"I'll Be Back"... Or not.
"Quiet on the set! Take 10! And... ACTION!" And they were off. Alan Taylor, the director of Terminator: Genisys, began to roll the camera. They were out in the streets of San Francisco and Arnold was preparing for his big scene. It's his time yet again. Saying his most famous line of all time: "I'll Be Back." Little did he know, this would be a bit more literal than he would've thought. There were trampolines and cushions everywhere for Arnold to land on. Just one condition: Don't Land in the Bay. Arnold and a few other cast members joked about this when they heard it, saying "Don't Land With Bay." This was a reference to director Michael Bay who was known for extensive use of CGI and sometimes ruining the movie all together. But, the cameras were rolling. Then he said it.
"I'll be back!" Arnold said before leaping out of the helicopter. He started to fly to the ground quickly, picking up speed. The cameras were rolling and would continue to until he landed. He picked up more and more speed. But Arnold was confident. He flew down and just as he was going to hit the ground... The cushions saved him. He took a sigh of relief, knowing that he would live to finish the movie. But, he never lost confidence. He was Arnold Schwarzenegger. He stood up and all the crew cheered. They began to set up again, preparing for the massive cop scene to come next. Arnold took a seat on top of a car, watching the crew do their work.
"Hey Arnold!" He heard from behind him. He turned to see a bearded friend.
"Chuck? He-Hey!" Arnold stood as the two burly men met each other. Arnold was a few inches taller than the bearded one, but Chuck paid no mind.
"I saw that jump. Took some balls. And you got 'em!"
"Ah... Ya sawz that? Good ta know, Chuck. Ya keepin up with da rumors?" Arnold was a bit hard to understand, as for his accent, but Chuck would understand. After all, he's Chuck Freakin' Norris.
¨Yeah. I´m watching them. Still gotta be cool right?¨ Chuck´s joke gave both men a laugh. The director came up to Arnold afterwards.
¨Hey there big guy.¨ He told Arnold, as if talking to a large infant.
¨Hey der. What´s up?¨
¨I got a call from the county. We're done here for today. Gotta let people get to work.¨
¨Ahh… So… What now? Where´re we headin´?¨
“You may do whatever you would like to do big guy” And with that, the director took his leave.
“Well… Now what?” Norris asked.
“Dunno…” Arnold sighed.
“Hey! I know! Let’s check out the old set. You know, back in the 80’s?” The thought gave Arnold a perk.
“Heh… Sure. Show ya da time travel works.” With that, they were off. They decided to head off to LA. Arnold was a famous actor and well known as a big guy, standing with the world’s toughest man by his side. No one was stopping them. So, Alan called off the movie filming for the day. Arnold led Chuck to his private jet: The Gulfstream III. It was a sleek white that cost the Austrian a cool 38 mil. As they boarded, they continued to talk about things that were cool before. Clint Eastwood. Black and White. Chuck Norris Jokes. many things. As they boarded, they laughed more, wondering about what’s happened to the world. Memes. Vines. Shia LaBeouf. Changed the world, but not for better. Not like these guys. These guys signaled the good times of life. As the ride became longer and longer, Chuck decided to nap. This allowed the big man to recline, taking a few drinks reading back through the script.
A few hours later, both men had fallen asleep. The plane landed at LAX and the attendant woke them both. Luckily, he had woken them and quickly ran off, for no mortal man can survive the combined might of these two gods. They were unhappily awoke and cleaned up, expecting a lot of fans and paparazzi. To their surprise, they got to their driver rather quickly, going out the back way, away from the public.
