The Bomb Pony

by Sparky Blaze

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, Princess Luna, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Random, Discord, Princess Celestia, Slice of Life
Length: 7441

When Sparky Blaze tries to test a new magicaly-enhaced bomb to totally change the world of pyrotechnology, things go slightly downhill.

It all started well enough. It was a simple test on the range, that would change the world of pyrotechnology forever! But when it goes wrong, will he be able to fix his wrong, or will he go down in history as the pony who destroyed Ponyville?

Published 2015-12-16 18:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2016-04-28 01:23:32 UTC

The Unlucky Day

"Meow."

No response.

"Meooow?"

".what do you want?"

"MEOW!"

"Oh, right! Today we have to do our first test of the new magically enhanced explosive!" Sparky Blaze was giddy with excitedness with his new explosive formula, since his last string of magically powered explosives never seemed to detonate, either due to the weather ponies messing up the schedule and making rain fall on the test site or due to freak magical mishaps.

Today he was sure, no, he KNEW that today he would finally test it and be able to prove to everypony that explosives could be made to destroy the intended target and not affect ponies, or anything that wasn't meant to be wrecked. Sure, his last test with it didn't get him any closer to his goal, but that never stopped the ambitious yellow unicorn, after all.

Sparky Blaze usually spent most of his days working on explosive formulas and chemistry experiments, and had a vast knowledge of explosives. Right after breakfast, he ran to put the finishing details on his new experiment.

A While Later...

"Zippo! Come here for a second!"

Zippo, Sparky's yellow tabby cat, came out of the house wearing his special yellow hard hat, which he always wore on special days like this one. He looked around at the field, and didn't see his owner anywhere.

"I'm in the shed!"

That got the cat all rilled up, and soon enough Zippo got to the shed, or at least what Sparky called a shed. If the inventor of the shed ever got a chance to see it, he would probably scream his head off and go on self-imposed exile out of equestria. For this 'shed' didn't look like a shed at all, or at least not anymore. Some parts of the wall were charred with what seemed to be results of impromptu combustion accidents, there were many tools on the walls, and the most notable thing of all: it had no roof. Sure, ponies would call Sparky 'crazy' if they knew about this, but then again, who would ever see it? Sparky lived in the middle of nowhere. Not really, more between Canterlot and Ponyville, to be exact.

And soon enough, Sparky noticed the yellow cat waiting for whatever his owner had summoned him for.

"Ok Zippo! You know what we're doing today, so I need you to grab my saddlebag while I finish setting up the magical detonator. After that, we'll go ahead and set it all up in the bomb range!"

The magical detonator was a great piece of equipment that Sparky had designed himself. It basically detonates whatever its connected to when a unicorn uses a basic signaling spell on it, also his own creation, and as a bonus, if it detects any life inside a 100 meter radius around it, it disarms the bomb. Truly, a great gadget.

"Meow." Zippo was back, now with a rather big yellow saddlebag on his back.

"I'll take that, thanks Zip!" the saddlebag floated over to Sparky's back, and once he felt it was secure, carefully put the new bomb prototype in it.

"Let's go over to the bomb range and see what this thing can do!"

The bomb range wasn't much more than a barren field with a few wooden props and cardboard pony cut-outs placed in a random fashion, and a small trench that could fit two or three ponies, depending on how willing one would be to completely ignore the concept of personal space. Sparky Blaze was very crafty, that was true, but his special talent didn't bring in much in the way of bits since most of his profit came from mining companies, and they didn't really buy much at a time, because it was a bit of a hassle to use explosives in mines. That was what Sparky was trying to change with his newest prototype.

After an eneventful walk to the range, Sparky and Zippo were ready to set it all up. First they moved all the pony cut-outs to standart distances, and Sparky made sure to put the wooden props in the right places, and then he finally placed the bomb in the very middle of the range.

"Alright Zippo, it's time, don't ya think?"

"Meow!"

"If you say so! Let me just arm the magical detonator and we'll be set!"

Luckily it didn't take long to do that, since Sparky simply impaled the poor bomb with the device.

"Ok Zippo, get in the trench, it's showtime!"

Almost tripping with anticipation, Sparky galloped with Zippo and hopped into the uncomfortable trench, and now there was only one thing to do.

"FIRE IN THE HOOOOOLE!"

"MEEEEEEOOOOOOW!"

And just like they hoped, nopony answered. That meant that nopony was in the area and it was safe to detonate the package.

"Ok, here goes nothing." Sparky said hopefully while powering up the signaling spell.

"3... 2... 1... 0... DETONATION!" He activated the spell while Zippo ducked under him.

*poof*

"...what?"

Sparky risked a look, and sure enough, the bomb did not go off.

