Daily Spinyltap

by FamousLastWords

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Slice of Life, Comedy
Length: 3834

Daily misadventures in the life of Spike and vinyl.

Spike and Vinyl are in a relationship. This story details the many misadventures they happen to experience.

Updates daily.

Written for this competition.

Note: Cover art is currently being created.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-17 04:54:22 UTC

Sleepless Nights and Weird Questions

The moon hung high in the sky, basking it’s light over the town of Ponyville. In a small, downtown apartment, two figures lay next to each other, attempting to fall asleep. However, that was not in the equation and they were left staring at the ceiling, instead.

“Hey, Spike. It was pretty cool for you to use all the money you saved up to get us our own place like this.”

“Yeah, it was worth it. I mean, the castle was nice, but you know, you’re pretty nice, too, Vinyl.”

“Thanks, Spike,” Vinyl responded. “Pretty glad we’re together now. Life seems less, you know, complex. It makes sense, now.”

“True that,” Spike replied. “And, I’m not gonna lie, it’s kind of nice being away from Twilight. I mean, I love her to no end, but things could get pretty… tedious. To say the least.”

“Yeah, I can imagine,” Vinyl said with a chuckle. “Living with Octavia was no picnic either. I’m gonna miss having her around.”

“But Vinyl, we live right next door to her,” Spike said. “You can visit her whenever you want to.”

“Oh, yeah. Okay, I guess I won’t miss her that much.” Vinyl chuckled and grabbed a hold of Spike’s claw. “And I guess you were a pretty good trade off anyway..”

“Thanks, Vinyl,” Spike said, gripping her hoof. “So, it’s like three in the morning. Why can’t you sleep?”

“I dunno, too much excitement recently.” Vinyl said. “What about you, Spike?”

“Too much nonsense in my head. A lot of questions that need to get answered.” Spike let out a sigh.

“Yeah, totally. Like, when’s our next gig going to be? How much money do we need to make.”

“How long is it going to be before Twilight starts barging in on us?”

“What’s our excuse if she barges in at an awkward moment?”

“So many questions…”

The two let an air of silence overtake the room while they just enjoyed the feel of the other’s body pressed up against them.

“Hey, Spike?” Vinyl asked, breaking her view of the ceiling to look at her partner. “I have a pretty important question.”

“What might that be?” Spike said, returning her gaze.

“What’s gonorrhea? I heard someone mention it and I’m not sure what it is. Must have fell asleep during that part of health class.”

“Gonorrhea?” Spike asked.. “Oh yeah, sure, I know what that is.”

“Okay, what is it?” She asked.

Spike immediately searched through his mind to find an answer. Any answer. Unfortunately, he must have not paid attention, either. Time to use an educated guess…

“Well, Vinyl, that’s an easy one.” Spike cleared his throat and readied his answer. “It’s diarrhea that’s gone. Diarrhea that has left.”

Vinyl blinked a few time. “Hmm… seems legit. Thanks, Spike.”

“No problem, Vinyl. Good night.”

Vinyl cuddled up against Spike and pulled the covers over them. “Good night, Spike.”

Coke or Pepsi?

Grocery day.

A day that can provide sustenance and happiness whilst tearing particularly opinionated family groups apart. At the same time it’s beautiful and necessary yet brutal and volatile.

It was grocery day for Spike and Vinyl.

“Alright, Vinyl, read off the list,” Spike said, looking over his grocery  cart.

“Okay,” Vinyl said, levitating the list in front of her. “Veggie bacon?”

“Check.”

“Lettuce and tomato?”

“Check.”

“Ponyraddish?”

“Double check.”

“Pepsi?”

“Pepsi? What are you talking about?” Spike shot a quizzical gaze at Vinyl. “I don’t drink Pepsi.”

“You don’t drink Pepsi?” Vinyl asked, “Then what the heck do you drink?”

“Colta-Cola! Obviously. It’s by far the most superior of all the major label beverages.”

“Yeah, no. Pepsi is better than Colta-Cola twenty-four seven, seven days a week, three sixty-five.”

Spike picked up the twelve pack of soda and held it up to Vinyl’s face. “Look at this, Vinyl. It’s got holiday themed art on the cans. Does Pepsi have holiday themed art on the cans? No, it doesn’t.”

