Underneath the Mistletoe

by Shakespearicles

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Romance, Princess Luna, Comedy
Length: 10115

A human wishes for Celestia to appear beneath his Christmas tree. And then she does.

A tired writer retires to his living room for Christmas Eve. He idly wishes for a special somepony to appear beneath his empty Christmas tree.

A special somepony grants his wish.

Published 2015-12-26 06:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2016-12-24 15:54:02 UTC

A Christmas Wish

Princess Luna silently crept down the stairs of the small house, peering into the living room below. Hidden from view in the darkness, she could see all, while remaining undetected herself.

There he sat in his comfortable armchair, aglow in the flickering light of his computer screen, and the light of the fireplace nearby. On the screen, the latest paragraph of the story he was typing remained unfinished, the cursor blinking mid-sentence. His muscular arms hung limp by his sides and his head hung, fast asleep.

What fantastical tales he wove, of fictional characters in all manners erotic. This most recent he was the most excited about. But the night grew long, and his head grew weary, sleep overtaking him before he could publish. And the last of the embers of the fireplace died out, leaving him in the eerie light of a white document screen.

But with the fireplace vacant, it made possible a small Christmas wish to be granted. And then down through the chimney, a pony did shimmy, and then scurry beneath the Christmas tree in the room's corner. But as barren as the floor was beneath that tree, it was still a rather small tree, with little room beneath. And the rather tall pony did find that there was little room under to be had, hiding then, instead, mostly behind it.

The pony then did pluck from the tree an ornament, flinging it across the room at the dozing human. Her distance was good and her aim was true. But the flimsy Royal Pine air freshener that barely passed for an ornament bounced effortlessly off of his tired head, leaving nary a mark. She instead took the glass from his desk, with a bit of water in the bottom from the leftover ice cube, and levitated it over his lap, pouring it into his crotch.

He jerked awake, startling the pony who dropped the glass from her magical grasp. He looked down at his pants, and the glass in his lap, thinking that he must have spilled it in his sleep. He got up from his chair and picked up the glass, setting it back on the coaster on his desk. He saved his work and turned off the computer, shrouding the room in darkness. He knelt down and rekindled the fire, adding some more wood and getting it going again.

He looked down at his pants, still wet, and peeled them off, stepping out of them one leg at a time and holding them out in front of him toward the fire as he sat back down in his chair. Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw movement. He looked over toward the tree, squinting into the darkness. His eyes took a moment to adjust after looking into the fire. But he could swear he saw something. Or someone.

"Who's there!?" he called out. In a flash, something snatched his pants from his hands, tossing them into the fire.

"You shan't be needing those," came a sultry, feminine voice from the tree. He took a step back, dropping into a defensive stance. His biceps flexed, splitting the seams of his shirt sleeves. He'd prayed for this moment, for a home-invader he could snap in half like a skinny twig. So what if it was a woman burglar? He could still fight while sporting a boner. He clapped his hands twice. The ceiling light turned on. That's right. He has the Clapper. What of it?

He blinked in the new brightness, but focused his vision under the tree. He could see legs with stockings. Four legs, with red and green stripes. Were there two intruders in here? It didn't matter. He brought up his fists. Neither would be leaving aliv-... Behind the tree, he could see something shimmer. Blue, and green, and pink, waving in an unseen wind.

"No..." he whispered in disbelief. He looked to his desk. His Christmas bottle of Johnnie Walker Blue Label sat unopened. This vision was not the work of his 'liquid inspiration'. He looked back at the tree, "It can't be..."

The pony beneath the tree rose to her hooves, stepping out from behind. Her ethereal mane flowed around her, as did her tail. Her alabaster fur was unmarred by the chimney. Her red and green stockings ran all the way up her shapely legs. And her body had a decorative red ribbon tied around it, with a tag addressed to him. She was beauty incarnate. He fell, compelled to his knees. Tears streamed from his eyes, neither of pain or sadness. It was the kind you get from riding into the wind for too long, or from looking directly into the sun. Yes, that was what it was like. It was like looking at the sun, and unable to look away.

"Is this not what you wished for?" Princess Celestia said at last, "Did you not wish for me to appear beneath your tree tonight?"

He felt that he'd fallen from a great height, and had the wind knocked out of him. But her question demanded an answer. He summoned the strength within himself to yet draw breath.

"I did wish it," he confessed. She smiled, reaching out to him with her hoof, beckoning him to rise.

"Then I am here to grant your wish," she said with her warm, soothing voice. His hand reached out to her socked hoof, almost afraid to touch it, as though if he did, it would break, she would break like glass, and all of this would be gone. His hand grazed the silken material of the stocking, its texture giving it reality in his grasp, taking her hoof. She helped him to his feet, bringing his face level with hers.

He looked at her, standing there in his living room, still awestruck. Never in his wildest dreams- well perhaps there, but never had he ever seriously thought that he would meet Princess Celestia herself. But here she was, dressed up in a ribbon, herself, a gift for him for Christmas.

"Now that I'm here? Whatever shall we do?" she asked in a coy tone. He was still dumbfounded. The wordsmith extraordinaire himself, at a loss. Celestia took a half-step backwards, underneath the archway of the room, and a very specific decoration. "Oh my, it seems I'm standing underneath the mistletoe," she said, raising her eyebrows at him.

"You know, a mistletoe can be deadly, if you eat it," he said.

"A kiss can be even deadlier..." she whispered, "if you mean it." Certainly he heard the words. Her voice caressed his ears with their melody. But his mind struggled to comprehend what it was that she was implying. She was standing beneath the mistletoe. That meant that she- she- Her horn glowed. He felt a pressure at his back, pushing him across the floor toward her. She looked at him and licked her lips seductively. He wanted to. By the stars, he wanted to! But she was Princess Celestia! Who was he to her? How could he possibly kiss her? It would be like kissing a perfect statue made of chocolate, his profane lips smearing and marring its beauty.

