Mastication means chewing, you pervs
Twilight Sparkle sat at the table, eyeing up the enormous Christmas dinner that Spike had prepared for her and the other Elements of Harmony: roast goose, potatoes, carrots, parsnips, sprouts, a large boiled ham, and bacon-wrapped sausages.
She rubbed her slightly rounded tummy. "Yum." Twilight licked her lips and smiled with a mixture of awe and anticipation.
She looked across at the postcard sitting on the mantle piece over the fire. I hope the girls are having a good time in Manehattan, she thought. A bit rude of Discord not to invite me, but at least that means more Christmas dinner for me.
Not even Spike would be able to join her. He was on pet-sitting duty at Fluttershy's cottage. He'd have his hands full with Opalescence — that was for sure.
"Well, I guess I'll have to do the carving myself," Twilight said to herself. Her horn glowed and the goose fell into nicely divided pieces, the ham slicing itself.
She used levitation to load a plate with meat and vegetables. "Anyone for gravy?" she asked jokingly, then waited for an answer from the empty room. "Just me then." The gravy boat floated up, held by the grasp of her magic, and a glistening stream of thick, golden brown liquid poured over her plate, coating the goose and everything else she'd served herself.
She picked up her knife and fork and paused for a moment, thinking about how she'd served herself the food. It's obviously nice to have someone else serve you food — it shows you that they care for you, and they're trying to look after you — and she was always grateful to her friends when they did. But when it comes to food, nobody quite understands your appetite and tastes quite like you do yourself. Getting the right balance of ingredients on the plate, the right amount of gravy… that was something Twilight could only really do for herself. And boy, have I gotten it right today! she thought to herself, a smile creeping across her face.
She looked at her plate… where to begin? There were so many mouthwatering options, from the bright orange carrots and golden roast potatoes, to the just-starting-to-become-crispy parsnips and the succulent looking sausages. But really it was obvious what had to be tried first — the centrepiece, the star of the show — the goose — a once a year treat, oh so good to eat.
Twilight prodded her fork into the juiciest looking piece of the pale meat, and slid it across onto an emptier region of her plate. She pressed her knife into the delicious-looking food, and almost effortlessly cleaved it with a single stroke. The meat was so tender, it almost fell apart.
She secured the morsel on her fork, sliding it along her plate to gather a thick coating of hot gravy, then hoisted the food into the air. The chunk of goose glistened with shiny, sticky, golden brown gravy, reflecting the flashing silver–white Christmas lights. It was like a little bauble of deliciousness. She rotated the fork slowly from side to side, watching it glisten.
Twilight slipped her tongue out of her mouth and licked her plump lips, coating them with a thin sheen of her own moisture. She was beginning to salivate at the rich aromas coming from the food.
A single drop of thick gravy dripped from the bottom of the meat, landing on a particularly upright stick of carrot, and running down the length of its firm yet tender shaft, as if in slow motion, onto her plate. This could get very messy, very quickly, Twilight thought, and leaned over her plate to ensure she didn't end up spilling any of the warm liquid into her lap and soaking her pants.
As her lips drew nearer to the meat, her stomach rumbled with raw, unbridled desire. She opened her mouth, moving the fork closer and closer to its inevitable destination. She could feel the steam from it against her face. The smell was almost too good to be true.
The meat brushed past her lower lip, and she felt the warmth from it as it went into her expectant mouth. She wrapped her lips tightly around the bundle and withdrew the fork, which made its deposit, the meat sliding off the hard steel prongs and remaining in her hungry mouth.
Twilight Sparkle closed her eyes, exhaling deeply through her nose as she relished the taste of the goose in her mouth. Salty, sweet, protein-rich… oh, what was the word the Neighponese had for it… umami… that was it. Delicious, meaty, almost buttery in its texture.
She paused a moment, enjoying the feeling of her mouth at last being full. She felt a stirring down below as her stomach anticipated finally being sated.
Her tongue pushed the meat to the left side of her mouth, positioning it near her semi-molars. Her powerful mandibular muscles got to work, almost on autopilot, grinding the flesh of the goose between her teeth, transforming it into something digestible.
Some gravy and small fibres of meat slid down the back of her throat, almost unnoticed by her, but the rest was ground into a pulp, mixing with the thick saliva in her mouth.
Finally, her tongue formed a trough shape, her epiglottis closed and she swallowed, the soft meaty wad being propelled down her throat by the peristalsis of her oesophagus, passing through her oesophageal sphincter, and coming to a rest in her welcoming belly.
Twilight sighed, opening her eyes and giving a satisfied smile. She lifted a crisp white napkin to her face, dabbing her lips gently to wipe away any traces of the gravy.
She looked at her full plate — that one mouthful was just the start — she still had so much more left to experience of this delicious meal.
And after that, Spike's wonderful spiced cinnamon berry muffins were still to come!
Author's Note
That was fun. 