“Get in.” Arnie told Norris in reference to the limo, causing them both to laugh again. They told the driver of their destination, Orion Studios (Formerly Orion then to Metro-Goldwyn Mayer, back to Orion), and they were off. Once they arrived, they went in through to the “MEMORABILIA” room. There, there were some old movies, Hannibal’s cell from Silence of the Lambs among others. But, they were looking for Terminator. They found the old production room, not in use and decided to light it up. It showed the scene where T-1800 came from the past. Deciding to relive old memories, Arnold stripped down and stood under the lights. Chuck activated the lights and smoke, but it broke down. It had decayed from age. Not taking “no” for an answer, he did the only thing Chuck Norris could do: He Roundhouse Kicked it. Unfortunately, he forgot that Chuck Norris is so awesome that when he Roundhouse kicks, he causes lightning. When he kicked the machine, a huge spark of lightning hit it. The machine went up in flames and began to shoot sparks everywhere. Arnold was stuck in the flames, so Chuck tried to put the fire out… With a Roundhouse. This broke the machine in two. Forgetting his friend, Chuck fled quickly, looking for a real solution. Arnold tried to get free, but one of these stray bolts shocked the fire, causing it to expand more. The fire began to engulf the actor and began to send him into shock. The bolts began to shock him, causing his body to jolt around hard, pulsing all throughout his body. Just as he was blacking out, he could only think of one thing to say.
“Hasta la vista… Baby.” With that, the energy pulsed him hard and he fell into shock.
Arnold felt his body drifting as if in a vast sea but the only thing he could see was the darkness and what felt like flames. “Is this what death is like?” Arnold thought as he drifted through the darkness. Arnold didn’t know how long he had been drifting within the darkness but now there was something else here, it sounded like… voices?
“What is he doing?”
“Is he okay?”
“Ah don’t know... “
“We should tell somepony.”
“Who’s gonna help him out?”
“Twilight?”
“Yeah!”
Arnold slowly opened his eyes, blinking hard. He had to adjust his eyes to the light, not yet prepared. He had just been in darkness with fire burning him at the sides. He felt grass under him and a warm sun on his face. It wasn’t bad or anything. It was calm. Too calm. He started to mentally freak out, thinking he was in heaven. But, once he looked up, he saw something that made him think twice about heaven. There were three horse looking things standing right over him.
“Hey Ya’ll he is awake” Said one of the horse looking things standing above Arnold in a southern sounding voice.
“AHH! What da hell is dat?!” Arnold yelled, backing away from the horse thing.
“Uh… I’m ah earth pony… Like you.” The the thing said. It had yellow hair and it was orange.
“What? I look nothing like... Whatever you’re suppose to be.” Arnold said confused.
“I think this pony might have hit his head or something.” The multi colored horsey thing with wings said.
“What da hell?! Ya got wings! And… Did ya say pony?” Arnold said in both a surprised and confused manner.
“Well duh! Of course Rainbow has wings! She is a pegasus after all, Mr. Silly Pony!” Said a “pony” that looked like it had a mass of cotton candy on it’s head. She laughed before snorting after remarking him as “Mr. Silly Pony”.
“What ‘re ya crazy thins talkin bout?! I am not a pony!” Arnold was starting to get mad and you don’t wanna mess with him when he gets mad.
“I gotta get outta ‘ere.” Arnold was reaching for his phone when he realized that his hand didn’t really feel like it was working properly. And that is when, to his horror, he saw that his hand wasn’t there any long but instead in it’s place was what looked to be a hoof.
“What da F*** is going on!?!” Arnold began to have a full on panic attack.
“What did ya horse pony thins do to me!?” Arnold screamed. He was just about to start kicking some pony butts but that’s when something hit him in the head hard… And everything was again consumed by darkness.
After a little while of just drifting this time Arnold felt something new… Softness? But what could possible be soft in this dark void? Then Arnold could hear them again the voices, pulling him from the depths of the darkness toward, light? What was going on? What are these things? What happened to Chuck? Oh… He was gonna get a piece of his mind when he got home. if he got home that is. Just as he contemplated a plan to kick Chuck in da nutz, he gained his vision again. Now, he was on a bed. The surrounding was completely different. He wasn’t outside this time. There was some walls that looked like they were made of diamonds. He looked around and saw another one of those pony things. But this one was holding something that looked like old parchment and a quill. Well, it was held up by some purplish forcefield. At this point, he thought he fell into a kiddy version of Star Wars. Ha-Ha Lucas, he thought. This pony was even weirder, with wings and a horn. It looked like a uniesus. Or a pegacorn. He opened his eyes wider and saw those three things from earlier, plus a white one with blue hair and a yellow one with pink hair.