“It’s not even Hearths’ Warming, yet! It’s just a cheap commercialist ploy to rake in more sales so they can afford to keep putting their cheap contents on the market and selling it to gullible ponies and dragons.” Vinyl shook her head and levitated the soda back to the shelf. “Don’t fall for the government’s scheme, man!”

“The only scheme here is the fact you’ve been brainwashed into thinking Pepsi is a better option,” Spike shook his head. “A fate worse than death.”

Vinyl frowned. “Alright, we’re gonna settle this once and for all. Hey, you!” Vinyl shouted at a blue-vested employee restocking a nearby shelf.

“Um, yes?” the employee responded, approaching them. “How may I help you today, ma’am?”

“My dragonfriend and I are having a little argument. Think you can help?”

The pony nodded. “I’ll do what I can to help.”

“Spike, would you like to explain the situation?” Vinyl asked.

“Alright, sir,” Spike said, cutting in. “Which is better: Colta-Cola or Pepsi?”

“I say Pepsi,” Vinyl said. “Spike thinks Cola has the advantage. What’s your call?”

The pony scratched his chin. “Hmm… neither. I prefer Pineapple soda.”

“What? Pineapple?” Vinyl smacked her face with her hoof. “Are you serious?”

“Yes, ma’am,” the pony said. “It’s highly carbonated liquid sugar and tastes delicious. What’s not to like?”

“I don’t know, everything?” Spike said. “Thanks for the help, sir.”

“Not a problem,” the pony said, then walked away to resume his duties.

“Okay, so that didn’t help,” Vinyl said. “We managed to find the one percent of ponykind who like generic fruit soda.”

“Well, that’s just great,” Spike said. “Now what do we do?”

“We need a tiebreaker! What soda is better?”

“Excuse me?” A pony who was shopping nearby approached them. “I couldn’t quite ignore the little squabble I heard over here, and I think I have a solution.”

“A solution?” Spike asked. “Let’s hear it! Please tell her that we need to get Colta-Cola.”

“No way! Tell him that we need to get Pepsi!”

The pony shook her head and chuckled. “The store is having a two for one sale on soda. Just get both!”

“Both?” The two asked in unison.

“Yes. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go find some pasta. You two lovebirds have a good day!”

Vinyl and Spike were left standing alone amidst the store shelves.

“Yeah, let’s just get both,” Vinyl said.

“Sounds good to me.”

Saturday Night Sever

Spike and Vinyl sat on their apartment floor, glued to the TV. It was Saturday night, and that being the case, it was B-Movie night.

Tonight's selection happened to be Revenge Of The Headless Cheerleader.

“Hey, Spike, pass me the chips.” Vinyl reached her hoof out without breaking her vision lock on the television.

“Sure thing.” Spike grabbed the bowl of nachos and passed them over.

“Oh, shoot… this is the good part!” Vinyl shouted, sending crumbs from her mouth flying onto Spike.

With a loud crunch and sickening tear, a stallion was very messily decapitated on screen.

“Oh, man!” Spike said. “Poor guy, thought he was gonna get some, but nope!”

“Yeah, it's a pretty good bet that if your date is a headless cheerleader, you're gonna run into some complications.”

The two resumed munching on their snacks as the gratuitous violence and sexual content played before their eyes.

“So, Vinyl, do you like, ever wonder why all these teenagers keep running into those suspicious locations that are obviously traps?” Spike shrugged and turned to her. “I mean, they’re running away in the middle of town and as opposed to hiding in the school or courthouse, they run right into the cemetery and try to hide behind tombstones. Can you explain this logic to me, because i don’t get it at all.”

“Oh, that’s an easy one,” Vinyl replied. “If they made good decisions there wouldn’t be enough violence. And if there wasn’t enough violence, we wouldn’t fill our weekly quota of dismemberment.”

“Ah, I see,” Spike said, all of the understanding of the universe coming back to him once more. “Now I get it.”

All that could be heard  between the two was the putrid sound of torn flesh, blood-curdling screams and very poor acting, but it was enough to keep the couple occupied.

Vinyl leaned over and rested her head on Spike’s shoulder. Her hooves delicately laced around his waist, holding him tight. “Hey, Spike?”

“Yeah?”

“If there was ever a greater sign of true love in the universe, this” she looked from him to the tv and back, “this is it.”

“I agree with you one-hundred percent,” he said, nuzzling her cheek. “The crystal heart or whatever they have down in the Empire… that’s got nothing on us and it never will.”