"Oh no... not this! NOT THIS!" Sparky was, understandably, very fustrated. "I worked for too long on this for it not to work! I demand you blow up, for Celestia's sake! Blow UP!"

And just then the bomb started glowing. Not very bright, at least not for Sparky to notice, but sure enough, it kept glowing brighter and brighter until he noticed it. He frowned. Then it it started burning.

"What the hay is this?! Zippo! Get back in the trench! Something is going on!" He shrieked while sprinting to the trench.

He almost made it.

That's right. Almost.

There was a blinding flash, brighter than Celestia's Sun, and a loud bang that was heard all the way in Canterlot. Today was not Sparky Blaze's lucky day.

Celestia's Day Court, Canterlot

Celestia loved her subjects even more than a mother loves her foal, but that din't make day court any more fun for her. Sometimes she would wish that something, anything came up that could save her from enduring the most boring part of being a princess of Equestria. That said, she seriously did not expect what happened at all.

"...and that is why, me, Prince Blueblood of Equestria, think that from now on all bits should have my striking likeliness on them."

Celestia sighed. For twenty tense seconds.

"Blueblood, I repeat, I will NOT recall every bit from Equestria just to put your face in it. Even if you did request this, how many times again?"

The Royal Secretary replied, trying not to giggle, but failing. "This is the twenty-first time he came here asking this."

"Right. Even though you came here twenty-one times, I will not change my mind on the sub-"

*BOOM*

"What the hay was THAT? Blueblood, if that was you, I swear, you will-"

"TIA! DID THOU SEE IT?! TIS AN EMERGENCY!" Luna screamed as she teleported a small distance form the floor in front of Celestia.

"Luna, please, quit with the Royal Canterlot Voice and show me what it is! Does it have something to do with the bang?!" Celestia was clearly distressed at this point.

"LOOK OUT THY WINDOW TIA! TIS THE END! ARRANGE THE ARMY! TIREK MUST BE BACK! OR DISCORD! OR BOTH!"

Celestia, not even bothering to listen, looked out the window. She then saw an orange dome of fire and magic that soon dissapeared and gave way to a huge mushroom cloud.

"Oh goodie..." Celestia deadpanned "Just what I needed..."

"SHOULD WE SUMMON THE ELEMENTS, SISTER?"

"Please do." Celestia was in shock to say the least. "But I don't know how effective friendship will be against that shockwave coming right towards us..."

"WHAT SHOCKWAVE!?" Luna was panicking.

"The one that will hit us in about 4.. 3.. 2.. 1.. " Celestia braced herself for the worst, the guards scrambled to put up a shield over their rulers, and Luna started bawling like a foal all while the secretary slowly sang 'It's a Beautiful World'.

Then it hit.

Today was NOT Celestia's lucky day.

Author's Note

Alright! This is my first ever fanfic, and any feedback is welcome! If enough people show interest in making this one-off into a proper story, I will do my best to make it happen! :trollestia:

Immediate Reaction

Author's Note

So, I decided to continue developing the story, since there was a very unexpected reaction to the first chapter being that people liked it! :yay: Also, there were more than 100 views on it at the time of writng this, so I am very happy with that. So, without further ado, here's chapter 2!

Immediate Reaction

Celestia never had a headache this bad before.

She didn't want to open her eyes. She tried to remember what happened, but her memory of it was fuzzy at best.

Last I remember, there was a big explosion, and...

"GUARDS! TO ME!", Celestia commanded while springing up to a standing position.

When no answer came, she had to do a double take. The Royal Guard was always ready for anything, and they were never disobedient, especially to one of the princesses.

"Guards?", Celestia was looking around the throne room, growing worried. The room was in utter chaos, with broken glass and dust everywhere, and quite a lot of cracks on the walls.

And just to make everything better, Discord popped into existence right in front of Celestia with a characteristic 'pop'.

"Hello Cell-" Discord was rudely interrupted by a hoof to the face.

"DISCORD! YOU DID THIS! YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS" The princess was getting rather angry at him.

Discord, who was still sprawled on the floor from the hit, said nothing. All he did was watch as Celestia proceeded to charge up a spell, which by just looking at her face, Discord could tell was meant to kill him, or something like that, he thought.

"DIE DISCORD!" She screamed.

Yep, she wants to kill me, thought the mismatched spirit, good thing I know something she doesn't.

And then her spell fizzled out of existence like a balloon popping.

"HAHAHAHAHA! You thought that was going to stop me? Did you ever think about why I even come here?" Discord asked, grinning like he had won the lottery.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!" She ran up to him and held him against the wall, pure hatred in her eyes. "GIVE IT BACK!"

The spirit chuckled. "I had nothing to do with the explosion, although it was pure chaos, so I need to meet up with whoever did it and give them a prize. I came here to tell you about how you can't do magic anymore."

