Equestrian Life

by StapleCactus

Rating: teen
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Human, Original Character, Comedy, Adventure, Princess Celestia
Length: 19347

A man wakes up in Equestria with only his comforter and pillow. Is it a lucid dream or something mor

A fan of FiM wakes up in Equestria with only his boxers, a comforter, and a pillow. Is it a lucid dream or something more? He soon finds that things aren't as simple as expected and is thrown into a fight with his own sanity.

((The story is undergoing an overhaul. Please excuse the mess as I fail spectacularly at writing a story no one remembers to make myself feel better.))

Published 2012-06-07 09:54:02 UTC
Last updated 2014-11-11 20:38:57 UTC

In which our tale begins anew

“Ugh, blasted sun…”

The sun was my most hated enemy in the mornings, what with its rays having the strength to penetrate eyelids and dreamscapes alike, ruining my latest attempt at a world-record sleep marathon. But as my mind cleared, I began to wonder why it seemed so particularly vengeful this time.

The fan isn’t working, I thought as I rolled over to blind myself of that most hated of fires. Did the power go out? Eh, if I just lay here long enough—

My leg fell out of my cocoon, letting me feel the breeze that shouldn’t be and blades of grass that definitely shouldn’t be my bed. I’ve dealt with ice-water splashing on me before, but this was a new experience altogether.

Why would someone put grass on my bed? On second thought, where’s the bounce and springs? And where is that wind coming from?!

There was nothing to it. I had to wake up to get answers, which only made me irritated. Everyone knows sleep is better than reality, that dreams are where everything is made interesting and fun, and that reality is nothing but a bleak reminder of what you will never have.

So I hated life. Sue me.*

Okay, now I’m getting up.

Aaany minute now…

Answers… a-hoy!

Okay, okay, I see how it is, Body. Listen just this one time, and I will feed you a salad. Does that sound good? Of course it does; I know you hate my Cheez-It binges. Now let’s do this!

With all the energy of a sloth (which I know has more energy than expected, but just go with me on this) I rolled onto my back and lurched into a seated position with my hand as a visor. My retinae screamed bloody murder all the same, however, so I opened my eyes only the barest amount to see.

It was times like this I am reminded I am blind. Okay, not literally blind, but I need glasses like people need their cell phones, which is to say “all the time in order to do anything.” All I could see was a haze of color.

There were no walls, so I wasn’t in my room. There was no bed, so the grass was actually telling me I was sleeping on the ground. At some point in the distance, the green ground blurred into a blue sky, so I didn’t have a floor or a roof. I could kinda-sorta make out a tree near me, but that was all the detail I had. In short, I was in a field somewhere at some time and I wasn’t fond of that.

Where the hell am I?!

Really not fond of it. Like, there were a lot more expletives in that thought than I care to relay. Needless to say, I had a small bout of internal screaming before I realized, just maybe, I should do something about the situation.

So I pulled up my big boy pants and stood. Said pants was actually the comforter I was cocooned within, as I didn’t have anything on but a pair of boxers. I tried looking for my glasses, but as I normally sit them on my nightstand, and said nightstand was nonexistent, it was a futile effort.

Step one, situation report. I’ve been torn from my home and left with nothing. Whoever did this didn’t have the decency of leaving me clothes, so I’m limited to my boxers, a comforter, and… a pillow… for whatever good that will do me. I crouched down to retrieve the pillow, internally playing the Zelda item collection theme song thing. I’m in a field, which my farm surrounds, so I could easily be within walking distance of home. Now, just how far away is that?

Using the extra three feet of height to see, I spotted a cluster of dark green which I could only mark as a forest and some...thing in the opposite direction. With bare feet and legal blindness, I marked the treeline off the list of options and took my first steps towards the something.

Grasses turned into bare dirt after only a couple steps and continued along my heading. I assumed it to be a path of some sort, possibly formed by animals, as I felt no gravel or exposed rocks. Good thing something is going my way. This road would be hell on my feet otherwise, I thought, not trusting the next step to be pain-free and glad for being wrong again and again.

Every second brought the object closer, clearer, but left me with a growing headache from straining my eyes. In time, it morphed into a town, one from the 1600s, with what looked like thatched roofs and exposed framework on white walls. Some of them had different colors on them, though, but that was nothing to the hunched blobs milling about the buildings.

Step two, fact check observations. Towns look absolutely, positively nothing like what I’m seeing. Whatever those blobs are, humans don’t slouch that much… even in Detroit, I’m sure. There’s a distinct lack of vehicles as well. Where the hell am I?

Someone spotted me, or at least made a motion that might have sorta been construed as spotting me, and started coming closer. I stood and waited, squinting as much as I could to recognize him or her before it was too late to react. It definitely wasn’t human, though, and surprisingly pink.

My mind went to the first place it could. Oh god, don't tell me. I must be hallucinating, or in a coma, or... or something. There's NO way I’m here.

The creature came close enough for me to get a basic idea of shape and sat down, tilting its head in confusion as I turned my squint all the way to eleven. It was pony-shaped, but not like a normal pony. No, I knew that shape.

“Hi!” It paused, waiting for a response. When I didn’t answer, its ears folded over. “W-what are you?” it asked, and I knew it instantly as the perky, although slightly more cautious than I remember, voice of Pinkie Pie.

The impulse was too strong. I couldn’t fight it this time. I knew it was a cliche, but it was too apt a time. My left hand settled itself over my face, feeling right at home as it made its own impression of the facehuggers of Half-Life.

I’m in Equestria.

If the universe let me, I would continue to stand there in my quilt, shaking my head at the insanity of it all. As it was, I peeked through my fingers to see Pinkie waiting patiently. Almost… too patiently…

Ah! Right, answers, she wants those. I lifted my hand off my face, though I’m sure it would have loved to stay there. “Uh… call me… Dex? Yeah, Dex! I’m a human… and I… just… Could you give me a moment?” I let the hand do as it pleased once more, this time pinching the bridge of my nose as I closed my eyes.

Okay…. Okay…. I'm in Equestria, apparently. Don’t freak out. Did I go into a coma when I went to bed? Is this just an extremely lucid dream? I never get dreams that I’m aware of enough to do what I’m doing right now. I need answers and I'm... I opened my eyes a moment to see Pinkie still standing there, though she moved sporatically, and went back to thinking. ...pretty sure that Pinkie won't have them. Maybe Twilight? If not her, maybe Celestia, or Luna? Alright, plan of action: get!

“...all my friends!” Pinkie concluded, though I have no idea what she concluded. I just know she did because she stopped talking and moving to look at me. I was… generally surprised. All it took was a simple greeting and she was already best friends with me or something.

“Wait, what was that? Sorry, I was thinking and completely zoned out. Something about friends?” Okay, so, as long as I don’t say anything I shouldn’t know, I won’t startle them. Just play it cool. ...Psh, yeah, like that will happen.

Knowing Pinkie, I didn’t bother paying attention to what she was saying and only picked out the important parts. She was blabbering on about what I said, something about zoning out and some pun or another, I’m sure. Then, she seemed to catch on and relayed what I can only imagine was the short version of what she originally said.

“I said, ‘I've never heard of a human before. Maybe Twilight knows something about you. Oh! You should totally come with me so you can meet all my friends!’” Then again, a short version wouldn’t have the same fillers like ‘oh’ and the animated movements she made.

I stared at her for a moment, contemplating whether she could help me or not, and said, "You just repeated yourself verbatim, didn't you? Yeah, okay, let's go meet your friends." Hopefully, with her next to me, I won't be stopped by anyone. The faster I can get to Twilight, the better. "Are we going to meet this 'Twilight' first?"

“Yupperoonie!” She exclaimed, then bolted for the town before I could make a sound. Oye. Oye! C’mon, I’m a 220 pound bipedal monstrosity, and you expect me to keep up with that? I sighed, knowing the plan failed in a way only Pinkie could do. This is going to be so much fun, I thought as I followed her general direction with shuffling feet.

When I reached the town’s edge, I recognized a large tree on the far side of town, if only because it was the only tree that big around. That must be Twilight’s library. Adjusting for the new direction, I sped up my walk, knowing that every second on the streets would draw attention to me, and a certain pegasus wouldn’t be far off. There were a few whispers and glances thrown my way, though I couldn’t pick out what kind of looks I was getting. Regardless, they scurried to the sides and gave me a wide berth.

“Stop right there!” came the voice of said pegasus: Rainbow Dash. I knew she was talking to me; the commanding tone wouldn’t have been used on anyone but a stranger, after all, but that didn’t stop me from hoping otherwise.

Oh please, oh please, let her be talking to someone else. I can’t deal with her right now.

“I said, ‘stop!’” I didn’t even have a chance to react before I was tackled to the ground. Now, I've never been tackled before, especially from behind, so my only reaction was to put my hands out in front of me. It didn't stop me from getting my face slammed into the dirt, but it did prevent anything from breaking as it felt like what I can only image being hit by a pillow full of rocks going fifty would be like. As luck would have it, I landed in a slightly softer part of earth, getting a mouthful of dirt.

I felt her shuffle on top of me, sitting on my back like a triumphant… something that’s triumphant. What sits on the back of the thing they defeated, anyway? “I got you now! You won’t be terrorizing anymore ponies while I’m around. We’re going to wait right here until my friends show up.”

She honestly thought her weight alone could stop me. With her feeling nothing more than a couple sacks of concrete, 160 pounds for the slow ones, I felt like she was adding insult to injury. Of course, with me being the only one sounding injured, the insult just took that much more.

Spitting out what dirt I could, I turned as much as I could to look at her. “If you didn’t already notice, I was heading to the library to do just that!” Crap, bad move. Mouth, stop doing whatever you want! We are in a situation here!

"Huh?! And just how do you know who my friends are?!” I twisted as much as I could to see pony blobs surrounding us. If Rainbow Dash was yelling to draw attention, she certainly got her wish. “Are you a spy for some weird hairless ape country? Huh?!"

Well, if I didn’t know who your friends were before… "You just answered that for me. And no, I'm not a spy.” I paused for a moment to think about what she had said. “And I'm not an ape! Get off me so I can talk to Twilight!" Dammit, again, Mouth? Really?

"Aha! I didn't tell you my friend’s name! You are a spy!" How has none of her friends shown up yet? Wait, maybe…

"Ugh. Pinkie. Pinkie told me. She met me outside of town and told me to go to the library." Just get off me already. I know I could throw you off, but still!

"Uh huh, and what if you're lying?" Dash started to sound unsure at this point, and the shuffling on my back just added to my assumption.

"Just follow me there. You tackled me, once; you could do it again."

"And give you a chance to get away? No way!"

"Do you not trust your own abilities? Maybe you just got lucky, then." Take the bait, take the bait, take the bait!

"Oh yeah? As much as I’d love to prove you wrong, I am the fastest pony in Ponyvile after all, you could be dangerous.” ...Seriously? She… what?