Vinyl shuckled and lightly kissed his cheek. “Nope, not at all. Vinyl and Spike… that’s totally my OTP, just saying.”

Spike laughed aloud. “Ha, yeah, mine too. Mine too.”

“So… Spike?” Vinyl asked. “Do you ever think about watching, I don’t know, normal movies on our movie night?”

“Absolutely not. You?”

“Never.”

“It’s settled then,” Spike replied, a smile curling onto his lips.

“Hey, Spike?”

“Yeah, Vinyl?’

“Would you, like, face down a hoard of zombie cheerleaders for me?”

“I’d face down a hoard of zombie cheerleaders, a legion of satanic skanks from the underworld and an army of prostitute changelings… if it meant saving you. So, I got your back.”

The two laughed and cuddled into each other. And they stayed that way as night wore on, until they fell asleep in each other's’ grasp.

Sunday is Hoofball Day

Vinyl's hoof pounded on the front door of Twilights home.

“You sure she's gonna be awake, Spike? It is a Sunday after all.”

“Sleep and Twilight have never been on a first name basis,” Spike said. “She'll be up and around. Besides, if she isn't, we can just go in anyway”

“I like the way you think,” Vinyl said with a wink. She continued her knocking rampage.

The front door cracked open. “Hello? Oh, Spike! Vinyl!” Twilight burst the door open and wrapped Spike up in a hug. “I’ve missed you, Spike!”

Spike instantly felt his windpipe crushed within Twilight's magical embrace. “I.. Missed.. You.. Too!”

Twilight finally released Spike from her death grip “Oh, Spike, it’s good to see you! And Vinyl, how are you?”

“Doing good, Twilight,” Vinyl said with a smile.

“Good to hear,” Twilight replied. “Is Spike taking care of you, still?’

“Heh, more like me taking care of him. My daily plan usually involves keeping him out of trouble.”

“Welcome to the club,” Twilight said, eyeing Spike with a crooked Smile.

Spike frowned and darted his eyes between the two mares laughing around him. “Okay, okay, are we done making fun of the dragon, now?”

“Alright, alright, sorry Spike,” Twilight said. “I just don’t get to have the opportunity much anymore. Now, if I may ask, what exactly brings you to my home today?”

“We want to borrow your big-screen TV,” Vinyl replied calmly. “The Oatland Raiders are on TV today. We need the full experience.”

“Yeah, Twi, this is some serious stuff. Playoff implications,  heated rivalry, a chance to take the lead in the division. it’s a pretty big deal.”

“So…” Twilight began, “you just want to use my television to watch the game?”

“Yep!” The couple replied in unison.

“Alright.” Twilight shook her head and stepped aside, allowing entrance to the two.

“Thanks, Twi!” Spike said. “Just like old times, right?”

****

Twilight hid her face in her hooves, her headache increasing with every play going on on the screen. For with every play, came an increasingly loud cheer or protest from her two guests.

“What the heck!” Vinyl shouted, spraying Twilight with popcorn she tossed from her hooves. “Get the ref some glasses! Totally a pass interference.”

“No, no, no, the receiver pushed off first, so it’s pretty much a legal call. Now, the illegal formation, that was some crap!”

“Yeah! The refs are totally calling this game. They’re cheating!”

“Forget that. The entire National Hoofball League hates the Raiders!’

“GUYS!”

The two of them snapped their heads back to look at Twilight. “What?”

“Three things: First, the defender was looking back for the ball, so it wasn’t a penalty. Second, the receiver was covering the eligible offensive line pony, so it was an illegal formation. Three, take it to the room upstairs!”

With flash of light, Spike, Vinyl and the entire entertainment system was teleported to an upstairs room, far away from Twilight.

“What happened?” Spike asked looking around.

“I don’t know, but she teleported the popcorn, too! Now shut up and watch the game. it’s the fourth quarter.”

“Got it.

Without a word, the two resumed their places on the floor and glued their eyes on the TV. A Sunday well spent.

Lazy Monday

“I hate Mondays…” Vinyl tossed and turned in her bed, her stomach twisting and turning in unison. “Ergh.”

“Vinyl, relax, it’s okay.” Spike sat on the bed next to her. “Just try and stay comfortable. Do you need anything to drink or eat?”

