In High Spirits
“Last thing I need is another pain in my ass!”
“Don’t even think about coming back, you deadbeat!”
The door was slammed shut, leaving an infuriated and alone man on the cold winter streets. His name was Alex. Alex calmed himself down enough to realize that he knew just what to do in this predicament. He stormed off, away from his wife and daughter into the snowfall that had begun.
Alex found the local pub was still open, probably for people like him. He took a seat at the stools, feeling just how alone he was by the lack of company in the pub. He was the only one other than the bartender who had just finished cleaning the countertop.
“Hey Alex, how’s it been?” The bartender asked.
“I don’t want to talk about it, Jim,” Alex responded, holding his face in his hands.
“Not good I take it… what was it this time?” Jim asked.
“I said I don’t want to talk about,” Alex responded. “I just needed some time to cool off.”
“No better way than with a cold one,” Jim replied. He pulled out a beer can and tossed it to Alex, who caught it before it hit the counter.
“It’s colder outside, Jim. Don’t you have some coolers or something?” Alex asked.
“Give me a break here, I’ve got to get this place ready for the inspection tomorrow. Doesn’t help that Christmas is here,” Jim said.
“Yeah, I see what you’re saying… but fuck, I got myself in a hole this time,” Alex said, downing half the beer as fast as he could.
“Tell you what, I’ve got a few more hours before I close. ‘Til then, you’re welcome to whatever you want, my present to you,” Jim said, knowing full well what kind of financial repercussions he’d face.
“Jim, you’re a saint, you know that?” Alex said. He felt a warmth inside him, like the alcohol was his fuel.
“An’ she said, ‘Are you even listenin’ to me!?” Alex snorted.
“That’s one way to get the story outta you. Still, marriage changes people that much?” Jim asked more to himself than the drunk at his counter.
“Hey, are you calling me easy? I ain’t easy, alright?” Alex said. He plopped the empty shot cup on the counter and looked to Jim for another.
“Look, you’re at your limit for today, and I’ve gotta close up. Let’s call it a night,” Jim said.
“But you gotta help me man, I don’t got nowhere to go,” Alex said, as if realizing for himself. “I got kicked out, no family, you’re all I got Jem,” Alex said.
“Jim, but yeah, I guess I can’t leave you like this. How about the Motel a few blocks down. I bet they have a few open rooms. Here, I’ll pay for a night’s stay,” Jim passed Alex a hundred and then started to turn out the lights of the counter.
“Wait, one more for the road? C’mon Jim, I need it,” Alex pleaded. Jim stopped for a second before nodding to himself.
“Look Alex, I’d normally say no, but seeing that inspection is tomorrow, I’d rather you get to this than they did. It’s a few days old, but I wouldn’t call it bad. I’m sure you won’t notice in your… state,” Jim said. He pulled one of the brown bottles from the top shelf and passed it to Alex, who cuddled it before looking back to Jim as if realizing what he did.
“Thanks Jim, you’re a real bro. Merry Christmas,” Alex said. He got out of his seat and headed for the door.
“I’m only repaying the favor. Merry Christmas, Alex…” Jim said.
Alex picked himself out of the snow and tried to shake it off like a dog. After realizing it wasn’t working, he decided to ignore it. He looked around to find the Motel that Jim mentioned, but realized that he had no idea which direction he had started walking. Instead of thinking about it like a rational person, he started to wander.
“Merry Christmas,” Alex heard a voice next to him say.
Alex looked to find an elderly man huddled in a ball with an oil drum next to him, burning softly in the night air. In the back of his mind, Alex thought he had seen this man before when he had been drunk, but he couldn’t remember if this was in fact the same man. Still, he didn’t know where he was headed, and decided to ask.
“Murry Christmas,” Alex said, then noticed the tin cup next to him, containing a few coins.
“I guess we all find ways to keep our Spirits high,” the old man said, pointing out Alex’s drunk stupor.
“This is all I got, but could you tell me where the Mo- Mo… Mo-something is?” Alex asked, dropping the hundred dollar bill into the tin cup.
“I- I…” the old man looked baffled, but then his face went soft. “I can’t take your money sir, you’re drunk.” He reached in to pull out the bill, but Alex’s voice stopped him.
“I can’t let you say Merry Christmas and not give anything to you, either. Can you just show me where to go?” Alex said, in a soft voice.
The old man took a deep breath and then a smile was on his face.
“For your kindness, I’ll show you exactly where you need to go,” The old man said.
The old man pulled out a similar brown bottle as Alex’s and held it up for a toast. Alex obliged and they clinked glasses. They both took a drink and sighed from the refreshing rush. Then, the old man pointed to the alley beside him and continued.
“I think you were always meant to go through here,” The old man said.
Alex, once again filled with alcohol and a warm inside, took his instructions and entered the alleyway beside the old man.
“What the-?” Alex asked.
The alleyway quickly opened up to a forested area with trees covered in snow and a cobblestone road that was barely visible in the thin layer of snow. When he turned around, the alleyway was gone and replaced with more trees.
“That’s some goddamn Narnia bullshit,” Alex pondered. He took another drink of his alcohol and trekked forward.
Alex walked down the trail and noticed there was a barn on his right. In his drunken state he didn’t intend to stop until he saw something familiar. Growing up in the city, he didn’t find the barn all too safe.
“Is that…?” Alex stopped at what he thought he was seeing on the road in front of him. It was Bon-Bon carrying a basket of cupcakes.