Celestia mulled it over, but the more she though, she started to notice how Discord had never demanded anything to her yet, and he wasn't monologue his evil scheme. That meant that Discord, much to her chagrin, was innocent.

And then Luna walked (like a drunk giraffe) out from behind an overturned table, and saw Discord. Discord grinned awkwardly at her. Luna was not amused. She teleported right behind Discord, gave him an uppercut, kicked him down on his knees and materialized a shiny blue sword forged from the darkest pits of Tartarus, and put it at his throat.

"Any last words, VILLAIN?", Luna asked coldly. "Or will you die a silent death?"

Then Luna heard laughing. Discord's laugh, no less. She was starting to wish she remembered how she became Nightmare Moon, if only to kill him.

"Oh Moony, did you really think I'd be so easy to beat?" He swooped from behind her, making her jump. "Oh MY, you did! I'm offended! Say you're sorry for underestimating me."

"NEVER!" The blue princess bellowed while staring him down.

Not that he cared. After all, that extremely life-like dummy he made of himself had worked much better than he expected, even if Luna thought he was weak in a fight now that he was reformed. Didn't she remember the epic battles back in the day, with Luna and Celestia shooting rainbow lasers everywhere trying to hit him?

"Sister", Celestia thought she should probably tell Luna he was innocent. "Discord is not to blame for this incident. I know, it's hard to believe, but he doesn't seem to be lying and the magical signature of the blast does not have his trace of blatant chaos and disharmony."

Hearing that, Luna just stared at Discord, who was not at all noticing the fact that the night princess was looking at him. Although, this little dispute made Celestia think for a moment. Sure, she expected Luna to react harshly, not as much as she did, but there was still something amiss.

"Celestia, now that the blast has passed, I think we should bring Twilight and her friends like we were going to before, you know, every bucking window blew in our faces."

"Yes, I think that's a good idea, considering that something on this scale happened. Luna, I believe you can bring them in yourself, right?" Celestia answered, while the Lord of Chaos picked up a pair of personalized ear mufflers and put them on.

What came next could be described as a marvelous show of (insert synonyms for sparks here) on Luna's horn as she tried over and over again to teleport the Element Bearers into the throne room.

That's what I was missing, Celestia thought with a frown. If she also can't use magic, how did she summon her sword?

"That was me. I wanted to see what she was going to do to the dummy." Discord whispered to Celestia, "and I advise that you cover your ears, Sunbutt."

Celestia didn't know how he read her thoughts, or why he said to cover her ears, but she felt a sense of dread wash over her.

Then Luna forgot the concept of indoor voices and screamed for all of Equestria to hear, "BUUUUUUCK!"

Call Uncle Discord To Fix Your Issues (Somewhat)

"BUUUUUUUCK!"

Sparky jolted up from his sleep when he heard what sounded like a rhino screaming 'buck' coming from far away. He didn't' remember much of what happened before he went to sleep, but it was obvious he didn't go to sleep willingly.

"Oof, my head hurts like crazy." He grumbled.

He is not felling too well.

"What in Equestria was I doing sleeping on the bomb range inside the bun.. ker..."

He then realized the seriousness of the situation.

"Wait, if I ended up like this and I was in the bunker, then what happened to my house!?" He asked nopony while doing his best to crawl out of the ditch that was the bunker.

As soon as he made it out of the bunker he saw a sight that he didn't expect. His house was there just like he hoped it was, sure, but the hundreds of shards of wood and holes made by flying rocks, along with all the windows being broken, was news to him.

Looking at the broken chimney, he just said "That's gonna take a while to fix," while picking up a piece of a wooden cutout of a pony with his hoof, since he never really bothered to use magic for such mundane things.

Everywhere he looked there was something broken or destroyed, but most of the damage seemed to have been from sheer force throwing debris around, since Sparky couldn't see any big burns or fires other than the center of the explosion, which was in the center of the range. Or rather what used to be the range, since most of it had been blown away that it was more of a crater than anything else. In short, it didn't look good for Sparky if anypony came over to see what had happened.

"Jeez, I guess that's another very expensive fine for destroying the landscape then", he sighed as he trotted over to his house and dumping the broken cutout in the garbage can. "I guess I can expect a visit from an angry Mayor Mare anytime between now and next week then."

And then when he turned towards the bathroom to clean himself up, he remembered that something, or someone, had not been accounted for after he woke up.

"Where in TARTARUS is that pussy of a CAT!?"

Meanwhile in Canterlot Fort Castle

After desperately trying to teleport the 6 element bearers into the throne room for the 32nd time, Luna finally gave up and accepted defeat.