"I- I shouldn't-" he stuttered. She pouted, her eyes turning sad.

"Do you not want to? Am I not pretty enough?" she asked.

"No no! Of course I want to! You- You are BEAUTIFUL! You are the most beautiful pony I've ever known!" he professed. On the stairs, Luna's fur bristled. "But me, I'm- I am not worthy."

"Hmm," Celestia purred, "Indeed. You have been very naughty this year." Her magic flickered his computer on, bringing his screen to life. "I've been reading what you've been writing about me. Tsk Tsk, such a dirty mind." He felt his face go pale, expecting to become the thirteenth person to be on the moon.

"I- I can explain!" he said.

"I was hoping you would say that to me," she said, "or rather, show me." She turned in a small circle in front of him, flicking his face with her tail, affording him the briefest of glimpses beneath. Her modesty hidden then only by a bit of ribbon. She turned back to face him, looking him in the eyes. "Now, I am still standing beneath the mistletoe. So I will tell you, in no uncertain terms; I want you to kiss me," she said. He nodded his head ever so slightly at her command.

"As you wish." He closed his eyes and leaned in toward her.

"Uh, uh, ah!" She put her hoof up, stopping him. "No. I've seen the Princess Bridle too. Don't play that game with me. If you really mean it, if I really mean that much to you, then say the words," she said. He took her hoof in his hands, bringing it to his cheek, leaning into it. He put his hand, in turn, on her cheek, and the other, running his fingers through her lush mane.

"Celestia," he leaned in closer, looking deeply into her eyes, "I love you." They closed their eyes and their lips met. He kissed her beneath the mistletoe. Her lips parted, inviting his tongue with hers, dancing over one another across their teeth. Her lips were a unique flavor. A mix of sunshine and weddings and birthdays and holidays. She tasted like pure, distilled happiness. She transported him to a magical place that he thought was long gone in his soul, and he never wanted to leave. He felt her warm breath from her nose on his cheek. She was breathing just as hard from excitement as he was. But like all good things, this too must end. She was first to pull away from the kiss, slowly, taking his lower lip in hers, sucking on it before letting it go.

A prelude of things to come...

Wish Granted

"S- so, you've read my stories?" he asked. Celestia nodded, taking a few steps toward him.

"Mmhmm. Indeed." The lust in her eyes was both terrifying and devastatingly arousing as she licked her lips. He stepped back, still a bit unsure of everything. He was sporting a serious erection in spite of his fear. A fearection.

"And you want to... do those things?" he asked nervously.

"Oh yes." She smiled. "Every. Last. One." She took a step closer with each word. He tripped backwards, falling into his chair. She scooted up beside him.

"I- I'm not sure if all of those are even physically possible," he said.

"Shh. Trust in the magic of the evening. Now pet me," she said, leaning across his lap.

"Pet you?" he asked. She took his hand in her magic and guided it to the back of her head. He ran it down her neck, through her mane, repeating the motion.

"Mmm, all the way." He ran his hand down her neck, along her back between her wings to the small of her back before returning to her head. She looked back at him. "That was not all the way," she teased. "I want you to go all. the. way."

His hand made another pass, down between her wings and over the small of her back to her hips, brushing against the base of her tail. "Mmm, yes," she purred. "Pull my tail."

"What?"

"Pull it!" she barked. He took her tail in his fist and gave it a firm tug. "Nnmff." Celestia bit her lip to stifle a moan as her wings sprung open, breaking the red ribbon wrapping her. One of them smacking him in the face. She smirked and ran her wing across his cheek, tickling him with her feathers. She wiggled her hips, shaking off the last bits of ribbon covering her backside. "Well, now that you've... unwrapped your present, why don't you preen me?"

"Your wings look perfect," he said, truthfully. She blushed at the complement.

"Preen me anyway," she said. He took her wing in his hands, giving a feather a tug with his fingers. "No!" She pulled her feather away. He put his hands up as though he'd done something wrong. "Do it correctly. Use your... mouth. Your teeth." She brought her wing to his face again, tickling his chin under his beard. He took a single feather between his teeth, tugging it gently. "Oooh yes... just like that." He did the same for the next, and the next, nibbling his way along her wing. He leaned over her, reaching the final feather at the base of her wing between her should blades, holding her body for support.

"Ooh, your hand is on my cutie mark," she said. He looked down at the golden sun emblem on her fur beneath his hand.

"Is the cutie mark actually an erogenous zone?" he asked.

"Honestly? No. But I like to pretend that it is," she said. "It still feels nice." He smiled and rubbed her flanks with his hands as he shifted over to the other wing, his lips moving along the other set of feathers. "Mmh, you've quite a talent at this. Are you sure that you've never consorted with Pegasi before?"

"No ma'am. Never."

"Gryphons, then?"

"No Gryphons either. This is my first foray into inter-species erotica," he said as he finished her other wing. She shifted back, letting him sit again, and scooted in between his legs.

"So, I get to be your first?" she asked.

"My first pony, yes." She reached out with her hooves, grasping his boxers, giving them a tug.

"Well, I hope I can live up to your expectations," she said, pulling them completely off of him. She just stopped and looked at it. He looked at her. She looked at him, and then back at it. "Is that... it?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Is that all of it? I mean does it get... is that as big as it gets?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Your fictions led me to have certain... expectations," she said.

"The focus would be on the word 'fiction'." He sighed. "Listen, I may not be a stallion, but I will have you know that I am quite above average for my species."

"Okay, okay." She tapped her hooves together. "Actually, this is a good thing. It makes this next part very easy."

"What part?" She didn't answer, instead leaning down and taking his penis in her mouth, easily sucking all of it. He saw stars at the feeling of it. Rarely could a woman take his entire length, and here Celestia was, making it look easy. She worked her mouth up and down on his shaft, pausing at the top and focusing on the tip before enveloping his whole length again, running her tongue against his balls, a combination he had never felt before. She bobbed her head a few more times before taking a break, panting.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I'm great!"

