Even Stars can Fall

Chapters

Feelings
Nopony is an Island
By the Light of the Moon

Feelings

It had been weeks since Starlight began her studies under Twilight, but even after all this time there was still something she didn’t understand. At first she thought it was her amazement at how quickly everything had turned around for her. She remembered wondering if this was all a dream, pondering if this were some kind of a cruel trick, worrying that at any moment everything would fall apart at the seams and their cutie marks would once again tear her friends away. She smiled her biggest smiles, took part in any group function, any price was worth paying to prevent that fate. But despite any mistakes on her part, Twilight’s friends… my friends she reminded herself, seemed genuinely interested in becoming friends with her. She shook her head, no… that’s not it.

It was Twilight. Not her seemingly abrupt forgiveness, but rather a question of how. How had that mare done what nopony else could do? She remembered how dead set on revenge she had been, how determined she was. How in Equestria had any one mare taken all of that frustration and anger and calmed it, like a breeze extinguishing a candle’s flame? She remembered how hard she had to fight in those last moments just to retain what little anger inside of her, how she grasped at straws trying and failing to find a good reason to follow through. Then there was the worried look in Twilight’s eyes, it seemed as though in that final moment the worry that Twilight felt was for her more than Equestria. Maybe that was wishful thinking, but even if it was, why had she wished for that?
“Starlight, we’re home” Twilight called from the front door.

Starlight sprung from under the covers and rushed to greet her new mentor and friend. “Welcome home Princess Twilight! Welcome home to you too Spike!”

Twilight giggled at that. “C’mon Starlight, we’ve been friends for nearly a month now and you’re living in my house. There’s no need for formalities, plus it still feels weird having ponies call me Princess, especially my friends.”

“I’m sorry Prin… Twilight, I just well… anyways how was your trip to Canterlot?” Even though she asked, Starlight couldn’t concentrate on what Twilight was saying. She had more pressing matters to think over. She looked Twilight over from her tail to her eyes and back again, looking for anything she might have missed. In the end her only observations were that Twilight was a beautiful mare and took good care of her mane and coat.

“How does she do it?” Starlight wondered aloud midway through Twilight’s story.

“How does who do what?” Twilight asked, then in a concerned tone “are you okay Starlight?”

“Huh, oh, I mean yeah I’m fine. I probably just need to lie down for a bit. What were you saying again? Something about the Canterlot Library?” Starlight found it difficult to focus. On one hand there was a question in her mind that she felt needed to be addressed, on the other Twilight was her friend and mentor and she felt like she should listen to her. Friendship is hard, how did I even manage with one friend as a filly? thought Starlight.

“But all our friends have said you’ve been in the castle for two days, at first I thought they might be exaggerating but looking at you now, you don’t look so good.” Spike followed up, saying “You look just like Twilight after an all-nighter.” He handed her a mirror. They were right. Her mane and tail were a mess and she hadn’t even showered the last two nights. She was so focused on sorting through her pent up feelings and questions that she forgot.

“I’ll be fine Twilight, I’ll just…” grrrbl her stomach chose this moment to announce that she hadn’t eaten since yesterday morning. Starlight rolled her eyes before saying “I guess I could go for a hayburger.”

The two ponies ordered at the counter and found a booth nearby to wait. Twilight was the first to speak.

“Starlight, is something bothering you?” she asked, again with that worried look.

“I want to tell you Twilight, I just… I don’t even know what it is. That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out it’s just… ugh, I’ve never dealt with anything like this.” She couldn’t lie to Twilight, that’d only make things worse. But she really didn’t understand these new feelings.

“Maybe I can help, tell me about it.” Twilight seemed a bit overeager but from what Starlight had seen of her back when she was trying to find her weakness, this was just how she was with friendship problems. Always wanting to learn something new, striving to become a better pony and friend and improve the lives of others. Maybe this was just what she needed. But for some reason she couldn’t bring herself to let Twilight know that this problem was about her.

Maybe Twilight would feel like she’d wronged her in some way like Moon Dancer and spend the next few days trying to make things up to her. That might actually be kind of nice. Starlight shook her head. No; Twilight is my friend, I can’t take advantage of her like that.

“Okay, recently I’ve been getting these strange feelings around a certain pony. It seems like every time we talk I have these moments where I just get caught up in their eyes, their mane, the feeling of being around them. Even just thinking about them makes me feel… strange, sometimes I just zone out.” Starlight looked back up at her mentor. “So… you’ve heard my story, what do you think it is?”

Twilight was blushing from ear to ear. “Well, you see Starlight I think you’ve…”

“Number 28” called the clerk.

“Oh, that’s us” said Twilight as they trotted up to the counter to get their food. Once seated again, they began to dig in.

“What were you about to say, Twilight?” asked Starlight before taking a long sip of water.

“Oh, that’s easy. You’re in love. Or at least in like.” she said with a broad smile. Starlight nearly choked on her water. Once her coughing fit ended she turned to Twilight and stared blankly for a few moments before excusing herself to go to the restroom.

Starlight made it through the rest of her evening with Twilight, but now she had more questions than before. She’d nearly lost it and crawled out the bathroom window, but then she realized that she was living at Twilight’s castle and even then Twilight still didn’t know which pony she was referring to. When she’d returned, Twilight had tried to get an answer out of her but eventually relented, offering to help if she got up the nerve to ask the pony out.On the way home she got to hear about Twilight’s trip.

She had been visiting with some old friends from Canterlot. Minuette had wanted her to stay another night because Lyra was coming the next day but she decided against it. Starlight wondered if she was part of the reason then shook her head. There was probably some other reason. There was no way she was that important to Twilight.

When they finally got home and said goodnight Starlight breathed a sigh of relief. She was staying on the second floor, mainly because she liked the view of Ponyville it gave her but also to have some space to herself. She looked off into the dark night sky illuminated only by the light of Princess Luna’s moon and stars. After a while she pulled a small white book from her shelf and opened it to her last entry. She pulled out a quill and some ink and began to write.

There are so many things going through my mind right now, it’s hard to figure out what to write. Why do I have to deal with love before I even have a good handle on friendship? It’s no fair. Thinking back, even when Sunburst was around I was never particularly attracted to him. And I was always too shy to talk to anypony else. After I set up my village without cutie marks I guess I just felt like I didn’t need love.

Maybe it’s because I have real friends now. I don’t know. What if I’m wrong about this and what if Twilight isn’t interested? I could ruin our friendship forever. But Twilight said that it’s up to me to make sure that doesn’t happen. I found out how true that was on our trip to my old village, I can fix my friendships even if it may be hard to face up to what I’ve done. Twilight’s probably right too, I mean she knows so much about friendship, why should I doubt her now? And what i~
Her quill and journal tumbled to the floor to join the ink she had set beside her bed as her magic dissipated when she fell asleep.

