Fallout: Lavender Wastelander

Celestia blinked up at the sun. It was well past its zenith, failing to shed light over the high roofed buildings flanking the long alley. Without any artificial light, long sheets of darkness draped over the brick pathway, trapping the narrow corridor in a cloak of darkness.

Any Equestrian who didn’t know the path would fear to tread it. That was by design. Illusion spells to enhance the sinister air were woven into the very bricks paving the hidden avenue. Their purpose was to hide the secret exit closest to the American reliquary in the catacombs beneath Canterlot Castle.

They weren’t planning to take the path to its end, only far enough to exit the teleportation interdiction field around the castle. Luna had already departed to dive into the dreams of early sleepers, which left Daniel and Twilight as Celestia’s companions. They followed behind her, with Daniel walking while Twilight Sparkle flew by his side.

Twilight’s braced leg wasn’t her only injury. Celestia’s faithful former student had been disfigured in the other world, yet Twilight still wanted to return, even with a shattered horn and broken body. Celestia knew that Twilight would never abandon her friends. The determination and compassion she had shown over the years had never wavered.

Celestia wouldn’t interfere with Twilight’s decision to go back. Trusting Twilight to make the right decisions had saved Equestria innumerable times. In fact, her faith in Twilight had only redoubled in the over half-hour spent talking in the reliquary. Even under the grim circumstances, Celestia couldn’t have been prouder of her. Her diligence to ask every possible question about pre-destruction America, and the Americans in Equestria, had surprised even Celestia.

And as they walked, Twilight’s enthusiasm to learn was still going strong.

“So, Celestia,” Twilight quietly intoned from behind her. “How were you able to develop a return spell for the raiders so fast?”

Of course Twilight would ask that question. Celestia slowed her pace as she opened the vault of memories that she normally kept buried deep down. Two hundred years later and the depressing wave of self-pity still lay in waiting to crash over her mood.

“The spell wasn’t originally for the raiders,” Celestia said, her voice as flat as a sheet of paper. Even two centuries removed, how she handled the situation was one of her biggest failures. “I found a banishment spell in one of Starswirl’s grimoires. Some of the Americans trapped on this side of the portal wanted to go back.”

Many who had considered it had been convinced to stay. But Celestia couldn’t keep those that wanted to go back to Earth against their will. Even if it meant sending them back to their blasted, ruined, irradiated, dead world. All twelve of the names and faces of the people she sent to certain death were carved into her memory like chiseled stone.

There was no way of knowing if any of them survived going back.

“Oh,” Twilight said. The ache in her voice was all Celestia needed to hear to crumble inside. She stopped and turned around to face Twilight, her student’s expression was more neutral and composed than her own.

Like worms made of tar, the memories bore through Celestia, sticking to every other thought and dragging them into a tumbling morass. So much potential was reduced to ash. America had been discovered by Europeans and the entire world destroyed all in her time as the sole ruler of Equestria. Not her lifetime, just her time ruling without Luna. If she subtracted a thousand years, then her rule had started sometime around the 1270s in Earth years. Humanity as a whole had achieved so much in the time she spent on her haunches eating cake and drinking tea.

The brightest candles burn half as long.

“So if I’m remembering how banishment spells work,” Twilight said slowly, her inquisitive tone throwing Celestia a life jacket as she drowned in her self doubt. “They send others back to the realm where they had spent the most time residing.” She tapped her chin with a hoof. “Which means, I’m going to have to find a portal to get back to the Wasteland, aren’t I?”

“Unfortunately, yes,” Celestia said as she nodded. They were far enough down the path to be able to teleport. “I’m going to speak to Starswirl first, see how much damage my meddling has caused. He may be able to help you find a portal, or create one. Is there anything you need before we leave Canterlot?”

Starswirl the Bearded was a mage second only to Twilight, though Celestia knew he even surpassed Twilight in some areas, such as enchanting and portal making. Twilight was able to cast every spell Celestia had given to her, but had never focused and specialized on just one series of spells. Though, Celestia didn’t doubt that Twilight could outclass even Starswirl’s portal magic given a few months or years of dedication.

