One day in Equestria, in a clearing near a certain farm, three friends were scheming and plotting.(not butts dummy) "All ahm sayhing is, ahm nawht so shure about this one plahn" "Estimation of plan succession rate:69.7 percent" "C'mon guys, I'm sur-cluck-that it will work" Those three were three friends, Gangsta Bloom, Sweetie Bot, and Scootachicken, respectively. "Everyone knows that manticlucks can be used as a magicluck energy source" "Probability of Truth in Answer:99.9 percent" "Well, ahs lohng ahs we make it queek; Ah have to rawndeyvoo with Shauuhndee to show some STAG members whoose baws." "Oh Gangsta Bloom, it'll be pretty quicluck" "Good, now lets go." "Proceed With Further Commands." So the three fillies went into the Everfree Forest to find a Manticore, as a power source that would power a dimensional teleporter to teleport them to the Pizza dimension, where everything is made out of pizza, because y'know ponies really do like their pizza. So then they ventured into Everfree Forest. The three crept around the flora, searching for their target. "Sweetie Bot, do your cluck thing" Scootachicken commanded. "Affirmative. Scanning area of 1 cubic mile for thermal life form readings......solitary life form detected.......detecting location of life form.....estimated 10 feet away." "Tehn feeht uhwey?" Gangsta Bloom readied her net to throw on the Manticore. The bushes in front of them rustled, and slowly, a chicken head came out of it. "Hey look, its Scootachicken's cuhsin! hahahahahaha" "Emitting elated response in T-Minus 3...2...1...Humorous Expression." Sweetie Bot droned. "Oh ha...CLUCK...ha. very funny." Scootachicken clucked. Then, the chicken head rose out of the bushes and revealed itself to be a Cockatrice. "GANGSTA BLOOM, CLUCK DO SOMETHING." "Oh alright then." Gangsta Bloom then pulled out her Apoco-Fists and gave the Cockatrice a slight tap, causing him to explode into bloody gibs. "thayt nevar gehts oald." Then after that Sweetie Bot scanned for more life forms and found well y'know, a Manticore. Gangsta Bloom had her net ready and they tied it up and stacked it onto Sweetie Bot to lift away to their clubhouse. "Performing pre-launch security protocols.....Systems ready...launch sequence activate." With a FPPPPOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMMM they rocketed off with the Manticore in tow. "Good cluck thing you had those tranquilizer darts, Gangsta Bloom. Say, where cluck did you ever get them?" "Oh, its was when me and Pierce had to fly off a shipment of Wolves to tear up the Deckers-BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP- Sweetie Bot, was that really necessary?" "Apologies, attempting to extricate magical power from being." Sweetie Bot hooked up the Manticore to the teleporter, trapping it in some sort of storage cube. She flipped a switch which caused thee machine to power up. A wave of electricity shot through twin spires on the contraption, and dark rings started bursting from it, eminating faster and faster, until with a huge blast, exploded with a pulsating shockwave, leaving a dark portal. "Warning, Warning, anomaly detected in space rift...suggested safe distance...1111111111111111111111BRRRRRRZZZZZZZZTZTTTTTTTT" "Quick! Gangsta Bloom, we gotta cluck run for it!" Grabbing the buzzing 'bot they quickly dashed out of their clubhouse, rushing to escape the ever-growing maelstrom. "You do know that last tahm i rahn from something, it ended up with luchadores chasing me with grenade launchers, threatening to-" "Keep cluck quiet and keep running" Gangsta Bloom then fell silent, bit then piped up again. "I'm not sure if we can keep running from this thing much lawnger." "Keep runn-" Suddenly, Scootachicken tripped over a conveniently placed rock, which caused Gangsta Bloom to slam into Scootachicken, the fast approaching vortex, now engulfing them in darkgrimdarkness. They would soon be teleported into a very ominous place, located in the depths of the South Pacific Ocean....