Starlight found herself in a dark room with Twilight. The purple alicorn faced away from her so she couldn’t see her face. As Starlight approached she heard something. Twilight was crying.

“What’s wrong Twilight?”

Twilight turned and stared at Starlight. “Why didn’t you tell me?” she asked.

“Tell you what?” she responded sheepishly. But all she heard in response was the same question over and over again as if many other ponies were standing behind the walls echoing her sentiment. Then a shadow in the shape of a unicorn came and took Twilight away. Starlight remained, frozen to that spot as the room darkened until it was pitch black. All the while the echo continued until Starlight finally cried out “MAKE IT STOP! MAKE IT STOP! MAKE It stop. Somepony please make it stop.” Within a few moments the echoes faded and she felt hooves wrap around her.

“What is wrong, my little pony?” asked the Princess of the night mimicking her sister in her dealings with Twilight and her friends. In the past she could sometimes get away with telling ponies the problem outright but in the time since her return Celestia had informed her of a more conversational avenue which helped ponies to learn more about themselves.

“Why couldn’t I tell her, she was right there and there was nothing I could do.”

“Calm down” replied Luna in a gentle and even tone.”This is a dream, it is no more real than the fears which fester inside of you. Do you know what drove you to have such a dream?” Luna asked.

Starlight thought for a moment, then hung her head and sighed. There was no use lying to Princess Luna. And she needed somepony to talk to about this. She certainly couldn’t say anything to any of Twilight’s friends, that would only be a burden on them. “I think I’m in love with Twilight Sparkle. I’m afraid of what will happen if I never tell Twilight how I feel about her, but at the same time she’s my first friend since Sunburst. I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I don’t want to lose her to somepony else just because I was too afraid to try.” She paused for a moment then, looking up at Luna “I’m not a good friend, am I?”

Luna looked upon Starlight with as much tenderness as she imagined one would bestow upon their own foal. “This does not make you a bad friend, rather it means that you have a choice you must make. Twilight’s friendship is stronger than you think and even if she cannot accept your feelings, I have no doubt she will not end your friendship, nor your apprenticeship to her. You should have seen her face when she told our… my sister she had an apprentice. She even did that silly bouncing thing she does.”

Starlight giggled at that. She’d seen Twilight do that before. No matter how she imagined it afterwards, she couldn’t help but think of how adorable it was.

“So, do you know anything about romance, Princess Luna? I’m not really sure how I should go about this whole confession thing.” She felt kind of awkward asking another mare for romantic advice. Even her parents had been too busy with work to talk to her about it. Not that she could after she ran away from home.

“I do know quite a few things personally, though those may seem a bit dated. My sister and Cadence jumped at the chance to instruct us… me on some of the ‘romance do’s and don’ts’ of the current day. I could share a little of both with you if you’d like.” Looking at her now, Luna could hardly believe that Starlight had done the things Twilight reported to her sister in her letters.

And so they talked about romance tips among other things. Starlight found herself really warming up to Princess Luna. She was kind and very helpful. Her speech slipped occasionally but even that was somewhat endearing.

“So, have you made your decision?” Luna asked.

“Yes, thank you so much Princess Luna. Can we talk about what happens tomorrow night? I want to tell you how things went.”

“Certainly, though I may be a bit late. You’re not the only pony with nightmares after all. Well, looks like it’s about time you woke up. Maybe Twilight can bring you up to Canterlot sometime when I’m awake.” They both laughed at that.

“Maybe.” Starlight said.

Twilight woke up to the smell of breakfast. It seemed Spike had made pancakes. She was surprised to see Spike asleep in his bed on her way to the dining room. Seems Starlight had done the cooking today. That was odd, Starlight almost never woke up this early.

She decided to let Spike sleep. He worked hard enough and deserved a little extra rest every now and again. As she reached the dining room she was greeted by Starlight wearing an apron.

“Good morning Twilight!”

“Oh good morning Starlight, thank you for making breakfast.” Twilight couldn’t quite put her hoof on it, but there was something different about Starlight today. She looked the mare up and down and it wasn’t long before she noticed that Starlight had done her hair up in pigtails like when she was younger. Not only that, she seemed a lot happier today.

“I like what you’ve done with your mane. What’s the occasion?” Twilight said.

“Oh, well the other day you just said they looked cute on me so I decided to try them out again. I’m glad you like it.” Starlight was practically squealing on the inside.

“And what’s got you in such a good mood?” Twilight always was a curious one.

“Why do you say that?” She replied innocently.

“Well you’re up early, you’re making breakfast for us, you chose today to change your hairstyle. Wait a moment, are you going to confess to that pony today? You seemed so afraid earlier, what changed your mind?”

“I got a little help from a certain mare in my dreams last night.” Twilight couldn’t help but smile at that.

Starlight levitated breakfast to the table and for a long time the two ate in silence. When they finished eating, Starlight spoke up. “Hey Twilight, you know how you said you’d help me?”

“Of course, what do you need? I could tell you more about what I’ve read or Stallionberg’s triangular theory of love or…”

“No, nothing like that, just come with me.” Starlight cut in. If she’d let Twilight go on much longer about pony psychology she’d never hear the end of it.

“Oh, ok so where are we going?”

“You’ll see” said Starlight in a singsong voice.

“We’re here!” Starlight exclaimed as the two reached the river near the middle of the park. Twilight really enjoyed seeing Starlight in such a good mood.

Twilight looked around, searching for the pony Starlight had told her about. Seeing nopony around, she looked back at her student in confusion.

“Maybe they’re just late.” she said nervously.

“No, she’s already here.” Starlight replied. Twilight looked around again more carefully, expecting them to jump out of a bush or something at any moment. After a few minutes she gave up.

“Is this some kind of prank? There’s nopony else here.”

“Look down at the river.” Twilight did as she asked, seeing only her own reflection.

“Twilight, I’d like to introduce you to Twilight. She’s been right there by my side only these past few weeks yet I feel like we’ve known each other forever. Maybe if we had I wouldn’t have done such awful things. She’s beautiful; not just in appearance, but in her heart and mind. After all that I put her through, she forgave me. She forgave me even when I found it so difficult to forgive myself and helped me reconcile with the ponies I’d hurt for so long.” Starlight was on the verge of tears when she looked up at her mentor. “I… I love you Twilight, and no matter how you feel I won’t accept a future without you in it. You taught me that I’m the only one who can make sure my friendships don’t all end the same way so even if you don’t feel the same way I will never let our friendship end.”

