Ponies, Buck Yeah!

by DR-Fluffy

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Alternate Universe, Human
Length: 3429

Equestria Daily conducts interviews with human soldiers as they tell the story of how the combined forces of both human and ponies held off an invading army

Equestria Daily conducts interviews with human soldiers as they tell the story of how the combined forces of both Equestria and the Human Empire held off an invading arachnoid army.
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I got the idea for this story after reading a lot of HFY stories, my favorite ones were with aliens talking about human being awesome. This is the pony version of that.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-14 01:53:53 UTC

On The Third Day Look To The East

Equestria Daily

The Week of Tartarus is what it’s been called, as word of an arachnoid attack on human outpost near the Equestrian border, spreads like wildfire throughout Equestria and the Human Empire. Ponies and Human are amazed that the combined forces of the two countries were able to hold off the arachnoid army for a week until help arrived. But now Equestria Daily has been given permission to interview some of the key personnel who were present at the siege.

Donovan

Builder Company

5th Rank Builder

“I’m sitting here with 5th rank Builder Donovan of the Human Empire,” the interviewer began. “Donovan, tells us in your own words about the arachnoid attack.”

“I’ll tell you what I know not that it’s much. But first in order to understand what happened you need to know a bit about Fort Riveguard. From what I hear the fort was built near the Equestrian border as an attempt to intimidate the ponies for better trade rights. Whether that’s true or not you’re have to ask someone else, anyway, even after it was built it was never meant to have more than a token defense. I mean why bother, think about it, when was the last time you heard of ponies attacking other countries…exactly never. They only fight defense wars. Ok civil wars don’t count, point being Fort Riveguard was never meant to be a real stronghold.

So over the years, as you can imagine, the fort received very little funding for maintenance, and man did though walls suffer for it. So when Emperor Theodorick took the throne, long may he reign, he ordered all forts across the empire to be bought up to standard and fully garrisoned. I can only guess this was to show the other races that the empire was still strong.

So I get shipped off with the rest of Builders in my company”

“Excuse me for interrupting,” the interviewer cut in. “But for those who are unaware could you tell us what the role of a builder is?”

“I forgot you ponies aren’t familiar with how our military is structured, this is just a basic overview so bare with me. Our military is split into three groups the warriors, who are further divided based on specialties, they make up the bulk of our forces. Then there's the Casters, who I guess are the human version of you unicorns, they take a lot longer to train so we have fewer of them to spread around. And then you have us Builders we're the ones who built the forts that dot the Empire, we’re also the ones who built just about anything the military needs; we’re not warriors but we are trained to fight.

So as I said, we shipped out alone with three thousand others who were to garrison the fort. And we had to somehow figure out how to repair a wall with over three decades of neglect. It was around the third day when it happened. A dozen builders and me were outside the eastern walls with a few of the initiate Casters. The wall in that area had started sinking and Master Builder Kanen wanted to see if we could use the casters to help raise it. I was taking a few measurements to see where to start, when I heard the cries.

At least twenty or more of these red and green eight legged giant spiders, arachnoids I think you called them, the smallest of them was half my size. They charged out of the forest right at us with a screeching battle cry. Never been happier to have my standard issue short sword; I managed to kill a few before one get me with a spear to the back, luckily it didn’t hit a vital spot. I remembered a caster fried a group that surrounded me, I’m glad I passed out after that because that was one awful stench. I hope that guy got out of there I really owe him one.

I was out for a few days after that and wasn’t in much of the fighting so that’s about all I can say.”

“Think you Donovan, you have been more than helpful,” The interviewer said.

***

Desmond Presley

Steel Flame Brigade

Paladin

“Let me just start off by staying ponies are crazy,” Desmond began. “Now I’ve seen some crazy stuff before, like when this scrawny kid under my command bare-knuckle boxed a minotaur  twice his size into submission, but we humans are built for crazy. I have dogs more intimidating, and bigger, than ponies. And yet this one earth pony charges a King-class crawler, now a King-class is three times the size of me with mandibles that could take my head clean off. And this guy still tackles it with nothing but a blade in his mouth and somehow kills the thing.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. The crawlers couldn’t have pick a more perfect time to attack us, unless we planned the attack for them. We were still settling in; most of builders were out trying to fix the gaping hole on the northern wall, which just so happened to be the side the bulk of their forces attacked. To top things off we only had a hand full of Knightmagi Casters and they were out setting up wards at the time, ironically to warn of attacks, they were caught off guard and none of them made it back. Casters are powerful, Knightmagi ever more so, but without time to scribe their runes their all but defenseless.

Fortunately, one of the initiate casters was able to fill the hole with an ice wall; it at least kept them from overrunning us. We won the day but at great cost. We hadn’t even finished collecting our dead when we head the next wave; they shook the trees with their approach. It was night by this point but we could still see their numbers, at least ten times those of the last attack, we had little change there was simply too many. When they attacked, we fought like demons, for every one of us that fail ten of those hairy bastards were struck down, but with those number it was hopeless.