And a functioning horn. Every glance at the jagged break sent a shudder down Celestia’s spine that traveled all the way to the tips of her hooves. A unicorn losing their horn was like an earth pony losing their legs.

“Yes, actually,” Twilight said. She shifted from hoof to hoof, before turning her gaze to Daniel and sheepishly smiled while gesturing a hoof his way. “I’d like my parents to meet my coltfriend.”

Celestia backstepped in time with Daniel’s ears flicking straight up, the light brown stallion’s cheeks turning red.

Twilight was in love! Every dark thought Celestia had been having was overcome with the closest thing Celestia knew she could ever hope to have to paternal joy. Little Twilight had a coltfriend. It explained why Twilight had looked at Daniel so much during their journey through the warehouse. She hoped their relationship lasted.

Celestia didn’t want to spoil Twilight’s hopes, or her own refreshed mood, but she wasn’t going to lie to Twilight.

“They’re not in Canterlot,” Celestia replied. She had kept in correspondence with the parents of her prized pupil and chosen successor. “Your mother is in Phillydelphia, while your father is in Detrot.”

“Huh, why?” Twilight asked, raising an eyebrow in puzzlement. “I thought my dad works here in Canterlot.”

“Your father accepted a new position in Detrot,” Celestia said slowly. She shifted on her hooves. Starswirl wasn’t the only pony she needed to talk to in Ponyville. “They didn’t have a night shift manager. Your mother is back to her old job.”

Celestia kept the details sparse intentionally. She knew why they were at those jobs, but Twilight was intelligent enough to solve the problem. Celestia gave the young mare she had helped raise an encouraging nod while she put the pieces together. Twilight didn’t see the nod, her eyes were too busy flitting from side to side like she was visualizing the abstract. Celestia knew she was already in the middle of figuring it out.

“What do your parents do, Twilight?” Daniel asked, scratching the back of his head. “We didn’t talk about them during our date.”

“Your father is missing, so I didn’t want to bring up a sore subject,” Twilight replied as her expression turned sour. “I nearly have the puzzle together, but I’m not liking the way the pieces are fitting. My father is a night shift manager at a factory making steel dies and punches for heavy machinery. My mother used to work as an alchemist for a fireworks factory before she quit to have my older brother, then me.”

The alley echoed with the sound of Twilight clopping a hoof onto the brick.

“I got it!” Twilight exclaimed. “Not only did you capture weapons from things like Luna’s attempted assassin, but I saw weapons in the reliquary. So if the biggest sheet metal factory in Equestria is going into full production, and my mom, who made fireworks, is back to work, that means we’re about to start making guns?”

Celestia nodded, sighing heavily.

“Wait, what?” Daniel asked. “How soon?”

“Not long,” Twilight stated with a shake of her head. “Equestrians are efficient if we have a goal in mind. Ponyville was completely rebuilt in a few months after a parasprite infestation.” Twilight’s wide, open eyes locked with Celestia’s. “We can’t reasonably stop the production, can we?”

“Unfortunately, no,” Celestia said with a sigh. “I’ve delegated military matters to Tempest Shadow. I’m going to Ponyville to speak with her, but I’m sorry, Twilight. I won’t stop Tempest from arming Equestria. It’s still too early to know if other countries have raiders appearing in their borders to capture firearms from.”

Stopping Grand General Shadow would be a mistake. She had exceeded Celestia’s expectations to horrific proportions, but not without reasons. Any foreigner looking at Equestria’s newspapers could see how easy it was for criminals and monsters from another world to invade in ones and twos at a time, but still lock the entire country down with fear by using overwhelming graphic violence. The rules of war, politics, and the overall safety of the realm had changed.

Celestia knew she had chosen the right mare for the job when the defense budget alone clubbed her in the head when it arrived. Despite having a small book dropped on her face, Celestia felt worse for the dragon who had to send it by spellfire.