All the while Twilight’s heart felt hot and heavy in her chest. She looked at Starlight with tears beginning to form in her own eyes. She searched for words to express how she felt. Nearly a full minute of fidgeting later, “Wow. I… well, I don’t really know how to respond. It’s so strange. I feel so weird. I still don’t know how to feel and maybe I’m just getting caught up in the moment but if you’re serious about this then I’m willing to give it… to give us a try.”

“That’s okay Twilight, we can still be… wait, was that a yes?” her eyes shot open and her jaw dropped as she looked at the mare. Twilight giggled.

“That was a yes, I still don’t know for sure how I really feel and everything I know about love comes from books and what I’ve heard from other ponies. I figure this may be the best way to find out. And don’t worry, I won’t stop being your friend and I won’t stop teaching you about friendship just because I find out we can’t be together romantically.”

Starlight trotted over and slid her hooves around her neck, burying her head in her coat for a moment before stepping back and looking her in the eyes. “Thank you so much Twilight. To be completely honest I don’t know the first thing about love, I just know how I feel and some of the reasons why I care. I just hope I can become a pony who makes you feel the same way I feel about you. A pony worthy of your love.” It felt so good to finally say these things aloud.

Twilight paused for a moment, as though thinking something over. When she seemed to have made up her mind, she closed the distance between them and planted a kiss on Starlight’s lips. “If that’s what you want I’d say you’re already well on your way.”

Author's Note

This isn't my first time writing but it's the first thing I've actually published and my first time working with romance so I hope you enjoy. :twilightblush: MLP belongs to Hasbro as do its characters. I just like writing about them. Constructive criticism is welcome and I might make more chapters if requested. :twilightsmile:

Nopony is an Island

Author's Note

Finally releasing the third chapter, I actually finished it a while ago but finding the right time to get it to my editor was hard, and my work/college obligations didn't help. Finally, I gave up on a face to face meeting about it and just sent them the Google Doc. If you want more info go check out my latest blog, Soon. Hope you like the new chapter :twilightsmile:

Nopony is an Island

A week had passed since they’d made plans for lunch with their friends. Life kept getting in the way and pushing things back. Three friendship problems and a monster attack in one week, it was so normal for Ponyville at this point that it was a wonder how nothing had happened sooner.

Starlight sat out on her veranda, taking in the sights of Ponyville once more. She saw ponies going about their daily lives: Ms. Cake was milling about buying ingredients, Berry Punch was already drunk and stumbling along the avenue Twilight had left earlier to gather their friends in the castle. As she looked out at the calm scenery of ponies having picnics, wind blowing gently through the trees, still she felt conflicted. Ugh, I just don’t know how to feel about all this. What’ll happen when they know? I know I haven’t known Twilight’s friends long, but what happens when they find out about Twilight and I? Will they treat me differently? Should I act differently towards them? How does this all even work? It’s so frustrating not knowing what to expect. Back in that village everything was so much… easier.

Aww, who am I kidding? Of course it was easier. What we had wasn’t even friendship, not real friendship anyways. I didn’t have a meaningful relationship with any of them, I was too busy with my plan to “save ponies” from their cutie marks. Even if I hadn’t been so obsessed with that ideal, I suppressed so much of their personalities that they were just shadows of their former selves. She gave a heavy sigh. How am I supposed to learn about friendship and love when I’m so far behind?
She trotted over to the mirror and stared at herself for a few moments. And how do they see me? Just some broken pony who doesn’t get it? Do they feel sorry for me? Is that it? Starlight chuckled wearily, as though at some bad joke. Not bad in the sense that it falls flat, but rather because it hit too close to home, like how somepony who actively struggled with an illness might laugh at their own self-deprecating joke. Uncomfortable, but not wanting to draw attention to it.

So what if they do? It’s all true after all. Everything’s just so complicated and it’s not like there’s some book that explains these things. All they’ve done since we became friends is try to help and be understanding. Why am I doubting them like this? Friends shouldn’t doubt one another, should they? I wish they’d doubted me more back then.

Starlight shook her head, No, I don’t mean that. If the ponies in Our Town hadn’t listened to me, I wouldn’t be here with Twilight today. Wait, that’s messed up when I think about it; I regret it, I just don’t know what to think. And why did I have to rush things? I could’ve waited, Twilight didn’t have anypony else vying for her affections, right? I could blame Twilight or Luna for dragging it out of me, but that just doesn’t seem right either. Was it even really a mistake? Well I guess it doesn’t really matter now, but why did I have to be so impatient? She put a hoof to the mirror. “What should I do?”

“Would it be terribly inconvenient if I brought Sweetie Belle along?” Rarity pleaded, pausing to take a sip of tea as she did so. She lowered her voice so Sweetie wouldn’t hear her. “Apple Bloom’s helping Big Mac with his delivery and Scootaloo’s parents took her along with them on business since Flitter said she can’t foalsit for them this week and I don’t feel comfortable leaving her alone at the boutique. It’s not that I don’t trust her, just that when she’s bored and left to her own devices she sometimes gets into some… interesting situations.”

“What about your parents? I’m sorry, it’s just this lunch is kind of important and I’ve got something to tell all of you that I’m not sure I’m ready for anypony else to hear just yet.” Twilight knew if she said too much Rarity might guess it on her own, but she wasn’t sure if Starlight was ready for anypony outside their circle of friends to know about their relationship.

“They’re on vacation in Whinneapolis. If it helps I can send Sweetie out of the room when the time comes though. Would that be alright?”

Twilight sighed. “That should be fine, I think. I’ll see you there then.” the purple princess replied before turning around and proceeding down the path towards the castle she called home.

“That’s all of them, now all we gotta do is make lunch and wait.” Even as she said that, the anticipation was killing her. Ever since coming to Ponyville these ponies had taught her so much, it was only recently that she’d realized how much she still had yet to learn about relationships. It still felt so strange, seeing somepony she once considered her enemy, then her friend, student, and cohabitant of her home in that light.

Even in a normal situation somepony’s first love is supposed to feel strange and new and exciting. I can’t even begin to cover how this feels yet. It’s like every time I see her I have to remind myself that we’re together now. It’s kind of… exciting. I mean I’ve been involved in so many exciting events, but this one’s different. This one feels a bit more… personal? It’s weird, every time I think about it and what the future might hold my heart fills with both warmth and dread. I feel fear for what might happen but also the warm embrace of Starlight’s feelings and maybe my feelings for her as well.

I feel so conflicted, I mean there are so many kinds of love and from what I’ve read it seems to be different for everypony at least to some degree. How can I know that I’m not just excited to explore something new. It’s only been a few days, but we live together, so every day I find myself asking if I really like her like that. I still don’t know if I should commit to this. It makes Starlight happy and the way she feels about me makes me happy and I like that, but how do I really feel about Starlight? It’s frustrating, but also exciting and new, I just hope that I don’t end up breaking her heart.

