When courier six finally woke up, he lazily opened his eyes and murmured, "I hate you, Murphy and your damn laws." Then he sighed and slowly pushed himself off the ground. He felt a bit dizzy as he took a look around. Red foreboding sky, silence like from a horror itself, next to no light shining through the clouds and of course creepy and rotten buildings. Hmm… still doesn't beat Deathclaw Promotory.

Courier shrugged but before he could do anything a hologram appeared right in front of him at the top of the fountain. It had a face of an angry old man, which then spoke, “You're awake, good. Now from now on when I talk, listen and follow my instructions. Play stupid, play clever, make a mistake of saying “no”? That collar on your neck will go off and take your head with it.”

“You mean this?” courier asked before he grabbed the device, pushed several places, pulled it off, showed it to the hologram and then threw it away.

“… well, I didn't expect that. May I ask, how did you do that?”

“I think I am the one that should be,” courier stated before he felt a slight breeze on his cheek. Why do I feel a breeze on my cheek, unless... His eyes went wide as he examined his body and his pipboy. His gear, his weapons, his armour but above everything else his bandages were gone! He quickly stripped in front of the man, shredded the jumpsuit he wore seconds ago, bandaged his head and his hands, while leaving only trousers intact. Elijah just looked dumbfound at what that he had just seen. The courier glared at the man and stated, “You have seen my face, haven't you?”

“I suppose I did… and it seems like it is a touchy subject for you, so how about we talk this through?”

“Go on.”

“I don't know who are you or why are you here, it doesn't really matter to me. All I want is Sierra Madre and you can either help me or suffer the consequences.”

“What makes you think that I simply won't find you and just get rid of you?”

“Because, if you kill me, Sierra Madre will stay closed along with all its treasures.”

“I am sorry, did you say anything, I kind of stopped listening after you said “stay closed”,” courier said as he cleaned his right ear with his finger, before he continued, “Look here, I don't really care what do you want to do with this place, so don't try luring me with treasures or anything like this.”

“Then, why are you even here? If you don't care for Sierra Madre or its treasures, then why are you here?”

“Simple, I was bored. Bored, beyond belief. Mojave is a place full of things to do, but once you do all that matters it gets stale. Then I heard of a city of the dead and decided to see, whether there are still things that can be considered challenging. And this is how I ended up here.”

“I see… well, I don't know if I can offer you anything substantial but if you decided to work with me, we could crack open Sierra Madre together and then share what we find. Does it sound appealing?”

“Sure, why not? It's not like I have got anything else to do. Okay then, old man, what needs to be done?”

“Excellent, there are three other collars I want you to find each of them is in a separate location, so you will need to do some walking.”

“Other collars? Why do need them anyway?”

“In order for Sierra Madre to open, we have to set off the gala. It's the only way in. And to do that, you need to assemble a crew, any questions?”

“Only one, what is this rifle? It looks sexy as hell, uses micro fusion cells and from what my pipboy can tell me, it deals a significant amount of damage. Overall great weapon, if I say so myself.”

“It is called a “holorifle” and it is a weapon I invented myself. This model is rather outdated, but it should serve you just fine.”

“Nice, then I will be on my way. By the way, you have got my permission to talk through the pipboy for now, but try not to bother me too much. However, first things first. It it time to do some looting,” courier said, before he explored the square where the fountain was located. He took all Sierra Madre's chips, some bottle caps, a card for caravan and a couple other things. Once he did that, he turned west and started walking.

A toxic dead city and a crazy old man, seems like there is something to do after all! Courier six was slowly walking towards his objective when suddenly he heard something and immediately crouched down. It sounded like wheezing so he slowly made his way towards the noise. Once he finally noticed the thing, his eyes went wide. It looked like a human, but it felt so wrong. He materialized his holorifle, took the aim and fired. The shoot hit the creature, causing it to fall down. Courier six sighed before he walked up to it and took a look at it. It looked like one of those hazmat suits he found in Big Mountain, but other than that he couldn't say anything. He was about to go, when suddenly the creature lunged at him with a spear. Reacting purely on instinct, he deflected the spear with his left arm then grabbed it and punched the creature's head with his right hand, blowing it up from the force of the impact. He watched it as it fell and waited for a few more seconds, before he looted the body and took all the spears.

“What you have just fought was one of the villa's inhabitants. They are tough to kill, so try to disintegrate or blow up them up next time.”

