"RAINBOW! RAINBOW, LOOK AT THIS!" Twilight exclaimed, rushing down the hallway of Canterlot High to meet her Rainbow-haired friend. "RAINBOW, I GAINED ANOTHER FOLLOWER ON CRITTER!" She waved her phone in Rainbow's face excitedly.
Rainbow grabbed her friend's hand, snatched the phone away, and looked at the screen. "You...have two followers now."
"AWESOME, HUH?!" Twilight yelled. "And after I said Critter was stupid! Someone out there actually cares enough to follow me!"
Rainbow calmly handed her back the phone, then doubled over laughing. "That...is so...PATHETIC!"
"Huh?" Twilight looked down at her phone. "Why?"
"You wanna know why?" Rainbow took out her phone. "Here's why." She pulled up her home page on Critter and showed it to Twilight.
"Five thousand...eight hundred...and ninety-seven followers?" Twilight asked, getting visibly more depressed by the second.
"Yup," Rainbow said, grinning. "THAT is what you call awesome."
Twilight stared, mouth open, at her own phone. "But...I tried so hard to write interesting posts...why don't more people follow me?"
"Interesting posts, huh?" Rainbow crossed her arms and smirked. "Let's see just how 'interesting' these posts actually are."
"Um...alright," Twilight fiddled with her phone for a moment, then handed it to Rainbow.
//Ate refried beans for the first time last night. They were better than I thought they would be.//
//Going to see a movie tonight. I really hope it's good.//
//Studying for my algebra test now. Not that I think I'll fail, but better safe than sorry, right?//
//Did my hair in a new style last night. I told myself I was going to wear it like that at school, but I got scared because it was too bold, so I just wore it normally.//
//I checked out my first manga book from the library today. I was...certainly interesting.//
"Yeah, these are just sad," Rainbow said, giving the phone back to Twilight. "Who's even following you?"
"Um, these people," Twilight showed Rainbow her screen.
"One is a person called Absolute Cat_Face :3, and the other one is," Rainbow squinted. "...Fluttershy." She stared for a minute, then busted out laughing again.
"Stop laughing!" Twilight squeaked. "It's not funny!"
"It...really...is," Rainbow said through her manic laughter. "That is so...freaking pathetic...I just...can't...stop!"
"Well...what do your posts look like?!" Twilight asked in a voice that was a mixture of anger and annoyance.
Rainbow's laughter finally died down and, wiping her eyes, she pulled her phone back out of her pocket and showed it's screen to her friend.
//Getting the new Z-Cube game today! I'm so psyched! This game looks freaking AWESOME!!! Perfectly suits someone as awesome as me, huh?//
//LOVED that new rock song that came out yesterday! It's almost as awesome as I am!//
Aw, I'm up to 5,891 followers now...you guys really didn't have to do that! But I'm glad you did, because now you can brag that you're following the awesome ME! Ha ha...//
Twilight blinked. "Rainbow..."
"Yeah?"
"...Basically all of these posts have you boasting about yourself for no reason."
"Yeah, that's what you're SUPPOSED to do when you're as awesome as I am!" Rainbow put her phone away. "You let everyone know about it!"
"So...should I start doing that?" Twilight asked.
"Nah, you're not awesome enough," Rainbow said.
"How am I not awesome enough?!" Twilight yelled.
"Well, there's your clothes," Rainbow eyed Twilight's ensemble. "You look like a huge dork."
"But-"
"Then there's your hair," Rainbow said, looking at her hair. "That also makes you look like a huge dork. You need to rough it up a bit, like I do."
"Why-"
"Yeah, basically, just change those two things, and you'll be good." Rainbow frowned. "Oh, wait...we gotta do something about your personality, too..."
"There's nothing wrong with my personality!" Twilight yelled. She sighed. "You know what, Rainbow, thanks for your 'help', but I think I'm okay."
"...Yeah, sure, whatever," Rainbow said. "But seriously, try to glamorize your posts a bit more, okay? I think that could really help you out. Just look up words that people use nowadays to make themselves sound cool and go by that, alright?"
Twilight perked up. "You can do that?"
"You can do pretty much anything online," Rainbow said, a sleazy smile crossing her face. "Anything."
Twilight nodded slowly. "Right..."
"Girls! What are you doing out here? The bell for the next class rang ages ago!"
Rainbow looked past Twilight's shoulder and saw a girl with big teal eyes, long pink hair, and butter-yellow skin rushing towards them. "Hey, Fluttershy," Rainbow called.
"I was sent by the teacher to find you guys," Fluttershy said, panting slightly from having to jog around the school. "You might get in trouble, you know."
Rainbow stared at her for a moment, eyes half-lidded. "Hey, Fluttershy," she said softly. "I was wondering...how many followers do you have on Critter?"
Fluttershy tilted her head to the side for a moment. "Um...why do you ask that?"
"Just curious."
"Well, if you must know..." She tapped her chin. "Last time I checked, it was about 10,753...or something close to that."
Rainbow's jaw dropped open. "Ten thousand...seven hundred...fifty-three? You have that many followers?! HOW?!"
"Oh, um," Fluttershy played with her hair a little bit. "I think it's because I always post about what I'm doing with my animals...and such..."
"But...but...but..." Rainbow stuttered, slowly trailing off.
"Now you know what it feels like, Rainbow," Twilight said.
A couple hours after school ended, Rainbow plopped down on her bed and sighed. "Might as well see if Twilight took my advice," she muttered. She grabbed her phone off of the nightstand and pulled up Critter's homepage, then went to Twilight's latest posts. Sure enough, there was a new one:
//Yo, wazzup! I'm chillin' with my homies right now, and figured I would post something about how much of a zero-cool time I'm having! Foshizzle.//
Rainbow facepalmed. "Holy GOD."
Author's Note
I honestly have no idea where this came from.
...I am so sorry.