“So even after you had the stranded Americans destroy most of their old military equipment in the cave, guns have finally gotten a hoofhold in this world,” Twilight said bitterly. “I guess it was only a matter of time before they were invented naturally. Tempest’s airship had a cannon on it for launching harpoons, and all of it was built in another country. Meaning they could start downsizing the technology.”

“Yes,” Celestia said. “Now, I’m going to teleport you and Daniel first.” Celestia charged her horn for a teleport spell, the golden light only pushing partially through the magically enhanced darkness of the alley. “If your many friendship letters are anything to go by, the best place to start looking for Fluttershy would be her cottage, or at least Discord will be there to help you look since he’s taking care of her house. If she’s not there, nor Discord, find me in your throne room.”

“Will do, Celestia,” Twilight said. “Thank you. And see you soon.”

<>~<>~<>

Twilight tried to not think about it. But Equestria was going to—or already had—built guns. Trying to think about anything else was like trying to push her thoughts through mud. The thought hung over her like a black cloud, even as she blinked the afterimage of the teleportation flash out of her eyes.

When the golden light specks finally cleared from her vision, she was in the middle of Fluttershy’s cottage. It was devoid of the normal sing-song of birds and the calls and cries of various animals. But while animals weren’t there to cry, there was a zebra mare with a mottled, almost mangy-looking hide sobbing heavily into her forehooves. She sat in a folding chair next to Fluttershy, who rubbed her back with a hoof.

“There there, it’s okay, Kerri,” Fluttershy said in a soothing, calm voice.

Fluttershy and Kerri weren’t the only ones in a circle of folding chairs that faced each other. There was Discord, a young earth pony stallion, and finally an older male gryphon. There was also an empty chair sitting across from Discord.

Their arrival hadn’t gone unnoticed. The only one not looking their way was Kerri.

“Pretty goatee boy, silver eyes, and a Pip-Boy. Must be Daniel,” The old gryphon grumped with his forelegs crossed. “Is that purple one with the broken horn another one for Fluttershy’s little rehab group here?”

“I’m not a raider,” Twilight said quickly. If her mind wasn’t preoccupied with the prospect of Equestria building guns, Twilight knew she would have realized sooner that the ponies were raiders, even with them all being disarmed and naked. Their bodies were thin as rails, many showing ribs. All of them had dirty, matted fur, with most of them missing fur in places, or heavily scarred in other spots. The pang of old sweat and unwashed bodies clawed into her nose and burned like lit matches had been shoved into her nostrils.

Fluttershy was used to living with animals in her house, but the smell of the raiders was indescribably foul. Twilight clamped her mouth shut. She didn’t even want to risk tasting the air.

“You had me convinced, back when you and Daniel ran into me at the radio station,” Fluttershy said, stepping away from Kerri to give her some space. “Have you seen yourself in a mirror recently?”

“Allow me,” Discord said as he snapped his talons. A few paces from Twilight, the floor creaked and groaned. Twilight stepped back, an eyebrow raised in suspicion. Without warning, a tall and wide full body mirror erupted through the floor like a jack-in-the-box in a cloud of rubber-chicken splinters.

Twilight’s yelp died in her throat as her blood turned to ice. A raider stared down at her from where the reflection should be. A bipedal, purple furred alicorn with a broken horn, both legs soaked in blood, her right knee speared with shrapnel, no left pinky finger, and a dozen other bloody spots peppering her chest and arms.

“T-that can’t be me,” Twilight gasped, turning away from the reflection. “I couldn’t see that mare’s pupils because they were so dilated.”

“Twi,” Daniel said softly, joining beside her and resting a hoof on her shoulder. “I hate to say it, but that’s exactly how you looked.”

“Fluttershy?” Twilight asked, her voice as brittle as glass. Her stomach churned. Sickness crept up her throat. “H-how close were you to shooting me?”

