''Now, who can tell me what it was that brought down the reign of Attila The hun? Who in spite of uniting mojst of the ancient world in an empire that rivaled Rome, was defeated as uncerimoniously as it did?'' Mr. Sombra asked his history class as he sat in his burgaundy suit, watching, waiting for an answer from them. The first to raise his arm was a young man in the midlle row, he wore a clean white tee with an aged X-men iron on from the 90's on the front and a black vest jacket over it.
''One of Atilla's wives, jealous of the younger favorite wives in the Hun's harem, got Attila blind drunk and broke his nose with a club, though the injury was minor even by the medical practices of the era, but it was the injury that finished off one of the most brutal conquerors the world had ever known.'' The young man said as Mr. Sombra only smiled and clasped his hands together in joy.''
Excellent work Mr. Icarus.'' The way he said Issaic Icaru's name made the class chuckle at the mention of his name, it wasn't necessarily mean, just amused.
Meanwhile...
The Entomology teacher/Dean of students Ms. Chrysalis sat at her desk, she looked around nervously across her classroom until she was certain that she was alone, and she pulled a little cardboard box from her purse, like a raisin box. It was a box of dried roasted crickets. Now before you go thinking Ms. Chrysalis was mentally ill in eating crickets, try and remember that people's tastes are different all over the world. In many cultures its just as common for vendors to sell roasted crickets, mealworms marinated in teriyaki sauce, and steamed snails the way guys on New York sell hot dogs, honey roasted nuts, and gyros.
With that out the way, let us continue. Ms. Chyrsalis took a dried cricket in her slender blackish green finger and licked her lips. In her own youth she had her tounge extended slightly and the tip split just ever so. It wasn't all that noticeable, so it hadn't hurt her chances of becoming a teacher. She licked her lips like what she had truly was a treat, and in many respects it was, and took a bite.
"Ms. Chrysalis!" A voice shouted on the other side of her classroom door. Ms. Chrysalis sighed hard almost spitting her cricket out, and shuffled the box of bugs away. "Ms. Chrysalis come quick this is an emergency!" Ms. Chrysalis face palmed and braced for the worst, the age old saying 'I'm too old for this shit!' In her mind.
"Please tell me it's not that Dante young man AGAIN!" She said as she placed a hand on the door. Dante was a troublesome young man who was known to consistently make an ass of himself. Chrysalis understood his actions, but no amount of sympathy justified it.
"It is Dante again! He's..."
The school center courtyard.
"Defaced the statue of Dr. Starswirl our founder?!" Twilight Sparkle said to the guy on the statue of Starswirl. He was a pale young man, with jet black hair that lay flat on his forehead in shaggy bangs. He had on a blood red jacket and tight black leather pants, complemented with the heavy black motorcycle boots he made hit the ground with loud thuds. Twilight turned to him tisking loudly. As the statue of Dr. Starswirl now had a big red clown wig glued to the head, and nose glued on too. His lips were painted red and a tounge was painted sticking out out his mouth.
All that was nothing compared to the piece of resistance, a carved wooden dildo in a strap on harness had been fixed around the statue's waist, giving. Starswirl a very crude faux penile erection while sporting the face of a clown.
"Ha! This has got to be my best work yet!" He giving that Italian gesture of kissing your own fingers and flicking them at "sheer perfection." Dante Exinferis watched as Twilight Sparkle only shook her head in disapproval of what he'd done. "You're not going to snitch are you?" He asked playfully brushing a few locks of her hair aside.
"No...but only because there'd be no other reason for it, Dante this tomfoolery has your trademark and scandalous signature all over it, who else could be capable of defacing Dr. Starswirl's statue?" Twilight asked as Dante took a marker from his jacket pocket and ran it along the frame of a picture of Principal Celestia, before drawing a classic moustache and glasses on the glass..,"oh Dante." Twilight said face palming.
"Hey I was ORIGINALLY going to draw a dick jizzing on her face. If you think I'm nothing but trouble, why do you hang around me?" He said capping the Crayola brand washable and tucking it away nice and safe. As they continued down the hall waiting for someone to shout at Dante to halt and get busted. "Do I detect a little admiration for the trouble maker?" He said flashing Twilight a cocky grin.
