Chapters Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
There isn't much worse in this world than feeling unwanted or unloved. This usually wasn't really a problem for a shy, yellow, pegasus mare in Ponyville by the name of Fluttershy. But this morning, she lay in bed and stared at the ceiling intently. Her skin crawled at the idea of getting out of bed without a plan.
She had to win the heart of her love. She had to find some way to make Anonymous hers. But, there was a major, major problem.
Fluttershy sighed, rolling over in bed.
Despite all of her best efforts to court the human, guess his preferences, sweet talk him, mean talk him, get in his pants, ignore him, glomp him, and even spy on him, she had absolutely zero idea how to make him hers. It's not like she had any competition. None of the other mares in Ponyville had any interest in Anon. Mostly because of the whole 'different species' thing. Which, she really didn't see the big deal in.
And for some reason, that made some ponies uncomfortable.
Yet, despite zero competition, zero roadblocks, and zero other suitors, Anon hadn't even payed Fluttershy a single thought. Hell, he hadn't even settled for Fluttershy.
Which, right now, as she stared at the ceiling, she was just masochistic enough to be okay with.
"Is there anything I haven't tried yet?" she asked the dead quiet room.
A few birds outside chirped, providing the best possible response she was going to get. Which, when it was translated through Fluttershy ears from bird speak, amounted to: "Man, it's late this morning. Think we aren't getting any food?"
Fluttershy sighed and finally stumbled out of bed, deciding that she would take her morning trip to Anon's house anyway, despite not having a fetish to guess.
Fluttershy walked down the road to Anon's home slowly, still trying to find some way to salvage the situation.
"Have I tried futanari yet?" she asked herself. "Yeah... I think so... what about glory holes? Oh. Right. I remember that one...."
She raised her head as she watched a familiar human approaching her on the path.
"Wait, Anon?" she called out to the human.
Anon groaned as he passed by her.
"No time for a guess today. I got to shop, bad."
"So bad that it can't wait for a punchline?" she asked.
"We're not getting meta today. Stop it."
"O-oh. Okay. W-well. I'm going to go help reorganize your things," she said. "I-if that's alright with you."
"Yeah, fine whatever," he said. "I need TP now. Do whatever you want. Just don't touch my stuff."
Anon waddled by Fluttershy as she stared past him.
'So, does this mean I can touch his things, or I can't?' she thought to herself. 'There was an okay in there somewhere. I'll take that as a yes.'
A smile curled on the pegasus's face as she trotted towards his home with a new spring in her step. Finally, after all this time, she could finally move the plant that she kept kicking every time she snuck into his home to watch him sleep.
Fluttershy opened the door to Anon's home and closed it behind her. The layout wasn't unfamiliar, but it was odd to finally be in here with some form of... well, consent. Informed consent no less.
'Maybe this is a sign...' she thought to herself. 'Maybe I should just try to be nice more often and not try to win Anon's heart through getting into his bed. Maybe I should just see if he wants to go on a date some time.'
Fluttershy looked around, then moved the potted plant that was close to the window.
'Nonsense. Now then, where's his underwear drawer?'
The pegasus developed a blush as she fluttered up the steps of Anon's home to his bedroom. Stepping inside his room, she took a moment to simply enjoy the scene. The dirty clothes on the floor screamed 'I need someone to take care of me.' The blanket pulled away on one side of the bed said to her 'If only there was another pony sleeping in here with me...' The empty soda cans on the dresser said... Well. He liked soda.
Fluttershy pulled open the top drawer to reveal her prize. Row upon row of clean, folded, and ready for use boxers. She smiled and immediately went for her favorite pair: The Heart-Breaker.
She named it that because it was white and covered in hearts. Then, when she was tossed out of his home for trying to steal them, she broke Anon's mailbox on accident. To be honest, he probably could have aimed better, then she would have hit the mud puddle like he had wanted.
Fluttershy sighed and took a big whiff of the undergarments, but sadly they only had the lasting scent of dryer lint and fabric softener. She placed them back, but noticed something else in the drawer; Something other than underwear. Sitting in the back of the drawer, hiding under several pairs of old boxers, was what looked like movies. Fluttershy pulled each box out individually and read their titles aloud.
"Hardcore Human Sluts 4? Taking it Big and Taking it To The Limit? Barely Legal and At School?"
Fluttershy smiled as she shuffled through the movies. It was porn. There was no doubt about that.
Fluttershy was no stranger to porn, that was the thing about being one of the quiet ones. Something something; Crazy sex mare cliche.
But the important thing that kept her attention was that she hadn't seen these before. Which also wasn't really a shock. She couldn't have claimed to watch every porn in the world... but, this had humans on the cover.
This was human porn. Maybe this was it.
"Maybe... maybe if I take these home... I can learn the human mating call..." she whispered.
Fucking Fuck. Fucking Fuck fuck.
Of course. You left for 15 minutes, and Fluttershy stole your porn. Awesome.
Great. Peachy. Swell.
You pace your home, trying to figure out what the hell to do next.
Do you file a stolen item report to the police? She usually just brings everything back when she's done with it. So, it could certainly be much worse. Plus, going to the police about stolen porn doesn't particularly sound like the best use of your day.
But, goddamnit, you have a SYSTEM.
Step one: Wake Up.
Step two: Shit, Shower, Shave. In that order. You were lucky that it was that order, because today you were out of toilet paper. But it still felt wrong. So wrong. You shudder as you continue your internal monologue.
Step three: Have breakfast interrupted by Fluttershy's Fetish guess.
Step four: Finish a cold breakfast, then complain about it.
Step five: Jerk off.
Step six: Loiter around town and pester other ponies until someone pities you enough to love you.
It was a flawless plan.
BUT! You were now at least five hours late to complete step five and a part of you was beginning to feel antsy. Maybe she isn't coming back today. Sure, you could always just jerk off without porn.
But shit. Then you'd have to use your imagination, or something.
That just seems like work.
Plus, those videos were the last thing holding you to some sense of sanity in this world. Without them... you might actually consider having sex with a horse. You shudder at the thought.
Running a hand through your hair, you try to take a deep breath.
"Well, shit. I guess the best I can do now is try to follow step six. Ugh. Fucking Fluttershy..." you mutter under your breath.
Walking out of your home, you slam the door behind you and make your way into town. Shoving your hands into your pockets, you wonder how long it's going to be before Fluttershy brings your porn back. You suppose you could just... confront her about it.
However, something tells you that's a way too easy and convenient way to end the situation.
Instead, you need to find some way to complain about it.
Pinkie Pie usually listens when you have something to complain about. Even if it's because she's a waitress at a bakery that makes just enough to get by and your tips are what helps her make a decent livelihood. You push your way past the ponies in town and open the door to the bakery with significantly more force than necessary.
"Oh! Hey, Nonny!" Pinkie greets. "How are you?"
"It's way too complicated to explain," you answer, approaching the counter.
Pinkie scoffs, then shakes her head.
"Is it Fluttershy again? I swear Anon, I don't see why you don't finally just go on a date with her."
"Dude," you reply. "Are you crazy? That pony is bonkers. There is NO WAY I'd ever go on a date with her."
Pinkie shakes her head, but makes her way over to the other end of the counter.
"Right. Right. Whatever you say, Nonny."
"You don't believe me?"
"Nnnope! I've known Fluttershy for years. I swear, Nonny. You just gotta give her a chance. She's the sensitive type, not the-"
The bell that hangs on the door jingles. Fluttershy opens the door to Sugarcube Corner with a proud look on her face. Mr. and Mrs. Cake walk into the room, holding Pumpkin Cake and Pound Cake.
"Oh! Hey, Fluttershy, we were just talking about you!" Pinkie says.
Fluttershy takes a deep breath as she approaches Anon.
"Anon..." the pegasus says. "Can I ask you a question?"
You groan and place a hand over your eyes...
"Do you think I can pay you in... any other way?"
"What?"
"What?" Pinkie asks blankly.
"I could... take care of this BIG problem of yours..." she says in a low, seductive voice.
"Fluttershy, what?"
"I need some extra sausage on my pizza. And in my mouth," she says.
The cakes look at each other, then cover their foal's ears.
"Please Daddy, give it to me..." Fluttershy moans.
Pinkie's jaw drops. You turn tail and begin to walk out of the bakery. You have absolutely no idea why Fluttershy suddenly began spouting porn dialog at you, but you do not have even a little bit of patience for this.
"I want to be your little slut!" Fluttershy calls after you, following you out of the bakery.
"Fluttershy, go away."
"I need you to clean the pipes!" she cries desperately.
A little filly across the street is yanked by her mother to pick up the pace.
“Fuckin, people are looking."
"B-but... it's my first time, Anon!"
You pick up the pace, but she flutters into the air and keeps up with you.
"STOP!"
"M-my husband doesn't have to know... you know..."
"YOU. AREN'T. MARRIED."
"B-but."
You stop then turn to her.
"PLEASE TELL ME, YOU DON'T THINK, THAT PORN DIALOGUE, IS GOING TO GET YOU IN MY PANTS."
She remains silent, unsure of how to answer your question.
"Oh my god, Fluttershy," you groan, throwing your hands into the air.
"W-well, I thought it was like a mating call and-"
“NO! No. That's not how it works! No. Just N-"
"My daddy taught me not to be ashamed of our dicks," Fluttershy says.
You stare at her. She stares at you.
"My place. Five minutes," you mutter.
"O-ok."
Author's Note
This is anonpencil's fault.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You know, most of the time waking up isn't a terrible experience for people. Yet, you always seem to be the exception to most rules. You wake up and immediately feel dread at the idea that your every day pattern is going to continue.
You rise to your bed, wondering if you can somehow afford to not do anything today. Watch a movie. Play a game. Anything.
Stopping in your bathroom, you ponder your morning routine. The good ol' Triple S. Shit, Shower, and Shave. You head into the bathroom and do your dirty deed, but decide you'd rather have some food in your stomach before you clean up your body.
You take a deep breath and head downstairs unclean and unshaven to make some breakfast. Your ears are on full alert, awaiting the knock at your door that seemed to give you high blood pressure.
Except, she likely didn't account for today's change in routine. With the little bit of extra time, you actually manage to clean the dishes for once. But then, of course, the routine knock on the door.
You head to your front door, wondering why you continue to put up with this schick. You open the gate of your home to, once again, find Flutterbutter.
"Fluttershy, I have a lot of very important nothing to do today, so hurry up."
"But, today I have three guesses Anon!"
Ugh.
"Whatcha got?" you ask, leaning against the door frame.
"Are showers filled with broken glass your fetish?"
You look down at the beaming bundle of happiness with a bad feeling in your gut.
"Uh... no."
She looks disappointed, but resolute.
"Okay, I knew that one might not go well... but what about sinks that release acid?"
You look to your kitchen sink with a little bit of confusion.
"No. What's the last one?"
She thinks hard.
"It's coming to me... I just need to remember it."
A bad feeling rests in the pit of your stomach.
"Well while you are doing that... I need to check something."
You run upstairs to your bathroom. Opening the shower stall, you gaze in at a floor of broken glass. Closing the stall, you move cautiously to the sink. Putting a roll of toilet paper in the sink, you turn on the faucet. The paper disintegrates before your eyes.
Oh shit.
What's the last one?
You run downstairs and grab the yellow pony by the neck.
"WHAT'S THE LAST ONE!" you scream.
"A-Anon.. that hurts," she chokes.
"WHAT'S THE LAST ONE!"
Dropping her to the ground, she works hard to catch her breath.
"Is catching AIDS from toilet seats your fetish, Anon?"
You stare at her. The world stands still for just a moment.
"Fluttershy, if you don't go home. Right now. I will take a knife, and do unspeakable things."
She looks at you in wide eyed horror and flutters off.
Well, looks like talking to a doctor just got put on your list of things to do today, because you got pony AIDS from fucking Fluttershy.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Golden rays of sunlight makes it's unwelcome entrance into your room. This is the fourth straight night without any form of sleep. It's not for any lack of trying, insomnia has simply made you it's bitch.
Your entire body feels sore and it feels as if grease is running through your veins. Maybe today would be a good day to take a sick day and get some rest.
Oh yeah.. you couldn't.
Not after Applejack caught you pulling pranks with Pinkie on your sick day. The look on AJ's face before the cream pie collided with her face was priceless though. Totally worth it.
Forcing yourself to sit upright is a difficult task and the bathroom feels miles away.
Coffee. You need coffee before you do anything else.
The brown gold is your only motivator as you slog your way downstairs. A part of you isn't sure how to feel about that.
Setting some water on your stove to boil, you hear the familiar knock on your door.
Shit.
Is it that late already?
You are going to be late for work. Again.
Rubbing the sand out of your eyes, you make your way to the door. You reach out to grab the handle, but miss. Maybe you aren't safe for society today.
After your fourth attempt at grabbing a door handle, you swing the door open to reveal the familiar yellow pegasus standing at your doorstep holding a small purple vial. A groan manages to escape your lips as you bury your face in your hands.
"I don't know what it is, but it's not my fetish. I'm too tired for this shit today."
Fluttershy's eyes go wide and she smiles.
"I-I know Anon. That's why I got this sleeping potion for you instead of asking for your fetish."
You give her a hard look.
"Yeah. A SLEEPING potion. How do I know this isn't a big trick?"
Fluttershy looks offended.
"Anon! I w-would never give you something that I t-thought would hurt you! I-I love you!"
"Yeah sure. Whatever."
You slam the door in her face and move back to your boiling water. Taking it off the heat, you look into your cabinet to find your instant coffee.
"Salt, Pepper... Nutmeg, Cinnamon.... Where is the coffee?"
Then it hits you. You were all out of coffee and too tired to buy any from the store yesterday. Falling to your knees, your eyes begin to water from the loss of your only friend.
"He was so young... and so... delicious."
There is only one thing left to do. Quickly move to the front door to catch her before she leaves. You rip the door open to find Fluttershy hasn't moved an inch.
"Do you always just sit there and wait?"
She looks down at the ground and plays with her hair.
"W-well I didn't know if you might change your mind... and I always follow you to Sweet Apple Acres and watch you work."
"Wait... What? No. Never mind. I don't care. Just gimme the potion."
She hands the little vial to you and slam the door in her face again.
"Finally... some sleep."
You make your way back upstairs and uncork the vial of potion. The aroma of the drink reminds you of fresh lilacs. Bringing the potion to your lips, you begin to gag, but choke down the remainder of the foul liquid.
"There... finally. Some sleep. I guess Applejack will just-"
A massive yawn causes you to break your self-monologue.
"have to suck my dick."
Tucking yourself back into your bed fortress, you feel the clutches of sleep consume you.
The hours pass like seconds, and your eyes shoot open to reveal your magnificent room being filled with beautiful rays of sunshine. You hop out of bed, and stretch yourself out from your head to your toes.
"That was amazing! I gotta remind myself not to kick Fluttershy in the face so much."
Skipping into your bathroom, you notice a small envelope tucked into your mirror. You pull it out. On the front 'Memories' is written with a little heart.
"Oh shit. What happened?"
Opening the envelope, inside are several crudely taken selfies of Fluttershy and Applejack. One of Fluttershy riding your dick cowgirl style wearing Applejack's hat. Another one of them both sucking on your ballsack.
Finally, one more picture of Applejack sucking your dick, with a small note that says 'Wish granted.'
You set the photos on the sink and look at yourself in the mirror.
"That was probably the easiest trick in the book... and I just fell for it."
You move away from the sink and prepare a burning hot shower.
As you step inside, and let the water gradually turn your skin red, you wonder if the price for that sleep was worth it. You viciously clean your privates, but they still feel dirty.
Stepping out of the shower, you prepare yourself for your shave. Despite having two mares take advantage of you while you sleep, you still feel pretty darn awesome. Even if you lost this battle, the war isn't over by any means. For now, you are just going to enjoy your day and maybe try to find another job.
As for the rape... eh. Doesn't matter, had rest.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Sitting at the table for breakfast, you place your bowl of warm oatmeal in front of you and watch the snow gently cascade outside. It's really quite romantic, watching the landscape become a carefully scooped bowl of vanilla, contrasting from the gentle green sea of grass in the summertime.
You dig your spoon into your meal and bring a steaming helping of cinnamon sugar oats to your lips. Three quick gentle knocks at the door tear your attention away from your winter delight, and you rise from your seat with mild curiosity.
Could it be Fluttershy?
The timid yellow Pegasus who's heart is set a flutter by your very presence, but believes the way into your heart is through consummation? Surely not, for the frigid air outside would be unfit for any creature. With a firm pull, the door opens, revealing your guest, much like a chest would contain a treasure.
"Good morning Anon," sings the goldenrod pony. "I wrote you a poem today!" she exclaims with much glee.
"Alright. That's refreshing. Let's hear it. "
Perhaps, she finally figured it out. Pulling out a small piece of paper, she begins to read in a sweet, gentle tone.
"Roses are red, Violets are Blue. Poetry is hard. Let me fuck you."
You stare at the yellow pony, adorned in blue booties and a blue winter hat as she beams up at you.
"Did you like it?" she asks gleefully.
"No."
The echo of the door slam pierces the chest of the tranquil snowfall. Icy tears follow Fluttershy on her way to her warm home.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You stand at a bookshelf containing all your favorite novels.
"Let's see... Office Love... Barkeep... Moonie Shorts... Falling for You... Sonic Boom..."
You pull a book off the shelf and examine it closely.
"Background Pony?"
You stare at the book for a moment. Placing the book back in it's proper place, you ponder what you're doing with your life. You set the bookshelf on fire.
"I don't even care," you say out loud, watching the flames burn.
Suddenly there is a knock at your door. You walk to the door, unfeeling and uncaring. You open the door and of course, it's Fluttershy.
However, today she seems to be wearing some form of uniform. It looks really odd on her, but feels vaguely familiar.
"Well. Let's hear today's guess," you say as the flames spread to your living room.
She sits down and puts on the most adorable face she can muster.
"Oni-chaaan~~!" she calls.
You just stare at her awkwardly. God that's cute.
"Oni-chaaan! I-I was hoping that you w-would teach me about my body~! <3"
Aaaand now it's creepy.
"What the fuck are you even doing?"
Blush marks appear across her face as she puts her hooves together and pushes them together shyly.
"I-I was thinking maybe big brother would want to do the thing that mommies and daddies do. I prooomise I won't tell!<3"
"Flutter. This.... whatever the fuck you are doing, isn't my fetish. Go home."
She puffs out her cheeks and pouts.
"F-Fine! It's not like I like you or anything... B-Baka!"
Suddenly, your pants become significantly tighter. Shit. Shit! She can't see. She can't find out! Close the door!
You slam the door on your boner.
"Fuck!"
Bring the tent you were pitching inside and slam the door shut. She must never know how close she was to guessing your fetish.
Fucking Tsunderes.
You go back to sit on your couch, as the fire begins to envelop the rest of your home. You smile, uncaring, unfeeling towards your television screen.
“This is fine.”
Author's Note
Note: This story does not reflect the actual opinions or values of Fanfiction for Flutterpriest. All those stories are great.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
"Shoo bee doo! Shoo Shoo-"
You smash your waterproof alarm clock with every ounce of strength you have. Looking outside your protective water tight home, it looks like an average day under the sea. See, a part of you thought that it would be smart to move away from Ponyville and instead live in the one single place that Fluttershy couldn't touch you. Under the ocean. Sadly, you were wrong, and now you still had to endure the same typical morning drill.
You head downstairs and pour yourself some Ocean Berry Crunch cereal. Now with extra vitamin sea!
Whatever the fuck that meant. It tasted good though.
You hear a buzz from the front of your passage to the outside ocean. Sighing, you know that this can't be good. Who would have thought that moving into a seapony colony would have Fluttershy turn herself into a seapony.
What the fuck? No. Seriously. What the fuck? How does that even work? Does that involve some sort of Zecora bullshit or something?
You put on your protective ocean suit and your massive diving helmet. Maybe you should take something to defend yourself today. Looking at the coffee table, you see a massive over sized drill.
"I don't own that. Why is that in my house?"
You enter the transfer chamber and turn on your oxygen. Looks like it's working fine.
