Fallen Angels and Forsaken Sirens

by Glitch Hooves

Rating: teen
Tags: Crossover, Alternate Universe, Human, Comedy, Adventure, Equestria Girls
Length: 8554

Redemption is not given, it is earned. A batch of banished angels and powerless sirens doomed to the same fate are about to learn that lesson the hard way

Finding themselves backed into a corner in the form of lower-middle-class. The Dazzlings resort to something they would equate to shoving a brain-eating parasite into their ears.

Getting human roommates.

The idea, albeit not approved officially, was simple in standing.

They get human roommates to pay rent; they get more money in their pockets; they get to move out of this place and they get to start new lives under new names.

Turns out they might get a bit more than they bargained for when two… 'colorful' individuals take the spots of normal human beings. Now the Dazzlings have to share a roof with two humans named… Panty and Stocking Anarchy. But they might be here for much bigger reasons than finding a place to stay.

Nothing good can derive from this…

Nothing. Good.

Alternate Universe tag because Catholicism.

Cover art is something I whipped up on photoshop.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-02-24 14:38:55 UTC

The Road to Hell is Paved With Screwed Intentions (Prologue)

Panty and Stocking With The Dazzlings in:

The Road to Hell is Paved With Screwed Intentions

Adagio held the bridge of her nose between two fingers as she sat down down begrudgingly on a very uncomfortable red chair.. "So... your definition of a good plan was set to arrangements to get new roommates behind my back?" Adagio hissed. "Of all stupid, arbitrary things you could've done, why did it have to be this?"

"Well, we're a little strapped on cash, don't you think?" Aria replied irritably, having just awoken a few minutes after noon. She was eating a bowl of dry cereal.

"That may be the case, but you went ahead with your little plan without my say on it," Adagio retorted, her voice low and intimidating.

"Oh! So now I have to get your permission?" Aria reproached.

"That's not what I said!" Adagio seethed through gritted teeth.

"You sure? Cause it definitely sounds like it!"

"How do you know if these humans can even be trusted?!" Adagio snapped, slamming a hand against the desk.

Aria didn't flinch and continued to glare at Adagio for a second or two before she spoke."I talked with them." Aria replied plainly.

"In person?"

"Over the phone. They should've been here an hour ago now that I think about it."

"You gave them the go ahead and you didn't even meet them! What were you thinking?!" Adagio allowed her forehead to once again meet her palm.

"Relax! I checked up on them online," Aria defended.

"Cdibet! You of all people should know how easy it is to lie over a fake screen!" Adagio shouted, throwing her arms in the air and letting a piece of a forgotten language slip by.

"So what?! We'll be fine!"

"What if their insane and decide it would be a fun idea to cut our throats in our sleep!?"

"Then I'll sleep with one eye open. Happy now?!" Aria retorted, stabbing her spoon into the bowl and leaving it there as she looked back up.

Adagio shook her head and grumbled. She placed a hand around her forehead as she felt it throb subtly. "Of all the idiotic, asinine, and STUPID things you could've done..."

"Relax," Aria scooped up some name-brand cereal and popped it into her mouth. "Ish a ittle exta money," she chewed for bit before she swallowed the contents of her mouth. "How bad can it get? And besides, it's two humans versus three Sirens. Add insult to injury, it's three sirens with over a collective five thousand years of combat experience, I think we have the upper hand here," Aria assured.

"For your sake, you better be right," Adagio sighed.

"Since when have I been wrong?" Aria asked rhetorically, holding her arms out and giving sly grin.

"Ugh... Sonata what do you think?" Adagio groaned, turning her head and addressing her little sister in an exhausted tone.

"I think it'll help," she said from the next room over. "Aria's right, right?" she answered from the couch in the living room timidly. She was watching TV quietly before hand. "...Can you two stop fighting now?"

"We'll be good now, Nata, I promise," Aria said. "Won't we?" she turned to face Adagio with a challenging grin.

"Fine... but when this comes back to bite us in the ass, I'm holding you accountable," Adagio warned.

"This is the thanks I get for trying to save Christmas? I feel hurt," she mocked.

Adagio shook her head. "When are they getting here anyway?"

CRASH!!!

The door flew open with no warning, slamming against the wall with a loud thump, a few cracks began to form on the wall as the result. Sonata, being the closet to the door that opened without any indication, jumped upwards in a fright and was now hiding behind the couch, peering over the edge just slightly with wide, anxious eyes.

And keep in mind; the door was locked.

The sunlight was too bright to reveal whoever was just outside the door, only the shadows and the black facade of two humans could be seen. They stood apart a few feet and were giving an authoritative stance. After a few seconds of dramatic silence between the five, one of them stepped into the indoor light.

"WHAT'S UP MY BITCHES!!!" she shrieked inside creating an echo.

She had light peach skin with lemon-yellow hair that went down to her upper thighs. She was wearing a red dress that matched up with her blue eyes. On both of her hands were an assortment of golden wrist bracelets. She bore an immensely overconfident smile that drained when she saw the interior of the living room.

Organization was one of the Dazzlings strong-suits... or at least it used to be. Random questionable bottle were strewn about and a mess of garbage was overflowing from the trash bin. Let's just say their neighbors consider it an insult when they simply go outside.

"Fucking hell, and I thought my rooms were bad..." the blonde girl said.

"Sup?" Aria said plainly, putting two and two together fairly easily. She gave a tired wave after the initial scare of their front door bursting open subsided.

