Twilight Masturbates ... Kinda

by RarityEQM

Rating: mature
Tags: Comedy, Sex, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1517

This is a story about Twilight masturbating

Twilight masturbates.

You can blame The Abyss for this.

Published 2015-12-16 03:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-16 03:50:01 UTC

Twilight Time

Twilight drew in a deep breath and let it out with a sullen, tired sigh. It was done. It was all done. The meeting for the Peaceful Equestria And Countries Everywhere talk was finally over. FINALLY! After nearly a month of planning and preparation, policies and the political ponies, the peace talks had finally been finished. Twilight, who was representing Equestira along with the other princesses was setting everything up. Had set everything up. Had been working overtime as a secretary, translator, tour guide and mediator. Had been awake for six straight days. Oh yes. Had been. She slumped against the door to her room with a quiet whine. It was finally over. And now, more than ever, Twilight wanted to sleep. She wanted to slip under her nice warm blankets, rest her head against the pillow and let sleep do the rest.

But before that, she was going to masturbate.

The little purple unicorn blushed warmly, as she slipped under the covers of her bed and slowly got comfortable. This, this is what she needed. 'Twilight Time' to take care of her own personal needs. And she was a very needy mare. It had been nearly months since she'd managed any sort of time to herself, and with some of the stallions that were at the meetings...mmm...those Crystal stallions, ruggedly handsome, big broad chests, powerful legs, muscular buttocks....mmmmm.

She squeezed her thighs together, reveling in the growing arousal that was tingling through her frame. She loved it! She loved working herself up into a quivering, trembling frenzy of lust, until she couldn't take anymore and she HAD to have something inside of her. She felt like that now, but the hooves that slowly slipped down between her thighs weren't going to cut it. No, she needed a nice hard girlgasm to send her right off to sleep, and she didn't know of any better way to get one, than the 'Fillybuster.'

Oh yes, the Fillybuster was her all time favorite toy. A thick, pink, vibrating dildo that required more than just a little lube to slip into her delicate tunnel. It stretched, and it burned and oh how she was sore in the morning, but nothing in the world felt as good as the Fillybuster. Still blushing, she poked her head over the side of her bed and magicked the bottom drawer of her dresser open. She didn't need to see to find exactly what she was looking for. She knew where it was, and more importantly, where she was going to put it.

Grasping the toy in her mystic aura, she drew it over to the bed to look it over. Every time she saw it, she was blown away by its proportions. It was dinosaur sized really, if Twilight had to imagine what a Tyrannosaurus Rex's penis looked like (which would make it the third time today). It was the number one cause of accidents in the bedroom. It was illegal in three provinces and classified as a weapon in more than six. Oh yes, a weapon of ass destruction. She giggled at her own stupid joke and settled down in her bed, the back of her head cradled by her soft, sweetly scented pillows. She felt more relaxed than ever and gave a lazy moan as she flicked the vibrator on. Just a little tease around her thighs. She was already wildly aroused, but going slow would just make thin-

KNOCK
KNOCK
KNOCK

"Twilight? Are ya in there? I'm back from the comic book shop!" a voice called out from behind her door. Twilight squeezed her eyes shut and drew in a cleansing breath. It's fine. It's alright. Just relax...

"T-That's just super duper, Spike...I'm just takin' a nap, so, um, thank you." Twilight called out, eagerly waiting until she heard the dragon's steps leading away from the door.

"Whats that weird noise?" Asked the dragon. Oh, goodness, bless his curious little heart! Twilight could feel her teeth starting to grind together.

"Thaaaaaaaaats just my hair dryer!" she answered. Goawaygoawaygoawaygoawaygoaway.

"...........Your hair dryer makes a sound like a chainsaw?"

"I'M SLEEPING SPIKE!" Twilight replied. Loudly. Much to loudly for someone who was sleeping quietly. Viciously. That's the word Spike would have used. Or monstrously. That was a good one too. He hopped back down the stairs.

Twilight exhaled and drew in another breath. Out with the bad air, in with the good. Oooookaaaay. She was calm again. She flicked the vibrator back on and closed her eyes. Slowly, she drew it closer and closer to the sweet little junction between her thighs.