Screw it. I moved my hands under me and pushed, causing Dash to tumble off me as I got my feet under me and stood. She was already on her hooves with her wings spread, no doubt about to jump me again. “That’s why you can trust me.” Upon tilting her head, I continued. “If I wanted to cause harm, I could have pushed you off from the beginning, but I wanted to have you at my side as I went to Twilight’s. So here’s what we’re going to do…”

I leaned down and whispered, making sure the ponies nearby couldn’t hear me. “You will play the guard and escort me to the library like I wanted and you can be seen as the hero you seem to care about being so much.”

Rainbow glared at me, then looked around at the others, and finally nodded. “Try anything funny and I’ll knock you flat again,” she growled.

I grabbed my dropped pillow and placed it on her head. “Please don’t. I’d rather not attempt breaking something again with this hard head of yours.”

If a glare could become a beam of hatred that sucked the soul out of the recipient, Dash would be close to creating it. “I’m watching you, monkey,” she said as she threw the pillow at me, though it didn’t have the force behind it I’m sure she was hoping for. “Now march!”

“Not a monkey, either,” I said off-hand as I continued on my way, pointedly trying to ignore the colorful pony watching my every boxer-clad move. The further we got, the more at ease the ponies around us seemed to become, but I had the distinct feeling a few of them were giving me a similar look Rainbow was. Comforter, have I told you how much I appreciate you? I thought as I hugged the blanket closer.

*Please don’t actually sue me.

Author's Note

And so we start over. Some parts I really don't care to change, like the next chapter, but I'll see what all needs it. I made this a new chapter to let the old readers find it once more.

Introductions

Dash and I stood in front of the library. I could finally see the thing enough to make out that the show was accurate, and it looked as I expected it to: a hollowed out, but somehow still alive, tree. Before I had a chance to knock, Twilight opened the door. She jumped slightly, not expecting my presence so close to her home, I wagered.

“So you’re this ‘human’ Pinkie told me about? Quickly, get inside.” She shuffled out of the way as Dash herded me into the treehouse library. The inside continued the basic design set from the show, but I could not make out many details.

"About time you got here, the party is almost ready. Oh, you already met Dashie! Hi Dashie!" Pinkie said, popping out of what I assumed was the kitchen. What is she doing?

"So you do know this thing? Pinkie, why didn't you let anyone know? It could be dangerous!" Dash responded.

I'm right here you know. "Okay, we're here and you can see they were expecting me. You can stop being rude now."

"Jeez, you sound like Rarity. It's your own fault for not stopping when I told you!"

I didn't get a chance to respond as Twilight walked in front of me with curiosity set upon her features. She looked a bit frazzled as well. “Pinkie is bringing everypony over to meet you, but I think we need to discuss a few things first.”

“Yeah, I think that would be best. Is there somewhere I can sit down? Someone thought it would be a good idea to tackle me,” I said, sending a smirk Dash’s way.

"Hey, I just said-"

"Dash!" It looked like Twilight wanted to admonish her but thought better of it. "I'm sorry. My name is Twilight Sparkle. I hope you forgive my friend here and yes, take the couch over there."

"No need to apologize. She did what she thought was right. No worries." Okay, still gotta work on my joking voice apparently.

Pinkie went back into the kitchen as Dash followed to get some answers from her. Twilight led me to a small couch and let me sit down, laying my dust-covered pillow in my lap. She didn't seem too concerned about the dirt and we jumped right to the issue.

“Who are you and why are you here?”

“I’m Dex and I have no idea why I’m here. I woke up outside of town just a few minutes ago and met Pinkie. If you are worried about your friends’ safety, don’t be. I’m as peaceful as I’m sure you are.”

She took a moment to contemplate. “What is a human?”

“That’s like saying, ‘what is a pony.’” I leaned back to think of the best answer. “I guess you could say we are good, or mean well, and we are highly adaptable.”

A knock came from the library’s front door, halting our conversation. Twilight went to answer it while I sat and waited for the inevitable flood of questions and suspicions. She opened the door and said a few words to whoever was on the other side before allowing them entry.

Applejack entered first, followed by Rarity and Fluttershy. At the distance I was at, I couldn’t see their expressions. They jumped back a bit when they looked towards me, but slowly walked over as they got over their initial shock. Twilight closed the door and stood back, no doubt watching my actions.

“Well ain’t ya a peculiar fella,” Applejack said as they reached me, Fluttershy hiding as best she could behind her mane while Rarity looked me over.

“I’m certain I am compared to y’all,” I said, letting my country accent slip a bit and leaning forward to get a better look at their faces.

“Ah’m Applejack, this here’s Rarity and the yellow pegasus hiding behind her mane there is Fluttershy,” she said as she pointed at each pony.

“Call me Dex. It’s nice to meet y’all.” I reached a hand out and they looked at it for a moment before I chuckled and made a fist. Applejack obliged me by bumping her hoof against it.

“What happened to you to make you so filthy?” Rarity asked, always focused on cleanliness as she was.

“I had an altercation with Rainbow Dash. Nothing serious,” I quickly added at their concerned expressions with a wave of my hand.

“Oh dear, are you all right?” Fluttershy asked, my previous statement not removing her own worried look.

“Yes, I’m fine. I landed in a soft patch in the road and it would take a bit more to injure me anyway.”

“Ah just got one question for ya. What are ya goin’ to do now?”

I turned to Applejack and let her study my features as I answered. “I’m not sure. I’d like to get cleaned up and find some glasses, but know that I won’t do a single thing to harm anyone if I can help it.”

Twilight spoke up while Applejack looked me in the eyes. “You have bad eyesight?”

Satisfied with whatever she was looking for, the farmer nodded, turned, and headed to the room Pinkie and Dash had disappeared into. With my attention free once more, I looked up to Twilight. “Yeah, it’s pretty bad. I can’t see anything clearly for more than a few inches from my face. When I woke up in that field outside of town, this was all I had.” I gestured to my pillow and comforter.

“Oh, that simply won’t do at all!” came Rarity’s response. “I’ll make something for you personally; just stop by my boutique tomorrow.”

“I couldn’t possibly ask you to do such a thing.”

“Nonsense, everypony needs at least one good outfit.”

“That’s mighty kind of you, but I have no money to pay you.”

“I’ll take care of it, darling. Don’t you fret about it.”

Deciding that I wouldn’t win an argument of generosity against the element of such, I relented and thanked her. Before another question could be asked, the three mares came back out of the kitchen, food piled high on their backs. They set it all down on a nearby table and looked towards us.

“Come on, everypony! Let’s make this into a party!” Pinkie said and bounced over to the far wall to start some music. Surprisingly, as I suspected they had more questions, the girls I was talking to started towards the food.

“Hey, Twilight, hold on,” I said. She stopped and came back over.

“Yes?”

“Why are you all so calm about this? It’s like, as soon as I told you I meant no harm, the tension left.”

She looked at me confused for a moment before giggling. “We wouldn’t be very good ponies if we didn’t trust others a little, would we?” It didn’t sound like she wanted to discuss it further, so I just accepted her answer for now and stood up.

I decided to check out the confectionery table Pinkie had set up with the others. Of course, it was no surprise when she appeared at the table right when I was about to take a bite of a cupcake.

"So what do you think? I didn't know what you eat so I made a little of everything." I couldn't blame her for jumping the shark; I did the same thing whenever I made something.

"I haven't even taken a bite yet, hold on." Hmm, vanilla, egg, good sugar level. Icing is too sweet, but what icing isn’t? Is that? Yes~ Pudding~ "Well Pinkie, you want to know what I think?"

"Yes!"

"Are you sure?"

"Abso-positively!"

What? Eh, whatever, it's too good to keep this going. "It's delicious. I can taste a bit of vanilla pudding in this, too."

"Really?! You can taste it? Ohmygosh nopony can ever tell! How did you know? It's supposed to be a secret."

"Relax, Pinkie. I'm really good at breaking down food flavors, is all. I do the same thing, it really adds to the richness of vanilla."

This led into a big conversation about baking and mixing flavors. It was mostly Pinkie talking, with me agreeing or disagreeing to different mixes. Applejack came over at one point, but without knowing too much about apples, I couldn't contribute anymore. I left the baker and farmer to talk and found Twilight talking with Dash.

"-just do it, Rainbow."

"Argh, fine, but I still think he's trouble."

"Hey, you two. Don't mean to interrupt, but I'd like to talk to Twilight."

Both girls turned to me. "Oh, hello, Dex. We were just talking about you. I believe Rainbow had something to say." Twilight attempted to nudge the pegasus without me noticing.

Dash started rubbing the back of her neck with a hoof. "Ugh, yeah, look, I'm so-"

"No,” I said, putting a hand up to stop her, “don't worry about it. I wasn't offended, and I said earlier that you did what you thought was right. There's nothing to apologize for."

"Hah! See Twilight? He's fine," Dash said before giving me a pensive glare. "I still don't trust you, but I'll give you a chance. You aren't so bad." At this, Dash walked off towards Fluttershy and Rarity.

"Oookay... Anyway, Twilight, I need to talk to you about what's going on. I'm sure you have more questions for me, and I'll be happy to provide answers, but I have no idea what happened to get me here."

"Well, the party seems to be winding down a bit, so I'll see if Pinkie wants to wrap this up. We'll talk then, okay?"

I agreed and let the party pass. Rarity, Applejack, and Fluttershy headed out first; they had to get up early for some work. Pinkie headed out after packing up the party supplies. It was just Dash, Twilight and me. Before I could wonder why Rainbow had stayed behind, she flew up to me.

"I'm going, but you better not do anything to Twilight. I'll be watching you." She said farewell to Twilight and headed out, but not before giving me one more look.

Twilight closed the door behind Dash, pulled out a notebook, and sat down. "All right Dex, shall we begin?"

All right, I'm finally alone with Twilight. Should I get her questions out of the way first or mine? I couldn't decide how the conversation should go. Twilight caught on though.

"Dex, take a seat or something. Just relax. I'd like to get my own questions out of the way first; it might shed some light on your own predicament."

"All right, ask away." I sat on the couch again to avoid making anything else dirty.

"Is there anything you remember before waking up in the field outside Ponyville?"

“Just like any other day. Once I got tired, I laid down and fell asleep.”

She wrote down a few notes that I couldn’t see. It was at this point, I realized something strange. “Hey, Twilight, where’s Spike?”

“I had him head upstairs before you arrived,” she responded offhandedly before perking up. “Wait, how do you know about Spike?” Well that was smart.

“Um... Pinkie.” God, I hate lying, but I don’t know how they’ll react.

“Pinkie told you?”

“Over cupcakes. We were talking about different mixes for them and she mentioned the Cakes making one with sapphires in it for Spike.”

“Ah, yes. His birthday cupcake.” She paused as if she was reminiscing. “Anyway, like I said, he’s upstairs. If you want to meet him...”

“That would probably be a good idea, since I assume I’m staying here and I’d like to avoid a confrontation later.”

Twilight jumped in realization. “Oh! Right! I’m sorry, but I don’t have the spare bedroom ready.” She looked a bit nervous as she looked at the couch I was sitting on. “Do you mind sleeping there?”

“It’s no trouble, Twilight. I did kinda barge into your home unannounced.”

“It’s all right; you didn’t get much say in the matter. Let me get Spike.”