The chamber begins to fill with water as you see FlutterFish swimming peacefully outside your home. Moving outside, the underwater suit projects your voice to the yellow seahorse.
"Alright. What's your guess today?"
"Oh... Um... Is the f-father carrying the child your fetish?"
"No."
"Oh... Well. Um. We should probably go see a doctor then."
You sit there for a moment taking her words in.
"What?"
She nods to you.
"You mean... right now."
She nods.
"I've been thinking about what she could be called. A Satyr Seapony? Maybe a Merfolkpony. Or-"
Nope. NOPE.
"NOPENOPENOPENOPENOPE."
You begin to wave your arms in panic. Slowly, of course, because you are underwater.
You actually look more like to trying to scare a bear away. Pitifully.
"A-Anon.. What are you-"
"THIS ABOMINATION IS NOT MEANT FOR THIS WORLD!"
You unhook your oxygen tank and breath in deeply. Water begins to fill your lungs and you feel heavy. You begin to cough, but the water runs too fast. Everything goes black.
You wake up in a seapony hospital room, attached to oxygen. Seaponyshy sits in the corner, cradling something in her arms.
How long were you out? Are you still? You rub your stomach.
Flat.
Awesome! Not fat!
"Oh! Hi there Anon. Do you want to see the first Satyr that can breathe underwater?" Fluttershy asks.
Your screams could be heard for nautical miles.
"She even said her first words too!" she adds.
The abomination crawls out her mama's hooves.
"Shoo Bee Doo! Shoo Shoo Bee Doo!"
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You walk home in the dark from a long day at work. Fire fills your muscles as every step brings you closer to your home. All you want to do is take a nice relaxing bath. You open the front door and close it behind you, kicking off your shoes.
As you head up the stairs to your bathroom, you shed your clothing one piece at a time. Just before you kick off your underwear, you notice a light on in your bathroom.
Oh great, of course.
Slowly, you open the door to find...
"Hello Anon... are rubber duckies your fetish?"
You stare at the yellow mare.
"Fluttershy, you don't look like a rubber ducky.
She scrunches her face.
"I do too look like one."
"No you don't. You just look like a pony taking a bath."
"What are you talking about! I got the little wing and my nose comes out like a little bill and everything."
"No. You don't."
"Then why don't we get another opinion then!"
"Fine."
"Go get somepony."
"No, you."
Fluttershy groans in irritation and flies out the bathroom window. After a few moments, Fluttershy drags in a thoroughly confused Rainbow Dash.
"Uh... What am I doing here?"
"Just stand next to Anon."
Rainbow moves towards Anon and sits beside you.
"Hey, Rainbow,” you say.
"I dunno what this is, but you owe me for it."
"Alright. Now Rainbow," Fluttershy asks.
Fluttershy sits in the tub and smiles widely. A light squee leaves her lips.
"Dang! That's a good rubber duck impersonation," Rainbow says in surprise.
"SHE DOES NOT LOOK LIKE A FUCKING DUCK!"
"Uh. Yeah, she does," the blue pegasus responds.
"See! Told you!"
"That's not the point! Ugh!"
You grab the two mares and chuck them out the window. God damn mares. All she had to ask if wet ponies were your fetish and you would have laid that ass SO hard. When will she ever learn?
Author's Note
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
"Uhm, Anon?"
"What?"
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Is it about fucking?"
"No?"
"How are you not sure?"
"I'm not?"
"Then stop saying that as if you are unsure."
"Why?"
"Because you are annoying as fuck."
"Are you saying asking questions isn't your fetish?"
"Oh, for the love of fuck."
"Uhm... well. Instead, can I ask something else?"
"Jesus Christ. Just leave me alone."
"..."
"Now don't look at me with those eyes, you know they won't work, bitch."
"..."
"Fine. What?"
"Will you rub my tummy?"
"..."
"..."
"You gotta be fucking kidding me."
"N-No! I got a tummyache and it really hurts. Could you rub it for me?"
"..."
"..."
"No."
"But whhyyy?"
"Cause I know you are going to turn it sexual."
"No! I'm serious, Anon. My tummy really, really hurts."
"..."
"..."
"You owe me."
"Mmmm. That feels a lot better."
"Yeah? Right there?"
"Yeah, right there. Except-"
"I'm not going any lower."
"N-no. Not that. Could you... tell me something?"
"Oh god. What?"
"Could you tell me I'm a good pony?"
"..."
"..."
"I'm not going to lie to you."
"..."
"Stop it. You know I hate the eyes."
"..."
"Ugh. Fuck. You are a good pony."
Fluttershy squeals and lies on her back, smiling.
"Am I done now?"
"Uhm... I guess."
"What do you mean, I guess?"
"Well, if you don't want to help me then I guess I'm not going to ask you to do anything else."
"What the hell do you mean by that? I'm a good person! I help people when they need help."
"Really?"
Five Hours Later
"Well, I guess I don't need help with anything else," Fluttershy says.
"Well, honestly. I'm surprised you didn't ask me to do anything sexual. All we did was play with your animals and talk about your self-image issues all day."
"It was really nice. I don't normally get to talk to many of the other ponies..."
"Yeah. It was nice..."
"..."
"..."
"Uhm, Anon?"
"Yeah."
"Would you... like to... uhm."
"OH! No bitch. Stop right there. There ain't no way in HELL we are fuckin. So just give up on that thought."
"..."
"..."
"Same time tomorrow?" Fluttershy asks.
"Oh, yeah. Certainly."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You wake up and your entire body is numb. Not particularly the best way to start your day.
As you gently open your eyes, you examine your surroundings. A hospital room?
No wait...
This is your bedroom made to LOOK like a hospital room. There is even little flowers and cards saying get well soon. All of them signed by-
"Rise and shine, Anon! How are you feeling?"
Fluttershy, dressed as a nurse, strolls into your bedroom holding a clipboard. You try to move your arms and legs, but you find yourself paralyzed.
"I feel like I got hit by a fucking rock!" you moan.
"Oohh! That's because I hit you with a giant rock." she squeaks proudly.
A large smile spreads across her face as she moves towards you and checks your life monitors. Except they aren't monitors. They are boxes with paper taped over them that look like meters.
Wait. Then what the hell is in your arm?
"Alright. Joke's over Fluttershy," you say exasperatedly. "Let me out of this."
"Ooh. I can't."
"Why the fuck not!" you scream.
"W-well... I didn't mean to COMPLETELY paralyze you... and now I dunno how to fix that... so if I leave you... you'll die."
You lay there in shock.
"Well take me to a goddamn doctor!"
"But... uhm you see... I-if I do that Anon... I could get in big trouble. But don't worry... Mama is going to make you feel allll better! I even have a rigorous exercise routine to fix you!"
She shows you her clipboard schedule.
Rape
Breakfast
Rape
Lunch
Try to walk.
Rape
Dinner
Dessert (aka Rape)
Consensual Sex
Sleepy time.
Rape while asleep. (ssshhhh. It's a secret.)
You look up at your captor in fear. The sudden realization sweeps over you that there is absolutely no way to escape her this time.
"Fluttershy... you don't have to do this... I know you are kinder than this... I can ask that they don't get you in trouble..." you plead.
"Don't worry Anon," Fluttershy smiles as her face moves nearer to you.
She plants a kiss on your lips.
"Mama is going to make you feel all better now."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You wake up in the middle of the night. The overcast clouds outside block out the serene beauty of Luna's moon. Not that you would see though.
You are sleeping in your basement, peacefully. It was much darker and helped you sleep better. You lie in bed, staring Into the pitch black, when you hear the door from upstairs creak open. Sitting up, you futily strain your eyes.
"Aaanon... " The malevolent voice of Fluttershy chants.
You silently edge off your bed and sneak under your bed for safety. Her hoofsteps edge closer and closer to your location. A drip of sweat runs down your brow.
" I'm just going to loove you Anon... "
A loud crash rings through the room, originating from Fluttershy's position.
"Ouch! I'm okay... I'm okay."
Another loud crash and a scream comes from Fluttershy.
"Anon, could you light a candle or something? It would be much easier to-"
She runs into your bedside table and groans in frustration.
"Sugar Honey Iced Tea! Forget it! I'll just come back tomorrow."
It looks like tonight was.... 10dark5her
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
It’s another lonely night in Equestria. You eye your telephone carefully, unsure if this is really worth it. Sure, it's hard to find someone special in Equestria... but this... might actually be unhealthy.
You sigh.
"Fuck it."
You pick up the phone. All you have to do is imagine there is a human on the other line. That’s all you have to do.
You dial the number Big Mac told you about and put the phone up to your ear. The phone begins to ring.
”If you would like to talk to hot, sexy fillies near you, please put in your credit card number now.”
You sigh at the word filly. After putting in your number, you put the phone back up to your ear.
”Just one moment.”
The phone rings, until you hear the other side pickup.
”Mmm… Hey there big boy… I heard you were feeling a little lonely tonight.”
Well, off to a good start.
"Yeah… a little." you mutter into the phone.
”Well mama is going to make it alll better. Mmm. You sound so sexy. Tell me your name big boy.”
Uhh…. Shit.
"My name is Mous."
”Ohh. Mous… Well. My name is Shy… and I’m going to make you feel amazing.”
Wait.
"Shy? As in…. Fluttershy?"
The line goes quiet.
”Mous? A-As in Anonymous?”
You go quiet. Fuck it.
"My place. Five minutes."
”I’ll be right there.”
You spend the next 5 minutes pulling on your best clothes, making your bed and spraying on as much deodorant as possible. A knock on the door grabs your attention.
Were you really going to do this?
Stumble downstairs and stop dead in front of the door. You take a deep breath. You need this, Anon. You've been pent up for months.
You open the door. Fluttershy peers up at you, wearing a lovely lime green dress. She put way more effort into her appearance than you did, it seems. The pair of you eye each other up for a second.
Then the pegasus launches herself forward and locks her lips against yours. You hold her up to your body tightly, a hand clutching her butt. You use your free hand to slam the door shut.
The two of you make your way upstairs, lips locked and adrenaline pumping. You nearly fucked her right there on the steps.
You kick open your bedroom door and run over to your bed, your partner breaking contact for a second to muss up her mane and get under the covers. Rip off your shirt, buttons flying everywhere. Your pants soon follow before you join your ‘date’ in your bed.
"Fucking hell."
Fluttershy gazes into the distance, drooling.
"That was exactly what I needed."
She doesn't reply.
"You alright, Flutters?"
”S-stallions…Usually... Last 20 seconds… In bed…”
Looks like you broke her. Fuck yeah, humanity.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Fluttershy found herself in the middle of her massive walk in closet. Inside was a wide array of tools and costumes that lined the walls that aided her in the attempt to discover Anon's Fetish.
She could probably sing a song about looking at this stuff, and saying it's neat, but that's for a different story.
"Maybe Anon would like catmares..." she muttered to herself, taking a set of yellow kitty ears off of a massive row of hats.
Tactically placing them in her hair, she looked in a mirror to examine her semi-feline appearance. She raised a hoof in the air and gave her reflection a wide smile.
"Hi, Anon! Do you like catmares? Mew?"
She traced her eyes over the well coordinated act. There was something missing. She knew there was something missing...
"Whiskers! I need whiskers."
Getting out her makeup, she carefully traced six kitty whiskers on her face.
"There! Today will surely work! This has to be it!"
Happily trotting out of her humble cottage, she mosied down the worn road to Anon's house. Maybe today Anon wouldn't kick her out of his house.
Again.
She still had some bruising on her underside from the last time it happened, but it's nothing that makeup couldn't hide. Plus, if anyone found out, Anon could get in trouble. If something happened to Anon... Fluttershy didn't know what she'd do. So, instead, she decided to hide the bruises and abuse from the world.
Her happy trot began to slow into standing crawl.
'He's never going to love me,' she thought to herself.
She'd been trying every day for months to guess his fetish, and nothing has worked. Even the times that she'd felt so sure that she was right. It's almost as if... guessing his fetish wasn't the way into his heart.
Maybe it wasn't.
Maybe she just had to try dating him like all of the other ponies did. It seemed so simple and easy. Perhaps, today was the day to try something different. Today, maybe she should ask Anon out on a date.
With renewed confidence, and a new plan, Fluttershy continued her journey.
"Psssst."
Fluttershy leaped ten feet into the air and began to flutter in place.
"W-who's there?"
Slowly a dark shadow reveals itself from a thick patch of trees.
"It is I..."
The shadow begins to form itself into a pony-like figure with piercing red eyes.
"King Sombra."
"W-what do you w-want?"
"Simply to help you, my dear."
"N-no thank you. I-I'll j-just be going now."
Fluttershy tried to fly away when his voice called out to her once more.
"I can guarantee that you will win Anon's heart."
His words caused her to freeze. Could he really mean it? Guarantee?
She slowly made her way to the worn dirt path and turned to him.
"H-how?"
"I believe I've heard Anon say many times that he was not interested with our species."
It's true. Anon says it almost everyday, but there is no way he knows what he's talking about. He has to see that someday he will love her. Or, at least a pony. I mean, statistically speaking, there weren't many humans here. Ponies are also the dominant race. So, process of elimination means he just has to.
Fluttershy figured, if she was lucky, maybe she'd be around when he finally gives in to the allure of horses.
Fluttershy nodded her head to King Sombra, as he began to form a devilish smile.
"Then what I can do for you is quite simple..."
She unconsciously moved towards him, hanging on his every word. His voice sounded soothing and gentle, but strength lied behind his malevolent words.
"I will make you human."
Her lungs didn't cooperate with the news.
How could he do this? Why would he do this?
Sombra produced a small mirror with his magic.
"This mirror is made of the same material as the portal that sent Twilight after Sunset Shimmer for her crown."
Fluttershy tried to look into the mirror, but he pulled it away from her.
"Gazing into it will transform you into a human, just like Anonymous. Then, gazing upon it again, will return you to your natural state."
Stepping away from this great temptation, Fluttershy decided to talk business.
"W-what do I have to do to use it?"
He smiled and gave a dark chuckle.
"To use the mirror once? Absolutely nothing my dear."
"R-really?"
Fluttershy stepped up to him, and he handed the mirror to her. Just before gazing in the mirror, she looked away.
"What if I need to become a pony again?"
He gave a smile that only a demon could wear.
"We can discuss that after you have Anon in the center of your hooves. Or... well. Hands. Hmmm? What do you say?"
He extended a hoof for an agreement. The mirror felt heavy to Fluttershy and something about this didn't quite feel right. She returned the hoofshake, then stared deeply into the mirror.
The first thing she saw was her hair, which remained long and pink, and her skin still seemed to have it's signature yellow tint, but her fur was gone. Instead, she noticed her face was now shaped much more similarly to Anon than to a pony. However, her eyes seemed to remain the same size.
"Oh... my."
Raising a hoof to her face, she checked to see if these features were real. Wait. This doesn't feel like a hoof at all!
Her eyes tore away from the mirror to examine her new touch. It fell to the ground from her slender fingers, but didn't make a sound. Once it hits the ground, it disappears along with the alicorn king, leaving Fluttershy alone.
Fluttershy examined her new hand. To her, it seemed just like a smaller, yellow, petite version of Anon's hand. The world felt different, now. In fact, was significantly smaller now. Flutttershy stood up and took a good look at her new legs. She was in a new human body wearing a white shirt with no sleeves, and a short green skirt. Two large green boots also adorned her feet, shielding her sensitive toes from the rough road.
"Okay Fluttershy, you can do this. Just one confident step after another."
She reached down and picked one small white flower from the surrounding flora with her new fingers, and placed it in your hair.
"You can do this."
"God Damnit. She's late."
You continue to toss a ball, similarly shaped to a racquetball that was given to you by Rainbow on your first day in Ponyville, at a wall of your home. It's not much, but you had to pass these mornings somehow. Catching the ball in your hand again, you carefully examine it.
"When she's late, she usually has something crazy planned."
Getting up out of your comfy chair, you ponder if it would be wise to just get out of here now, and not deal with whatever she has planned. Then again, she will just be back tomorrow, just like every other day. How could Fluttershy be so dense?
You just couldn't bring yourself to fuck a pony, and you have told her this more times than she can count. Maybe today you can just drive the point home. You need to control your temper better too. If somepony found out about the abuse you've cause her, shit could hit the fan.
"Maybe I'll just shit before she gets here. Just to be safe. Who know's what she's got-"
Two confident knocks at your door break your train of thought. You groan in frustration.
"Of course! Right when I have business to attend to."
Storming towards the door, you yell at her.
"Fluttershy, for the LAST GODDAMN TIME. I. WILL. NOT. FUCK."
You nearly rip the door of it's hinges pulling it open.
"A...."
A teenage human girl stands in front of you.
"Anon... I'm not a pony anymore," Fluttershy says with a smile.
It was her. There was no mistaking it. The skin color, hair, voice, and eyes were all dead on to the Fluttershy that constantly barraged you with fetish attempts every single day. Especially the eyes. The eyes were almost exact. The worst part was, she was.... she was...
Hot as fuck.
"Anon? Are you okay? I'm a human, Anon. Umm... does this mean that maybe... sometime..."
Everything about this girl turned you on. The pristine legs. The shy and timid demeanor. Even the way she was twirling her hair right now because she was nervous. She was so... so...
Young.
"Uh... Fluttershy... how old ARE you in pony years?"
She looks up at you, not as much as normal, but enough to make your heart stop for a moment.
"Um... 18 years Anon, but Twilight said that ponies here live longer than ones from Earth..."
She doesn't get the point.
"Fluttershy... from Earth... we had a word for girls like you."
She looks up at you curious and hopeful.
"Fiancé?"
Oh god, she is so cute like this.
"No... Schoolgirls. You are too young for me, Fluttershy."
The greatest temptation stands you directly in the face, and it is taking every ounce of will power you have to resist it.
"I-I'm sorry... I just can't."
'W-what? NO!'
She cannot lose him! Not Now!
He slowly began to close the door. She jumped on him and wrapped her legs around his crotch.
"Wait, Wha-"
But he was quickly silenced when she placed her lips on his. Anon went down hard, and hit his head on the hardwood floor. Kicking the door shut, Fluttershy quickly went for his pants. Undoing his pants was ten times easier using fingers than hooves. Fluttershy ripped down his underwear and began to stroke his manhood.
Steadily, his rod came to life, missing the sensations that he had unwillingly abandoned so long ago. As she licked his member, it reached full-mast. Fluttershy eyed Anon's cock in surprise, finally seeing it first hand without the use of cameras or sneaking into his home at night.
'It's now or never, girl,' she told herself.
Fluttershy positioned herself over Anon and grinded her new human sex against him, not bothering to taking the panties off yet. She moaned loudly, which didn't disturb the likely passed out Anon. Fluttershy probably should check if he has a concussion or something, but where's the sexy time in that?
Everything felt so much more different as a human. Fluttershy made tiny gasps and moans as she felt wave after hot wave of sensation wrack her senses. She hadn't ever felt this alive before. As much as she would have loved to stay in this heavenly foreplay, she found herself unsure if her partner would be having any fun as well.
There was only one way to solve that. And it didn't involve a trip the hospital.
Fluttershy, her mind clouded with lust, pulled aside her underwear to reveal her glistening sex. Aligning him to go inside felt nearly natural, as if it was something pre-programmed into her new human brain. As she push him inside her, Fluttershy finally felt truly at one with Anon.
"Oh Anon... you feel so good... like a perfect fit."
Anon drooled out of the side of his mouth and groaned. Don't worry. He'll be fine. Probably.
Fluttershy pushed her body onto his member, slowly sliding him in and out of her. It was difficult to find a position, but it was simple once she placed her hands on his chest.
He reached up and placed a hand on hers.
'Wait a second. This is weird. Usually he's a lot less receptive to this.'
He won't look at you. Then, all of the pieces come together.
"Wait a second. Are young, human girls your fetish Anon?"
Anon blinked then looked up.
"What? Was my dead act not convincing?" he asked.
"I have animals that play dead better than you," Fluttershy responded meekly.
"Oh," Anon responded, lying back and returning to normal.
A silence filled the room.
"Well?" Fluttershy asked.
