A Purposeful Passing
Chapter 4: Tuxedo Torture
Previous ChapterI walked through the market, searching up and down the rows while picking up the items on Granny's list. Just from the grocery list alone I could tell what she needed these items for. A loaf of bread, sugar, cinnamon, and white grape raisins, these are some of the ingredients she uses in her apple and raisin bread pudding. That dessert is some of finest tasting material your tongue will ever taste. The texture of the bread, the spice of the cinnamon, the crunch of the apples, the sweetness of the grapes, all wrapped into a single pan of heaven. The finest chefs in all of Equestria could never come close to Granny's bread pudding.
I had almost finished most of the shopping but I still needed the white grape raisins. I looked around the market, searching everywhere until I laid my eyes on a dry fruit stand. I walked over towards the stand and as I grew closer, I noticed the immense amount of product the salespony had to offer. He had every kind of dried fruit, bananas, apples, strawberries, peaches, cherries, you name it. My eyes scanned around for raisins and I saw in a little basket by the register was a single box of white grape raisins.
I walked up to the cashier and pointed at the box of raisins, "I would like those raisins please, how much are they," I asked.
The cashier looked at me with a sympathetic look. "Sorry son," he said with gruff voice, "Those raisins have already been reserved by someone else and they're the last box I have."
I looked at him surprised, how can a box of raisins be so important that they need to reserved? "I really need those raisins, I'll pay you double of whatever he is paying."
"Sorry pal, but SHE told me not to sell it to anypony no matter how much they offer. And I do owe her, she did after all create my daughters dress for her birthday," he quickly glances over my shoulder and waves, "And here she comes now."
I turned around and saw a unicorn filly, about my age, with a white coat, a dark purple mane that curled down at the bottom, a twisty purple tail, and a cutie mark in the shape of three bright diamonds. My jaw nearly dropped at the sight of her beauty. This filly was far more beautiful than the words could describe. My legs trembled, my heart raced, and beads of sweat formed on my forehead. I shook my head and brought myself back into reality. What you doing you idiot!? Stay focused, you need to get those raisins if you want that slice of heaven in your mouth tonight.
She walked past me and conjured five bits from her pouch she had wrapped around her body. "Here you go Gruff," she said in an elegant voice, "Thank you for keeping these on hold for me."
"Sure thing Rarity, this guy here tried to convince me to sell the raisins to him but I wouldn't falter."
The filly, known as Rarity, turned to look at me, "Oh? And what do you need these white grape raisins for?"
My thoughts scrambled as I tried to think of what to say. "I-I-I don't need them b-but a friend of mine n-n-needs them for a recipe."
"Well I do too need these raisins for a recipe as well, unless your friend needs them more."
I figured there would be no way I could reason with this filly. We both need them for the same purpose, whether she is making the same thing is beyond me. I knew I had to something, Granny rarely makes this dish and when she does the world becomes a much brighter place. There's only thing I could do now, "Listen I really need these raisins. I'll be willing to pay you whatever you want for these raisins. I'll do anything!"
"Really," she said with a curious look, "Anything?" Her eyes began to scan my body. I regret ever saying those words. The last thing I need today is a filly looking for a fun time. She began to walk around my body, taking mental notes on my appearance, "Yes, you just might work."
"Uh, just might work for what," I ask perplexed.
She turned to look at the cashier, "Thanks for holding these raisins again for me Gruff," she turned back to me, "You come with me," and she began walking towards the north end of town.
Before I followed her I looked back at Gruff, "Do you have any idea what she may want me for?"
"Probably," he said, "But I should warn you that most of her subjects usually leave her place in pain."
Subjects? Pain? Shit I'm about to be freaking experimented on. I began following her, regretting every step I took. If this is the price of getting heaven shoved in your mouth, I better get an extra large slice tonight.
We walked for a few minutes until we came to this big, extremely fancy house that almost looked like a circus tent for the sweet and elite. To describe it will take a life time but for the sake of keeping this chapter within a few thousand words I'm just going to say it looks like a clown went to Canterlot, spending about a month among all the high class ponies. When he came back he was so inspired by the high class culture that he decided to construct a house that would combine the culture of circuses and the high class. He had to move out because the construction was so expensive it wasted his entire bank account. Not too long later, this filly and her family move in only because she enjoyed the fun and fancy design to the house.
