Author's Note
The following is my entry to the 9th Bimonthly Twilestia Contest. I hope you all enjoy it. Win or lose, I just want to tell a great story.
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Chapter 1
Chapter 1
In life, one of the hardest things is holding on in the face of loss. You know that sitting around grieving isn't going to get you anywhere, but for a long time all you can really do is grieve as the memory of that pony plays over and over, and you have to live with the idea that you'll never see them again.
Then there's the guilt you feel somewhat in wanting to move on. You feel like if you do, you're dishonoring the memory of the pony you lost by choosing to move on with your life. So you find yourself unable to even bring yourself to let go.
This is bad enough when the pony is dead. It's even worse when that pony is probably alive, just forever out of your reach.
This is the reason why Twilight wasn't too surprised to receive a letter from Princess Luna a few months after the incident.
Dearest Twilight Sparkle,
I do hope you are well and adjusting to your new role as Princess of Friendship. The creation of your castle was quite a surprise to all of us, but I personally welcome it, as I'm sure the citizens of Ponyville do. Though the loss of the library was tragic.
I contact you now not just to inquire to your state of being at the moment. I come to you instead seeking your assistance. It concerns my elder sister. It has been a few months since we learned of her secret romance with the alternate world's King Sombra, and that much since the dimensions were disconnected. For a while she seemed to be fine, just as her usual self. Alas, my one thousand year absence has made me out of touch with my sister, and I did not recognize the signs of her grief until it was much too late.
I had thought that her more somber mannerisms were a sign of maturity over the years, and that her increased distance was due to shame in both herself and me. This morning however has made me question this logic. When I went to check on her to see why the sun was taking so long to rise, I heard intense sobs coming from her room. She refused to raise the sun, and has since refused to emerge from her quarters.
I looked up the day to see if it was of importance, and learned that it marks the anniversary of when she and the good King Sombra became lovers. I have not seen her in such a state ever in my life, and I fear for her psyche. Alas, her door is locked and she refuses to let anyone in. I know not what to do for her, so I instead turn to you. Sadly you have supplanted my spot as the mare who knows her the best.
Twilight Sparkle, please come with swift haste. There is no one else I can ask. I sense great darkness emerging from within her, the very same that corrupted me one thousand years ago. I wish to stop this process before it takes her completely, but I fear that we may be too late.
I await your swift response and your quickest arrival.
Sincerely yours,
Princess Luna
After sending her response, Twilight immediately got ready for a surprise trip to Canterlot. She had hoped that Luna was overreacting, or that Twilight was misinterpreting the gravity of the situation due to Luna's old manner of speaking. That wasn't likely though. In fact, in the brief time Twilight had known Luna, she was more likely to understate a situation, partially from optimism and from possible arrogance in her abilities to handle the situation alone.
That being said, Twilight was extremely worried.
It was a shame that she had to cancel on her friends. They were planning a play date with their pets, something that they hadn't had time to do lately with the map's random summons. Twilight was looking forward to seeing her friends under more comfortable circumstances. But this was more important, and her friends, while visibly disappointed, understood. In fact, they had offered to go with her. Twilight felt it would be better to go see the princess alone though. In fact, she even requested that Spike stay with the others.
The train ride was long and quiet, which was both good and bad for Twilight's thoughts. As she looked out the window, she found herself wondering what state Princess Celestia was in. Luna said that she was similar to herself right before becoming Nightmare Moon. Twilight wasn't sure what was more terrifying, the thought of Celestia becoming something like that, or the idea that she even had it in her.
For the longest time Twilight had seen her teacher as pure and light. She was the embodiment of the very thing she represented, bringing warmth and light to just about everyone. Though Twilight was aware that the sun also had a very destructive side. Could Celestia also embody those traits of the sun as well?
Then there was the fear of what Twilight would witness upon her arrival. Would she face a Celestia that was a sobbing mess? Somehow she couldn't envision that too well. Would she see a Celestia that was raging, lashing out at anyone who tried to approach her? That seemed a little more likely oddly enough, but only because Twilight had already seen Celestia angry, and that was absolutely terrifying.
Or would Twilight see a Celestia that was very much still the same as she always was, only this time due to her trying to keep herself together in front of her former student? That was almost scarier than all of the other things she imagined, because it would mean Celestia was trying to force the pain away, and only in the presence of Twilight. On one hoof, she hoped that wouldn't be the case, but as the alternatives were also frightening in their own right…
She'd have to see what would happen when she arrived in Canterlot. There was no point in trying to predict what she'd see.
When the train arrived at its destination a few hours later, Twilight emerged onto the platform where she saw two guards waiting for someone. When they eyed Twilight, they trotted over to her and saluted.
“Princess Twilight,” one guard said, “Princess Luna is waiting for you in her carriage.”
“Thank you,” Twilight said with a slight curtsy. The two guards escorted her to a midnight blue carriage with a gothic appearance. It was absolutely frightening to look at, but that was Princess Luna's preferred style. The windows of the carriage had purple curtains that were drawn, but Twilight spotted the silhouette of Princess Luna inside.
The guards opened the carriage door for Twilight, who immediately trotted in and sat down at the seat across from Luna's. She looked well it seemed, save for the extremely worried expression that marred her face.
“Thank you for coming so hastily,” Luna said as the carriage began to move, “I apologize for calling you on such short notice.”
“There's no need to apologize,” Twilight said shaking her head, “Princess Celestia was always like a second mother or big sister to me. Nothing could be more important to me than her well being.”
Luna sighed, “That warms my heart to hear, Twilight Sparkle. I have never seen my sister in such straights before. Though I fear that I may have been negligent in my previous assessment of her mental state after my return.”
