THE PONYIAD

Roy had lived on a spaceship his whole life. His parents had been space pirates, and when they died, he had been raised by their subordinates. He had learned the arts of drinking, wearing finger-less gloves, and pick-pocketing from rich travelers.  Now he was 16, and the crew had decided to expel him from his home to go seek his own fortune. They'd given him 1000 credits. "That should be enough to buy a ship" they'd said, but he almost immediately blew it on a couple hundred ponies. Now he was stuck in the station, surrounded by four-legged mindless creatures who were determined to escape. Throwing caution to the wind, he took out his pulse pistol and started mowing the ponies down. Fire alarms went off as the dead bodies ignited, and Roy burst into the main hangar bay. He dashed up the ramp of a red ship. At the controls was a red haired woman. She looked as if she had swallowed several pillows. She turned with a sharp, birdlike movement, and shrieked "STEVEN! GET OUT OF MY SHIP!" She got up and shoved him to the ground. She then screamed "I'M BI GET OUT OF THE WAY I HAVE RIGHTS MATE." Roy jumped to his feet, then retreated out of the ship. He'd have to find a new ship. She probably had a uni-sex bathroom anyway. Fire suppressant foam had leaked through the hangar door, and people were running around in panic. Roy spotted a sleek, high-tech looking space ship. It's ramp was open! He ran up the ramp, and to his surprise, it was empty. He got to its controls, then streaked out of the hangar. A red light started blinking, and he was patched over to a broadcast from the station. "Attention Ship #104429. Under article 44 of the Space Station

Traffic Laws, you are breaching intergalactic code. Pay the ticket fee of 2.6 million credits or be under jurisdiction and be imprisoned by the Space Traffic Support." Unfortunately, Roy didn't have 2.6 million credits, so he instead activated his sub-light drive, heading for the nearest planet. Khador. It was infamous for pirate activity, and fortunately that was what he was classified as now.