“OOH! Hey! Hey girls! He’s up!” The pink one from earlier said. She seemed the most energized from them all.
“Oh… I see. Hello sir. My name is Princess Twilight Sparkle.” The pegacorn said, smiling to him and dropping her parchment.
“Ahh… Where am I?” He said, shaking his head. He decided to calm down this time so that he wouldn’t get hit again.
“You’re in the friendship castle! If you don’t mind me asking, what might your name be?” This question made Arnold laugh out loud, much to the confusion of the 6 Pony things.
“Seriously?! Ya dunno me?!”
“Uh… No Darling… I’m sorry. Should we?” The white one spoke up for the first time with a beautiful voice. Her hair was curled and she wasn’t the worst looking, best of the group.
“Uh… Yeah! I is a famous actah!”
“What was that?!” The multi-colored one said, bursting out laughing from his accent.
“Aye! Shut up before I kick ya pony ass!” He gave in to his anger and saw the pink one reaching for a lamp.
“Don’t ya even think bout it ya pink piece ah S***!” His sudden outbursts surprised the group, not use to this much vulgar language.
“Sir! We are so sorry! Please forgive us and calm down!” The pegacorn named Twilight said. She was trying to be calm with him to prevent any more damage to her ears or her castle. But Arnold wasn’t in the mood to hear lip from these ponies. Maybe the white one. That’s it.
“Tell me where I ahm! Now before I break dis whole place!” That’s when the white one spoke up yet again.
“Twilight, let me try… Sir, I hope you wouldn’t mind so dearly to calm down a bit? Such a strong and handsome stallion as yourself could give us a little information, right Darling?” She smiled reassuringly and flickered her eyes. Arnold decided to give in some, but he was watching the pegacorn.
“Grr… Fine. Ahm Arnold Schwarzenegger. I’m a…” His comment was met by snickers from the colored one.
“Arnold Schwarzenegger?! That sound like a parody name of Arnold Schrarzepony! Celestia… Stop joking around!”
“Aye! Shut up ya lesbian lookin b****! Ah am Arnold! Ah dunno how I got ‘ere!”
“Rainbow, he does have the same accent…” The pegacorn said.
“Excuse me darling, what are you? In terms of race?” The white unicorn said. He was more used to her and calmed down.
“I’m Austrian.”
“Well, no. I mean… A pegasus, earth pony, unicorn…”
“Imma human!” This caused a gasp between all of them, all staring to Twilight.
“A human?” The pegacorn asked unsurely.
“Yeah. Imma famous actah. This Schrarzepony must be a bad impression ah me!”
“Well, I’ve never heard of you!” The Rainbow was the most annoying one of them all.
“Ehy, tell me what, what movies has this guy been in?”
“Well, Conan the Pony-Barian, Magic-Kindergarden Cop and the Termin-Pony.” This now made Arnold laugh hysterically.
“Heh… WHAT?! Those ‘re mah movies! The Barbarian, Kindergarten Cop and the Terminator!”
“Well, there must’ve been some sort of problem. What’s the last thing that happened to you before you ended up here?” Twilight asked
“Well Bella, what happened…”
“Uh… It’s Twilight.”
“Right. Yah from Twilight. Bella.”
“Wha… I… NO! My name is Twilight.”
“Oh… Well, whatever da case, Chuck F***ed up my machine and sent me ‘ere from spaahks n stuff.”
“Hmm…. Maybe an intense case of shockage lead to an internal portal.”
“Ah got no idea what ya just said. Ya mind not bein’ such a egghead?” Arnold said, adjusting himself on the bed. Rainbow Dash laughed again.
“What’s so funny this time?!”