She walked me inside and the entire place is freaking boutique. If there is one place I hate the most it's freaking boutiques. Way too high prices for pieces of fabric that I can order from Ehay for a fifth of the price. Not to mention a lot of the dresses offered are complete eyesores and most really shouldn't be called clothes in the first place. Rarity points me over to a stand with three big mirrors around it, "Stand over there and wait for a moment." She dashes behind a set of curtains and disappears for a minute.
I get on the stand and gaze around the room. The whole place is designed with dark purples, golds and whites. There are a bunch of curtain closed closets, manikins wearing dresses all over the place, and behind me is a curved staircase. Ok honestly the dresses here are not that bad, but I still don't enjoy looking at. Good for a distraction but not something I want to keep looking at. After about five minutes, Rarity dashed out here with a cart full of, ugh, tuxedos. As cool as they may look, they are not comfortable. I had to wear one last year because Big Mac took me to this formal public concert at the local park venue and Granny forced use to wear tuxedos. We were both sweaty, hot, and beyond uncomfortable. Since then we've vowed to never wear anything so uncomfortable again.
Well I am about to break that because Rarity began putting on the tuxes and was taking measurements and writing down notes on a clipboard she had with her. Within fifteen minutes she had put five tuxedos on me, out of thirty and yes I did count the total. Each one of those suits made me itch and cringe in each fitting. She makes adjustments on each of the suits by pinning up sleeves or whatever else needed to be adjusted. "So," I said as she was putting the next suit on me, "Is there a reason why you want to shove me into some of the most uncomfortable outfits I have been in." That comment caused a pin to go straight into the right front leg, it felt like a wasp sting. While it seemed like she intended to seem like an accident, it felt on purpose.
"Uncomfortable," she said in an offended tone, "I'll have you know my dresses have been some of the most comfortable clothing in all of Equestria."
"Oh yeah," I said with a smirk, "What about tuxedos?"
"This is my first time," she said as she continued to work, "I needed you because you are have the perfect body form for my suits. Every other model I've tried has either been too short, too tall, too thin or too fat. Your form is perfect for my suits, 5'9" shoulders, 16" neck, 31" waist, and a perfectly sized hind."
"Excuse me!?"
She began taking the suit off me after her adjustments were done, "I'm trying to expand my market by offering tuxedos to stallions. Like I said, every model I used here in Ponyville didn't work, but you are the perfect stallion for my suits." She walked back to the cart and searched through the other suits.
"I'm not a stallion."
She stopped and looked back at me with a curious look, "Oh, well if that's what you identify as, I won't judge," she then went back to searching. Hold up, does she think I'm a..?
"What, no I mean I'm not a full grown stallion, I'm only 13 years old."
She stopped searching again, looked back at me again but with wide eyes of amazement and her jaw dropped. The reaction is natural to me, anytime I tell people I'm younger than they think that look appears. "Amazing, how are you so large in size?"
"I work for the Apple family, I buck the trees and haul the cargo. In return they take care of me and let me sleep in their house."
She pulled off another suit and walked back, "Interesting, how long have you been working for them?"
"About 3 or 4 years. They've been really nice to me and I'm really grateful for their hospitality." She started putting the suit on me as we conversed.
"What about your family, don't they miss you?"
"I uh...I rather not talk about it."
"That's okay," she said as she was making adjustments, "It's not my place to ask."
"So what about you?"
"What about me?"
"What's a young filly like you running a big place like this?"
"Oh I'm not young, I'm actually 17."
Remember that face of when ponies find out I'm younger, well that's my face right now, "Wait, you're 17?"
"Yes I know, I look younger than I actually am. Guess I'm like you but opposite."
"So why are you all the way out here by yourself, you seem like you fit better in Canterlot or Manehattan."