The new-girl was about to wave back... or maybe scratch herself... It was honestly hard to tell when a look of disappointment sprawled across her face.

"DAMMIT!" she suddenly shouted, kicking her foot against the floor in very apparent irritation.

Aria and Adagio didn't flinch while Sonata leaned backwards at the sudden outburst.

"You fucking tease! I thought you were a dude over the phone!" she complained, crossing her arms.

"Hell is that supposed to mean!?" Aria roared angrily, standing up and taking a step towards the door with her fists clenched.

"She's saying you sound like a man," a new voice answered, plain and uninterested. The second shadow walked in and revealed another girl.

She had pale white skin whose blue eyes matched with the other girls. Her hair had a dark purple exterior that circled around her back with a light pink interior, it reached down almost all the way to the floor, save good couple of inches. She was wearing a dark lolita styled dress with stockings that went up to her thighs. She was also wearing a large blue bow behind her head and was carrying a plush cat divided into two sides. One side consisted of purple fur and the other was a skeleton.

She honestly looked like Sonata's closet came to life.

Adagio was a good judge of character, she had to be, and so far, she really didn't like what she was seeing from them. Spanning from their facial expression, tone of voice, and body language. She knew they didn't want a place to stay, they wanted their place to keep. Lord knows it'd be like living with two more Aria's, and that's the last thing she needs.

As much as she hates to admit it; Aria was right. They needed the money and these two can only help in that department. Then again, Adagio was nothing if not patient. She can survive a few months with these humans, and once they have a good enough fallback again, she'll kick them to the curb, and they can leave this god-forsaken town. For now... lie and wait.

"So..." she said, clasping her hands together. "I believe introductions are in order," she continued, slowly rising from her seat. She approached the two and sashayed her hips to give herself an aura of authority. She held a hand out and offered a pleasant smile that read two emotions, 'good evening,' and 'don't you dare fuck with me.' An easy feat on her part with years of practice. "My name is Adagio Dazzle, and you are?" she turned to the side to show off the living room and allow them to enter.

Aria still was still standing by her seat, her fists were clenched and her eyes were furrowed in anger, fixated on the blonde haired girl.

Sonata was still peering over the couch and staring at the both of them with narrowed and suspicious eyes.

The new arrivals were staring at Adagio with confused and bewildered expressions.

A brief awkward pause passed by before the blonde one spoke out, quickly followed by the goth.

"Aw shit, we went to a brothel!"

"Long shot, I know, but do you have any rope by any chance?"

Adagio had slowly turned her head back to Aria where the pleasant smile was replaced with the most unamused glare in history, and she slowly shook her head while muttering the words. "You did this..."

From Drop outs to Drop Ins (Pilot... I Guess?)

Panty and Stocking With The Dazzlings in:

Drop Outs and Drop Ins

Sunset Shimmer had a good school year through and through if she could say so herself. Sure, there were very high chances every semester of... cross-dimensional world domination...

But other than that, it was a fairly standard year as high schools go. At the moment, she was heading to lunch, but something off-putting was in the atmosphere. There was no way she could put her finger on it, really. It was like there was just a new air to it that she couldn't explain with normal words. Perhaps it was that she was now putting more thought into the fact that the school year was almost over, and that previously trying to take over the school didn't really give her a great chance of graduating her senior year.

Or maybe something else entirely.

After taking another few steps, she realized something. It was quiet, normally during lunch, the halls were filled so much with echoing chatter that you couldn't even perceive a rational thought, now however, she really couldn't hear anything except hushed whispers coming from the lunch room. She entered in a panic, and slightly worried that an alien race may have invaded and are now attempting to abduct the student body.

A little far-fetched, but still entirely plausible in this day and age.

The doors were always open to allow entry, and once through, she saw a strange sight to be sure. Almost every single student in the school was lathered in one side of the cafeteria, somehow all able to fit in the ten or so tables on one side, completely avoiding the other half. They were even talking with actual indoor speaking voices instead of yelling at the top of their lungs, trying to be heard in the normally raucous lunch period.

One side belonged to the students, and the other belonged to a face she thought she'd never see again.

Adagio Dazzle.

She was sitting by herself on the table on the farthest side of the room. Her chin was resting on her hand and she looked to be... sleeping?

Shimmer turned her head to the right side of the cafeteria where she could see her friends were waving her over, some more panicked than others.

Deciding to go against them, she instead walked to the empty side of the lunchroom, and took a seat beside the lone siren. If she's here, this might be her only chance to actually settle things.

Wait? Weren't there three of them?

Pulling up a chair, she accidentally made a screeching noise against the floor that seemed to echo across the room. The siren opened her eyes just slightly to address the noise, when she saw Sunset Shimmer, she shook her head slightly, and closed her eyes right back down again, making an effort to appear annoyed.

Taking this as a good sign, Shimmer sat down beside her.

The entire lunchroom was stunned even more silent than it already was.

Adagio took in a large intake of breath, and gave an annoyed sigh. She stood up without warning, pushing back her chair with another screech. She didn't say a thing, she just got up and walked away; heading for another empty table on her side of the cafeteria. Her footsteps creating a reverberating echo that grasped the students' attention. She pulled out a new chair on the farthest side of the room and sat down quietly.

She rested her head against her arms and closed her eyes again. Almost blissfully.