"It's the skirts! OKAY?! The fucking skirts. Every goddamn time."
Party poppers and fireworks went off in Fluttershy's mind. The kind that have a count down warning before them so that they aren't as scary.
Fluttershy wrapped Anon in her arms and she took a deep whiff of his manly scent, which seemed to be even better than usual. Probably because she wasn't hiding under his bed in order to waft it.
"Oh Anon, I just knew you would love me..."
He pushed her off of him with ease and jumped to his feet, buttoning his pants.
"That doesn't change that it's wrong, Fluttershy. Get out of my house."
"W-what? N-no!"
He can't leave her like this! She finally did it!
Anon quickly pushed Fluttershy outside with a red, flustered face and tried to close the door on her.
"I did it though! I don't understand."
He stopped and looked at her, and then her skirt. Fluttershy saw his member throb when he spied her feminine juices running down her leg.
"M-maybe come back in a few years. Or weeks. Or if we can make sure it's won't get me in some weird trouble with weird horse laws."
He looked at you, and then closes the door in her face.
"FUCK!" he screamed inside his home. "WHERE'S MY BOOK OF HORSE LAWS?! WHAT'S LEGAL HERE? SHIT! DOES SHE HAVE TO BE HUMAN AGE? PONY AGE? SOMETHING ELSE?"
His voice and curses carried on into the middle of the house, until his voice went beyond earshot. Looks like at least now she had a chance. As she began to skip towards a law advisor to figure out if she could legally mate with Anon, a terrifying thought occurred to her.
What effect could this have had on the Elements of Harmony? Was this all a part of King Sombra's master plan? What would happen if he attacked and the Elements were powerless, just because she wanted in Anon's pants?
Then Fluttershy remembered the feeling of his thick rod sliding in and out of her... the way he made her feel whole.
"Off to a law advisor! I wonder if Twilight knows about these things... Oh! Maybe she knows some sexy human tricks."
Months later, at Villian Rehabilitation Camp
"So, then I told Luna to make a law about age of consent for Pony to Human relations to 50 years old," King Sombra said. "And it's still in effect."
Queen Chrysalis stared at King Sombra in awe.
"That truly IS evil," Discord added.
"But what did that do to the Elements of Harmony?" Tirek asked, taking another sandwich from the tray.
Sombra shrugged and took a sip of tea.
"No idea. But then they shoved it in a tree later, or something stupid and it didn't matter anyway. So I guess that's that."
Author's Note
Lol wut.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
Once upon a time there was a dude named Raritan. He asked me to write him a story, and it came out really bad. This is that story, pretty much untouched. Sorry.
Lemonade
The magnitude of your belch nearly shakes the nearby suit of armor. A suit of pony armor. How does that even work?
"Anonymous! Would it kill you to have a little decency? We ARE going to be having a private dinner with the Princess."
"Oh come on! Applejack, you gotta admit that was a good one."
The orange pony darts her eyes from you to Rarity as you and the mane six head towards the dining hall of Canterlot Castle.
"Well, ah reckon it was a good one."
Rarity scowls at her friend.
"But Rarity has a point. We should have our best manners tonight."
"Thank you, Applejack. At least MOST ponies here have some sense of class."
"Well I guess that's what makes me human," you reply.
Your sly grin only proves to peeve off Rarity even more.
"Settle down you two. We are almost there." says Twilight, leading the pack.
"Great! I'm starving."
Rarity rolls her eyes.
"You're ALWAYS hungry, Anon."
"So is Pinkie, but nobody ever gives her flak."
Pinkie leaps into the air and lands beside you.
"That's because I burn like a million zillion calories a day Nonny! That's why I bounce around all the time and go all-"
Suddenly Pinkie is on the other side of Rarity. You should be surprised, but you've stopped trying to understand this mare a long time ago.
"Okay. I think I get it."
"Yeah, big guy. You may want to watch it on the seconds a bit."
Rainbow decides to join the conversation.
"I could help ya work some of that extra gut off ya know. Get some cardio in your routine."
You laugh and shake your head.
"I'll have to consider it. Then again, it's not like Applejack isn't already a slave driver at the farm."
The whole group lightly chuckles.
"Yeah, yeah. Just wait till Monday, Anon."
As you approach the large golden doors to the royal dining hall, you feel Fluttershy rub her cheek on your leg. You push her away.
"No. Bad pony."
"B-but Anon. I-"
"If you are going to act like a dog. I'm going to treat you like one. Now, stop it."
She hides her face behind her mane dejectedly. The six of you take your seats and wait for Princess Celestia to arrive.
"So what are we havin?"
"Anonymous!"
Rarity scoffs.
"What? Oh. I suppose that's inappropriate too."
"Ah gotta admit I am interested, too," backs up Applejack.
A guard approaches the table and the seven of you turn your attention to him.
"Apologies from the Princess. She's running a little behind."
"That's fine. We can wait for her," replies Twilight.
Your stomach groans and the entire room turns to you.
"What? I didn't actually say anything."
The guard takes his leave and Rainbow and Applejack begin their own side conversation about some running competition they have. Apparently they are almost always tied.
How does that even work?
Fluttershy scoots her chair closer to you.
"So Pinkie?"
The pink mare turns her attention to you with a wide smile.
"How's the bakery doing? You rarely talk about your job when we hang out."
"Ooh! It's nice! Although, lately the Cakes said that I couldn't begin sampling the cookie dough anymore. I just can't help myself with the taste tests. I have to know if the next taste is like the last one. Then the next one. Then the next one! Then the NEXT one!"
How does this mare get to eat this much and keep such a great figure? Wait.
Are you commenting on the figure of a horse? You've been here WAY too long.
Fluttershy scoots her chair closer to you again and looks at you timidly.
"So Anon..."
"No."
"B-but I didn't-"
"Nope."
Her face gets red.
"You won't even let me-"
"I don't care."
You look down at her with a wide smile and she fumes up at you.
"I need to go to the fillies room."
Fluttershy stamps away from the table while Rarity looks at you with frustration.
"I simply don't understand why you won't go out with her Anonymous. The two of you have sooo much in common," interrogates Rarity.
"Rare. Name three things Fluttershy and I have in common."
Rarity places a hoof on her chin and thinks to herself.
"Well, the two of you are quiet... um... um..."
"See. You can't even name three things."
"No. They are there. Twilight help me out."
"Well they both like animals."
"Wanting to have a dog is different from liking animals, girls."
The girls roll their eyes.
Stupid, sexy Anon. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
He got you so worked up and flustered that you could just scream! You are a better pegasus than that though. However, you are also completely lost in Celestia's castle.
"Umm... Hello?"
You continue down the hallway, trying to find somepony who can help you to the little mare's room. A few doors down, you see a light through a partially closed door. Carefully you make your way towards it.
"E-excuse me?"
Pushing open the door, you peek inside. What awaits is a completely empty kitchen, filled with this evening's various courses.
"I-is anyone here?"
You make your way into the kitchen and towards the meal. It looks absolutely delicious. A ding from a timer rings through the kitchen. You squeal and backup into a machine that roars to life. A tug from your rump grabs your attention, Dread fills your soul as your tail slowly gets sucked into the juicer.
"HELP! PLEASE!"
You feel your body slowly get sucked into the machine where tonight's lemonade awaits. Closing your eyes, you wait for it to all be over soon.
"Lemonade, miss Rarity?"
"Why thank you, sir. I'm simply parched."
The waiter serves glasses of yellow liquid to each of the ponies at the table. Water was fine for you.
"Hmm. Does this taste funny to anypony else?" inquires Twilight.
"If by funny you mean AWESOME!" replies Rainbow.
"Silly, Twilight! Lemonade isn't supposed to be funny. If it did, the jokes would be really tart."
"Wow, Pinkie. What a pun."
She beams at you.
"Girls... Ah don't feel so good." Applejack says with a pained expression.
Rainbow finishes her drink and moves to Applejack's side.
"You doin alright girl?"
"Ah dunno. My body is just gettin all warm."
You look at the apple pony curiously.
"You don't look so great, AJ."
She looks up at you and locks onto your eyes. Her pupils dilate and slowly her eyes become half lidded.
"Anon~..."
Woah, what?
"Uh... Applejack?"
The orange pony lifts herself on the table and slowly walks towards you, swaying her flank.
"Ah think you could use some ol' fashoned lovin."
You back up your chair.
"What are you doing AJ?"
She leaps off the table and rubs her face against your leg.
"Somethin I shoulda done a long time ago..."
Rainbow Dash pushes her off of you.
"Jeez, Applejack! What's gotten into you!"
Phew.
"Everypony knows that Anon is mine!"
Aw shit.
You get outta your chair and back up from the two mares. Their eyes are locked in on you in a gaze of lust. A purple aura surround them and lifts them into the air.
"He's MINE!"
Twilight charges at you.
"Fuck! What's WRONG with you girls."
You rip open a nearby door and sprint down the hall. What changed since you got here? Normally only Fluttershy tries to rape you. Now it's like everypony is trying to. There's an open door on your right.
You duck in and slam the door behind you. The gallop of hooves is heard running past the room. Letting out a sigh of relief, you sink to the floor.
Looking around, tile floors and bright white kitchen appliances fill the room. Awesome! Chow time!
You head over to the plates of food that must be your meals. They all look really fancy, but the portions are all so small. Stupid fancy food.
You shove a plate of food down your throat and look around for something to wash it down with. Oh hey. The lemonade.
You head over to the near-empty pitcher of lemonade. Something looks wrong with this juicer though. You look at the top of it and find traces of pink hair inside the juicer. What?
“Wait."
Pulling some of the hair out of the juicer, it's extremely long. Definitely Fluttershy's.
"What? Why is her hair in the juicer?"
Then it hits you. Your friends all drank the lemonade. What if Fluttershy was in the Lemonade?
Would that make it... Rapenade?
"Hiya, Nonny!"
You jump backwards and try to scramble away from the pink pony.
"Pinkie. Tell me you didn't drink it."
Slowly she makes her way towards you, waving her flank.
"Oh... not yet Nonny... but don't worry."
She leaps on top of you.
"I'd love to drink your seed."
You push her off of you and scramble for the door. Pulling hard, you see her on the other side with her legs spread wide.
"I'm waiting, Nonny."
"FUCK!"
Slam the door and turn around. Pinkie in latex.
"Does this turn you on, Anon?"
Keeping your eyes on Pinkie, you open the door and run back into the hall. This is a nightmare! They all drank that lemonade.
Which means there are five mares all trying to claim your dick. As if one wasn't bad enough already. Ducking to the right, you run face to face into Rainbow Dash.
“Oh SHIT!"
One-Eighty no scope and speed down the hallway.
"Tryin to play hard to get? I like that in a stallion."
She's hot on your tail. Oh shit, there is a fork up ahead. Left or right? Left or right?
Shit.
She's right on your ass with outstretched hooves. You slide and Rainbow runs straight into the wall. Rainbow falls to the ground, unmoving. Nononono!
You check her pulse. Still living. Good.
You run down the hallway and see an open door. Maybe you can hide from all these crazy mares. Jump into the open room and bolt the door behind you. You place your back against the door and try to catch your breath. Looking around, you think you may have made a terrible mistake.
Sliding down the door, you find yourself in the library.
You try to unlock the door, but a purple aura stops the lock from budging.
"Aaaaannnnoon."
You whip around. Nopony is there.
You edge yourself around the room, trying to hide from the skilled unicorn. Every new bookshelf could hide the awaiting rapist. Peek around the corner.
The coast seems to be clear.
There also looks like an exit. You only got one shot at this. Sprint at the door with all your might. Trip and fall on your face.
Fuck.
"There you are."
Your body is enveloped in purple.
“Shitshitshitshithshit."
"Now I can show you what I've learned from all those books at the library..." Twilight says in a passionate tone.
She lays you out on a table and undoes your pants with her magic. You try to fight her magical hold, but it proves to be fruitless. Twilight plants kisses on the inside of your neck. You close your eyes and look away.
"Oh, Anon... you don't know how long I've wanted you to be-"
"MINE!"
Rarity soars through the air and kicks Twilight off of you. The purple aura dissipates off you while the two unicorns fight over you. Fixing your pants, you run out of the library while they are distracted. Sprint back down the hallway.
What the hell are you going to do?
You have to find a way to cure them. Celestia has to know something. She would help you!
Probably.
There was that one time that you took a shit in her bed. But now the two of you laugh about it. Plus you haven't called her Sunbutt in over a month. She probably is completely over when you ate all of her cake. The doors to the dining hall stand in front of you.
"There you are Anon!"
"SHIT!"
Jumping inside the dining hall, you grab a sword from a nearby suit of armor inside the hall and use it to brace the doors. That will work.
Until they use magic.
Looking across the room, you see the Princess sitting at the head of the table, staring at you.
"Celestia. I need your help. Fluttershy juiced herself into some form of rape juice. The girls drank it. Now they are all trying to rape me and I don't know what to do."
The princess just stares at you.
"If it's about the time I took your scepter and replace it with that scepter Twilight made in school.. I'm sorry, but there are more important things right now."
She rises from her seat. This isn't like her. Celestia at least answers you.
You look to the table and see the pitcher of Lemonade.
It's empty.
Dread fills your soul.
A deafening boom comes from the doors to the dining hall as the five rapists try to break in.
"Please, Anon... Call me Tia."
"Shit..."
You're cornered.
Another deafening boom comes from the doors. Grabbing a chair, you hold it up to her as if you were fending off a lion. She tosses it across the room with a simple spell. You back away from the lust driven alicorn. Your body is enveloped in golden light.
"Don't you want to serve your Princess, Anonymous?"
"Fuck you."
Another deafening boom comes from the golden gate to five more rapists. She moans a little bit.
"I always love when you talk tough, Anonymous."
With nearly no effort, the dining table is cleared and she throws you on top of it. She leaps into the air and lands on top of you with her majestic wings outstretched. The sword breaks from the strain and the five little ponies enter the dining hall. They collectively gasp and each show their own form of restraint from wanting to take you from Celestia.
"Oh. I'm happy you all joined me my little ponies. I was about to feast on this wonderful specimen. Would you all care to join me?"
The group collectively nods.
"Fuck."
It's another quiet day in Equestria. You became a hermit ever since you were gang raped by six colored horses. Then they all pissed another pony, in liquid form, into your mouth.
That isn't really the kind of thing you can just walk off.
At least things have been a little more normal now that you are away from any form of pony life. The quiet and solitude were the only two things you really had left in life. You relax on the couch of your home. It'll be time to harvest from your garden soon, but this little moment of silence means the world to you.
A knock at the door shatters your soul. You haven't had visitors in months. A terrible stench fills your nose as you approach the door with terror flowing through your veins. You rip open the door quickly, like a band-aid. Standing in front of you is a brown winged pegasus.
No. Wait.
It's Fluttershy, completely covered in shit.
"Hi Anon. Is scat your fetish?"
“H-how? You were... juice."
"Bathroom things..." she says meekly.
You slam the door and run up to your room. Shut your door and lock it with the fourteen additional locks that you installed. You crawl into bed and cry yourself to sleep.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
I don't even know anymore.
Fanmares
The bright sun beats in through your bedroom window and assaults your eyelids. A day may come when the strength of eyelids shall fail, when we forsake the joys of sleep and begin to listen to alarm clocks.
BUT IT IS NOT THIS DAY.
You lazily roll to the side.
The ground wraps you up in a tight hug as your face viciously makes out with the floor.
"FUCK."
Damn it. Sometimes you have to accept defeat. This may have been one battle, but the war is far from over.
"That was CLASSIC anon! Tenouttaten. Perfect in every way. Best wakeup ever."
You groan to yourself.
"Fluttershy. This is getting really old. Don't you have better things to do than to help me write the next part of A Helping Darker Passionate Deaf AnonLove?"
The yellow pegasus puts a hoof to her mouth and thinks carefully to herself.
"In fact... didn't you volunteer to help teach Scootaloo to fly today?" you mention.
"Uhhh..."
Scootaloo stands outside Fluttershy's house, wings extended, with the most excited smile you've ever seen on a filly. She can't possibly believe this is happening.
"Today I'll finally fly! This is the greatest day of my life!"
"Nah. I'm sure she'll figure it out."
You turn and head straight to the bathroom and begin your morning ritual.
"OOH! I KNOW WHAT HAPPEN-"
Slamming the bathroom door in her face, you proceed to your morning shit. Turning on the shower, you mentally prepare yourself for your day. If Fluttershy constantly pestering you to write didn't make you nervous enough, it was becoming harder and harder to release content. You didn't want to let your fans down or hurt the integrity of your story.
Plus, it was hard to focus on it thanks to your new idea for a story called Tough Young Parent's Junkie.
The name was a work in progress.
Splashing the water on your face, you wrap up your shower and finish your triple-S. Opening up the door, Fluttershy stumbles into the bathroom.
"Were you trying to watch me shower?"
"NO!"
You eye the mare curiously.
"Well... maybe I was trying to a little bit, but it was just to make sure you were OK!"
"Sure."
After throwing on some of your most comfortable clothes, you hear Fluttershy rollin downstairs at the speed of sound. You've got places to go. Shit.
This joke doesn't work here. Move on.
Taking the steps two at a time, you head to the kitchen. Fluttershy is panicking, trying to blow out a fire that is inside one of your cereal bowls.
"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?!?"
"TRIED TO MAKE CEREAL!"
"WHY IS THERE FIRE?"
"NO TIME!"
You grab the milk on the counter and pour it on the fire. Suddenly it's a perfectly normal bowl of cereal. The two of you exchange glances.
"Fluttershy?"
"Yeah?"
"Never cook. Ever."
"O-ok."
You sit down and eat your breakfast while Fluttershy pushes a pad of paper towards you.
"So Anon... its a beautiful day outside. Full of wonder and opportunity... I was thinking you should spend it inside writing."
Staring at the pegasus, you swallow your bite and stare directly into her eyes.
"Do you really want the next part out so badly?"
She nods excitedly.
"Do you really want to help me so it gets out faster?"
Fluttershy shakes her head even faster.
"You would really do anything it takes to make it happen?"
She nods so hard that if you freeze the frame at the right second that there is a weird animation error.
"Then get out of my house. Leave me alone. Send me fan mail like the rest of the readers. I'm honored, touched even, that you love my stories this much. But you are way too up in my business about this. Please. Leave me alone."
Fluttershy expression shifts from ecstasy to defeat.
"Oh... alright..."
She flutters out of your house slowly and the door closes, leaving you alone.
"Thank god."
You take another bite of your cereal. Suddenly the door bursts open.
"HERE'S YOUR PAPER ANON!"
"OH MY GOD, SHY! THAT'S ALL I REALLY WANTED! NOW YOU SHOULD BE MY COWRITER AND WE WILL MAKE GREAT TEAM!"
She presses her hooves to her face in excitement.
"REALLY! OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH-"
"OF COURSE NOT!"
You grab the pegasus and chuck her out the window. Ugh.
Fucking Fanmares.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Today seemed like a great day to just be alone. Sometimes taking a little time away to stew in your own thoughts can be quite refreshing. So, you found yourself wandering the halls of Celestia and Luna's old ruined castle. It wasn't too far off from your home in Ponyville. Plus, it was almost always quiet. None of the other ponies liked to venture through the Everfree Forest to get here.
Looking at the ruined walls of the castle gave you an opportunity to reflect on what parts of your life may be broken down or in disrepair. While it didn't give you options or suggestions for how to fix what you were unsatisfied with, the castle gave you a quiet place to relax and let go. It was your own sort of... Fortress of Solitude. Except with way less crystals. And you weren't Superman. And you certainly didn't have a secret identity.
Either way, this place is awesome.
Today you've been having quite a lot of luck figuring out where all the secret passages are in this castle to better escape Nutterrapist's clutches. That is, in case she tries to ambush you. Again. For the fifth time.
Heading down an abandoned hallway filled with pony armor, you see a torch that looks just slightly different than all the others.
“Huh,” you mutter under your breath.
You go check it out and pull on it. The wall spins and places you in a closed off room with a hole in the ceiling.
"Well. That's cool," you say sarcastically.
