Shitty IRC Clopfics

A/N: This chapter contains bestiality. The means sex with animals, and considering this fanbase, that has left me quite confused. It has wolves in it. If this offends you, then what are you doing here in the first place?

Spike waited impatiently staring out the window, heaving a long sigh and rapidly tapping the floor with his foot. Twilight had gone to Canterlot to visit her family there, leaving Spike home alone. Nothing could have been better. He had agonized for this day for so long. They couldn't go to Arby's place because he had a roommate by the name of Static Shock, a green pony with a brown mane, and was a little off in the head. What he did in life was a mystery to Spike, but it was a well known fact that Static would go bat-shit insane whenever he saw a typo.

That was probably why Twilight had explicitly forbade him from ever stepping hoof into the library ever again. He would bitch and moan about all sorts of grammatical errors, which eventually made the mare banish him from her abode permanently.

A knock on the door made his heart skip a beat. "By Celestia's top-left nipple! That better be you, Arby!" Spike shouted as he approached the door. As he opened it something sprang at him seizing him in a tight embrace. Before he could blink, Spike felt a pair of lips plant themselves onto his.

"Spiky! I've missed you so much."

"It hasn't even been a single day since we last saw each other, you silly pony!" Spike laughed, but despite his words he was incredibly happy to see his maroon coltfriend too. He hugged Arby, "What took you so long?"

"Oh, Static invited Tap to hang out. I tried to get away, but they kept asking me to draw things. 'Draw this, Arby,' and 'draw that, Arby', 'the teats on Celestia aren't that big, Arby.' It just didn't end. I had to literally run away after pretending to go to the bathroom!" Arby giggled, "I don't know about you... but I'm feeling rather... heated at the moment."

Spike ran his claw through his mane, "I know what you mean." His eyes narrow as he pulled Arby into the middle of the library. "I want you, Arby. I want that you so bad. I'm going to fuck you silly."

Arby's face brightened at Spike's words, "Um... oh-okay... a-are you going to use me as a cock-sock this time?"

"Yes. I want you, I want to feel you." Spike tugged Arby closer to him so that their lips were millimeters apart. Just when the pony thought that the dragon would kiss him, Spike spun him around and pushed him to the floor. A squeak of surprise and delight escaped from Arby's lips as he lay on his back, grinning up at his lover. The way Spike leered at him made his Pillar of Autumn stand tall. Quickly and shyly, Arby hid his privates with his tail, holding the end of it with his hooves in a weak attempt to hide his erection, while at the same time he giggled with anticipation.

Spike lowered his body to the floor, lifting Arby's balls with one hand while the other shoved the tail out of his way. He wanted to see his Tower of Orthanc stand proudly alone in the center of his nakedness.

The unicorn shuddered at the sensation of his sex being revealed like prize at a game-show. He was so delightfully embarrassed that he was forced to look away in a poor attempt at hiding the wide smile slowly spreading across his lips. "Please be gentle," he whispered.

A naughty grin appears on Spike's lips as Arby lay there before him. His long, forked tongue runs links the area under the scrotum, just above his hole teasing it with the two tips as it explores the area around it, avoiding the middle purposefully. Arby spread his legs further apart, his cock throbbing like the veins along Carmine's forehead when he reads a shitty fic.

"No."

At those words, Arby flexed his ass muscles making his anus flux, sending air deep into his gut. He tried to stop himself, but Spike was much too dragonly for him and he could do nothing to resist his spasms. After a few more seconds of this, he let out a loud, explosive fart, the force of which shook the windows. Arby's face went from a faint red to a fluorescent crimson. How could he fart like that for the dragon of his dreams? Would he be disgusted? Would he be turned off? Would he not want to see him again?

"Smells like dragon-cum. You didn't wash yourself properly from last time, you dirty colt..." Arby face somehow got even hotter, and his breathing got even harder. The mention of last time's sexcapade made his hormones surge through his body, much like the ejaculations of many a reader perusing this highly inspiring work of literature. "Let's clean that right up..."