"In your dreams Dante, I'm only still hanging around you because I think that there's still some good in you, and that you never mean to do the things you do." Dante chuckled and leaned casually over a water fountain.
"Babe, im all bad an nothing can ever change who I am. He said taking a drink before two voices called from down the hall.
"There he is! Bag him and bring him in boys!"
"Heh right on que." Dante rebuked giving Twilight a stolen kiss on the cheek. She touched the burning mark on her cheek...and she felt...exhilaration at the sensation his lips left on her bare skin.
The teacher's lounge.
Coach Iron will was sweating profusely from a vigorous morning gym class, he had been transferred to Canterlot High to coach older students after a "dogeball" game left half his class at Thomas Edison Elementary school with broken noses and lost teeth. He'd been spending the morning with the Broncos, the school football team. (thankfuly the NFL didn't sue them) Making them run laps, jump hurdles, and pummel each other the way he expected them to do to the Washington Warriors at the next game. Iron Will refused to believe that his players should learn to be as "cautious" as possible on the field, amd was one of the few coaches to vote no on the decision to make all games "strictly touch football games."
"Whole damn world's turning into sissy boys and pansies." He said taking a power bar from his sports bag and tearing the wrapper off. "Its like Archie Bunker said...girls were girls and men were men...now...makes me sick to my stomach just thinking what the future awaits." He sighed heavily and opened the lounge fridge, what he was expecting was his bottle of powerade to nice and cold by now, what he got was...
There is a fish dish in Sweden that even the Swedes consider..."an acquired taste, strictly for the conisoure that finds lutkefish mild." The dish is called...Surströmming. Essentially, take the already strong salty fish the herring, let it ferment to JUST the point of rotting, then pack and can it in salty brine until you have basicly a rotten fish stink bomb in a can. Why is this important to note here? Well when Coach Iron Will open that refrigerator, he was greeted by...
"Holy Toledo! What is that God awful STENCH!" he said gagging and hacking up his power bar, as the smell of putrid garbage, acidic vinegar, and salty brine hit his nostrils like a punch in the face. It was so bad, he threw his head over the sink and puked violently into it. His stomach churned and his sense of smell overpowered by the rancid odor. There sitting on a shelf in the fridge were three cans of Surströmming, that had been opened up and left in the fridge all night! Meaning the smell permeated and intensified up the moment he opened the door.
"Eat that.. you pompous muscle head." A soft meek little voice said inside the metal cabinet watching the Coach struggle with the unholy stench. A slightly pudgy male with a messy light chestnut crop of hair on his head. His shirt was stained with coffee and his jeans were worn with rips and holes in the once tough denim. He realized that he let his words slip past his lips and gasped before clasping his hands over his mouth.
"I know whoever did this is still in here. Come out and I MIGHT go easy on you." Coach Iron Will said as he stomped around as Kevin Calipers muffled his soft cries in his hands as he saw the big eye of Coach Iron Will look into the crack of the door...'this is it...he's going to open the door and...
"Coach Iron Will! Are you alright?" The lounge door opened and the former Crystal Prep Principal now Principal Celestia's consultant Ms. Cinch. Entered the room, gagging and sputtering at the rank smell of salty rotten fish.
"Don't just stand there woman! Help me find the little bastard or cunt who did this!" He screamed not caring for the risk of being fired for using language like that to refer to students. They stormed from the room leaving Kevin to ma 'll e a break for it...
"That was too close." He said wiping the sweat from his brow...
"Oh Really MR. CALIPERS!" Ms. Cinch's venomous voice said behind him as he felt her hand, like the bony grip of death come to spirt you away by mere forceful tap on your heart or back, and knew it was...
"Game over..."
Try dealing with these girls!
Sometime ago in the mirror world to Equestria.
"I'm a little nervous...I mean I don't usually let ONE girl in here after a night at the club let alone three!" The twenty something College Student said as he fiddled with his keys to the door of his upper east side apartment, the guy was the very definition of a grade A douche. His Expensive sunglasses, that blue vest with no shirt on under it, and pants so tight you could see the outlines of his bits which no doubt had been padded to make the bulge bigger. Had it not been for the three young women (as young or old as you want us to be cutie, they told him at the club.) waiting for him to open the door, you'd have thought it'd been another equally flamboyant male he'd have on his shoulder just by looking at him.
