The incubus

Fifty years ago...

Fuck

What a meaningful word. It can be used is so many different situations.

Double fuck…

Of course, the most prominent use of the word comes from the need to vent out frustration, not to mention that there is something overly satisfying in saying the word 'Fuck' aggressively.

Fuuuuuck…

I sure as hell won't stop saying it, but I have a very good reason why. Because you see… I'm fucked.

Hmm… maybe I should elaborate.

It all started last night. I was on my way back home from my friend's house when it started raining like crazy. Seriously this winter sucked. Anyway, my car decided that it did not need my front lights so they went out… just as I was driving next to a cliff.

Suffice to say, I don't think my car insurance will cover the amount of damage my shitty car sustained, though at the time I was more worried about the piece of metal that pierced my chest.

It was not fair. I was a decent person. I payed my bills on time, avoided drugs and alcohol, and worked hard. I did all this and asked for nothing in return. And what is my reward for this? A fucking metal rod through my heart. If I did believe in God then, I sure as hell do not believe in him now.

I tried to open my sore eyes only to hiss when the sun decided that I have not suffered enough. It took me some time to get used to the light and when I did I discovered something quite shocking.

"Where the hell am I?"

Nothing was how it was supposed to be. I lived in a small town on the mountains, with forests stretching for miles in every direction. Instead of the tall pine trees I expected to see, I was standing in the middle of field. Long grass stretched as far as the eye can see. On one side I saw a distant line of trees and on the other side loomed a huge mountain. A river flowed next to me with sparkling and seemingly clean water.

A sudden feeling of dryness forced me on my knees as I dunked my face into the water and drank greedily, the cool water felt so refreshing on my face and neck.

As I rose back up, the water trickled down on my body. One thing became apparent. I was butt naked.

"Oh come on! Really?!" I yelled.

I must have been exceptionally cruel to puppies in my past life to deserve this kind of punishment!

I would have probably stayed all day like that, wailing and cursing. But then I felt something behind me, or more precisely, on me. Some of the water that dripped down my back ran down on something that did not feel like my back. It felt it like it was part of my body but I've never felt anything like it before.

I turned my head and tried to look at my back to the best of my abilities, and that is when I noticed something truly fucked up.

Wings! I had bat-like wings!

I managed to grasp my new limb, bringing it to my front and careful not to pull too hard. It felt weird having wings, but also surprisingly natural. I let my new wing out of my grasp and managed to flex them just as easily as it would with my arms. I was so busy admiring my new wings that I jumped out of my skin when something brushed against my leg.

I looked down, ready to stomp the bug into paste when I saw what appeared to be a black snake crawling up my leg. Naturally, I stomped it.

"Mother fucker!"

Holy shit, that was my tail! I just stomped on my newly formed tail with full force! I fell down on the grass and curled into a ball of pain. During my time of misery, my wings instinctively curled around me, shielding me from the outside world. I would have freaked out if I was not in so much pain.

Once the pain on my tail turned into an aching thump, I regained my footing and examined my new tail. Just like my wings, it too, felt completely natural and I had full control of it. It was smooth and black, just like my wings, and ended with a flat heart-shaped tip.

"Huh, neat. Fucked up, but otherwise pretty neat," I mumbled. After that I decided to check the rest of my bodies for new oddities. My legs seemed pretty normal. So was my chest. I then approached the river and knelt down, examining my face.

At first I thought my face was fine, but then I detected a few black blobs reflecting of the surface of the distorted water. I brought my hands towards my head and started feeling it, and what I felt left me more than a little shocked.

Admittedly, I should have expected this by now, but I wasn't really thinking clearly. I had not one, but two pairs of black horns. The first pair was located above my forehead and it was barely visible against my dark brown hair. The second pair… well, there was no way in hell I could hide it. The second pair was located at the very top of my head and it was probably half the length of my face. And to put the cherry on the cake, I had freaking cat-like ears. I mean come on! I was not even sure I was a human anymore.

My head was drowning with thoughts and questions. How did I get here? Where exactly is 'here'? What happened to me?

I spent a good portion of my time freaking out. I kept touching my new body parts, mumbling how it was all just a dream and I was simply out cold on my friend's couch. But no matter how much I wanted it to be just a bad dream, everything simply felt too real, and I was reminded yet again of the fact that I was naked and it was about to turn night.

It wasn't until I head shuffling behind me that I snapped out of my thoughts. My ears swiveled –seriously, they did- towards the noise, and I soon afterwards.

What I saw completely threw me off guard.

Not ten feet in front of me stood a woman. Stupidly sexy woman I might add. She had the deepest shade of ginger hair I have ever seen and piercing dark blue eyes. Her face was lightly peppered with freckles across her cheeks and nose. Her body was completely concealed under thick layers of furs.

"Aren't ye cold?"

"Wh-what…?" I asked, dumbstruck.

She look down and pointed at my dick, her other hand shot across her mouth as she giggled. "You look a wee bit cold," she said with what sounded like a light Scottish accent.

I looked down and immediately covered my shriveling junk, cheeks heating up. I stammered for a few moments before I managed to find my words again.

"L-Look, I just woke like this, okay? I don't know where I am or what's going on."

The woman stopped giggling and stared at the sun, which was about halfway beneath the horizon. She then looked at me again with a strange look, sympathy perhaps? I could see an inner struggle reflecting on her eyes. Something was bothering her, and I seemed to be the main subject.

"Look, I know this sounds crazy, but you must believe that I'm a human like you. I do not know how I got the wings, or the tail, or the horns, but if you could just point me towards the nearest town I would be ever so grateful," I said.

The woman stared at me for a long while before she shook her head. "I can't let ye go, not like this. This place is dangerous when night falls, and our kind is not welcomed in towns." Before I could voice out my confusion, she spoke up again, "I know you are confused, but ye need to trust me. I could take you to someplace safe."

I exchanged looks between the setting sun and the woman, red flags went off in my mind. Should I really trust a stranger, especially as odd as this one? And what did she mean by 'our kind'?

More questions filled my mind as I pondered on my situation. Here I am, naked, lost, and with a few… extra features. yeah, let's call 'em that. And then there is this woman whom I have never seen before offering her aid.

"Well?" the woman urged. She offered her hand to me.

Oh, what the hell, nothing ventured nothing gained, right?

"All right I trust you," I said as I reached out to grab the woman's hand.

"Great!" Her hand suddenly grabbed mine by the wrist and pulling me closer to her. I could feel her arm snaking across my back, securing me against her body. And just when I thought things could not get any weirder, two black bat-like wings sprouted from the woman's back as she shot off the ground with me held in her arms screaming in terror.

The woman simply laughed as she looked down at me, that's when I noticed that she also had two pairs of horns, cat-like ears and- much to my horror and confusion- bright yellow slitted eyes.

"By the way-" she shouted over the howling wind. "-my name is Alana. What's yours?"

"D-David!" I yelled.

And as I sailed through the sky in the clutches of a she-demon, only one prominent thought penetrated my mind.

'Fuck!'