freeze. You’d catch your death. Think of how I’d feel, how my friends would feel, if that happened to you.” Fluttershy slowly brought her forelegs up and around Nocturne, hugging him tightly and pressing her tear-stained eyes into his coat. “I won’t let that happen, Nocturne. Not while I can do something to help you . . . .”
Nocturne felt Fluttershy’s warm fur press against his, and his heart melted. She’s been so good to me, he thought, feeling guilt stab him in the chest. She doesn’t see what ponies will say, or even imply, if we stay and . . . and we . . . errgh! I can’t even imagine Fluttershy in bed! Not like that!
But still, feeling Fluttershy’s embrace was thrilling, no matter what was going through his mind. He cursed himself for shunning her assistance once again, even though she (sort of) had the best intentions at heart. Her kindness was warmer than her cottage, and felt like a tropical paradise in a snowy storm of neglect and indifference. He couldn’t refuse her. He could never refuse her.
Besides, you know you want it, Nocturne, he accused himself. You’re practically in love with her. Ever since that day in the woods, you’ve had a connection. There’s no point in denying it. So, if she’s ready, you need to get over that doubt, suck it up, and jump in. Now!
“I’ll stay,” Nocturne finally conceded.
Fluttershy gasped and stepped away from Nocturne, looking at him with a bright, sunny face. “Really?”
“Yes. I’ll stay the night.”
Fluttershy’s smile reached an all-time wide, and she brought her hooves up in front of her chest and cheered, “YAAAAY!” She took to the air and hovered beside Nocturne, taking him by the hoof and leading him to her bed. “Come on, let’s get you comfy!”
Courage, man! Don’t wimp out now! She wanted it this way, and you have to let it happen! Don’t back down! Give her what she wants! It’s the least you can do for all she’s done! Now get in there and give her a night to remember! Joyful and triumphant!!
Nocturne and Fluttershy approached the bed, and the latter turned away and floated to the restroom. “I’ll just be a minute,” she said in an assuring voice, “I always freshen up a bit before bed.”
Nocturne looked at her in confusion as she left. “Huh? You’re . . . you’re not coming straight to bed?”
“Oh, it’s okay, Nocturne,” Fluttershy turned to him with her cheerful smile. “You can have the bed all to yourself tonight. I’ll take the couch. It’s no trouble at all. Sweet dreams!” And with that, she slipped through the bathroom door and closed it.
Nocturne’s eyes and mouth, as well as the gaping hole in his soul, went painfully wide.
“She . . . she wasn’t . . . she didn’t mean . . . she didn’t want . . . she . . . I . . . it . . . .” After a while, Nocturne felt his brain breaking, and he slumped down onto the bed in defeat.
After only a few seconds of feeling like a complete idiot, Nocturne was snapped out of his daze by a tapping going off next to him. He turned and saw Angel standing on the bedside table, tapping his foot and looking affronted.
“What now?!” Nocturne barked at him. “Are you upset that I’m staying? Don’t even give me that! You’re not the only disappointed one here, so just sit down and shut up!”
Angel responded by picking up the stumpy, tooth-marked, nub end of his carrot, Nocturne’s gift to him, and throwing it into Nocturne’s face. For a few seconds, Nocturne sat and seethed, staring back at the little fluffy menace.
Soon after, no one outside heard the sound of Fluttershy’s cottage door opening, or saw a small, fluffy white dot flying out the door and plummeting into the snow before the door slammed closed.