"Then what's the matter?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Why haven't you cum yet? It's been over a minute," she said. He didn't answer. A smile just grew across his lips. Most stallions seldom lasted very long. It was the one advantage humans had in that department.

"Celestia, am I your first?" he asked.

"My first human, yes," she admitted. He held her cheeks in his hands and looked into her sympathetic eyes.

"You're doing a great job. It just takes a little longer. Pace yourself," he said. She smiled, reassured, and went back to work on him. She went slower now, in long smooth motions. He looked down at her in his lap, her horn pointing up at him, demanding attention. He reached out, wrapping his hand around the base of it. She held still on his dick, waiting to see what he was doing. Holding her still with one hand, he stroked the length of her horn with the other, running his fingers up and down along its ridges.

"Mmmmff." She moaned on him with his dick still in her mouth as he stroked her horn. He leaned down, licking it, and sucking on the tip. Her wings flared open, stiff at his ministrations. He worked the wet part of her horn with his hand, stroking it up and down, getting the rest of it slick as he continued to suck it. Celestia's knees trembled and she struggled to keep up on her own task. In the battle of pleasuring, she was losing. Or winning. Depending on how one looked at it. She lifted her head from off of his dick. "H-Hey! Ooh!" She moaned. "Be careful."

He took his mouth off of her horn, still rubbing it with his hand. He took one of his fingers and brushed it across the tip of her horn, making her shudder. It was pointy, but still rounded enough that he wasn't worried about any kind of injury. Besides, his mouth lacked the... particular mechanical experience of the motion, and the sheer anatomical depth, to take more than a couple of inches. He went back to sucking on the tip of her horn, his hand moved faster on the rest of it. She cried out. "Ooh ooohHHHH!"

The ceiling light of the room dimmed, and he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand up, like he was touching a van de Graaff generator. Her horn glowed brightly, more-so in the darkened room. He felt a 'pop' in his mouth and his lips went numb. The light returned to normal. He pulled away off of her horn, falling back into his chair coughing and sputtering clouds of O-zone. Celestia's legs gave out, falling forwards into his lap.

"Stars and stones!" she breathed, laying on his bare thigh. "Nopony has done that for me in an age!" He rubbed his lips. They we still tingling as though he'd just kissed a nine-volt.

"Ah kin she rye," he slurred. She grinned.

"I tried to warn you." She giggled.

"You did." He leaned back, reclining in his seat and reaching down and lifting her up onto him. Her head rested on his broad chest, and her knees were still on the carpet at his feet. His hands ran down along her warm back, over her now-relaxed wings. He could just about reach her hips. He took her supple flanks in his strong hands and gave them a firm squeeze.

"Hmm," she purred into his chest at his touch. She mirrored him, running her hoof over his chest as she looked up at him. He leaned his head back, closing his eyes. Her horn quickly glowed to life, snatching a bit of his holiday decoration from the room while his eyes were closed. After, she slid down his body. His eyes blinked open as she pulled away. As her head passed by his groin she took his shaft in her hoof, and gave him a couple of playful sucks, before getting back on her hooves on the floor.

"Where're you going?" he asked. She took a few slow, sensual steps backwards, inviting him to follow her. He stood up from his chair and obeyed.

"Oh, I thought that you might want to kiss me under the mistletoe..." she said, moving back under the archway.

"Kiss you under the mistletoe, huh?" He looked up in the archway. The mistletoe was missing. "What happened to it?" he asked. She grinned at him, licking her lips and swaying her hips before turning around and lifting her tail for him. Tied at the base of her tail, just above her glistening marehood, was the mistletoe, with all the subtlety of an atomic detonation. Past her tail, he could see her grinning, looking back at him with that mischievous glint in her eye.

Needing no further prompting, he got down on his knees in reverence to praise the sun. He placed his hands upon her solar cutie marks, pulling her hips back to him. Her aroma was not at all what he was expecting. But then, he wasn't sure what to expect at all. He'd been in a few stables before. He had some idea what a horse smelled like. But if her kisses were any indication, her flavor was far more than any simple, biological construct.

Her scent was surprisingly subtle. It wasn't the strong musk he was expecting. It was just barely perceptible, at the edge of his senses. The faintest hint of vanilla. He closed the distance, kissing her lips. Her tail swished, arcing over his head and tickling his back. He kissed her flower petals again, pressing deeper and bringing his tongue to bear into her slit. She tasted sweet, and tangy, with just the tiniest bit of tartness to it. It was very similar to a peppermint candy cane. She literally had a candy ass.

He kneaded her ass with his hands like dough and licked her harder, flicking her clitoris with his tongue, causing her wings to grow so stiff that they positively ached from being so outstretched. Her elbows gave out, causing her to fall forward a bit and prop he butt up into the air like a needy little slut, begging for attention. He stopped what he was doing with his tongue and brought his finger to her slit, running it up and down, pressing lightly on her little love-button. Celestia moaned with her cheek pressed against the carpet. He slid his finger back up her slit and probed at her entrance, teasing her a bit before slipping it inside.

"Mmhh, yes!" she whimpered. He slid his finger in and out a few times, spreading her wetness. He added a second finger, pressing them deeply into her and making a 'come here' motion with them inside while he worked her clit with his thumb. Her juices were really flowing now, running over his hand and down his arm in little warm rivulets. He added a third finger, and a forth spreading her wider open. Meant for a stallion's penis, she could surely handle the extra width. In fact...

Celestia cooed in disappointment when she felt his thumb abandon her clit. He rotated his hand a bit, trying to find the best angle of approach with his thumb added to the cone shape he made with his fingers, poised at the entrance of her vagina. His entire hand was thoroughly wet with her excitement as he slowly, gently, pushed into her, stretching her to her widest yet.

