Freedom Filly Comics presents:
My Little Patriot: Freedom is Magic
Issue #1: Trouble with Teleports!
In the distant dimension of Equestria, within the small town of Ponyville, a lone unicorn scholar rummages through shelf after shelf of mysterious tomes of knowledge...
She was so close. Just one more book, and Twilight Sparkle would have enough information to complete her latest project. "Spike! Bring me my copy of Predictably Problematic Portals!"
Spike walked down the stairs, eyeing Twilight nervously. "Wait a minute... portals? Twilight, please tell me you're not trying another teleportation spell?"
"Don't worry, Spike, I've figured out what went wrong last time." Twilight explained confidently, failing to convince her assistant.
"Really, Twilight?! You say that every. Single. Time!! Every time you try a teleportation spell, we all wind up in some alternate reality for Celestia knows how long!"
"But Spike, I just need to-"
"You know what? Here!" Spike threw Twilight her personal copy of Predictably Problematic Portals. "I'm going to Canterlot. Let me know when you're done with this mess."
The dragon storms out of the room, leaving the mad magician to her work. Meanwhile, elsewhere in Ponyville, an orange pony brings a package to the local bakery...
"Here's those apples y'all ordered, Pinkie Pie."
Pinkie bounced cheerfully into the room. "Thanks Applejack! These'll be great in the-" Suddenly, Pinkie Pie stopped and stared at her hooves. Applejack walked over to her friend, a concerned look over her face.
"What's wrong, sugarcube? Is it yer pinkie sense again?"
"My forehooves are twitchy. That means somebody's writing a crossover fanfic about us!"
Applejack stared at Pinkie, failing to comprehend this explanation. "Crosswhat now?"
"Basically, Twilight's about to try another teleportation spell."
"Whoa nelly... we'd better get everypony over there, fast. This ain't gonna end well."
Now, in Twilight's laboratory, five ponies have gathered to witness Twilight Sparkle's latest magical experiment. A white unicorn with an elegantly styled mane walks forward apprenhensively...
"So let me get this straight, darling... you've developed another teleportation spell that you think will allow multiple ponies to travel over a long distance."
"That's the gist of it, Rarity."
"Well, I suppose we should get this over with. The sooner we get back to Equestria, the sooner I can continue working on my outfits."
Rainbow Dash hovered in the air, her forelegs folded in exasperation. "What would happen if she tried a spell that was supposed to send us to an alternate universe? Would we get sent back here?"
"Hey! No comments from the peanut gallery!" Twilight snapped. "Wait a minute... where's Fluttershy?"
Fluttershy peeked out from her hiding place behind Applejack. "Um, Twilight, is it okay if I stay behind this time? I mean, what if we end up somewhere scary? I don't think I should go... if that's alright with you, that is..."
Pinkie Pie bounced over to Fluttershy. "Aw, c'mon! It'll be fun! Maybe if we're lucky, we'll see more aliens! I love aliens! Aliens are my favorite! Well, that's assuming you're talking about "alien" as in extraequestrial, and not "alien" as in illegal immigrants, like the ones from Mexicolt, who keep sneaking across the border and taking jobs as housemaids for stuck-up rich ponies – no offense, Rarity – thus siphoning income away from Princess Celestia's citizens, damaging the economy and causing increased inflation, eventually leading to a nation-wide reces-"
Twilight interrupted. "Yeah... I'm gonna go ahead and start the spell now."
Concentrating all her magical focus on the ritual, Twilight's horn begins to glow with a brilliant violet light. A small orb of glowing energy appears in the air before her, slowly expanding into a large portal, rippling nearby space as it struggles to stay open.
One by one, the ponies walk through the precarious portal, crossing the precipice, the threshold, the very brink of space-time itself! But the question remains... to where does the glowing gateway lead? What perils await our little ponies on the other side of this arcane aperture? Find out the answers to these questions and-
"Ooh! Ooh! I know this one! -ahem- 'Find out the answers to these questions and more... in the next issue of Freedom Force!'"
-sigh- ...Pinkie, that was my line.