"HA HA! I told you Luna! Whatever that blast was, it stopped your horn from being able to actually manipulate the mana fields of magiks that you unicorn ponies use for everything. Now just admit that you have been defeated!" Discord said while floating around while doing flips.

"Just let him have this, Luna. He DID say he'll help us after this." Celestia added.

"Yes indeed!" Discord exclaimed, "Since my magic has nothing to do with your basic booooring pony magic, I can still do all the great chaotic magic I'm known for, including helping you teleport them here."

"FINE! I GIVE UP! YOU WIN DISCORD!" Luna was not used to his joking and jeering, even though she got to see him quite a lot around the castle redecorating. "Just do your magic and let me bring them in."

Discord then flew straight into her face and looked at her expectantly, "And what is the magic word?"

Luna hung her head down, barely keeping her temper in check. "Please, Master Chaos of All Things Pertaining To The Breaking of The Space-Time Continuum And Fourth-Wall Shebangs. THERE! HAPPY?"

"Yes, very. Now let's to this thing!" Discord clicked his fingers and nothing seemed to happen.

"Are you sure that worked?"Celestia asked.

"I don't know. You try it out." Discord spoke while reclining in the air while sipping a cup of juice that came out of nowhere, "my job here is done. As long as you stay in the throne room, it should work."

"You better be telling the truth, Discord." And with that, Celestia cast the teleportation spell and with a resounding POP, 6 mares appeared, with varying levels of worry on their faces. Twilight seemed like she was about to cry, Rarity cad been teleported with her couch and Pinkie seemed to accept she had just been displaced in space-time without a visible reaction. The rest were silent and confused.

Rainbow Dash was the first to speak. "What the HAY was THAT?"

Author's Note

Some kind of plot begins! What will happen? Does Celestia eat the cake? Will pinkie duke it out with Discord for the 4th Wall Shebangs title? All this will be answered in the next chapter!

Ok, this was the last time that I will ever promise a schedule for a story. It made me end up stressing over it and because of that, I couldn't come up with a good enough chapter for you guys. Sorry it took so long! but here it is, and I'll probably write another chapter soon-ish.

The Reception Party

Since the poor mares had just woken up from being blacked out after some huge blast of unknown nature knocked them out, and then were teleported all the way to Canterlot, it was only logical for them to be very confused and, for those that were not used to teleportation, sick.

As soon as they were teleported into the throne room, Rainbow Dash asked the princesses just "what the HAY was THAT?". But right as Celestia was going to open her mouth to tell them, she asked with her hooves in her mouth, "where's the nearest bathroom?"

"Uhh, it's at the end of the hallway behind you." Celestia mumbled while pointing to the corridor while facehoofing.

Hearing that, Rainbow turned around and flew as fast as her wings could carry her down the corridor, and seconds later a crash, a bang, and a flush were heard. Luna couldn't help but grin while it all unfolded. It was nice to see something funny after suffering through a session of Discord's antics.

"So, your highnesses, did ya'll bring us here because of that explosion thingmagig?" Applejack asked, getting to the chase. Celestia shuffled around a bit hearing that. "So, is it because of that?"

"If you don't mind aswering, that is..." Fluttershy added timidly.

Luna looked at the mares and simply said, "Yes, that might have SOMETHING to do with why you're here.."

"Luna! This is not the time to take out your anger of Discord on them! They were much closer to whatever happened, so please! Some respect!"

Celestia half-whispered to her sister with a frown. Turning to the 5 mares still in the throne room, she said, "as soon as Rainbow Dash comes back, we will tell you everything we know."

That seemed to satisfy Applejack enough that she just sat there waiting for the rainbowy pegasus to come back. But all was not ok with Twilight. She looked like she was about to cry, and Celestia was quick to pick up on that.

"Twilight?" Celestia asked.

"Yes, Princess Cele-lestia?" She answered with her head down.

"What's wrong my Faithful Student?" Celestia asked.

"Other than the obvious disaster that is this day?" Luna added.

Celestia glared at her sister with poison in her eyes.

"A-HEM. Yes, other than that. What is the matter, Twilight?" She asked again.

Twilight turned away from her mentor as she suppressed a sniffle. "I don't wanna talk about it."

"Awww, c'mon Twilight! Why not? It can't be worse than the big bad boom that knocked everypony out and totally, and I mean, TOTALLY looked awesometastic, riiiiiight?" Pinkie asked with a cheery smile.

"Yes it can." Twilight answered, not budging at all.

Celestia knew that when her student acted like that, it could either be a VERY serious problem, or a small issue that she took too seriously. "Twilight, tell me what happened."

As expected, she answered "I don't want to."