“Twilight! Hey, Twilight!”

“Huh? What?”

“I’ve been trying to get your attention for a while now, but you just kept walking! Is something wrong?” Spike asked, looking concerned.

“It’s nothing to worry about, you’ll hear all about it at lunch. Or some of it anyways. But what were you trying to tell me?”

“I figured you were on your way back, but then you just walked right past the castle! You had that look you do when you’re deep in thought, so I figured you might not have realized. You promise you’ll tell me all about this over lunch?”

“Don’t worry so much, Spike, for once it’s good news.” At least I think it is.

Starlight shifted uncomfortably next to Twilight. Despite her best efforts, she was unable to hide it from her friends.

Twilight cleared her throat and gave Rarity a nod.

“Sweetie Belle, darling, would you mind waiting outside for a moment? We have some important matters to discuss.”

“Aww, do I have to?”

“I’ll get you some ice cream on the way home.”

“Rarityyyyy.”

“Okay, fine. I’ll let you go to that Coloratura concert next week on two conditions, you leave the room for a until we’re done talking and when the time comes I’m going with you.”
Sweetie’s eyes lit up at that. “Can I bring Apple Bloom and Scootaloo along?”

Rarity gave a pleading glance in Applejack’s direction before responding. “If their families are okay with it, I don’t see why not."

Applejack sighed. “Alright, but have her back by midnight.” Already she was preparing the don’t do anything you’d be ashamed to tell granny about talk she’d be giving Apple Bloom when she got back.

“Yes ma’am, thank you!” she replied as she trotted out into the hall.

As soon as everypony saw Sweetie Belle leave, they turned to Twilight.

“So what exactly is all this about?” Applejack asked incredulously.

“Yeah! You’ve been acting weird all day, is everything alright?” Rainbow chimed in.

Twilight took a deep breath. “As you know, Starlight has been living here with me for a while now. During that time or… maybe before? Anyways she developed… feelings for me of the” she swallowed. “Well, romantic feelings for me which she... “

Noticing Twilight’s distress, Starlight interrupted. “What she means to say is… we’re dating now.” A fierce blush crossed her face as she tried to hide it by looking away.

“What?” Spike looked from one to the other, connecting the dots in his mind.

“Finally! I almost thought you’d take another month!” Pinkie exclaimed.

“Wait, Wha-” Starlight started.

“Oh, come on, you were totally obvious, anypony would notice! The way you looked at Twilight like she was some kind of goddess or something.” Rainbow replied.

“How long have you known?” asked Twilight.

“Well, um, I’ve known for maybe three weeks now. About Starlight’s feelings, I mean.” Fluttershy answered.

“B-but I didn’t even know how I felt about Twilight then. I didn’t even know what it meant to be in love! How did everypony know before me?”

“It’s kind of obvious with the amount of time you spend staring at Twilight’s flank.”

“Rainbow!” Rarity chided.

“What, it’s true!”

“Whether it’s true or not, there’s no need to point it out like that.” said Applejack.

“S-so anyways, b-back to the topic at hoof. The reason we called you here to tell you this is b-because this is a new thing for both of us, so we’d like your support.” Starlight stammered.

“Is that all? Why of course we’ll be there for y’all, just because you’re together now doesn’t change that we’re friends.”

“Are you kidding? I’ve been planning a party for you two for a while now! Of course I’ll be right there with you!”

“Now Pinkie, I’m not certain they want all of Ponyville to know just yet. Let’s just keep this between us for now, okay?”

“Of course I’ve got your back!” Rainbow exclaimed. “I might even have a few pointers for you if you’re interested.”

“Oh, don’t kid yourself darling, when it comes to romance you can’t tell your hooves from your flank!”

Laughter resounded as the tension drained from the room. In time even Spike returned from his shocked stupor and joined in. Sweetie Belle was allowed back in, and though everypony remained tight lipped, Starlight was beginning to think that even she had caught on.

It was evening by the time everypony left, each providing them with vague words of encouragement before heading back home. They ate dinner and Spike headed off for bed. For the first time that day, Twilight and Starlight were alone.

“Hey, Starlight?”

“Yeah?”

“How does it feel being in love with me? I mean, I know it feels different for everypony, but how does it feel for you?”

Starlight breathed in, then out. “I’m going to be as honest as I can about this, okay. No more lies, right?”

Twilight gave a warm, tender smile and put a hoof on Starlight’s withers. “No more lies. At least between us.”

“It’s difficult to describe. At times I look at you and I feel my heart beating faster, and I feel like I want to be as close as possible to you, like a hug, but closer, like I want to be covered in you I guess. Other times I feel worry for the future, or pain at the idea that what either of us feels might not be love. Sometimes I convince myself that it’s just infatuation, or that I don’t deserve you. I realize that I’m still the same me that I’ve always been, but I feel like I’ve changed and I feel like that’s a good thing.” Starlight sighed.

“I think about what it might be like if we end up together for the rest of our lives, about how I’d live on if you died before me, or if we split up, or if you vanished from my life. It’s a feeling I’ve never felt before and often I find myself wondering how I ever got on without it but at the same time wish I didn’t have it so life wouldn’t have to be so complicated. It’s so many crazy feelings stretching me every which way at once all telling me something different but mainly that I can’t imagine a life without you in it anymore. Maybe it is infatuation, but even if that’s the case I want to make love out of it.” she laughed.

“That was a lot, wasn’t it, and that’s not even half of how I feel. I’m scared, happy, excited, full of dread, nervous, and so many other feelings besides.” Starlight shook her head. “I’m a mess, aren’t I?”

The Princess of Friendship stood there for a moment, and in the next she held Starlight in her hooves. “If you’re a mess, I guess I am too. I keep wondering if what I’m feeling is love, or if I just don’t want to make you sad. I ask myself if the warm feeling in my heart comes from you or the things you say to me. Sometimes I look at you and I think you look cute, then I second guess myself, I wonder if I’m trying to make myself think these things for your sake. Because I want to keep that smile on your face. I just don’t know how I feel, I have this preconceived notion of how I should feel, but I’m not even sure if that’s right anymore. When we kissed, it felt good and right even, but I don’t know if that’s because I wanted so bad for things to work out or if I actually felt that way about you.” As she continued to talk tears welled up in her eyes. “I’ve never been so confused. I want to love you so bad that I don’t know if I do love you, I don’t even know whether or not that’s a bad thing. Maybe I do. Maybe I love you and I can’t even tell because up until recently you’ve been like a child to me. You were supposed to be my adorable student, I was going to be for you what Princess Celestia was for me and so much more, so how did you become my beautiful mare?”

As the tears streamed down Twilight’s cheeks, Starlight wiped them away. “Twilight, as long as you’re by my side, I’ll always be happy. I still love you, but just being around you is enough for me. Now tell me, do you feel like you want things to go back to how they were?”