Her nostrils flared and she started to grind her teeth when she heard a chair across from her pull up and someone take a seat in it. She could place actual money on who it was. She even felt a few nerves snap when she heard their voice.

"Uh...? Hi?"

"What?" Adagio growled in the lowest and most intimidating tone she could muster in her sleep deprived state.

"Nothing much, just, uh...?" she put hand behind her head in embarrassment. "How have you been?" she asked sheepishly.

"Is that a joke?" Adagio asked looking up with an offended look and leaning forward in an act of intimidation. "Ha. Ha; that what you wanted? A little chuckle? Ha. Ha..."

"What? No! It's just that... it's been quite a while since we last met and, I was thinking maybe we could settle things you know? And maybe-"

"Don't you dare! Finish that sentence with, 'become friends,'" Adagio warned with a raised finger. Her voice was still low, but it was less intimidating and seemed to be more exhausted. As if she could drift off to sleep in a seconds notice.

"... Acquaintances?" Sunset asked with an uncomfortable smile and a shrug.

Adagio was about to protest when she felt a yawn coming in. Her mouth enlarged and she let out a large breath of air. She saw Shimmer flinch slightly as well as the rest of the student body. As funny as that was to her, she was too exhausted to muster an actual chuckle. "I'm too old for this..." she mumbled; setting her head back down on the table.

"Are you alright?" she asked.

"Why do you care?" Adagio reproached, coming out of another yawn. "You vanquished the evil and left them to drown, and now you have minstrel songs written about you; why bother practicing what you preach?"

"It's not like-"

"TheRe oNCe waS a BRavE laSs naMeD ShImMer! WITh a Fi-fI FIddLe dEe, DEe! She fACeD wITh The tERriBle tRIo, wHilE hER friENdS juST waNTeD to PEe!" Adagio, 'sang,' interrupting her and forcing everyone to cover their ears with their hands. Her singing voice was grating and hard to listen too. It was like a combination of unpleasant sounds; from scratching a fork against a plate, to a suffering animal; begging for its misery to be over. She kept this strange and unsettling smile through the song as she looked Shimmer right in the eyes.

"I promise you, it's not like that at all," Sunset assured.

"Don't care. I'm not here for you or your precious school, anyway. I just want to be left alone," she said, closing her eyes once more.

"What? Why?"

Adagio gave another sigh and looked back up. "... You know what? Fine. Since you feel so obligated to humiliate me farther, I'll amuse your feigned interest," she said, planting both hands on the table. "Well, after the little, 'incident.'" She used a free arm to make air quotes. "We were thrown into a dog-eat-dog world. Thanks for that..."

"Look, I'm really-"

"No. You're not. Now, as I was saying before I was so RUDELY interrupted! We needed a way to get some extra money to support ourselves, we had a fallback, but almost all of it was spent trying to keep us afloat during that first month..." She seemed to trail off. "Jesus, that first month was horrid... My sister suggested we get roommates to pay rent, much to my protest."

The other students had begun to relax and once a small group had started to talk, the rest joined in and the normal cafeteria humdrum began as normal. The one table with the two occupants remained theirs as some onlookers continued to listen in.

"I really don't know where to begin with them..." Adagio groaned; forcing her head on her palms.

"Why don't you start with their names?" Sunset suggested with a shrug.

"Oh boy. Not even I believed it the first time I heard them..." she muttered with a smile of disbelief.

"Well, who are they?" she pressed.

"... Their names are... get this: Panty and Stocking Anarchy," she said, whilst shaking her head.

"Well, that's definitely... unique."

"Want to know the funniest part?" Adagio asked.

"Yeah, sure?"

"Fifty percent of the time; Panty hardly wears panties..."

Sunset raised a curious brow. "What's that me-"

"You're doing it wrong..."

"Huh?"

Adagio raised her eyebrow in response, her second brow didn't move even one millimeter. "You've got to move one without raising the other in the slightest bit, otherwise your face looks unsymmetrical," she explained. "It's a lot more official, and arguably much sexier."

"Wait? Seriously?" she turned her head to her friends table. "They always said I got it right!"

"Oh, deary," Adagio began with an amused expression, while slowly shaking her head. "If it makes you feel any better, I wouldn't take you seriously even if you did do it right."

"Um... anyway! Tell me more about these two," Sunset inquired.

"Come to our home at any given time, I promise, you will find some half naked man inside of Panty's room."

"Why's that?" she asked, despite the fact she could probably guess the answer.

"Panty's a nympho," she answered plainly, closing her eyes out of disappointment rather than exhaustion this time.

"Oh..."

"Honestly, I can't complain," Adagio said. "I've already been through that phase of insecurity myself."

"What's that supposed to me- you know what? Never mind that. And Stocking?"

"She's a lot tamer, she's a quiet girl... still a little sarcastic brat if you so much as breathe in her general direction," Adagio said. "Still; just don't press her buttons, she stays in her room, I can respect that life-style, but she doesn't do much else besides eat pure sugary foods and whine when it's all gone." Adagio got a bit of a sour expression as if she remembered something. "Panty's just always a brat... she feels so entitled to everything and acts as if everyone is below her; her little shtick gets real annoying real quick," she never made eye contact with Shimmer when she spoke. She was constantly looking elsewhere and waving her hands around as if she were talking to someone else.

"Well... have you gotten along with them? I mean, you guys probably have some similarities," Sunset suggested.

