What This Year's Hearth's Warming Serial Should Have Been

RAINB SPECTRUM STREAK: THE MISSION

Spectrum Streak was sitting in the personal lobby the Equestrian Bureau of Investigation (EBI for short) had given her for consistently being awesome. She was awaiting her next mission, and also thinking about the gifts that would be showered upon her this Hearth's Warming, which was coming up.

Then there was an announcement on the intercom thingies they had in every room. "Spectrum Streak, please report to the Boss' office. Spectrum Streak, please report to the Boss' office."

Spectrum got up and headed out and walked with loads of swag because she's awesome like that.

She got to the tall office doors and the bodyguard ponies stepped aside to let her in. "So, what seems to be the problem, boss?" she asked as she entered.

"Spectrum, we've got some serious business. Allow me to let you into this secret room," said the boss. "Please cover your eyes."

Spectrum did so. While her eyes were closed, the boss took down a picture on the wall to show another picture beneath it. He took that down and there was yet another picture, and he took that off to reveal a keypad. He typed in the passcode and the ceiling revealed a metal door.

"You may look now," he told Spectrum, who opened her eyes. "Right this way, Miss Streak." He pulled down the ladder from the ceiling and climbed up it before pulling the door open and entering, followed by Spectrum.

"None of our agents have ever been allowed inside before," stated Boss. "Anyway..." He picked up a remote, clicked a button, and a huge screen came down. He clicked another button and the screen turned on. It appeared to show some kind of sleigh used by foals in the snow, except this one was jet-powered and moving through the sky. A fatty tubby stout stallion was piloting it.

"He goes by the name Father Hellfire Swarming. This stallion," said the boss, "is a terrorist. He drops what are disguised as innocent presents down chimneys... and every home he's done that to has been obliterated in a horrifying explosion."

He looked gravely at Spectrum. "Spectrum, you're our best agent in the history of ever. I can trust you, right?"

Spectrum looked super-serious. "Boss, you have my word."

"Excellent," said the boss. "I have a partner for you on this mission." Out of the shadows stepped none other than... (insert drumroll) Daring Do!!

"Daring Do!" said Spectrum. "How are ya? You're awesome! I follow your Fetlockbook account!"

"I dealt with every single bad guy in the country, so I can take a break from adventuring," explained Daring.

"Don't fail us!" said the boss.

"We sure won't," said Spectrum. "C'mon, Daring. It's time to go..." She put on her boss shades. "...deliver justice."

Spectrum and Daring were flying in place at the level above the ground which FHS was estimated to fly at.

"See him yet?" asked Spectrum.

Just then, they heard a sound in the distance... it was the sound of rockets. They swiveled their heads around and saw none other than the sleigh headed right for them.

They flew out of its path. "On the count of three," said Spectrum. "One..."

The sleigh was at breakneck speed, and was nearly there.

"THREE!" Spectrum and Daring grabbed onto the side of the sleigh.

While they were on their journey, Daring's face started to wobble out of place with her skull. You know, because of how fast the sleigh was. The sound was blood-curdling.

"We're nearly there," Spectrum told her. Her face was fine because of all the implants she had had to have over the years after violent confrontations.

She looked out into the distance. "It's beginning to look a lot like Father Hellfire Swarming's lair."

The sleigh began to slow down as it approached the entrance - an alloy door comparable to what one would find at the EBI's base. FHS headed over and scanned some kind of card, causing the door to slide open, granting him access.

"Shoot! How're we gonna get in?" asked Daring.

"Maybe there's a fire exit round the back," suggested Spectrum.

She and Daring flew over the building and sure enough, there was a fire exit!

"Wow! Spectrum, you're a genius!" exclaimed Daring.

"Aren't I?" replied Spectrum.

And the two mares headed inside. Their mission had only just begun.

Inside, there were robots with green hats like elves stereotypically wore. Spectrum and Daring traveled alongside a conveyor belt. At the start, there were seemingly random metal parts. As the belt went further, robots assembled these parts together, then housed them in shells with the creepy grinning face of Father Hellfire Swarming on them. These were then put into colorful boxes, which had ribbons applied afterwards.

"This guy are sick," commented Daring, at which Spectrum had to nod.

Just then, a robot appeared right in front of them. "HALT! WHAT IS YOUR CLEARANCE? YOU SEEM UNFAMILIAR."

The robot then noticed something Spectrum had. "AN EBI BADGE! THESE PONIES ARE SPIES!"

"That stands for... Explosive Bombs," lied Spectrum.

"WHAT ABOUT THE 'I'?" questioned the robot.

"That's supposed to be an exclamation mark," Spectrum added.

"FAIR ENOUGH," said the robot, and went away.

"That was a close one. But it was okay thanks to your cunningness," said Daring.

"I know, right?" agreed Spectrum.

She headed over to the end of the conveyor belt, and Daring followed. Spectrum plucked a finished 'present'. "I need to inspect this," she announced.

The robots agreed with that. "VERY WELL. YOU ARE, AFTER ALL, AWESOME."

Spectrum smirked and turned back to Daring. "C'mon, partner."

After a long journey, they had reached what was the door to Father HS' main office. Spectrum knocked on the door, and then heard footsteps from behind it before it opened to reveal the same stallion who had been riding in the sleigh.

"Hi!" said Daring. "We're here to deliver a present! Merry Hearth's Warming!" She held up the present.

Father HS took it and inspected it.

"Now!" whispered Spectrum sharply, and grabbed Daring and headed towards the glass wall with the emergency exit door.

But then it all slammed shut, metal barriers appearing in front of them, separating them from the glass door.

Father HS chuckled devilishly. "You really thought you could fool me?!" He pulled a lever, and a metal door opened to reveal a huge, hulking metal suit of some kind. He hopped onto the ladder and climbed up, getting into the operator's seat.

"Where shall you run now, puny ponies?" he taunted, and laughed maniacally before he pushed a button and sent a laser beam right at them. Spectrum pushed Daring out of the way.

"Don't worry. I got it," said the EBI agent. She pulled out her trusty 9 million billion volt taser and fired a shock at the robot suit, causing it to short circuit immediately before collapsing to the ground with an almighty THUD. Father HS couldn't open the glass dome shield to get out.

"Now then," said Spectrum. "Eye for an eye and explosive device for an explosive device. Daring... let it blow."

Daring nodded and grabbed the present and chucked it right at the robot suit before instantly turning around and flying away, with Spectrum doing the same.

KA-BUCKING-BOOM

The base exploded, and Spectrum and Daring had gotten out in the nick of time. Well, almost; Spectrum had a singed tail. Which served to make her even more awesome.

"This truly is the most wonderful time of the year!" cried Daring.

When Spectrum and Daring got back, there was a huge ceremony for them to celebrate their victory. Spectrum drank about eight gallons of cider and the book Daring wrote out of the adventure sold 12 billion copies. And that, my friends, is the true meaning of Hearth's Warming.

TO BE CONTINUED...