"OHHhhhhGHH!" Celestia let out a very deep, throaty moan, unbecoming of a princess, as the widest part of his hand finally slipped inside her and her lips relaxed, closing somewhat around his wrist. He held it there for a moment while she adjusted to the new fullness. Without a word, a few moments later, Celestia only nodded, bidding him permission to proceed. He pushed forward a bit more, sinking more of his wrist into her hot, snug box, closing his fingers into a fist, before backing off a little. He pressed into her again, a bit deeper each time, in a slow, fucking motion. She was halfway up his forearm before he began to wonder if this mare had no bottom.

"Tia,"

"Keep going!" she all but begged. He pushed into her one more time, determined to find out just how deep he could go before she would yell out for him to stop. His fist bottomed out against her cervix just as his elbow bumped against her pussy. "NNGGghh!" He rolled his wrist a little, moving inside her a little in a way that no stallion's penis possibly could. Her hoof stamped against the floor. "OH fffff-fuck!" she cried out. It was so strange hearing that word come from her. The profanity only added to the dirtiness of the act. He pulled his arm back, all the way to the wrist before pushing it completely back inside her again. Celestia stopped speaking in words, now only moaning and grunting like some feral beast as he fist-fucked her. All his years at the gym, working out, had prepared him for this day.

The upward angle of her butt made it easy for him to look underneath her. He adjusted the angle of his arm, pressing more downward. He could see the bulge protruding from her tummy. He watched the bulge of his fist moving deep inside of her, as he slid it in and out. He pressed his free hand to her soft, white fur, feeling the other moving inside.

"Feel this," he said. Celestia was resting on one elbow, bringing her free hoof back. He took her hoof in his hand and guided it to her belly. He pushed deep into her again, rolling his fist inside beneath her hoof. She grunted and groaned, pressing her hoof harder into her belly, increasing the pressure squeezing his fist. He took his free hand and bought it to his elbow, stretching her entrance taught. He used his fingers to play with her clit, pressing it into his forearm as he moved in and out of her.

"OhhhOHHHH!" she cried out. He felt her pussy spasm and tighten, squeezing his arm like a vice and wetting him with the fresh juices of her maregasm, dripping into his lap. He tried to pull back on his arm. Celestia trembled and shook. "Ahh ahh ah! Too much, too much!" she pleaded. He held still, buried to the elbow inside the Princess of the Sun. When her orgasm finally subsided and her pussy stopped pulsing and gripping him, he slowly began to slide his arm out of her. "Ooh ooh oohhh," she whimpered, shuffling her hooves. At last his hand slipped free of her with a wet 'plop'. She looked back at him as he got to his feet, still fully erect.

"You've been so wonderful," she said, "making me cum tonight. But look at you. You haven't gotten off even once yet."

"Ladies first, of course," he said with a polite bow.

"Well, I think it's your turn now," she said with a smile, waving her hips at him.

"As you wish-" he stopped short, walking up behind her. She looked back at him, with those deep, purple eyes. He held her cheek in his hand, "I love you." He kissed her.

"Put it in," she whispered. He frowned.

"It is in," he said. She looked back. Indeed his hips were pressed against hers, with his penis completely inside her.

"Oh, sorry." She blushed in embarrassment. He humped a few times. The reality of their inter-species tryst became clear. It wasn't that he'd stretched her out with his arm. Her marehood was just built for something a bit, a good bit, larger than any human could offer.

"No, I'm the one who's sorry. I just-" he pulled out, stepping away, "I just wish I could make love to you the way you deserve. Like a proper stallion." She walked over beside him, pulling him into another kiss.

"Now that is a good Christmas wish," she said. Her horn glowed, illuminating his human penis. He felt it tingle as she cast the spell.

And what happened then, well in Ponyville they say,
that his human cock grew three sizes that day.
And then, the true meaning of Christmas came through,
and he found the strength of ten stallions, plus two.

"Holy shit." He looked down the the behemoth horse cock protruding in front of him, and the balls to match between his legs, throwing him off his center of gravity. He stumbled and grabbed onto Celestia for support.

"Now, I believe you have a Princess to fuck," she said, kissing him before she turned back around. He leaned back, grabbing his massive meat with both of his hands to aim it. He rested it against her marehood, spreading her lips with his fingers and working the broad tip inside. "Now this is more like it!" she said. He had to agree. Aside from the size, the feeling was the same. But he could really appreciate the snugness of her now-tight pussy wrapped around his beast of a cock. He grabbed her tail aggressively and pulled her back onto him as he shoved his hips forward, hilting into her at once.

"AHhh!" Celestia cried in satisfaction. His new anatomy came with a new-found, massive sex drive to boot. Before she could even take another breath, he pulled back and slammed into her again, and again! He wrapped his arms around her waist, holding her tight, so she couldn't get away as he fucked her. He'd wished to be able to properly make love to her as a stallion. But make no mistake, this was not 'making love' as he'd envisioned. They didn't make love that night. They didn't even have sex. He fucked her.

And she loved it!

"It's been so long since I've had a stallion like this," she said.

"Oh, I'm sure stallions would be lining up, fighting each other over you," he said, as he rutted her.

"But when you're the Princess, everypony watches everything you do. It so hard to- OOHFF!" Her words were cut short as he grabbed her mane, pulling her back to him. "It's so hard to- to ah ahhh-" He licked her horn as he continued to thrust in and out of her, "to have a personal life," she finished. If what he'd said was true, about being 'above average' in size for a human, it must have translated with the spell, because he was definitely giving her the biggest dick she'd ever taken in her long life.

She braced herself. After all of the attention she'd given him before, she was certain that he wouldn't last much longer. But instead of cumming as soon as she thought, he quickened his pace. His stallion cock he gained. His human endurance he kept. His hips slapped against hers, his hefty balls, smacking against her clit with each thrust.