"I used to live where ever my parents took me and my sister. My father and mother are traveling sales ponies. We would stay in one place for about two weeks average, we stayed in Maretreal the longest, almost month. When I was 16 I got a little tired of traveling all over Equestria, so I convinced my parents to drop me off here in Ponyville since I enjoyed the small town aspect of this place when we visited here once."
"What about your education?"
"Oh I finished my education when I was 15, I skipped a few grades."
"So you've been living here all by yourself for the past year?"
"Well I won't be by myself for long, when I turn 18 in a few months my sister will be staying with me." She continued to prim and adjust the suit on me, "That should do it, come now lets get you into the next suit."
She removed the clothes from my body and and went back to cart to grab another suit, "How much longer until you're done?"
"About 24 more suits," I let a pretty loud groan, "don't worry, it won't take long."
Yeah that's a big lie, after going through 26 suits 3 hours of my life were wasted. By the time it was all over, my body had so many cuts from pins that I felt like a freaking connect the dots picture. The cashier wasn't kidding when he said that all of her "subjects" walked out of her shop in pain. But I guess it was all worth it since she held up her end of the bargain and gave me the much desired white grape raisins. We shook hooves and wished each other a good evening since the sun was just dipping down. I made my way home as quickly as possible before it became too dark. I just wanted to get home and go straight to bed at this point. The thought of having that bread pudding no longer mattered to me.
When I got to the farm, I went inside and Applejack was sitting there on the couch waiting for me. The sun was half way down when arrived, so of course I was late. She looked straight at me, didn't say hi or anything just "Where were you, it shouldn't have taken you that long to get a few groceries."
I looked at her and said, "Hello to you two."
"Where were you Sharpedge?"
I just walked over and handed her the bag of groceries, "Let's just say that to get these raisins was not worth 3 hours of being stuffed into 30 different tuxedos."
She gave me a weird look, "What are talking," than she realized what I meant, "Oh, Rarity?"
"Yeah," I turned and made my way to the stairs, "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to cover myself in about a hundred band aids and I'm heading straight to bed. I have had about enough crazy stuff happen to me today." I made my up the stairs and did exactly as I said.
I laid in bed and waited to fall asleep. Hopefully tomorrow can be a little bit normal than today was. Between getting thrown into a cabbage cart, getting cut with a hundred different pins, meeting the ultimate super ego, and getting dressed by the mare version of Ralph Lauren, I just hope I can have a peaceful and restful night.
I opened my eyes and found myself in the middle of a wasteland. I look around and there is nothing but sand, wind and dark clouds. I walk through the land to see if I can find something or someone out here. The wind is harsh, each grain of sand that hits me is like getting blasted with a hundred knives. I can barely see out here, I squint my eyes to shield them from the sand but it does nothing to aid my vision. I continue to walk until I felt the wind turn cold. Suddenly a ghostly figure appears in the distance. "Hello," I shout to it, "Do you know where I am?" The figure doesn't respond.
I make my way towards the figure but then a voice appears in the wind. "Sharpedge, help me," it whispers.
"Who's there," I shout back hoping for an answer. No response. I ignore it and continue my way to the figure, actually figures now. A second figure is now standing next to the original. I ignore the second and keep making my way to the first figure.
The voice comes out again, "Help me Sharpedge," it whispers again but clearer this time. The voice sounds familiar but I can't put my hoof on it. I ignore it and continue walking towards the now three figures?
I stop, now this had me concerned. Where are these other figures coming from? I begin to think that these people might be trouble so I turn around with intention of walking away from them. But those three figures appeared right in front of me, scaring the living daylight out of me. I suddenly recognize each one them, all three had the spitting image of my sister. But each one had a symptom of the Grim Reaper disease. The one on the left is whiter than a ghost, the middle has blood red eyes and the right one has blood spilling from her mouth. All three looked up at me and started saying "Help me Sharpedge" in this high pitch, deafening voice. I cover my ears and shouted at them to get away but they kept on coming at me. Each scream felt like I was getting a sword shoved in my ears. I wanted it stop but no matter how much I beg it wouldn't stop. Finally, I woke up.
My breath was heavy and I'm covered in sweat. I take few breaths to calm myself. What did I do to deserve this kind of torment? How much longer until I can finally be free of this curse?
