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EPIC RAP BATTLES OF EQUESTRIAAAA!!
STARLIGHT GLIMMER!
VS.
SUNSET SHIMMERRRR!
BEGIN!
SG:
Well hello, Sunny darling, I’m so pleased to have you here
You’ll try to challenge me? Then I’ve nothing left to fear
I’m the mayor of Our Town, a city under my rule
And in the other corner there’s the bully of a little high school
A rap battle you say? I’ll knock you out of the park
What can you hope to throw at me besides your precious cutiemark?
SS:
Starlight Glimmer, was it? I guess you must be new
Give me one good reason why I should waste my breath on you
I’m a prodigy, intellectually, the best that there will ever be
The princess held me back ‘cause she was too afraid of me!
I don’t bring a white flag, I bring my foes to their knees
You’d be safer playing “house” with your Stepford ponies.
SG:
Heads high, ponies! Marching proud!
Such arrogance simply cannot be allowed
I stand hoof-to-hoof with Twilight, subdued the main six
Will you fight me with your gossip and petty Photoshop tricks?
I perfected Starswirl’s spell, doomed the world many times over,
And you’re still about as magic as a three-leafed clover
SS:
This is my coronation, not a hippie hoedown
Don’t forget it took all six MCs to try and bring me down
You were scarred as a filly? What a horrible cliché
You let life run you over, I just carved another way
Sirens, scientists, it doesn’t matter the lineup
I’m not even an Element and I can still pony-up!
SG:
No magic, no plans, as a villain, you’re all fails
As if it weren’t enough you hang out with Snips and Snails
Ruling over cliques? Chasing after boys?
Let’s be honest, you’re just a marketing device to sell more toys
I’m a powerful philosophy, all your strength is just physical
Just the cookie-cutter bully from High School Musical
SS:
The old me really was awful, but believe me when I say,
That my past does not define me, ‘cause my past is not today
You were kicked out of your own cult! How the mighty sure have fallen
Why don’t you crawl back to your precious commie senpai, Joseph Stalin?
I’ve broken down walls on both sides of the glass,
Meanwhile you’ve just got a fetish for every other pony’s –
SG:
QUIET!
Your arguments are as wavy as the bacon in your mane
I’m a premier and a finale, you’re just a side-plot royal pain!
I’m a redeemed villain now, so I’m sorry if you’re butthurt,
But your development’s as dry as my staff from the desert
SS:
And to you, Starlight Glimmer, what more can be said?
You were even more ignorant than those ponies that you led
I’m the epitome of clemency, you couldn’t get it through your head,
The only world where we’re all “equal” is where everypony’s dead…
WHO WON!?
WHO'S NEXT?
YOU DECIDE!
EPIC!
RAP BATTLES!
OF EQUESTRIAAA!!