As Twilight ascended the stairs, I took a moment to get more comfortable. Well, it’s better than nothing, and these ponies are being exceptionally nice. Either they’ve learned their lesson from Zecora or they just matured.

The purple unicorn came back down the stairs with a tired looking dragon trailing behind. As Spike reached the landing, he looked up to me. He jumped just as the others did and stomped up to me.

“What are you doing here?” he said in an irritated tone. Huh?

“Huh?” Twilight and I said. “Spike, I just told you. What’s wrong?” she continued.

He seemed to snap out of whatever mood he was in and shook his head. “Ah, sorry, still waking up. I meant, why are you here?”

“Aw man, I woke you up? I’m sorry, I just wanted to get introductions out of the way so you wouldn’t attack me in the morning. I’m here because Twilight is allowing me the use of her couch as a bed tonight.”

“No, here here. Why are you in Equestria?” What is he going on about?

“I’m not sure, I just woke up outside of town this morning.”

“Right. Well, I’m Spike.” Sudden 180?

“I’m Dex. Sorry for waking you up.”

“It’s fine, it was just a nap anyway.” He turned to Twilight, looking just as bewildered as I was. “I’m going back to bed. Have fun with the human.” We were silent as he headed back up the stairs and closed the door behind him when he entered their bedroom.

“...”

“...”

“What was that about?” I said.

“No idea,” she responded.

“Right...”

“...”

I shook myself out of my stupor. “Should we continue?”

"All right.” Twilight settled down at her desk and levitated a quill. She seemed to have written off the whole encounter as Spike being tired. “Now, why do you cover yourself with that blanket?"

Wow, right into that. Okay, I can deal. I held out an arm. "As you can see, humans don't have much hair on their bodies. We use clothes to stay warm. After a few centuries, we started covering ourselves out of modesty as well. Our...” I paused in slight embarrassment. “Well, our gender isn't easily hidden like ponies."

Twilight didn't seem too affected by this. Aw, I was kinda hoping for a light blush or something. She really is a scientist first. After writing some notes down, she continued her questioning.

"Tell me more about where you're from."

Another doozy. "I come from a planet called Earth. It's in the Sol system in the Milky Way Galaxy. The only sapient creature there is humans. Some would say dolphins, but I haven't met a dolphin yet that could talk to me. We are the only creature to build cities, develop trade, and expand. Because of this expansion, we are fractured. Humans fight and go to war over what little resources exist and difference of opinion. It's quite sad, but there is good in us. Those that aren't greedy, or in politics, generally are good natured and will help who they can. Also, instead of magic, we have technology. We have managed to venture into space and communicate across the globe."

That got a reaction. Twilight was staring at me in shock. "War? The only developed species? No magic? How... What... Wow. I can't imagine it."

"Most humans aren't affected by the wars, thankfully. Secondly, although some say there was magic in the early days of our civilization, there's no evidence to prove it. What you can do with magic, we can do with technology for the most part."

"I'll have to see that, but what was that about a 'galaxy' and 'Sol system?'"

"Hmm, let's put that on hold for now. I'd like to know if you know anything about what happened to me."

"I'm really sorry, but I don't. You say you went to sleep and woke up here. I really can't think of anything that could do that. I can send a letter to Princess Celestia tomorrow, if it helps?"

Okay, don't screw this up. Do I say yes or do I say I don't know who that is? Umm... "Yes, thank you." Well, that answers that.

"You don't know who she is, do you?"

Crap! "No, but if she's a princess, she must know more, right?" Ignore the fact that princesses know less than the common man on Earth. Yes...

"She, along with Princess Luna, raises and lowers the sun and moon, respectively. They are immortal goddesses who rule Equestria in peace and harmony."

"Ah. That's good to know. I'll be sure to give them proper respects if I meet them, then."

"Oh, I'm sure Princess Celestia will want to meet you."

We stayed up for a few hours and diverged into an 'ask one, answer one' discussion.

"You can warp space?" How did we get on the topic of teleportation? I already knew she could.

"Oh no, it's not so complicated as that!" Twilight said happily, before turning to look out window. "Oh, it's really late. As much as I'd like to keep this up, maybe it's best to go to bed. We completely went off the original subject."

“Sounds like a plan. I hope I don’t permanently stain this couch though."

"Oh, don't worry about that old couch. The dirt will come out easily enough. Don't you want to get cleaned up though?"

"That's a good idea but there's only one problem: I don't have any clothes, remember?"

"I have a spare blanket you can use like that one. Let's get you cleaned up. Tomorrow we have a lot to do."

Indeed we do. Twilight stood and motioned for me to follow. She led me to the bathroom and handed me a blanket. I thanked her and told her not to wait up for me.

The bathroom wasn't all that large. Then again, for the average pony, it didn't need to be. I was surprised to see both a bathtub and a shower head though. Well, a shower in a not so fictional Equestria. Might as well get this over with. I hate using someone else's bathroom. I quickly showered and dried myself. The tub took the dirt well, so I quickly rinsed it out before wrapping myself in Twilight's spare blanket. Against my better judgement, I didn't put my boxers back on. Now, I need to clean these up, hopefully tomorrow morning.

I brought the dirty comforter and boxers back with me to the couch. The last thing I need is someone doing my laundry for me. After laying down and finding the best way to keep the blanket from opening while I slept, I closed my eyes.

All right, to reiterate, I am in Equestria. I am sleeping on Twilight's couch. Side note: I was totally right that they were around four feet tall. Twilight didn't know anything and, being Celestia's student, may mean that the princess can't help me either. Well, if I'm stuck here, I guess I'll make the best of it. I wonder how long it will take my family to find out I'm missing? Or maybe I really am in a coma? Ah man, just thinking about that makes me feel bad. If I’m in a coma, they will keep me in a hospital for a time, and if I don't wake up, I'm sure they'll let me die. I may not have much time here. If I'm missing, they're going to go crazy. If I make it back, everything may have changed. So I either have to make it back within the week or I'm staying here... or maybe not. Well, I just have to ignore it for now. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep.

Without my fan, every noise was amplified. The silence felt like it was swallowing me into the darkness with the white noise, that I was so used to, missing. Even without thinking, it took me awhile to fall asleep.

Errands

I woke up to the smell of breakfast. It wasn't the greasy smell of meat cooking, but there were eggs. I was up and heading towards the smell in an instant. I didn't get far before smacking my foot right into the corner of the couch. As I lifted my foot, I lost my balance and flopped back onto the seat. Ack! How is it that I get by yesterday without running into something and hit something today? I really need to get some glasses.

After massaging my toes, I got up again and gave the couch a wide berth. It surprised me that Twilight's blanket was still holding, but when I passed by a window I had a better question. If it's morning now, and it had to have been near morning yesterday, how long is an Equestrian day? Did time go by quickly and I woke up later than I thought or are there really less hours in a day here? I studied the library's foyer, hoping to find some sort of timepiece. All right, this is a library. Surely there's a clock or something! Against all logic, I could not find one. Then again, it didn’t help that I couldn’t see more than a foot in front of me anyway.

I put the thought of time behind me for the moment as breakfast called to me like a siren and there was no way I could refuse. I should have known, then, that the food would not be what I was hoping for. After stumbling my way towards the kitchen nook, I saw Spike manning a small gas stove. What brought a chuckle to my face was the fact that he was using a stool to reach it. Luckily, he didn't catch it and waved me to the table.

"Mornin’," I said as I sat down. "What you cookin’?"

"Eggs and pancakes. Figured I should make something other than our usual breakfast of oats. You do eat them, right?"

"The eggs and pancakes, or the oats? Either way, yeah, I do. I only have one question: what did you put in the pancakes?" The table in front of me had a plate stacked with pancakes and another with over-easy eggs. I had to applaud Spike for being able to make eggs like that; they always broke on me. Although the eggs looked great, the pancakes had a different color than I was used to. Maybe they use whole wheat? Oh no, if they use hay...

"Just the usual. Hay, water..."

I tuned him out. Hay... It had to be hay. Why can't they make flour pancakes? Do I try one or just tell him I can't? "Uh, Spike?"

"Yeah?"

"Humans can't eat hay. I can try one, but I'm not sure what would happen. Do you make pancakes with flour?"

"Well, yeah, I can. I'm sorry, I thought you could eat anything we could."

"It's fine, Spike. Don't trouble yourself with making those pancakes for me. I'll try one of these and I'll definitely enjoy the eggs."

"That's good. I don't have much left to make more. Twilight should be down shortly." Spike must’ve been psychic, because, not five seconds after he spoke, Twilight walked in.

"Morning, Spike. Morning, Dex. Pancakes and eggs today, huh?"

"Morning, Twilight. With our guest here, I thought we'd go a little overboard." Unlike with me, Spike turned to greet Twilight. I couldn't think of anything as to why he was acting so stiff towards me.

"Morning, Twilight. What’s on the agenda?" Being in another’s home was keeping me on edge, not that I wanted to be, as I would naturally keep myself from relaxing.

"There's a lot to do, so let’s review to save time," Twilight said as she levitated a few pancakes and eggs to her plate.

"I'll leave the planning up to you, if that's okay, Twilight. I always fail at planning around time." I gave a brief chuckle and reached for a pancake. Spike seated himself and watched me. Either he's keeping an eye on me or he wants to know what I think of the pancake. Either way, that's creepy...

"Well, right now we need to get you some clothes, a pair of glasses, and then talk to the princess. What else is needed?" From the looks of things, Twilight was trying to hurry through her meal.

I guess I shouldn't take my time. "That’s all I can think of." I took a bite of my eggs, relishing in the taste.

"I think we can handle everything, then. Depending on how things go with Rarity, we'll stop by the hospital before or after lunch."

Hospital? "Why the hospital? Are all your doctors in one building?"

"For the most part, yes. There are a few specialists, but they are in the cities. Is it not the same where you come from?"

"For us, the hospital is normally for critical patients. A few specialists that need the hospital equipment work there, but we'd normally go to a different building for each type of doctor."

"That doesn't seem very efficient."

"It is and it isn't. Although we could talk more about this, I'd like to continue with planning the day." By this point, Twilight was nearly done. I finally mustered the courage to try a pancake. It was... interesting.

"About time you tried it!" Spike said, finally putting a word in.

"What now? Dex, do you not eat pancakes?" Twilight looked concerned that I may have just poisoned myself.

Ugh... okay, don't spit it out. The syrup is definitely helping. The hay! Jeez, even when ground up I can taste it. I choked the bite down and drank what water there was from my glass before speaking. "It's okay, Twilight. Humans just don't eat hay. At least I tried, right?” I said, trying to give a smile. “And Spike? Definitely going with flour next time."

"Yeah! At least you tried it. You still got eggs at least." Spike was trying to stifle his laughter.

"...Right. Well. What else did you need?" Twilight didn't follow, but she did lead the conversation back on track.

"Um... Oh yeah, where do I clean my clothes? Is it a washboard or something?"

"I'm sure Spike can handle it, right Spike?" She turned to look at Spike and his expression was unreadable.

"No!" My outburst startled them. "No, I'd like to do it. I'd like to get my boxers cleaned before we head out."

"Boxers? What are those?"

"Um~ they~ are like shorts, that you wear under your normal clothes."