“I call her a egghead too! High hoof!” She held up her hoof for something that looked like a high five. He looked at her unsurely and slowly took it. She high hoofed him and went back to her spot. This conversation angered Twilight some.
“Well… Anyway… I think you you should get used to life here.”
“And how do ah do that?”
“Well, Applejack agreed to let you live on the farm…”
“Applejack? Ah guess ah could take one. Ah prefer vodka but still…”
“What? No… Not the drink! The pony!”
“Oh… Which one of ya is that?” The orange one that he saw earlier with the blonde hair came up and bowed her head to the actor.
“It’s me. Ahm sure that we could be friends. Mah big brother is big ‘n strong too, so ahm sure ya’ll could get along.” He smiled, although feeling a bit discomforted of having to compete with a pony. He was strong but he knew how strong horses were.
“Uh… Okay… What do ah do?”
“Well, just some apple bucking. It ain’t nothin’ too bad.” Arnnie smiled to this comment and stretched out.
“Can ah stand up?”
“Uh… Sure. Just, be careful. You may not be used to it though. Remember, you’re a pony now, so you’ve got to walk on all four.” Twilight says.
“Thanks Pegacorn.” He said,
“Pegacorn? oh Arnold what I am classified as is an alicorn and you can just call me Twilight.” Twilight said.
“Okay. Well, let's go do that apple bucking you were talking about earlier.” Arnold said as he was getting up to walk out. Unfortunately, he had forgotten about the “walking on four legs” thing from pegacor… err… Twilight and was just about to fall on his face. But, with the finesse that only Arnold could manage, he just so happened to land on his other two hooves.
“You alright there partner?” Applejack asked. Everypony else was staring, also wanting to know if he was alright.
“Oh ya. I’ve taken a lot worse falls than that.” Arnold said. After confirming with them that he was fine and after a little bit of getting comfortable with these ponies, Arnold followed Applejack to wherever she was headed to buck these apples. They arrived at a farm kinda thing. The Austrian saw on the sign out front that read Sweet Apple Acres. And what a sight it was to behold! Apple trees as far as the eye could see. And not just the trees but the apples themselves! They were golden or just shinny red. They were huge and looked juicy enough to fill up cider barrels. His mouth began to water and his stomach grumbled, as he didn’t eat since the substandard catering at the set in San Fran. AJ noticed this rumbling and watery mouth and had to stop him from going through her whole farm.
“I reckon you ain’t ate nothin’ today. Have ya?”
“No…” He sighed, looking to his tough, but empty belly.
“Well come on then! Ya’ll got ‘ere just in time for lunch. Ya ain’t never gonna be the same after this!” She smiled, quickly pulling him into their small house. Surprising to him, it was relatively big. Especially since the beer-named pony was smaller than him. The size of the house was then affirmed when they went into a kitchen, where he met a pony that matched up to him in height, size, etc.
“Hey there, everypony! This is our new friend, Arnold Schwarzenegger!” She announced to the family.
“Eh? What was that?” Granny Smith asked, working on the lunch. Another pony that was definitely the smallest out of any that he had seen that day was helping out the old granny. She was bright yellow and had reddish hair. Hey bow was a bright pink and had the cutest smile ever. Her eyes went to stars.
“Arnold Schwarzepony?! It really is him!” She ran up, hugging the human turned pony.
“Actually Bloom, this is Arnold Schwarze-negger. He used to be a human and well, is like Schwarzepony but from his world.” AJ responded, blushing at the thought of her sister not believing her. But, this only made her smile wider.
“A human?! Like when Twilight went…”
“Yes…”
“And she met…”
“Yes.”
“Then it…”
“Yes! He’s a human. Just, look. Bloom, he needs a place to stay and, if he helped Mac with the buckin’, he’d be able to stay ‘ere until Twi gets him home.” This idea didn’t sound good to either of the stallion. Arnold didn’t like the idea of having to work for a bed. He also didn’t like that he was sleeping in a barn. Not his house. Not a 5-Star Hotel. Not even his trailer! A barn. A farm. MAc didn’t like having to share the workload.
