My Ugly Hearth's Warming Sweater
Sweaters. Itchy sweaters. Itchy sweaters with unsoftened wool. Pricking your back, making it feel like there's a hundred fleas on your fur, biting nonstop...
I've dealt with this for the longest time. I've been a good little rabbit for the past Hearth's Warmings, making sure I don't get coal in my stocking. I don't want to upset Fluttershy; she's the best owner any animal could ever have. Unfortunately, she can occasionally be the worst.
Every Hearth's Warming, she puts on me the itchiest, most smelly sweater in Equestria. It pricks my back, it makes my arms feel swollen and painful, and it feels three sizes too small! She's told me before that I've had this sweater since I was a little bunny. I must have never fussed about wearing such an ugly Hearth's Warming sweater! Those kinds of sweaters are the worst kinds of sweaters. With their mismatched hues, an abundance of shapes, cliche messages...
My sweater has got to be the ugliest, most gross Hearth's Warming sweater off the face of the world. I grimace and scowl every time she says: "Oh Angel bunny, it's about time for me to put on your sweater!" What a sadistic mare.
But all of these feelings about my owner, Hearth's Warming, and sweaters in general have changed since then. I have moved on from those negative feelings. Want me to tell you how I've had a change of heart for the holidays? Alright then, let's start from the very beginning of it all, on last Hearth's Warming Eve...
"Angel, oh Angel..." Fluttershy called out to me in her loving, maternal voice.
Aw nuts! I thought. It's Hearth's Warming Eve already?
For most of my life, I dreaded Hearth's Warming. It's not because I hated the festivities. No, not at all! I loved eating Fluttershy's specialty fruit salad on Hearth's Warming Eve with the rarest of fruits. It's because of that sweater she always put on me. I've tried telling her that it's too small, too ugly, too embarrassing...
I had to hide. Somewhere.
As I scurried around my owner's quaint, lovely cottage, I heard Harry the bear stomping loudly towards me. Now he's a pretty stupid fellow. He pretty much obeys Fluttershy's every command and he doesn't complain.
"Hello An-"
"Sssssssssssshhhhhhh!" I quietly told him, trying to get him to quiet down. "You bumbling idiot! This'll be a piece of cake for Fluttershy now!"
"What did I ever do, Angel?" Harry quietly told me, with confusion in his voice.
"You could get me discovered! I've been trying to hide from her this entire morning."
"What for? Did you get in tro- *Ohhhhhhhh!**" he realized why I was trying to hide from Fluttershy in the first place. "Is this all about that sweater?*"
I nodded in agreement to Harry's question. "Correct, Harry. Now maybe if you quit having me stay in the same place, she might not be able to find me for the entire day and she will just not even bother with putting that stupid sweater on me."
"Angel, my bunny buddy, I only see one flaw in your plan."
"A *flaw?** Impossi-*"
"Didn't you remember the party that Fluttershy is holding here tonight?" Harry reminded me. "Even if *Fluttershy's friends** can't find you, your friends probably will.*"
"But they're smarter than that! They'd keep me hidden."
"But what if you need to eat? What if you need a drink of water? What if you need to go-"
"That's quite enough, Harry!" I snapped, with flaming rage in my voice.
Suddenly, my rage turned into fear. What if Fluttershy heard me yelling?
"Uh, Angel, Fluttershy might've heard that..." Harry told me, reiterating my thoughts. "You should probably run now."
"Angel? Are you downstairs?"
Too late. My goose is cooked.
"Angel! There you are!" Fluttershy exclaimed.
I immediately started sprinting away from the direction from which her voice came from. Perhaps I could delay her. But my hopes were soon dashed when Fluttershy came downstairs. I knew that she probably knew where I was, but to delay her, I hid underneath a rug in front of a sofa. Fear echoed through my head and out of my ears.
"Harry?" I heard my owner ask. "Do you know where Angel is? I have his Hearth's Warming sweater here so I can put it on him."
Oh no! I thought in a panic. That bumbling idiot is going to reveal where I've hidden!
But there was no use in moving now. She was right there with that terrifying sweater of doom. I felt my heart drop to the lowest place it has ever been. She was going to find me.
