Broken Spirits

Chapter 2: Guilt

I pulled myself up into a sitting position with my chin rested on my knees, and stared at my self proclaimed master. My head still rang with pain from what ever he had done to me, and I didn't want a repeat performance. A slight draft went through the cave we sat in, and reminded me of my lack of clothing. Shivers ran through me once more. My body felt off, and strangely right at the same time, though with the goat staring at me I didn't explore further. I wrapped my legs up in my arms as tight as I could in a futile attempt to ward off the cold air.

“Are you prepared?” my master asked. “There is much that I must teach you, before you shall be able to serve my purposes.”

“I...” I stammered out. My voice was much higher pitched than I had expected for some reason, though why I held such a expectation was beyond me. “Forgive me, but the cold is making it hard to collect my thoughts.”

“Hmm, your kind does seem to be lacking in any fur,” the old goat stated dryly. “I shall fix your predicament.”

A green glow over took a large piece of a stalagmite and broke the tip off. Floating in air the piece of rock glided over to my master, coated in the same sickly green as the orb between his horns. Slowly the glow intensified, though not making the room brighter, and the rock was engulfed by the strange magic. Squished and pulled the rock slowly transformed into a makeshift robe which fell at my feet.

“There,” My master stated. “You should no longer have any distractions. Let us begin.”

I fed my arms and head through the robe and returned to my sit looking expectantly at my master. I wondered what he wanted to show me. My mind raced with half concocted idea's of strange magics, or equally strange technology, and their uses. Images of jumpsuit clad people with black lowers and only along their shoulders was there color in their uniforms ran to and from in my head, along with a strange bow with a lightning shaped scar, though I couldn't remember the details to this images. I nodded my head, and stayed quiet waiting for my master to begin.

From out of nowhere a book appeared engulfed in the sickly green aura, floating in front of me. A semi-loud pop accompanied the book's appearance. The large tome was leather bound and had strange arcane circles carved into the front, and from its appearance was well used. There was no title but the book emanated a sense of importance.

“You will read this,” my Master commanded. “But first, as your eyes aren't made for it, I must teach you to make light with your magic. Your kind have no knowledge of this art so I shall show you through possession.”

For a moment, Master's eyes glowed green and then he was no more. A sudden pressure through out my body replaced his presence. For a second I was stunned, where had he gone but I could not seem to turn my head to look around. My head shook back and forth of it's own volition for a second, as if it was trying to shake something loose, and then a pain built around my brow, as the pressure there intensified. After a few moments the pain subsided, but not the pressure.

“I shall show you how to access your magic now,” I said, though not by my own will. A light slowly flickered into existence above my head showering the world in a strange light red glow. I could feel a sense of energy flowing from my chest towards my head and the tingling bits of my brow. For a few more moments I sat there just feeling the flow. “That should be enough.”

With a flash of green, Master stood before me once more and the pressure inside me disappeared. My body grew heavy and I fell to my side, the world spinning as I did.

“You are weaker than I expected,” Master stated. “Maybe rest is in order. But first, you must eat.”

Another green glow filled the room and I could feel some strange wind blew through the room, though my hair did not move with it. A strange smell reached my nose, a cross between sickly sweat and dust, which was pleasant to my surprise. Master forced down my throat a strange cold substance which lacked any form to it but still left my throat coated in a strange film. Slowly warmth spread through me, starting from my stomach.

“Sleep now,” my master commanded. And I did.

The world returned from the strange blackness of my sleep, reminding me of my awkward position on the cavern floor. My body complained about my lack of bedding as I pushed myself up from the uneven rock. Master wasn't here as far as I could tell, there was no light, only the small trickling of the creak that ran through the room.

I needed light, and I tried to push out some in the same fashion as last night. I could feel the strange energy ball up in my chest, near my heart. I tried to pull the magic upwards towards my brow, as Master had done himself last night. He had done it...

My concentration broke as nausea filled me, master hadn't forced me or asked me to cast the magic. He had taken my form and done it himself. Nothing in me felt right for a while, as I cradled my head against the floor. Pushing my hands upwards across my brow, I found sharp extrusions that were not supposed to be there. Small nub like horns protruded from either side of my brow, their growth had been the pain last night.

Eventually I calmed. I couldn't run from what was my reality, even if something at the back of my mind screamed that all of this was wrong, a wrong that couldn't be defined. Still I shook my worries from my head, and reached to my magic again. Slowly I could feel the energy rotate in my chest tightening and coiling. Slowly I pulled it upwards towards my small horns, towards it's release. Manicness filled my head as the energy flowed up my neck. My horns slowly warmed up, and the magic started to spill out into a small orb floating above my head. Cupping my hands, I willed the orb to my hands, and it obeyed.