Or so we thought at the time; it was about then the ponies came charging in from the east, like a golden beacon of light from the Maker herself, they crashed into the side of the crawler army sending them into disarray. It’s still amazes me how the sight of reinforcements can relight the spark of hope in you. The ponies cut a path through the crawler lines heading straight for the fort gates. Casters took to the walls with the archers and began raining down fire, ice or any other spell they had. Killing anything that got in-between the ponies and the gates, their commander lead the charge, Steadfast, he was an earth pony I believe. He smashed through frozen crawler remains without slowing. I was one of the archers at the time and had a good view has any crawler we missed was shot down by one of their unicorns or cut apart by Steadfast himself, never thought a mouth blade could be so effective. when they had finally made it inside Steadfast’s white coat had been dyed a nasty purple. The crawlers retreated soon after that, which brought the first day in the week of Tartarus to a close.

When I asked Steadfast why he helped us he told me ‘we were just passing by and thought we’d show you human how to fight.’ Did I mention the ponies are crazy?

***

Cindera

4th Caster Core

Initiate Caster

“You’ve been awfully quiet miss Cindera,” said the Interviewer.

“Everything that happened is in the official report, I see no reason for multiple reports, that is simply inefficient.”

The Interviewer cleared his throat. “Yes that may be so but ponies wish to hear it directly from the source.

“Very well, I cannot leave until I give a statement anyway. I have not read over the report so you will have to forgive me if I repeat the same information,” Cindera said. “Before the arachnoid attacks I view ponies like most other humans I suppose, a lesser race too pacifistic to be a threat, only useful for trading. but as I spent time around the unicorns they slowly began to impress me. For two days following the initial attack the arachnoids sent small groups, of a hundred or so, to attack different sections of the fort testing for weak spots.

I was working with a unicorn at the time, and was in the middle of casting Nature's Oath, it grows magical vines on the outside of the wall, reinforcing them but it was a slow and draining task. Then a lone arachnoid flew over the wall. I saw that its trajectory would bring it right next to me and my unicorn ally; I broke off my spell and switched over to an offensive spell. I had many of those inscribed into my flesh but sending my magic from one rune to another took time. But this unicorn with simple ease turned to the crawler in mid air and fired a piercing blast of magic cutting through the crawler, it was dead on impact. The unicorn simply returned to her work as easy as she had switched spells. It was a cold precision that I had not seen since my time at the academy, I could not help but to smile.

We had been sending the thestrals out at night on scouting runs, their night vision made them perfect for the job. So when the arachnoids started thinking on the fourth day and attacked both the northern and eastern walls we were ready. The unicorns helped us developed a bomb of sorts, it was a stone plate with a single rune carved into it, the unicorns charged it with magic so the moment the plate breaks it would release a magical explosion. We covered the battlefield with them, an aura of blue lite the night and it was quiet beautiful. Although that did not stop all of them, the pegasi and thestrals kept anymore from catapulting over the walls. For six hours, they threw themselves at our walls and for six hours we pushed them back, and like the first attack when day began to rise they retreated back into the forest.

By the fifth day, we were exhausted most of us were running on a few hours of sleep. And do to our high losses the ponies had to take up the slack, I had been casting spells so much my skin had a constant tingling. I said ponies had started to impress me but this was the day when that truly had meaning. Something none of us knew at the time was that to foundation of the fort had not been properly reinforced in its construction, the crawlers, in one of their few clears moves, tunneled under the fort. The other casters and I split our time between helping repair the walls and making more ‘Plate Mines’ has they had come to be called. I was with my unit in the bailey near the main gates, when they broke through. Nearly a yard from me the ground collapsed in on itself and out poured ten king-class arachnoids, and they were fast.

I thought I would meet my end there until a barrier wrapped itself around us, for a moment all I could do was stare at this unicorn who was straining from the repeated blows the crawler landed on the barrier. I suppose I just never questioned it until that moment but this pony was risking his life to save humans. The other crawlers had been intercepted by the knights and ponies in the area, we charged our spells as fast as we could channel the magic through and bodies.

The barrier shattered and…I cannot say this truly happened; looking back it’s hard to tell what detail where real and what was just in my mind. But this unicorn, which I later learned was named Mystic Winds, looked back at us and smiled, then drew his sword and attacked the crawler. It was not some poetic attack a bard may write about, Mystic Winds cut one of the crawler’s eyes before being impaled himself. But he bought us the time we needed; we burned those crawlers until not even ashes remained!

I’m sorry but I cannot speak of this anymore.”

“One question before you go,” the Interviewer asked. “You said at the start you used to view ponies as a lesser race, how do you view them now?”

“I thought that was clear, they are friends.”

***

Severin Mason

Fort Riveguard Commander

Lord General

“I was stationed at the fort around two years ago, punishment for pissing off one of noble family, and until the arachnoid attacked the most we had to deal with was animals stealing our food. We were completely cut off neither us nor the ponies has anyway to send a massage, so over the next several days they attacked and we would drive them back. Over and over we played this dance, the arachnoids would occasionally try something new but it was just different steps in the same dance.