"Hmm, I wonder why there's a huge lump underneath this rug. Did I leave something underneath it?"
I immediately started to circle underneath the rug to confuse Fluttershy. She started following me, and in no time, she flipped up the rug to find me curled up in a ball, shivering in fear.
"There you are Angel!" Fluttershy spoke in satisfaction.
There goes my dignity...
She held me in her hooves and grasped the sweater with her wings. I stared in horror at that hideous thing, that monster from my past. I didn't want that thing on my fur!
I turned to look at Harry, he himself wearing a foolish grin on his face. I mouthed, "Harry, why?" to him. He just didn't understand. He just didn't understand.
It was on me. The monster. Taking a hold of my fur, squeezing my arms and legs like they were stress balls. This "meeting" with the sweater was actually worse than the last few Hearth's Warmings I've had! It was smellier and tighter, making it look even more ugly on me. My face was sweating because that darn sweater was so tight on me!
"Helpppppppp..."
I called out for help, but no one came to me. It was at that time that I felt so helpless. I was going to just stand there with no comfort. The sweater was taking a hold of me. I crouched down and dragged my ears down, grimacing all the while as I felt how terrible the grip of the sweater was. The smell was getting worse too; it smelled like wet rabbit fur. I figured that the smell was probably caused by my sweating, amplifying the terrible smell of the sweater.
It even looked uglier than I remembered! Stitched on it were the words 'Happy Hearth's Warming' in big bright yellow letters, which was very jarring because the sweater was blue. There was a huge flag of the two princesses of Equestria in the very center of the sweater, set against a very bright white flash.
I began to cry and let all of my feelings out. It was at that point that Harry the bear, that furry doofus, came by me. I was all curled up on the floor, still pulling onto my ears. Tears came pouring out of my eyes like rain. Harry sat down next to me and put his paw on my head.
"What's eating you, Angel?" he asked me.
I was in no mood to respond to him, but I wanted comfort from someone. Guess it had to be him.
"Why?" I suddenly spat out. "You told her that I was in the living room! Why would you *do** that?!*"
"I didn't tell her *exactly** where you were...*"
"But she could *assume** where I was when she saw me underneath the rug!*" I screeched at him in between my sobs. He was not helping anything.
"She probably would've found you later..." Harry suggested.
"I could've escaped! You could've bought me more time! I could've..."
I was out of breath. In between my breathing, I realized that crying only made the sweater even more ugly. It started to smell even more wet. It also became really soggy, making it feel like I was in some kind of shell that was beginning to harden. I let go of my ears and slammed my face to the floor. I couldn't look at it anymore. I couldn't look at her.
Fluttershy.
"It's all her fault!" I suddenly screamed. "She does this to me every single Hearth's Warming! I've had enough of this nonsense!"
Harry was taken aback by my rage. "What're you gonna do about it?"
I stood up and looked him in the eye. "Tonight at the Hearth's Warming party, me and my friends are going to get rid of my sweater!"
I could tell that Harry liked my plan because he had this huge, sinister grin. "You like taking risks, don't you Angel?"
It's been five hours. Pain and suffering have taunted me throughout those long, long hours. But tonight, I will get back at Fluttershy. I smiled at my plan; soon that sweater will be gone! I cackled manically as I thought of that sweater of mine burning into scraps until all that remained was a small pile of ash.
"It'll be gone!" I cackled. "All gone!"
Suddenly, Fluttershy came up to me with one of those smiles. Y'know, the ones in which you crinkle up your face and close your eyes in happiness? Yeah; it was one of those smiles.
"My friends are coming here soon!" she exclaimed.
She turned to look at me. Her smile then faded into a serious line and she turned to look at me with her teal-green eyes. I could tell that she was about to tell me something serious.
"Now Angel," Fluttershy began with a serious tone, "I want you to be on your best behavior tonight. I want no goofing around and you acting all cynical around my friends. Perhaps your friends will keep you company tonight. Understand?"
I nodded. "Yes Fluttershy, I will be on my best behavior tonight."
Just as I finished speaking, Fluttershy and I heard a chorus of knocks on the cottage door.
"That must be them!" Fluttershy gasped.