The ruby light cast shadows all around me and illuminated the book my master had given me, my first gift, I think though even that felt wrong. Still I grabbed my book with one hand, the other still held my orb of light. The shadows that surround us seemed more friendly than last night, for reasons I couldn't put my hand on. So much of this world seemed off, though it was all I knew. I tried to pull memories from before yesterday but nothing came forward but a jumbled mess of emotions.

Ignoring my past for now, I sat down and flipped to the first page of my book. The book had a large introduction, that seemed to be written in a strange script, one I had never seen before but somehow still could read.

The dark arts have long been hidden from those in the light. Cast aside as corruptive and abusive, they have lingered on only through the will of the most persistent and often times most desperate members of society. Still you now hold in your grasp the most important and basic of spells amongst the dark arts. This book shall teach you the basics of each of the various fields, and in doing so help you find your true calling in the shadows.

For something that seemed to be a forbidden art, the book seemed to be trying to sell itself much more than I had expected. Still master thought this book was important for me to read, and as such I would. Though I questioned how much I would actually be able to learn from it, magic seemed so very complex to me. I turned to the first of the spells located in the book. A strange circular diagram was laid out before me, which seemed so very arcane to me. I could barely grasp the meanings of the circle, but the words below seemed better.

This is the most basic of dark magic, drain life, with it one can pull the life force from your enemies, and if one is skilled enough in its use you can heal your own wounds with it. First one must properly form the spell circle in your mind. This step is far more important for dark magics than other types of spells for they often have much more severe consequences if miscast, especially for the user. After forming your spell matrix, spell circle held in ones mind for the unenlightened, simply push mana through it and direct it at your intended target. This version of the spell when cast without a target will seek out, if properly cast, the nearest potential target and sap them. This property makes it a useful spell for detecting invisible or hidden enemies, because the spell causes plenty of pain often disrupting their efforts to hide.

I dared not to try such a spell, especially with master no where to be seen. There were small fish in the pool nearby but I felt queasy when they popped in my head as a potential target. There must be spells in here that would be less harmful to others that I could test my powers on.

I flipped through the book looking for the first spell which wasn't intended to hurt or maim those targeted, eventually I came across the section for animation and summoning, which seemed like less likely to make my consciouses rebel. The first of the spells seemed ideal, a restoration spell for corpses, but without such a target that seemed pointless. The spell did warn that when cast on living it normally caused complications that often turned cancerous. Turning to the next spell I found something that seemed more do able, to summon a spirit from beyond the grave.

Despite the name of the spell, this spell is not in fact summoning but more a creation rite for ghosts and other types of spirits. Intangible minions come with a number of useful attributes, but those come at the expense of other uses. Spirits make great scouts and spies, for little can hurt them or contain them. They also are often capable of hiding themselves from the view of the living. With that said, they have little means of interacting with the world, save for the most powerful of spirits, leaving them little more than watchers and message delivers. One word of cation, spirits are intelligent and more importantly can be stolen from your control. As such it is recommended to use once and then dispose of your scouts so that your enemies do not gain access to their information as well.

The creation of spirits all start with a soul, while one can make spirit-like creatures without one it is exceedingly more difficult to do so. One must, as always, form spell matrix one carefully, missteps here can cause the created spirit to run rampant and free from control. Apply the enchantment to the held soul, usually kept confined in a gem to prevent derogation of an unhoused soul. The enchantment will take time to fully take effect, this may vary depending on the target soul and the will of the caster but will normally not take more than an hour. Once the control mechanism is complete the transformation from soul to fully fledged spirit can begin. Such a transformation will often naturally occur for any souls trapped in a gem for too long, and can take years to do so, but for our intentions such time is far too long. Spell matrix two will greatly accelerate that process, though there are a number of tweaks one can do once more experienced with this spell to alter the end results of your spirit. It is important to note that under most circumstances one should put the barest minimum of mana into this part of the spell, the more used the more likely of a greater spirit forming, which are much more difficult to control.

This spell seemed less cruel, though once again I lacked the materials to actually perform such a feat. I turned back to the beginning of the book and read from there, being more thorough this time through. Some time later the echo of hooves slowly crept into the cavern. Still the sound barely grew in loudness as the pages passed. Some twenty pages further in green light started to mix with my own red glow. Master was back.

He stepped into the cavern, his back burdened by a large sack which squirmed from time to time. Master violently dropped the bag and approached me. Again his eyes danced with his emotions, though this time they seemed happy. A happy which filled me with dread beyond what any had ever before.

“I am pleased with you,” Master stated. “I was concerned that you would still be too weak to further your lessons today. That would have been such a waste. Still I have a gift for you.”

Master smiled revealing his sharp pointed teeth that looked out of place in his goat form. The sack slowly was drawn off the form of some sort of horse, or maybe a pony. The creature was also bigger than myself. A sickly green aura engulfed the pony and floated it over to us, it hanging limply in the air. Unceremoniously Master dumped the pony before me. I could see its shallow breath being drawn in. I darted my eyes up to master and then to the fallen form before me. Master's smile grew all the more wicked.