"It's alright, most guys we like are always intimidated at first." The pinkish one with curly pink hair said twirling a lock of her long Shirley Temple Esq hair. This hair style coupled with her short pleated skirt and white button up top made the guy at the door worried he'd be on a watch list if this night went any further but he made sure she told him, 'As young or old as you want us too be,' He had no idea. The other girl next to her had a more icy blue hair short and styled into long spikes on her head. She wore a black spandex top with holes, slashes and even a few fishhooks and safety pins in the spandex. This coupled with the girls skin tight black pants also with hooks pins and other fastenings, her spiky wrist bracelets, snake and skull themed earrings, and her snake pendent necklace, gave her a very goth or tough chick look to her. Most men would have been frightened by such a girl, but not him.
The last girl gave of an air of elegance and a desire for only the best and finest things in life. From her her genuine Prada bag and shoes, to the red dress and gold jewelry that adorned almost every place jewelry can. the snake headed bangles on her wrists, the snake necklaces on her chest, the gold coin necklace accompanying that, to the snake themed headdress she had tied her long blonde hair back in, and the gold rings on her fingers. Snakes and gold, they were the two symbols these ladies had gravitated too, but they only made the lucky sod they hooked at the club that all the more into them, maybe he could convince Blondie to leave all the Jewelry on in bed, he had a bit of a kink for things like that, that and leaving the heels on.
"Well ladies, make yourselves at home, Mi casa tu casa." He said with a slight drunkenness as he stumbled over to the fridge, not satisfied with how intoxicated a night at the club had gotten him. The apartment was your typical upper west side dwelling, expensive flat panel wall mounted TV, the high FY stereo system to go with it, the track lighting set to low on the walls while the paper flames of the faux fireplace danced under the TV. The Blonde turned to the spiky blue haired one and spoke to her in a low hissing voice, very different then her natural one.
"This one was almost to easy Elaine." She said as her hair danced and swayed a bit as though it were alive as her sister's eyes glowed softly with a red hue.
"I know Melissa, it's becoming almost quite a pity, these city boys are too much like their Manehatthan equivalents back home, all talk and walk, no sport in it if you ask me." She said as a snake head took the place of one of her locks of a hair as her teeth became viciously sharp. She was referring to the stallions of the Equestrian City, back in the magical world of Equestria. That was where these three "Human Girls" were really from. Only they were far from human. They weren't even originally equine either. They were the three Sisters of a race of vile creatures known as the Gorgons. In Equestria they had possessed the heads and torsos of beautiful equine mares, but their lower halves gave way to hideous serpent bodies, and their manes consisted of living, hissing snakes. Anypony that was foolish enough to fall for their mare disguises and follow them back to their lair under the guise of an easy rut, was quickly and sorrowfully mistaken. As they shed their pony forms to reveal their true selves and turned their prey to stone. They would then shatter the poor sap to bits, killing him, and feasting on the deception and betrayal that had been the last few emotions he had felt before the end.
The scene now was no different than then the ones in Equestria. Only now they had the forms of human females to hide behind, before their serpentine bodies and living heads of poisonous snakes revealed themselves. Slowly their legs fused together to form a thick and powerful body ending in a long whip like tail. Their fingers grew long and gnarled, the bones and joints visible under thin stretched skin, the nails long and sharp like talons. The poor man didn't see them slithering across the hardwood floor of his kitchen as he stood in front of his fridge pouring himself a glass of Coke. They smiled fanged smiles as they held their hands above his head as their eyes began to glow bright green, when he turned around and saw the sight from a nightmare that had replaced the beautiful young women he'd brought home, he let out a silent scream as his feet began to turn charcoal grey and into solid stone. Then his legs, his chest, arms, then finally his head. The coke glass falling from his hand and shattering, echoing the fate of the holder.
"Melissa? Can I do the honors this time?" The remaining one asked still in her hideous Gorgon form. She slithered up to him and stroked his now stone screaming face like a lover caressing her mate. Though he had been petrified by their gaze, their was still a living man inside, who could only see with un-moving eyes as they admired their handiwork.