The maroon unicorn could only squeal in delight as his anus was pulled further. He squirmed around from the ticklish sensation in a halfhearted attempt to get the dragon to cease his teasing. Panting with his tongue hanging out of his mouth, Arby stared at the purple dragon in a hormone-induced stupor.

"That's my little pony," Spike said breathlessly, his words flowing gently over Arby making him shudder.

Spike grabbed his weenie firmly, then proceeded to give it slow, gentle strokes. Suddenly, Spike's long, strong, tongue found its way deep inside Arby, like a fat ringworm who lost his GPS device and was headed the wrong way. At this, Arby flopped around like a fish out of water, squirming at his touch 'bad touch'. His eyes were tightly shut, too embarrassed to look his dragon-lover. He felt so exposed, so used, so... slutty. They both loved it.

"S-stop p-please... I... it's too much for me..." Arby pleaded, his voice not matching his words.

Spike withdrew his tongue slowly from Arby's pulsing rectum and up his black superhero (that's Shaft, in case you didn't know what I was referring to). He shuddered and moaned out loud as Spike licked him from the base of his balls right up to the tip, his tongue exploring every inch. Then, the long snake-like tongue wrapped around his entire member, like the bandages of an ancient mummy, taking his time near the sensitive area.

This caused Arby to thrust his pelvis upwards as he put his forearms above his head letting out an exasperated moan of ecstasy. "Oh yes... I'm yours... I'm your toy... your plaything... your... slave..." He squeaked the last word out breathlessly.

"You're such a little slut," Spike muttered after he had retracted his tongue from his dongle, "Since you're my slave, I'm going to treat you like one."

Reaching towards the nearest table, Spike opened a drawer revealing a long silk scarf -- one that he kept near the front door for cold days and nights. They hadn't been a couple for very long, but Spike knew what his playful little Arby wanted him to do; he liked being tied up. Restrained.

Arby remained where he was, not daring to move so as not to anger his 'master'.

Spike knelt at the end of the bed, placing a knee on other side of his waist. Then, he leaned down and traced his stomach with his tongue proceeding upwards running it over his chest and up his neck. At the same time he slid his claws up along Arby's forearms and, using his dragon strength, forced Arby's hooves closer together just above his head. Then, Using his scarf, Spike wrapped it around the hooves, before looping it around the base of a nearby sofa.

Cupping Arby's face in his claw, Spike straddled the shoulders of his lover, his two headed turtle poked itself out from its shell and he took turns to rub each one along Arby's lips. Spike's grin grew wider and wider as he saw Arby's eyes grow hungrier and hungrier.

"Suck. Suck it now, my little cum-slut."

Obediently, Arby opened his mouth as wide as he could taking in both the heads of Spike's meat and began to suckle on it like a newborn foal on a mother's teat.

"Good boy." Spike whispered as he stared down at Arby. Unable to resist, he reached down at his pony-lover and pulled his head up, thrusting his cock forwards at the same time.

Arby's eyes widen as Spike's double-dragon invaded his throat, pinching his uvula between them. There was too much Spike for him to take and he flailed around as he began to choke.

Unabated, Spike held Arby in place for a little while longer, his flailing slowing down and his face turned fifty shades of blue before the reptilian relaxed his grip and pulled his forked-cock out of his mouth with a 'pop'.

As soon as his airway was unblocked, Arby gasped at the most deliciously flavored air... until he remembered the huge fart he had let off from before. Still, air was air, and he was grateful he could breathe although a small part of him couldn't help but feel a little bit disappointed that Spike didn't cum in his mouth.

Seeing the sad look on his lover's face, Spike leaned down and kissed Arby on his lips, rolling his tongue onto his, and feeling his way around his oral cavity, relishing the feeling of warmth as his precum meld with their saliva.

"My little fuck toy..." Spike whispered, licking Arby's jaw and gripping his pork sword.

Panting with a little mucus dribbling from his nose, Arby tried to grind his cock with his legs but found he couldn't do anything as Spike gripped his hairy hotdog firmly, but in such a way that it protected it from any outside stimulation. Still, Arby tried to get any form of stimulation from his efforts, only to be disappointed with the outcome.

Spike, unable to resist his lover's cute, desperate noises slowly began to move back down the length his body, licking every inch of the stallion as he went lower and lower. Arby stopped his gyrating the moment Spike reached the area where his ankle-spanker was.

The dragon moved his claw down to the base of Arby's tally-whacker, while at the same time he licked the very end of it, letting his tongue explore the edge. Overcome with an overwhelming rush of lust, Spike took his incredibly long tongue and wrapped it around Arby's stallionhood, like one of Applejack's lassos around Rainbow Dash when she tries to escape her filly-fooling desires. Then, Spike began to vigorously stroke the fat meaty pencil with a nice firm grip; he was masturbating Arby with his tongue.

Tonguesterbation!

Arby arched his back at the sudden overwhelming sensation, bucking his hips up towards the Dragon's mouth. With a devilish grin, Spike raised his head out of the way.

"P-please... master..." Arby begged.

Spike looked up at the pony panting heavily, his tip leaking from the tip. Leaning forwards, Spike let just the very end of the pony's cock into his mouth as he continued to masturbate the pony's pork sword with his tongue. His free claw found its way to his dual-ding-dong and he rubbed.

Squeezing his own pre-cum, Spike placed some onto his finger. Arby breathed heavily as Spike used his middle-finger and index-finger and his thumb to pry open that tight ass. Then, carefully, while the thumb and middle finger kept the anus wide open, Spike rubbed his middle talon along Arby's anus, spreading natural lube all over his orifice. A moment later, the finger pushed its way into him.

"Ah! Oh, by Luna's dark blue earlobes! Yes! Yes, yes, yes!" Arby spread his legs begging to be used deeper and harder. His eyes looked over to his side, and what he saw made his eyes pop wide open. A wolf sat beyond the doorway in the darkness of the kitchen, its eyes focused on him. Terror welled up inside the pony. Wolf? Here? How...

"I see you've noticed my new pet," Spike whispered into the pony's ear, "Do you like wolves, Arby?"

The unicorn shook his head quickly.

"By the end of tonight, you will." Spike licked the terrified pony's lips, forcing his mouth open with his reptilian tongue.

Spike knew that Arby couldn't fight him when he was like this. Right now he was nothing more than his little toy, his cum-dumpster, his bitch. But both of them did know one thing: they loved it. With that knowledge in claw/hoof/hand, Spike gave Arby's penis a quick suck before releasing it and using his dragon strength flipped the pony onto his stomach.

"Move your tail," Spike demanded.

Not wanting to disappoint his master, Arby complied and did as he was told. He moved his tail to one side.

"Raise your flank up."

Again, not questioning Spike's demands, his rump was raised into the air waiting expectantly.

Spike wasn't about to disappoint. Sitting next to the horny pony, a claw was run through Arby's mane.

"Come, Bane."

At once the wolf darted towards the two of them, Arby's body tensing up out of reflex.

"Don't worry, he knows exactly what to do," Spike reassured his lover, a playful smile spread across his face, "I taught him."

Arby did not have time to process Spike's words as the canine wrapped its front paws around his waist and pulled the stallion towards him. The wolf humped with excessive vigor trying to penetrate the pony's asshole. The feeling of being completely vulnerable especially with a predator made him shudder with excitement. He loved how his ass was exposed in this way, and he wasn't about to complain to anyone. He was completely at Spike's mercy -- or in this case, Bane's mercy, eagerly waiting for the wolf's heat seeking moisture missile to hit its target.

Bane, however, was useless and kept missing his mark.

"What does my little fuck-slut want me to do?" Spike cooed, enjoying watching the pony wiggle his rump around trying to engage contact, "Tell me."

"Ahn... help him in! Please..." Arby tugged on his own cock as it throbbed in painful in frustration; his hoof was not enough for him to cum.

Spike reached for Bane's wolf mutton-dagger, gripping it by the base of his sheath. He aimed the wolf's shlong at the expecting anus. The wolf slammed himself forward with all his strength the moment the tip of the canine phallus touched his puckered sphincter. Reaching under Arby, Spike pushed his hoof aside and gripped his cock before kneeling under the maroon unicorn and placing it in his maw. He sucked on his cock in a manner that ensured that the stallion did not climax.