“Nope.” Mac remarked quickly.
“What was that Mac?” AJ asked, turning irritated to her big brother.
“Ah said ‘Nope’. I ain’t gonna share my load with ‘em.”
“Oh an’ why not? Think i’ll be better than ya fahm boy?” Arnie turned angry as well.
“No ah don’t! Ahm better than ya! I’ll do my share in a hour!”
“Ah’ll do it in 30 minutes!” They were now in each other’s face, angrily glaring at the stallion across from them. Neither wanted to admit it, but they knew it was a lot of work.
“Boys! Ya’ll both share the work! And that’s final! Now sit! We got lunch.” Granny set the plates and all sat. Arnold sat across from Mac and they continued their glare. Despite this, Bloom tried to talk to Arnold about his life. It was a very awkward lunch.
“Then you just kick it with all yer might!” AJ said, repeating herself for the twentieth time. She had gotten no work done today because she had to teach Arnie how to buck apples. It was getting dark but he finally bucked a tree, dropping the apples into the bucket. He smiled before letting out a yawn. It was dark by now and Mac started heading in. Apple Bloom was feeling tired as well, but she didn’t show it. She had been helping train Arnold with her big sister.
“Good… Now… Do that for… A few more…” AJ tiredly said.
“How ‘bout we get to bed? Ya seem tired.” Arnold said, although he was also tired.
“Fine… But tomorrow, you’re workin…”
“Right… Where do ah sleep?”
“Well… You could stay in Mac’s room…”
“NO! Anywhere else?”
“Celestia… Ya’ll ‘ere more angry than… Something… Angry. Sorry. Ahm perty beat.” After hearing Arnie’s hatred to Mac, the small, yellow filly ran next to him.
“He could stay with me!” Her sudden outburst surprised both the mare and stallion.
“Bloom… Yer bed is too small for both of ya.”
“Well, I have a sleeping bag!”
“That’s still too small for him…”
“I mean for me!”
“Ya… Ya really wanna give up ya bed for me?” The Austrian asked, touched.
“Well, yeah! I love yer movies! And…” It sounded as if she was gonna say something else but she coughed it out.
“Thanks, Bloom it is?” He picked her up on his shoulders like a ponyback ride as she directed him to her room. AJ smiled at them and went to her room.
“And then ah jumped straight outta da helicopter.”
“No parachute?!”
“Nah… There were cushions an stuff but no parachutes.”
“That’s amazing!” Bloom was snuggled into her sleeping bag right next to her bed. Arnold was heading from the bathroom and snuggling into the bed. It wasn’t huge but it was just big enough to fit him. It was also strong enough to hold him, although just barely. He was starting to fall asleep until he felt something on his cheek. It felt like, lips. Apple Bloom kissed his cheek and hugged his head before going back to her sleeping bed. He blushed and smiled to her.
“Arnold, your movies are so super cool! Ahm glad ya’ll is here, even if it’s just for a few days. Ah can’t wait for you to meet my friends!” She smiled.
“Oh… Thanks Bloom. Me too…” He was cut off by snoring sounds. She had fallen asleep and it was his turn now. He rolled into the covers and fell asleep, forgetting about being a human.
Author's Note
Hello everypony! Hold on Copyright: I don't own the "Terminator" Franchise and am not associated with any people or production in this story.
Okay. Back to me. So, I really like this story idea and I hope you do too! I put in a butt load of references, not just from MLP. For everyone you get, I'll give you one G-Point. Collect them up! As for the story, this one was hard to right because I had NO idea how to incorporate Arnold's accent. If you guys didn't like that part, please let me know how to fix it.
ALSO, I got a co-writer! First EVER for me! His name is BerginatorGaming () . Check him out. He's a really awesome friend.
Otherwise, I wanna thank you all for reading! I have no outro, so I hope this isn't awkward.
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