"Are you trying to say something?!" Adagio immediately locked eyes and stood upright without warning, forcing the entire cafeteria to silence and turn heads. She had her teeth bared and her eyes were absolutely furious. Adding to the deranged look were the bags under her eyes.

"Nothing!" Shimmer held up her hands in defense. "I just mean that... you know? Everyone in the house has a sister, right? Maybe you guys walked in the same shoes and all that, right?"

Adagio slowly sat back down, a steely gaze plastered like metal. "You would think, but we mostly fight nowadays..." her eyes were fixated on Shimmer, and her eyes never removed that spiteful flare. "I almost always wake up to screaming and arguing now..." she said as if remembering something.

~~~~

GONG!! GONG!! GONG!!

Adagio's eyes suddenly shot open when the sounds of church bells rang throughout Canterlot. She rose up from her bed begrudgingly; wiping hers eyes and groaning.

"Since when were their bloody church bells?! Since when was there a church!?" she complained. She memorized this town front and back and never before did she remember a church being part of it.

She could hear a small droning noise below her that echoed up the stairs. She already knew what it was; those four idiots were arguing again. No doubt those two, 'Angels,' decided they were entitled to the television remote again.

She'd had enough of this by now. With a deep sigh, Adagio got up out of bed, grabbed a towel, and showered. She sighed again when she turned off the faucet and still heard their bickering. She tossed a few empty shampoo and conditioner bottles into the trash when she left. But now there was now a strange smell in the air when she left, something similar to vanilla extract except... faint. She excused it as Sonata experimenting with some ingredients for her "Mystery Pancakes."

She changed into a small vest and jeans that hugged her outline and went downstairs. Time to relive hell she thought... Adagio groaned as she heard Sonata shouting her lungs off at Stocking.

"And for the last time! Oh hey, Dagi." Sonata interrupted herself and waved to Adagio with a smile. Aria and Panty were eating breakfast in the kitchen and simultaneously growling at each other through full mouths. Sonata immediately turned back to Stocking with a deep scowl. "And for the last time! The Roommate Agreement says I get the TV between nine A.M and nine P.M on Wednesdays!"

"And for the last time, T.S! I don't give a goddamned crap about, 'Supernova!'" Stocking shouted back, holding the television remote above her head and just slightly out of Sonata's reach as she tried to peacefully watch her shows.

"You take that back!" Sonata growled. "Dagi! Help!" she whined.

"Stocking, you know the rules!" Adagio seethed.

"And so do I! Fine, whatever!" she groaned before tossing the remote to Sonata. "Happy now?" she said as she got up and headed for her room up the steps.

"Very..." Adagio mumbled before heading through the door.

"Yaay!" Sonata cheered before switching the channel to a strange looking anime she protects by calling it a 'dark deco art style.' "Wait? Where you going, Dagi?" Sonata asked.

"Somewhere quiet... I don't want to be bothered right now," she answered. "Don't. Follow me."

~~~~

"So... you came here?" Sunset asked skeptically, tapping a finger on the table.

"They know all my other spots," Adagio answered. "This is the only place I'm sure they wouldn't go looking... I hope at least."

"So...? Does that mean you're going to start coming here on a regular basis now just so you can to get away from them?" Sunset asked.

"I... suppose that's a possibility..." she said this as if the full weight of the situation just hit her and she wanted nothing more than to give up.

"Wait, but you have a job, right?" she asked.

"That's the other thing, I can't kick em' out cause they pay their rent on time, and the strangest part is that they pay DOUBLE what they need too!" Adagio explained. "I can skip a few days here and there, change up my schedule, whatever. But what I don't understand is: Where do people like that get that kind of money!? I swear their mocking me... Even then, we were actually able to move to a much bigger place now."

"Well, that sounds nice..." Sunset replied with a friendly smile.

"I guess..." Adagio shook her head idyllically "We even had to write out a roommate agreement to keep the police from getting involved in our more... domestic situations," Adagio recalled with a brief chuckle.

"You mentioned that, how's it work?"

"Easy; they follow the rules, they don't get kicked out," Adagio answered, her gaze relaxed and she started to let her eyes wander again. "I made two rules in particular just to show that no matter what: those two are beneath me."

"This ought to be good," Shimmer said, leaning in slightly.

"For Panty: No more than two men inside the house at all times."

"Two?"

"Anymore than that and she'll try and find a way to sneak em' in. If she succeeds there, she'll start to get ideas, and that right there is the last thing I need from her" Adagio explained. "You should've seen her room BEFORE I made that rule. I swear I felt like I was going to develop chest hair from the smell of testosterone alone!"

"Did not need to know that..." Sunset said, trying her hardest to shake off that mental image.

"Stocking... believe or not, she resists this rule the most out of those two. And it's so simple, really: No more than one-hundred dollars worth of sweets in the house at all times.

"You monster!" Shimmer said jovially.

"I'm a cruel mistress, I know," Adagio said; waving her hand as if she were disregarding a compliment. "It's funny how far she goes to break this one. Whenever she leaves the house unattended by me or my sisters, we have to pat her down when she gets back... sometimes we have to be a little more... thorough," she went quiet as if lost in thought. "I don't know what disgusts me more. The fact we have to go that far, or the fact that I think she enjoys it..."

There was a brief silence between the two before they both shivered with disgust

"So, what are you going to do now?" Shimmer asked.