You reach to grab the torch again. It's not there. Weird.
Instead in it's place was a hole. A hole in the wall.
"Oh Aaaanon,” the familiar voice calls from the other side.
Oh shit. You look through the hole.
Yellowwings is looking back at you.
"Great. Can you pull the torch for me please?"
"I don't think so, Anon. Why don't you pull it yourself?"
You groan.
"Fine."
You reach through the hole and your hand push into somewhere warm and fleshy. Ripping it back out, you find it covered in shit.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"Mmmm... I think you have to try again Anon..."
And that's the story of how you were forced to fist Fluttershy's asshole for ten hours.
Author's Note
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
I could probably use this to end the story,
but where's the fun in that?
Return to Earth
You have ten minutes to decide if you can return to Earth. Ten minutes. That's it. Yes. No.
Back on Earth you have a fantastic life. Fantastic friends. Here in Equestria... you have one thing that you can cling to. You have no real job. You have no real livelihood. A few friends here and there, but you're ultimately damned in a society that has no place for one human.
Sometimes, you have to set emotions aside and think purely logically to accomplish things that will help you in the end... and this was one of those moments.
It was a long journey, but you decided to let Fluttershy into your heart. She was the only pony who exhibited any interest in you. And, to be fair, the two of you were happy. It wasn't perfect, but it was nice. You weren't just an animal to her, but to the rest of society, you might as well have been.
However, when Celestia approached you, saying there was a portal back to Earth, just for you. You had enough time to do one last thing.
Say goodbye.
You walk up to Fluttershy's cottage with dread in your heart. It had to be done.
Walking inside, you hear her familiar happy hum as she brushes her animals!
"O-oh! Anon! I've missed you all day!"
She flies up to you and wraps you in a tight hug. You gently push her off of you and sit on her couch. God damn it. You promised yourself you wouldn't cry.
"W-what's wrong Anon?"
She sits next to you, holding your hand gently. Fluttershy wipes a tear from your face and her face is filled with concern.
"Why aren't you saying anything?"
You take a deep breath to steel yourself for what you have to say.
"I-is something wrong?"
"We can't do this anymore, Fluttershy."
"…"
She holds your hand tight.
"W-what? What do you mean, Anon?"
"I can't be your special somepony anymore. I'm sorry. I'm going back to Earth."
Her eyes begin to drown in tears and her voice can't stay calm anymore.
"B-but Anon... you were the only one who could make me happy..."
"I'm sorry, Shy. It's over."
"I'm sorry. This is all my fault. I promise I'll do better! Y-you'll see."
"It's too late," you reply.
You get up to leave her cottage.
"Anon... please don't leave me..."
Don't look back, Anon. You close your eyes and clench your hands into fists.
"I'm sorry..."
"I'm sorry too... It's time for me to go home," you say.
You leave her cottage and she flies to the door.
"Anon please don't go..."
"I have to."
"You are all I have left."
She holds you tightly, believing that if she holds you now and never let go that you will stay.
"I have to go back to Earth, Fluttershy. I'm sorry."
"Maybe Celestia will let me go too!"
"I already asked. You have to stay here."
She lets go of you and falls to the ground in a sobbing mess.
"I'm sorry it had to end this way..."
You walk away from the cottage, trying to stay strong. Just because something logically makes sense, doesn't make it easy.
Hopefully you made the right choice.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
Back to your regularly scheduled random.
G-Major
You wake up feeling fantastic and refreshed. It's a wonderful day. In fact, you're feeling positively amazing. Throwing off the covers of your bed, you leap out of bed with a tune in your voice. In fact, an extremely easy song that's filled with positivity.
You smile as you go through your morning routine. Even the cold water of the shower didn't dampen your good mood. You didn't have the best singing voice, but your coveted baritone voice at least was consistent in tone. Hopping out of the shower. You throw on a robe and smile at yourself in the mirror.
“Today's gonna be a good day.”
Climb downstairs to prepare yourself some toast. Stare at toaster intensely. Today will be the day.
You will catch the toast as it pops-up.
Delicate precautions have been taken. You even began cooking one hour before Yellowrapist usually comes for her daily fetish attempt. Just be patient.
You take a deep breath.
Time seems to slow down. You wipe a trickle of sweat from your brow.
Suddenly, there's a knock at the door. The knocking distracts your superhuman focus.
The toaster dings! The toast flies into the air and lands neatly back in the toaster.
"Shit!"
You will catch the toast.
One day.
You head to your door and tear it open.
"What do you want?" you yell in your deep tone.
A demonic warped sound emanates from the yellow pony's mouth.
"Are deep singing voices your fetish, Anon?"
You stare at her.
"No. How did you even do that. In fact. No. Don't fucking say a word until that shit wears off. Go home."
You slam the door in her face.
What the hell. What in the actual fuck just happened?
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
'First things first, this needs a title... How about... Layers. That works.'
You sit at the work desk in your home, staring at a piece of paper. Twirling a pencil in your hand, you wonder to yourself how you should begin this story. To fill your time lately, you've been trying to write interesting pieces of literature for Twilight to read and comment on. Sometimes she found your ideas intriguing, but most of the time what you're trying to accomplish was way too weird for your writing level. Then it just came out like a jumbled mess of text.
You begin to write an outline to the idea you had in your head. First bullet point: Main character tries to write a story. You nod your head.
'Perfect. The main character... let's call him Andrew, tries to write a story on his typewriter.'
You continue to jot down the details as more ideas come to mind.
'Then... then he manages to get some progress done before he gets interrupted. That advances the plot. Andrew's trying to write a second person story when-'
Your door bell rings. With a groan, you set down your pencil and rise from your desk.
"God damn it. A second time today?"
Approaching the front door, you open the door to Fluttershy, who holds a stack of papers in her hooves. She has her usual determined smile and carefree attitude as she opens her mouth.
"Hi, Anon. Are fourth-wall breaks your fetish?" she asks.
An exhale of air leaves your lips as you shake your head.
"No, Fluttershy. It isn't."
Fluttershy looks down to her papers and flips through them.
"Uhm. But this script for the story says-"
"Listen. Back on Earth we had a saying. 'Tits or Get the Fuck Out.'"
Fluttershy stares at you carefully, as if she suddenly smelled rotten cheese from inside your home.
"O-oh. O-okay," she mutters.
You slam the door in her face and stomp back to your desk.
'Now then, where was I?' you think to yourself. 'Oh, right. Andrew is trying to write his story when he gets interrupted.'
Silence fills the room as you stare at the page.
"Oh, hell with it."
You begin to scribble down the rest of your thoughts. 'He gets interrupted by his next door neighbor asking for a cup of sugar.'
"Great job, Anon. Real riveting story you got here," you mutter under your breath.
'But instead he gives her salt. Then, no more than ten minutes later, there's a knock at-'
There's a knock at the door. You stare down at your paper.
"Do I have a magic ability or something?"
"Is everything okay, Anon?" Fluttershy calls from the other side.
"Shut up, I'll deal with you in a sec."
You look under the piece of paper, but it's still your normal desk. Taking the pencil in your hands, you examine it carefully. It's a normal pencil. You break it in half. It's still a normal pencil on the inside too. You back up in your chair.
How in the world was your story coming to life? This doesn't make any sense? Is everything in this world pre-determined by some godly third-party who's doing all of this for a laugh?
"A-anon?"
"SHUT UP. I'M BEING EXISTENTIAL."
"N-no. It just seems pretentious."
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M THINKING!"
"U-uhm. It's in my script."
You jog to the door and open it wide. Fluttershy has two blue birds sitting on top of her head. Her ears wiggle gently, motioning to the little critters.
"I brought tits."
"Yeah, we get it."
"Who's we?"
You stare at Fluttershy.
"I... I don't actually know."
"Are you okay, Anon?"
"Show me this script."
Fluttershy holds out her stack of papers and you swipe it away from her. You open to the first page and begin to read.
"Layers, by Flutterpriest. 'First things first, this needs a title... How about... Layers."
You drop the script on the ground.
"I. Uhm-"
You look out behind Fluttershy and the birds gently chirp.
"I need to... go."
You close the door slowly and head upstairs to your bedroom. Climbing under the covers, you wrap yourself in a safety cocoon.
There's no escape.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The ceiling fan spins slowly above you, laying on the floor of your living room. The blades set you at ease, hypnotizing in their motions. Every day, it's something else. Every day, it's the same. Every day she's the same, but brings something else.
The rhythmic three knocks on the door force you to close your eyes, breaking the trance. Fluttershy. Surely enough, it was another ruthless attack to learn of your fetish, in hopes that if she could please you, it would be the surefire way to your heart. It's utterly ridiculous, to say the least.
Rising to your feet, you stretch your arms and take a deep breath, rubbing your eyes with a curled hand. Placing a hand on the door knob, you wonder what in the world will make all of this finally end? When would life go to some sort of sense of normality for you? When will this period of Fluttershy's attempt to your heart end? Wasn't this getting old? Hasn't basically everything already been done? What could possibly happen that would be new and inventive? Would there be a day when this world, and a simpler Equestria might be one of the same?
You turn the door and glance down at the familiar yellow face, wearing a bright smile, beaming up with you with her cool, cyan eyes. The familiar wave of pity washes over you, and you can't help but feel nervous at the first words out of your mouth.
"Morning, Fluttershy."
"Good Morning, Anon! How are you?"
Her bouncy voice is happy to see you, just like any other day, but you are already preparing yourself for the oncoming storm.
"I'm uh. Okay. How are you."
She scrunches her face and takes a deep breath.
"I..."
She shakes her head and looks down at the ground.
"You can do this Fluttershy," she whispers to herself.
Fluttershy raises her head to you, resolute, and opens her mouth.
"I'm really... p-peeved!"
You stare at her.
"Yeah, that's right. You heard me. Peeved!"
"Uhm. Okay."
"A-are curse words your fetish, Anon?" she asks.
Your mouth opens, and she clears her throat again.
"Cause if they are... I'm.... I'm going to ride your -plot-."
She blushes and looks at the ground, digging a hoof into your doorstep.
"I. uh."
"And if... if it isn't. Well I don't give a -heck-! I'd really like a -frickin'- answer!"
You place a hand to your mouth, snickering to yourself.
"Wow, Fluttershy, what language!" you say in mock offended tone. "I had no idea you could have such a potty mouth."
Her face lights up as she searches her voice for any more words.
"I. uhm. Shoot! You butt-head! I don't give a fudge about what I say. I just want to know if you like it, you son of a gun!"
You shake your head with a wide smile, loving how adorably naive this little pegasus is.
"I'm sorry, Fluttershy. But that's not my fetish. You'll just have to try again."
Fluttershy groans, then stomps a hoof.
"Fucking hell. You son of a Bitch. I'm going to fucking destroy you and rape you where you stand, you bastard. I will shit fury down your throat and make your life a living hell. A place where cunts like you can get their limp pencil dicks off to-"
She glances back up at you, and your jaw hangs on the floor.
"None of those words either?" she asks.
You remain silent.
"Drat. Oh well. I'll see you tomorrow, Anon!"
Fluttershy spreads her wings and takes off into the sky, leaving you alone. Your hand falls off the door knob and down to your side. Well. That just happened.
What the fuck?
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
This chapter is totally skippable. Not much to see here. (Based on a bad dream)
Different
Fluttershy takes a step onto your front porch. She pauses, taking a deep breath and steeling herself for today.
'Alright. Today's guess is being tied up. You can do this, Fluttershy. Be assertive.'
She raises her hoof to the door and knocks once, twice-
The door to your home pushes open at her force. Fluttershy pauses, shocked.
"Anon?" she calls through the house.
She waits, glancing inside your home. Pushing the hair out of her eyes, she takes one step, two steps, three steps inside.
"Anon? Are you here?"
'This is odd," Fluttershy thought to herself. 'Anon is almost always home. Is everything alright?'
She glances around at the desolate living room, pausing to inspect the unwatered flowers, the dirty dishes, the empty bottle of moonshine on the floor. Fluttershy trots her way into your kitchen, her expression straightening into lines of worry.
"Anon?" she calls.
She opens the door to the empty refrigerator, where the spinach on the bottom shelf has grown dark green, wilted, and leaked a putrid yellow liquid. Closing the door in disgust, she moves to your kitchen table, where a piece of paper rests quietly. She stops in front of the table and picks up the note with a hoof. Quietly, she mutters the words aloud to herself.
"Hello, my friends. If you're reading this, that means my time has come and gone. I don't belong in this world, and my further existence in it just pushes me further and further to the inevitable."
Fluttershy's eyes widen as she tosses the paper down.
"ANON!" she calls to the house, breaking to a sprint.
She leaps up the steps three at a time. Throwing open a closet, she finds it empty. Flying down the hall, she pushes her way into your bathroom. An empty orange container that she's never seen in Equestria before sits on the counter. Ripping open the shower curtain, she finds your bathtub empty.
Running into the hallway, Fluttershy kicks open the door to your bedroom. You stand upon a chair, rope tied firmly to your ceiling. You close your eyes. You pull the rope over your head.
"ANON!" Fluttershy screams, flying into the room.
The chair leans back. Your feet find only air. Then solid ground. You stand firmly atop a yellow pegasus, who strains under your body weight.
"Fluttershy... just go," you choke, tears in your eyes.
"No! I can't!"
You weigh heavily on the little pony's back. She spreads her wings and flaps, trying to muster all the force she can to keep you aloft.
"Just... just let me do this... please."
Fluttershy feels the muscles in her body tighten and strain as she grits her teeth.
"No! You come down... right now. And we can talk this through..."
Tears form in your eyes as you look to the chair, lying on the floor, motionless.
"What's there to talk about? I don't belong here. I'm a human in a world of horses. I can't have a family. I don't have a talent that a pony can't do better than me. The world is stacked against me. I have nothing left."
Tears form in Fluttershy's eyes as one of her hooves slip across the wooden floor.
"You have me," she says. "You've always had me."
You shake your head.
"You don't really want me... The pathetic sod I am. You can do better. You deserve better."
"I don't want better, Anon. I want you."
Fluttershy looks across the room and spots a knife on the bedside table. She takes a deep breath and flaps her wings. One inch at a time, she lets you down. The rope closes in around your neck. Once the pressure is mostly off of her, she dashes forward.
The air leaves your lungs as you jerk in mid-air. She snags the knife on the bedside table and saws at the rope above you. You close your eyes, a tear running down your cheek. The rope snaps. Your feet touch the ground, but you choose to collapse to the floor, pulling your knees into your chest, feeling the new brown necktie around you loosen.
You breathe in careful breaths, and sob. Fluttershy trots over to you, and reaches out a hoof to you. She lays down beside you, looking over you carefully. Her wings unfold and she wraps them around you. She rests her head on your shoulder.
"What's wrong with me, Fluttershy?" you ask.
"Nothing's wrong with you, Anon," she coos in your ear. "Things are just really hard right now, but they'll get better. You just have to believe me."
You close your eyes, feeling the warmth of her body press against you.
"Why do you come see me every day?"
"Because... I want to make you happy," she says.
You sniff.
"Heh. I wish it was working."
Fluttershy sighs.
"Why isn't it, Anon?" she asks.
You turn to her and blink. When you open your eyes, you stare at the ceiling of your room. My Little Pony dolls line a dresser on your right. Your alarm clock screams, alerting you that you're late for work. Again. Closing your eyes, you wipe a dampness from your cheek.
"Because you aren't real, and never will be."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
Back to Regularly Scheduled programming.
Do you have a fetish you want Fluttershy to ask Anon about? Leave suggestions in the comments.
What is Zit?
You sleepily stand in front of a mirror, staring at yourself intently.
Is... is that? It is. Fuck.
You've got a zit coming in, right on your nose. The skin swells and tightens right around the tip, and right at the center, you can see a small dot of white forming.
Great. That's going to be annoying as hell to deal with.
You hear the typical three knocks on the door, and you groan to yourself. It's that time again. Fetish time.
You head down the stairs, yawning and scratching that itch on your right butt cheek through your sleep pants. Groggily, you open the front door to the yellow pegasus flying outside.
"Hey Fluttershy," you groan.
"Hi Anon," she says happily.
"What's it today?"
"Brute force!"
"Oh, that's nice," you say with a smile.
There's a pause as the pegasus flaps her wings to remain at eye level with you. She reaches out a hoof, then clocks you directly in the nose. You feel the force like a thousand bricks right on your pimple, stepping backward in pain.
Okay. That's fucking it. You're awake now.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?!" you scream.
"I-Is being punched in the face your fetish?" she asks innocently.
"NO! WHO THE SHIT HAS A FETISH LIKE THAT?!"
She stares at you quietly. You watch her carefully, as her eyes dart side to side.
"OH THAT IS FUCKED UP, FLUTTERSHY!"
"IT'S NOT ME!" she pleads. "It's...uhm...Angel Bunny."
"YOU PUNCHED YOUR BUNNY IN THE FACE?!"
"Only, like, three times."
You step to the door and slam it in her face. Pulling a hand away from your nose, you see your pimple oozing blood.
"S-so, what about being kicked in the dick?" she asks.
"FUCKING GO HOME!"
"O-oh. Okay. See you tomorrow, Anon!"
You groan to yourself, walking back to your bathroom. Maybe you can put toilet paper on it. Or something.
You could call it a shaving accident. From shaving your nose. A nose shaving accident.
Yeah, right.
"Fucking Fluttershy," you mutter under your breath.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Food. Food. Food.
Oh my God, you're hungry. Ever since you came to Equestria, your diet has been horribly off kilter. You sit in front of your bowl of cereal, quickly growing mushy as you stare into it like a parent's disappointment.
With a sigh, you stir your bowl, wishing you could afford some eggs to at least get some protein in your diet. You're scraping the bottom barrel of food in Ponyville in order to get by. Which meant stale cereal, apples, salads, and the occasional quick cup of noodles is the every day norm. Extravagant pleasures such as a trip to Sugarcube corner, meant breaking an entire month's budget, or having to resort to doing additional jobs around town to make ends meet. Bringing a spoon of corn flakes to your lips, you let the mush slosh around in your mouth, before swallowing the unchewed grime. If you didn't need the energy, you'd push it away and just ignore it.
A knock on your door brings your first headache of the day. What else would you expect? You head to the door to greet, who you're sure is, Fluttershy. Ripping the door open, sure enough, the pink haired nuisance is on the other side, waiting for you.
"What?" you ask impatiently.
"Are creampies your fetish, Anon?"
You nearly choke on air. Taking a step back, you can't help but feel stimulated by the direct and, for once, sexual approach.
"What was that?" you ask, choosing not to believe your ears.
She reaches into a saddlebag, perched on her back, then pulls out a large, white pie with whipped cream on top. Then, a trail of drool dribbles out of your mouth.
Food. Actual, good, food.
And she's offering it to you at the cost of sex. Sex and Pie.
Let's take a step back here for a second. If you stick your dick in crazy, you get a pie.
On one hand, you have to refer to The Bro-Code, Section 3: Sticking Your Dick in It, Sub Article 2: Crazy. 'Don't do it.'
On the other hand, that's a fucking pie. You're a man that knows their price. Food is the surest way into your pants. And maybe heart. Maybe your heart is in your pants. Whatever. Not the point.
Fluttershy waves the pie in front of you, like a model on a televised game show.
"You want this pie?"
"I want it."
"You want this pie?"
"We aren't doing this joke," you say flatly.
"O-oh, okay."
You place a hand on your forehead and take a deep breath.
"Pies aren't my fetish. I'm just fucking hungry and want that pie."
"O-oh," she says.
She pauses. Fluttershy stares at the pie, then looks back to you. You look from her, back to the pie.
"Pie and sex?" she asks.
"Okay, let's make this quick."
Hey, what can you say? If you'd have to choose between death and sex with Fluttershy, you'd rather pie.
Author's Note
Don't forget to post ideas in the comments. I'm going to try to do one of these "small" ones a day, for awhile. As I can.
Yeah, it probably won't happen.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The toast leaps out of your toaster, and you quickly turn to the door. Silence. A bead of sweat drips down your forehead.
Where is she? She hasn't came yet today.