Twilight would have shot the mare in the reflection without a second thought. After the two weeks in Minefield, Twilight probably smelled like a raider.

“Close enough that Daniel is the only reason why I asked why you were wearing raider armor,” Fluttershy said, staring at the floor. “You once enchanted a doll with a spell that started a town-wide brawl over it. You going raider would be the worst possible thing the Wasteland could see.”

“Oh,” Twilight gasped, shaking her head. She turned her head away, cheeks burning as Smarty Pants was brought up again.

“Seeing you dressed like a raider, but not a raider, got me thinking instead of shooting,” Fluttershy said softly.

The bathroom door opened and a batpony stallion stepped out with a clean, if slightly damp, mane and fur. He stopped just long enough to nod to Twilight and Daniel before he flapped his wings and flew towards the empty seat in the circle.

“Hey, Kerri, maybe a shower will help,” Fluttershy said, turning around to face the zebra. She had stopped crying, but hadn’t looked up from a spot on the floor. She gave a weak shake of her head, mumbled something, and stayed seated. The earth pony took the opportunity to stand up from his seat and walk to the bathroom.

“So this is your gang?” Twilight asked, using the movement of ponies to deflect away from the subject of her being the raider in the room. She knew their names from the description Daniel had given. She put names to faces by process of elimination. Ethan was the batpony, the gryphon was older so he had to be Slim Joe, that left the earth pony as Paul, and Kerri was the only mare.

Daniel had made all of them out to be monsters, but they didn’t look any worse than the Twilight from the mirror.

“They are,” Discord replied for Fluttershy. “And Fluttershy has a good reason for wanting to help them, even if they’ve done terrible things.”

Discord looked away and rubbed the back of his neck, his expression heavy with regret.

Twilight wanted to agree. But they were raiders. And something wasn’t coming together quite right. Something Fluttershy herself had told her.

“I’d like to know the reasons, especially after Glenn,” Twilight said with a low growl. It was strange how Fluttershy had rescued a pregnant kid from the cage of one raider, but was willing to give group therapy to these ones. Glenn should have made her more against raiders in general. Every raider Twilight had seen was a rapacious, chem-addicted, absolutely crazy person.

“Glenn is different,” Fluttershy said, shaking her head. She raised a hoof and opened her mouth like she was about to speak, paused, shook her head and dropped the hoof. “We can talk about him later. These people here still have their humanity, Twilight.” She slowly turned and regarded each of the seated raiders with a nod, before facing Twilight again. “This is the first support group they’ve been in. The Wasteland doesn't have mental health specialists. Just finding a trained doctor is rare.”

The light from the ceiling bulb glistened off Fluttershy’s tear filled eyes. She stomped her forehoof once. “Problems are ignored or self-medicated until the ones suffering spiral into an endless cycle. I can’t forgive these people on behalf of their victims, but I can keep them from making more while keeping them from becoming a victim themselves.” She shook her head slowly. “Shooting them and continuing the way things are in the Wasteland just lets the cycle of violence keep cycling. I’ve spilled enough blood to feel like I’m drowning in it. I need to be the change I want to see in the Wasteland, even if that means being the Wasteland’s biggest optimist.”

“Sarah would still be here if Fluttershy showed up to the station a day ago,” Kerri said, finally looking up from the floor. Tears misted her eyes. In his explanation of how Fluttershy took over the gang, Daniel hadn’t left out finding Sarah in the bathroom stall. Celestia had needed ten minutes alone before they had continued. “Fluttershy’s the first person to treat us like we’re sick people needing help, instead of a problem. I tried quitting chems with Sarah, but couldn’t do it. N-nearly overdosed when I saw she killed herself.”

Fluttershy wiped her own eyes with a foreleg, taking a moment to breathe as she wrapped Kerri with a wing.

“I’m not saying we should stop defending ourselves from raiders, even if it means killing them in self defense,” Fluttershy said. “What I’m saying is that we should stop the need to do it in the first place. I want to give people ways out before they become raiders and help the raiders who are saveable find a way out that doesn't involve dying violently. Some are too far gone, but that does not mean all of them are irredeemable.”