She bolted towards the door and opened it. Just like I had expected, all five of Fluttershy's friends were on the doorstep. They each had their pets with them, or as I like to call them, my friends.
"Hello Fluttershy!" Twilight Sparkle greeted. "I can't wait to start the party!"
Pinkie Pie seemed giddier than ever. "I'm so excited! Tomorrow, when I wake up, there will be-"
"We understand, Pinkie," Rainbow Dash replied. "Did you think we didn't know about how much you love Hearth's Warming and parties?"
"I know that you all know-"
"How about we just stop talkin' about that nonsense and just enjoy ourselves tonight?" Applejack interrupted.
"Exactly, Applejack," replied Rarity.
"I also agree with Applejack. After all, I only want everypony here to have fun tonight and bond with each other," Fluttershy told her friends, not wanting them to argue all night over something stupid.
After everyone came inside, my friends rushed in front of their owners and straight up to me.
"You sure love that sweater, don't you?" Owlowiscious sarcastically spoke.
"Yeah, totally," I replied, getting in on his joke. "It's the best thing I've ever worn."
"I know that you two are being sarcastic about this matter. That thing is absolutely *hideous!***" Opalescence remarked.
"Why must pets be put through such torture?" Gummy spoke, with a serious tone. "Put through so much pain..."
Suddenly, Fluttershy came up to us. "It's time for the Hearth's Warming Eve dinner!"
There was an excited stirring in the room as everyone began cheering at the thought of eating Fluttershy's food...both Fluttershy's friends and us.
"However..." Fluttershy's tone of voice took a negative shift. "It will take me a while to prepare it because there's so many of you here. I will remind everypony when dinner's ready, okay?"
Everyone nodded their heads in confirmation. Afterwards, Winona lowered her head in sadness.
"Oh jeez! Such a shame! I was waiting to have that tasty peppermint bone for a little snack..."
"Lighten up a bit!" Tank spoke in a cheerful tone, trying to cheer Winona up. "I only have a few more days left before I start hibernating, so the recent announcement didn't really even hurt my feelings! Besides, I've waited a while to have a meal before. It takes Rainbow Dash a while to prepare me my food sometimes."
I didn't like the fact that everyone's minds were on food right now. They needed to help me remove my sweater! I stood up a little more, drawing down my eyebrows and looking everyone in the eye. As Fluttershy's friends went into the dining room, I crossed my arms as I began to speak in a serious tone:
"Listen up, everyone! I have a sweater to remove here! Now, this sweater is a pain in my fluffy butt to remove, so it definitely will take more than one of you to help remove it. After it's off, we are going to sneak past Fluttershy and her friends and throw this mediocre sweater into her fireplace! Now who's with me?"
The entire room grew silent; not a single friend of mine opened their mouths to reply to me.
"Anyone with me?"
A choir of "Yeah, I guess,"s rose up from my group of friends in response. I had gathered my team and I was ready.
Ready to get rid of that monster of a sweater.
I gathered my motley crew of friends and quietly tiptoed upstairs with them, making sure not to make too much sound to get noticed by Fluttershy.
"Are you sure this is a good idea?" asked a nervous Winona. "I mean, I don't want to upset anyone, especially Applejack or Fluttershy..."
"Come on!" I countered. "I've been waiting for too long. If I don't get rid of this sweater *this year*, I have to wait all the way until next year!"
Winona looked at the ground. "I guess I see your point..."
"Let's just stop fighting and get this over with," suggested Gummy.
I agreed with him. All of this nonsense was just pointless. I just wanted to focus on getting rid of that darn sweater! Once we finally got upstairs, I motioned everyone to go into Fluttershy's room and go into her closet.
"What exactly are we doing *here?**" a confused Tank asked. "I mean, this place is-*"
"Come on! I go in here *all** the time," I told him, trying to reassure him. "Now let's not dawdle here...*"
"So, we have to try to take off your sweater now?" Opal inquired.
I nodded, trying to not make her too confused. Immediately, all of my friends tried to take off that tight, smelly, revolting sweater off of me. Gummy tried his hardest, but he soon passed out from the horrible smell. His claws made small scratches in my sweater, but I didn't care much.
"It's too much for me..." he groaned.