***
Applejack found herself in the middle of some sort of city. She was standing on a paved sidewalk, with cars going up and down the adjacent street. The buildings were rather tall with large glass windows. All in all, this place reminded her of Manehattan. Even the fashions were similar - the men wore business suits and fedoras, while the women wore pastel colored dresses with matching hats and gloves. If the locals weren't clearly human, Applejack might've believed that Twilight's teleport spell had worked for a change. Well, ah guess ah better find out where ah am.
The passing humans just sort of looked at her before going about their business. They didn't even stop to stare. It's almost like they were used to weird stuff spontaneously appearing in the middle of the street.
Ah s'pose ah could just ask one of 'em. She walked over to a couple - husband and wife, presumably - who just sort of stopped and looked at her curiously. "Uh, 'scuse me, could y'all maybe tell me where ah am?"
The husband gave Applejack a shocked look. "She can talk?"
The wife rolled her eyes. "Of course she does. Honestly, dear, I don't know why this sort of thing surprises you anymore." She turned to the pony. "Patriot City. You're in Patriot City."
"Ah'm lookin' fer mah friends, have either o' y'all seen-" Applejack stopped as she noticed the husband eyeing her nervously.
"...Are you going to eat me?"
"Eat you?" Applejack asked incredulously. "Why would ah do that?"
"He's just a little nervous about weird creatures ever since the city got attacked by time-traveling dinosaurs." the wife explained.
"Ah see. That sorta thing happen a lot 'round here?"
"Pretty much."
"Well, ah'd better go look fer mah friends. Thanks fer the help."
Applejack continued down the street. After much walking, she heard what sounded like an alarm and galloped towards the source of the noise. A trio of humans were fleeing a bank, one of them carrying a bag of money. The police hadn't arrived yet.
"Those no-good thugs are tryin' ta rob that bank! Alternate universe or not, ah can't let 'em get away with this!" Building up speed, Applejack charged into the alleyway the robbers were using as an escape route. "Whoa there! Y'all didn't think ya could get away with this, did ya?"
The thugs nearly burst out laughing. "Hey look, a tiny horse! What'cha gonna do, tiny horse? Bite my ankle?" one of them mocked.
"Y'all asked for it..." Applejack jumped onto her front legs, then spun around and kicked the robber square in the chest, knocking the wind right out of him.
"Augh! Don't... feel... so... good..."
Another thug hefted a baseball bat in the air. Before he could strike, Applejack kicked him in the face, causing him to black out.
In the commotion, the thug with the bag had jumped onto a fence and was trying to climb over. "Consarn it, ah can't reach 'im! Wait a minute... mah apples!" reaching into her saddlebags, she threw an apple into the air and kicked it, launching it directly at the last thug and knocking him off the fence. Giving him a quick kick across the face, Applejack picked up the bag in her teeth and brought it back to the bank.
Approaching who she assumed was the manager, she asked, "Ah take it y'all are in charge here?" The manager nodded. "Ah think this is yours." Applejack said, handing (mouthing?) over the recovered money.
As the police showed up to arrest the thugs, the squad leader entered the bank to congratulate Applejack. "Good thing you showed up, those goons almost got away!"
"Aw, no sweat, sugarcube. Ah just couldn't stand lettin' those no-good varmints steal all that money."
The officer extended a hand in gratitude. "Thanks for the assist, uh... orange pony with a cowgirl hat. Do you have a name?"
"Ah'm Applejack", the cowpony said, grabbing the officer's hand with both hooves and shaking heavily. "Glad ta be of assistance!"
And so our little ponies find themselves in Patriot City, separated from each other, and no sign of any other ponies. Where is everypony else? How do they find each other? What will they do then? How long before they can get back home? Can I get through one scene of dramatic narration without Pinkie Pie upstaging me?
...Evidently, the answer to that last question is 'yes'. As for the rest, find out in the next issue of Freedom Force!
Freedom Filly Comics Presents:
My Little Patriot: Freedom is Magic
Issue #2: Nuclear Winter Wrap-Up!