"I'm cumming!" Celestia cried out as another orgasm rolled through her body. Another building just as quickly with his unending stamina. He loved hearing those words. It turned him on so much. His already hard shaft was like a solid steel rod. The slapping noises they were making were causing the Clapper to turn the lights on and off like a strobe light at some kind of crazy inter-species sex-rave. It was giving the blue voyeur a headache.

"So much! So much!" Celestia cried. She'd never had a session of sex last so long. Such a concept was beyond her comprehension. "Ngaaahhh, I'm cumming again!" He felt her pussy grip his new stallionhood tightly, milking his shaft, begging for his cum. It was a war of attrition. She'd made this a night to remember for him. And he was intent on doing the same for her. He fucked through her orgasm, harder even. Celestia's orgasms were no longer peaks of pleasure, separated by valleys of build-up. Now they were a continuous plateau, holding her there in euphoric ecstasy. "Please!" she gasped between breaths, "Please! You have to finish! I can't take much more!" she pleaded. He sucked on her horn from behind, thrusting deeply. She felt his cock flare wide inside her. She knew what was coming next.

"Pull out! Please don't cum inside me!" She tried to push him away but the wetness of his mouth grounded out her magic. His balls tightened and his cock pulsed and throbbed inside her. He saw stars in his eyes as the most powerful orgasm of his life ripped through him. His giant dick tensed, his every muscle seized, bent on this one moment of release! He slammed it home, pressing his flared head squarely against her cervix as she felt the first rope of cum blast into her, painting her insides white. "Nooo! You'll get me pregnant!" she cried, even as she was rocked by another orgasm. He wrapped his arms around her tighter, holding her hoof over her stomach, feeling the bulge he was making in her belly as he continued to pour his seed into her, filling her up. Her pussy rippled around him as she came with him, milking his cock. He humped into her, his wide flare giving no exit for his semen, forcing it deeper into her womb. "You came inside me! Oh no, you really did!"

Luna watched as her sister tried to squirm free from the human's grasp. She'd gotten herself into this mess. And she wasn't about to try and swoop in to rescue her. Some lessons had to be learned the hard way. And there was no harder way to receive a lesson than the way he was slamming it into her. He continued to fuck her through his climax, adding more and more cum from his swollen balls, filling her to the brim. With no where else to go, each thrust he gave her now caused excess his cum, mixed with hers, to spurt out of her stretched pussy from around his cock, still buried inside her. He shoved his dick so deep that whosoever should be able to pull him out would be crowned the new king of England.

She finally managed to muster the strength to wrench her horn from his mouth and push him off of her with her magic. He fell back, only a little, his cock still lodged inside her. Another push with her magic and she pulled him out of her, his wide cock flare finally popping free, releasing all of the semen dammed inside her as it rushed out of her pussy in a white torrent. He fell back into his chair, grinning from ear to ear.

"I can't believe you came inside me!" she shouted, "After I told you not to. Why would you do that?"

"You said you wanted to do everything that I had written," he said. "Did you neglect the part where I knock you up?"

"What do you intend now?" Celestia asked. "Am I to take you as my suitor? Are you to tend to me when I am heavy with our foals? Fulfilling my sexual mood swings during my pregnancy? Suckling my teats when they become full with milk?"

"Don't threaten me with a good time," he said. Celestia's angry expression faded to a neutral smile.

"How did you know that you couldn't get me pregnant?" she asked.

"I didn't. I just knew that this would be my one chance to find out."

"That was incredibly reckless of you," she said, her shock relaxing. "Did you enjoy it?"

"You know I did, oh, most certainly," he said, motioning to the growing puddle under her legs. She was a very satisfied mare and sexually exhausted, utterly. She looked at the bottle on his desk.

"Is that liquor?" she asked. He nodded. "May I?" He stood up to get her a glass. His massive horse cock swung like a pendulum with each step, throwing him off balance. He came back with two glasses, pouring them each some of the whiskey.

"What should we drink to?" he asked.

"How about we drink to Christmas?" she suggested.

"Merry Christmas." They clinked their glasses and threw back the shots. His last clear memory.

He woke up in the morning, sitting at his desk. He was still wearing his boxers but his pants were nowhere to be found. The bottle on his desk was empty. Had it all been an alcohol-fueled dream? Sitting in his chair with his head pounding, he looked around frantically. There was no sign of Celestia. She was gone. Or more likely, she had never been there in the first place. Part of him was sad.

"No, no," he said aloud to himself, "do not cry because the dream is over. Smile because it happened." His own words gave him little comfort as he looked at the mistletoe, in the top of the archway. It was Christmas morning. He turned back to his computer. He was wise enough to keep some headache medicine in the desk. He pulled open the drawer.

Inside was a shimmering white feather quill and an ink well. On the parchment inside was a beautifully scrawled letter.

Keep it until next time!

-Celestia

He stood up in shock and immediately fell over. Not from the hangover, or from still being drunk. It was from being very off balance. He pulled down his shorts. He still had the massive horse cock that she'd blessed him with.

His mind was racing. And his head was still pounding. He really needed that headache medicine. He opened the other drawer.

Inside was a shimmering BLUE feather quill. On the parchment inside was a beautifully scrawled letter.

See you next!

-Luna

Bonus Chapter: Lunar New Year

One Year. A leap year, at that.

It had been three hundred sixty six days since that pony cursed him with this...

On Christmas Eve, he had wished for a night with Princess Celestia. And she granted that wish. And with that, she gifted him with the ability to please her properly. But not all gifts are blessings.

It was the best sex he'd ever had. And now, it looked like it would likely be the last time. Any man who wishes to be hung like a horse has clearly never thought about the reality of such a state. It had been 366 days since Princess Celestia had given him a stallion's penis in place of his own. And he used it to please her. Thoroughly!

"Keep it until the next time," her note said.