"I don’t know; attend class like a regular school girl, probably... Might even join the swim-team," she said as she started to stifle another yawn.

"I thought that they had to cut their hair to... uh...?" Adagio was giving Shimmer that stare again.

"If they know what's good for them, they'll know to let me keep this glorious mane," she said with a glower, brushing a hand through her hair.

"But won't it slow you down? Hair absorbs water and all that."

"Sunny, Sunny, Sunny." Adagio slowly shook her head again with that same amused smile. "Me and my sisters are the embodiment of the perfect human. Anything you can do, we can do ten times better, and that's not an opinion, but an indisputable fact," she elucidated confidently. "I can keep this." She brushed a hand through her hair again. "And still set Olympic records."

"Alright, alright," Sunset said pushing down the thought of making a wise-crack. "So... where do you think the other four are right now?"

"Don't know, don't care. As long as they don't burn down the house while I'm gone, I couldn't care less what's going on back home."  Adagio didn't mention it, but that smell of vanilla extract was returning very quickly and it was becoming even stronger than earlier that morning.

There was a loud crashing noise as something big broke through the main entrance of the school, echoing across the hallway, once more silencing the students.

Speak of the devil and he shall appear, is that how the saying goes?

"Oh no!" Adagio muttered fearfully, dropping her head on the table while her hands dropped in utter defeat.

"Wait, that's not them, is it?!" Sunset asked with a tone of panic.

"They're like cancer! No matter how hard you try to get rid of them, they keep coming back!"

They could hear a loud as life car engine in the hall when something entered the cafeteria with about as much grace as a swan...

Crashing a Boeing-777.

It derailed the double doors, sending them spiraling through the cafeteria and into the windows on the other side with a loud shatter and the sprinkling of broken glass. Adagio seemed unfazed, keeping that same look of dread as all the students ducked under the tables, screaming for their lives. What had broken through into the school without warning or invitation was a large pink hummer with the top removed, and inside of it were four girls. One with dark purple hair who looked eerily similar to Twilight was driving the thing while the other three were standing on the back seats.

Standing...

One of them had yellow hair who suddenly bellowed to the crowd of terrified students while the other two beside her, who Shimmer immediately identified as Adagio's two sisters, cheered with what had to be drunken laughter.

"Hello my children-bitches!!!" the blond haired one shouted.

Adagio got up suddenly and began to walk off in defeat. No direction in mind, she just started walking. "Whelp, I'm leaving," she announced; there was no emotion behind her voice.

"Wait, where you going?" Sunset protested.

"What's it look like? I'm gonna go commit seppuku in the bathroom."

Adagio was walking towards the exit when the car made a sudden and large turn and headed straight for her. Literal, STRAIGHT. FOR. HER! It was about to turn her into paste when it turned at a very slight angle and the side of the vehicle was a mere inch away from her. A light peach hand reached out and grabbed her by the scalp, pulling her into the back seat without any hesitation. She was practically kicking and screaming the entire way as the car turned back and disappeared into the hallways, but not before creating a second large hole at the side of where the double doors used to be.

The entire cafeteria was, for what seemed to be the third time that day, stunned silent.

See-Through, the Anarchy sisters personal vehicle, was mowing through the halls, derailing any and all lockers, water fountains, and unlucky janitors that stood in its path. Adagio was clutching her chest and hyperventilating after just nearly getting ran over. She stared at the three who picked her up, Stocking was focusing driving the damn vehicle so killing her might fall short as a plan.

"What the hell is wrong with you people?!" she shrieked as pieces of hallway continued to fly overhead. "Were you trying to give me a fucking heart attack!!"

"Just read this, ya dip!" Panty shouted holding a piece of paper. It was a thin slip that had one word written on it.

'Lunch'

Adagio only stared at it then back at Panty in utter disbelief. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!" she said loudly to be overheard in the mess of destruction and students who were left in the halls. "Where'd you get that anyway?!"

Below her seat, a strange looking green thing popped out with a strange smile and eyes fixated on Adagio.

"ITS A RAT! KILL IT! KILL IT!" Adagio shrieked. She wrapped her hand around its face in a panic. Her fingers surprisingly dug in as if this creature's skull were made of jelly, smushing it's head as it squeezed through the gaps between her fingers. She instinctively tossed her hand out of the car and let go, watching as the strange rat-dog got sucked into the tires below and turned into a mess of purple road kill behind them as they sped along.

Panty was laughing her skinny ass off as Adagio tried to regain herself. That's when she remembered about her partners in crime. She turned to her sisters with an enraged expression.

"What the hell are you two doing here anyway!? How'd you find me!? WHY'D YOU FIND ME!?"

"They said we'd have a little fun today!" Sonata purred with a soft, yet still loud enough voice to be heard over the roaring engines.

Aria was alongside her with a drunken smile. "We shmelled shomething really good and they shaid we were gonna have shome fun!" Aria cheered. She started waving her arms about as if she were at a rave. "Lesh go!!"

"I'm just gonna ignore that..." Adagio muttered. It's not even noon and they've already been drinking. "Still! Why here?!"

"Cause why the fuck not, that's why!" Panty yelled.

"Cause we're gonna get arrested on gratuitous amounts of charges!" Adagio protested.

"Ahh, we're fucking Angels, we don't gotta worry bout' that shit," Panty assured.