Winona was next; she tried her hardest with those stubby little paws of hers, but she was often losing her grip. Her claws also often got caught in the little threads that were still holding together that sweater of mine. She gave up on the grim task; at least she didn't pass out like Gummy did! I bet she was relieved.
Opal then attempted to take off that sweater. In the process, she managed to rip a huge hole in the back of the sweater!
"Oh my! I think I scratched too deeply..." she meekly stated.
"Scratched too deeply?! *You could've put a huge scratch in my back!** Please try to be more careful!*" I sneered at her.
Owlowiscious then tried to help me out. Sadly, he only ended up putting feathers in my mouth. Half the time I was sputtering and spitting out his feathers! He wasn't that much help, but I still appreciate his efforts.
Now Tank actually made an effort here! Using his tiny head, he gently slid his head underneath the sweater.
"Be careful down there, buddy!" I warned him with a stern voice; I didn't want Tank's efforts to end up like Opal's.
As Tank was trying to take off the sweater, I could feel it stretching off of me. Every time it stretched off my body, for just a moment, it let out its huge cloud of stench that usually only its wearer could smell. Usually bystanders would be smelling a little bit of it, but the cloud of stench that sweater temporarily let out made the usual wafts of stink smell like a candle!
Finally, it was over with. Tank's last time of putting his head into the space between the sweater and my body, pulling it in an upward direction...
He got the sweater off. With his enormous strength. I couldn't believe it. My friends couldn't believe it either! Luckily Gummy woke up just in time to see the great progress we've made in the plan to get rid of my ugly sweater.
"Great scurry! It's off! Who could've made such a huge effort to remove the sweater?!"
"That would be me," Tank responded proudly. "I just lifted my head up inside the sweater and it came right off!"
I was satisfied so far with this plan. Soon, this sweater will be burning to ashes!
"Now, all we gotta do is toss this pile of nasty cloth into Fluttershy's fireplace and watch 'er burn!**" I snickered.
But Owlowiscious wanted us to be a bit more cautious. "Remember Angel. By this time, Fluttershy's probably almost done with cooking the Hearth's Warming Eve meal. We should be more wary of our surroundings. I just don't want us to get caught."
"I'm with you, Owlowiscious," Winona agreed, "who knows what would happen if Fluttershy were to notice us just casually strutting around near the fireplace?"
"Okay everyone. Let's just all shut our mouths and quietly sneak down to the fireplace!" I told everyone in a serious tone so I could get my point across more easily.
Everyone came out of the closet and quietly tiptoed downstairs. Instantly, that same dread that hit my heart earlier that day came back.
Fluttershy had finished cooking.
"Dinner's ready, everypony!" Fluttershy called out.
"Yay!" Pinkie Pie exclaimed. "I can't wait to have that tasty apple pie Applejack brought here!"
"The best is that it's farm fresh," Applejack added.
I quickly turned to everyone on the tenth step of the stairs.
"Okay everyone," I quietly told them, "we've got one shot at this. As soon as their backs are turned, we're going to rush down the stairs as fast as we can, like on Hearth's Warming Day, and toss that sweater into the embers!"
Everyone nodded in confirmation. They clearly got the point I was trying to get across to them.
I turned back to the direction facing Fluttershy and her friends around the dinner table. I saw Rarity carefully levitating all of the plates onto the table and Rainbow Dash bringing all of the food to that same table. I turned back to my friends and gave them the signal to go downstairs. Everyone finally seemed distracted.
We all made a mad dash down the stairs, running as fast as we could, no wait, like we were running on lava. The only thought on my mind at that time was running towards that fireplace. It was coming closer and closer towards us. Finally, we reached that fireplace, that glowing fireplace...
Heads turned to face us.
They saw us.
Rarity was the first to react. "Opal, darling, what are you doing? Are you trying to burn Angel's sweater? He loves that sweater very much!"
No I don't... I thought.
"Winona! I never thought you'd sink this low!" Applejack sternly yelled.
"Gummy? Why would you do this?" Pinkie Pie simply gasped.
"Tank! This betrayal felt like a blow to my heart! How could you do this to me?" Rainbow Dash cried out.