"All right. If that's all that needs to be done, we can get started." Twilight accepted it without issue and we finished up our meal.

Spike led me to the washroom while Twilight set up a plan and whatever else she does in the morning. I managed to get my boxers washed and dried with the help of the little dragon. It's a good thing he can make fire. Drying these would've taken too long. After getting dressed, in a sense, Twilight and I headed out. Spike said he'd handle the library while we took care of everything and it was about that time that I thought of payment.

Twilight caught on before I could say a word. She assured me that it would be taken care of and not to worry. This, of course, made me worry anyway. Now I have to pay her back as well. Food, shelter, clothes, and glasses? It's too much. Thankfully, my thoughts weren't written on my face that time. I thanked her and we went on our way to Carousel Boutique.

With Twilight leading the way, we made it to the boutique in short time. Again, just like the show, the building looked identical as far as I could tell. This is just uncanny. It's like someone was here before and then went back to make the show! We entered and a bell rang from above the door. As I attempted to look around, Rarity emerged from a back room.

Now that I had washed off and was in something that wasn't covered in dirt, Rarity seemed much happier to see me. After a little conversation and some quick measurements, Twilight and I were on our way. Rarity assured me something would be ready by lunch. As surprising as it was for her to work that fast, I summed it up to magic. Ah, a place where I can actually say, 'It's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit!' Too bad I can't say that about myself.

It was still early in the day when we left Rarity's. If this was going with the plan or not, Twilight didn't show it. "All right Dex, let's get you some glasses," she said.

"Awesome. I can't wait to actually see everything. Speaking of which, what was with everyone yesterday?"

She fidgeted, as if she knew what I was leading into. “What do you mean?"

"I mentioned this yesterday as well. Y'all've never seen a human before, but everyone acted pretty calm once introductions were over.”

Twilight stopped and sighed. When she looked at me it was like she was seeing someone else. “A while ago, we met a zebra in town and the others immediately judged her by appearances. When we followed her into the woods she lives in, we were unaware of being poisoned with a plant. After a few incidents, we ended up at her house claiming she had cursed us. Eventually, we managed to settle everypony’s differences and get cured. Now, they give everyone a chance to prove themselves before making any serious judgements.” Except Rainbow Dash it seems.

We continued towards the hospital when she was done and I didn't say anything more about their reactions. It took the rest of the morning for me to see an eye doctor and get glasses. Surprisingly enough, my eyes weren't that different from a pony's; they even had glasses that fit my head for some reason. Payment was processed and we stepped outside.

Everything was clear. I could see that Twilight came up to the bottom of my chest, with her head at chest height. If I thought the library and boutique were uncanny, I had no words for what I saw now. Everything, from the buildings to the ponies, were identical to the show. If I needed anything to prove I was in a coma and dreaming this up, what I saw then would definitely be in the 'for' column. After admiring the view for a while longer, Twilight and I ended up back at the Carousel Boutique.

I'm not sure how, but just from the few measurements she took, Rarity somehow knew I'd like loose fitting clothes. In the three hours we were gone, she managed to make me two shirts, a pair of jeans, and another pair of boxers, much to my dismay. Although I needed them, there was a huge difference between getting them from a store and seeing the person that made them. It was like they knew. I went behind a screen and put on the clothes. The shirt felt like pure cotton and the jeans were definitely denim. I get the cotton, but how did she get denim? I don't recall ever seeing it in the show. No matter. I can see how she did this so fast though. She knew I needed them so she went with function only. Thank God for that. I stepped back around the screen and walked over to Rarity.

“Rarity, I really need to thank you. If there’s anything I can do to repay you, just let me know. These clothes are wonderful.”

She smiled. “Think nothing of it, darling. I said I would make you something and I did. If you really want to repay me, though, come back sometime so I can make you some real, fashionable clothing.” To keep my conscience clean, I told her I would. After saying our goodbyes, Twilight and I headed to Sugarcube Corner.

"Twilight, I really can't thank you enough for all this. I will pay you back somehow, and I won't take no for an answer."

"Who said you wouldn't pay me back?" Twilight turned to me with a smirk. It felt like one of those smirks that meant I was going to regret it. "You still haven't told me everything about you and your world. Maybe a few experiments will be enough."

Oh God no! I ran. I knew I couldn't hide from Twilight, but I could get some time! I hurried into Sugarcube Corner and went into the kitchen. As I leaned against one of the walls, I thought about what I just did. Okay, I'm an idiot. We were already headed here and one of her friends works her. I even ran into the kitchen! Only employees are supposed to be back here! Yeah, I'm going to get in trouble.

"Hey Dex-Wex!" Oh joy~. "What are you doing in the kitchen? Did you want to help me make some yum yum yummy confections?!" Oookay. Kinda surprised she knew that word. And hell, why not.

"Sure thing, Pinkie. Oh, and if Twilight shows up, can you say I'm not here?"

"Why would you do that?” She gasped in what I could only imagine was mock realization. “Are you playing hide and seek?"

Yeah, let's go with that. "Not exactly, Pinkie. She said something about experiments." Really?! Mouth, seriously, stop it.

"Oh, I know what you mean. Twilight can get so caught up in her experiments. Don't you worry, Auntie Pinkie Pie has your back! Well, not really, because that woul-"

Okay, I'll just stay back here for a bit and help make cakes and cookies. Just as long as Twilight doesn't come back here to ask Pi-

"Pinkie! Have you seen Dex around?" As soon as she said this, her head popped through the kitchen doorway. She saw me next to Pinkie and frowned. "Dex! What are you doing back here? I was joking!"

"Eheh, yeah, joking. I knew that. I'm, ahhh, going to help Pinkie bake. To~ help pay for lunch! Yeah!" She is not going to believe me.

"I told you, it's fine. Get out here so we can eat. If you really want to do that, you can after lunch. I still have to write that letter to Celestia anyway."

I agreed and followed her out. During the conversation, Pinkie was still on her rant about... something. As soon as the doors swung back, Pinkie yelled out.

"Okay! I'll see you after lunch, Dex!" She's just so carefree ain't she?

Lunch wasn't all that healthy. The closest thing they had was a strawberry filled croissant thing. There were so many sugar-based foods that it was a good thing I didn't care about my health right then. Twilight and I didn't talk about much and ended up back on the subject of space.

"Now that we have some time, what was that about Sol and galaxies?"

Is it sad that's pretty much all I know? "I don't know much more about it, honestly. My planet, and others, revolve around the sun. That group of planets, with the sun, revolves around a black hole that created a galaxy called the Milky Way."

"The planet revolves around the sun? When I told you the princess controls the sun, you didn't say anything."

Crapcrapcrapcrapcrap! "Uh, well, just because my planet revolves around the sun doesn't mean yours does. Sure, it goes against basic physics, but you guys have magic. Anything is possible." Aw man, I just had to throw that physics line in there.

"You seem very open minded about this." Twilight's suspicious tone switched to one of curiosity suddenly. "What was that you said about physics?"

Bail out! "I know some basic laws of physics, but I'm not an expert. We could talk all day about science, but I think I should go help Pinkie." I glanced towards the kitchen, hoping she’d drop the subject.

She sighed. "Yes, you're right. I have to let Celestia know about you as well. I'm heading back. Do you know the way?"

"Sure do. With my eyesight normal again, I won't have any problems. I'll see you in a few hours, okay?"

Twilight stood and walked to the door. "Okay, have fun paying for lunch!" With that, she ran out giggling.

I have no idea why, but I get the feeling that it won't be as easy as I'd hoped.

The universe hates me. Baking with Pinkie really wasn't as easy as I had thought. By the time I left Sugarcube Corner, I was covered in flour, dough, and cake batter. Pinkie had somehow managed to make a biscuit-cake. It truly was an abomination. You'd think biscuit-cake would mean a muffin, but nooo. It was a cake, inside a biscuit. How she did it I’d never know as when I tried to copy it, the thing exploded as soon as I opened the oven to check it. Other than that fiasco, I had spent the past hour and a half making cupcakes, cookies, and other assorted baked goods.

When I returned to the library, I saw Twilight reading. I told her I was going to get cleaned up and she responded with an 'uh huh' without looking away from her book. Another quick shower and clean clothes later, I looked in the mirror.

I didn't look that much different from normal. My beard was still growing in, just as red tinted as always, and my hair was as thin and dark blonde as before. The higher color contrast did make my eyes more blue than silver, however. Satisfied that I hadn't changed, I headed back to Twilight. She didn't look good.

She was holding a scroll in her magic and she turned to me when she heard me coming. It looked like some color had drained from her face and a look of slight shock was etched upon it.

"What's up? You look like you've seen a ghost,” I said as I ran my hand through my hair in an attempt to comb it back.

Twilight snapped out of whatever she was thinking about and hid the scroll behind her back. "Oh, uh, nothing. Everything's fine. No worries." She was stammering through her speech.

"Okay~. Was that from Celestia? Does she know what's going on?" If it is, this isn't looking good for me.

"Um, yeah. She uh, she wants to see you. She is sending another letter and a chariot when she is available." I couldn't tell what she was hiding from me. Her mannerisms did say there was more to it, but I didn't want to push too much.

"...All right. Did she say anything about how long it would be?"

"Right now, I would say." Twilight and I spun around to the new voice. On the upstairs loft of the library, stood Celestia.

"Princess Celestia?!" we said in unison.

Real answers

The regal alicorn stood tall on the library loft. Looking upon her was like staring into the sun itself. I knelt before her. Any more time looking at her would have surely burnt my eyes. I heard Celestia land on the first floor and Twilight's hooves running over.

"Princess!" I heard Twilight's voice. Whatever nervousness she felt after reading the letter was lost now.

"My faithful student. It is nice to see you; however, I wish it was under better circumstances." Her voice was as melodic as it was powerful. I couldn't tell whether I wanted to praise her or bow to her will. "Human, rise so that I may see your face."

I did as told. Although I had permission, I didn't look into her eyes. "Yes? Your Majesty?" Oh great. That pause is going to bite me in the ass.

Celestia studied my features for some time. Just as I was about to make some snide remark, she spoke. "You do not look as dangerous as the others. I thought with his magic, it would bring a stronger human." She spoke the word 'his' with spite. "Just as well, I can't leave you here."

"Princess, what's going on? Your letter didn't say much." Twilight beat me to it. At this point, I thought it would be best to stay silent.

Her Royal Highness, Goddess of the Sun and ruler of Equestria, sighed. "Twilight Sparkle, what I say here must not leave the room. You are not to repeat it to anypony, including your friends, until I deem it necessary." She turned to watch Twilight's response. This is NOT good.

"Of course, Princess. I will not say a word about this to anypony."

Satisfied, Celestia turned back to me. She didn't want me out of her sight for long, I wagered. "Very well. When the Elements of Harmony imprisoned Discord, it seems some of his power was left free. That power, pure chaotic magic, coalesced where he was imprisoned and pulled this human here. I know not what his purpose is, or whether he is an agent of Discord, but I can not allow him free reign." Either I'm really here or my imagination is insane!

