It is cold.
The winter air blows into the room through the balcony window, a flurry of snow drifting onto the carpet. The white specks melt onto the crimson rugs in the shining moonlight. I shiver, and make a pleading look to the other occupant of the room, who, unfortunately, isn't looking at me. Instead, she is looking at a small pile of papers on a desk in front of her which flutter in the cold breeze. A quill - one of my feathers - is held in her warm magic, floating off to the side and ready for use.
My wings twitch as several blackened feathers fall to the ground, and I look away, hunching down a little farther on my roost, the frigid wind caressing my darkening frame.
Not unlike the first time...
It was cold.
My feathers shifted, and I spread my wings before letting them drop back to my sides to let them realign in the biting wind. Many of my feathers were blown away in the tumult. I leaned on the trunk of the tree beside me, my black feathers meshing with the brown bark.
Across from me, I could see my father, his eternal flame lit with a great ferocity. It was not yet time for his burning day, as I was having mine. I curled my talons tighter around my branch, righting myself.
You must be rekindled, my daughter, he said. Embrace the end, so that you can come back to the beginning.
But it's so cold, father. I shivered violently. Why is it so cold?
The cold is an obstacle you must overcome. He thrust out a wing. Be relit in the harshest place, and you will be strong in the face of adversity.
I could feel my flame, shrinking into my chest. The tips of my feathers began to freeze over in ice. I stopped shivering.
I was at peace.
My eyes closed.
I shuffle my feet on my perch, getting a better grip on the rod of metal. The white alicorn across from me hears my chittering, and turns to look at me. "What is it, Philomena?"
I tilt my head at her for a moment. My name. That is important. Why couldn't I -
I shake my head. I know perfectly well why. I can feel my inner heat dying, getting ready to start anew. As some of the ashes that used to be my feathers fall to the ground, I curl in a little tighter.
My name is my identity, and I have to keep it safe.
I can still remember when she gave it to me...
I stood on the balcony of the giant tower, smiling into the sunset. Beside me, my companion's horn glowed with a fierce intensity, her wings thrust out from her sides, pushing the sun beyond the horizon. The stone glowed with the yellow light of her magic as the orb of fire vanished from the sky. Her horn glowed brighter, and on the opposing side, the moon rose into the sky. Her horn flickered out, and she sat with a tired sigh. She looked over at me with an interested glance.
"You've stuck around a lot longer than I thought you would."
I squawked in response, my limited vocal skills preventing me from attributing any real meaning to the sounds. I tilted my head at her, trying to speak with my eyes more than anything. You're the only creature that hasn't tried to kill me since the Griffons invaded the nest, I thought.
"Do you have anywhere else to be, I wonder?" The Princess looked at me contemplatively. "Last I checked, Phoenixes lived in eastern Griffonia."
I shook my head vehemently. Not going there again, I thought.
She blinked. "So you don't like that place, hm?"
I nodded.
There was a stillness for a moment, and she looked away. I shuffled my talons and did the same, looking up at the moon, its face covered with what resembled a unicorn. I looked back down and over at my balcony acquaintance. She gave me a smile.
"Do you want to stay?"
I smiled the best I could with a beak, and nuzzled her. She gave me a smile back.
"I think..." Her smile dimmed for a moment, but came back a little brighter than before. "I think I'll call you Philomena."
Coming back to the present, I remember her question and wave a claw at the open balcony, the cold wind still carving its way into the room.
She looks over and, seeing the open doors, wraps them in her magic, shutting them against the storm. I give her a trill in thanks, and she smiles tiredly at me. "I haven't been paying attention, have I?"
I blink, and look at her questioningly.
"I didn't even notice it was your burning day until just now." She looks down. "I'm sorry."
I shake my head. You aren't the only one who makes mistakes, Princess, I think.
I've made plenty before too...
My inner flame burned with a fiery passion as I roared through the air, a blaze burning through the air behind me. My wings beat against the air with a frantic tempo. Behind me, the screech of a griffon ripped through the space between us, and I beat my wings faster.
I had to get away. I couldn't be taken away like my brethren, my brothers and sisters in spirit. I could feel my flame pushing me forwards ever faster, looking for an avenue of escape.
Why oh why did everything on Equis want to catch me?
I sent a wave of flame behind me on the eddying currents, and heard the results - terrified screeching from my pursuers. My beak uplifted for a moment, but I quickly shut that down.
I had to get away. I dimmed my inner light and dove, falling into the forest below. The dark trees glowed with my flame, and I twisted around the nearest tree, my wingtips burning scorch marks in the wood to either side. I tucked my wings in farther and propelled myself through a small gap, diving down over the edge of the ravine in front of me. I landed on the ground, breathing heavily. My claws scraped against the stone with a grinding sound.
I cocked my head, listening for any unusual sounds, but I couldn't hear any over my breathing. I began a slow walk down the ravine.
Then the trap snapped around my foot.
I hop down from my perch and walk over to Celestia. She offers me her foot, and I hop up, climbing to her shoulder. As I nuzzle her, she gives me a sad smile. "You never were one to hold a grudge."
I smile back at her. She brushes a hoof over my feathers, and several more come drifting off. "You don't have much longer now, do you?" she asks. "Do you want to go outside?"
I nod, and she gets up off of her chair, walking to the balcony. She pulls the doors open with her magic, and we step through into the outside world.
As the cold air wraps around me, I remember one last memory...
It was all burning.
Around me, the trees were coming down, being burnt to cinders by the invaders. Another wave of griffons sweeps over the forest, baskets of burning coals falling to the forest floor. I duck down in my hiding spot.
This... this was all wrong. My burning day was that day. It was supposed to be a day of rebirth, of starting over.
Instead, it was a day of destruction.
I whimper.
My father had told me to stay, and stay I would...
...no matter how many of my brethren were killed before my eyes.
Another feather fell from my plumage.
I stand on the balcony with my friend, the Princess, and she gives me a reassuring smile. "Are you ready?"
I nod, and face into the wind.
I can feel my flame, shrinking into my chest. The tips of my feathers begin to freeze over in ice.
I am at peace.
My eyes close.
I burst into flames.
Squawk?
I... I am Philomena.
And you... you are my friend, Celestia.
Right now, nothing else matters.
It will all return eventually.
Author's Note
Because Phoenixes are awesome.
Partially inspired by Guardians of Gahoole.