You slept in, since it's the weekend, anticipating that Fluttershy would likely wake you up with her daily fetish guess. But, now it's 1pm, you've gotten way too much sleep, and she STILL hasn't came. This can't possibly be a good sign. There is two options to what's going on.
One: She's finally given up on attempting to learn your fetish. Two: She has something enormous planned.
And all you can do is wait until she springs her trap. You shiver, taking your piece of toast out of the toaster. You need to try to figure out how you could possibly evade the impending, inevitable nightmare. Munching on the toast, you sit at your table with a pad and paper and try to figure out what you could possibly do. You could stay at home all day, refusing to enter the outside world.
Home is a shelter for you. You'd be safe. Unless, she's actually inside right now.
Fuck.
Rising from your seat, you leap out of your home. You can't take any chances. Scanning your surroundings, you search for the yellow demon, but she's nowhere in sight. Taking a deep breath, you relax. Alright, you're outside now.
If you go to a store, there's only one entrance and one exit. You can't box yourself in. So, where can you go that would be relaxing as well as safe.
The idea hits you and you're off like lightning. Swimming.
It doesn't take long for you to get to a nearby pond and strip down to your underwear. Leaping into the cool, refreshing pool of water, you tread water with ease while scanning the horizon once more. With a smile, you close your eyes and hold your breath to float on the surface.
Who knows? Maybe things really are about to change. It would be refreshing if Fluttershy stopped doing the fetish guesses.
Heck, you might even ask her out. She seems pretty cute. And long hair has always kinda been your thing. Once you over look the whole, you know, -she's a horse- thing, it might just work. Yeah. Maybe you should go ask her what the hell that slimy thing around your leg is.
You pause, thinking to yourself what you just thought. Opening your eyes, you stare at the sky wearing a wide smile.
"This is fine."
Suddenly, you're pulled down deep beneath the surface of the water. Futtershy looks you face to face in the water, but she's clearly changed. On either side of her neck are sharp, yellow gills that release bubbles of water. Her lower half has completely changed, producing 8 large, slimy tentacles, like some sort of jaundiced octopus.
"Hi, Anon! Are tentacles your fetish?" she asks under the water.
You scream at the top of your lungs, which probably isn't the brightest thing to do underwater. Scrambling your arms and legs, you propel yourself back towards the surface. Your head breaches the surface and you cough, trying to catch your breath.
Fluttershy breaches the surface, flicking her long hair through the air like a majestic mermaid that's also a pony. A merpony. A ponymaid. Nah, that's a different chapter.
"SHOOO BE DOOO. SHOO SHOO BE DOOOO!" Fluttershy sings.
"GET AWAY FROM ME YOU FREAKY HORSE," you shout at Fluttershy.
"But Anon! I love you! I'm not squidding around!"
You swim as fast as you can towards the shore, leaping out of the water. Gathering your clothes, you sprint back home as Fluttershy watches you leave. With downtrodden eyes, she looks back to the water.
"Well, at least I got these..." she says, raising a tentacle to the surface.
She eyes her prize of your favorite boxers, white with red hearts all over.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You stand in front of your refrigerator, and open the door. Inspecting the contents inside like girls in a row at a bunny ranch, you hum quietly at what you could eat. But, are you really hungry? Or are you just bored? See, this is how you get fat, Anon. Get your shit together.
You close the refrigerator. Then pause. Then re-open the door.
"I mean, those leftovers need to be eaten eventually, right?"
Then, the normal knocks at your door grab your attention. Closing the door again, you mentally prepare yourself for whatever Fluttershy may have for you today. You open the door to find Fluttershy standing outside, a trail of blood dripping down her lip.
"H-hi, Anon," Fluttershy says gently.
You stare at the blood on her lip with mild concern.
"Uh, are you okay, Fluttershy?"
"Oh!" she says, barely hiding her lack of surprise. "Don't mind me, I just split my lip and look at all this blood! It's a darn good thing that blood isn't your fetish, or else you'd place your lips against mine and put your tongue in my mouth and-"
You slam the door in her face. Shaking your head, you turn away before there's an additional knock at the door. Groaning, you turn around to re-address your admirer.
"What?" you grunt.
Yet, now she stands in front of you in a large red outfit, reminiscent of a noble in the 18th century from Earth. She wears a large red hat and yellow spectacles.
"How about this?" she asks. "Vampire hunters are all the rage these days. It's the exact Opposite of blood!"
You shake your head.
"No. And your thinly-veiled anime reference is terrible."
"What's an anime?" she asks gently, tilting her head.
"Nevermind. Whatever. Go home."
You close the door again and take two steps before a knock reattracts your attention.
"For the LOVE of-"
You rip the door open.
"WHAT?!"
She stands outside, no longer in the outfit, but in a wholly different form. Her eyes have turned red, her wings batlike, and two pointed teeth stick out of her lip.
"Silly me! Clearly it's vampires. Now then... I'll happily suck your blood if you just lean down and bare your neck for me."
"Jesus Fuck, Fluttershy. It's not Blood. In any way, shape, or form. Now go home! I'm getting fucking tired of this."
You slam the door again, and turn around. Pausing, you take a deep breath. Three... Two... One.
Silence. You wait another second. Huh, maybe she actually left. You take a step. There's a knock on the door. You rip the door open.
"FUCKING WHA-"
You duck backwards in the knick of time to narrowly miss a box cutter.
"HOW ABOUT KNIFE PLAY, ANON?!" Fluttershy yells at you as she pushes forward into your home.
Scrambling, you sprint to your back door, screaming at the top of your lungs like a little girl. You burst through the door and sprint all the way into Ponyville, refusing to look back. Kicking open the door to Twilight's castle, you run past Spike and hide yourself deep within the Library, cross-referenced between the sections of "Nope" and "Fuck this shit."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You groggily hit your snooze alarm for the third time, then roll back over. Why the hell are you so tired today? You got at least seven hours of sleep. Normally you work on much less than that. But, considering its 30 minutes past your normal wake up time, you better get up now or fear the wrath of Applejack at your farm job.
On the other hand... maybe feeling Applejack's wrath wouldn't be a bad thing... Feeling her pent up frustration release-
You're falling back asleep. Stop it.
You try your best to re-open your eyes and roll yourself out of bed. Moving across the floor, you bump into your bedroom door and curse under your breath. After a cold shower doesn't quite help your exhaustion, you head downstairs to make some black gold and oatmeal. Turning on the coffee pot, you hear the knock on the door. Rubbing your eyes, you whisper more swears.
"Fucking Fluttershy... Always coming so fucking early. I'm so fucking done with all this bullshit..."
Grumbling, you stomp across the floor like a child. Ripping open the door, you acknowledge your normal morning visitor.
"What? I'm way too tired for this shit today."
"O-oh, I was worried about that..." Fluttershy says meekly. "Are you feeling okay? I was worried I may have used too many of the sleeping pills."
You pause, waiting for her to elaborate, but she stares up at you innocently.
"You gave me sleeping pills."
"U-uhm. Maybe?"
You pause again, rubbing your eyes.
"Why?" you ask, way more calmly than you probably should.
"Well... uhm. Can't you see?" she asks.
You take a moment to take a look at her. She's loosely dressed in your baggy, human sized clothes. Each of her front hooves go through arm holes of a white dress shirt, while her hind legs fit through a pair of jeans.
"W-what do you think? Are cute mares wearing your clothes your fetish?" she asks.
You stare at her, dumbfounded.
"So, you snuck into my house, drugged me, then while I couldn't remember and couldn't wake up, you took two pieces of my clothing and left."
"Yes," she says proudly, closing her eyes.
You open your mouth to say something, but decide not to. It might be a good idea to keep her innocent to the idea that she could have done much more while you were incapacitated.
"No, it's not my fetish. But. Tell you what. If you just give me my clothes back, you can tell the whole town you got into my pants."
"Why would I do that?" she asks.
"I dunno. At this point, you've been doing this so long that I assumed you've got a bet with Rainbow or something."
"U-uhm. No. I love you."
"Sure. Whatever. Give me my clothes back."
She stares at you for a second. Then, she turns tail and gallops away. You look down at yourself, wearing only a t-shirt and boxers.
"Damn it Fluttershy, those were my only pair of pants."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You sit on the couch, thumbing through your book of short stories. Whenever you need a good laugh, there's no better way to lift your spirits than with a good book. And this one is fantastic. It's an archive of cleverly thought out original humor with great timing and unique twists on old ideas. You especially loved it because the stories in this series of books never decided to push a joke for too long and never dived into easy outs like fourth wall breaks or referential humor. Then, there's a knock at your door.
You close your eyes, trying to remind yourself that this will only take a second. Putting the bookmark in your novel, you head to the door and stretch before opening the door. Fluttershy stands at your front door, smiling widely with a friend behind her.
"Hi Anon. I was wondering if this-"
"HI AAAANNNEEERRRNNNN," screams the horse behind Fluttershy.
You take a step back, trying to place where this mint-green horse could have met you before.
"Excuse me?" you ask, before the mare with a rock as a cutie mark leaps on you and sits on your face. "I NEED AN ADULT."
"I AM AN ADULT," the mare screams.
"Is, uhm. Is this pony your fetish?" Fluttershy asks.
Picking the pony into your arms, you rise to your feet and step outside.
"DO YOU HAVE CHICK TENDIES?" she asks.
"No," you say.
Holding her in your arms like a javelin, you put all of your might into throwing her across the horizon.
"And stay in your own goddamn story," you mutter. "How did you even bring her here, Fluttershy?"
"I didn't. She just appeared at my doorstep and wanted to see you."
"Oh, I see. Uh. So was that it?"
"No. That wasn't my fetish for today," she says meekly.
"Alright. Fine. Hold on a sec." You step onto the porch and squeeze past her, muttering "Excuse me." Once you're inside the house, you close the door. "Alright. Go ahead," you call through the door.
"Uhm, Anon. The door is closed," she says.
"Yeah?" you call back.
"Well, uh. I was wondering if-"
"No, No! You have to knock!"
A quiet moment passes. Fluttershy makes three quiet, wavering knocks. You open the door.
"Alright, Fluttershy," you say in exasperation. "What is it today?"
Fluttershy stares at you like you've eaten your own boogers. Which, you swear you only do in the privacy of your own shower.
"Uhm, well. I was wondering if homeless, abused fillies are your fetish?"
"Wait, what?" you ask.
But before she can answer you, a third pony peeks around Fluttershy and walks beside her on your porch. The orange little filly that you recognize as Scootaloo peers up at you with tears in her eyes.
"Oh! Wait. Hold on," Fluttershy says. "Finishing touch."
Fluttershy thwacks Scootaloo in the right eye, and it gradually turns a shade of Black and purple.
"D-do you get off to this, Anon?" Scootaloo asks.
Your mouth drops, looking down at at the display in front of you.
"Fluttershy, this might be the most fucked up thing you've ever done. Go the fuck home. I don't want to see you for a week."
The yellow pegasus looks down at the ground, tears in her eyes and flutters away. Scootaloo turns, flapping her tiny malformed wings and blinks tears of pain out of her eyes.
"No. Not you, Scootaloo," you add. "You stay. I'm going to make you pancakes, go practice new scooter tricks with you in the park, and read you a bed-time story and you will fucking like it."
The filly looks up at you, head tilted.
"You know that I actually have parents, right?" she says.
"Oh. Uh. Yeah. I totally knew that. Uh. I meant. Uh. Fuck off."
You slam the door, sweat dripping down your face. Nopony will ever know the massive social faux-pas you made of thinking Scootaloo didn't have parents. I mean, what would people think if the public found out she actually did have parents? Her secret is safe with you. For now, you just have to hope that Fluttershy's guess for tomorrow doesn't involve anything worse than punching a filly in the face.
Author's Note
Something Something The Lyler Archive
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Standing in front of your closet, in the nude, you ponder what you'll wear for today. On the far left is the dry-cleaned black suit and red tie that many of the ponies in town have grown accustom to. On the other hand, there's always the simple t-shirt and jeans. Then again, you could say screw it, and just stay home all day being naked, sitting in a beanbag, eating Cheetoes and watching children's cartoons.
A knock on the door downstairs quickly invalidates that option. Answering the door naked might give the wrong impression to your guest, especially if that guest is Fluttershy. Then again, it probably would make her day. And you'd get laid.
This dry streak HAS gone on forever. Last time you really had a decent lay was from that drunk horse. And even then, you barely remember it. She seems nice though, even if the two of you can't look each other in the eye anymore.
Whatever. T-shirt and jeans it is.
Throwing on a pair of boxers, a t-shirt, jeans, and some loafers, you head downstairs to the persistent knocking at your front door. However, when you throw open the door, you're thrown for a loop.
Standing in front of you was certainly a yellow pegasus, but it looked nothing like the Fluttershy you know and loathe. Black streaks of dye run through her vividly pink hair and her ears are adorned in several gold and silver earrings. Her eyes shine brilliantly thanks to the black mascara that covers her lashes. She wears a two piece all black outfit that covers most of her body, that in some way makes her seem like a sort of edgy bumblebee.
"What the hell did you do?" you ask, skipping the formalities.
"W-what do you mean?" Fluttershy asks.
"You're... black."
"That's racist," she replies.
"You know what I mean," you say, backtracking. "You're wearing all black clothes!"
"Uh-huh! Is being a goth your fetish, Anon?" she asks happily.
You stare at here more, drinking in her form. Her shirt, erm, if you could call it a shirt if a horse is wearing it, has a sort of band name on it, but you can't make out the name over the overly curled dead-tree limb font. Her pants, pony pants, ponts, are covered in little metal spikes and jingly chains with yellow and pink accents.
"No. I-it's. It's not," you answer.
"Uhm, then why are you stuttering?" she asks.
"I'm just impressed. I wouldn't think Equestria had things like these. Where did you get these?"
"Oh! That was easy! I went to Pony Topic!"
Your jaw drops, feeling the start of something terrible set in motion.
"NO! NO! NONONO! We're DONE!"
"Can I touch your big dick now, please?"
"NO!"
You slam the door in her face. Fluttershy looks down at the porch and softly kicks the welcome mat, the chains near her rear gently jingling.
"I wonder what got into him?" she says, before turning away and trotting home. "I wonder if I can still return these."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You find yourself in a completely white space.
“Uhhh... Where the hell am I?”
“I'm happy you asked, Anonymous.”
You turn, to find a purple-blue cloud of smoke form itself into the shape of an alicorn.
“Princess Luna?”
“Indeed, Anonymous. And I've been watching you for awhile now. I cannot say I can approve of all of your actions towards Fluttershy lately.”
You groan.
“Really? But come on, Luna. You know that-”
“You do not know Fluttershy like I do, Anonymous. So, tonight. I'm going to take you into her dream. After that, you can do whatever you wish.”
The yellow mist surrounds you and sets you at ease. This place didn't feel like any of the other dreams. You feel the environment spin around you. Air flows past you as you slowly descend to a patch of grass standing alone in the empty yellow world.
Gently you touch down on the grass and the platform expands outward, revealing trees and a bright blue sky. The sun shines brightly overhead as you can hear your own laugh from behind you.
"What the..." you whisper under your breath.
You turn around, to hear the source of your own voice. Sitting under the shade of a large oak tree is you and Fluttershy. She lays cuddled up in your lap as your other self holds her close to him.
"I wish every day could be like today Anon... You holding me tightly as we guess what the clouds look like..."
"Me too, Fluttershy. I can't believe it took me this long to finally realize how much I needed you in my life."
The dream Anon looks down into her eyes.
"You complete me."
She blushes and buries her head into Anon's chest.
"You know what else, Fluttershy?"
She peeks up at her lover with caring eyes.
"What's that sweetie?"
"I think... I think I want to wait until after we get married for us to make love."
Fluttershy looks up at Anon with the widest smile you've ever seen a pony give.
"Oh Anon! You don't know how much that means to me!"
She wraps her arms around Anon.
"I never liked guessing your fetish... I never wanted to do those things to you... I just wanted you to notice me."
Anon pulls away a strand of hair away from her face and wipes away one of her happy tears.
"Noticing you, was the greatest thing to ever happen to me."
You stand rooted to the spot watching this display of romance. Was all of this true?
Fluttershy, the crazed sex demon... never actually wanted you? Instead, she just wanted... you.
"Hey Shy?"
She stares into the sky while Anon plays with her hair.
"Yeah?"
"What if this could last forever?"
She sits up to look at him.
"What do you mean?"
Anon smiles at her and chuckles to himself.
"What's so funny, Anon?"
Anon pulls out a small slender box, and opens it up to her. Fluttershy gasps and puts her hooves to her mouth.
"Anon... how did you afford this?"
"It doesn't matter... what matters is your answer."
She sits up, awestruck. Anon moves to his knee.
"Will you marry me Fluttershy?"
The air around you shifts as you find yourself sitting in a pew as a yellow pegasus in a long white gown approaches the front of a church. Princess Celestia stands at the front next to Anonymous, wearing the best tuxedo that Rarity could possibly make. Fluttershy slowly makes her way down the aisle, tears streaming down her face and a smile that could make any man forget his woes.
"I have to be dreaming... I have to be..."
She reaches the front of the room and Anon pulls off her veil and wipes away a newly forming tear.
"Not this time."
Her eyes go wide and new tears begin to form.
"I.. I have to tell her..."
You stand up.
"No, Anonymous."
Luna intervenes.
"This is her dream. You must let her have it."
"But..."
"No."
You stand there in silence as Celestia begins the ceremony.
"If you do not wish to stay Anonymous... you do not have to."
It's true. You could just leave. She's so happy. You might never get this chance again.
"I know..."
Sitting back down, you watch as Fluttershy takes out a small golden ring from a box.
"With this ring. I, Fluttershy, take you, Anonymous..."
She stops to compose herself. Fluttershy's face is a flush red.
"to be my lawfully wedded husband..."
She sniffs loudly and takes a deep breath.
"to h-have and to hold, f-from this day forward, for b-better, or for w-worse..."
Fluttershy's nervousness begins to set in as she stumbles over her lines. Each word begins to become a new challenge as she professes her eternal love for Anon in front of all of these ponies.
"for r-richer, for p-poorer, in s-sickness and in health"
She looks up into Anon's eyes. The eyes of her love. Suddenly the words don't seem so difficult to her any more.
"until death do us part."
"I now pronounce you man... and mare."
The world begins to spin around you once more, as you see yourself coming home to Fluttershy's cottage.
"Honey I'm home!"
Fluttershy flies to Anon and litters him with kisses.
"How's the baby doing?"
"Baby?"
Taking a closer look at Fluttershy, she does look larger.
"She's been kicking... but that probably means she can't wait to see her daddy."
Anon gets on his knee and places his face next to where his child rested.
"Hey there baby girl. It's only going to be a few more days."
Fluttershy giggles.
"Soon, you will be able to get out of there and see the most beautiful pegasus in the world... your mommy."
Anon strokes Fluttershy's mane and lightly kisses her neck.
"I love you Anon."
"I love you too, Shy."
The world spins around you one more time. Slowly Fluttershy's living room materializes into view one more time. Fluttershy and you are playing with a satyr child. Her flowing pink hair falls gently to her waist accentuating her yellow hooves.
"My turn, Daddy!"
"Okay go ahead Amber."
The smiling satyr grabs some dice and rolls them.
"Uhm... uhm. Mommy? What's that number?"
"Well let's count it sweetie. How many dots are there?"
Amber looks down at her hands and counts carefully on her fingers.
"Oh! Is it six?"
"That's right!" replies her proud mother.
She takes her piece on the game board and carefully moves it forward. Her eyes widen.
"Dat means I win!"
Amber's face lights up and does a cheer that is perfect replica of her mother. You stand looking on the scene with conflicted emotions.
"Luna... that's my daughter."
"This is just a dream, Anon."
"I don't know. I just... don't know what to think anymore."
Your eyes return to the scene where it's changed to the small family huddled around a warm fireplace. Outside it's snowing and you are reading to them. Fluttershy cuddles up into your arms while she brushes Amber's hair.
"Anonymous. Morning is approching. We don't have long here."
"Just a little longer... please."