“Gee, thanks for an advice. What are those things anyway?” Courier asked, while glancing at his arm, where the spear hit him. It has already regenerated, leaving a healthy tissue in its place.

“They are victims of the cloud. It changed them and trapped them in those suits. They are more like feral ghouls than anything else, at this point.”

“I see, is there anything else I should know beforehand?”

“Two things, actually. The first one is the fact that there are dense clouds, located in some places. Don't go into them, they will kill you if stay too long. Now for the second thing, have you noticed that your sight will occasionally pulse? It is the cloud, slowly killing everything it touches. Too much exposure, death.”

“Well, the second one shouldn't be a problem, while the first one, I guess I have to be careful and quick on my feet. Huh, who could have thought, you can be useful after all, old man.”

“My name is father Elijah,” he growled.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Let's keep going, shall we?” courier asked before he continued. The police station soon appeared in his view. It looked shady, but who was he to judge? He went inside and the first thing he noticed was a nightkin in a cage.

“Watch out for the radios and speakers, they will detonate other collars, so disable them or blow them up. Although watch out for the red speakers, they are shielded. The only thing you can do is cut off their power.”

“So if I had a collar, I would have to go back and forth, trying to find the damn thing that is about kill me. Well, that's not fun, even more it gets repetitive. I sympathize with the previous collars, no wonder they didn't make it.”

“It was greed that killed them in the end, not the speakers. ”

“I am not surprised by that. White Legs decided that they wanted to join Caesar's Legion but they were up against me so they meet their end rather quickly and you know what? I don't regret this at all. In any case, let's take a look around.” courier answered and did as he said. He rummaged through the station and found some good stuff, including Sierra Madre security armour and an automatic rifle. He quickly put on the new clothes and sighed with relief. Finally an armour that covers my entire body and a gun that will waste those damn ghosts. Life is beautiful, isn't it? As he was walking through the station he noticed a couple bottles of purified water, which he promptly picked, before he noticed a skeleton, with its arm stretching towards the place, where the bottles used to be. Dying from a thirst in such conditions, poor bastard.

Once he finished his business on the first floor he went to the basement. As he was walking through it, he finally came across what he was looking for since he had arrived in Sierra Madre. Right in front of him there was a workbench! He run up to it with a huge grin on his face. The first he did was clean his knife spear with an abraxo cleaner, turning it into a weapon that could slice off limbs without any issues. Then he crafted a couple weapon repair kits, which he then immediately used. Once he finished this, he looted the rest of the basement. The only thing important in this place was a holotape, which he played in front of the nightkin, after he went upstairs.

He watched as the mutant's eyes shifted, then it slowly got up on its feet and said, “What have we here? You aren't who I was expecting. I'm disappointed. Still … even if you aren't my intended guest, you take directions. You can't have been an idiot to figure out how to release me from my cage … or perhaps you are?”

“A nightkin with a personality disorder? Why am I not surprised?”

“Now, why did you come here, why did you let me out?”

“I am looking for someone with a bomb collar, something about an angry old man that keeps ordering others around. In any event, where is your collar?”

“It is close, closer than I'd like. Dog… he ate it. And you come, it is tugging like a leash, interesting.”

“You ate it? Damn and I thought I had an iron belly. Still, you wouldn't have locked yourself in, unless you had a way out? And if that is the case than the old man could control the other half, from what I can tell.”

“Dog … obeys, yes … why … do you have some means of contracting Elijah?”

“An audio log.”

“You … don't play it! If you do, I will find a way to get out of this, end you. I'll murder you, crush your arms and legs, until...”

“So, I get to choose between a ravenous beast and a guy that will tear me apart, if I don't listen to him?” courier six asked with one of his brows raised. Then he smiled maniacally and hissed, “I think, I will take the beast, goodbye whoever you are.” He played the audio log on his pipboy and the nightkin changed again.

It looked at the courier with its eyes devoid of any intelligence, before it asked, “Master, master, where are you, master?”

“Calm down, the master needs your help. There is a key somewhere on you, just get it and open the door,” Courier said and the nightkin obeyed. It found the key, opened the door and followed the courier. Once they were outside, the man noticed two things he didn't want to see. A ghost and another ghost. Not those things again!

Courier six quickly materialized his knife spear and charged the ghost on his left while Dog attacked the one on his right. Fortunately neither of ghosts had any spears to throw, so there was that. The ghost lunged at him with its bear trap fist, but the courier simply sidestepped, before he hit the ghost with his spear, sending body parts all across the area. He sighed with relief as he rested the spear on his shoulder before he glanced at the Dog, who tackled the ghost.

