Daily Spinyltap

Grocery day.

A day that can provide sustenance and happiness whilst tearing particularly opinionated family groups apart. At the same time it’s beautiful and necessary yet brutal and volatile.

It was grocery day for Spike and Vinyl.

“Alright, Vinyl, read off the list,” Spike said, looking over his grocery  cart.

“Okay,” Vinyl said, levitating the list in front of her. “Veggie bacon?”

“Check.”

“Lettuce and tomato?”

“Check.”

“Ponyraddish?”

“Double check.”

“Pepsi?”

“Pepsi? What are you talking about?” Spike shot a quizzical gaze at Vinyl. “I don’t drink Pepsi.”

“You don’t drink Pepsi?” Vinyl asked, “Then what the heck do you drink?”

“Colta-Cola! Obviously. It’s by far the most superior of all the major label beverages.”

“Yeah, no. Pepsi is better than Colta-Cola twenty-four seven, seven days a week, three sixty-five.”

Spike picked up the twelve pack of soda and held it up to Vinyl’s face. “Look at this, Vinyl. It’s got holiday themed art on the cans. Does Pepsi have holiday themed art on the cans? No, it doesn’t.”

“It’s not even Hearths’ Warming, yet! It’s just a cheap commercialist ploy to rake in more sales so they can afford to keep putting their cheap contents on the market and selling it to gullible ponies and dragons.” Vinyl shook her head and levitated the soda back to the shelf. “Don’t fall for the government’s scheme, man!”

“The only scheme here is the fact you’ve been brainwashed into thinking Pepsi is a better option,” Spike shook his head. “A fate worse than death.”

Vinyl frowned. “Alright, we’re gonna settle this once and for all. Hey, you!” Vinyl shouted at a blue-vested employee restocking a nearby shelf.

“Um, yes?” the employee responded, approaching them. “How may I help you today, ma’am?”

“My dragonfriend and I are having a little argument. Think you can help?”

The pony nodded. “I’ll do what I can to help.”

“Spike, would you like to explain the situation?” Vinyl asked.

“Alright, sir,” Spike said, cutting in. “Which is better: Colta-Cola or Pepsi?”

“I say Pepsi,” Vinyl said. “Spike thinks Cola has the advantage. What’s your call?”

The pony scratched his chin. “Hmm… neither. I prefer Pineapple soda.”

“What? Pineapple?” Vinyl smacked her face with her hoof. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the pony said. “It’s highly carbonated liquid sugar and tastes delicious. What’s not to like?”

“I don’t know, everything?” Spike said. “Thanks for the help, sir.”

“Not a problem,” the pony said, then walked away to resume his duties.

“Okay, so that didn’t help,” Vinyl said. “We managed to find the one percent of ponykind who like generic fruit soda.”

“Well, that’s just great,” Spike said. “Now what do we do?”

“We need a tiebreaker! What soda is better?”

“Excuse me?” A pony who was shopping nearby approached them. “I couldn’t quite ignore the little squabble I heard over here, and I think I have a solution.”

“A solution?” Spike asked. “Let’s hear it! Please tell her that we need to get Colta-Cola.”

“No way! Tell him that we need to get Pepsi!”

The pony shook her head and chuckled. “The store is having a two for one sale on soda. Just get both!”

“Both?” The two asked in unison.

“Yes. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find some pasta. You two lovebirds have a good day!”

Vinyl and Spike were left standing alone amidst the store shelves.

“Yeah, let’s just get both,” Vinyl said.

“Sounds good to me.”