Twilight started at that. “No! I mean, I still have these feelings, you still look so amazing in this light. I don’t think I can go back to how things were. Maybe I’m wrong about my feelings, but I get what you’re saying. If I keep thinking like this, I’ll never know for sure. And even if I’m wrong, I still feel happy when I’m with you, I still see you and my heart skips a beat. Even if these feelings are fake, they feel real enough for me. I love you, Starlight. If I don’t really feel that way, then I’ll convince my heart that I do.”

Twilight kissed her. It lasted for only a minute but for the two ponies it seemed to last ten times that.

I don’t know how to feel. Starlight sat on her balcony, staring up at the moon and stars. In them she saw a turbulent ocean of constellations.

Am I forcing Twilight to feel this way? Or was Twilight actually doubting herself too much, like she said she might be? Ugh, why can’t everything be simple? Why does life have to be so complicated? I said all those things earlier about love and how I feel but really even then I don’t really know anything beyond the fact that I’ve never felt this way about another pony. But I have no other word for these feelings.

I just wish it were the same for everypony, like anger or joy. I wish I could look love up in a medical journal and get a list of symptoms. But all either of us know is this jumble of feelings.

Starlight headed to her bed and tucked herself in. Just thinking about it hurts my head. Maybe Luna will know more about this. Or maybe she’ll be able to ask Princess Cadence, she probably knows all about love. It is her domain after all.

Several minutes of tossing and turning later, she was fast asleep.

“Are you awake, Spike?” asked the purple alicorn.

“Yeah, what is it?”

“Do you ever doubt your crush on Rarity? I mean, how do you know you feel that way?” she asked pensively.

“I dunno, it’s just a warm feeling I get in my heart when I see her, when I hear her voice, or the way I worry about her when she’s in trouble. It’s just a bunch of feelings I can’t explain any other way.”

“How do you keep going knowing that she doesn’t think of you that way? I mean, have you ever found somepony else you like that way? What if she’s never able to return those feelings to you?”

“Listen, I may be younger than you, but I’m not an idiot. I know Rarity doesn’t feel the same way. There’ve been a couple others who have caught my eye and someday I know I’ll have to move on. The way I see it, I’m just enjoying this feeling while it lasts. So often you hear older ponies say that they wish they were still young and free, it makes me want to make the most of what I have now. Someday, Rarity’s probably going to settle down with somepony else, but at least I’ll be able to say that I tried. And I’ll always have those memories, ya’ know?”

“I never knew you thought about this so deeply.”

“Well, it’s kind of hard not to when I’m left with so much free time. You go off on adventures, sometimes spend an entire week on a friendship problem, and I’m left behind to clean the castle. Sure I have other things I do when you’re away, sometimes I hang out with Big Mac, I catch up with some of the neighbors, sometimes I even write my own letters to Princess Celestia. Nothing too formal, but she says she enjoys that aspect. Apparently ruling a kingdom and maintaining appearances is so stressful that even a normal conversation is a welcome change of pace. But between all of that I think about my life, my future, what I want to see when I look back on however many years down the line, wondering if I’ll ever get a different job or just be your assistant forever. I think about a lot of things while I work or when I’m home alone and there’s plenty of books around.”

“Wait, what? How have I never heard about any of this?”

“You never ask. Besides, it’s easier to just not bring it up, you have enough on your plate as is. I don’t want to worry you. I’m more surprised you two managed to keep something so big from me. I guess that’s why I’m so chatty tonight. Still kind of in shock, in just a few words my world changed. By the way, you were asking me about how I know I love Rarity, are you two having problems with that?”

“Never mind, Spike, goodnight.”

That response told Spike all he needed to know. There would be no further discussion about this and even if there was it would be on her terms. Besides, he was tired and now wasn’t the best time to press Twilight on the issue. “Yeah, goodnight.”

Princess Luna paced back and forth along the shore of her island dreamscape. As nights go, this one was pretty light on nightmares, she might have gone out hunting pony-eating monsters or maybe played chess or cards with one of her royal guards if this were a few weeks ago. Now she had somepony she was waiting for, somepony she wanted to see not for business, but for pleasure. She was waiting on a friend.

She was so focused on waiting for her friend in fact that she almost didn’t notice the pony crying out in agony from a nearby dream. Luna leapt into the nightmare almost entirely out of habit. Suddenly she was engulfed in darkness, though she could see a spotlight in the distance. As she got closer to the light, the form of the pony beneath it grew clearer. Their coat was a transparent purple. She began to make out what appeared to be wings, then her horn. It was Twilight.

Upon closer examination Luna realized something. Twilight was not alone, she was embracing a young foal with pigtails. Within Twilight, Luna saw a radiant heart exuding a warm glow.

Another spotlight appeared parallel to the first. With it came another Twilight. She held a beautiful mare in her arms, though one could tell at a glance that this embrace was of a different nature. This Twilight’s heart burned brightly, intensely, as though it were a bonfire on the night of a festival. The mare and the filly were both Starlight. It was some pretty cut and dry symbolism, but the meaning all depended on whose dream it was and until knew that, Luna couldn’t determine for certain what it meant or how she could help. Fortunately for her, she didn’t need to wait long.

A third light revealed the real Twilight between the two figures. She kept looking one way, then the other.

Luna flew over to the distraught pony. “What is the matter, Twilight?” she asked, feigning ignorance.

“There’s a bridge on each side of me. If I choose the wrong one, both bridges are gonna collapse. If I choose right, only the opposite bridge collapses.”

“Who are you trying to reach?”

“I’m trying to reach myself, but I don’t know which one’s me.”

“And there is your problem.”

“What do you mean?”

“Are you sure that there is not a third bridge?”

“I haven’t seen a third bridge, I can’t see any of the bridges, just what lies on the other side.”

“You have a third option, Twilight. One that leads to both.”

“But how’s that possible? I can’t have it both ways!”

“And I thought you knew all about this, Miss Stallionberg’s Triangular Theory of Love.”

“According to his philosophy there are three forms of love: passion, commitment, and intimacy. But how does familial love fit into that?”

“The love you feel is similar, but not quite the same. You will never be her mother, though you may care for her in the same ways. Intimacy describes warmth, closeness, and sharing. These are not restricted to family, though if you buy into Stallionberg’s model, it is only one third of the whole that is romantic love. In other words, romance cannot work with just one aspect. Right now it seems as though you feel that you must either give in to your passion or simply be as intimate with her as a mother is with her daughter. If you felt only one of these kinds of love, then you might be better off leaving it at that. Love with only passion and your love burns bright, but fades fast. Love with only commitment and in time you will grow bitter, like a worker who receives no pay. Love with only intimacy and your love will slowly wither and die with no spark to ignite it. Only with all three can a healthy relationship be born. Though according to my teacher, they should add in communication for good measure.”