Celestia was getting tired of waiting for her to answer, so she simply said,"By Royal Decree of the seal of the Sun, you will answer me, Twilight. Don't make me put you in a dungeon for life because of something silly."

THAT made the bird sing, so to speak.

"Oh I'm SO SORRY CELESTIA! I wa-was only trying to send you a le-letter using Spike's magic, and it simply burned the letter!" Twilight was sobbing now. "I told Spike to take another letter, and another, and ANOTHER, and it wouldn't work! I was so desperate that I screamed at Spike, and h-he said that if I was going to treat him like t-that, I was going to have to write my own letters and send them myself!"

"But that's not so bad, my Faithful Student, and I'm sure you learned your lesson on the matte-"

"That's not all! Then when I tried to bring the scrolls over to write a message to you, MY MAGIC WOULDN'TWORKANDIPANICKEDANDKICKEDABOOK! OHMYGOSHI'MSOSORRY!"

That made Celestia remember just how easy ponies can panic over the smallest of things, and how that reaction to not being able to use magic would escalate into a nationwide panic that couldn't be contained and.. Oh BUCK I'M SCREWED. Better do something about that in the next hour. But first, I need to make my student stop crying.

"Twilight, listen to me. I am well aware that the connection to the mana pool that unicorns use has been blocked and I am also aware that an explosion with what seems to be infused magical properties might have something to do with it, and last time I checked, books don't have feelings. There! Did I forget anything?" Celestia shot down every single worry that Twilight had, and that made the lavender alicorn calm down.

"So you're not gonna jail me?" Twilight asked.

"Why would I? I just said that so you would tell me what was wrong." Celestia smirked.

"Oh, okay.. still, why are WE here?" Twilight asked, since Celestia and Luna hadn't heard that a couple times already.

Just then Rainbow Dash dashed back into the throne room and with the dignity of a monkey stealing jewelry, said, "I'm all good now! What'd I miss?"

Author's Note

I was felling inspired and guilty for making you guys waiting so long, I wrote yet another chapter! Enjoy! :trollestia:

Discordant Inc. Recon And Skybox Services

"What´d I miss?" Rainbow asked as soon as she came back from the bathroom.

All the ponies in the room, including whatever guards were near, stared at her with unamused faces.

"Nothing. You missed nothing important, Rainbow Dash. Your friend Twilight was simply upset about how she handled things when she came to after the 'incident'." Celestia answered.

Luna muttered, "If that's what passes as handled these days, then I guess Discord has been 'handled'."

"Don't mind my sister, she's angsty today." Celestia told the mares while rolling her eyes.

Pinkie opened her mouth to speak, and then Celestia cut her before she could speak. "As to why you're here, I IS because of the explosion that struck you, along with Canterlot and Ponyville." Pinkie closed her mouth at that.

"then what do you want us to do, Princess?" Fluttershy asked, "If you don't mind me asking, that is."

"I bet it's something like picking up the Elements of Harmony and blasting whatever monster bad guy.. thing that did this!" Rainbow Dash suggested helpfully.

Celestia almost choked at that. She didn't even know what DID cause the explosion, or ever considered the possibility of a monster, which was likely, considering how armaggedon seemed to be attracted to Equestria. How come there's never any monster in Zebrica or Saddle Arabia or anywhere not here?

"Change of plans, my little ponies!" Celestia shouted frantically while ushering all the mares behind her throne. She quickly looked up and down, left and right, and on her back. One can't be too careful after the Dresden Colt Incident, after all.

"What are you doing, sister?" Luna asked without looking at her, but the confused ponies that were going behind the throne in single file. "Did you discover something important, or are you over-thinking again?"

Celestia turned around and glared at her, and shushed her.

Over-thinking it is, then.

"Um, why are we behind your throne, Princess?" Twilight asked.

"SHUSH!"

"Ok, then, be mysterious. Jeez." Twilight mumbled.

"I'M LEAVING." Facehoofing Luna said as she trotted over to a broken window, and flew away towards Ponyville.

Celestia didn't even notice Luna leaving, since she was so invested in her very important task. Protecting the Element Bearers until she knew that there was no magic-draining death-monster on the lose. But to know, I'll have to call him... buck.

"DISCORD!" She blurted.

And then the guards became rappers.

YO IT'S DICORD IN THE HOOUUUUUUSEEEEE!

GIVE IT UP FOOOOR DISCOOOOOOOOOOORD!

"YO YO YO IT'S ME! DISCOORD! WHO HAS SUMMONED ME?" Discord asked while gliding on a surfboard while wearing a black baseball cap put on backwards with the words 'LORDE CHAOS' written on it, and wearing sunglasses. "Who wants their daily dose of CHAOOOOOS?"

"Shut up Discord and listen to me." Celestia said.