“And you’re okay with her putting herself in this much danger, Discord?” Twilight asked.

“I would be lying if I said yes,” Discord said. He craned his long, massive neck to bump his forehead against Fluttershy’s. “But if she didn’t take the risk to reform me, I wouldn’t be here.”

“Isn’t it obvious?” Kerri asked, her voice losing its waver as she stared at Twilight with puffy, bloodshot eyes. “Fluttershy already lives with a raider. Discord can use his freaky mind powers on people to make them say or do anything he wants, like he did by making Ethan admit to everything he’s done.” Kerri wiped her eyes with a foreleg, sniffling. “If I was Fluttershy, I’d be second guessing if every moment spent with Discord was my own choice, but somehow, both of them share something that’s healthier than anything I’ve ever had.”

Twilight’s eyes shot wide open. No, no-no-no, Discord wasn’t anything like a raider.

“Twilight,” Discord said with a broken sigh. He held up his bear paw and snapped his fingers. A tiny, front-loading clothes dryer appeared in his palm, covered in stickers of Discord’s face. Six brains spun behind the glass door, rattling with the sound of loose coins. Each tiny brain was a different color. Pink, purple, blue, orange, white, and yellow.

Twilight got the point. He hadn’t touched Twilight or any of her friends physically, but he had slipped into their heads without consent. Yet, she considered Discord… something. A friend because he was a friend’s friend? Maybe even a true friend, even after what he did years ago.

“The truth is,” Fluttershy said, “people think good and evil is an adjective they can easily label people with. Like there is a score being tallied… and eventually one tally outweighs the other far too much, but it’s more nuanced than that. The past still matters, but tell me, if someone like King Sombra had started doing good, and kept doing good, would he be a good or evil person? Or the reverse, if I go raider, am I forever evil from then on? In the past I’ve helped animal shelters find homes for orphaned kittens and have nursed sick creatures back to health.”

“I… don’t know.” Twilight said, frowning. What ultimately made someone good and evil in the end? Maybe Fluttershy was right, and there was a grain of hope—as tiny as the grain was—for raiders. “I’m going to the castle to talk to Celestia, let her know I found you and the rai–” Twilight stopped herself mid sentence to correct herself. “Your friends.”

After all of the deep questions Fluttershy had asked, Twilight needed to give Celestia one more friendship report. And maybe take the time to look at the friendship journal from when Discord had been reformed.

Then sleep. Definitely sleep.

<>~<>~<>

Ponyville framed in the setting sun was like staring into Discord’s mirror all over again. Equestria wastelandified. Boarded over windows, armed and armored guards patrolling a makeshift wall, trenches on the outskirts of town, and barely anypony walking the streets.

The inescapable wasteland influence only grew worse and more obvious the longer Twilight leaned on the railing of the balcony attached to her room at the castle. It was one of the few rooms not touched by her castle’s metamorphosis into the Equestrian War Department.

It hadn’t just been her castle that had been overtaken by wasteland-like corruption. The School of Friendship was no more. With Twilight and her friends disappearing, that eliminated most of the professors, leaving a big building with lots of rooms and a dining hall free for use as a barracks.

Armored ponies singing cadence marched along the cobblestone paths she had built alongside her students. They were heading back from the firing range which now occupied the Buckball field where Ocellus the changeling could use her gift for transformation to play any position.

Twilight turned away from the depressing sight with a sigh. Daniel lay across a sofa, his combat armor laying on the floor nearby.

He’d had a bath in the time it took her to talk to Celestia and Starswirl. Thankfully the damage Celestia had caused pulling her back wasn’t as bad as Starswirl’s worst-case predictions, but it was still bad. Rogue portals to the Wasteland were going to become more frequent, stay open longer, while also growing in size from what they had been.

But without a good portion of her horn, there was nothing she could do.