“Wake,” Master commanded. The horse did so slowly. “Libra, take this and slit her throat.”

Master levitated a simple dagger over to me. My hands began to shake. I didn't want to hurt this creature, she had done nothing to me. She was defenseless, and just needed help. Maybe, I could convince master otherwise.

“Ma-master,” I stammered. “There's no nee..”

“Oh but there is,” Master interrupted me. “Kill her.”

I had to listen. I had to obey. I fought the desire. It was wrong but it hurt to hesitate, burning foremost in the middle of my brow. The pain was building rapidly, and my hands, still shaking, gripped the blade's handle. I lifted the blade high above my head.

“Please,” the horse said in a decidedly female voice. “Don't. I don't want to die.”

The blade made the oddest noise as it penetrated her flesh. Warm blood rushed out the wound as I pulled the blade back above my head. Tears streamed down my checks as my arms came down again and again, each leaving another jagged hole in the poor pony before me. Her screams of pain faded to a whimper and then stopped all together. My stomach boiled with guilt, as I looked upon my blood soaked hands.

“Drink,” Master commanded. “Drink the lifeblood of your first victim.”

Slowly I leaned over the dead pony leaning my head all the way over to the growing pool of blood. Slowly I licked the warm liquid off the rocky surface, tasting strangely of metal. My stomach revolted but after a small amount of liquid my wretches dried. Master chortled at my discomfort. My vision of him colored effectively, I steeled myself for his next order.

“What spells have you read in the book?” Master asked.

“I have read about the drain life spell, a few variations of that, and the summon spirit spell,” I answered dryly. Master wasn't done with this mare's suffering.

“Hmm,” Master sat thinking for a moment. His greenish aura engulfed the dead mare, pulling something intangible from her, and pushed it inside a gem pried from the wall. “You will make a spirit for me. I shall make use of the corpse.”

He set the gem near me, and walked away with the corpse suspended in his aura. Left alone in my guilt and grief. The blood on my hands wouldn't wash off no mater how many times I would try. The small pool of water was tinted red with the blood from both my hands and that which seeped into its feeding creak.

Master had left me with a command, one I could chose to ignore, but both the fear of pain inflicted by his voice and a chance of at least being able to truly apologize to my victim. I went to the book and flipped to the next spell of the drain life, the fish had no part in my guilt but still they would serve regardless.

Life energies have a multitude of uses as covered in the previous spells, but its healing properties have only so much use. Still the energy of life can be channeled to other means than healing, furthering your ability to strike down your enemies. A word of caution, self feeding spells that draw from the life force around them, are innately unstable and without proper care, are non-prejudiced, sometimes pulling the caster into the spells harm. Still the uses of such spells are likely not lost on you. The following is one of the most basic of conversion spells, and shall simply power an instantaneous spell. Other longer lasting power draws are beyond the preview of this book.

This would work, I would push as much into the spirit as possible. For the briefest of seconds, doubt plagued my mind. I stared at the symbols for the control elements in the circle doing my best to recreate it in my head which took much more time than I had expected. Still as I poured my magic into the matrix my will extended towards the gem. A soft red glow engulfed the gem and I could feel the pain held within. I tried to be gentle, to comfort, and what ever came through to the soul trapped in the gem, it seemed to work as she stopped fighting my work. Soon enough the enchantment seemed to fall into place.

With step one fulfilled I flipped back to drain spell. The circle for this one was much less complex, and after a few minutes of staring, it was properly stored in my mind. The fish had no chance as their hearts fluttered for the last time, their energy being pulled from them. I could feel a small addition to my own magic, which was strangely separate from my normal source. I bowed my head in respect for the briefest of moments, but then turned back to the task at hand. A third circle and a third casting, I pushed all of the mana I could into this part, the spell eating it up greedily. Far sooner than I would have liked my mana ran low and weariness started to fill my form, still I pushed for a bit more trying to pull every last bit from my form into the creation of this spirit. Drained I dropped to my knees, my spell finished.

The ruby glow of the gem shifted, slowly changing from red to purple to blue, and small wispy tendrils started to leak from the gem. They grew in number till the gem was surrounded entirely in a foot deep mass of ectoplasm, which expanded out wards for some time. Soon the shapeless blob started to coalesces into a more recognizable form. The mare's face was replicated for the most part, though the image before me was distorted slightly, leaving an unsettling appearance to her. The dark eyes that started to come to life were filled with such sadness. Her form filled out, flowing out from her head, two front legs and a long wispy tail where her back legs once belonged. Still she seemed more real than should be possible for a ghost by my standards.

The fatigue of my spell work took its toll on me and it took all my effort to not pass out. I said, “I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.”

My world faded to black.