All the rad stuff that appeared for Discord's entrance fell to the ground and exploded without damaging anything as soon as she said that.

"What do you want then Celestia? Haven't I done enough for you today?"

"No." She said.

"Ugh FINE. What do you need?" He asked her.

"I need you to make sure that the explosion was not caused by a monster or anything of the sort. GO."

"Wu-what? That's some vague order." He exclaimed. "I'll be in a bit, see you... not so soon, Celestia."

-Some Random Field Between Canterlot And Ponyville-

It was now starting to get around the time of day that the night should start, but Luna could tell Celestia had gone on one of her episodes of panic. The sun was still very high up in the sky, and it definitely was not moving for a while. Luna had been flying towards Ponyville since she had left the throne room, because if there was one way to make her sister come to her senses, was to bring all available information on the issue at hoof.

But Luna, unlike Celestia, kept a cool head when confronted with potentially deadly and world-ending things. So she would not forget of her main task as a princess of the night simply because Equestria COULD be in some form of danger.

Luna stopped flying and landed on a small hill to raise the moon.

"Guess tonight we'll get another eclipse," she said while remembering how this was the 2nd eclipse this month alone.

And then the moon started rising as Luna worked her 'Princess Lunar Magiks' , and looking very awe-inspiring while she did it. That is, until the moon started spinning in circles and the stars arranged themselves in a way that spelled something.

"Huh? What!?" Luna gasped. "Why in Equestria are my stars spelling out 'loading'?"

She could only watch as the moon suddenly faded away, which made Luna take a step back, and the stars then spelled out 'Equestrian Sky v1.7 has encountered a fatal error. Restarting Equestrian Sky.' After that, the sky turned pitch black, and strange whirring noises came out of nowhere. After a couple intense seconds that Luna spent gnawing at her hoofguards, the sky suddenly lit up in blue. Not a natural sky blue, but the kind of blue you would expect a swimming pool to be. Then the stars spelled out a final message, 'Welcome to Equestrian Sky v1.7. Please enter your 32-digit PIN to login.'

Luna made sure to look for any clues she could as she looked up with terror at the sky. HER sky, her baby, which had a small print in the very corner, close to the horizon...

"It says... Discordant Inc."

"Excellent! Now that we know you can read, put in the PIN. Fixing the sky is hard work, you know. Not every deity can simply hack the universe to fix a small coding error that causes, you kow, what just happened."

Did I mention that Luna was pissed at Discord yet? "DISCORD! YOU PIECE OF S-"

Author's Note

Hey guys! I made a new chapter, even though it took a small while. I started this 3 days ago, actually, but I kept getting sidetracked on Bored Panda and Facebook and all these sites that i only managed to finish it now. But the end result seems like a small improvement over the last couple chapters I wrote, since it is longer and has higher quality. Hope you like it, because I feel the next chapters will bring back Sparky, and the plot will then pick up! (I think.) :facehoof:

Kidnapping Treaty of Peace

It was late at night. Luna and Discord had started looking for the place where the explosion had taken place, after they had agreed to work together, if only during emergencies. They had been flying for what felt like hours for both of them, and they really didn't feel like talking to one another.

And then they saw something.

"Oh look, it's a cat. Wonder why he's got a hard hat." Discord said, as he landed back on the ground from his hovering stance. "He looks suspicious. Doesn't he look suspicious, Luna?"

Luna sighed. "Whatever, Discord. Do you see any evidence of explosions anywhere around? We only came here for this, after all. Not cats with hard hats."

The cat looked at Luna as if there was something very wrong with her face. He then turned around, and started back towards some bushes.

"Why did the cat scowl at me? I'm a pretty pony princess, Discord. Nopony scowls at me. Unless.... they don't like me.." Luna started thinking about what she had seen so far. "Wait a minute, we just saw a cat wearing a hard hat, it looked at me funny, like it didn't want me here, and left as if ..."

"It was GUILTY!" Discord proclaimed, raising a finger as if to make a point to all who were present, which was only Luna and himself. "We must follow the cat, Luna. The result of our mission depends on that cat with the hard hat, so we must follow it to its den."

"Finally. Let's see where he goes." Luna answered.

"OR we could put a tracking spell on the cat and come back in the morning." said Discord, feeling rather tired.

"Or we could do that, then." Luna said as she cast the spell on the cat.

-MORNING-

Sparky Blaze had already gotten up when Zippo came in by the open kitchen door as he prepared breakfast for the day ahead.

"Oh hey, Zippo." He said.

"Meow, meow."

That was all Sparky needed to hear to know that Zippo was all well and good. He tried to grab his cereal box from the counter with his magic as he opened a drawer to pick up a bowl, but the cereal wasn't budging.