“Teacher?”

“Cadence has decided to tutor us on all things love in this new era. We- I was not around for Steinberg’s time, but from how passionately she speaks about the psychology of love, I figure he had to be onto something.”

“Oh, I was wondering how you knew so much about him, you never really struck me as the romantic type. No offense.”

“I assure you that I am not offended. But more importantly, you have a bridge to cross.”

Twilight turned around to find what Luna was pointing at, an illuminated bridge spanning a larger distance than the other two combined, and at the end sat Starlight all by herself.

Luna placed a hoof across her withers, “Go, Twilight, she is waiting for you, all of you.”

As Twilight headed down the new bridge, Luna sunk back into the shadows. As much as she’d have loved to talk more with Twilight like she had with Starlight, there were some dreams where it was best not to break immersion. This time she would act as though she were but another element of the purple princess’s dream. Better to let her believe that this was entirely her own idea.

That said, a dream does not carry the same weight as a lesson, at least not unless it is remembered in its entirety. Usually it’s more like a seed, lying in the unconscious mind, occasionally giving a little unexplained push one way or another. One day a pony may decide on a different meal than usual, take the long route home, clean the bathroom early this month. These things are usually decided “on a whim” and not every decision made in this way can always be entirely explained even; at times, by dreams.

The Princess of the Night liked to believe that even in circumstances such as these, she had some small impact, though perhaps just big enough to bring about change.

Perhaps this will lessen your doubts. It may be slow, but I believe in the two of you. I wonder if it is a bit selfish of us, hoping that one so similar to myself finds joy.

Starlight rolled around a few times, trying to avoid the rays of the sun pouring over the balcony and through her window. But try as she might, in her head she knew it was already too late, she was awake. Despite this, she couldn’t help the feeling that she needed to be asleep, needed to meet somepony. Then it dawned on her, Luna never came to talk to her last night.

It shouldn’t have been strange for Princess Luna to be too busy to visit somepony’s dream, but after a week of midnight meetups it had become strange to her. Most ponies rarely meet with Luna, but to Starlight it had become so common that she found her absence peculiar. Whenever she was together with Luna, it brought back this old nostalgic feeling. It was like being together with Sunburst again but different, Luna and Sunburst were different ponies after all.
Princess Luna was friendly and full of energy most of the time, but she could easily slip into a more serious conversation. This always seemed to make her a bit sad, as though she wanted so badly to cling to that goofy, happy-go-lucky demeanor. Sunburst was always more careful and introverted, but from what she could tell he enjoyed being pulled outside of his comfort zone. It was as though he wanted some excuse to be a little more social. She could imagine him thinking to himself It’s okay because I’m doing this for someone else’s sake, not my own.

Why do I feel the need to compare those two? Does that mean I see her as a friend? And now that I think about it, how long have I been calling her Luna? Maybe I’ll talk to her about it next time. I hope she’s alright. Well, time to get up I guess.

As she attempted to lift herself from the bed she noticed something was holding her there, preventing her from getting up. From behind her she heard a low mumble followed by “...five more minutes…” then more mumbling. Bit by bit she realized what was going on.
That was Twilight’s voice. She was sleeping right behind Starlight, hooves and wings embracing her gently. Slowly, as subtly as she could, she turned to face Twilight. She may not have been able to get back to sleep, but five more minutes lying next to her new marefriend was more than enough for her.

By the Light of the Moon

The pair sat down by the river. Starlight still had so many questions. In time one pushed its way to the forefront of her mind.

“So, um, what happens now?” she asked the purple alicorn princess beside her.

For a long time there was no reply, only silence. When Starlight opened her mouth to repeat the question, Twilight spoke. “I don’t really know. I’ve read book after book on the subject but none of them really mention this specific situation in depth. I know a lot about how to be a good friend but I think it’s a bit different being a good partner. A bit more intimate. I guess I should start by learning more about you.”

“Sounds simple enough, what do you want to know?” she made a pose as though bracing for impact.

“Well, what’s your favorite book?”

Starlight grimaced. “That’s a bit difficult.”

“Why is that?” her mentor gave her a quizzical look.

“Over the past few years I’ve used books more for their function than for pleasure. Running a village was harder than it seems and constantly studying magic on top of that was... stressful to say the least. Now it all just seems like such a waste”

Twilight was reminded of her own foalhood, buried in books with no time for friends. “Hey Starlight,”

“Yeah?”

She put a hoof over Starlight’s withers “ it wasn’t a waste.”

“But… ”

“It brought you here, didn’t it? And there’s so much a pony with your talent can do for Ponyville, for all of Equestria.” she smiled. “Your turn to ask a question.”

She tossed and turned, but no matter how she tried, sleep continued to eluded her. What is it? Am I nervous? Am I excited? Maybe it’s both. Nervouscited? That’s a Pinkie Pie word if I’ve ever heard one. Starlight got up and trotted over to her balcony. It was a strange feeling. She had spent so long getting what she thought she wanted, only to have that torn apart and all of it leading up to this. How many years have I wasted when what I wanted was right in front of me the whole time? Do I really deserve this?

She leaned there for a while, looking out over the broad expanse of Ponyville as working ponies came and went, some returning from a long day at work while others headed out to work the night shift. All those wasted years. she sighed. It was something she thought about a lot now, where might she be if she had never started Our Town, if she never ran away from home. What happened to her parents, did they still care what happened to her? Had they moved on?

She levitated her journal, quill, and ink to a podium she had placed on the balcony. At times like this, the best solution was usually writing it down.

It’s near midnight again and once more I’m depriving myself of sleep. So much happened today. I confessed to Twilight and she said yes (well sort of) and she kissed me! At first I was very excited but now I can’t help but think of how much I don’t deserve this, don’t deserve her. I thought I’d finally come to terms with that but here it is rearing its ugly head again. This feeling of inadequacy.
I mean I haven’t really done much to make up for my mistakes. Twilight told me that I could help other ponies but so far all I’ve done is freeload off of her, apologize to the ponies I manipulated, play around with my new friends, ask Twilight to be my marefriend, and think of myself. I haven’t done anything for anypony else, let alone something worthy of Twilight’s affections or this new life.

I haven’t even gone to see my parents or written that letter to Sunburst that Twilight keeps encouraging me to write. I mean I’ve made attempts, but how do you write to somepony you haven’t seen in years about something that happened so long ago? He’s probably forgotten all about me.

I need to quit thinking about these things, Twilight told me I’m well on my way, but what have I, no, stop. I shouldn’t worry her unnecessarily. I just need to sleep. Hopefully I can do that now, I’d best not keep Princess Luna waiting.