And now, we check in on our heroes, the peerless protectors of Patriot City, fearless in the fight against foes of freedom, dauntless defenders of democracy, the one, the only... Freedom Force!
Within the halls of the Freedom Fortress, in the sidekicks' quarters, Liberty Lad was sitting in his room and watching his favorite TV show...
"I was THIS close to getting that diamond!"
"You mean, getting rid of that dragon?"
"Uh... yeah, sure."
"Oh man, Rarity, you are hilarious!"
Liberty Lad heard a knock and realized too late that he had forgotten to lock the door. "Hey Liberty Lad, you in there?" Liberty Lad desperately reached for the remote to turn off the TV, but it was too late; Sea Urchin had already opened the door. "Hey! What are you watching, anyway?"
"Darling, you look ridiculous!"
"Exactly! Sharing a laugh is a sure way to get someone on your side!"
"...My little pony? Seriously?" Sea Urchin shot Liberty Lad a look.
"Hey! This show is extremely popular on the internet! I never would've even heard of the new series if all the blogs weren't talking about it!"
Before Sea Urchin could retort, the two sidekicks were distracted by the TV. "I guess he doesn't like laughing... or sharing."
Sea Urchin couldn't help but crack a smile. "Okay, that was actually pretty funny."
***
Several episodes later...
Sea Urchin could barely breathe, she was laughing so hard. "That bit with the man-voice was hilarious! You weren't kidding when you said this show was good!"
"See, I told you!" laughed Liberty Lad. "Now, which episode should we watch next..."
Before they could decide, an alarm went off throughout the base. Mentor, the team's leader, called out over the intercom, "Attention, Freedom Force! Everyone to the ready room! Everyone to the ready room!"
The two sidekicks quickly met up with the rest of Freedom Force - or at least, the members that were available at the time.
El Diablo spoke up. "What's goin' on, compadre?"
In response to the Mexican pyrokinetic, Mentor explained, "Our sensors have picked up a series of foreign dimensional entities scattered throughout the city. They appear to have been transported here through some sort of mystic gateway. I am now attempting to locate the source of the breach."
The alien psychic fiddled with the control console, and an overhead image of one of Patriot City's many streets appeared on the screen.
"Is that who I think it is?" Sea Urchin asked, disbelieving.
Minuteman stared at the creature. "Stars and bars!" cried the patriotic powerhouse, "That's some sort of purple unicorn!"
Minuteman's sidekick Liberty Lad facepalmed. "Oh dear Celestia..."
"Fascinating. It would seem that this diminutive equine was responsible for creating the dimensional breach." explained Mentor.
"What is this, a crossover fanfic?" quipped Liberty Lad.
Before the team could react, another alarm went off. The room started to get noticeably colder.
"Rings of Rexor! The walls of the Freedom Fortress are being frozen solid!" exposited Mentor.
"Previet, Freedom Force." A video feed appeared on the screen.
"Madre de dios! It's Nuclear Winter!" El Diablo exclaimed.
"Da, you capitalist fools! At last, I have returned!" As the communist cold controller spoke, the ice within the walls of the Freedom Fortress continued to expand. "For too long have I allowed you foolish Americans to disrupt my plans! Now, I shall freeze you solid, and there will be no-one to interfere with my conquest of Patriot City!"
"You'll... never... get away... with this, Winter!" said Minuteman, already being frozen solid.
Nuclear Winter laughed evilly. "Dosvadanya, Freedom Force!" The feed went out as the rest of the heroes were frozen alive.
***
Twilight had been searching this place (the local humans had called it "Patriot City") for hours, with no sign of her friends. She had nearly lost hope when she heard a familiar voice from a nearby alley.
"Ponyfeathers! There's too many of 'em! Ah can't take 'em all by mahself!"
"Applejack!" Twilight galloped into the alley, where Applejack was surrounded by thugs. "Hang on!" Concentrating, Twilight teleported into the center of the group, then focused her magic to form a vortex of telekinetic energy, battering the thugs with crushing force and sending them flying away in every direction.
Applejack dusted herself off. "Thanks fer tha save, Twi. Those varmints almost got me!"