The morning of the sixth day the arachnoids started lobbing boulders at us from somewhere in the forest. The forest was too thick, there would be no possible way for them to bring in outside siege weapons, so they either build some within or where throwing the rocks themselves. I put every caster and unicorn on the wall, they diverted or slowed the boulders as they came in. But the fort walls just couldn’t take anymore and by nightfall the northern wall was all but gone, we through everything we could find at that breach forming a makeshift barricade. The casters did their best filling in the hole with ice walls and vines, but they were at their limits a few had already passed out from exhaustion, and the unicorns weren’t fairing much better. When the arachnoid army returned the morning of the seventh day I knew that barricade wouldn’t hold. There was tens of thousands of them, and right in the center towering over the others, and looking more like an armored black beetle then a spider, was an Archqueen-class arachnoid. They had come for the kill.

I was about to order a retreat into the keep to make our final stand, when Guard Captain Steadfast suggested we prioritize killing the Archqueen. He had observed whenever a high class arachnoid was killed all those under its command would panic and scatter. We were nearly out of arrows and it was too far for are casters to hit it, but we did have a small stockpile of plate mines. A plan was quickly formed; a few builders rigged some boxes to detonate the plate mines inside with just the pull of a cord. Three pegasi volunteered to circle around and drop mines on the Archqueen, while the fort acted as a decoy.

The arachnoids grouped themselves around the Archqueen, like a shield of meat, the smaller ones through themselves on any plate mines still left in the field. What few arrows we had left we sent into the horde, it was impossible to miss. I ordered ever caster able to stand on the walls and told them to be as imposing as possible, for a few this worked too well and were hit by a thrown spear. When the first wave hit, the wall of ice cracked; even with barrier spells ice is just no substitute for stone.

It was about that time our delivery team was in place. Iron Spear, Gentle Breeze, and Thunderblast where their names. Iron and Gentle dove in first they nearly reached the Archqueen when the arachnoids took notice and their spears filled the sky. Gentle Breeze was hit almost immediately, when he hit the ground his mines went off talking out a chunk of the army in a blue explosion. It cleared the way long enough for Iron Spear; he pulled the strap on the box and dropped it over the Archqueen. Iron Spear barely got out of range when the blast went off.

I’ll be damned if that thing wasn’t still alive! Blue flames covered its back it was screaming in a deep roar and thrashing around, but I think it was more mad than hurt. That’s when Thunderblast started his run; the arachnoids had all but forgotten about the fort focusing solely on Thunderblast. they through every spear they had, but Thunderblast just danced around them weaving in and out. A few of the larger arachnoids started throwing the smaller one at him but they could never reach his height, after all the sky is the domain of the pegasi, or so they say.

Before they left I heard one of them ask Guard Captain Steadfast where the best place to plant the bomb at was, the Guard Captain just said ‘down its throat.’ This guy clearly took that seriously. He flew straight into the gaping maw of the Archqueen, when its jaws clamped down we thought we had lost it all, but moments later its head exploded. What was left of the corpse fell to the ground still covered in blue fire, you could smell the cooking meat from the walls. The remaining army turn tail and ran at that point, I bet they could hear our cries of victory all the way.

Not long after that a relief force from both Equestria and the Empire showed up, apparently the Equestrian princesses had been looking for their missing brigade that whole time. And, from what I have been told, it was around the fifth day of the siege before the Empire took notice and another two days to reach us.

***

Steadfast

Royal Guard

Caption of the Guard

“First off I’m only here because the Princesses think this will help improve relations with the humans, not to help sell your tabloid.”

“I assure you Equestria Daily is a respectable paper,” said the Interviewer.

“Sure it is.”

“Now Steadfast,” the Interviewer started. “Ponies of Equestria want to know why you willingly sacrificed twelve hundred pony lives to save a single human outpost?”

“The humans lost over two thousand! The arachnoids numbered in the tens of thousands, and yes we lose twelve hundred good ponies. But not a single one of them were sacrificed! We were setting up for the war games my brigade was the only one to have arrived at that point, funny thing is we holding our war games near the Empire's border in response their recent military activity. Two of the pegasi under my command were racing near the Empire’s border and saw the attack. I told them they were all free to remain behind that I would be going to assist the humans, not a single one stay behind. And I have no doubt that none of them regret going.

As far as why I chose to help that’s simple, they needed help. I don’t care much for politics, I know humans have a bad reputation and many see them as bullies. But the first step in spreading harmony is leading a helping hoof. In the week I spent with them, fighting with them and bleeding with them I learned a lot about them. Their stubborn and prideful a bit elitist even, but there also kind and compassionate, they feel the death of every comrade be it human or pony. They can look down at army trying to kill them and find it the perfect time to tell a joke, sending the entire wall laughing. Ponies may not want to admit this but we are a lot more similar to humans then they think.

***

In the weeks following the attacks on Fort Riveguard, Caption of the Guard Steadfast was presented with the silver crossed swords Medal of Devotion by Emperor Theodorick personally. This the first time somepony outside of the Empire's military has been awarded this medal.

The Empire as also announced that they plan to rebuild Fort Riveguard but not as means a against a possible Equestria attack, but instead to prevent future Arachnoid incursions into both The Empire and Equestria.

Equestria and the Human Empire have entered into the Arachnoid Defense Pact, some believe this may be the first steps to a future alliance.