She floated her journal back to its spot on the shelf and laid down once more on her bed.

The sky was gray ash blowing on a breeze. The ground shared in the sky’s demeanor and the world was bleak. Starlight stood in the middle of it all. She’d been here before half a dozen times by now though often this revelation of a recurring dream occurred only in her sleeping mind. The dream always lingered far longer on one subject than it should.

She would wander the wastes for miles and miles, never finding any remnant of civilization or even a single pony dead or alive. Her only real markers were the dead trees which were few and far between. It was just her, the last mare in Equestria.

So she wandered. She wasn’t necessarily looking for anything or if she was she never found it. After some time she saw a mare with a mane of stars approaching from afar.

“Princess Luna!” she called as she galloped over to the alicorn.

“Hello Starlight, we, I assume this is the wasteland timeline Twilight told me about.”

That stopped Starlight dead in her tracks, once more aware of how bare her subconscious was before the princess of the night. “Well, yes. I guess you know why too, huh?”

“There is no need to feel ashamed my little pony, I have been in a situation that was much the same.”

“What do you mean? You had nightmares like this?” Starlight was skeptical that the princess of the night could have nightmares and looked every bit of it.

“I’m sure you recall our, my return a few years back.”

“I remember hearing something about that, I was fairly busy during that time and didn’t really hear much aside from that Celestia’s sister had returned to the throne and around that time some monster tried to make it night time forever or something. I do recall the night lasting longer than usual though so I guess they succeeded for a bit.” she shrugged.

“That monster was me or to be more precise it was a being produced by the jealousy that consumed me over a thousand moons ago.”

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“Do not worry, thou didst not offend dear Starlight. Even we, even I consider that side of me to be a monster. In any case I was stopped and released from my dark persona Nightmare Moon and in the time following that night I was filled with guilt over what I had done. Not just then, but also a thousand years ago. Sound familiar?” she leaned her head down to meet Starlight’s gaze.

“Yes. So what happened then? How did you get over the guilt? Will I ever really feel like I deserve anything other than the contents of this miserable dream?”

“Calm down, I was getting to that. As a result of this feeling I created a being to ensure that I would have a nightmare every night to remind me of the pain I’d caused. We thought this to be no less than I deserved. A few years passed and eventually this creature grew strong enough to escape my dreams. In the end the only way to keep it from escaping the dream world was to forgive myself.” She looked at Starlight with a serious expression. “It took a disaster for me to let go of my past mistakes, it does not have to be that way for you. You must realize as I did that the best you can do is try to make up for your mistakes and while you may never succeed in fixing everything you have to let go of your past and focus on the future if you want to be happy.”

Starlight turned and stared out at the barren landscape. “You make it all sound so simple. Is that really it? What about all the ponies I hurt? It seems like they’ve forgiven me but I still can’t begin to understand why. I wasted years of their lives. I’ve ruined their lives. I keep feeling like one day I’ll wake up and everything will have been a dream. I keep waiting for the other hoof to drop but it never does.” she could hardly hold back her tears. Then she couldn’t.

She sat there for a while wrapped in Princess Luna’s hooves. Allowing the liquid representation of her pain, her regret, her fears, and all her wasted years flow from her eyes to the barren ground below. When she was done, Luna let go and stepped back.

The royal mare locked eyes with the lilac unicorn. “Starlight, the ponies you hurt joined you because they believed the same thing as you. Your methods were cruel but none of them tried to stop you or ever believed the path they took was wrong until recently. Yes, some longed for their cutie marks; but this was more a natural feeling they felt deep inside that something important was missing from their lives than because they did not believe in the same ideology. The only crime you were ever guilty of in their eyes was hiding your cutie mark and not making the same mistake they did. They probably blame themselves for the rest. Sometimes life cuts ponies like us a break, my advice is to take it, do your best to enjoy what you’ve been given, and fix what you can.”

Starlight slowly breathed in, then out. A therapeutic measure Twilight had taught her the last time she’d gotten really worked up. “Okay Princess Luna, I’ll try it. Thank you.”

“Now how about we leave this place?” she opened a door to another dream and Starlight followed her out.

“Where is this?” Starlight asked, looking around at the scenery. It looked so peaceful, from the violet skies to the placid shores surrounding the small island on which they stood.

“This is my new dream. I have never really brought anypony here. We, I did not make it long ago. How do you like it?” she looked at Starlight, eager to hear her response.

“It’s so peaceful. Just being here makes me feel so calm.”

Luna smiled. “Good, then we can meet here next time. If that is alright with you, that is.”

“Of course, oh and before I forget I had something else to talk to you about.” she beamed.

“I am guessing she said yes?”

“Yeah, but she’s not sure about how she feels about me. She said she’s willing to give us a try and that even if we don’t work out she’ll still be my mentor and friend. And she kissed me! But after that I had no idea what to do so we ended up just asking each other questions to get to know each other better, did you know Twilight’s afraid of quesadillas?”

Luna laughed at that “Really, quesadillas? But they are delicious, not scary.”

“I know right? I mean anything’s better that those muffins we used to get in Our Town but still.”

She waved a hoof. “But back to the topic at hand, you asked her out on a date, correct?”

“Um, no, it’s weird. I mean we live together so we can see each other all the time. I’m not sure where I’d take Twilight either if not the library and we live there. And I assume from the phrase 'go out' you're supposed to leave the house. I’ve never been on a date myself either, I wouldn’t know what to do. Maybe go somewhere to eat? But where?” Starlight looked at the ground and dug at the soil with her hoof.

Luna stared at her for a few moments before exclaiming “I have got it! We will practice.”

“Practice for a date? Is that a thing ponies do? How’s that work? Will it help me?”

“Yes. Yes. I will be Twilight and you will be you and we will go on a pretend date. I think it should help you.” The princess was looking forward to this. She’d been gone a thousand years and had missed many chances to play and enjoy being young because of it so she always enjoyed a break from her more serious duties. Though to be fair they weren’t nearly as demanding as her sister’s.

“Okay! I’m Twilight, ask me on a date.”

“Oh, okay. T-Twilight, would you like to go pthhhhahahaha, Princess Luna, don’t make faces like that! I can’t take you seriously.” Starlight put a hoof to her face.

“But what if Twilight ith making thith fathe when you athke her out?” she said through a tongue which currently seemed to be reaching for her left eye.

“Trust me, Twilight’s too serious for something like that.” Starlight replied, trying and failing to suppress another chuckle.

“Are you thure?” her tongue suddenly drooping like the tail of a dog being scolded.

“While that is very funny, we should try to be at least a little serious about this. We’ve only got so much time until morning.”

“If you want I can make the dream last longer.”

“And how would you do that?”