"Will you shut the hell up about this whole, 'Angel,' crap!" Adagio snapped, putting a finger on Panty's chest. "All you do is take from us and be a fucking nuisance! That's all you are, and that's all you ever will be! Bitches!"

"What are you trying to say, Flat Lands?"  Panty goaded, slapping Adagio's hand away from her and turning into a blacker look.

"The fuck you just call me!?" Adagio's eyes were practically burning while Aria and Sonata had a hand to their mouths going. "Ohhhhhh!!"

"What? You got jizz in your ears... Flat... Lands?" she was smiling!

"YOU'RE FUCKING DEAD, SLUT!" Adagio suddenly lunged forward from her seat, her fingers curled forward and ready to claw out Panty's eyes.

"BRING IT, YOU TRAP!" Panty shrieked, lunging forward as well.

"Will you two shut the fuck up! I'm trying to drive here!," Stocking butted from the driver’s seat.

"Not until this bitch is a mount on my wall!" Adagio hollered, latching a hand on Panty's ear as she started to pull viciously.

"Ahh! Let go! That's sensitive!" Panty moaned.

See-Through was still roaming the hallways, the car was silent, but the student’s screams of terror were echoing throughout.

Adagio was sitting on the passenger seat with a scratched up cheek and an injured left "breast" from an elbow strike.

Panty had a black eye and somehow a cut on her inner thigh from a cheap shot by Adagio who missed her mark.

Due to mysterious means, that green rat thing managed to get back on the car and was sleeping on the hood while countless pieces of stone and bricks hit its head over and over again. Stocking appeared to be patrolling the halls, looking for... something.

Sonata was giggling on Aria's shoulder while Aria herself was asleep. "Hey! S-Stocking! Didn't you say something about g-hosts?" she asked with a goofy smile

"Hell does that mean?" Adagio asked with an annoyed voice. She hadn't realized it until then, but, that smell from earlier this morning. During her fight with Panty, it seemed to go away, but now it came back now that she calmed down. It was stronger and it smelled even better; the taste it left in her mouth was familiar. Adagio's eyes lidded for a moment until she shook herself awake.

"Well, if you listen to the times when Panty doesn't have dick in her mouth, she told you that we have to find and kill a punk-ass ghost," Stocking answered

Adagio scoffed. She wasn't sure at whether it was at what Stocking just said or at the mention of Panty. "Course someone like Panty only knows quantity over quality... I bet she doesn't even know how to really pleasure a man," Adagio mocked.

"Hey! Are you dissing my blowjob skills, bitch!?" Panty exclaimed. "I'll have you know, I ranked sixty-ninth in the underground!"

"Only sixty-ninth?" Adagio asked with a sly smile. She shook her head, "Just proving my point."

"GRAAAAGH!!" Panty jumped out of her backseat and lunged for Adagio again, aiming to grab a fistful of that parasite she calls hair.

Suddenly, the brakes on the car slammed down, causing it to suddenly fly up, the front wheels as its axis; keeping it glued to the ground. Anything behind it lifting into the air, and Panty was sent flying down the hall while her momentum continued, her fingers slipping right by Adagio's hair by only centimeters.

"Oh, Goddamiiiiit!" her voice echoed as she careened down the hall, stopping with an inevitable SLAM! As she crashed into some lockers that weren't somehow destroyed.

Adagio was laughing herself into coma while Sonata had fallen asleep as well. Stocking was staring down the intersecting hallway with a disinterested stare.

"Bitch! Da fuck!" Panty called, walking back towards See-Through while holding her shoulder in place.

"Think that's him?" Stocking asked, pointing down the hall.

Adagio turned her head to see what caught their interest and... There really was no way to sugarcoat this. The hallway was filled with students who were passed out against the walls, their mouths dripping with some sort of pink sludge. There was a boy who was closest to the quintet being lifted off the ground by the shirt collar. He was held up by a strange creature that was humanoid in appearance but at least twice the size of an average person. It had several large and thick tubes coming out of its back and connecting to other parts of its body. It looked like it was bloated with the oozing pink slime. It was also wearing a hairnet. Its... skin was made of some strange material that had the consistency of molting black lava with yellow, uneven cracks coursing around its body.

It was screaming something at the boy; they were too far away to make it out clearly, but they definitely heard something along the lines of "You ungrateful little shit!" before one of the tubes dislodged from its back and began to move around like a snake. It stood a few inches from the boy’s face before rearing back and forcing its way into his mouth. It began to pour that sludge down his windpipe as his eyes rolled behind his head. The amalgamation let him go and he slumped against the wall, his mouth overflowing with the tar-like substance.

Panty and Stocking just gave a passing look to each other before turning back to the hall.

Adagio stared in utter disgust while her sisters slept in the back seat. "The hell is that thing?"

"What? You ain't ever seen a ghost before, Trap?" Panty asked with a teasing flare.

"Ghosts, huh? Can't that's the strangest thing I've seen in my entire life..."

"Well, what does that honor go to?" Stocking asked, watching as the ghost continued its rampage, seemingly oblivious to its watchers.

"You ever see a mono-ball?"

"The fuck!?"

"It's as every bit as disgusting as it sounds..." Adagio mumbled shamelessly.

"Alright, thanks for the story time. Hey, Panty, we gonna kill this fucker or what?"

"You read my mind!"

Stocking slowly got out of the car, walking stoically at the ghost who appeared to have now just noticed the pink hummer in the other end of hall. Panty was at her side, and they appeared to be walking at the same pace with no hesitation.