"See you next time," her sister's note read. New Year's Eve came and went. And so did New Year's Day. Princess Luna made no appearance. And his enormous penis remained. It, along with the notes and feathers were evidence that he wasn't dreaming that night, or crazy. It really happened. But it seemed now that this was the sort of trickery a mortal encountered when making deals with magical creatures they barely understood.

He grumbled, leaning over the toilet as he relieved his bladder. It practically hung into the bowl. His on-again off-again girlfriend was now, most definitely off, in a permanent way. I mean, imagine telling someone that a then-fictional pony princess, did then, one night materialize in your own living room and had mind-blowing sex with you? The only evidence there-of being the grotesque abomination hanging between your legs. The prior sounding crazy, and the latter, terrifying.

Even when he had prepared her, she could not handle the sight. She did not share his affinity for equine anatomy. And even if she had, the prospect of continuing their sexual relationship was physically nigh-impossible. She was not at all about to do the required 'stretching' to accommodate his new form. And to make matters worse, he hadn't been able to bring himself to climax since Christmas Eve, despite his very best solo efforts. His paltry human hands were simply not enough. It was agonizing. And it was beginning to look as though the only solution would be to actually seek out a mare of this world.

For all of his fantasy of pastel ponies in sexual situations, the reality of having sex with a horse from his world genuinely disgusted him. But it had been a year since he'd last had an orgasm. It was the longest he'd ever gone without one since he had first 'discovered himself' during puberty. It wasn't even Lent and he had gone more than forty days without that which he desired most. He would have sooner given up drinking water. But as desperate as he had become, he was not about to raid a ranch stable... Yet.

Romantic relationships aside, every aspect of his life became more difficult. It was like trying to go about one's daily life with a Pringles can strapped to your inner thigh with a couple of tennis balls at the base. Mere walking was a Herculean task in pants. After an awkward trip in sweatpants to a niche clothing shop, his new kilt was getting a lot of mileage. He was grateful that, at least, he was able to work from home for his job.

But worst of all... worst of all, his hobby suffered. Not the habitually-jacking-off one, the other one. His writing suffered. The only other thing in this world that made him happy aside from sex, or even the five-knuckle-shuffle, was his writing. He had cooked up a good one too, after his night with Princess Celestia herself. But there it remained, half-written in his computer, without ending. His anticipation, and subsequent disappointment in Princess Luna's arrival, coupled with his physical predicament, left him depressed.

He washed his hands and walked out of his bathroom, pants-less. Full commando was as comfortable as he could be. Although it meant keeping his heating bill higher than he would have liked. The winter brought with it, earlier darkness. It was barely six in the evening, and it looked no different from midnight outside. He got dressed and headed out.

He had signed up for a speed dating event. He didn't seek a partner for physical needs any longer. He had given up on that dream. He wanted only companionship for the coming holiday season.

He sat across from several lovely women. All of whom were surprised to hear him explain that he was seeking a strictly platonic relationship.

"Are you just shy?"

"No."

"Are you still a virgin?"

"No."

"Are you gay?"

"What? No!"

After a short while, several of the others seemed to be hitting it off rather well. Meanwhile, he just sat there by himself with his head in his hands.

"Twenty seven?" A girl asked. He looked up. She was an average height, slim, punk-girl with greenish-blue eyes and pale skin. Her long hair was dyed electric blue, held back with a black head-band. It moved and waved in the wind of the air vent she was standing under. She was wearing a navy-blue tank top with a biker jacket. Her black high-top Converse sneakers and striped knee socks did more to cover her lower half than her tiny skirt did.

"What?"

"Are you number twenty seven?" she asked again. He had slumped over the number tag on his table.

"Yeah," he groaned, pushing the crumpled tag out from under him.

"I'm Lena," she said, sitting down across from him. He introduced himself to her without enthusiasm, and made the usual introductory small talk. "You sick of this place too?" she asked. He gave her a surprised look.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I can obviously tell that you don't want to be here," she said.

"Oh, sorry."

"Don't apologize. I don't really want to be here either," she said.

"So why are you here then?"

"I was bored," she said as she twiddle her hair with her finger. "Seemed like fun. But these guys just seem to only want one thing. And I just know I would be disappointed."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. I mean, come on, don't act like it isn't what you want too," she said.

"It isn't."

"Ha. That's a lie," she laughed.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. I'm very good at telling when people are lying. And even if I wasn't, it's obvious that you were lying."

"How can you tell?"

"A girl can tell."

"..."

"Am I wrong?"

"Fine. I do want it. But I didn't come here tonight with that intention."

"Alright, here we go!" She slapped her hands together, rubbing them excitedly. "Some real answers." He just gave her a strange look. "Most of these people here," she pointed at the room, "they're acting. They're saying what the other person wants to hear. But I can tell you haven't been doing that."

"How?"

"You're sitting here by yourself."

"Touché."

"So I'm going to ask you questions, and you're going to answer them. And maybe you might just get what you really want," she said. He chuckled. "What have you got to lose?"

"Fine."

"Come on, let's just ditch this thing and get something to drink."

"Works for me," he said. They left the table where he had been sitting and moved over to the bar. She flagged down the bartender.

"Two long-island iced teas and a couple of jello shots," she said and turned to him. "Anything for you?"

"Uh, a dollar draft," he said.

He gave her a sideways look as her drinks began to arrive. She was barely five feet tall, and skinny as a rail. She drank the first iced tea as fast as you could pour it on the ground, and chased it with both jello shots in rapid succession.

"You know, you may want to pace yourself."

"You may want to kiss my ass!" she said, catching him a bit off guard with her language. "I've got the stamina of a horse."

"Heh,"

"What's funny?" she asked.

"Nothing, I just... never mind." He shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"So, how long has it been for you?" she asked.

"Since?"

"Since you last fucked," she asked, as plain as asking where he'd gotten his haircut. His mouth hung slightly ajar. "Oh what!? Fuck shit bitch ass cunt! There, now me swearing is old news."

"Kay." He sipped his beer.

"So? How long?"