We were silent for a time. Twilight was shocked, apparently by the Elements not working completely. I remained standing with my thoughts running around in my head. Celestia continued to watch me, eyes somewhere between a glare and a studious squint. I still did not want to look her directly in the eyes, so I dared to turn around and sit at the couch. I'll respect you, Celestia, but don't expect me to just stand there and let you stare at me. Either imprison me or guard me, I don't care. I set my head in my hands, elbows on my knees.

"But Princess, he's been with me the whole time; he behaves himself!" Is Twilight sticking up for me?

"Be that as it may, he is just too much of an unknown. Discord could control him or he could be acting." If Celestia was bothered by my walking off, she didn't sound it.

"I see. Princess, you said something about a stronger human? What do you mean?" Good question.

"Yes, I have seen humans before. The mirror in my room can see into other dimensions. They are a violent and chaotic race. When I felt Discord's magic, I was sure it was a human. The fact that this one doesn't seem violent at all confuses me, however." I could feel her eyes boring into my skull. "I will take him with me and find out if he is truly a threat." Oh boy! I get to go to a castle! Yay~! ...I'll probably only see the inside of a cell...

"Of course Princess. I will help you however I can." Twilight said. Her enthusiasm for pleasing Celestia was commendable.

"I'm glad you feel that way Twilight. I would like you to stay here and report any other strange happenings. It is difficult to feel chaotic magic and I am unsure if it is gone."

"I will do all I can, Princess"

"I would expect nothing less, my faithful student." Celestia's voice was joyful then. When she next spoke, it was with command. "Dex, you will return with me to the castle. You will be held in a guest room under heavy guard until I can speak with you fully." She magicked open the library door to reveal a squad of guards. "Return to the castle at once. I will be there shortly with the human." The guards saluted and flew off.

I gave Twilight a quick 'goodbye' before joining Celestia at the door. Her horn lit up and we were on our way.

The mind cannot handle quick changes in scenery. Our spatial awareness updates constantly so we know where we are. Because of this, it was no surprise that, when we winked into the castle, I fell to the floor and held my pounding head.

After what felt like hours, my headache subsided. When I stood, I found myself in a bedroom. A standard four-poster bed and nightstand sat along the wall to the right with a dresser to the left. There was a single window and a picture of Canterlot mountain on the wall behind me. Spartan, but I'm not exactly a guest. Maybe this is like a workman's room?

"This is where you will stay. We are too far up for you to escape the window and I will have guards posted outside the door. I give you this small amount of trust, do not squander it."

"Yes Celestia. I will be good." Holy crap mouth! No ma'am, majesty or anything? The sarcasm wasn't smart either! Ugh, why do I put up with you?

She turned to me with a glare. "Do not tempt me human. I could have you in a cell."

I made sure to think about my answer this time. "Of course, Your Majesty. I'm sorry, sometimes my mouth gets ahead of me. If I may, I have a question."

Her face softened a bit, nowhere near the calm facade she shows normally though. "Certainly, Dex."

"Is there a way for me to return to my world?"

This got her to look apologetic. I almost have her to normal! "I am sorry, but you were brought here by chaotic magic. My magic is not very compatible with Discord's. The only way I know of right now is to get Discord to send you back. We will not risk him being free for one human."

Well, isn't that a downer. I couldn't speak. I was in a depressive slump after hearing that. Unconsciously, I went over and sat on the bed. Celestia looked like she really was sorry though, so I didn't feel completely like shit.

"I will let you rest. We will talk more tomorrow. Good night, and again, I am sorry."

"It's not your fault Princess. Good night." I slumped over the bed and laid there with my back to Celestia. I heard her walk out and close the door behind her. There were voices beyond it, but I couldn't distinguish words. Before long, all was quiet. I was alone with my thoughts.

I can't go home. Even with everything looking so similar, this is looking more and more like reality. What am I going to do? I'll talk with Celestia tomorrow; maybe I can get in contact with my family? That dimensional mirror should work. And if I'm stuck here, how will I live? Maybe Celestia will let me train with the guards? Or maybe I'll build things. ARGH! Just, shut up. I'll deal with this shit tomorrow. I always end up thinking about stuff that I have no control over or have not enough data to make a decision. It's a new life, just let it happen this time.

...For now.

Meeting with a princess

I woke up drowsy. My night was plagued by nightmares and worries. Sleeping in my clothes didn't help matters either. The only thing making me get up was the desire for answers. After stretching, I walked to the door and opened it a crack.

There were four guards looking back at me. With two across the hallway and one on either side of the door, I realized I really wouldn't get out on my own. Celestia was serious when she said ‘heavy guard!’

"Did you need something, human?" the one on the left of the door said.

"Yeah, um... Could I get breakfast?" These guys are really creepy. Identical white coat and eyes. They aren't even blinking!

"The princess has ordered us not to give you hay or silverware." Huh, so she already knows I can't eat hay. No silverware makes sense. Hmm...

"Could I get a blueberry muffin and some milk? If it's not too much trouble, that is."

"Of course. You will meet with Her Royal Highness afterwards." This time the one on the right, across the hall, spoke. He nodded to the two at the door and walked off. I assumed he was going to the kitchens or to tell a steward.

"Right, uhh, I'm going back in now... Just, come in when you need to." I shut the door and leaned against the opposing wall. Jeez, I haven't felt such oppressing aura since my father.

A few moments later, a guard entered with a steward, a tray in his mouth. The server set the tray down on the dresser, nodded to me, and left. The guard watched as I ate and told me to follow him. We exited the room and the other three guards completed a circle around me. As we headed down the hallway, I saw the steward re-enter the room.

I've never been in a working castle before. The floor was made of shimmering tiles with bright white walls and ceiling. Whenever we would reach, what I assumed to be, a main hallway, there was a beautiful red carpet laid down. So, as long as I follow the carpeted halls, I can get around huh? Smart. Before I could contemplate more of the castle's design, I was brought to a grand oak door. The guard at the front opened the door and headed through while the two on my sides stood at the door and the rear guard followed me.

This room was much larger than the bedroom I stayed at. There was a medium built oak table that looked to seat about six. Banners of Celestia's sun and Luna's moon adorned the walls.

"Her Majesty will meet you here. Do not make any sudden moves when she arrives." Yeah, because that's exactly what I want to do. Maybe I'll run up to her and dance? Everyone is so stiff here.

I took a seat at the far end of the table so I could watch the guards and door. Be smart now, stand, bow, greet, wait to be told to sit. I repeated this over and over until Celestia entered. Just as before, I could not look her in the eyes. I quickly stood and bowed.

"Princess Celestia. Good morning to you. I hope you slept well?" Shit, I think I was supposed to let her speak first.

If I was going against protocol, neither the guards nor Celestia showed it. "A good morning to you as well, Dex. How I slept is of no concern. Let us begin."

So... what? Should I start spouting the first thing that comes to mind or are you going to give me something to work with? The silence started to stretch into uncomfortable levels. "Princess, if you could give me a topic first, I'd be able to help you."

"Of course. Let us start with you telling me who you are and what you plan on doing." Is it just me or is she distracted?

"Right. Yes. Well, my name is Dex and I'm a human from Earth. Of course, you already know this much, but I like to start at the beginning."

"Tell me everything you can. Don't leave anything out that you think might hurt you or help you. I may seem strict but I am very fair." Yes, because you told me this, I'll believe it right?

Hehe, rapidfire info time. "Twenty-four years old. Male. Unemployed, but jack of all trades. Lived on a farm before... this... happened. Two siblings, mother, and stepfather. Raised to respect everyone. No lying, stealing, or assaulting living and nonliving alike. That about sums me up."

Celestia seemed to be contemplating everything I've said and done. "That will do for who you are, but what are you going to do?"

I have no idea. "After last night? I've nearly given up ever getting home. I don't know what I'm going to do or how I'm going to do it. I was hoping you would have some ideas."

"While I cannot tell you what to do with your life, I can give you some time. Is there anything you wish to discuss before I make a decision?"

"If it isn't presumptuous of me, does your mirror work for others?" I had a bit of hope in my voice.

Celestia frowned at this. "You cannot use my mirror. I know what you wanted to use it for and it cannot be done." Her face changed into a comforting one. "I truly am sorry, Dex, but you have no way home and no way to contact your family at this time. Luna and myself are busy and can only offer a few minutes of our time to research an answer."

There goes that idea. "Sure, thanks Celestia. Is there anything else?"

"That will be all." She paused for a time. When she spoke, it felt like all of the authority of Equestria was used. "I have come to a decision." Well, if all I had to do was say who I was, she either knows what she's doing or an idiot. "You will be escorted by guards wherever you go. You will be expected to accept when they prevent you from entering certain areas. As of this moment, you have permission to walk the castle. Areas available are the guest room, kitchen, and portions of the gardens."

Fair...but what am I going to do? I still don't like not seeing my family though. "Thank you. If I come up with anything, how will I contact you?"

"The guards will decide what is best. I will give them instructions. If I find anything that could help you, I will send word." Her calm voice returned. "Be safe, Dex. I will see you around the castle, I'm sure." Before she could leave, I had an idea.

"Celestia, wait!" The guards stiffened at my outburst. She turned around to face me again.

"Yes, Dex?" My constant informal speech didn't change her outward appearance at all.

"I had an idea: could I be allowed access to the guard's training grounds?" At least then, I could get some frustration out.

She looked to the guards on either side of her, then to me. "I don't see why not. Do not disturb them unless they allow it. I will send word." This time, she made it out of the room and turned down the hall. Two guards followed after her.

"Thank you!" I hoped she heard me and then looked at the guards remaining. "So you two will be following me everywhere I go huh?" They didn't say a word.

Brewing storm

Fine, don't respond. I'll get you two talking soon enough.

If the guards were going to ignore everything I say, I was going to forget they were there. With that in mind, I leisurely strolled out of the room and took a left. Celestia didn't give me any directions so I decided to wander the halls.

I spent the next two hours blindly following the carpeted halls. Occasionally, I would open a door to see what was inside. By the time my stomach demanded sustenance, I had found the dining hall. It didn't take a genius to know that the kitchens were through the door within.

To say the royal kitchens were large would have been an understatement. I've never seen a kitchen filled with so much stuff. Three large coolers lined the leftmost wall and five ovens commanded the right. A large preparation island stood between them. Pantries stocked with everything from potatoes to zucchini were filled at the back wall. I must have come during a lull because there was only a single cook present.

Heheheh, time to cook! "Hey there!"

The chef jumped at my voice. "What are you doing back here human?! Only cooks are allowed! Leave at once!"

"Woah, dude, chill. Celestia said I could use the kitchens. I don't want to bother you with my odd eating habits, so can I just-"

"No! This is my kitchen. I won't allow some talentless human to rummage through my workplace."

That hurt. I know what I'm doing. "Aw, come on! I know what to do. I'll clean up when I'm done, honest."

"...All right, but just this once! After this, you go through the stewards." Eeexcellent...