A curious smile began to creep on Adagio's face as she leaned forward, almost as if she were at a movie theater.

'Now how exactly will you do that?' she wondered.

Adagio, a being born with over three-thousand years of life experience between two different worlds and one worlds variant of hell, was a good judge of character. She had to be in order to survive.

What she was looking at wasn't bold stupidity, or blinding confidence, as much as she wanted to say it was given who she was watching; this here though. This was something else entirely. Something very familiar to her, not too different from the rehearsals her and her sisters would practice.

This was synchronization.

Her curiosity only grew, and that smile of realization was near enough to split open her skull.

The two sisters approached the ghost together, and aligned with practiced elegance.

Or about as elegant as a glutton and a slut can get.

"Aren't you at all bothered by this scene?" a voice asked, seemingly from Adagio's left.

Adagio's smile immediately dissipated. She didn't even turn her head when she spoke. "Shouldn't you be in class, girl?" she said in an intimidating manner.

"School got let out," they said.

"On what occasion?" her eyes didn't leave the scene in front of her.

"On the account of five maniacs driving around in a pink hummer posing a serious health-risk to the student body..."

"That'll do it..." Adagio murmured.

The two watched as Panty and Stocking approached this being as it seemed to be preparing to fight them, more tubes from its back dislodging and being pointed right at them.

"I have to help them!" the voice said.

"Wait!" Adagio exclaimed holding a hand out. "Let's just see what happens..."

"Are you crazy?" they said. "They'll get slaughtered!"

"Then go on ahead," Adagio said in an almost daring tone. "I can't stop you, now can I?" she said turning her head to address Sunset. She stared at her with a stone-like expression.

Sunset looked back down the hall quickly before turning back to Adagio. "Are you gonna be alright?" she asked.

"Why do you care?" she hissed, turning back to the spectacle as the Anarchy sisters were now sharing insults with the ghost.

"I told you, I want to-"

"We'll be fine; now: run along, girl," Adagio said listlessly, flicking her hand in a shooing motion.

Sunset gave a brief sigh before running in the opposite direction.

'You better know what you're doing...' Adagio thought to herself.

Then she raised a brow. She was expecting them to honestly try something else other than... proceed to remove their undergarments.

Then; her eyes began squinting as a bright light started to fill the hallway, seemingly coming from those two. It didn't feel like light, however. It felt like a presence. Something powerful and holy.

Her wild smile returned as her vision was obscured.

"I guess I owe those two an apology," she muttered.

She shielded her eyes as the light became purely white and the two began... chanting? This was definitely an interesting turn of events.

"Oh, pitiful shadow lost in the darkness; oh, evil spirit born of those drifting between heaven and earth; may the thunderous power from the garments of these holy, delicate maidens strike down upon you with great vengeance and furious anger. Shattering your loathsome impurity and returning you to whence you came!"

The lights simmered down, and Adagio slowly turned her head back towards the scene.

"fryd dra ramm...?"

They were standing in front of the ghost still, but something had changed from this scene. Stocking was missing her stockings and was now holding two twin swords, similar to katanas, and panty was holding what looked like a pistol in her hand, both out of seemingly nowhere. Their weapons were glowing with a blue, almost holy light.

"Hmmm?" Adagio leaned forward, trying to catch any details she may have missed. "Curious and curiouser..." A new type of magic... one even she wasn't aware of. But by the looks alone, it appeared to be a more... wholesome variant of dark magic. One she herself was... customly attuned too.

It felt pure.

The ghost appeared to realize its only two options and picked the more foolish answer.

Fight.

It immediately sprinted for them, arms outstretched and shooting that pink gunk like a hose at full blast.

Those two jumped out the way almost effortlessly as the gunk sped past the spot they were once in and was now continuing behind them. At the cost of missing its initial targets, it was now heading for a new set of targets.

See-Through and her occupants.

"Well... shit!" Adagio exclaimed. Reaching behind her, she grabbed her sisters by the collar on their clothes and ducked down with them. She could hear an audible THUNK as their heads hit the back seat.

Still, though? Probably more preferable than ingesting whatever just slammed against the lockers behind them.

But even despite that, those two were still out cold.

Adagio let them lay down uncomfortably on the floor of the hummer as she sat up. She turned back to the scene at hand and saw her roommates were in the air at an arc. They seemed to be descending upon the ghost quickly. It was panicking, shooting out that sludge in quick bursts as it backed away down the hall as fast as its stumpy legs could force it. The Anarchy sisters were seemingly mocking the ghost, waiting at the last second to dodge; either by simply jumping, or running against the lockers before coming down to the hall. The sludge shot itself at them incredibly fast, but they were a lot quicker than it, getting away with general ease as it splashed harmlessly against the ceiling.

The hallways soon became covered in the stuff as the smell of vanilla extract filled Adagio's nostrils, it was overwhelming. But it wasn't coming from the sludge, it seemed to be coming from something else. She began to get woozy and her vision blurred as she lost sight of them when they turned the corner into the next hall... why was it so strong?

Shaking herself awake, she vaulted over the doors and unto the sticky pink hall.

"You're not... losing me... that easily!" she mumbled tiredly as her feet smacked against the slop. She passed by the other students who appeared to be gurgling on whatever this was that adorned the walls. Honestly? She could care less about their wellbeing and simply passed by.