"I'm just glad I found you. Have you seen anypony else?"
"Nope, ah ain't seen hide nor hair o' our friends since ah got here."
"We'd better keep looking. Who knows what trouble they've gotten themselves int... wait, when did it start snowing?"
The two ponies looked up and found that it had indeed started snowing. The sky was covered in gloomy gray clouds, pouring flakes of frozen rain all over the city.
"That's odd... how could anypony make so many clouds, so fast?"
Before Twilight could come up with a hypothesis for the sudden change in weather, she heard what sounded like a small group of marching soldiers. People were screaming. Stepping out into the street, Twilight and Applejack witnessed crowds of fleeing civilians being pursued by three human soldiers wearing fur coats, large fur hats, and thick goggles. The troopers appeared to be using freeze rays, if the trail of frozen citizens was any indication.
"Horseapples! We better go help 'em, Twi!"
"Don't worry, AJ. I got this."
Focusing her magic. Twilight fired off a bolt of arcane energy into a group of ice troopers, taking out one. "I have failed... the motherland..."
The remaining two ice troopers aimed their freeze rays and shot beams of freezing cold at Twilight. "For Comrade Winter!"
Twilight easily galloped out of range of the slow-moving beams, while Applejack circled around and prepared a powerful kick. "Take that, varmint!" The ice trooper stumbled backwards, stunned, allowing Applejack to finish him off with another kick.
Twilight prepared another arcane bolt for the last trooper. "Your victory is highly improbable." she chided before launching the bolt, knocking the mook out cold.
A voice called out from a loudspeaker somewhere up in the clouds, "More heroes? I thought I froze the last of you along with your precious headquarters. No matter, you cannot hope to defeat me, for I have turned the very atmosphere against you!" The clouds above the two ponies began to darken before shooting out streams of thick snow, condensing around Twilight Sparkle to form solid ice.
"Twilight!" cried Applejack, before being frozen herself.
The voice laughed. "You foolish capitalists really should learn not to keep your heads in the clouds."
Somewhere, a certain pink pony felt the urge to pull out a guitar and play a power chord while screaming, 'YEEEAAAAAAH!!!'
***
What will become of our little ponies? Who will rescue them? And how will they be able to stop the communist conquerer, Nuclear Winter, when the weather itself can freeze anypony solid in an instant?
"Help! Save us!" A crowd of panicked civilians fled down the street, trying to find cover from the freezing clouds. The beams had them surrounded; any second now, each of them would be helplessly frozen and unable to move.
Suddenly, a flying blur burst through the layer of clouds, causing the snow beams to dissipate harmlessly into ordinary snow. Landing in front of the crowd, the mysterious hero quipped, "Y'know, when I said '20% cooler', I didn't mean it literally."
"You saved us! Thank you!"
Another civilian asked, "Who are you?"
"You can call me Rainbow Dash!" The blue pegasus struck a heroic pose. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got a city to save!" Rainbow Dash flew off to look for the source of the weaponized clouds.
I'm just glad my weather control still works in this dimension, thought Rainbow Dash, scanning the ground for possible culprits. Spotting a group of frozen people, she swooped in and bucked the ice prisons one by one, shattering them and freeing the trapped humans.
"Th-th-thank you," shivered one of the freed civilians. "I think there's m-m-m-more heroes frozen over there," he said, pointing.
More heroes? There's more heroes in this dimension? Rainbow Dash flew over to see Twilight and Applejack trapped in the ice. "Oh my gosh!" Turning around on her front legs, she bucked her friends out of their frozen cages.
"AJ! Twilight! You guys okay?"
Applejack smiled. "Thanks, Rainbow. Ah owe ya one."
Twilight shivered. "C-c-c-come on, girls, we need to figure out how to stop these clouds."
And so, with the help of the cloud-kicking Rainbow Dash, our little ponies set out to stop the maniacal machinations of Nuclear Winter! Can they defeat the frozen fiend and wrap up this out-of-control winter? Find out... in the next issue of Freedom Force!
Hey, what are you doing?! How did you even get in here?! Wait, give that back, I need that for-