The world spins around you viciously. It must be harder for you to stay here since she's waking up. Your body is pulled in many different directions. A rhythmic beeping sound fills your ears. Slowly, you open your eyes. Fluttershy lays in a hospital bed while Anonymous holds her hand. Her face looks old and tired, while Anon's hair has began to gray.
"Anon... I just want you to know that you gave everything that I could have ever wanted."
Your doppleganger holds her hand and begins to sob.
"What am I going to do without you?"
Fluttershy gives a weak smile as her eyelids begin to droop.
"Live on... for me. I'll be waiting for you."
She wipes a tear from her husband's face.
"Anon... You complete me."
A tear leaks from your eye and slowly falls down your face.
"Luna... I want to go home now."
You wake up in a cold sweat. Right on time, you hear a knock on your door.
It has to be her. You move to the door and grip the handle. Slowly you open it. Fluttershy stands in front of you and looks down.
"Hi Anon. Are... uh."
She sits there, looking at the ground.
"Fluttershy."
"Pony feathers. I forgot my guess for today. Sorry, Anon."
She lifts herself up and turns away from you.
"Hey... are you alright?"
Fluttershy slowly turns to you.
"Have you ever had a dream that you didn't want to wake up from, Anon?"
You go silent.
"It just felt so real. Anyway, you don't need to tell me. I'll go home. I know you don't want me around."
You watch in silence as Fluttershy turns away and starts to walk back home. Fuck.
"Hey Fluttershy..."
She turns back to face you. You give her a wide smile.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The toast pops out of the toaster, golden brown, crispy and delicious. Grabbing a paper plate, you pull the toast out and spread some peanut butter on top with a knife. The peanut butter begins to melt from the heat of the bread, becoming gooey, nutty, and malleable. Taking a glass from your cupboard you pour yourself a glass of milk and put it on the counter beside the toast.
Leaning back on your kitchen counter, you wonder to yourself how you should spend today. To be honest, your house has kind of became a living pigsty lately. It might be prudent to do some chores. But that means being an adult. Adulting is harrrdddd.
Taking a deep breath, you open your dishwasher and dump each of your dirty dishes in haphazardly and turn it on. Grabbing a piece of toast, you take a bite and wash it down with some milk. The peanut butter and milk fills your mouth with sweet, creamy nutty goodness. Nothing's better than having some delicious nutty cream in your mouth.
Don't think too hard about that.
Of course, then, you hear the typical knock at your door. Taking the toast with you, you head to your front door and place your hand on the handle. You take a bite right as the door swings right into your face. You're caught off guard as the door connects directly with your nose.
You fly backward, the hardened bread going down your throat hard. Then it stops.
Your eyes bulge as you gasp for breath, your lungs retract. You reach out for help as Fluttershy trots in happily. She stands over you with a wide smile and a maternal gaze.
"I just know I'll get it today!" she says as you bring your hands to your throat. "Choking is your fetish. It has to be!"
You squeeze your throat, but searing pain shoots through your body. You try to cough, but it only comes out as muffled wheezing. Tears pour from your eyes as you grab at the pink mane of your intruder, begging silently for help.
"O-oh! You really like it, don't you?" she asks innocently. "Okay. I won't stop it then."
You shake your head as hard as you can. Urgently you try to scream 'No you fucking bitch help me I'm going to die help me help me help me,' but it comes out as muffled wheezing and coughs. Crawling on the ground, just as you saw in those army movies on Earth, you make your way to the kitchen table.
All you need is to ram a chair up into your stomach. A sort of self Heimlich maneuver. The edges of your vision go blurry and red as your fingers have less and less grip on your floor. You try to cough again, but nothing comes out. You cry for help, but nothing comes out. Everything goes black.
When you wake up, you lie in a hospital bed, a white furred pony with a pink mane standing beside you, writing down notes on a clipboard. You groan, looking to the nurse.
"Oh! You're awake!" says the nurse. "Are you okay? We had a quite a scare with you."
You try to open your mouth, but the searing pain in your throat renders you mute. Shrugging your shoulders, the nurse sighs happily.
"That's to be expected. You were without oxygen for a long time. When we got the call, we arrived at your house and you didn't have any pants on. We know auto-erotic asphyxiation is a thing, but you really need to be more careful."
You open your mouth to reply, but your brain doesn't even know how to comprehend what the nurse just told you.
"Like, I have a special noose at home for those sorts of things. It's okay, I totally understand."
You close your mouth, and stare at the horse in front of you. She giggles to herself and rips a piece of paper off her clip board and places it in your hand.
"Be sure to give me a call some time, cutie."
She trots out of the room and closes the door, leaving you alone in the hospital room. You look down at yourself in a hospital gown, your throat inflamed and swollen. You're hooked up to oxygen, and you have a mare's number in your hand.
'What the fuck just happened?' you wonder to yourself.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You sit on your couch, turning a piece of paper over and over in your hand. That nurse gave it to you when you woke up at the hospital. Every other time she came in to check on you, there was a doctor, so it didn't seem like the right time to talk to her. With a sigh, you set the slip down on the coffee table beside you and lay back on your couch.
This makes things complicated. Since the two of you didn't talk before you were ejected from the hospital, you aren't really quite sure what to do next. You don't have a phone. Electrical commodities like that are few and far between in Equestria, and if they do exist, it's hardily following some sort of consistent rule. It just drives home how fucking weird this place is.
Blinking your eyes, you roll to your side. You barely even know her. You suppose she's kinda cute. The pink hair is nice. You've always kinda liked pink hair. And she has a good job. So there's that.
But what she was saying about autoerotic asphyxiation sticks in your mind. Who does she think you are? Some sort of outrageous kinkster looking for their next fix?
Maybe it would be better not to call her. Maybe it would be better to just be alone in this world of horses and not interfere with their lives more than you need to. It's not like you can have kids or anything. You shake your head and let out a deep breath at the thought that never fails to stab yourself.
Then, there's three gentle knocks at the door. Good, a distraction. Fucking Fluttershy to the rescue. That was sarcasm, if you didn't catch that.
Rising to your feet, you saunter to your front door and pull it open. Except, there's no Fluttershy on the other side. You take a step outside and look around, then look down to your welcome mat. Sitting there, waiting patiently, as a small grey flip phone. You pause, staring at the familiar Earth device.
"What the actual shit," you mutter to yourself.
What the hell? A cell phone? This is ridiculous. Next thing you know, there's going to be computers and digital projectors. Then you'll be hearing about stupid desk jobs in bigger cities in Equestria. Yeah, that'll be the day.
You pick up the cell phone and turn it over in your hand. Taped to the back is a small charger and cord. Well, look at you. You just got a plot device. Congrats, Anon.
Closing your front door, you move to your kitchen and plug the charger into a free electrical port. Opening the phone, you notice you have one new text message. You open the unread message and see it's sent from the only contact on your phone.
"From: Fluttershy <3"
Well, that's gotta fucking change.
"Hi, Anon! Did you get your phone? Please respond."
Well, you suppose it is a gift. Tapping along the keys, you prepare your own message.
"Yeah. Thanks I guess."
Then you hit send. Closing the phone, you stare at your new possession. Then an idea strikes you. Walking to your couch, you grab the number that Redheart gave you and program it into your phone.
The phone now proudly shows the two contacts: Fluttershy <3 and-
Nope. Wait a second. Opening her contact, you remove that heart. All better.
The phone now proudly shows the two contacts: Fluttershy and Redheart.
You highlight the Nurse's name and sit back down on your couch. Well, now you have a phone. Should you just call her? You don't know what kind of number this is. It could be a house phone. It could be a cell phone, now that you know they are, in fact, a thing that exists. It shouldn't be fake. She gave you the number unsolicited.
You flip the phone closed and place it on top of the paper on your coffee table. This shouldn't be hard. Why is this hard?
Your phone begins to buzz and ring a gentle melody of that infectious song the town sings when they plow snow. Picking up the phone, you see you have one new message from Fluttershy. Opening the message, you are immediately greeted with a zoomed in picture of Fluttershy's Fluttercunt and asshole.
"Is sexting your fetish, Anon?" she asks in the message.
"No. Stop. Or I'm blocking you," you respond before deleting the picture.
Going back to your contact listing, you take a deep breath. Opening Redheart's number, you press 'Call.'
The phone begins to ring as you put it to your ear. Once. Twice. Three times.
"Hello?" picks up a familiar voice on the other side of the phone.
"Uhm, Redheart? It's Anon."
"Oh! Hey! I was hoping it was you."
A flutter in your chest renders you speechless.
"Oh. Well. Uh. How's it going?"
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You sit outside of Sugarcube corner, staring down into a mug of brown liquid. Sipping your coffee, you take a deep breath and try to shake off your nerves.
It's okay, Anon. It's just coffee. It's not a big deal. Except, it's with a mare that you've met twice, and randomly gave you her number.
Sure, the phone conversation went well. Sex stuff didn't come up at all. She seems really nice. And she laughed at your jokes too. That's all good signs.
Then why are you so nervous?
Shaking your head, you look around at your surroundings. Redheart doesn't seem to be anywhere. Nor is there any sign of Fluttershy. This is good.
Well, it's not good. What if the nurse stands you up? On the other hand, that's totally okay. It's not like you have high hopes to not be alone in Equestria anymore. It's not like you have had the nurse on your mind for the last few days. It's not like you were here thirty minutes early, and have been checking your watch for the last 28 minutes and 14 seconds. Whoops. 18 seconds.
Taking a sip of your coffee, you lean back in your chair. Everything is going to be fine. Stop worrying so much, Anon.
"Hi, Anon," says a familiar female voice.
Jumping an inch at the unexpected voice, you sit up to find the pink haired-- Fluttershy.
"Is this seat taken?" she asks innocently.
"Yes."
Fluttershy sits down across from you, smilling widely.
"Did you set up a little date for us, Anon? I didn't know you really cared," she says, sounding happy.
"No. This isn't a date."
Because it's not a date. It's totally not a date. It's just coffee with a mare who gave you her number.
"Oh, Anon. You don't have to play coy with me. We're hardily being subtle anymore," she says with a smile.
Then, you notice something caressing your leg.
"Fluttershy, if I look under the table and you're playing hoovsies with me, I'm going to destroy you."
The yellow pegasus giggles and shakes her head.
"That's not my leg," says with a smile.
Fear fills your soul as you feel the mass throb against you. You back up your chair, and fearfully look under the table. A massive yellow horsecock bulges against your leg, dribbling with pre-cum.
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, FLUTTERSHY?!"
"Is Futanari your fetish, Anon?" she asks eagerly.
"NO! THAT'S IT. I'M LEAVING!"
You turn on the spot, hands in your pocket and begin to walk away from the small cafe. Setting some distance between you and Fluttershy, you eyes are caught by a mare off in the distance with a white coat, long pink hair tied into a ponytail, and wearing a robin's egg blue sweater. Stopping on the spot, you wave your arm in the air and grab her attention. Redheart's eyes move up to you, and a wide smile curls on her lips.
"Hey!" she calls out as she moves directly to you. "I hope I didn't keep you long."
"No, not at all," you say happily. "Hey, instead of coffee, wanna go for a walk in the park?"
Nurse Redheart smiles.
"Sure! It doesn't make any difference to me. Lead the way."
You walk beside the mare, keeping pace with her step, looking down at her.
"So, what's up? How was work?" you ask as the two of you walk towards the Ponyville park, a yellow pegasus standing in the road behind you, out of sight, tears welling in her eyes.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Butterscotch (Rule 63) - Redheart 4
You sit at your kitchen table, a notepad in front of you with a pencil in hand. At the top of the page reads "Second date ideas:" And the rest is blank.
Running your hands through your hair, you check the clock. It's been half an hour. Goddamnit, Anon. THIS SHOULD NOT BE HARD.
Everything was great last time. The two of you laughed, teased each other, told jokes. It turns out she even likes puns. Things, honestly are punderful. You find your head swimming with thoughts of her gorgeous ice-blue eyes, her soothing voice, the way her fur feels, the scent of her hair...
Oh god, does this mean you're weird? You must be weird. You shouldn't be thinking of a mare like this after only one date. On the other hand, she might be thinking of you like this too, having this very same crisis. If that's the case, maybe it won't be so bad. On the other hand, she won't be thinking of you like that for long IF YOU CAN'T THINK OF A GODDAMN DATE IDEA!
You throw the pencil against the paper and lean back in your chair. A knock at the door breaks you from your train of thought. Shaking your head, you remain in your seat. You could totally just sit here, and just not answer. Not answering is always an option.
In total silence, you sit at your kitchen table, waiting. There's another three knocks at the door, and then you hear an attempt to turn your locked doorknob. Come on, Fluttershy. Just go home. Hasn't this gone on long enough? Can't this chapter of your life finally close and move onto something newer and more exciting? The world around you is moving, and Fluttershy keeps trying to desperately pull you back to the past.
With another three knocks, you sigh and rise to your feet. Striding over to the door, you unlock the door and open it wide. Except, you're caught completely off guard. Standing in front of you is most certainly a yellow pegasus with long pink hair and cyan eyes, but this is not Fluttershy. This is a stallion.
"Uhm, hi Anon."
"Uh. Hi."
"D-don't you recognize me?" asks the gentle, male voice.
"Fluttershy?"
"Kind of. I changed my gender."
"You changed your gender?" you ask.
"It's rude to repeat people, Anon."
"Sorry, I'm just shocked that, out of all the things you've tried, that this didn't come up earlier."
"Have you ever doubted yourself so much that you aren't sure what you're doing with your life any more?" he says.
"What?"
"What?"
An awkward silence falls between you and Flutterstallion.
"I'm not gay."
"Not even a little bit?" he asks.
"Nah. Not even bi."
"Huh. Well, I suppose that takes care of that."
"Yeah," you say.
Another silence falls between you two.
"Are we not going to address how you managed this transformation in less than 24 hours?" you ask.
"Oh, it was a spell Twilight did for me," he says.
"And she didn't find that weird at all?"
"You'd be surprised at the things Twilight has to deal with on a daily basis," he replies.
"I don't think I want to know," you say.
Butterscotch nods, then kicks the ground.
"So, um. I saw you with a mare yesterday," he says.
A sort of lump falls in the pit of your stomach.
"Oh, yeah. Uh. Redheart. She's cool."
Butterscotch nods, then looks to the floor.
"Are you two... you know. A couple?"
"What? Uh. No!" you say reflexively. "I think we're just friends, now. I don't know. Wait. Actually. This is none of your business. Go home."
You stand back and slam the door in her face. His face. Whatever.
Taking a deep breath, you sit back down at your table. Well, Fluttershy knows about Redheart. What does that mean? Is she going to change? Is she going to back off now? Who knows. You suppose that you'll only know when tomorrow comes.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You turn yourself around in your full-length mirror. The black suit fits you nicely, and the red tie over the white button up really gives you a classic look. Examining your full Winsor knot one more time, you triple check that everything is straight and perfect. You have shaved. You have good smelling cologne on you. Horse cologne that you don't mind smelling, at least. Your shoes shine brilliantly. Your hair is expertly groomed. Everything should be perfect.
Who would have thought that Redheart would have leaned towards such fancy tastes? Honestly, you've been wanting to go to the Ponyville Theatre for awhile now, but could never find a proper excuse.
Three knocks on the door downstairs distracts you from your internal monologue.
You look outside, where the sun gently sets against the horizon on this Friday night. You said you'd pick up Redheart from her place, so that could only mean one thing. With a sigh, you trudge downstairs and open the door. Fluttershy stands on the other side, looking as confident as ever.
"Hi Anon! Oh! You look nice. Is there an occasion?"
"Yeah. I have plans. What do you want?"
"O-oh! Well, you see. I had a new fetish guess that took me all day to-"
You slam the door in her face and skip upstairs happily. Now then, where were you? Oh yes! Breath! Moving into your bathroom, you fill your mouth with green spearmint mouthwash and begin to swish around. Six knocks on the door downstairs catches you off guard. You head back downstairs, swishing the mouthwash. It had to still be Fluttershy, but you'd think she'd have gotten the picture by now. What could she possibly want?
You open the door, and standing on your doorstep was not one, but two smiling Fluttershys.
"So, uhm. I wanted to ask if threesomes are your fetish?" one of them asks.
"Or maybe clones?" asks the second Fluttershy.
You spit your mouthwash all over the horses and gape at them.
"How?"
"There's this mirror pool, and Pinkie Pie used it once, but we were worried ponies would begin to use it for weird fetish things, so we locked it from the world."
"So, now you're here, using it for a weird fetish thing."
"That's right," they say in unison.
You slam the door. Turning around, nine knocks at the door forces you to stop in your tracks. Going back to the door, you open it, and sure enough, there's three fucking Fluttershys.
"How about a foursome?" asks the third horse.
"How many of you did you make?" you ask.
The three all looked at each other desperately.
"Wait. Did you just make a ton and plan to add one after another until you might have got it right?"
"Uhm."
"Well, the jokes on you. I don't have time for this. I have a date tonight."
A fourth Fluttershy pops her head out of a bush.
"So... it IS a date?" she asks.
"Yeah, I mean. Wait. How did you know about Redheart?"
Two or three more Fluttershys come out of the trees, giving away their hiding spot to listen closer.
"I saw you two... the other day," said the first Fluttershy, still covered in your spearmint spit. "You two looked... happy."
"Yeah, it's nice," you say.
The girls all look to each other weirdly, then a group of them begin to walk off.
"Alright, Anon. If multiple partners aren’t your fetish, we can leave. Have a nice date tonight," she says.
The rest turn and walk off your porch step.
"Wait, what?" you say to yourself as the pegasai trot away. "Just like that?"
You look down at your watch and shrug your shoulders. Weird. You'd think she'd be more broken up about all of this. Oh well, you've got a date tonight. A smile curls on your face as you close your front door and lock it.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Taking step after careful step, you walk to Nurse Redheart's door. You breathe in, then breathe out. Looking down at your suit, you give yourself a mental pep talk.
'Alright, Anon. You've worked hard to get this far,' you gently think. 'Don't fuck this up for yourself, dumbass.'
Nailed it.
You make three, careful knocks on the door. Then, you pause, realizing you knocked the exact same way Fluttershy does. Well, this is a weird role reversal.
Quickly, you add a fourth, off beat knock. Now you just feel REALLY awkward. Is she going to wonder why the fourth knock was off rhythm from the rest of them? OH GOD. MAXIMUM PALMS ARE SWEATY ALERT. BAIL OUT, ANON. PULL THE RED CORD AND PULL THE CHUTE! You hear a twisting on the doorknob.
It's all over now.
The door opens and standing on the other side, wearing a silken dress, is Nurse Redheart. She smiles at you, blushing, her ice blue eyes matches her dress to the very shade. Her gorgeous pink hair is let down, but expertly prepared. At the very least, it's a massive change from the hair bun you're used to seeing.
"Hey there," Nurse Redheart says. "How do I look?"
You take a deep breath, trying to find the right words to say.
"Like a goddess," you reply.
The edges of her cheeks develop a deep crimson hue as she steps out beside you and locks the door to her home.
"Well, let's go! We don't want to be late now do we?" she says with a nervous chuckle.
"Lead the way," you say with a smile
Taking your seat in the audience, the lights go down for the play to begin. Nurse Redheart sits to your right and you sneak private glances just to drink in her beauty. On the third time, not paying attention to the play, you notice she's doing the exact same thing. A flutter rises in your chest as your heart beats faster.
She smiles and, instead of backing away, looks into your eyes. And you look right back. You can smell the perfume she's wearing, which reminds you of summer lilies. Lifting your hand from your lap, you take a risk, and move it onto her hoof. Your skin touches her gentle white fur and she presses back, holding your hand. She beams back at you as she looks up to the play.
You turn your attention too. Then, feel a hard kick on the back of your seat, causing you to lurch forward to the ground. Your eyes go wide, and you do your best to stifle a curse among the other fancily dressed pony. Redheart stares at you as you rise to your feet. Standing up directly in front of your seat, you look to the row behind you to find your assailant.
Fluttershy sits directly behind you with a wide smile. You cast a look of impending death as you sit back down.
Suddenly, you feel something hovering behind your left ear.
