You thought Sirens were bad?

     ''Now, who can tell me what it was that brought down the reign of Attila The hun? Who in spite of uniting mojst of the ancient world in an empire that rivaled Rome, was defeated as uncerimoniously as it did?'' Mr. Sombra asked his history class as he sat in his burgaundy suit, watching, waiting for an answer from them. The first to raise his arm was a young man in the midlle row, he wore a clean white tee with an aged X-men iron on from the 90's on the front and a black vest jacket over it.

     ''One of Atilla's wives, jealous of the younger favorite wives in the Hun's harem, got Attila blind drunk and broke his nose with a club, though the injury was minor even by the medical practices of the era, but it was the injury that finished off one of the most brutal conquerors the world had ever known.'' The young man said as Mr. Sombra only smiled and clasped his hands together in joy.''

     Excellent work Mr. Icarus.'' The way he said Issaic Icaru's name made the class chuckle at the mention of his name, it wasn't necessarily mean, just amused.

Meanwhile...

     The Entomology teacher/Dean of students Ms. Chrysalis sat at her desk, she looked around nervously across her classroom until she was certain that she was alone, and she pulled a little cardboard box from her purse, like a raisin box. It was a box of dried roasted crickets. Now before you go thinking Ms. Chrysalis was mentally ill in eating crickets, try and remember that people's tastes are different all over the world. In many cultures its just as common for vendors to sell roasted crickets, mealworms marinated in teriyaki sauce, and steamed snails the way guys on New York sell hot dogs, honey roasted nuts, and gyros.

     With that out the way, let us continue. Ms. Chyrsalis took a dried cricket in her slender blackish green finger and licked her lips. In her own youth she had her tounge extended slightly and the tip split just ever so. It wasn't all that noticeable, so it hadn't hurt her chances of becoming a teacher. She licked her lips like what she had truly was a treat, and in many respects it was, and took a bite.

     "Ms. Chrysalis!" A voice shouted on the other side of her classroom door. Ms. Chrysalis sighed hard almost spitting her cricket out, and shuffled the box of bugs away. "Ms. Chrysalis come quick this is an emergency!" Ms. Chrysalis face palmed and braced for the worst, the age old saying 'I'm too old for this shit!' In her mind.

       "Please tell me it's not that Dante young man AGAIN!" She said as she placed a hand on the door. Dante was a troublesome young man who was known to consistently make an ass of himself. Chrysalis understood his actions, but no amount of sympathy justified it.

     "It is Dante again! He's..."

The school center courtyard.

     "Defaced the statue of Dr. Starswirl our founder?!" Twilight Sparkle said to the guy on the statue of Starswirl. He was a pale young man, with jet black hair that lay flat on his forehead in shaggy bangs. He had on a blood red jacket and tight black leather pants, complemented with the heavy black motorcycle boots he made hit the ground with loud thuds. Twilight turned to him tisking loudly. As the statue of Dr. Starswirl now had a big red clown wig glued to the head, and nose glued on too. His lips were painted red and a tounge was painted sticking out out his mouth.

     All that was nothing compared to the piece of resistance, a carved wooden dildo in a strap on harness had been fixed around the statue's waist, giving. Starswirl a very crude faux penile erection while sporting the face of a clown.

     "Ha! This has got to be my best work yet!" He giving that Italian gesture of kissing your own fingers and flicking them at "sheer perfection." Dante Exinferis watched as Twilight Sparkle only shook her head in disapproval of what he'd done. "You're not going to snitch are you?" He asked playfully brushing a few locks of her hair aside.

     "No...but only because there'd be no other reason for it, Dante this tomfoolery has your trademark and scandalous signature all over it, who else could be capable of defacing Dr. Starswirl's statue?" Twilight asked as Dante took a marker from his jacket pocket and ran it along the frame of a picture of Principal Celestia, before drawing a classic moustache and glasses on the glass..,"oh Dante." Twilight said face palming.