Not even worthy of a passing glance

She had a natural athletic build, and with over three thousand years to get in top physical form, she managed to catch up fairly easily even with her senses slowly numbing, but it grew harder to lift her legs up again after bringing them down. Soon enough, she slowed to a messy stumble as her legs turned to lead. The pink slop her feet were slapping against, whatever it was, wasn't all that slippery, it felt more like... liquid rubber. When she turned the hall, nearly slamming herself into the adjacent wall. she noticed that all the lights were apparently dimmed. None of the light fixtures in this particular hall were broken, it was just... naturally dark in this really specific hall for whatever reason. Like, what was the purpose of this hall? All the classes were away from it and no students came here regularly, what was the purpose of it being here? Mood lighting?

She could see the ghost move backwards as it tried to get into the smallest corner it could fit into. It was a lot skinnier than before Adagio last saw of it as the same pink slop oozed from the ceilings. The stench was intoxicating, and her nose felt as if it were in paradise.  Her muscles relaxed and she felt... weaker. She saw the ghost raise an arm in attempt to fire again, but nothing came out. It was wall dried up.

Her eyelids started to get heavy as she thought she saw a yellow and purple blur descend upon the ghost.

Adagio felt light-headed, her legs grew wobbly and she started to stumble forward. She lost her balance. She swore she could hear loud shots and the thin slashes of... something cutting through something as her eyes closed and she fell forward.

GONG!! GONG!! GONG!!

Adagio woke up to the sound of a rumbling car-engine. She was bobbing up and down slightly, and her eyes were just barely arising. The darkness started out as a somewhat black blur before turning into a series of bright lights that irritated her eyes. She groaned in her seat, and she could feel some sort of weight leaning against both her sides. It was pressing down and aching her shoulders, she kept telling herself that if it was heavy enough to cause pain, she should probably check it out. Very slowly she opened her eyes fully, the lights from other cars and night time advertisements were burning her retinas, an ungodly beam that threatened to melt her brain.

This was a main issue in upper Canterlot. Then she realized just where exactly she was. She was inside See-Through, and last she recalled, she passed out in the middle of a hallways filled to the brim with some very... questionable material. Opening her eyes wider, she looked around and saw that she was drenched in that pink... whatever in the hell it was, and it had dried onto her clothes. She grumbled to herself and prayed that this stuff doesn't stain, she turned her head and saw that Sonata and Aria were leaning against her, still passed out.

That smell from before... it was gone.

"Hey! Look whose up!" she heard a voice that could easily be compared to scratching a fork against a plate coming in front of her,

A head popped from the front seat facing her and Panty flashed her a smile that Adagio would have happily torn from her face with her fingernails.

If it weren't for the fact she felt like she had just run a marathon without making a single rest stop. Or the fact her muscles felt as if she were suffering from rigor mortis. Or the fact her head was throbbing with the same intensity as a machine gun on full-auto. Or the fact, eh, you get the picture.

"What's wrong, buttercup? Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?" she mocked.

"Go... fuck yourself..." Adagio groaned from her seat. But it came out more as a strange gurgle.

"What's that? Oh, I'm sorry, I don't speak fucking garble bleghs," she continued to mock.

Clearing her throat, she found that it hurt quite a bit to do even that. She found her voice, but it was still dry from dehydration. "What... happened?" she asked hoarsely

"Well, with no help from your skank-ass, we killed that fucker and got these beauties!" she flashed her fist from behind her and between her knuckles were three circular objects. They were large enough to have the appearance of dollar-coins but appeared to be made of pure gold and had an H inscribed on them with wings on the sides.

"What are... those?" Adagio asked, slowly regaining her herself from what seemed like the hangover to end all hangovers. She shook herself awake and had just noticed that the reason the lights were so bright.

It was nighttime.

"What happened while I was out?" she asked.

"Well, after we dragged your sorry ass back into See-Through," she heard Stocking begin from the driver seat.

"We decided to have a night out! First ghost kill, hell the fuck yes," Panty finished, raising her arms outside the vehicle in celebration.

And then immediately retracting them back inside when a stop sign nearly took them arm off.

"And you didn't bother to wake me up?" Adagio asked with an exhausted chuckle.

"And miss out on an actual good time? Hell-fuck to the no!" Panty hollered.

"I'm not judging," Adagio had this unnatural tone that sounded... motherly. "For once; I'll make an exception from the Roommate Agreement," Adagio said with a growing smile.

"Wait, really?" Panty's face took on a genuinely confused expression. Then she drew her gun out and pointed it at Adagio before she could even blink. Adagio's noticed a small red symbol that resembled a ribbon just slightly above the barrel, even despite this, her smile was kept on.  "Okay! Who the fuck are you and what did you do to Trap?!" Panty demanded

Adagio chuckled slightly. "It's still me," she assured.  "I'll let page eleven, paragraph seven, sentence three slide... on one condition."

Panty lowered her gun, but only the slightest bit. "And what's that, Trap?"

Adagio looked up with her wide smile. "Tell me more about this... angel magic."

Panty holstered her gun... by turning them back into panties and putting them back on. She then reared her head back in either disgust or terror. "Alright fine! Just stop with that creepy-ass face you're making."

"What face?" Adagio asked. She was still smiling, but it was more intentional now and out of spite.

"That creepy ass fucking rape-face you've got going on!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, this is my regular beautiful smile."