“Oh Celestia, please don’t mention food!” Vinyl turned to lay on her back and tried to stifle down the vomit. “I must’ve eaten way too many snacks yesterday during the game. That’s the last time I eat two bowls of extra hot salsa.”

“Yeah, and maybe you should’ve stopped after the third bottle Smirhoof Ice. From what I understand, ponies don’t have quite as much alcohol tolerance as we dragons do.”

“Ugh… don’t remind me,” Vinyl moaned out. “Please, go get a doctor or rub my stomach or something!”

“Okay, okay, I can do that much.” Spike gently rubbed his palm in circles on Vinyl’s tummy, eliciting a soft sigh of relief from her. “Is this helping?”

Vinyl rested her head against her pillow and closed her eyes. “Yeah, that helps a lot. Just… Just keep doing it, okay?”

“No problem,” Spike said with a smile. “Although, I fully expect you to return the favor if and when I ever get sick.”

“Sounds good to me,” Vinyl said. “But for now, keep putting those claws to good use.”

For the better part of the next thirty minutes Spike was stuck in position, doing his part to help Vinyl feel better. It wasn’t the most glorious of tasks, but helping his mare feel better was always worth the time it took..

“Alright, Spike, I think I feel better now. “Vinyl sat up and looked at him. “I’m still not sure I want to get out of the bed yet. So, you know what that means, right?”

“I should go check the mail and do the other daily tasks you usually do?”

“Nope, it means that you’ve gotta stay in bed with me just in case I start feeling like crap again.” Vinyl wrapped her hooves around Spike and dragged him back into the bed with her.

“Well, apparently I have little choice in the matter,” Spike said with a chuckle.

“Actually, you have no choice in the matter.” Vinyl laughed and wrapped Spike up in a tight embrace.

“Hmm, I can think of worse places to be trapped then up against a hot mare,” Spike said. “So, what should we do today?”

“Well, it’s a Monday, so we better not try and face the world. Way too risky.”

“We could always go mess with Octavia,” Spike said. “That sounds like fun.”

“That… actually sounds like a great idea. But not today.” Vinyl rubbed her chin. “If you ask me, the best course of action would be to stay right here… all day.”

“All day?” Spike asked.

“All day.” Vinyl smiled and wrapped up Spike tightly. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’m going to try and get some sleep. I didn’t exactly get a  whole lot of sleep last night.”

“A full day of sleeping with you? Yep, sounds like a great idea to me. Good night, Vinyl. Or should I say… good day?”

“Just shut up and hold me.”

Spike did just so.

Waiting In Line

“Alright, here we are.” Spike grinned as the smell of fresh cooked donuts filled his nostrils. “And the only thing that separates us from those fresh, cream filled donuts at this point is the dwindling line of ponies in front of us.”

“These better be worth getting out of bed at six AM, Spike,” Vinyl said, trying to wipe the sleep out of her eyes.

“Don’t worry, Vinyl, they’re totally worth it. But the shop closes down for the day at ten, so we had to get here early.”

“Alright, fair enough,” Vinyl said. “But like I said, I hope these are good.”

Spike and Vinyl patiently waited in line, awaiting their just desserts. More ponies kept joining the line behind them as the line creeped forward. Creeped forward at a very, very slow pace.

“Spike?” Vinyl asked, looking at her dragon friend.

“What’s up?” Spike replied.

“We’ve been standing in line for like… the last thirty minutes. How much longer until we get to the front? I’m hungry!”

Spike cast his gaze at the conveniently located ‘Two Hours From This Point” sign next to them. “Eh, I’m sure it won’t be that long. Besides, it’ll totally be worth it once we get the flaky, sugary donuts and soft cream filling snaking down our throats into our stomachs.”

“Are we describing food here or a porno movie?”

****

Two hours later…

“Spike, I can see it!” Vinyl’s stomach growled in anticipation as she saw the front counter of the bakery approaching. “It’s finally here!”

“Oh my gosh, you’re right!” Spike’s feet left the ground along with his fleeting heart at the sight of hand crafted delights approaching him at a quick pace. “Alright, Vinyl, we’re in the home stretch now, just a little bit further!”

The sweet aroma filled their noses stronger than ever. The delectable sounds of flaky crust being lifted from a pan to the shelf filled their ears. The beautiful sight of glazed donuts being wrapped and placed into a bag for carrying convenience made their stomachs rumble.

The time had come, and they were  oh so ready for it.