"Dang, I guess I'm still not fully awake then." Sparky mumbled as he grabbed the cereal with his hooves.

Having both a bowl and the cereal, he then poured some milk and completed the making of his cereal bowl. The unicorn then proceeded to walk over to his living room, cereal bowl on his back, where he would then spend his time eating and reading some books he borrowed from the library to help him infuse bombs with magic.

"The bomb definitely had magic in it yesterday when it went off, but it seemed to not actually irradiate the effects of the 'No Hurting Ponies' spell I plastered on it." He spoke between spoons of cereal, " but the yield of the bomb seemed to have been tripled or even quadrupled with the magic. I mean, look at how many holes my wall has!"

His house was still a mess from the blast the day before, with shrapnel stuck on the walls facing the bomb range area, but Sparky Blaze promised himself that he would fix it up sometime some other day.

Then the doorbell rang.

Setting down his bowl of cereal, Sparky walked over to the door and opened it with as much enthusiasm as a prisoner would have locking his own cell, which is to say he took his time.

Behind the door were two very powerful individuals which the yellow unicorn was definitely not expecting, and was most definitely not going to disrespect. After all, they didn't know about the damage he caused to the fields, right?

"Uhh, can I help you, Princess Luna and 'Taxidermy Gone Wrong'?"

All he could remember was being struck in the face by multiple spells and being tossed into a glowing portal.

Author's Note

Well, this one took a while. I'm really busy these days, but I'll keep writing! It just might take a while. Hope this makes up for the lateness. ;)

Please Tell The Sun Where We're Going

-Some time before-

Luna and Discord had returned to canter lot after they cast a tracking spell on the suspicious hard hat cat, but preparations for finding whatever evil force that had blocked almost all magical usage by all creatures was still far from over. The first thing to do before all else though was to let Princess Celestia know about how things were going so far. Discord and Luna drew straws, and it was decided that Luna was to take care of it.

So Luna went over to her bed quarters, opened her armory cabinet, and put on her full set of armour.

“I believe I am set for the task now, but I still think this won't do any good.” Luna said as she adjusted the straps on her chest piece.

So Luna started going over to Celestia's quarters, but then she noticed there were no guards at the door. In fact, there weren't any guards to be seen anywhere inside the castle at all.

Luna thought for a minute, and figured out why.” It must mean they are all attending to Tia, I think. She does go overkill when she goes all 'super-motherly' on the bearers.”

Then she heard some banging. Some banging coming from the throne room. The very same room that the element bearers were in with a half-crazed princess.

With some crazy spurt of energy, the blue alicorn half-flew to the throne room at incredible speed.

Luna looked at one of the guards that were close to the throne room door. “THY PRINCESS IS HERE! WHAT IS THE MATTER?”

“My princess! I'm so glad you're here!” The guard said, saluting.

“Yes, I am here! What are you guard doing!?” Luna screamed.

The guard took a few steps back. “You see, princess, we are trying to knock down the door to the throne room.”

Luna put her hoofs on his shoulder and smiled. “Why, tell me, why are you DEFACING MY CASTLE?”

Some guards would later say the poor guard wet his armour that moment. “W-we are trying to rescue princess twilight sparkle, your highness! We can't open the door! It won't budge! Don't kill me!”

Luna and a few other guards face hoofed at his expense, before Luna replied, “I won't kill you, but why does twilight need rescuing?”

Another guard replied, “because we heard someone in there say: help me, I'm twilight, Celestia is almost molesting me in a motherly way! Can't use magic, send help!”

Luna made a face. “And you need to break down the door and save her because...?”

“Didn't you hear me!?” The poor guard half whined. “ Princess twilight is trapped with some evil monster that stole her magic and is impersonating Princess Celestia!”

“Ah.” Luna sighed.

She then looked around at the guards who were assisting the 'rescue'. There were no unicorns anywhere to be seen.

She approached another guard, a Pegasus, and asked why there were no unicorn guards anywhere.

“Well, Princess, they all called in sick today, saying their magic wasn't as good as it should be or something.” The Pegasus answered.

“So, no unicorns at all came to work today?” Luna asked.

“There are one or two unicorns in the castle, but no unicorn guards.” He answered.

Luna thanked him, and thought on what she should do now. Then a rogue thought appeared on her mind, and sadly for her, it was the only one.

“Okay, calm down, I got this.” Luna put on a smug smile as she finished speaking. “One, two, three, Discord.”

Luna felt a breath on her mane. She turned around, slightly spooked, and saw nothing.

“Miss me, Moon Butt?” The draconeqqus asked.

“Gack!” Luna gasped as she lost footing and fell to the floor.

A few guards giggled as she stood back up, and some were simply too stunned to react.

“Discord, don't do that! We have a deal!” Luna screeched.