KNOCK
KNOCK
KNOCK

Twilight froze; her ears perked, her body still. She had been laying on her side, facing away from the balcony and towards the door, where Spike had been. Although the knock hadn't come from the door. Slowly, the unicorn twisted around in her bed, making sure to keep the covers firmly over her frame, and she stared at the balcony. Derpy stared back and tossed her a sweet carefree smile.

"PACK-CAGE DELIVERY!" came her muffled voice from out on the balcony. Twilight's ears drooped in disbelief. This could not be happening. "Hey Twilight! I got that new Prancy Drew novel you wanted! I know you've had some trouble getting it delivered, so I bought it over perso-"

"THATSGREATDERPYLEAVEITOUTSIDEILLGRABITLATERBYE!" Twilight barked at the window. Derpy held up a little clipboard and quill, and gave Twilight a pleading look. Of all the times to get a delivery. Hiding the Fillybuster under the blankets, Twilight slowly climbed out of bed, and walked to the balcony doors. She opened them, reached out, scribbled on Derpy's clipboard and quickly yanked the book inside.

"Hey do you wanna hang out lat-" She tried to ask before Twilight cut her off with a dazzling smile and high pitched scream.

"AAAAAAAAAHH! HAHAHAHA! HA! NO! I mean, I've got studying to do, some other time! See you later!" Twilight shouted from the other side of the glass and drew the curtains shut. Gods above she was tired. The moment she hit her climax she'd be out cold. She knew that for a fact, she just needed to get there. With another gentle sigh and wriggling back down into the bed to find her comfort spot again, Twilight flicked the vibrator back on an-

"Twiiiilight! Trixie is back in town and she's asking for you! I think she wants to duel again!" Spike's voice called out from downstairs.

"I CANNOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I DO NOT CARE SPIKE!" screamed Twilight in return. Silence surrounded her again, and the library seemed quiet, like it were holding its breath waiting for something new to happen. She was so close- either to exploding like a volcano in a wonderful way or in a terrible way, she wasn't sure, but she knew she was close. All she needed was just a little more time. Just a little. She flicked the vibrator back on and closed her eyes.

"VRRRRRRRRRRRRr-rrrrrrr-rr-r....rrrr....rrr......" choked Fillybuster, as it lay sputtering and dying in her hooves.

Batteries. It ran out of batteries. No. NO. NO!!! IT WASN'T FAIR!!! IT WASN'T FAIR IT WASN'T FAIR IT WAS NOT FAIR!! Sitting up suddenly with a snarling burst of anger, Twilight yanked the dildo out from between her legs and threw it as hard as she possibly could in a fit of sexual fury.

Outside, Trixie glared up at the tree house and the window of Twilight's room. She narrowed her eyes. She would not be denied! Once and for all she would show the world who was the best magician! TRIXIE! She scanned the ground and found a tiny pebble, which she tossed up to Twilight's window to get her attention. Tink.

"COME OUT HERE AND FACE ME!! TRIXIE DEMANDS SATISFACTION!! DO YOU FEAR ME TWILIGHT SPAR-" Trixie screamed as a giant pink dildo exploded out of the balcony window and tumbled through the air, landing next to her with a tremendous thud.

"..." Said Trixie.

"Vrrr." whispered Fillybuster with the last of its life, writhing on the ground, like a wounded bird.

"Trixie...Trixie will come back later...Trixie can see that you are... busy. " Trixie sputtered taking a step back from the tree with a quiet whimper.

Twilight groaned, rubbing her hooves over her eyes. Why couldn't the universe just leave her alone for five minutes?! Why why why why WHY?! If she had to deal with one more interruption today, just one more today...

"Twilight?! Princess Celestia just sent a message! She needs you to come back to Canterlot to talk about the meeting reports! She also said she's going to need you in on Saturday." called Spike from downstairs.

The explosion of profanity that rocked the tree house could be heard for miles.

Author's Note

You didn't think Lady Rarity would copy a trending meme without putting her own spin on things did you? ;) Also because tossing a tiny pebble up to a window only to have a massive dildo fly out makes me giggle everytime I think about it.