“You said something like that in your letter,” Twilight said, “I'm a little confused by what you mean by that. What was Celestia like before your banishment?”
“Interestingly she was very much the same as you perceive her,” Luna explained, “However, when I returned to my post I noticed a somewhat melancholy air about her. As I said in my letter, I had originally thought this was due to her maturing as a leader, but with her sudden decline in mentality…”
“I see,” Twilight said thoughtfully, “Princess Luna, do you really think that Celestia could become like Nightmare Moon?”
“You have to understand Twilight Sparkle,” Luna said with a grave expression, “we alicorns bear a great burden. Our magic is powerful, but it can be easily corrupted based on our mental states. Even you have the potential to become a great threat to Equestria.”
That was a little unnerving to Twilight. She knew that she had immense power, but the idea of being a threat just seemed so odd. Still, she did have a great thirst for knowledge.
“What worries me though,” Luna continued, “is that my sister is currently the strongest alicorn in all of Equestria. Should she become something like Nightmare Moon I fear for the amount of destruction she could cause.”
“But the nightmare was destroyed,” Twilight said, “It can't possess anyone anymore, can it?”
“There are other ways for an alicorn to be corrupted,” Luna stated, “The nightmare is but one means of corruption, and it is the least important. What is important is the mentality of the pony in question. When I was consumed by my own jealousy I sought out the power of the nightmare in order to match my sister, who was always much stronger than I.”
“Princess Celestia is really that powerful?” Twilight asked.
“You have witnessed her power first hand,” Luna said, “Though the fact that she still holds so much of her power back concerns me.”
Holding back? What did Luna mean by that? Twilight was about to ask Luna to elaborate on that, but the carriage stopped at that moment.
“Ah, we have arrived,” Luna said, “Please come with me Twilight.”
Luna immediately exited the carriage. Twilight took a deep breath and braced herself. She was about to face what would probably be the scariest thing he had ever witnessed.
Her beloved teacher at her weakest moment.
The walk to Celestia's room was quiet, and a lot tenser than usual. Oddly, one wouldn't expect one to be afraid of Princess Celestia, but when she was little, Twilight was terrified of her. She was so large, and imposing. Even thought Twilight had met the Princess before during the test, Twilight still remembered the tension she felt when she first walked these halls.
Much to her relief, Princess Celestia was as kind and serene as she seemed when Twilight first met her. Quickly Celestia became quite the mother figure to Twilight, who quickly grew to love the princess on a level much deeper than that of mere student and teacher. Celestia held her when she cried, played with her when she was lonely, bandaged her when she fell and hurt herself, and sang her lullabies when she couldn't sleep.
Celestia was her rock growing up. A constant in Twilight's life that she couldn't imagine living without. Thus the idea that she was suffering so much… The idea that she had been suffering all this time…
They stopped a bit away from the door to Celestia's room, and Twilight turned to Luna.
“I… think I should go alone from here,” Twilight said.
“Are you sure?” Luna asked.
“If she's really as bad off as you say, then crowding her will only upset her more.”
Luna nodded, “I see. Very well. I shall wait for you in the library. Come there when you have finished speaking to my sister.”
Twilight watched Luna trot off, and then continued to Celestia's quarters alone. Truth was, the other reason why she wanted to do this alone was so Luna didn't have to see how afraid Twilight was.
When she approached the door, she tried knocking, but her hoof hit a golden barrier. She had charmed the door shut it seemed. Twilight held her ear to the door to listen. She didn't hear any sobs, but that could have meant a number of things, and not all of them were good.
“Okay, you can do this,” Twilight said to herself, “What's the worse that could happen?”
She charged up her magic, focused on the interior of Celestia's room, and then released her magic. Instantly the hall vanished in a white flash and was replaced with the inside of Celestia's room. When Twilight saw the Princess, she had immediately wished she didn't ask that question from earlier.
Princess Celestia sat on the balcony of her room, her head hanging low. Though she had on all of her regalia, she didn't seem nearly as majestic as Twilight was used to seeing. Instead, she looked quite broken.
“Princess Celestia…?” Twilight asked. Immediately, Celestia flinched in surprise before speaking.
“Twilight… you shouldn't be here…” Celestia said, her voice raw. She had probably spent most of the time crying.
“Why not?” Twilight asked slowly walking over to Celestia.
“I don't want you to see me like this…” Celestia said, trembling as she started getting more emotional, “I don't want anypony to see me like this…”
“Princess…” Twilight stood next to Celestia and nuzzled her. Celestia's eyes went wide and she ran off to her bed burying her face in her pillow, “Princess, what's wro-”
“Don't come near me!” Celestia begged, “Please Twilight, just leave me…!”
“I can't do that,” Twilight said, “This is about Sombra, isn't it? You're still grieving, aren't you?” as an answer, Celestia gripped the pillow her face was in tighter, “You never really got over losing him. Princess, I know that you're having a hard time with this, but-”
“You don't know anything!” Celestia snapped, now glaring at Twilight, who stepped back in shock, “You don't know what its like to be alone for centuries! To have to watch all of your friends die! To have one pony who you know will be there forever and then have to give him up! You, Luna, and Starswirl don't know anything about my pain!” Celestia caught herself and then looked at Twilight in horror, “Oh Twilight… I'm sorry… I didn't mean to-”
Twilight galloped over to Celestia and hugged her tightly. Before she knew it she was crying herself. After a second, Celestia wrapped her hooves around Twilight tightly and broke down. Twilight could feel it. She was on the brink of despair, and Twilight could feel the intense darkness radiating off of her.
She'd have to take things into a more personal direction.