I began rummaging through cupboards. After getting the required silverware and cookware, I really got into it. Eggs went into a pot of water to boil; lettuce, onions, and other assorted veggies were chopped and thrown into a large salad bowl; ingredients were mixed; and an oven was preheated. I managed to make the closest substitute to a chef's salad and more chocolate chip cookies than the displays at Sugarcube Corner could hold. Ah, it's good to cook. So calming. Hmm? The sou chef was looking at me like I was insane. Did I surprise him or is he in shock? Meh, eating now; clean later.

Even without salad dressing, I managed to eat everything in the bowl. Ugh, I know I have to go vegetarian here, but I really need some meat! I ate a couple cookies while cleaning up. By the time I was done, the tower of cookies were staring me down. What the hell am I going to do with these?

"Uh, guys? You want some cookies?" The chef shook himself out of whatever stump he was in and just walked off. My two stalkers just shook their heads. "Well, in that case, I think I'll send them to the princesses." I called a steward to bring the large tray of cookies to wherever Celestia was and left the kitchen. As the door slowly closed behind me, the steward could be seen gawking at my creations. Either she'll love them, or think I'm insane for making so much. Then again, she might think I'm trying to do something.

My wanderings paid off in the end. It only took me an hour to find the guard's training grounds. Jeez, why does this castle have to be so BIG? I feel like I could get fit just going to the dining room for every meal! The grounds were as simple as they were grandiose. A central building spoke of its importance while scattered around were guards swinging mouth held swords and hoof held spears at practice dummies. Dust billowed from wherever a hoof stepped as grass was only seen along the walls. Other than the entrance I used from the castle, there was a large portcullis was set into the right wall. At this time, it was open.

Assuming the captain or whoever led these grounds would want to see me, my first stop was the building. Upon arriving, I heard someone shout.

"So you're the human the princess was telling me about! About time you got here!" A large stallion walked out of a side room he had yelled from. How did he know I was here if he was in there? "So you think you can just waltz on in here and do as you please, huh?"

"Um, no... sir. I was just-"

"Ha ha ha! Don't be so stiff, mate! Call me Stone. Tell me, what did you come here for?" I got over my slight heart attack and looked him over. He was large, even bigger than my little stalkers. Although he wore the same armor as the others, his coat was grey with a red mane and tail. Pfft... I bet he looks ridiculous with that blue topped helmet on. I guess the smirk was showing. "What are you smiling at? Ah, I know. The helmets right?"

Well, honesty is the best policy right? "Yeah."

"Well, too bad for you then. I don't wear the standard issue helmet. But enough about that, you still haven't told me what you want."

"I received some bad news from the princess and I wanted to vent some frustrations out here."

"Look no further then. Just pick a dummy and start wailing on it. Be warned though, some of the ponies here like to spar. Something like you? I'm sure they would love a chance to try you out."

Shit. I'm no fighter! Still, this may be my one shot at learning. "Right. I’ll be wary. Thanks for the tip, Stone."

Stone's warning came true. After five minutes of throwing punches, a group of guards approached me. My followers were in it as well.

"Look, guys, as much as I want to, I'm a pacifist. Unless you get me really mad, I'm not going to fight back."

"Oh, but that's just it. We don't need you to fight back. We just want to know where to aim to get you down."

"Wha-" The wind was knocked out of me. Even my large chest couldn't hold up against over one hundred pound ponies ramming into it. I fell to my knees and attempted to regain some oxygen. I didn't get a chance as I was then bucked in the shoulders. I slid back on my knees and set my hands on the ground.

"Is that it? The princess had nothing to worry about. This weakling couldn't harm a fly!"

I stood. "Ah, but that's where you're wrong. I can, but I choose not to. A brute like you couldn't beat a wall. It takes more than strength to win." If I could see myself, I was sure I had a fire in my eyes. Every step I took towards him was carefully placed. Release. I charged. As he reared up, I sidestepped and slammed my knee into his side. Keep him down. I followed him to the ground and threw all I had into his jaw.

"Enough!" A stallion yelled and threw me off my opponent. "Guards, detain him!" The guards that had been following me since morning held me down. A few moments later, Stone stood over me. "Just what happened here!"

"He attacked; I finished the fight." I spoke calmly.

Things get worse

Life in the castle became interesting after my stunt with the guard. Between the cookies, which Celestia loved by the way, and the excuse for the fight, I was let off easy. I spent a day in my room with very little to eat or occupy my time. The next day, a schedule was made for me to follow.

Starting at the crack of dawn, I was led to the kitchen to help however the chefs needed me. I figured that I had impressed that cook from earlier. I was mostly assigned cleaning and preparation duties. Rarely did I get the chance to cook, and even then it was only for baking.

By noon, I would have lunch and be brought to the training grounds. I was told to exercise and train with the ponies there. It was hoped that I would control my anger easier by letting it out bit by bit. Because of my hatred of beans, I mostly ate eggs and broccoli for protein and iron.

Nightfall sent me back to the room. I was too tired to think most days and passed out quickly. The few days I had some downtime, I laid down with my thoughts. A lot of my musings were that of family or what few friends I had. Occasionally, I would think up what I wanted to do with myself.

This schedule continued for over two weeks. Over time, my muscles grew and my fat lessened. I never concerned myself with weight, but I assumed I lost ten pounds. That wasn't all that happened during that time though.

Strange things would happen at odd intervals. Sometimes, I would catch something out of the corner of my eye, only to turn and see nothing. Others, I would see an off-color cloud or floating object. Whenever I asked others about this, they waved it off as a trick of the eye. As much as I wanted to believe them, I had my doubts.

One night, as I lay awake in bed, I heard someone laughing. On another, something ran across my mirror. Something was going on, and I wanted to know what.

On the twentieth day of my stay at the castle, Twilight visited. I was called into the throne room to listen to her report. Celestia stood at her throne.

It was my first time in the throne room. Large windows that reached the ceiling twenty feet away were spaced along the walls. Most of these windows were of stained glass, depicting great moments in history. I spotted the two windows where the Elements of Harmony defeated Nightmare Moon and Discord. Chandeliers hung from archways in the ceiling and the red carpet that ran to the throne was immaculate. When Twilight entered, she did not look well.

"Princess, I have grave news!"

"Twilight Sparkle, please calm yourself. Tell me what has happened."

"Odd occurrences are spawning all over Ponyville. The worst part is where we sealed Discord!"

"Hmm, it seems you weren't just seeing things after all, Dex." About time someone figured it out. "I'm afraid we don't have much time. Bring the Element bearers here Twilight."

"Oh ho ho ho. I feel it's a little too late for that Celestia." A disembodied voice echoed throughout the chamber. That's obviously Discord. Planning on making another grand entrance?

"Discord! Show yourself at once!" The scowl on Celestia's face was quite interesting. Twilight looked shell shocked.

"Certainly, princess." After spitting that last word, Discord appeared. He looked quite well for being stone not ten minutes ago.

The princess quickly shot a beam of magical energy at him. He easily knocked it away.

"Tut tut tut. Come now, Celestia. What would a story be without letting the villain have his grand speech?" He snapped his clawed fingers and a bubble surrounded Celestia and Twilight. "Now, let me speak.

"You were a fool my dear. You knew about humans and how this one got here," he pointed his claw at me, "and yet you brought him to the castle, closer to me!"

"How did you do it Discord? The Elements sealed you from your power." Celestia really should shut up and let the man speak...

"You think I didn't have a backup plan? My chaos is far reaching! The" -he made air quotes- " 'Harmony Wave' couldn't reach far enough. It really is just too perfect. Not only did a human appear, he even gave himself a name!" Wait, what? "Dex, was it? Do you know how names work in Equestria? Of course not." Oy! I may not know but you don't gotta say it like I'm stupid! "You called yourself Dex! Factor of tens! The chaos you put off was increased so much faster when you said that." Celestia and Twilight looked at me then, expressions unreadable. What? No! He's lying to trip us up!

"You're lying. That's just too convenient!" I put up a fighting stance. "I may not have magic, but I will fight you."

"Ahh ha ha ha haaa! You?! You may give off chaotic energy, but you certainly can't use it. What do you hope to do?"

Distraction? Maybe the bubble will fall. "I won't know until I try!"

"Give it up Dex. How about this? Join me!"

Wow... really? He's going to use that line? "Hell no!"

"Come to the dark side, Dex. We have cookies!" Just then, a plate of cookies appeared in his lion paw.

.....what... "Tempting... but no. Your chaos may be fun, but it's too dangerous."

Discord snarled. "I brought you here! Just like you always wanted! Be happy and join me!"

"Dude, I didn't care one way or the other about coming here."

He sighed this time and turned to the bubble. "See, Celestia? This is why I don't grant wishes; they never appreciate it!" He then looked back at me. "In that case, have fun getting home!"

"What?" I was suddenly warped away.

I felt everything shift back into place as I landed on soft soil. My head immediately started pounding, trying to adjust its spatial awareness. Before it could pass, something bounced off my head. It was a sword and sheath. Attached, was a note:

Dear my little human, Dex:

Don't die. Can't have my trump card dying on me now can I? By the way, take this. It's dangerous to go alone. Tah-tah Brony!

Your pal,
Discord

P.S. U Mad?

"Yes I'm mad! You took me away from the fight you coward! ...And I'm not a Brony!" More words appeared on the note.

P.P.S. Denial isn’t just a river in Egypt you know.

...what...

Trololololol.

I crumpled the note up and threw it behind me. A small, squeaky voice spoke up.

"Noo~! I thought you loved me~!" Then I heard an explosion. ...what times two...

Discord, I have never wanted to punch someone so much as I do right now.

Journal

All right, enough thoughts of aggravated assault. Where the hell am I?

Trees surrounded me wherever I turned. Yearlings clung to whatever light they could get through the leafy canopy above. The occasional fern or bush made up most of the undergrowth.

A forest... lovely. With no clear destination, I threw a fallen branch into the air. When it landed, the thinner side of the branch pointed me towards my heading. I have no idea if he sent me back or what. At least this sword will come in handy. The weapon was a basic katana: light weight and a perfect balance at the guard. It had a standard black sheath and grip. After a few test swings, I tied it to my pants and started walking.

I came across a small clearing at some point. I cautiously reached the center and stabbed the sword's scabbard into the ground. Using the shadow created, I deduced my true heading, northeast. Now what? I have no idea how to find water or even food.

With the sun going down, I figured I should find some sort of shelter and worry about water later. Luck was on my side that evening, as I found a large burrow beneath a dying tree. After assuring it was clear of animals, I crawled in and attempted sleep.

Day 2:

I found a stream today. No food yet however. I've added branches and vines to the front of this hole. Hopefully, it will protect me from rain and wild animals better than nothing. I attempted to make a fire as well. The bow trick didn't work as well as I'd hoped. The vine I was using snapped just as smoke was beginning to rise. I did find some tree bark that works as a wonderful writing pad. The tip of the stick I was hoping to make fire with is acting as my pen right now. Tomorrow, I set out for some food. If I don't get some soon, I won't have the energy to continue.

Day 3:

Before I start, if anyone finds this, I'm sure they will be wondering why I settled down so early in my wanderings. I was always told that if you don't know where you are, stay put. I'm not sure if it will help me in this case, but at least I have what I need to survive.

I found food, for the most part. While walking along the stream, I came across a berry bush. I can't remember how berries are supposed to look, but I need something. Hopefully, it doesn't bite me in the ass later.