"Almost a year. You?"

"Ugh. Feels like it's been centuries."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Why?" he asked. "I mean, do you just not want to or... I mean, because I'm sure that most any of these guys would be happy to oblige you."

"Like I said. I'm pretty sure I would just be disappointed with them," she said.

"But not me?"

"Why not you? You said that they would be happy to oblige me. Would you not?" she asked.

"I would..."

"But?"

"No. You first. Why are you so sure that you'd be disappointed?" he asked. She drank most of her second iced tea.

"You'd probably think I was a slut if I told you."

No, the fact that she didn't cross her legs or wear panties gave him that impression already. She looked like it had been freshly waxed with a little landing strip of pubic hair, dyed the same blue as her hair. She went through a lot of effort to get it looking that good. She was planning on showing it to someone. Some girls try too hard.

"I wouldn't think that," he said. She grinned and took another sip.

"I need a big dick," she said. He was at a loss for words. "Hey, some guys want a big butt, or big boobs. I want a big dick. And I can tell you have one." He glanced down at himself, checking to make sure that he wasn't sporting a serious bulge. He wasn't.

"Okay, I'll bite. How can you tell?"

"You slouch when you sit. You shuffle when you walk, like you're off balance. But you're clearly in shape and you're not wearing a back brace. And normally a guy who thinks he's got a big dick would have a big ego to go with it. But the fact that you don't means that you know you have a big dick."

"You got all that from the way I sit and walk?" he asked.

"No. The fact that it's been almost a year since you've last had sex, and that you're looking for a platonic relationship does. You've given up."

"So what are you, like, a detective?" he asked. She grinned and finished her drink.

"Like I said, a girl can tell," she said. He sighed.

"Okay, fine. It's true. I do."

"Well then, why don't we go on back to your place and..." she trailed off with a smirk. He sighed and surrendered.

"Yeah sure. You want a big dick? Let's go do this." He finished his drink. He knew exactly how this was going to go. They would get back to his place, and they would get as far as he could with foreplay, until at last he'd have to take off his pants and then she'd either laugh or scream, and then leave. Because it wasn't that he had a human penis, the size of a horse's. It was a horses penis, the same shape and all. And he'd be left disappointed again. Surprisingly she had decided to skip all of that.

No sooner had he closed his front door than she was already pulling at his belt buckle strap. "Whoa, easy there." Well at least now it would save him the time of getting himself worked up. The last button let go and everything dropped to his ankles. He mentally prepared himself for the inevitable. Her initial reaction was the usual gasp of utter shock as his massive horse cock flopped down, swinging almost to his knees. But instead of screaming, or laughing at the absurdity of it, her eyes lit up and she just sat and stared. Slowly, a wide grin spread across her face.

"Are you..." he was cut off abruptly as she took his massive dick with both of her hands, moving them up and down. It was the first time that anyone other than himself had touched it since Princess Celestia. The effect was immediate. He grew harder in her hands with each pump until at last her was fully erect. He became a little dizzy, standing there, losing so much blood flow from his brain to fill the enormous thing. Before his knees could give out, she stood and took him by his arm.

"Bedroom." She said. It wasn't a request for the location. It was a demand.

"Upstairs, on the left," he managed. She pulled him along through his own house, into his bedroom. She all but threw him onto his bed. She was strong for such a little thing. She slipped out of her skirt and threw off her top. Then she jumped on top of him. Her small frame knelt in his lap, straddling his legs. His cock laid against her belly, its broad stallion tip bumping against the bottom of her perky B-cups. It was almost as big as she was. She licked and spit all over the tip of it, working the wetness all over, getting about a quarter of the way down his shaft. And despite her best efforts, it simply wasn't going to fit in her mouth. After a few minutes, she lifted herself from the mattress and squatted over him.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" he said. "I appreciate the effort, but you must be drunker than you thought! Because there is no way you're going to be able to do that!" She rubbed the blunt tip against the smooth skin of her slit.

"I'll get it to fit," she said with confidence.

"Well, I don't know what kind of misleading porn you've been watching, but if you're really serious, you're going to need something besides spit to lubricate that. In my nightstand there's-"

"Shut up," she said, lowering more weight onto him. She held him in a firm grip with one hand, pressing the tip against her entrance, and struggled with the other to try to stuff it inside her relatively tiny opening. "Almost there..." she worked one half of one side of the tip in, rolling her hips a little. She took a deep breath and pushed the other side in after it with a grunt. "There! Hard part's over."

He had to admit, he was impressed. She actually managed to get the tip of it inside of her. Clearly she was a gal who was accustomed to taking a fist inside her. Or she owned some very impressive toys. And now that she had managed to prove that she could, next came the part where she realized the impossibility of actual sex and abandon the challenge of it.

Except she didn't.

She rocked her hips back and forth, pressing more of her weight down on him, slowly, agonizingly bit by bit, taking more of him. Another inch, two, then three. Her pussy was inflamed red, stretched taut around the massive intruder. She started to bob her hips a little, making tiny hopping motions, working her way further down. Another two inches. He began to see the massive bulge in her abdomen.

"Hey, hey! You really need to stop before you hurt yourself!" he said.

"I'm fine," she breathed.

"You're drunk! Can you not feel that!?" He stared at her belly as more of his cock pushed into her.

"Oh, yes I can!" she purred. She put her hand over her tummy, feeling his girth moving up inside of her. She worked her way further down, taking a third of him into her before stopping at last. For all his worries, she felt amazing! Her warm, soft wetness wrapped so tightly around him was pure heaven. She started to lift herself off and then back down again. He could feel his massive balls churning. If she could actually maintain this, he might actually be able to climax for the first time in months!

To his utter amazement, she kept her rhythm and balance. Her pussy made squelching noises as her copious wetness began to run down his shaft, aiding her movement. He could barely keep his eyes focused through the intense pleasure. It wasn't until her hips met his medial ring did he realize how far down she had managed to get. Each time she came down, it came to her stretched opening already at its limit. It was just barely too big.