     "Hey I was ORIGINALLY going to draw a dick jizzing on her face. If you think I'm nothing but trouble, why do you hang around me?" He said capping the Crayola brand washable and tucking it away nice and safe. As they continued down the hall waiting for someone to shout at Dante to halt and get busted. "Do I detect a little admiration for the trouble maker?" He said flashing Twilight a cocky grin.

     "In your dreams Dante, I'm only still hanging around you because I think that there's still some good in you, and that you never mean to do the things you do." Dante chuckled and leaned casually over a water fountain.

     "Babe, im all bad an nothing can ever change who I am. He said taking a drink before two voices called from down the hall.

     "There he is! Bag him and bring him in boys!"

     "Heh right on que." Dante rebuked giving Twilight a stolen kiss on the cheek. She touched the burning mark on her cheek...and she felt...exhilaration at the sensation his lips left on her bare skin.

     The teacher's lounge.

      Coach Iron will was sweating profusely from a vigorous morning gym class, he had been transferred to Canterlot High to coach older students after a "dogeball" game left half his class at Thomas Edison Elementary school with broken noses and lost teeth. He'd been spending the morning with the Broncos, the school football team. (thankfuly the NFL didn't sue them) Making them run laps, jump hurdles, and pummel each other the way he expected them to do to the Washington Warriors at the next game. Iron Will refused to believe that his players should learn to be as "cautious" as possible on the field, amd was one of the few coaches to vote no on the decision to make all games "strictly touch football games."

     "Whole damn world's turning into sissy boys and pansies." He said taking a power bar from his sports bag and tearing the wrapper off. "Its like Archie Bunker said...girls were girls and men were men...now...makes me sick to my stomach just thinking what the future awaits." He sighed heavily and opened the lounge fridge, what he was expecting was his bottle of powerade to nice and cold by now, what he got was...

     There is a fish dish in Sweden that even the Swedes consider..."an acquired taste, strictly for the conisoure that finds lutkefish mild." The dish is called...Surströmming. Essentially, take the already strong salty fish the herring, let it ferment to JUST the point of rotting, then pack and can it in salty brine until you have basicly a rotten fish stink bomb in a can. Why is this important to note here? Well when Coach Iron Will open that refrigerator, he was greeted by...

     "Holy Toledo! What is that God awful STENCH!" he said gagging and hacking up his power bar, as the smell of putrid garbage, acidic vinegar, and salty brine hit his nostrils like a punch in the face. It was so bad, he threw his head over the sink and puked violently into it. His stomach churned and his sense of smell overpowered by the rancid odor. There sitting on a shelf in the fridge were three cans of Surströmming, that had been opened up and left in the fridge all night! Meaning the smell permeated and intensified up the moment he opened the door.

     "Eat that.. you pompous muscle head." A soft meek little voice said inside the metal cabinet watching the Coach struggle with the unholy stench. A slightly pudgy male with a messy light chestnut crop of hair on his head. His shirt was stained with coffee and his jeans were worn with rips and holes in the once tough denim. He realized that he let his words slip past his lips and gasped before clasping his hands over his mouth.

      "I know whoever did this is still in here. Come out and I MIGHT go easy on you." Coach Iron Will said as he stomped around as Kevin Calipers muffled his soft cries in his hands as he saw the big eye of Coach Iron Will look into the crack of the door...'this is it...he's going to open the door and...

     "Coach Iron Will! Are you alright?" The lounge door opened and the former Crystal Prep Principal now Principal Celestia's consultant Ms. Cinch. Entered the room, gagging and sputtering at the rank smell of salty rotten fish.

       "Don't just stand there woman! Help me find the little bastard or cunt who did this!" He screamed not caring for the risk of being fired for using language like that to refer to students. They stormed from the room leaving Kevin to ma 'll e a break for it...

     "That was too close." He said wiping the sweat from his brow...

      "Oh Really MR. CALIPERS!" Ms. Cinch's venomous voice said behind him as he felt her hand, like the bony grip of death come to spirt you away by mere forceful tap on your heart or back, and knew it was...

     "Game over..."