I also made fire today. I found a rock in the riverbed that, when stricken against my blade, sparks were produced. If all goes well, I might be able to eat something I know is edible.

Day 4:

I've started hearing things. I don't know if it was the berries or if Discord is still messing with me. Right now, they sound mechanical and like voices.

Somehow, no matter how many times I strike this rock on my sword, the blade never dulls. This was good though, as I used it to catch myself some meat. By some stroke of luck, I came across a deer bedding not far from here. I won't say what happened, other than it was bloodier than I had thought. I won't be able to eat it all before something finds it, so I took what I could and returned.

I found a hollow log today. I used it to funnel smoke across the meat. Just the smell made me want to eat immediately, but I know to ration what I have.

Day 8:

It's been a few days. The deer carcass was eaten when I returned the following day. Whatever is out there, it seems to be leaving me alone. I've been staying fed with what little I can find.

There have been more whispers. It can't be Discord as I have received a letter:

Dex, if you are reading this, it means you are still in Equestria. Discord has been defeated and we are working on finding you. Stay safe until then.

-Princess Celestia

P.S. Twilight has been working on finding a way home for you. Don't lose hope. She said she has found something promising.

I don't know what to think about it. Will they ever find me? Can I really go home?

Day 9:

I made a flag with my shirt. I'm sure they will be able to find me with it. I Climbed my dead tree and placed it at the top. With any luck, the wind and rain won't bother it.

Day 10:

No rescue yet. I'm not sure how much longer I can last. The thing that ate the deer found me. It was a manticore. Two weeks of training and little experience with fighting left me wounded. It's dead, but I'm not that much better off; I'm sure something is broken. It seems the wildlife here is no longer wary of my presence.

Please, hurry. The voices are getting louder.

Day 11:

Still no rescue. The flag is still there, but I may just be seeing things. I just can't... tell anymore!

Most of my wounds have scabbed, but the bruises are growing. Whatever that thing did, it might not be a bruise. It's hard to move.

I'm starting to see walls and ghostly figures. They look human, but when I get close, they disperse.

I awoke to the sound of leaves crunching. No. Please. Just, leave me alone. Whatever it was, it was getting closer. I continued to lay in my hole. There was just no more energy in me.

"I think he's over here."

Voices. Always voices.

"I see him!" Hooves filled my vision. "Oh no, he's not good! Quick, get that thing over here!"

No, enough with the visions! "...go.."

"Goddesses, he's conscious."

"...go... away..."

"What? No!"

"...damn... visions..."

"Stay with me! I'm real! You're going to be fine!"

"...no...stay....back..."

"Get that thing over here already! He doesn't have long!"

"..."

"Dex!"

"..."

"DEX!"

Recovery

Voices.

"-doctor?"

"Cracked rib. Fractures along both arms. Extreme manticore poisoning and a few serious bruises. The fact that he's even alive in his malnourished state is a miracle."

"Will he recover?"

"It's hard to say. At this point, we can only hope."

Voices.

"...will ...doctor?"

"...been ... long ... want ... make ... choice soon."

Weeping.

"Doctor! He's waking up!"

I felt horrible. Everything hurt and yet there was no reference point. When I opened my eyes, I was blind.

"I'm here, let me see. ...yes, yes."

"...where..." My voice was rough. It hurt to speak.

"Don't speak right now. I'm going to run some tests." Clacking sounds got fainter. Hooves?

"...what..."

"Shh..." The first voice was talking. "You've been through a lot. I'll tell you everything as soon as the doctor comes back."

Voices. Always voices. I slept.

I heard hoofsteps returning to the room. "It looks like he'll make it. We'll keep him on monitors and IV for now."

"And his mental state?" The voice from before was still here.

"Tell him. It's best to do it now while we can watch him."

"Very well, doctor." The voice got closer. "Dex? Can you hear me?"

"...yes..."

"I'm going to tell you what happened. Are you going to be alright?"

"...yes..."

"You are in Canterlot hospital. You were pretty banged up when we found you. It seems when you fought a manticore, it managed to get you with its stinger. The blindness you are experiencing will go away in time."

"..."

"One of your ribs was broken and your arms weren't far from it. I don't know how you managed to survive, but we'll save you."

"...thank....you..." I didn't know what else to say. I would live, but there was so much pain. "...pain..."

"Unfortunately, we don't know how much morphine we could give you. I'll give you more now."

I felt a cool fluid enter my veins and sleep took me again.

Voices.

"Do we have to, doctor? Can't we wait a little longer?"

"I don't... .... ... yes. Take as much time ...."

"Thank you, doctor."

"Dex!" I was startled awake by a familiar voice. The darkness was receding. I could only make out a vague shape and a dark purple color. "Thank Celestia you're awake."

"Twi... light?" My throat was dry, but my voice was stronger than before.

"Yes, I'm here. I just wanted to check up on you. I'll get the princess right away." She ran out of the room.

"Oh dear, I hope she didn't bother you too much." That voice...

"Who?"

"I'm the nurse on call for our one and only human." She sounded excited, but tired.

"Water. Please." An off-white blur walked into my vision and set a glass against my lips. I drank in shallow gulps, then the glass was pulled away. "Thank you." Much better.

"My pleasure. It is quite interesting to finally get to talk to you."

"I don't think I'll be very good conversation."

She giggled. "No, I don't suppose you would right now. Give it time, dear. You'll be up in no time."

Purple and white blobs entered.

"Dex, I am told you have awoken." Celestia's voice.

"That I have," I coughed up some mucus, "Your Highness."

"Do not worry about etiquette right now. Tell me, are you up for a talk?"

"Pardon me, Your Majesty, but I asked the same thing. He may not respond often."

"Very well, I will just wish him well at the moment." There was a slight pause. "Dex, when you are better, we will talk." Yup, totally looking forward to that.

"I look forward to it, Celestia."

Days passed. I am unsure of how many, but my vision eventually returned. The medical equipment in the room had a glow to it, almost as if it was an afterimage. Voices would plague me when I was alone occasionally. My only respite was when the nurse came in.

"Good morning, Dex. Sleep well?" Now that I could see, she looked beautiful. At least, she did in the strictest sense of the word. With a peach colored coat and white mane and tail, she was easy to look at. Her cutie mark was green snake wrapped around a brown rod.

"I did with the morphine."

"Yes, I believe we can switch you to some weaker pain killer now. Your bruises are nearly gone and your arms are healed." I didn't know what was up with Equestria and fast healing, but I wasn't complaining. The less pain I was in the better.

"Hmm... Well... maybe a bit longer?"

She just laughed. "Now now, dear. I think you've gotten addicted to it. Don't worry, it's normal. You'll be fine with something else."

"Of course. So what did you want to talk about today?"

With Twilight busy with research, and the princesses being princesses, the nurse was my only constant visitor. Stone showed up once, just to tell me to buck up. I ended up having all sorts of conversations with the nurse. One day, the voices were too much.

"Shut up! I don't know who you are, but I don't care! Stop talking!"

The nurse came running in, in a panic. "Dex! Calm down! Nopony's there." It took some time for her to calm me down. I had managed to pull my IV out and knock over the heart monitor. I found out later, that it wasn't damaged.

God damnit! Just go away! I sighed. "Sorry nurse. It just annoys me that they won't go away."

"It's fine dear. And please, call me Panacea."

"Heh, it took me acting up to get your name."

"What?" She looked at me perplexed. "Dex, I've told you my name multiple times."

What? No! I may be hearing voices, but I refuse to believe that I'm losing my memory! "Are you sure? I usually have a really good memory."

"I'm sure... Are you all right?"

"No. I don't believe I am, Pan."

"Pan? Nopony has called me that since I joined the medical field."

"Oh? Tell me more."

As long as she was around, the voices stayed quiet. We talked about all sorts of things. Time melted away as I was released before I knew it. I said my goodbyes and thanks to the medical staff and left. A couple guards met me at the entrance and I was escorted back to the castle.

It was time to speak with Celestia.

Revelation

Once more, I found myself in the throne room. Celestia nodded to my presence as I knelt before her. She spoke when I rose.

"Dex, it is good to see you well again. When I learned that you were still in Equestia, I sent my best to find you."

"You have my thanks, Your Majesty." You know, just thought of something. Are royal titles interchangeable? Noone seems to correct me.

"The one who found you also brought your journal to me. I am sorry that you had to go through what you did."

"It wasn't your fault. I feel better, but would like nothing more than to punch Discord for what he did."

A smirk was playing at Celestia's lips. "I am sure, however, you cannot."

"Would you care to explain what happened during my absence?"

The fight sounded glorious. Luna helped break Celestia and Twilight out of Discord's spell shortly after I disappeared. While the two princesses distracted him, Twilight went to gather the Elements and her friends. The way she spoke, it seemed that they had to fight for a full day before Twilight and company returned.

Exhausted from battle, the Elements of Harmony managed to strike while Discord was down. He spoke with conviction instead of fear. As he was returned to stone, he said he would return again in only a short time.

Fearing this to be true, Celestia brought his statue to the mines beneath Canterlot. She used the crystals there as a battery to hold a very powerful spell. This spell would force all chaotic energy from reaching the statue within. To keep up appearances, she commissioned a replica to be made and set in the gardens.

"I wish I was there to help you." I'm sure it would've been a lot better than what I went through.

"And I am glad you were not. You would have empowered him through your presence alone." Oh yeah.

"Princess Celestia, is what Discord said true?"

"I am not sure. Humans are ...odd creatures."

"But was I really empowering him as much as he said?"

"It is possible, but we have no idea if the amount of chaos energy you emit is stronger than others. You are our first human after all."

"I see. So what happens now?

"Now we move on to what will be done with you, Dex. Discord may be hidden away, but I cannot allow another chance of his escape. Twilight says she has a solution."

The grand doors of the throne room were opened. Twilight walked through, looking pensive.

"My faithful student, Twilight Sparkle, tell me, what have you learned?"

"It isn't looking good princess. I have a spell, but it isn't safe." Well, it can't be worse than the forest, right?

"Please, tell us what you know Twilight. It is his best hope."

"Very well." Twilight proceeded to go into a large explaination about whatever spell she had found. I had no background in magic, so I was lost from the beginning. All I really caught was the end. "-death."

Wait, what? "Twilight, could you explain that to me again? In simpler terms, mind. I don't know magic."

I could tell she didn't like repeating herself, or dumbing down an explanation. "Ok, basically, I can send you back. The problem is, you have stayed here so long that the guide is weak. Furthermore, even if it does work, you might not be able to handle the shock. You could very well die!"

No! What do I do?! I can't... "How much time is left?"

"I calculated that you have roughly twenty four hours before the connection is lost forever."

If I can just be left alone to think... I turned to Celestia. "Your Royal Highness, Princess Celestia, I humbly ask that I be free to walk where I please. I wish to be alone to decide."

There was a long pause. She still didn't trust me completely. I hoped with this news, she'd allow it. "Dex, you ask for more than you know. Twenty four hours of freedom; you could cause a lot of problems in that time. However, considering the circumstances, I will allow it. Do not make me regret my decision."