"How are you doing thaaaHH-" his cry was cut off as at last, with determination she was able to slip his medial ring inside with a tactile pop.

"Oooaaaggghhh!" She let out a hearty moan, and stopped. He feared that she had ruptured one, or likely many organs. But before he could move to help her she went back to making little motions with her hips again. She kept trying to keep moving, refusing to let his medial ring slip out.

"Oh my god!" he cried out, feeling more of him going into her. "This is impossible!" With a final push, he felt her hip slap down against his. By his estimations, the tip of his dick was somewhere up inside her rib cage where several vital organs should have been.

"Tell me how good it feels!" she said as she moved her body up and down on his length. The sensations overwhelmed the ration parts of his mind.

"S-s-ama-mazing!" He babbled.

"Is this not the best sex you've ever had!?" she asked.

"F-fuck yeah!" he cried out. He could feel his balls getting tighter, filled to the bursting point.

"Tell me I'm the best!"

"You're the b-best!" he shouted. She moaned out. She could feel her orgasm coming quickly.

"You love fucking me!"

"Yes!"

"Say the words!"

"I love it!"

"Tell me I'm better than Tia!" she commanded.

"W-what!?"

"Tell me I'm better than my sister!" Lena ordered. She put her hoof on his chest as her body shimmered around him. Her small, pale form grew into a tall blue, pony form. All the while, never ceasing her motion on his cock. She leaned over him, with the size to be flexible enough to do so now, "Tell me you like fucking me better than Celestia!" Luna purred into his ear.

"Princess Luna!" he cried out. Her whole body trembled at the call of her name. Her pussy writhed and rippled around his meaty cock, tugging and milking him even more as her clit winked against his pelvis. She felt the euphoric ecstasy of her orgasm run through her in waves of tingling electricity.

"Yes! Scream my name!" she bellowed as her marecum soaked them both. Her horn began to glow. He felt a magic on his balls, at once making them even more prodigious, but also halting their advance.

"AAARGH!" he cried out, feeling his need to cum even greater than ever. She knew she had him right where she wanted. At her mercy.

"Tell me I'm better than Tia!"

"AGH! YES! YES!!!" He screamed. His vision went white as he felt the most powerful orgasm of his life ripping through him. It made his back arch up into her as she released her spell's hold on him and slammed her hips down a final time. She felt his cock slamming against her cervix. His tip flared wide, stretching her innermost barrier open. She could feel him swelling thicker, throbbing and pumping as he came. His first blast of cum erupted into her in a rush of hot whiteness, followed by a second, and a third in rapid succession, flooding her womb.

"Yes! Yes!" She moaned, "Fill me with your seed!" She threw her head back in triumphant laughter. His vision went dark as he skirted the edges of consciousness.

"ENOUGH!" Princess Celestia burst from his bedroom closet. Luna looked at her from her seat, straddling his hips still. She just smiled at her with a wicked grin. "Look at what you have done! You've nearly killed him!" Indeed, he struggled to breathe beneath the blue alicorn.

"I'm the best! Better than you Tia! He said as much!" Luna said.

"You were denying him orgasm! He would have said whatever you wanted him to, for release. That is hardly what I would consider fair."

"Ladies, ladies," he said, recovering his senses after a moment. "Isn't there some way we can resolve this? Perhaps with a sexy pillow fight?"

"NO!" they both said.

"It was the best orgasm of your life, yes?" Luna asked. "Admit it." She flexed her pelvic muscles around his penis still inside her for effect, gaining a groan from him.

"Luna, you used magic!" Celestia said. "That's cheating!"

"He has an equine penis!" Luna retorted. "I'm hardly the only one guilty of arcane abuse! The poor thing. He hasn't been able to mate all year! No human mare-"

"Woman" he corrected.

" - no woman could possible be able to take it! You cursed him to be unable to lay with any other besides yourself!" Luna said. Celestia blushed and looked away.

"It- that was not my intention!" Celestia said.

"Fear not. I shall fix this at last," Luna said. She lifted herself from him, letting him slip free of her marehood, spilling much of his cum as well. "I will restore your human penis," Her horn glowed.

"Wait!" he cried out. Luna stopped.

"Do you not desire to have mares- er, women of your own kind?" she asked.

"I do, but, you were right. This has been the best sex of my life! With each of you. But it had been a year's wait for me, so of course it seemed better. But that was subjective. Why did you wait a year to see me again?" he asked.

"I'm sorry," Celestia said. "The gateway between our worlds relies on magic. Not just ours, but from your world as well."

"But we have no magic," he said.

"But you do," Luna said. "There is one day each year where the magic of your world waxes strong. Strong enough for us to visit."

"It's a Christmas miracle," he said.

"I regret that it took a year for me to return to you. I did not mean to leave you with... that for so long." Celestia said.

"So, where were we?" Luna said, her horn glowing to restore his human anatomy.

"No, wait!" he said, standing up from the bed. "What I meant was, it just seems like an awful waste. I mean, here you both are. And there is a lot of Christmas Eve left..." he trailed off. "You two clearly have a competitive streak going on that we should settle and see who really is the best at sex."

"That sounds like a dare, Luna," Tia said.

"It's a double dare!" he said. The royal sisters exchanged a devious smile.

"Fine then," Luna said, rolling onto her belly with her legs hanging off of the edge. Celestia laid on the bed beside her. Each of them looked back at him and flagged their tails. He looked back and forth between the two glistening marehoods. His horse cock throbbed back to life, throwing off his balance and making it difficult for him to stand. All year he had cursed the burdensome thing for ruining his life. All year had had wanted nothing more than to be rid of it.

"You may begin by determining which of us has the tighter pussy!" Celestia said. He looked back down as his heavy mast and, for the first time in months, smiled.

It had been worth the weight.