Fallout: Lavender Wastelander

“Did it hurt when whatever new thing ya got was put in?” Applejack asked as she studied Rainbow Dash’s back. Applejack was in her Enclave uniform, sitting on her bed, whereas Rainbow Dash was stripped down to her pants with her back to Applejack.

Rainbow Dash had just returned from another surgery. Applejack had seen her friend’s new spine before; it was a long serpent of shiny silver-black metal half-burrowed under Rainbow Dash’s skin. Each segment of the spine was glossy and smooth, almost having the appearance of black changeling chitin rather than metal.

“No,” Rainbow Dash said. “They said something was slotted into the spine. It took like ten minutes tops, no pain either. I was just wondering if there was anything you could see.”

“If ya told me what it was, I might be able to have a clue on where to look,” Applejack said, rolling her eyes as she waited for Rainbow’s new favorite phrase.

“It’s classified,” Rainbow Dash said.

Of course it was. Every darned thing was ‘classified’ with Special Agent Rachel Dash, United States Secret Service. It was like getting the fancy title had turned everything into a game for Rainbow, despite being right in the villain's lair. And Colonel Autumn wanted her to be in charge for some reason she couldn’t quite wrap her head around.

“With all the manure the Enclave spits, they really should think about growin’ mushrooms,” Applejack huffed, crossing her arms.

“I’m being serious,” Rainbow Dash said, turning around and showing off her bare upper body. “I can’t tell you what it is, but it’s totally five-hundred percent awesome!” Rainbow Dash giggled with glee. “I think I can say it’s a prototype from the west coast, kept off the records, so Eden doesn't know I have it. It’s our rabbit from the hat if Plan A goes pear shaped.”

“Since when did we have more than one pla–?” Applejack shut her mouth as the door to their room opened. Colonel Autumn stepped inside, smiling.

“The last Vertibird has just left for Adams Air Force Base,” Colonel Autumn said. He stared at Rainbow Dash for a few seconds before he inhaled sharply and facepalmed. “Why are you shirtless?”

“Ever heard of knockin’?” Applejack asked, throwing up her arms in frustration. “I spent most my years growin’ up in a barn and I’ve got more manners than you.”

“Does it matter if it’s Autumn? He’s seen us naked before,” Rainbow Dash said. Applejack joined Colonel Autumn in facepalming. “We did arrive right on his desk.” Rainbow Dash laughed. “Oh the look on his face was priceless too. What was it that you said again, Colonel? I remember it was wordy, like every other thing you say.”

“The shame of you two,” Colonel Autumn said with a groan, retreading what he had said. “To sneak into my office using stealth boys is a gross misappropriation of government property. Furthermore, I can assume from the state of your undress that you are here to give me favors for quid pro quo. You are mistaken, and this violation will go on both of your records.”

“Yeah, exactly that,” Rainbow Dash said as she walked over to her side of her and Applejack’s shared bedroom, where the rest of her clothes lay on her bed. “Then you noticed my ears and tail were real and flipped out.” Rainbow Dash started to put on her clothes. “Are we clear for Operation House Party?”

Applejack glared at Colonel Autumn. Now there were code names for their plans?

“What?” Colonel Autumn asked, catching Applejack’s look. He dismissively waved a hand towards Rainbow Dash. “You’d be amazed at how fast she works when you tell her everything is top secret or has a code name attached to it.” He turned to Rainbow, who had her shirt and suit jacket on. “And to answer your question, yes. House Party is a go.”

“Alright, Applejack,” Rainbow Dash said as she casually slid her sunglasses over her eyes. “Let’s go have a chat with Eden.”

<>~<>~<>

The men’s restroom was mostly quiet when Daniel slipped inside, the only noise being the sound of rain pounding on the roof of the church. The magic lantern he had brought from Equestria sat on the counter where three sinks resided in a row, and was already proving useful. A crystal at the center of the small device shone with bright blue-white light, more powerful than his Pip-Boy or Rarity’s lights back in Rivet City. Daniel was thankful for that, since the room was windowless. The light, alongside the cracked mirror running half the width of the room, helped him search for even the smallest speck of mud left on his brown fur.