"Go ahead Stephanie, I shattered the last one, your sister the one before that, so I don't see why not." She with a much nonchalant attitude as if they were asking who's turn it was to feed a pet. The poor man took in every word with fear and desperation, had he not been solid stone, he'd have been whimpering and crying softly. Begging them to not do it, to let him live, to not have his life ended this way. AS if the one known as Melissa knew this she smiled her toothy grin at him before sticking her long, forked tongue out and licking his face softly.
"Don't worry little man, It'll only hurt a lot for a little bit, then your soul is ours forever!" She said cackling loudly as his internal cries became louder, and you could almost see tears of sorrow break through the stony eyes. Stephanie lifted her clawed hand above her head and with a single powerful swipe, smashed the stone being to bits. There was no blood or organs, only dust and crumbling bits of rock. a swirling green mist floated briefly where their prey had been last standing which they greedily devoured by opening their wicked fanged mouths open wide as their eyes glowed green, the life of countless humans and ponies had kept them alive and young for centuries in Equestria, there was no doubt the same would be the case here. They licked their fanged mouths satisfied and pleased.
"Mmmhhhmm, He was probably the best one yet Melissa!" Stephanie said with a perkiness as she slithered over to the kitchen table a stack of unopened mail on the counter. She began to dig through it.
"I'm sick of it being too easy!" Elaine said as she browsed his fridge for a can of the coke her prey had been denied as a final enjoyment. "I need a challenge, and more then one. What happened to the days of luring at least half a dozen stallions to OUR liar and then making them all watch one by one as we shattered them?" She asked biting a sharp tooth into the top of the can and guzzling the fizz from the puncture.
"There's too much at risk in this world," Melisa replied. "Sure the disappearances get investigated but the dusty remains are never considered to be the remains of the missing chumps we take, besides. There's not as much magic in this world...I feel some, but If only there was more...a lot more." As she said this, the night sky suddenly went ablaze with...Dazzling colors. It was as if the Aurora Borealis had just flashed across the sky, the Manhattan skyline paled in comparison to the flash of lights in the horizon. They couldn't see it from there, but what they had witnessed was the Canterlot High Battle of the bands contest. The Rainbooms had just gained their advantage over The Dazzlings, and Sunset Shimmer was taking the mic to finish them off in her final phoenix like form. This far away however, the entire spectacle could only be seen as a light anomaly in the night sky.
"Do you know what that it is?" Mellias said as she stood outside the balcony of the poor man's apartment.
"A laser Light show in Jersey City?" Elaine asked helping herself to a coke.
"NO! IT'S more Equestrian magic revealing itself! Do you girls realize what that means?"
"That more magic is coming to this world?" Stephanie asked as she opened a letter from Canterlot city, specifically Canterlot High.
"It means more beings like us can be summoned here you idiot! The monsters and creatures we left behind back in Equestria when we were...forced to flee here. Can be brought over...An army of unholy mythological beings to aide us in turning this pitiful reflection of Equestria into OUR kingdom." The power hungry Gorgon Queen said as visions of everything from Harpies pulling men in half in their talons while flying away, and Minotaurs slicing others in two with battle axes the size of doors. Truly these Gorgons were the most vile and bloodthirsty savage creatures of Equestria, not even the fledgling sirens who were losing their powers at that very moment were as evil as these monsters. The Dazzlings at least never wanted to hurt or kill as these beasts had. "Quickly! we must follow that anomaly before it fades away!" Melisa said to her sisters, prompting them to revert their forms back to the attractive females and hurry from the apartment. As Stephanie dropped the letter she'd been reading on the floor. It read as follows:
Dear Uncle Hermes.
Things at Canterlot high have been going so well for me, I've made a lot of friends and my friends Flitter and Cloudchaser are on the school Wondercolts track team! I'm hoping to join too, and I'm glad to be here, looking forward to seeing you once break rolls around, oh I should also mention, I don't understand why exactly but there's something strange about the students here lately. Everyone just seems so angry all the time and I don't get why, maybe they just need some rocking tunes to chill out the way I do!
Love, your favorite niece.
Vinyl Scratch.