“Time moves faster in dreams than in the waking realm, I can control the speed of the dream and make it go faster.”

Starlight shook her head. Even after so many years of study, advanced alicorn magic was still confusing to her. It was like magic trigonometry but the bar was much higher. And if it were magic from another creature like dragon or hydra magic, it would be like learning another language and that was before scaling it down to be economical for a pony to use. At least Twilight’s spells still made sense. This kind of magic seemed almost foreign. “Let’s just go ahead with the practice date. If it’s too long of a dream I’ll probably forget a lot of it anyways.”

“Ok, suit thyself. Ask me again.”

Breathe in, breathe out. “Twilight, will you go on a date with me!?”

“Where do you want to go?” Luna said in her best Twilight impression.

“That didn’t, never mind let’s just um… wait, where should we go? Would a restaurant be ok or would that be too much? Should we just go for hayburgers or maybe Donut Joe’s? Maybe she’d prefer to go somewhere out of town or somewhere sentimental to her. What do you think?”

“Forsooth, I think that Twilight will enjoy it wherever you take her. This is only your first date. I asked Cadence for more advice after last night and she told me that a first date does not need to be in a romantic setting to be romantic.”

“You asked for more advice? How did you know Twilight would say yes?”

Luna smiled. “I didn’t, but even if she said no, she does not seem to be the type of pony who wouldn’t give you a second chance in due time. On Nightmare Night when everypony else was acting afraid of me, she came after me twice to show me that sometimes ponies like being scared, it was not I they were afraid of. She takes her friends seriously and from what I can tell she cares about you a great deal.”

“What makes you say that?”

“The way she talks about you. Even when she was in Canterlot she was worried if you were eating properly and agonizing over how to teach you. That was actually why she came.”

“Why doesn’t she just teach me the same way Celestia taught her?”

Her smile seemed to waver a bit at this. “Our, my sister works a lot. Probably more than she should and certainly more now than in the past. I learned that the hard way when I tried taking over for her for the day. Always it seems there are more problems in Equestrian politics than the day before. Monster attacks, entire castles and kingdoms rising from the ground, the Summer Sun Celebration, Grand Galloping Gala, and numerous other events; even with Twilight helping where she can, it is a lot. When Twilight was young she never got more than half a day out of her. My sister wishes they could have spent more time together and when she sent her off to Ponyville it was not without difficulty. She’d actually written the letter beforehand so she didn’t hesitate when the time came. Twilight wants to be close to you. As your mentor she wants to make a bond that will last.”

A bond that will last she almost couldn’t believe her ears. More and more things are seeming too good to be true. Maybe this is all a dream within a dream after all.

“Sorry we couldn’t do that practice date. Want to try again tomorrow night?”

“What? It’s morning already?”

“Yes, but should we meet up tomorrow night?”

“Sure, hold on, I have a…

...better idea” she looked around and found herself in a room made of glistening jewels. My room. How quickly did I come to think of this room as my own anyways. It’s Twilight’s house.

She considered this thought for a moment. If Twilight’s home has room for me, her heart must as well. How big is my room in her heart?

As Starlight headed down for breakfast she heard mumbling in the kitchen.
“...why would she think that? She should know...”

“Morning, Twilight” she said as she walked through the door. “What’re you reading?”

Twilight quickly shoved the book behind her. “Just a… uh, a… cookbook, yeah a cookbook, I was thinking of making something new.” She never was very good at lying. About on par with Applejack if not worse, and Applejack was the element of honesty.

“Sounds good, mind if I take a look? Maybe I could find something to make for lunch.” she said as she inched closer to Twilight, trying to look around her at the book.

Twilight backed up but quickly found a wall. Starlight seized the chance to grab the book in her telekinesis. As soon as she saw it she dropped it. It was her journal. “Twilight, why do you have this?”

“Well you see I went to wake you up and I saw that book on your shelf. I didn’t remember ever seeing a book like that and you told me you only had spell books so I thought it was one of those and…”

“How much did you read?”

“Only the most recent entry, well about two thirds of it. I’m so sorry Starlight, I just started reading and when I realized it was your journal I just couldn’t stop. I mean I want to help you with what you’re going through but in the month or so you’ve been here you didn’t tell me much and then after you told me how you felt I just couldn’t hold back. I needed to know more.”

Starlight sighed. Now I’ve gone and made her worry. Great job Starlight. No, I can’t keep doing this. Luna said I have to forgive myself but where do I start and how?

“Starlight, is everything alright?” the purple mare asked, a bit concerned over her marefriend’s silence.

I just have to focus on the situation at hand, I can deal with that later. “It’s okay Twilight, I’m okay, I just don’t want to”

“Worry me?” Twilight finished.

“You read more than two thirds, didn’t you?”

“No, but I’ve been there before. It’s a completely natural thing to feel.” she smiled, making Starlight somewhat less tense. “I may not know much about romantic relationships but one thing I’ve noticed in my study of friendship and in books is that it’s best for ponies to be honest with each other and work through problems together.”

“Are you sure you’re okay with that?”

“I’m more than okay with it, I insist upon it. And you don’t have to rely on me alone, we have six wonderful friends who are usually more than willing to help. Though we should probably give them the news before asking anypony about things involving our relationship.” Twilight said, looking somewhat embarrassed.

“So, um…”

“Yeah.”

“Should we?”

“I don’t know, maybe. Pinkie probably knows already, you know Pinkie. Maybe we should invite everypony over for lunch?”

“That sounds good. I guess? I don’t really know much about these things. Should we make a big deal about it? We could never top one of Pinkie’s parties but”

“I don’t think we need to make it anything that big, just lunch should be fine. Really it should be fine to just gather them together and tell them but I figure lunch is as good an excuse as any.”

“Yeah, speaking of, all this talk of food is making me hungry. What’s for breakfast?” Starlight glanced around the kitchen, looking for signs of a meal in progress. Finding none, she looked back to Twilight.

“Sorry, you got up not long after I went to wake you up and I was reading and well, long story short I haven’t made it yet. Spike was asleep last I saw him.” A few moments later Twilight’s head shot up. “That’s it! This is perfect!”

“What is it, Twilight?” Starlight wore a confused expression. She knew what Twilight was getting at but was all too happy to play along.

“We’ll make something together!”

Author's Note

As always, the characters and settings in this fic belong to Hasbro and Lauren Faust. I simply enjoy the opportunity to write about them. Also sorry for being so late to update, I have a million excuses but in the end it comes down to the fact that I got pre-publishing jitters and as a result only recently showed it to my proofreader and edited it again. Thanks to all who support me and constructive criticism and advice is welcome if you have any. It might be a little while before the next chapter as I feel like writing something else for a bit of a change of pace but hopefully it won't be as long a wait as this chapter.