The only thing they remembered seeing last, was a whirling cataclysm, and purple lightning for whatever reason. They had soon flown out of the vortex and into what seemed to be dusty damp cobblestone. Feeling dazed but still conscious, Gangsta Bloom musteres up the strength to speak. "*COUGHCOUGHCOUGH* Whar the heyk arh we?" Her eyes squinted to get a better look at her surroundings. They would have been in pitch black darkness, if it weren't for some eerie candles. From what she could see, they were in a cellar of some sort, but bigger. Much bigger in fact, than she had ever seen before, even after that one assignment where she had to steal-er intercept a large shipment of Morningstar alcohol rations, located in a desecrated old manor, something out of place in the blue-collar town of Steelport. She was looking around the dark room, until a glint of metal caught her eye. She stumbled over to the glinting alloy, and found a sign. But it was not the sign that intrigued her, it was what looked to be, bizarre gold bound letters on the sign, written in something that was written in english, but in another language, one that she had never seen before. Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn the sign read. Suddenly she heard shuffling noises behind her, but then she remembered that she had forgotten her friends. walking over to them, it seemed like they hadn't been effected much by the impact, except that Sweetie Bot was glowing purple, the same color as the Stygian lightning in the vortex. "Scootachicken and Sweetie Bot are you alright?" Coughing from the vile stench of mildew, Scootachicken answered, "I think I'm okay, but I'm cluck not sure about Sweetie Bot." They both turned to face Sweetie Bot, the robot occasionally surging purple power. "Hey Sweetie Bot, can you hear us?" no response. "HEY SWEETIE BOT, WAKE UP." no response. "IF YOU CAN HEAR US SWEETIE BOT, CLUCK WAAAAAAKE UUUUUUUUUUUP" Still no response. "Agh, what are we going cluck to do Gangsta Bloom?" "Well, we definitely AHRNT following ahny ohf your plahns agin." As the two argued, the seemingly broken robot began to rise. Her eyes began to glow, and then she spoke. "Vrrrrrzzzzzzt-thezzzzzrrrrrt-brzzzzeoldoo-krzzzzzzoneszzzzzzz-zzzzzrttttbayzzzzzzt-zzzzzzzzforzazzzzzz-zzzzrtzzrzzrzztrztzzrzztrzrzrzrzrzrzrztrrrrrrrrrrrr-" and with a voice very unlike her own, she said, "SOUUUUULS" with an echoing boom. Well, that was certahnly weird nahw, huh?" Gangsta Bloom said. "Shame that it looks liyk Sweetie Bawt cahnt talhk properly." "Looks whos cluck talking." Again, they started arguing, but then they heard a distant noise, something that sounded like...chanting. "Whar ees thayt omminus saund commin' from?" "I cluck belive that it is coming from down that long cluck corridor." The three crept along a darkened wall, and slowly, a whole audience of what appeared to be robed beings came into view. They were performing some sort of arcane ritual, as the three looked on with awe. The climax of the ritual was reached and finally, a solitary being stepped forward towards a large stone slab and spoke. "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn" after that, he raised a old battered tome skyward, its pages flipping on their own, stopping on a single page. He then placed the book onto a podium which locked the book in place. Suddenly, there was a big earthquake, violently shaking the entire room, which caused Gangsta Bloom to lose balance and step on Scootachickens hoof, causing a loud squawk, which attracted the attention of the cultists. "WHO WOULD DARE DISRUPT OUR RITUAL" But that was the least of the trio's problems. The cultists' attention was diverted towards the stone slab which was rupturing from top to bottom. There was a long silence, and then the rocks burst forth from the wall, causing a huge dust cloud. Once the cloud had faded, the trio saw something they could not even comprehend. A green behemoth with a tentacled face and wings, it easily dwarfed the remains of the stone slab. It then proceeded to teleport cultists left and right. "Scootachicken, being teleported is nice and all but for one, we don't even know where he's teleporting them, and two, hes Cthulhu, who will make us insane if he cant teleport us, so i bet you have a good idea on what to do." "Act like cluck hooligans?" "yup" So then, they proceeded to act mentally ill so Cthulhu wouldn't teleport them. When the last cultist was teleported, Cthulhu took flight, and smashed through the stone ceiling, causing water to quickly rush into the room. "What are we gonna do now cluck Gangsta Bloom?" "GRAB THAYT NECROMICON" Gangsta Bloom rushed over to the book and looked at the page. "Teleportation Spell" it read. "errrr, my mama makes cornbread and washes the dishes?" After the last word was spoken they were teleported into a land they so desperately wanted to reach...
Chapter 3: The Revelation
The brisk smell of ash filled the air as they were transported through the vortex, swirling and turning, and more Stygian lightning appeared and struck Sweetie Bot, conveniently turning her to normal, but with heavy damage. "HANG IN THERE SWEETIE BOT, WE'RE ALMOST THERE!" Gangsta Bloom and Scootachicken shouted. There was a flash of light and then, they were in another land. The one they had been looking for, the one and only, Pizza dimension. The smell was astoundingly beautiful, as their eyes fell upon all of the deliciousness. "I cant wait to eat all of this cluck pizza" Scootachicken said who then started to peck at the ground, which was yep you guessed it, made out of pizza. Gangsta Bloom was going to have a big bite, when she heard some large booming noises that sounded suspiciously like footsteps,Then she saw it. He was at least 75 feet tall and wore glasses, crossing his arms as if he was about to speak. And then, he spoke. "check this out" and then he began to squat and concentrated very hard. Gangsta Bloom was about to ask what the heck is going on, but she realized it would be futile to ask, since she would know soon. Rocco Botte than said immortal words that will be forever preserved in history. "PIZZA DAY" Rocco then let out a gigantic fart, poisoning all of the pizza in the dimension. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" said Scootachicken and Gangsta Bloom. "welp, lets cluck get back home." And so, they found a portal to Equestria and things in life were about the same as they always had been, that is, until Scootachicken got an idea that may even change their very fate.....Autors Nose: Yes there will be a sequel.