"I thank you, Your Highness." I then turned to Twilight. "Will you be here when I make my decision?"

"Yes. The princess and I have some catching up to do."

At that, I strolled out of the throne room. Guards would give me wary looks whenever I spotted one. I hate it when people look at me when I want to think. The gardens were my retreat; my head was muddled.

I found a bench facing the great maze Twilight and friends found Discord. As much as I would have liked to explore, I felt I could think better laying down. I lay sprawled across the bench.

What to do? I could stay here. I'm sure I'm gaining the princess's trust. But what about my family? What if this really is just a dream I need to wake up from? Do I just forget them? I hate being wrong, something tell me! ...nothing... Of course. All right, comparisons then. Stay: new start and great people, but lose my old life. Go: Deal with whatever happened since I left and all the problems of society, but I don't lose my family. Argh, so difficult! .....huh?

"... sorry ...need ... now."

Ugh, those damn voices. All I want to do is think and yet here they are again.

"...come ... decision, doctor."

Now that I think about it, that one sounds familiar. Bah, I can't think about that right now. Do I stay or attempt to go? I'm not even sure this is fake anymore. There's just not enough evidence to support that theory anymore.

"Give .... minute .. say goodbye."

I wasn't getting anywhere. If I wanted to think, the voices would have to leave. It was then I realized I didn't need to think, but feel. I cleared my head and just listened to the wind. The voices didn't leave.

"... sorry ... farm ... alone ..."

"... should've ... didn't ..."

"He wouldn't ... is best"

"... know ... still ... my ..."

Wait...Those aren't just voices! They're my family!

If my family is talking to me... but then I am in a coma... the way they're talking though...

Shit!

I ran. I ran as fast as I could back to the throne room. I needed to go NOW! Please let me make it in time! I burst into Celestia's throne room and could see the shock on her face.

"Twilight! Send me back! NOW!"

"What? Dex, are-"

"Yes! I know what's happening. Do it before it's too late!"

She nodded and charged her horn.

"Are.... sure? Won't ... change ..." Hurry!

I was hit with all the power Twilight could gather. I immediately blacked out.

In a dimly lit hospital, upon a bed, a body gasped awake.

Epilogue

How interesting, life is, when, as soon as you think you know what you want, everything changes.

I awoke in a hospital. My body felt stiff, as if I hadn't moved it in years. The room was dark and silent. I lay there, waiting for someone to enter.

"Did it work?" My voice was raspy. Am I home?

There were voices coming from my door. With it shut, I couldn't understand a word. I wet my mouth as best as I could.

"Hello?! Who's there?!" Fire assaulted my throat. The voices stopped and the door opened. No.

I couldn't believe it. I hadn't gone anywhere! Panacea and a doctor hurried into my room. How is this possible? Did Twilight lie?

"Dex! You're awake! Oh, it's been so long, dear."

The doctor approached and checked my vitals and pupil dilation. "Marvelous. There seems to be no damage at all! Mr. Dex, with a few weeks of physical therapy, I dare say you could be released."

I fought through the pain in my throat. "That's nice, but what happened? I was supposed to be home!" I coughed and Pan trotted up to give me some water.

"I'm afraid I don't know that. I'll contact your guardian." The doctor spoke while Pan continued to run non-essential tests.

"My what?"

"Your guardian, Twilight Sparkle."

Oh ho ho... This will be FUN! I get to yell at her AND she has to take care of me?

"Sorry I can't stay. The doctor and I need to discuss your condition."

Pan and the doctor left, but not before turning on the room's lights. Between using my hands and the bedsheets, I managed to adjust to the light. Then, I listened.

...

Nothing. There were no voices anymore. The fact that I even remembered Pan's name had to mean something as well. I wanted answers now, but I was in no condition to move. Two hours later, Twilight came in. Game set!

"Twilight! The hell happened?!" I spoke with anger in my voice. She visibly winced.

"Dex, I'm so sorry." She said it with such a small voice, I nearly lost my edge.

"Sorry? Sorry?! I don't care if you're sorry, tell me what happened!" I drank some water the nurse left me on a side table.

"The spell didn't work properly. Did Celestia tell you about harmonic and chaotic magic?"

"She said something about them not being compatible... So what? I thought your spell nullified that."

"That's just it. Chaotic magic may be stopped or controlled, but not completely. Something happened and I don't know what."

"So instead of me returning or dying, it did nothing? You didn't tell me that."

"I only told you what was important! You, yourself, said that you don't understand magic so I had to make it simple!" Oh? Blaming me for not understanding an unknown? "Dex, pay attention now. What were you thinking about when I hit you with the spell?"

What does that matter? "I don't see how that's relevant."

"Everything's relevant, Dex! We are dealing with chaotic magic. Even the smallest detail can throw my own magic off. Now, think!"

I did as she told. At first, I thought back to my panic. Then, the spell hit me. Then, blackness.

I was floating in a void. What was up or down or left or... time, didn't seem to matter. Somewhere, there were two points of light. I thought about my family, the one on the right got bigger. I thought about Equestria, the left one got bigger. I had all the time I needed to decide now. Would I choose the left or the right? Could the void be lying to me? What if the one I thought of was the one I would forget? I did what I tried before back at the gardens, I felt.

Did I feel more towards my family or to the ponies of Equestria? The one on the right got bigger. Which world did I feel I could make something of myself? The one on the left got bigger. Love? Left. Responsible for? Right. Hate? Right. Joy? Left. Sadness? Both. This went on for a long time. Then, I thought of the one thing that is most important. In which world would I feel happy?

Light blinded me. Whatever choice I made then, it was decided. Never again would I get the chance to choose again.

I chose Equestria.

I came out of my trance with Twilight staring at me. There were tears in her eyes. Apparently, I had related what happened.

"You chose us? Over your own world?"

"I guess so." I looked around the room like I was seeing it for the first time. "I really am happy here. I will miss my family, and grieve for their loss of me, but I can see myself here."

"You have made a hard choice, Dex, but I see it is one you thought long and hard to make." Princess Celestia slowly entered the room. The smile on her face felt natural now. "Have you decided what to do next?"

What will I do? What WON'T I do? "Princess, I have no plan, but I do have ideas. First," I struggled off the bed and knelt, "Princess Celestia, I swear loyalty to the diarchy of Equestria. Any command, I will obey; any battle, I will join; and any peace, I will uphold."

For all her wisdom and knowledge, Princess Celestia was speechless. By the time I forced myself back into the bed, she composed herself. "Dex, I misjudged you more than I thought possible. I accept your oath." She smiled. "But do not think yourself as a soldier of Equestria. You have been through much and I would not ask of you for some time. Rest now; I have duties to perform." With a quick show of magic, she blinked out of the room.

There was a moment of silence before Twilight spoke up. "That was brave of you Dex. I do not think she will command you often, but now you are duty-bound to do anything she says."

"I know, but it was the only way to finally gain complete trust from her."

"If you think so..." Twilight looked at me nervously. "Dex, I have to know. Why were you in a hurry?"

"With getting hit with your, oh so helpful, spell?" She glared at me, but nodded. "Haha, relax Twi’. I know it wasn't your fault, but I just love messing with you. Well, what do you know about comas?"

It turned out that she knew quite a bit about comas; I barely had to explain anything. Basically, coma patients are believed to hear and some are recorded to have memory loss. I told her that, with Discord's magic being involved, conversations and objects were superimposed over my dream state. When I heard my family saying goodbye, I realized they were going to induce death.

"But, why would your family do that?" Her ears were laid back and her voice was wavy.

"My family and I had a discussion a long time back. We all agreed that if we were going to be in a vegetable-like state, or if we had no chance of waking up from a coma, that we would want to be freed."

"That's horrible! There's al-"

"Twilight, no. In my world, after a few months, the chances of waking up are slim. It doesn't help matters that the family of the patient is constantly charged room and board."

"Oh no. Charged for something like that? I don't think I can imagine it."

"It doesn't matter now. We are getting off topic here. That's what was happening and that's why I was in a hurry. I wanted to wake up before it was too late."

"Right. I don't like it, but thank you for telling me." She turned away to walk about before perking up at something. "Dex, what was that you said about dreaming? Do you still think this is fake?"

"I really don't know anymore, Twilight. If it was a dream, it should've been over as soon as they injected me."

"Oh...Dex..."

"What?"

"This is real, don't doubt that any longer. I felt your connection snap in the middle of the spell. There is no way back or to communicate."

Oh... well, isn't that convenient? "So what happens next?"

"Now, you rest mister. It's time Twilight went home as well." Pan reentered the room.

"Ugh, fine. I managed to get up and kneel before the princess, when can I leave?" Both girls giggled.

"Dex, I'm going to go. Don't rush it, all right?" At my nod, Twilight departed. At least she had the decency to walk out.

I spent a week in that hospital. I refused to stay after I could walk without stumbling into things. I told them I would continue my therapy on my own, where I could do what I wanted. The only place I had to go was the small room in the castle, but Celestia caught me walking the halls.

"Dex! You were released already?"

"Yes, princess. I was just on my way to my room."

"Your room? That isn't your room anymore." What?

"So I gotta find my own place now?" Shouldn't be too hard. I'm sure someone will let me stay the night.

She held a hoof up to her mouth to avoid laughing. "No, my dear knight. I have a better room for you. Come with me." Knight?

She led me to a room not far from her own. It had something to do with ‘keeping a close eye on the chaos I released’, she said. I wasn't too sure. "Here you are Dex. Oh, and your sword is waiting inside as well." My sword?

Oh! My sword! "Thank you very much princess.Your kindness is immense."

"It was my pleasure. Now, I will let you get settled in. I would like to speak with you in the throne room in two hours."

I nodded to Celestia and entered my new room. It was grand. It was everything I wanted in a castle bedroom and more. There was a king sized bed with dark red oak ends and deep ruby covers facing the door. Matching end tables sat on either side of the bed with large candles set upon them. An armoire, with my sword leaning against it, was on the right and a dresser, that was longer than any had a right to be, was on the right. A massive throw rug took up most of the floor with a chandelier hanging above it. I had plenty of space to add furniture or practice. I took some time to get acquainted with everything before heading towards the throne room.

Guards no longer watched my every move. Now, they nodded and went along their way. I had that change of attitude and the princess's earlier words on my brain when I finally reached those great hulking doors denoting what lay beyond. I nodded to the guards and, when the doors were opened, I was met by the sight of many ponies standing on either side of a wide red carpet. They watched as I headed down the soft cloth to Celestia and Luna's thrones. I knelt before my new leaders.

"Dex, of planet Earth, on behalf of Luna and myself, I grant you citizenry of Equestria." I felt warmth spread through me; I could finally look Celestia in the eyes. They were breathtaking. "Upon your oath, heard by me and witnessed by Twilight Sparkle, I deem you a Knight of the Solar Guard." She stepped towards me and laid her horn on either side of my head. "May you serve loyally and righteously in all that you do."

Sequel Squared

Alright guys, here's the updated stuff.

Days of our Dex: A slice of life fiction about what Dex did between this story and the true sequel.

The Chaos Within: The actual sequel to this story.

Enjoy!