“Ah yes, the quote on quote, 'deal'.” Discord said.

Luna pointed at the door and told him why she called him. “Discord, we have a situation here. My sister is keeping the element bearers in captivity due to her motherly instinct and the prospect of a magic-draining monster like Tirek.”

Discord put on some shades. “Then you want me to open the door, am I right?”

Luna nodded.

“Then say no more! It's as good as done!” He exclaimed, smiling.

Some seconds pass before the whole situation becomes awkward.

“Aren't you going to open the... oh I see.” Luna said. “You already opened it.”

“Yep.”

“Then let's get this settled and then find where the cat from last night is.” Luna said, smiling.

As Luna and Discord opened the throne room doors, a pair of pony ninjas clad in black grabbed them and tackled them both in.

“We should leave. Shit's getting real.” One guard said to his comrades.

“Agreed.” They answered.

Author's Note

So we have yet another chapter! I managed to find a way to write modest amounts of words per week semi-reliably now, so chapter updates should be a little more frequent and of higher word count. Hope you guys are enjoying the story!

Btw, I need a proofreader soon, since I don't have much spare time nowadays, and editing all my mistakes takes a lot of potential writing time from me. If anyone wants to or knows someone, please tell me!

See you next chapter! :pinkiehappy:

The Meeting Of The Unfellowhood

"Why and how did you open this door? Explain yourselves!" One of the captors demanded.

"Because we-" Luna said before she was interrupted by a prod from a spear. "Hey, stop it!"

"Scale, I told you NOT to prod them!" A female voice said from behind the throne.

The cloaked captor quickly withdrew his spear, and made a low buzzing sound.

Discord heard it instantly. "Say, Moon Butt, what makes buzzing noises and likes to overthrow princesses?" He asked.

Luna looked at him with a sneer. "Discord, this is no time for charades! We are being held captive by these... uhm, these..." Luna then understood what he meant. "Oh I see."

The 'captors' were now shuffling around nervously.

The female voice spoke once again, with a chuckle this time. "Oh please! You'd think the princess of the night would've figured it out faster, but no! The animal collage has to hint it to her!"

Along with the voice, Celestia was heard chuckling as well.

That made Luna remember why she was in there. "What did you do to her, Chrysallis?"

The answer was a chuckle that soon evolved into a full-blown hysterical laugh. Celestia then walked out from behind the throne room, only to have a book thrown at her face by Luna.

"I know it is you, Bug Queen! Stop using my sister's image, NOW!" Luna shouted as she grabbed a whole bookshelf with her magic.

Celestia's eyes opened wide as she saw the bookcase floating in front of her, and by pure chance, Chrysallis chose that moment to walk out from behind the throne. As soon as Luna saw her, she shot the bookcase at her.

She took it as well as anypony could in that situation. In the muzzle.

"LUNA! What is wrong with you!?" Celestia rushed to check Chrysallis. "I called her here to help me protect the element bearers from whatever thing sucked the magic from everypony."

"Excuse ME for trying to reach my own SISTER to tell her about how there is NO monster anywhere!" Luna fumed.

Celestia frowned a bit. "That's why you left? I was worried sick that you ran off doing whatever and got attacked by the magic sucking monster, which by the way, we need to find."

"For the last time, THERE IS NO MONSTER ANYWHERE!" Luna screamed with her royal canterlot voice, and anypony awake during that time heard it.

"Are you ok in there, Princess Luna? Should we send backup?" One of the guards outside asked.

"I'm fine, thank you!" Luna said.

Discord couldn't handle any more time wasting on the princesses' behalf. He wanted to just tell everyone how there was a cat, an evil cat, close by ground zero. Discord disliked cats, especially when they looked shiftier than him, and that cat was definitely shifty, with his hard hat and whatnot. So he decided to move everything along.

"There was this one cat..." Discord said, as he started recalling to Celestia what he and Luna had seen during the night.

By the time the Changeling queen woke up, Celestia was sure she had a plan, which of course she would not be a part of.

"It's settled!" Celestia announced. "Discord and Luna will find where the cat lives, and will interrogate the owner, while the element bearers will hide some distance away along with two changeling escorts to shoot their friendship laser on the monster!"

"There is no- actually, forget it" Luna sighed. "It's a good plan, I guess."

"We shall leave at sunrise!" Chrysallis said.

Celestia then rose the sun instantly, startling all who were awake to see it.

"Shall we go?" Celestia asked, smiling a bit.

Author's Note

Ok, that's another chapter done! Next one should probably move the story back into the present moment, and move the story along. Sparky Blaze will make a much bigger appearance now that the plot arches back as to why Luna and Discord were at his house punching him in the face. See you at the next chapter! :pinkiehappy: