Shitty IRC Clopfics

[17:42] [deathtap] Since I'm creating a IRC clop metaverse, I could make Wlah a creepy stalker type who likes to document sexual escapades.

[17:42] [@Wlah] I would

[17:42] [deathtap] heh

[17:43] [deathtap] Done

[17:43] [@Wlah] I don't stalk though

[17:43] [deathtap] lol

[17:43] [@Wlah] I'm a lot more upfront than that

[17:43] [deathtap] Even better

[17:43] [Arcainum] Wlah just stands by the window

[17:43] [Arcainum] and stares.

[17:43] [Arcainum] O_O

[17:43] [deathtap] Oh gawd

[17:43] [Arcainum] "Um, hello?"

[17:43] [Arcainum] O_O

[17:43] [deathtap] Hahaha

[17:43] [Arcainum] "Who... who are you?"

[17:43] [@Wlah] nah I tell the girl I'm phyiscally attracted to her but nothing more

[17:43] [Arcainum] O_O

[17:43] [Cyanide] Hello good sir may I watch your creepy horsesex?

[17:43] [@Wlah] most don't take that very well

[17:43] [Arcainum] "No, seriously, this is getting a little weird."

[17:43] [Arcainum] O_O

[17:44] [@ScyStorm] lol

[17:44] [Arcainum] "Please, leave"

[17:44] [@Wlah] Arcainum and then I go "HERE'S JOHNNY" and whip out my 'gun'

[17:44] [Arcainum] O_O

[17:44] [Arcainum] Yup

[17:44] [Arcainum] and "shoot" them

[17:44] [Arcainum] with "bullets"

[17:44] [@Wlah] funny situation anyway

It was another gloriously hot and sunny Saturday in Ponyville. Cheerilee giggled as she placed a dress in front of her in the mirror, trying to see which one would go with her new horseshoes that she had bought from Rarity at a special price. She was so excited about her date with Big Mac, that she could hardly contain herself.

Deciding that the yellow and white floral dress looked better than the blue and turquoise one, she carefully slipped in on after a hot shower. She sprayed her favorite perfume on her body, a little on her tummy above to 'woo-woo', and proceeded to style her hair before placing a straw hat with a wide brim over her head.

She looked at herself in the mirror and spun around, "My, my, don't I look nice."

"Yes. You do." A voice stated.

Cheerilee almost screamed, covering her mouth as she stumbled backwards in shock. Behind her was the visage of a dark blue pony with piercing gray eyes and a dark amber mane. The pony didn't blink, he just stared at her through her window.

She took a deep breath, "C-can I help you?"

"No."

"Um... what are you doing there?"

"Watching."

She furrowed her brow worriedly, "Can... can you go away."

"Yes."

The blue pony remained where he was.

"Um... so... what's your name?" Cheerilee asked. She would need to give a name when she reported this clearly troubled pony to the authorities.

"Wlah."

Cheerilee asked cautiously. "Wooler?"

"Sure. 'Wooler'. Fine. Let's go with that one."

Cheerilee stared at the pony's face for a long moment, feeling unsure of what to do. Then, she turned around, took her little purse from the dresser and slipped it over her head and backed out her main door, closing it gently behind her. Out of curiosity, she opened it again and looked at the window. The creepy pony was still there staring at her from across the room. A chill shot down her spine, and she closed the door locking it behind her.

After filing a police report, Cheerilee headed towards the large meadow on the far side of Ponyville. Because of her students, Cheerilee decided that they needed a secluded spot far away from the town so that if... things got a little too hot, at least there would be nopony around to witness it. She felt a wave of hotness tinged her cheeks at the though, yet she was so excited she felt her juices eager to flow. Still, she was a teacher, and could easily control herself. After all, one does not 'leak' in front of the students, especially when one's back is turned to them to write on the blackboard. Still, one rarely does not leak when it comes to doing it with a stallion as stallionly, strong, gentle and most of all hung like Big Mac.

They don't just call him 'big' because of his body size.

Wiping the saliva from her lips, she saw the object of her desire standing under an apple tree. The way he leaned against it, that muscular physique just, those broad shoulders, everything about him...

"Hi, Big Mac," Cheerilee grinned, "how are you?"

Big Mac snorted, steam emanating from his nostrils, "Horny."

"Me too." Cheerilee could barely keep her legs closed, she wanted him so badly. Working five days in a row with a bunch of kids stressed her out to no end. She needed a good rutting to get her mind and body free of the stress those miserable brats put her through.

Big Mac didn't wait, he got behind her and pulled her towards him. Cheerilee put her head down and spread herself open ready to receive. He rubbed the tip against her, slowly poking her slit, her juices covering him, when she heard the bush to her left rustle. Two gray eyes stared straight at her.

This time she did scream, but Big Mac didn't realize why, and he plunge his entire length deep into her loins.

"B-B-Big Mac... please... s-stop... there's..." She inhaled a long gasp out of ecstasy as he pulled his out to the tip, and slamming in back into her.

Two gray eyes kept staring at her.

She turned away, the force from Big Mac not letting her get a single coherent word out, and she couldn't help but let him continue his thrusting. It was like watching the pistons on a great steam engine work. She moaned in throes of passion, squeezing herself tighter around his cock in an attempt to get him to cum faster.

"Oh, sweet Cheerilee... y-y-your pussy's too tight... I can't..." Big Mac roared and threw his head back as he shot his load deep into her uterus.

A feeling of overwhelming disappointment welled up inside her. She didn't get to have an orgasm.

"That was wonderful." Wlah commented, "I'll give you a six out of ten. You didn't make her cum, that's minus three points."

Big Mac screamed and fell backwards, his penis falling out of Cheerilee with a 'pop'. "What in tarnation!"

The huge stallion recovered quickly and stormed the bush, crushing it to the ground, shredding it into tiny pieces. But Wlah had vanished.

"I'm sorry Miss Cheerilee, but I ain't got no more energy to go again. Wanna try tomorrow?" He asked.

"Oh, Big Mac, it's okay. I'll... be fine." She smiled, but inside she was frustrated beyond belief. She needed a stallion inside her and quick!

Walking quickly back towards the town, she searched for a cute stallion for her to rut. Rutting was needed, and stat! Her loins were burning with desire.

A strange prickly sensation ran up and down her spine, and she spun around to see a face poking up out of a barrel across the street in an alley. Two gray eyes stared at her unblinking. Without thinking, Cheerilee starts towards the dark blue pony.

A sudden shout and the sound of tires screaming made her jump back and away.

"Watch where you're going, bitch!" an ebony unicorn roared, his chocolate mane neatly combed to one side.

A smaller blue pony patted his shoulder, "Easy, Obli, easy." The smaller pony got down and smiled up at her, "Are you okay, darling?"

"Fine, just that..." she looked across the street only the find that the barrel was empty, devoid of anypony. "Look, I'm so sorry, I'll be glad to repay you in..." She looked at the two stallions. Two, young, strong-looking stallions, "in any way you want." She purred suggestively.

"No. That's okay. We're good. Thanks for the offer, though." The little blue earth pony giggled, "And I think I'm a little at fault for that, I was..." He leaned in closer to Cheerilee, "sucking him off, so I don't think his full attention was on the road."

Cheerilee's vaginal juices almost gushed out of her when the little blue pony said those things, his lips moist, probably with the other stallion's pre-cum.

She needed pony pummeling pronto!

"They won't do it with you." A cold, steel voice stated from next to her. In the garbage bin, the navy blue pony peeked his head out of the it, a banana peel draped over his head, "They're in love with each other. I know. I gave them a eight and a half score."

Cheerilee opened her mouth to scream, but was distracted by the little blue pony, "Oh, ma'am, by the way, do you know how to get to the beach?"

She pointed vaguely in one direction, "Do you know where I can find a horny stallion with a huge penis?" She asked.

"Oh, yes. Have you met Big Mac? He's really hung..." The look on her face said it all, "Oh. Um... well..."

"There's always Caramel." That voice said from behind her.

"Oh, hi, Wlah! Still spying on ponies going at it?" The blue pony giggled, "What's my top score?"

"Nine." Wlah pulled out a small black notebook, "So far."

"Wait... you... you know this crazy pony?" Cheerilee asked.

"Of course. He's the Fucking Rater. He rates our fucks, and sometimes gives us pointers on how to do it better." The blue pony blushed, "He's actually really good."

"If he's good then..." Cheerilee spun around hopefully. She didn't care! Creepy pony or not, she needed something inside her.

Wlah stuck a hoof out, "No."

"What?"

"No. I don't do other ponies." Wlah sunk back into the bin, slowly lowering the cover with him.

"Why?" Cheerilee practically shouted, her sexual frustration making her want to scream.

"Because..." He paused while the top was just low enough to reveal his eyes, "I'm an asshole." He then closed it over him.

Cheerilee bucked the bin with all her might, but nopony was in it.

"Fucking hell, Cheerilee!" Bon Bon shouted, "What the fuck's wrong with you! You better pick that shit up, before I smack you upside the head!"

"Sorry, Bonny. I was just... I'm just frustrated. I need a good long hard one inside me, and I can't find anypony that wants to just... do it!" Cheerilee began picking up the garbage and putting it back in the bin, "It's driving me crazy!"

"Go fuck Spike. He's always horny."

"Awesome!" Cheerilee skipped away.

Wlah set his camera down, and walked over to his office. Taking a stepladder, he placed it against one on the far end in corner and walked up it, pulling out a drawer marked 'C'.

"Carmine... Carpetbagger... Cyanide... hm..." He picked up a new blank folder and wrote something on it and placed it inside the shelf, "Cheerilee. Mare. Slutty level? Low. Needs more work. Fetishes? Large cocks. Not into Dragons." He grinned to himself, "Not bad for a Saturday."

Setting himself back down on the floor, he checked his massive room full of filing cabinets. He bathed in their glory, of all the thousands of secrets and fetishes they contained. Every detail, every photo, everything anypony could ever want to know about the citizens of Ponyville's sexual exploits was recorded here.

Only here, in the sanctum of this sacred place, did Wlah find it worthy to clop.

And thus, he did. And it was messy.