“Come here, Twilight,” Daniel said, sitting up and scooting over. He tapped the sofa beside him with a hoof.

Twilight obliged, sitting next to Daniel. Her heart fluttered as her fur rubbed on his. She had just finished a quick shower and wanted to dry her coat in the breeze before bed.

“I… um,” Daniel said, stumbling over his words. “I just wanted to say thank you. About earlier. You wanted me to meet your parents, and I think that was sweet, and wish I could. I n-never had a chance to do something like that back in the Vault.” Daniel shifted in the cushions, his face red. “I have so many good things to tell them about you, too. And I think they’d be wonderful people if they raised someone like you.”

“And when we find your father,” Twilight said as she slid one of her forehooves towards one of his. Once they connected, she wished she still had fingers to lock with his. “I’ll have so many good things to tell him about you. I don’t just like you because you saved my life. You’re someone who doesn't run away when I start using big words, or when I let my emotions get the better of me. We’ve forgiven each other and still traveled together to find our lost loved ones… I know what we have has been short and crazy, but I was honest when I called you my coltfriend.”

“Heh,” Daniel softly snorted, then motioned a hoof to his face, then chest. “Things have gone crazy lately. I’m glad I have something that feels normal. Especially when I look at what Fluttershy has, and wow, I didn’t picture Discord as that freaking scary.”

“You aren’t kidding,” Twilight chuckled, rolling her eyes. “Everyone was shocked when Fluttershy and Discord told us they were dating.”

“I can imagine,” Daniel said, before he scrunched his face, let out a few snots, and shook his head.

“What?” Twilight asked, smiling. She could tell he was holding back laughter. His face had started to turn red.

“N-no, too inappropriate,” Daniel said. His blush was cherry colored now.

Twilight had to insist.

“Tell me,” she pleaded. Daniel shook his head, so Twilight thumped his shoulder with a hoof. Repeatedly. “Tell me, tell me, tell meeee.”

“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you,” Daniel snorted, pushing away Twilight’s punching hoof. “You ever wonder if Discord does all his crazy magic when he has sex?”

“Oh sweet Celestia, please, remove that cursed thought from my head,” Twilight groaned, burying her face into her hooves as her voice rose to a squeak.

Despite the embarrassment, Twilight started laughing.

“It’s good to see you smiling again,” Daniel said with a smile of his own. He leaned back on the sofa with a sigh.

“Thank you,” Twilight said, leaning back on the couch as well. “Today’s been rough, and I needed that laugh.” She turned her head slightly to look at him. It was almost dark. She needed to go to bed and get some rest. But she needed to ask Daniel something first. Her mouth went dry, and she stumbled to speak. “So… I don’t know how to ask this without it sounding weird after that… but can you sleep here with me?”

“Twilight?” He asked calmly. “You’re starting to breathe quickly. Take a deep breath, and tell me what’s wrong.”

Twilight inhaled slowly, her heart pounding in her ears. She took several breaths before she sighed heavily and faced him, waving a hoof around in time with her speaking.

“Ever since I was a filly, I had someone sleeping somewhere in the room with me. Spike, friends for a sleepover, or whoever, but nine times out of ten I knew someone was in the room with me,” Twilight said. She shifted on the sofa and stared down at her hooves. “Minefield was the longest time I’ve spent isolated… I don’t think I can ever go back to not having someone in the room with me. The walls start closing in and I feel like I’m back there.”

Just the idea of Daniel leaving her overnight in her room had nearly sent Twilight into another panic attack. Daniel’s hoof on her shoulder calmed her nerves.

“I understand, Twilight,” Daniel said softly. He threw a foreleg over her shoulders, wrapping her in a hug. “It’s like me with heights or wide open spaces. You feel like your heart will explode from how fast it's beating. Do you need me with you in the same bed, or should I take the couch?”

“Either should be fine,” Twilight said, her panic fading into nothing as Daniel pressed against her. “Let’s go ahead and get to bed.”

With the current track record, tomorrow was going to be another long day.