Fur.

The thought sent Daniel staring apprehensively at his reflection. His eyes were larger, but still silver. His hair was short and still dark brown, almost black, and his goatee was still the same. Yet now he had brown fur and hooves and a horn. The afternoon had been such a blur, he barely had any time to think about—let alone come to terms—with what he was. A pony, and one that was similar to Twilight, just without the wings. A unicorn, she had called him.

“Oh man,” Daniel said with a sigh, tossing the rag he had been using to clean his fur back into the water bucket which sat next to the lantern. “This is going to be one hell– heck of a story when I find Dad.”

Daniel clamped his eyes shut and tensed.

He waited several moments before he relaxed. There had been no divine lightning to smite him for cursing in the church. While Daniel wasn’t religious, he had been a long time ago. The last time he had been to church was when he was seven years old, yet even after having lost his faith alongside his father, he respected the boundaries of a church out of old habit. Sinning somehow felt even more sinful when done in a house of God.

Shaking himself to clear his thoughts, Daniel faced the mirror again before backing up to give himself one final full-body check for any lingering mud. There was none that he could see.

Cleaning had taken longer than he would have liked once he had stripped out of the combat armor over his Vault suit. While the Vault suit itself was waterproof and made of a leather-like material that sent mud and muck sliding easily off, his face, hair, tail, and hands had been different stories. At least this time he had his hands instead of hooves to wash with.

Magic would have helped in Equestria, just being able to float things around. He wondered if Twilight could teach him magic.

Just briefly thinking about Twilight teaching him spells put a smile on his face and a flutter in his heart. He may be a mutant in the eyes of other humans, but now he had even more in common with Twilight.

Picking up a towel, he dried what little water was left on his fur after rinsing it off with the rag. Once he was done, he hung the towel over the door to a bathroom stall to air dry.

He left his combat armor and the ludicrously overloaded backpack on the floor as he walked to the door. His hand hovered over the handle. He was really about to do it. Even if it was just to get a place to sleep, it was still within a house of God.

Daniel clenched and unclenched his hands. Not in worry, but preparation. Rushed as his relationship to Twilight was, Daniel would keep his vows.

With a final self-encouraging squaring of his shoulders and a shake of his body, Daniel opened the door and stepped back into the church proper. Twilight was already on the stage, splendid and beautiful. Revered Smith was close by behind the pulpit, smiling warmly as he held one arm across his chest, a bible clutched in his hand over his heart.

Twilight’s lantern hung from a wedding arch that hadn’t been on stage before Daniel had entered the bathroom. The flowers on the arch were a mix of scraggly wasteland buds wilting on the vine and faded two-century old fabric or plastic artificial flowers. It was the thought that counted, in Daniel’s opinion. At least the strangers had given them an arch for the shotgun wedding.

There was no wedding march as he crossed the expanse of the large church. Barely any sound either. Only the sound of the crackling braziers or the cough of one of the townsfolk who had chosen to stay and watch the impromptu wedding over taking a walk through the storm.

Every step he took towards the stage sped up his heart rate exponentially. This was really happening. He was going to get married to a woman who he liked, and one who liked him back. Someone who had, just a few short days ago, came into his life and changed it for the better forever. His mouth went dry. Sweat dampened his furred palms. If only his dad were there to see it, and Twilight’s friends. It was a sour note to dampen the high spirits Daniel was in.

Finally, after what felt like he had walked a mile, Daniel stood in front of Twilight. Lightheaded with excitement. His smile could have reached the moon. Twilight nervously smiled back at him. He wondered briefly if she had the same worried-yet-excited thoughts he was having.

