A God in Equestria

I am a God.

Yes, you heard it right. I am a God.

Before you call me crazy and try to put me into mental facility, let me tell you my story.

My name is... well, it is irrelevant. I don't name myself, others do. I have many names: The God, The Creator, The Savior, The Destroyer, The Bringer of Death and many other cheesy names people give. Yet I can have any name I want: Nicholas, Sergey, John, Jason, Fransua, et cetera. But I have no name right now. Just The God, a name that is truly mine now.

I can be anyone and anything I want. I can turn into anything, I can become entirely different. I can change anything about my body at will. Become the most beautiful woman? No problem! Become the most handsome man? Of course! My physical form can be anything, even a tree or a rock. I prefer not having any kind of body, though. I am the invisible, and I see everything. Nothing can hide from me.

But I wasn't a God all my life. I was gifted on my sixteenth birthday. The greatest gift of all. It was year two thousand a.d. The beginning of a new millenium, start of my new life, my rise in power.

On that day I felt great power coursing through my veins, flooding my mind with secrets and knowledge, opening every door for me to pass through. I nearly went insane back there... But I didn't. It's because I can't anymore. I am always in control, no matter what. I cannot be ill, neither physically nor mentally.

I am out of life and death. Nothing can kill me. Trust me, I tried to kill myself countless times, just wondering if this is possible at all. Hanging, shooting, falling to death, drowning, and on and on. I cannot die. I even went as far as destroying the Solar System. I had to fix that big mess. Without any significant effort, I might add. Even without a snap of fingers.

So, I am the almighty being, capable of creating and destroying worlds at will, traveling faster than light can travel, killing the mightiest armies with just a thought, just the power of my own will.

Great amount of knowledge is stored within me. But what I don't know is who or what created the universe, what gifted me. It is out of my reach. I am able to change the universe, but I cannot destroy it, nor can I reach its border.

I can give gifts, I can cast a curse. It is within my power to make anyone almost as powerful as me, or drown them in the darkest, wickedest nightmares only sick minds are able to create. I can hurt more than anything the cruel world has in store.

Great writers always said that with a great power comes great responsibility. But that is false in my case. I have no responsibilities at all. I've lived long enough to know that there are no rules mortals have created that can restrict me. I create rules, and it is me who decides whether to obey them or not.

I've lived so many lives that I don't remember how many I did. A life of a hero, supervillain, thief, king, emperor, wizard, dragon, cat, roach... So many lives I completed like some kind of video game. But those were my games, and I am the administrator. I'm in full control of the situation and will always be.

But there are two things I can't change. First is my eyes. They're like glowing holes in my skull. I can change their color, yes, but they always remain the same. They look terrifying. That is the price for so much power I was gifted with.

You never look the same ever again after what I call "Godification". You are feared, you are hated, you are envied. You can never make a single friend, everyone is either trying to kill you or worship you. There is no one that will talk to you like you're one of them. You are alone even if billions support you.

The second flaw of mine is that I can't change minds. Yes, I can force anyone to do my bidding, or create a new sapient creature. But I cannot create minds. Those sapient creatures I create are emotionless and stupid as a newborn child.

I cannot make everyone happy, I cannot make everyone sad. People keep doing the same mistakes, having all the flaws that a common human does.

I tried to create the perfect land, the land of harmony. The land without wars, without crimes. And I failed. That wounds me deeply.

When I receiver those powers, I was seeking to make my own world better. Eventually, humanity destroyed itself and I was forced to start from the beginning. And I failed again. That's when I gave up. Just like that. There is no harmony, no peace. Pain and death is all that waits for us in the end. Everyone except me and whom I choose.

But I can control my emotions. No more will I seek something that cannot be reached. No longer will I drown in my uselessness in this matter. If harmony cannot be created, so be it. I can still do anything I want, like a child on a playground.

So, hundreds, perhaps thousands of years have passed since I tried to create the perfect land. I'd been living in complete isolation, observing the universe, looking for anything that might ignite my interest once again. These were long, boring years.

And recently I found something that I couldn't remove, something that I couldn't destroy or bend to my will. A world that another, unknown God has created. A world where I don't have full control.

Completely new world with endless possibilities. And there is one particular country I'd like to visit.

Equestria.