“Om nom, nom,” nightkin said happily as it devoured the ghost. Damn, that guy can eat anything, can't he? And now I am hungry myself. The courier opened his inventory, took out some “pork and beans” and a bottle of dirty water, which he ate instantly thanks to his pipboy.

Then, he wiped his mouth, walked up to the mutant and asked, “I watched you devour one of the ghost people. How did you make it stay dead?” The nightkin looked at the courier before it explained entire process to the courier. “ I see, thanks. Now then, I want you to go to the fountain and wait for me. The master is waiting for you,” courier said before mutant nodded eagerly and run off.

The courier raised his head and watched the red clouds of Sierra Madre, slowly drifting above him. I wonder how did this place used to look like, before the cloud, before the war? Courier contemplated his thoughts when suddenly he heard a distinct noise that caught his attention. It sounded like something just crashed into a cupboard followed by a girly scream. Again? Why is always me, that has to play a hero all the time?

The courier ran towards the source of noise, using his kinetic implants to propel himself to inhuman speed. It took him a few seconds, but once he arrived, he noticed a peculiar sight. Three radroaches were trying to break into a room where the creature that made the noise was hiding. He quickly materialized his spear and killed all the bugs with one swift move, cutting them all apart. Once he did that, he slowly backed away, sat down under the wall and began to wait. It didn't take long, until he noticed a big green eye carefully peeking out of the corner, at the bottom of the door. When the creature noticed him, it squealed and closed the door again. Courier six stared dumbfound at the door, as he repeated the sound in his mind, it had just made seconds ago. Did it just squeal? That … was … adorable!!! I want to know what made that sound.

The door opened again, but this time the creature kept watching him. Courier six slowly raised both his hands, showing they were empty and said, “I am not going to hurt you.” The creature frowned before it said something that sounded like a language, but unlike anything he has ever heard before. So it's sentient, probably. However, I can't communicate with it through words. Just my damn luck. I can find a full suit of power armour in a trash bin, but the chances of an English speaking alien are zero of course. Courier six sighed, before he looked at his pipboy, materialized a fresh apple, he found through his luck, put it in front of the creature and stepped back. The creature smelled the air, slowly opened the door and walked up to the apple, its' hooves clanking on the floor.

Courier's eyes went wide, his jaw dropping to the ground. In front of him there was a small unicorn with a light grey coat, green eyes and grayish mulbery mane with some some pale, light grayish rose streaks. It was a little taller than his knees, making it seem like a medium sized dog. It slowly grabbed the apple with its mouth before it quickly retreated behind the door. Well, it seems like the wasteland still can't cut me some slack in terms of being crazy. Although a small female unicorn? This trumps even aliens!

The courier was slowly accepting the fact that he had just met a unicorn before he realized something very important. He was still in Sierra Madre. He cursed his luck as he understood the consequences of that. If she stays here on her own she is going to die, killed by a cloud, ghost people or from lack of sleep, food and water. Well, fuck me. I can't let that happen. This thing is too cute and there are very few cute things in the wasteland. Okay then, it is decided. Courier six, ruler of New Vegas, scourge of the Legion, wild card of the NCR shall become a babysitter! … that sounded better when I first though about it.

He slowly got up, dusted himself off, knocked at the door and took a step back. The unicorn slowly opened the door as she looked at the man with a curious glance. He knelt down and slowly extended his hand towards her. She glanced at him before she she slowly walked up to him and let the courier pet her. It seemed like she was enjoying it. Seizing the opportunity, he quickly grabbed the unicorn and lifted her from the ground. She tried to struggle, but he quickly shushed her. She gulped and watched as the courier carefully ... hugged her. He kept stroking her mane and whispering soothing words, she couldn't understand until she calmed down.

Then he secured the unicorn with his left hand while in his right he drew a police pistol. Okay then, objective number one: grab the unicorn, complete. Phase two, go to the workshop and create an armour for her so she doesn't get hurt, if it ever happens. And so he did just that. Courier six returned to the police station along with his new companion and went down to the basement. Once he was there, he took some measurements and got down to work.

Author's Note

THE MADNESS CONTINUES!!!

Will Sweetie Belle survive the Madre or will she perish?

Nah, who am I kidding, if she died it wouldn't make sense to write this fiction in the first place, but what she doesn't know that the Courier is not exactly a hero, as the title suggests.