It was too soon for that.

Arby started bucking his hips in rhythm with Bane's thrusts, while at the same time he fucked Spike's mouth. The wolf moved faster and harder and Arby arched his back to allow the animal to go deeper into him. His face flushed a hot red as he panted full of lust.

Faster and faster the wolf pumped until they looked like the pistons of the Canterlot express, which was coincidentally leaving for Canterlot at that moment, drowning Arby's cries of pure ecstasy. This lasted for a little while longer, after which Bane shoved his knot inside Arby and it began to swell up, tying them together.

If you have no idea how that works, then consider yourself lucky.

Bane's cum started to fire away deep inside the pony's abdomen, much like the guns of a battleship. Wad after wad of wolf sperm found its way into Arby's guts. The wolf dismounted and turned his body around so that their flanks were touching each other, the back of their hind-legs in constant contact. The combination of the cock and anus had completely bound them together, much like tasty junk food a fat guy.

Unable to contain himself, Spike pulls the unicorn up on his forehooves to that Arby's head it level with his two-headed trident. He began to face-fuck the unicorn. The feeling of the warmth of Arby's mouth and lips felt glorious for Spike, but he wasn't done yet. Lowering himself to the ground, Arby had no choice but to lower himself as well. Now Spike lay on the ground next to the pony, and he slipped under him, taking both sets of balls and placing both pairs in his mouth, like four small jawbreakers. And, as one does with jawbreakers, Spike sucked on them.

"Mmm... salty."

Pulling himself out of Arby's mouth, Spike first untied the tie that he had used to bind the hooves of his victim together. Spike hugged his lover tightly, and reached down to help Bane get out of his slut's hole. When the wolf wasn't doing it quick enough, Spike decided that he'd give him some help. A swift kick to the wolf's precious gems did the trick, and with a loud yelp, Bane was out of Arby immediately doing what all dogs do after having a fuck. He licked his genitals.

"Help him," Spike demanded, shoving Arby to the floor.

Arby did as he was told and began to lick the dog's genitals as well. That got Spike so hot and bothered, he shoved his own dynamic duo deep inside Arby. And by Celestia's third eyelash from the left on her right eye did Arby love it. Hugging Arby from behind, Spike lifted him off the ground and spun him around. Instinctively Arby wrapped his hind-legs around the dragon with his forehooves around his neck, to avoid falling to the floor.

"Um... Do... do you think we could go do this outside in the woods somewhere, master?" Arby barely whispered his question, but he wasn't satisfied yet.

"You dirty slut. Let's go get you some wild wolf cock!" Spike exclaimed.

Spike took a blanket from the linen closet and wrapped it around Arby, then as stealthily as he could, he walked out of the library and out into the Ponyville night. All the while Spike's split-pea cock was deep inside Arby's bunghole.

"W... where a-are we going?" Arby asked nervously.

"Somewhere where we might find some really wild wolves, my little fuck-pony."

Arby didn't like the look on Spike's face when he said that. He loved it.

There they were, standing outside the Everfree Forest. Arby started to have second thoughts about all this. Wasn't the Everfree really dangerous at night?

"Hello you two, what bring you here. Don't tell me that his cock is stuck in your rear," Zecora rhymed with exceptional talent. She was standing to their left, a huge dildo stuck in her vagina, her eyes were watching Fluttershy clopping to herself with a large carrot. "I love the sounds she makes, when she pretends it's with her bunny she mates."

"We're looking for some hot wolf action tonight, Zecora. Any tips?"

"It is going to be easy to find what you seek tonight, but prepare for hardcore action, not light."

"Sounds super." Spike rushed into the Everfree Forest, leaving Zecora to clop to Fluttershy clopping to her rabbit.

They didn't go too far into the forest before Spike pulled the blanket from around Arby and threw it upon the ground. Then he dumped him onto the ground and walked away. Almost within minutes they started hearing the baying of a wolf nearby. Suddenly a pack of wolves appeared. Larger than Bane and woody.

Timberwolves.

They sniffed the air, but kept their distance...