Reverend Smith walked around the pulpit to approach Daniel’s side. Twilight had set up her own lantern, allowing Daniel to see the older black gentleman in more detail than what the light of the braziers had offered. He was bald and clean shaven except for a thick black mustache. Reading spectacles were perched on his nose, the frame one size too small for his head, so the legs of the glasses bowed outward and scrubbed against his ears. Reverend Smith leaned close, and Daniel turned an ear towards him as Revered Smith held up a hand like he was about to whisper.

“Sorry about Jackson roping you and everyone into this situation,” Reverend Smith said apologetically in a hushed tone. “If you two truly aren’t ready, I can call this off and let you two sleep in an old barn here in town that nobody uses. It has a few leaks, but the loft is good. I’ve already asked Twilight if she’s ready to marry.”

“What did she say?” Daniel asked. Twilight looked away for some reason, so he couldn’t see her react to his question. He wondered if the preacher had asked her to turn around and not clue Daniel into her response.

“I won’t say. She should not influence if you’re ready for marriage or not,” the revered quickly replied. “Speak from your heart, not the heart of another. Only you know if you’re ready. If one of you said yes but the other said no, I’ll call it off. Only if you’ve both agreed will I join you two in matrimony.”

Daniel took a deep breath, his heart thumping in his ears.

With how the week went, with every day being one long string of events, Daniel knew either Twilight or himself could die any day. Be it super mutants, raiders, or just sheer coincidence deciding today would be the day a piece of rubble fell off a ruin while they were in the path of its fall. There were many ways to die suddenly and unexpectedly in the Wasteland. Twilight had almost died to a landmine. With all that taken into consideration, Daniel had walked onto stage ready to say ‘I do’ from the beginning.

“I’d love to spend the rest of my life with her,” Daniel said quietly. “However long that may be.”

“Twilight, turn around please,” Reverend Smith said as he grinned, sidestepped two paces to the right, and stopped in the center of the wedding arch. Twilight spun around so fast Daniel thought she would lose her balance. Her face was cherry red as she twirled her hair in that cute little way she did everytime Daniel had seen her embarrassed. Daniel’s heart skipped a beat. Had she wanted to marry him?

“S-so,” Twilight stuttered as she stopped twirling her hair. She locked her eyes with Daniel’s, her voice still quivering with nervousness as she asked him. “How do human marriage ceremonies usually go?”

Daniel stumbled in place, his knees trembling. Twilight had said yes! He didn’t know what to say. Well, there was one thing he could ask to make it official.

“Well,” Daniel said, dropping to a knee in front of Twilight, taking her hand. “Usually this question gets asked before the bride and groom are at the altar.” Daniel took a breath. She had already agreed to the marriage, but Daniel wanted to ask the question and do things the right way.

“Twilight,” he asked slowly, breath quivering. “Will you marry me?”

“Yes, yes, a hundred-million times yes,” Twilight nearly shouted, her head nodding so fast that Daniel thought it would come flying off from how fast it moved.

Daniel reached into the pocket of his Vault suit, his fingers brushing across something metallic. His fingers clasped around it as he pulled it out of the pocket and presented it to Twilight, her eyes going as wide as dinner plates as she stared at it. It was the piece of shrapnel he had pulled out of her knee.

“I know it’s not a ring, but nothing really says ‘till death do us part’ like a piece of the mine that nearly killed you,” Daniel said with a dry chuckle. “I saved it for you, but was going to wait a few more days before asking if you wanted to keep it.”

Twilight didn’t say anything, tears brimming in her eyes as she clutched the piece of shrapnel in the palm of her right hand before bringing it close to her chest.

Tears? Had he upset her? Panic shot through Daniel. Had what he did been a mistake? He quickly stood back on two hooves.

“Twi?” He asked, mouth dry as sand.

His worry melted away as she threw her arms around him before pressing her lips to his.

“And here I had a whole service planned,” Reverend Smith chuckled as Twilight pulled away, leaving Daniel breathless. “I’ll skip the exchanging of vows. I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride… again.”

After the amazing kiss, Daniel was going to take any chance to return the favor.