“I ain’t never seen a horse before…” Alex said aloud. Bon-Bon must’ve heard him, because she looked up suddenly and her eyes grew wide.
“Oh, did I scare it? What do I do now?” Alex asked himself out loud.
Bon-Bon assessed the situation and the unknown being in front of her and reacted as any pony in Ponyville would’ve. She ran back to town screaming.
“Uh,” Alex said to himself as he saw the colorful horse dash away from him.
Alex ‘walked’ in the direction that the pony went. He fell multiple times and every time he did, he took another chug of the bottle. By the time he reached the town, he was beyond wasted. Yet somehow, the bottle didn’t feel any lighter.
“Best present ever,” Alex said to the bottle.
Upon reaching the town, he noticed with slight curiosity that everything looked so country it couldn’t have been the Motel. Still, he was still wasted and kept hobbling along the cobble path. There was no one in sight but the lights in most of the houses were on. At one house in particular, he could smell a fruitcake being made.
Before his stomach had a chance to take this is, he saw a building that looked familiar in the back of his mind. It was Sugarcube Corner, with his mind probably skimming over the fact it was made of sweets and jumping to the fact that the door was cracked open and light was streaming into the street, like a welcome mat with his name on it.
Alex limped over to the steps for no reason and put his hand on the door.
“-close the door,” Alex heard before he pushed the door open wider.
Inside the store were ponies in the dozens enjoying pastries and a party that Pinkie Pie had thrown for the occasion. That is, they were, before the door opened and showed an ape like creature covered in snow and alcohol. Alex responded in a way that even his drunken state was surprised in.
“Why wasn’t I invited?” Alex asked the colorful crowd.
“Monster!” One of the residents screamed out.
Alex took a second to realize that they were all staring at him, and that the voice had come from-
“A talking horse? Cool,” Alex responded.
“Get out!” The same resident (Bon-Bon just wouldn’t let it go) screamed again.
“Hey, I don’t gotta take that from none of you talking color horses, okay? I had enough of that already,” Alex said.
Bon-Bon threw a cupcake at Alex and it hit him on the chest. Afterwards, the other ponies slowly left their shock states and joined in, throwing their pastries and anything they could find to fight this ‘Monster’.
“Ow, hey, stop it,” Alex said in reflex, even though he couldn’t feel anything except that he was cold again.
“Get him!” One of the other resident said.
Alex finally realized that he was not wanted and that this weird place was in fact dangerous. He backed out of the shop just as colorful ponies charged after him. Alex ran flailing like a chicken as he half stumbled out of town. The crowd found it difficult to keep up because of his long legs and whenever they lost him, it was hard to find him again because he was covered in white.
Alex finally stopped when he tripped over something hidden in the snow and landed in pool of ice water. It used to be covered in ice, but now Alex was covered in water. He pulled himself out without feeling a bit cold. Alex looked around and found that his bottle had landed safely in a patch of snow. He chugged more of the alcohol and sat beside the water.
“The gift that keeps on giving…” Alex said to himself as he noticed the bottle was still almost full.
The past few minutes faded from his memory as he sat beside the water and gazed at the reflection of the starry sky. He was sitting for almost an hour before there were steps beside him.
“Who is it?” Alex asked.
“I saw you at the party. Don’t be scared, I’m not here to hurt you,” A feminine voice responded.
“I ain’t scared. I ain’t scared of nothing,” Alex responded.
“Interesting,” Lyra said as she entered his view. She was thinking hard about something but then she shrugged it off.
“You’re one of them talking horses, aintcha?” Alex asked.
“Pony, I’m a pony. And you’re a human… right? I’ve heard so much about them,” Lyra said.
“That they’re a bunch of inconsiderate fucks that nag and bitch all day? Oh wait, that’s my wife,” Alex said, taking another chug of his drink.
“Foul language, I should take note of that,” Lyra said.
“Take note of this, leave me alone,” Alex said, feeling his irritation peaked immediately with help from the alcohol.
“Recluse, good to know. I haven’t read anything about that,” Lyra said.
“Piss off,” Alex said.
“I just wanted to learn a little more about… your kind,” Lyra said.
Alex felt once again his irritation peaked for no reason and threw his bottle at Lyra. She didn’t see it coming and it broke across the side of her face, giving her a few cuts. She fell back and cried out in pain. She picked herself up and ran away without saying another word.
Alex felt guilty and he didn’t know what came over him, but he was more saddened by the bottle that had mysteriously disappeared from his hands. He stared back down to the water and wished upon the stars that his bottle would come back.
It was at this point that Alex realized just how cold he was. The water that had been dripping off of him had become ice and his hands were growing stiff. His mind was numb and the alcohol was no longer keeping him warm. Alex looked up, wishing for once that he had someone to keep him company.
“You in need of a drinking buddy?” Alex heard a voice beside him ask.
Alex turned his stiff head to see Berry Punch offering a bottle similar to the one that had disappeared. Alex took it without hesitation. Berry Punch took a seat beside him, so close he could smell the alcohol under her breath. She took out her own bottle and they sat drinking and looking up at the night sky.
“Those friends of yours are weird,” Alex said softly.
“Not all my friends are weird. This one’s pretty alright in my book,” Berry Punch said, motioning to her bottle. “It’s all about which ones you keep close, and which ones you keep closer.”
“I guess we all find ways to keep our Spirits high,” Alex said, taking another drink.
Author's Note
I might make another festive story, so keep your eyes out.
In case I don't:
Thanks for Reading
Merry Christmas Everypony!
-Sly