The largest, biggest wolf walked up behind Arby and sniffs at his anus. Its nose buries itself in his ass-cleavage inhaling the scent of his used hole. From its sheath came the timberwolf cock, that resembled something between a doggy-penis and a mango-flavored popsicle.

Spike watched as the wolf mounted Arby. The size difference was amazing, and Spike used both his claws to stroke both ends of his twin-penis. Double the fun!

The timberwolf fucked Arby swiftly and hard, the pony had barely time to breathe before he felt himself being tied to the wolf. The knot was so big, he could feel it press against his stomach. The wolf remained like that for a few minutes before standing up. Problem was, because of their size difference, Arby's entire lower half was picked up as well.

So, here was Arby hanging with his flank stuck to a timberwolf, handing upside down with only his forehooves able to touch the ground. The wolf started to trot around relishing the mobile-orgasm inducing pony cock-sock, which was weird because he wanted to be Spike's cock-sock, not some timberwolf.

Finally, the wolf had enough and dove into the river nearby, where it was rough and unsteady because the river serpent was busy pleasuring himself at the sight of a pony stuck to a timberwolf.

The cool waters of the river insta-shrunk the canine cucumber and the timberwolf darted off back into the Everfree.

Poor Arby limped out of the water, his anus was in agony. But worst of all he still had not cum! Tears almost falling from his eyes, he reaches his beloved dragon, "Can we... go home now?"

"Of course! Did you enjoy it?" Spike said reaching down and pick the blanket up and wrapping it around Arby.

Arby just blushed, and nuzzled Spike, "My butt hurts..."

Spike laughed and noticed that his protrusion had not receded, "You didn't cum?"

The unicorn shook his head. "He was way too big for me..."

At the dragon's insistence, they walked back into the library as quickly as they could, which didn't take long. Spike sat Arby on the nearest sofa, and nuzzled his neck, "Then, as a prize for being brave, here's my reward," Spike pulled the the blanket apart, and teases his inner-thighs with his tongue, slowly making his way towards his pelvis.

"Oh, that's better..." Arby whispered, spreading his legs, his little warrior growing bigger as Spike's mouth got closer.

Taking Arby's balls in his mouth, Spike gently nibbled on the skin, letting his tongue roll around them. Then, he licks him right up to the tip and placed the entirety of Arby's rooster into his mouth. Arby gasped and reached behind Spike's head and pushed him down onto his groin.

Arby's strength wasn't enough to keep him down and he pulled himself off of Arby's cock and leaned back to look at his desperate face.

"Wanna fuck me?"

Panting, Arby nodded as he started to jerk himself off, "I-I'm so close..."

"Then fuck me! Stick it inside me! Let me feel your cum deep insi-"

Spike was cut off when Arby reached over to his dragon and pulled his head down again and shoved his penis into his mouth. Then, Arby grabbed the back of his head again and started using it to masturbate. The dragon let his love cotrol the momentum and speed of his facial fornication, only helping by using his incredibly long tongue to enhance the pleasure.

With a cry that would have turned on an Ursa, Arby let out a guttural howl of pleasure. The pony pulled Spike down all the way to the base of his cock, and lifted his pelvis at the same time. The feeling of warm pony cream run down his throat, and Spike sucked it all down. Every drop.

Slowly, Spike released the cock, taking care to lick every drop of cum off of it. The once rock-hard pony penis was now as limp and spent. He slumped down on the sofa, relishing the afterglow, his hands resting by his sides as his panting starts to slow, resting his head against the armrest.

Spike kissed his cheek and got into the sofa with him, curling up as close to him as possible. The unicorn had barely enough strength to droop an exhausted hoof over his coltfriend. They both curl up into a big ball of scales and fur, a blanket to help keep them warm for the night,

Somewhere in the distance he heard a wolf bay at the moon.

"Alexstrazsa, Alphacat, Amit, Archonix... ah-ha! Arby," Wlah picks up the small file from the first cabinet at the top shelf, "Tonight's rating is an eight for you, Arby. Lose two points for leaving a river serpent to finish alone. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Shame on you."

Wlah placed the new content into Arby's folder and into the drawer.