They reached the front counter. Hearts palpitating, stomachs rumbling and eyes ablaze with desire, they made the order.

“Two cream-filled donuts, please!” They both shouted in unison.

“Alright, will that be all for you, today?” The cashier said with a bright smile.

“That’s all she wrote,” Spike said.

The cashier disappeared for a brief second and returned with two beautiful, crispy donuts. She placed them in a bag. Vinyl and Spike were on the edge of their proverbial seats in anticipation.

Their bodies were more than ready. They were at advanced readiness.

“Okay, that’ll be two bits,” the cashier said.

“Okay, sounds good-... Uh-oh.” Spike looked through his logic-defying pockets and realized he was missing something of utmost importance.

“I don’t have my wallet.”

Spike felt his heart sink into his stomach at the realization of what had just transpired. And the thought of how Vinyl was probably going to kill him when they returned home.

“Spike, lucky for you, I always come prepared with my emergency money.” Vinyl smiled and levitated out her emergency coin purse. “Uh-oh.”

“Uh-oh?”

“Looks like I forgot to put any bits in it.”

“Vinyl?”

“Yes, Spike?”

“We suck.”

“Yes. Yes, we do.”

Messing With Octavia, Ep. 1

Vinyl and Spike crept out of their doorway and darted over to Octavia’s front door.

The sun was setting in the sky, signaling the time of day for all the working class ponies to return home to their families and friends and engage in a few recreational activities before bedtime.

That meant that the time for Vinyl and Spike to do their designated duty was running out.

Vinyl and Spike stood in front of her door, smiles wide.

“So, Spike, you ready?” Vinyl asked.

“You know it,” Spike replied.

Vinyl levitated her trusty video camera from her saddlepack, held it out in front of the two of them and pressed record.

“Hi! I’m Vinyl Scratch.”

“And I’m Spike!”

“Welcome to the premier episode of Messing With Octavia!”

“So, Vinyl, what are we gonna do to her today?”

“Well, tomorrow is the big recital she has planned in the town community center, so she’ll be wanting to practice for it the moment she gets home. Let’s just say that we’re gonna throw just a little wrench in those plans.”

Vinyl shut off the camera and looked at Spike. “Alright, I should still have my spare key to her apartment… Yep, here it is.” Vinyl put the key in the keyhole and turned the lock.

“Spike, breaking and entering will be just one of the many adventures you’re gonna get to experience now that we’re a thing.”

“Sounds just fine to me,” Spike said with a snicker.

The two made their way through her living area and into her room.

“Alright, Spike, here’s the plan,” Vinyl said. “You see that Viola over there. That’s the one she uses for every major event and she’ll be playing it the instant she walks in her door. We’re going to hide in the closet, with you manning the camera. As she plays it, i’ll use a minor burst of magic to change the tuning on it.”

“Oh, man, this could turn out to be interesting,” Spike said.

“Interesting indeed,” Vinyl replied.

From the other room, they heard the door handle jiggling.

“Alright, Spike, let’s hide. Now is the time!”

Spike grabbed the camera, starting recording and the two jumped into the closet.

“Alright everyone, here we go. Let’s see what happens when we change up the tuning on Octavia’s instrument.”

Octavia hummed a tune to herself as she entered the bedroom. As per Vinyl’s assumption, she immediately grabbed her Viola. A soft tune emitted through the room. Octavia moved her gently played the instrument in perfect rhythm, but that didn’t last long.

Vinyl’s horn glowed and in a split second, a loud scratching noise rang out.

“What in the world?” Octavia said. “This string must be off.”

With a few quick turns of her hoof, the instrument was back into working order and Octavia had resumed her playing.

“Screech!”

“What? Another off tune string?” Octavia scrunched her face and furiously tightened her strings. “There.”

The beautiful music began playing once more.

“Screech!”

“Blast! What is going on here? This instrument is a thing possessed!”

Octavia tightened her string once more, more furious than before. “Alright, let’s try once more, you filthy instrument!”

“Scratch!”

“AAHHH!” Octavia lost it and heaved her viola across the room.

“Hahhahahaha!”

Vinyl and Spike rolled out of the closet, laughing their heads off.

“Vinyl? Spike? What are you two- Oh! Get out of here!”

Vinyl and Spike stifled their laughter for a brief second, just long enough to look at the camera.

“Thank you all for watching Messing With Octavia! See you next time!”