"I sure hope cockblocks are your fetish, Anon," whispers Fluttershy, maliciously.
"Don't. Do. This," you mutter.
"Is something wrong?" Nurse Redheart whispers to you.
You turn to your date with a false smile, trying to ignore the pony shooting violent glances into the back of your head.
"Oh! No! Nothing! Just a little jumpy. Caffeine messes with humans a bit."
"Ooh. I see," Redheart says with a smile, taking your hand and holding it in her hoof once more.
"No worries, I'm having a great time," you reply.
That was a fucking terrible time.
Once you finally stood up, you nearly collapsed from the bruises on your back. You managed to stifle all of your yelps of pain by biting your lip, but now you're pretty sure that's blood in your mouth. Making your way out of the aisle, you walk Redheart out of the theater, sneakily casting glances behind you when you aren't looking.
It looks like you lost her.
You sigh some relief as you walk Redheart back to her home.
"I had a really nice time," she says, walking exceptionally close to you, her body leaning against your leg.
"So did I. I don't have the chance to go do nice things that often. This was a really nice change of pace for me," you reply.
Redheart giggles and looks up to you.
"Well, then we will have to do things together more often then," she says.
You look down to her, your head tilted.
"Oh really? Are we past the 'just dating stage' then?" you ask.
She puts on a coy smile and looks at you from the corner her eye.
"Well, are we?" she asks.
A blush rises to your cheeks.
"I know I wouldn't mind, well. Making it official," you reply.
"Then official it is."
"Awesome! I'll make the article for the town paper." You wave your hand in front of you, displaying a headline. "Redheart and Anonymous: madly in love."
Redheart laughs, and stops once you reach her door.
"Have I ever told you that you're kinda cute."
You smile, looking down at the pony.
"No, I don't think so," you reply.
"Then, how about I tell you a secret?" she says.
"Yeah? What's that?"
She motions a hoof to bring your ear down closer. You bend down, leaning your ear towards her mouth. She takes a hoof on your cheek away from her, and pulls your face to hers. You feel her lips connect to yours, and taste the sweetness of her strawberry chapstick. A tingle comes in your cheeks as your chest flies to the sky. Your eyes close, placing a hand to her face, feeling her soft snow-white fur.
She breaks the kiss, looking into your eyes from just inches away.
"Keep that a secret for me?" she says softly.
"On my honor," you reply.
"Good night, Anon," she says with a smile, placing a hoof on her door, opening it, and then stepping inside.
You straighten up and walk away from Redheart's with a newfound spring in your step.
Once you round the first corner to your home, you find a yellow pegasus staring at you across the street, the moonlight outlining her figure. Stopping, the two of you stare at each other, neither budging for the other. You take a step, but she does not move. Taking another, she does not follow. You continue the rest of the way home, your eye continuously watching over your shoulder.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You sit at your kitchen table, drinking your morning coffee, reading the newspaper. 'New Ponyville Play a smash hit! Shows added for a few more weeks!' Huh, you don't remember it being that great. Nevertheless, you did remember seeing it with somepony special. In addition, your back still hasn't forgotten.
The bruising is gone, thanks to Fluttershy being a weak little thing, but you still can't help but feel a little bit shocked by the whole thing. You can’t shake the way she stared at you that night. Is... Fluttershy okay? Is she mad that you're happy? Because, well, you can't go changing your life if she's going to hurt her own. Or is something more insidious planned?
Taking another sip, you sigh to yourself and open the paper to the funny pages. That's all we need. Just some good old-fashioned comedy. Like that dog, who constantly eats spaghetti and loathes Fridays. Most days, you thought your jokes were bad sometimes, but this is a whole different level. The paper makes you feel like a comedy genius. In fact, you bet you could take almost any concept and make someone get even a slight chuckle.
Three knocks at the door make you pause. You recognize that knock. Freezing in place, you wonder what you should do. Maybe... maybe things will be just like normal. Who knows? Maybe you being official with a mare won't stop her fetish guesses.
Or, maybe she'll step up her game. You feel your hairs stand up on end at the thought.
Three more knocks at the door, and you rise from your seat. You grab a nearby broom and walk to the door slowly, prepped for battle. Holding the broom in one hand, you grasp the doorknob with the other. Three more knocks. You turn the knob and open the door slowly. Fluttershy stands on the other side, a wide smile and beaming up at you just like any other day.
"Uh, hey," you say, unsure of what situation is about to unfold before you.
"Hi, Anon! I have a new guess today!" she says happily.
"Uhm, good."
Discomfort rises as you still hold your weapon on the other side of the door, out of sight from the horse. Fluttershy takes two steps around, then turns to the side. Your jaw drops as you take a step back. In place of her legs is now a strange looking harness and two large wheels. Where the tops of her legs used to be, are two yellow stumps, red and inflamed.
"Are disabled ponies your fetish, Anon?" she asks.
You feel bile rise to the top of your throat.
"YOU CUT OFF YOUR FUCKING LEGS?!" you scream.
"Well, I mean, the animals helped," she says innocently.
"YOU HAD ANIMALS HELP YOU CUT OFF YOUR LEGS?!"
"Well, mostly Harry. He was bear-y helpful."
Your mouth opens as you begin to close the door. Then you pause.
"How the fuck are you going to get those back on?" you ask.
"Oh, you know. I suppose I will have to go to the hospital. I have my legs on ice being delivered to emergency right now by my animals. I sure hope there's a nice Nurse on duty."
Fluttershy smiles, turns then trots away, singing merrily to herself. You stand frozen in place, unsure of what to do. Closing the door slowly, it locks with a click.
It's fine. Everything's going to be fine. Fluttershy wouldn't do something stupid in a public place.
Would she?
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Hoofflix and Chill - Redheart 8
Two knocks at your door. You pull your stir-fry dinner off the burner and set it aside. Two knocks? Two knocks. What the hell? What is going on today?
First, there was Fluttershy's weirdness last night. Then, this morning, her disturbing fetish. And then... two knocks on your front door. You move to a nearby window in your kitchen and peek outside. Standing outside your door is a familiar white pony, with a pink hair bun and ice blue eyes. A pang of fear juts in your stomach.
What happened? What the actual fuck happened? You jog to the door and throw it open. Redheart sighs happily and speaks.
"Oh thank goodness I found the right one," she says. "This was my third house I tried."
"Really?" you ask. "Well, I suppose you've never been here before. So, it makes sense."
"I had a really bad day," she says, exasperated. "I know it's short notice, and we just had a date yesterday, and it's all really dumb and stupid but, do you wanna have dinner tonight? I could really use the chance to unwind."
Your hairs stand on end. Terror fills your soul. You take a deep breath and let it out, trying to keep your composure.
"Sure," you answer, stepping aside. "Come on in."
Redheart steps into your home, and you close the door behind her.
"So what happened today?" you ask fearfully.
"It was the strangest thing," she says. "This pony came in with her legs cut off. Plus, she had them on ICE. I mean, it's like it was planned. Her stumps were sewn and bandaged correctly. The legs were perfectly preserved. With a little bit of unicorn magic, she was able to walk out of the hospital in an hour with no pain."
You exhale a breath of relief. Moreover, a part of you isn't sure why you're relieved.
"Well, that's good. Isn't it?"
Redheart looks at you incredulously.
"A pony cut her legs off to have them put on. How is any part of that good?"
You shrug your shoulders.
"Maybe she was trying to get a leg up on life?"
Redheart stares at you, dumbfounded. Then, she looks away, her composure wavering. Then she cracks into a loud guffaw of laughter.
"Oh... That. That was what I needed," she says, wiping away a tear of laughter.
You sigh in relief once more.
"I thought that joke was terrible. "
"It was. But if you can't learn to disconnect yourself from medical, you can't survive in it for long," the nurse says with a smile. "You have to find SOME humor in it at times. That's how you can tell what nurses will stick around."
You smile, grabbing your cell phone.
"Hey. Why don't I order a pizza, and we can turn on a movie or something?" you ask. "My treat."
Redheart nods and smiles.
"Sounds good to me, can I pick the movie?" she asks.
"Sure, they're all on that shelf over there," you say, waiving to your collection.
With a four cheese pizza on it's way, a bottle of cheap wine opened, and your thirteenth viewing of "One-Way Ticket"- A romantic comedy about a couple falling in love on a trip to a new city- you've found yourself calm and at ease.
Nurse Redheart sits beside you on the couch, curled up against you. She's let her mane down, took off her nurse hat, and watches the movie intently. You can feel the warmth of her body press against you, and you have your left arm draped around her back. With a smile, you can't help but feel that things are good. Like this is the way things should be. Life is good, and you wouldn't mind if things could go on like this for... who knows how long.
A knock at the door grabs your attention.
"Must be the food. One sec," you say as you pause the movie.
Rising to your feet, you head to the door, pulling out your wallet. You open the door.
"10 bits please," says the delivery mare as you are digging into your wallet.
"Alright, then 12 bits," you say, counting them out and raising your eyes to-
Fluttershy. Wearing a full pizza delivery outfit.
"Is video tape and consensual rape your fetish?" she asks quietly.
You stare at her, bitterness welling in your throat.
"Is everything alright, Anon?" Redheart asks, leaning towards the door.
Redheart can't see Fluttershy thanks to the door being open. You hand the money over to her.
"No," you whisper, taking the pizza.
Closing the door, you turn back to Redheart, who sips her glass of wine.
"Yeah, it's all good. Had to make sure I tipped."
"Well, look who's coming up to meet social standards," Redheart teases.
"What can I say?" you say, setting the pie down on the coffee table and sitting beside her. "I'm a pizza-trash."
"That was bad, even for you."
"Nah. I'm all good."
Redheart giggles as she turns the movie back on, failing to see the cyan eyes peering in through the window.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You open your eyes and smile. Rolling over, the warm covers clinging to you, you stretch your arms wide. It's amazing how good of a night's sleep you get when things are good in your life. Stepping out of bed, you throw on a pair of jeans and head downstairs, smiling widely.
Starting the coffee pot, you rub your drowsy eyes. Last night with Redheart was pretty great. The making out was... also very welcome. You even feel a slight pang in your chest, missing her. Snatching a coffee mug from your cabinet, you set it beside the pot as the coffee brews.
Then, three knocks at your door.
Oh boy, here we go again. You head to your door, going through your daily motions without a second thought. Fluttershy stands on the other side of the door, her face flat and emotionless.
"Mornin Fluttershy," you say with a yawn. "Whassup?"
The pegasus takes a deep breath and shakes her head.
"Nothing. Hey, um. How was your date?"
"It was nice," you say. "Thanks for-"
"Did Redheart manage to keep all of her tears in? You have quite the effect on ponies, you know."
Your eyes shoot open and you stare at her.
"Wait, what?"
"Did she manage to get a word in the conversations?"
"What do you-"
"You know, if you're scrambling for money to take her out on nice dates, you could always cancel that gym membership you don't use," she says.
"Wait a sec," you say, trying to get a word in. "Did you just call me fat and poor?"
"Well, not in so many words, Anon. That would be rude," she says, her face flat.
You look down at the mild tub your rockin’ on your chest. Folding your arms in front of you, closing you off from Fluttershy, you turn your attention to her.
"It's not that bad," you say, making a mental note to have more salads.
"Sure. I'm happy that Redheart is willing to settle for somepony like you," she says. "She's got a lot going for her, and so pretty too."
"Well, yeah, she is. Wait a sec."
The words finally register in your head. Settle for you? Redheart is settling for you?
Wait. No, you're awesome. Obviously. She loves your jokes. And you make enough in order to get by.
"Fluttershy, are you okay? You're being... really harsh today. It's unlike you," you reply.
Her eyes light up and her wings spread.
"It's working! I-is negging your fetish, Anon? I wouldn't put it past you!" she says.
You open your mouth, then falter, looking away.
"No, it's not. And I don't have to take this," you say closing the door.
"Sure, Anon. Runaway from your problems again. You're not fooling anyone."
Closing the door and locking it, you pause, staring at the wooden barrier between you and the outside world. Are you really all of those things? Are you a failure?
No! That would be ridiculous. You take a deep breath and move to your coffee pot.
Taking a glance at the phone, recharging at the counter, you grab it. Opening it to Nurse Redheart's number, you open a new message. Then you stop.
Closing the phone, you pour yourself a mug of coffee. Then you pause once more.
Grabbing the phone again, you reopen the message to Redheart and type out a message.
"Good Morning, Gorgeous. I'm the luckiest human in Equestria to have met you."
Send.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Heading downstairs, you check your phone. One unread text message from Redheart. Flipping open the phone, you open to the message which has a smiling picture of her inside.
"Good Morning Handsome! Can't wait to come over tonight. XOXO - Redheart"
You smile, as you type a reply back.
"Morning! I can't wait either. See you soon. XO"
Send.
Taking the photo, you set it to the phone's background. Setting the phone back down, you move to your refrigerator to pull out the ready to cook pancake mix you've been craving.
It's been a long time since you last treated yourself. Maybe now is the right time. It is a Friday, after all.
You kick on the coffee pot and grease up a pan, wondering what type of syrup you should put on your pancakes. Then, there's the knock at the door. You pause, looking back and wonder if you should answer it.
Fluttershy was... kinda mean yesterday. It's sorta unlike her. Well, not that she hasn't stooped to different lengths to guess your fetish before, but this time it seems to have some serious malice from it.
You take two steps to the door, then stop, turning back to the stove, letting the temperature rise. Three more knocks at the door, and you smile as you pour a pancake in the pan. The first side cooks as you pour yourself a cup of coffee.
Now then, Maple or Blueberry syrup? Three more knocks at the door. Maple. Today doesn't feel like a berry good day for blueberry. Now, if it were a mulberry syrup, it would be a whole different story.
Three knocks at the door.
You turn the pancake, revealing it's golden brown side. Turning to the door again, you sigh and take the pan off the burner. Standing at the door, you take a deep breath, then pull it open.
On the other side, of course, is Fluttershy. But, today, she's got a wholly different form. Today, her cheeks are pudgy, her flank is more rounded and curvy, and her haunches seem to draw the eye a bit more.
"Good Morning, Anon. Sleeping in late again?"
"Uh, I don't sleep in that often," you reply.
"Oh! Sorry. Was just trying to guess why you're always late. Anyway-"
"I am not late," you snap.
Fluttershy smiles turning her head.
"There's no need to lose your temper, Anon. It's fine! Really."
You grumble as you shift your weight from foot to foot.
"What? What do you want?"
Fluttershy nods, getting to the point.
"Oh! Well, I was just wondering if overweight ponies were your fetish."
You raise an eyebrow, slightly surprised.
"Uh. No. Why?"
Fluttershy makes a motion similar to a shrug and looks away.
"I was figuring you just would be interested in a pony more your size."
"Hey, I'm not fat," you say.
"Sure, Anon. Whatever you need to tell yourself," Fluttershy says, turning away.
"I'm NOT! I know I'm not! I couldn't get fat with all the fucking vegetables I have to eat in this horse hellhole."
"Well, I'm happy you keep your sweets and carbs down. I really must be going, Anon." Fluttershy says, walking away.
"Fine! Whatever. Go! I'm not fat!"
"Sure, Anon."
You open your mouth and take a step out of your house, but then stop. Stepping back inside, you slam the door closed.
"Fucking Fluttershy," you grumble to yourself.
Going back to your stove, you look at the warm, fresh pancake, sitting in the pan. Picking up the pan, you walk to your trashcan and dump the breakfast. You toss the mix in the trash and grab an apple from your fruit bin.
Grabbing your phone, you check for new messages. Nothing. Opening the phone to a new message, you begin to type one to Redheart.
"I miss you."
Then you pause. You delete the message, close the phone, then walk away.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Full Disclosure - Redheart 11
Putting on your suit, you check yourself out in the mirror. You look pretty good. Straightening up your tie, you take a deep breath and run your hands over your face.
Is this really going to make you look any better than you usually do? What's the point?
Wait a second. Stop that, Anon. You're an awesome person. There's no reason to doubt yourself or feel like a bad person. It doesn't matter if you're inferior to anyone else, or if someone is better than you. All that matters is that you're happy with you who are.
Grabbing your bottle of cologne, you dab around your neck as you ponder those thoughts. You thought you were happy with who you are. What changed?
Whatever. Some time with Redheart should make everything better. When you're around here, the world seems to fall back into place.
Heading downstairs, you walk out your front door and begin the walk to Redheart's house.
Don't mess this up tonight, Anon. This should be a good date. Don't think so hard or worry. She loves you.
Wait a second. Does she?
The two of you have never used that word before. Your pace slows as you walk to Nurse Redheart's home. Don't worry about that. That doesn't matter right now. Taking a deep breath, you walk up to the door, and knock.
"This is one of my favorite places," Redheart says happily as the two of you take your table. "I've always loved pasta."
"Me too. See, back on Earth, we just called it 'Italian food', and there was endless possibilities for what you could have on pasta."
"Really? What was an Italian?"
"Oh. Well, it was a country. There was lots of different countries on Earth. It's kinda hard to explain."
"I see," Redheart says, taking her glass of water as the waiter trots away to help with another table. "You don't talk about Earth very much. Was everything okay there?"
"Oh yeah! Everything was fine!" you say. "Fine enough, anyway. I had friends. A job. A place to live. My family loved me, even if it wasn't particularly huge."
"What was it like?" she asks. "Was it different from Ponyville?"
"Not a whole lot, I guess. It's a lot like Equestria, except the ponies would be humans. And, well. There's way more of them. We also have a bit more advanced technology, but we don't have magic. It's a give and take."
"That's fascinating," she says. "Have you ever thought about writing books about that world? I'm sure ponies would find it fascinating."
You shrug.
"Honestly, I think I'm a terrible writer. I don't think anyone here would waste their time reading something I wrote."
Nurse Redheart casts you a concerned glare.
"You'll never know unless you try. Who knows! Anything could happen."
She reaches a hoof out on the table.
"Don't sell yourself short, babe."
Reaching out your hand, you take her hoof and hold it. A smile forms as you straighten your posture and take a deep breath.
"Yeah, you're right. Maybe I'll give it a shot."
"That's my Anon," she says with a smile.
Taking your glass of water and taking a sip, you take a moment to glance at your surroundings. The restaurant is packed tonight, ponies fill all of the tables and hired help trot around in a frenzy trying to fill out orders. Looking at your neighboring table, you catch sight of Applejack's brother, Big Macintosh, sitting beside... wait a second.
Fluttershy?!
You swallow your drink painfully. What is Fluttershy doing here? Why is she with big Macintosh?
You look back to Redheart, who happily looks over her menu. What's going on? What's going to happen? What is this? Burying yourself into the menu, the waiter comes back around.
"Decided what we want?" he asks.
"Sure! I'll have the Pesto," Redheart says happily.
"A fine choice," he replies. "And you, sir?"
"Alfredo," you answer, handing off the menu.
"Also a good choice. It'll be just a moment."
"Thanks," you and Redheart say as you consciously rest your head on your hand, shielding your face from Fluttershy.
Redheart looks at you confused, then leans over the table in a whisper.
"Is everything alright?" she asks.
You take a deep breath and look her in the eyes.
"I... guess? It's hard to explain," you say.
Redheart smiles and sips her water.
"I'm all ears," she replies.
Composing yourself, you sit up straight.
"I suppose I should tell you about... well, my stalker."
Nurse Redheart sits back in her chair.
"What?" Redheart asks. "Did you say…"
"Yeah. It's... not good."
Redheart looks down at her drink then back to you.
"Okay. Well, I'm still listening."
"Take a look at that table over there," you say, nodding your head over to Big Mac and Fluttershy.
Redheart glances, then sits up straight in recognition.
"That's the mare that sawed off her legs," she says.
"Yeah. Well, sadly I know about that," you say. "That's Fluttershy, one of the Elements of Harmony."
"I know," Redheart says, looking back to you. "Just, patient confidentiality and all."
"She follows me around. Took pictures of me when I wasn't looking. Peeps into my home, and comes to my door every day trying to... well, hit on me."
"Haven't you tried to get some sort of... I don't know. Restraining order?" she asks. "This is all, just... so hard to believe."