"Owlowiscious!" Twilight Sparkle shouted, seeming like she was the angriest one of all. "I taught you to value friendship, and to do this to Angel? It's almost like you sank so low, like you just tossed all of my lessons out the-"
"Stop!" Fluttershy yelled.
It's like it came out of nowhere... My friends and I exchanged confused looks. We all knew that Fluttershy had the patience of a frog and the calmness of a crane, but she only blows up like that occasionally, when something really sets her off.
"Listen up!" Fluttershy began. "I don't want everypony to fly into a rage tonight, especially since tonight is Hearth's Warming Eve. I really don't like seeing anypony mad, especially at their pets. Even though we must give a stern talking to them once in a while, you just have to hold it back a little, since tonight is a magical night. We celebrate when the three pony tribes put their differences aside and united together...remembering what a little bit of anger and bitter hatred could do at its worst. So, I just advise you all to stop. Instead, I would like to talk with the pets one on one, to see what exactly is going on here."
She paused for a bit, looking around the room.
"I would like everypony to leave the dining room for just a moment, before we eat dinner."
All of Fluttershy's friends left to go into the living room, understanding the current situation. Fluttershy then turned to us. I was still clutching that messy, smelly sweater of mine, a nervous look on my face. My smile looked as fake as Opal's collar. Sweat was pouring down every square inch of my body.
"Now, what exactly is going on here that I'm not aware of?" Fluttershy inquired with a soft smile on her lips.
"Well," I began, "I got tired of that sweater you put on me year after year. You never made me a new one; you just kept on putting on this old ratty piece of clothing on my body. It was beginning to smell and shrink on me."
"Probably because I made it for you when you were just a little bunny," Fluttershy replied.
"You could've just made him a new one for Pete's sake!" Opal replied.
"You don't understand," Fluttershy explained. "I just didn't have enough time to do so."
"So, I concocted a plan from the ground up to get rid of this sweater of mine," I explained to her. "I planned to have my friends help take off the sweater, and once it was off, we were, um..."
I paused because I was so nervous and embarrassed.
"...going to throw it in your fireplace."
I expected Fluttershy to give me the Stare. I expected her to blow up at me. Instead...
...I got forgiveness from her.
"I understand how it is for you," she began with a forgiving tone. "Years and years of torment from that sweater, I understand. I just wish that I talked to you more about this. I just didn't have enough time..."
She looked at the ground, away from my face.
"...and now I'm the bad one."
I looked back at Fluttershy, my eyes wide with confusion. "Come on, Fluttershy! It's not *all** your fault! It was sort of my fault for not telling you about all of this, so we both went wrong.*"
Fluttershy then gave another soft smile, tears falling from her eyes and onto her cheeks. "I understand now."
She paused for a second.
"Go ahead Angel, I don't care. Toss it into the fire. Burn the past so you can move into the future."
We were all so shocked! Fluttershy of all ponies letting me burn something?
"...okay then. I'll do it."
I gently tossed the sweater into the fire, almost reluctantly. I watched it burn before my eyes, my literal Hearth's Warming past burning into ashes. Threads were unraveling, turning orange, burning into the embers...
Soon there was nothing left but a pile of gray ash. I turned back to Fluttershy.
"I burned it, Fluttershy."
I paused for a second, thinking about something. Hmm, she'll love this idea...
"How about you make new sweaters for all of us? This time, however, you make them a little larger than our bodies so we have room to grow into them. Also, please don't make them look as ugly, if you can do that for us. Erm, all of us."
All of my friends were surprised. They all turned towards me in response to my brave decision.
"But Angel," Opal began, "I thought you-"
"I'm fine with it now," I interrupted. "I've had a change of heart. After seeing all of our owners in pain, especially mine, I want to offer my apology in the form of new cozy sweaters."
"Sounds good to me, Angel!" replied Fluttershy with a smile. "I'll go call everypony else back into the dining room so we can have dinner."
Fluttershy left and went into the living room to get everyone back into the dining room. My friends and I were still shaken up by all of this, but I think I made the right decision. By compromising and trading one ugly sweater for six brand new ones, I think this was a win-win for everyone.
I think I'll be a little less cynical now.