"Royal Immunity. She's friends with every Princess in Equestria. Nothing goes through," you say with a sigh. "It just really wears on me."
"So.. wait, are you saying she sawed off her legs to-"
"Hit on me," you say, completing her sentence.
Redheart looks down at her drink, then back at you.
"Does that get you off or something?" she asks.
"NO! Not at all. That's what she does. She comes every day trying to figure out what does."
"Huh," Redheart says, taking a sip of her drink. "Weird."
"Yeah."
"Well, she seems to be pretty happy tonight," she says.
You turn back to Fluttershy, who's lips are locked onto Big Macintosh. You look away to Redheart. Redheart looks up at you, concerned.
"Should... should we go?" she asks.
"No... No," you say as your food arrives. "This is fine. We're here to have a nice night. So we're going to enjoy it."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Redheart smiles and raises her glass.
"That's the spirit."
Loading a fork with your food, you eat your dinner, ignoring the neighboring table.
"So, how was work?" you ask.
"Oh, not bad. You know, same old same old."
You smile, swallowing your food.
"You're the only pony I know that could remark about something like saving a life as 'same old.'"
Redheart rolls her eyes.
"This is Ponyville, Anon," she says. "The worst we deal with around here is some bad cramps and broken wings."
"I suppose that makes sense," you snicker.
"Oh! Is that Anon?" calls a voice from not far away.
You look up to Redheart, who gives you a puzzling look.
"I think that is!" says Fluttershy.
Out of the corner of your eye, Fluttershy rises to her hooves and trots over your table.
"What a coincidence, Anon! I was just here with Big Macintosh. What brings you here?" she asks.
Your hand balls into a fist, but Redheart reaches across the table and places a hoof on your hand.
"I don't think we've met before," Redheart says, looking up to Fluttershy.
Fluttershy looks down to Nurse Redheart with a smile.
"Why, aren't you the Nurse at the hospital?" she asks.
"I am," she says. "Anon and I were here on our date."
"A date?!" she says happily. "Why Anon! You should have told me! We could have made it a double date."
You grumble, looking away from her.
"Why, why don't we? There's no time like the present! Why don't we just merge our tables together and make it a foursome!"
"Why don't you go f-"
"I think we'd prefer to be alone," Redheart says acidicly to Fluttershy.
Fluttershy looks down at Redheart, her eyes focused in a lazer hate-beam at her.
"I see," she says quietly. "Well then, I hope the two of you enjoy your evening."
Big Macintosh looks painfully between Fluttershy, Redheart, and you.
A part of you feels bad for the guy. He probably has no idea what's going on. What could she have done to him to get a kiss out of him? She'll likely just toss him aside now that his usefulness has been expended for whatever guess she had for tonight. Judging by the way she stomps back to her table, you can tell that some sort of plan was thwarted.
You look back to the Nurse, who looks back at you, a complex series of emotions running through her face.
"Anon," she says.
"Yeah?"
"Let's have this boxed and go back to my place."
You look back down at your barely touched food.
"Uhm, okay," you say.
Redheart closes the door behind you as you head to her fridge to drop off the leftovers. She moves to a small couch in the living room, and looks up to you.
"Well, then. A movie or something?" you ask. "What do you want to do?"
"I... I think I'd like for you to sit down," she says.
A pang of fear runs through your chest.
"Why?"
She fidgets with her hooves and stares at the tan carpet of her home.
"I think... I think we need to talk," she says.
You take step after heavy step to the couch and sit beside her. Reaching out a hand to her hooves, you grip them tightly. Your blood runs cold. Your mind races, but you cant focus your thought on one particular thought.
A million fears strike you at once.
"I... I don't think I can do this anymore," she says.
An invisible blow to the chest makes you lose your breath.
"I have to tell you something. I... can't lie to you or to myself like this anymore. Over the last few weeks, we've gotten to know each other, and... well. I haven't been fully honest to you."
You sit up straight.
"Well, you can tell me the truth. You know that," you say. "That isn't a reason to throw-"
"No, just," she says, struggling. "Let me finish. This is hard enough as it is."
Redheart pauses, burying her face in her hooves.
"Every pony has their price. I... have a lot of debts, Anon. A lot. Debt collectors come and take my things. It's hard to be a nurse with all of the schooling and loans…"
"Well, that's fine. We can work through them-"
"Then, a pony came to me, and said she could have the Princesses forgive my debt if I helped her," she said.
You fall silent. A burning rises in your chest. What is she saying?
"All I had to do was get in a relationship with the human in town... but, I didn't think I'd actually fall in love with you," she says. "I was supposed to throw tonight's date. Make it a double date. I just broke our contract. I can't do that to you. You're too sweet. Too kind. Too wonderful for some terrible mare like me to do this to you."
You rise from your seat and move across the room.
"That wasn't all. I was supposed to make things official. I was supposed to lure you in. She'd try all sorts of fetishes using me. Cheating. Cuckold. I was supposed to cheat on you. It would have been easy if I didn't put any feelings into it. But... I can't. I can't do that because... I love you, Anon."
You turn back to her, feeling numb to everything you're hearing.
"I just... I just can't keep lying to you. If you want to leave me now... I understand... and I deserve it. I'm... I'm so sorry, Anon."
You open your mouth to speak.
Author's Note
Comment. Choose Anon's Choice.
Forgiveness or Abandon.
You have until 06/27/2016 - at 6PM CST
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
"I just... I just can't keep lying to you. If you want to leave me now... I understand... and I deserve it. I'm... I'm so sorry, Anon."
You open your mouth to speak. Then close it. You move across the room, back to the couch where she sits, refusing to make eye contact with her. She closes her eyes and braces for impact as you loom over her. You kneel down silently, inspecting the features of her face.
Opening your arms, you bring the mare close to your chest, and hold her in your embrace. She gasps, her eyes opening as you look down on her.
"I love you too, Red."
You feel her body begin to tremble in your arms as she buries her face into your chest. The shirt you wear becomes damp as you hold her tightly.
"It's okay... It's okay," you whisper softly in her ear. "It's all over now. I forgive you. Don't worry about it anymore."
"What if something bad happens?" she chokes. "Who knows what could happen next?"
"It doesn't matter what happens next," you say to her. "We'll get through it. Together."
She sniffs, wiping her eyes with a hoof as she looks back up to you, her expression pained, but joyous. The sort of happy pain when something you could have never believed in a thousand years finally came to be.
"I don't deserve somepony like you," she whispers.
"I could say the same thing," you reply, reaching your hand up to wipe a tear from the tip of her nose.
She smiles, her wide blue eyes beaming up at you. You reach a hand up and tuck a lock of her pink hair behind an ear.
"I just- I don't," she says, as dawning comprehension begins to overwhelm her. "What if she gets mad? What if things-"
You place a finger to her lips.
"You talk too much," you say.
Then, you replace the finger on her lips with your mouth. You feel Redheart shudder, then her eyes close. Tingles form on the back of your palms as you hold your hand on the back of her mane. You feel the smooth contours of her lips mix with the cherry taste of her kiss. Your tongue pushes through her lips easily to connect with hers. Her body pulls closer to you as your heartbeat quickens. A light moan emanates from her lips as the kiss becomes faster and more passionate.
Then, she pulls away, gasping, her cheeks flush red. Her eyes ease down, bringing a new sensuality to her expression. She stands up, grabs your hand with a hoof, and silently pulls you upstairs.
Entering a door on the left, you find yourself in a small bedroom and she closes the door behind you. You smile as you turn around and lift the pony into your arms with ease. Her lips lock onto yours as she wraps her hooves around your body, clinging to you. You support her with one arm around her back, and the other holding around her buttocks as you move to the bed. Reaching her destination, you climb on top and let her fall to the bed gracefully. She spreads herself out widely, smiling to you, inviting you.
"Say it again," she says quietly.
"I love you, Red," you say.
"I love you too, Anon," she says gently.
You lean into her, pressing your lips against her mouth once more.
Then, you hear a squeak from the closet.
Raising your head quickly, Redheart stares at the closet with you. A tense moment passes as you move in-between the closet and Redheart.
From between the tiny cracks of the white doors, you see a set of cyan eyes.
Then. Three. Quiet. Knocks.
Your hair stands on end.
Fluttershy leaps out of the closet, standing proudly.
"Is exhibitionism your fetish, Anon?" she asks, smiling widely.
You pause, and the room goes silent. You look back to Redheart, her jaw on the floor. Then, you look back to Fluttershy.
Rising to your feet, you grab the yellow pegasus by the scruff of her back, like a mother cat would a kitten and lift her into the air. She kicks her hooves around and flaps her wings futilely as you move to the bedroom window. She pauses as you open the window and raise her up to eye level.
"I-I'll take that as a no?" she asks innocently.
"Go. Home. Fluttershy."
"W-what about polyamorous relationships?"
You groan and toss the pegasus out the window. Slamming it shut, you turn back to Redheart. She looks on at you in mild shock.
"Did you just throw her out of a second story window?" she asks.
"She's a pegasus," you reply.
Fluttershy lays in a heap on the ground, knocked out, dreaming of Anon's huge hot monkey di-
"I'm sure she'll be fine."
You walk back to the bed and sit beside her.
"That was a bit of a mood-killer, huh?" she asks.
"Yeah," you mutter, trying to hide your massive erection. "It doesn't feel the same."
She moves the covers and fluffs a pillow behind her head as she lays in bed, her eyes fixed on you.
"Well?" she asks. "Coming to bed?"
"Oh? OH!" you say, realizing her invitation.
Tossing your shirt in a corner and kicking off your shoes, you crawl under the covers and pull her close to you.
You're way too big for the bed and there's hardily enough covers, but that isn't what matters. Fluttershy is probably going to restart her guesses again tomorrow, but that isn't what matters. What matters, right now. Is that in this tiny corner of the world, things are fine. Things are happy. And if you had to close this chapter of your story and never return to it, for fear of ruining one fantastic thing that you have going right now. Let the book gather dust, you say.
Because you have Redheart, and she has you. And that is all that matters.
Author's Note
Votes
Forgive: 81
Holy shit you guys. That wasn't even a fucking competition. You guys must really like Redheart.
To commemorate the event, the plot is going to end in the direction of keeping Redheart as your marefriend. You asked for it. But I'll have a Second Person Clopfic with Redheart on my "future stories" list. Or something.
That said. I think it's time we step away from Redheart. What I originally wanted as a great way to do fetishes like "Cuck" or "Cheating" got out of hand pretty quickly. So here's a bit of closure, and an official note of going back to the basics. If she appears any more in this story, it'll be for the need of an emotionally attached partner for a fetish guess. We can't lose sight that this is Fluttershy's story.
Normal, non-continuous, non-Redheart Fluttershorts will continue TOMORROW.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You wake up, as if from some wondrous, impossible dream. Sitting up in bed, you look back to your pillow, wondering if it would be nicer to go back to sleep and enjoy that sweet feeling once more. But the other side of your bed is cold and empty. A dream is just a dream. It's probably better to let the rest of the book remain unread, rather than spoil a great thing.
Rising to your feet, you head to the bathroom and take a shower, a smile on your face and humming a happy tune. After performing your normal, age-old, time-tested ritual of using the bathroom, showering, and THEN shaving, you feel clean and refreshed for anything that could come your way. Throwing on some pants and a shirt, you head downstairs.
'Oatmeal sounds like a fantastic meal for today,' you think to yourself, putting oats and some water in a bowl.
Tossing your bowl of oats into the microwave, because the writer is getting lazy and is putting even MORE electronics in Equestria that probably shouldn't be there, you get your breakfast started and sort through your mail from yesterday. Let's see... junk mail, junk mail, notification of eviction, overdue bills. You toss the mail aside, smiling to yourself and pretending your problems do not exist.
"I wonder what I should do today?" you wonder to yourself.
Stretching your arms out wide, you crack your neck.
"In fact, I wonder what Fluttershy is up to?"
Then, as if on command, there are three knocks on the door. Turning on the spot you head to the door feeling bright eyed and happy. Fluttershy looks up at you, bright eyed and happy, without a single care in the world, her velvet hair shyly cast over one eye. Her body stands proud and tall, her stance resolute, her neck caught in the center of a guillotine and-
Wait fucking what?
"Hi Anon! Is guro and gore your fetish?" she asks happily, holding a pull string.
"Wait. What? WHAT? FLUTTERSHY NO"
She rips the cord. You slam the door. Silence.
You feel bile rise from the center of your stomach and up your throat. You cannot stop it. Falling to your knees, you vomit all over the floor of your home.
Oh god. Oh fucking god. Fluttershy just decapitated herself on your doorstep. Oh god.
...
Except, there wasn't the sound of the blade falling. No whimper of pain.
Where's the earth shattering scream of pain?
Rising to your feet, you turn to the door in apprehension. Nervously, you open the door and peek outside.
Fluttershy's packing away the pieces of the guillotine into a cart she used to bring the contraption here. She turns to you, curious.
"Anon?"
"Y-you're alive?"
She smiles.
"Of course I'm alive, silly! What else would you think?"
You open your mouth then close it. Closing the door to your home, you turn around and move to your kitchen table. You pull out a chair and sit down, placing your head in your hands.
Welp, we're back to this bullshit again. You take a deep breath to steady your mini-heart attack in your chest. It's just another day in Equestria. Another day, just like all the other days. When Fluttershy avidly tries to guess your fetish.
Fucking Fantastic.
Author's Note
We hit two full weeks of daily updates. Neato.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You sit on your couch, perusing one of your favorite books. You've always been a fan of darker literature, and this book was certainly no exception. In fact, in certain parts of Equestria, it's banned. It told the story of a young pony that kidnaps a younger foal and Stockholm Syndromes them into loving their kidnapper. Except, you can't help but smile, because the story did something rather ingenious. It told the story from the kidnapper's perspective, in addition to the kidnapped child. So, overtime, the actions that the kidnapper performs seems rational Or, heck, even justified. Every chapter sent shivers up your spine, and you notice new pieces of foreshadowing with every re-read. Sure, the story was dark and depressing, but you can't help but feel drawn to the characters. It was like a video of a train wreck that you can't help but rewatch, even as people flew off the train, in flames.
A knock at the door grabs your attention. Oh! That must be Fluttershy, here for today's guess. Welp, it's that time to re-integrate yourself into normalcy again. There's no way dark things like in your book could happen in the real world. Placing your bookmark in your novel, you set your book aside and rise to your feet, stretching out wide Taking a few careful strides to your door, you take a deep breath. Then, placing your hand on the door knob, you open the door wide.
Sitting on the door is Fluttershy with- What's that in her mout-
Before you even have the chance to think, you fall backward, squealing in pain. You fall to the fetal position, red-hot screaming pain radiating from your pelvis. Your eyes close, watering as your mouth hangs open, silently screaming in agony. Fluttershy looms over you with a wide smile, holding a hammer in her mouth. She spits it on to the floor and moves her mouth by your ear.
"Is genital abuse your fetish, Anon?" she says.
You attempt to wiggle your body across the floor to escape your assailant, but you barely manage to budge as it feels like your nuts are bleeding internally.
"D-did I do too much?" she asks. "I-i'm sorry, Anon! H-here. Let Mama make Mr. Penis feel all better."
You wave an arm at her in a futile attempt to shoo her away, like an annoying fly. Opening your mouth to curse at her, you find bile rise through your stomach and you vomit on the floor.
That's it. It's official. You are now infertile. Rapisthorse FINALLY fucked you up so much with her fetish guesses that you can't have kids.
Spitting the extra acid out of your mouth, you roll over to her, glaring laser beams of pure hatred at her entire being.
"If you don't leave," you squeak, as if you downed helium. "I will shit red-hot fury down your throat, and shove your eyeballs in your fucking vagina."
She stares at you, taken aback. Then Fluttershy kicks a hoof at the ground and blushes intensely.
"U-um. I-is shitting red-hot fury down my throat and shoving-"
"I WILL FUCKING KILL YOU!" you shout at the horse.
Fluttershy leaps two feet into the air as the stench of the vomit begins to permeate through the house. She flutters out of the doorway as you lay broken and vulnerable on the ground. The door hangs open as tears leak out of your eyes, holding on to your precious, cracked family jewels.
What the actual shit?! Fucking Fluttershy. Who the fuck would even REMOTELY get off to someone like this?!
On second thought, never mind. You don't want to know. All that matters right now is making sure your boys are safe... and maybe a trip to the hospital.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Honestly, life in Equestria isn't terrible. Not all the time anyway. You get your typical three-square meals. You have a nice house, with air conditioning, your own bed, a toilet. Which, in all honesty kinda sounds like a prison, but you get to go outside whenever you want, and you won't be shanked. Except, just like prison, there's one thing you have to constantly worry about. Good ol' Flutterrape.
You sit on your couch, flipping through the channels, sighing to yourself. Honestly, what you probably miss most from Earth? The animals. Not, like, the fish, tigers, bears, or things that can kill you silently in the night without you even knowing. More the household pets like cats and dogs.
They sort of exist here, but there's a huge asterisk around what is technically allowed to talk and what can't in this world. For example: Cows? Talk. Cats? Don't Talk. Donkeys? Talk. Dogs? Fuckin. It depends.
Man's Best Friend alternates from being a completely sentient race that's obsessed with gems or a household pet that is just like a normal dog. Like, what the hell are the implications on that? Did these ponies take these Diamond Dogs into an internment camp or some fucked up shit and then regress them into dogs? Or- knock at the door distracts you from a perfectly logical line of questioning that probably has no business in a world of colorful, happy, pastel horses.
Great, it must be Fluttershy. Time to go through this shit again. You head to the door, pause, take a deep breath, and then open it wide. Fluttershy stands on the other side, her pink mane shyly covering one eye, but she's altered her appearance today.
She wears a set of yellow cat-ears that cap her horse ears and has drawn a set of whiskers on her face. She has a little green collar around her neck that goes into one long red leash that she holds out with a hoof.
"U-uhm. Is pet play your fetish, Anon?" she asks quietly.
You pause staring at her. You fold your arms.
"Fluttershy, this isn't pet play," you correct her.
She tilts her head nervously, quivering in place.
"I-It isn't?" she asks.
"No. Pet play isn't just putting on some kitty ears and saying 'Nya!' or 'Mewing' everywhere. Pet play is a serious state of mind where someone-"
"Somepony..."
"Shut up. They actually begin to have the personality and acting characteristics of the animal they identify as. It's a whole state of mind. Otherwise, it's basically just yiffing."
"I-is Yiffing your fetish?" she asks.
"Fuckin. NO!"
"T-then is actual pet play your fetish?" she asks.
She sits on the ground, dropping the leash. She holds up one of her hooves and begins to lick it like a kitty cat. You cant help but look down with a smile at the little yellow pony, acting all cute in shit.
'Ain't that cute. But it's wrong...' you think to yourself.
Then, she pauses, staring straight forward at your pant leg.
"Uh," you say to her. "You okay Fluttershy?"
Then she makes a low gurgling noise from the center of her throat. Her body shakes and shudders with each gurgle. The motion slowly builds up speed and intensity as she seems to vibrate in place, hunched over.
"Are... are you okay-"
But the words no more than exit your mouth as her mouth opens and a huge bile-y wad of pink/yellow hair, mixed with brown stomach acid projects from her lips onto your pants, floor and welcome mat.
"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!" you scream.
"I-is pet play your-"
"FUCKING NO!"
You slam the door in her face and look down at your ruined pants. Jesus Christ. See, this shit is why you hate cats.
You might as well go adopt a fuckin... weird... dog... sex slave thing. Whatever it is.
...
On second thought, maybe you can live without pets.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Aww yeah. It's that day again. The one day a week you get to say 'Fuck it, I don't even care.' It's Friday. Which means...
Wait, what does that mean in Equestria? Probably nothing. It's not like 9-5 desk jobs are a normal thing in this world. Hell, farmers or ponies who sell goods in the market probably have to work or sell everyday in order to make a living. So, with that in mind, is there the concept of a weekend in Equestria?
Well, there has to be days that the colts and fillies aren't in school, at least. That would make sense. Anyway, that doesn't matter much to you.
Fridays are the day you cook up something special for breakfast. Two pieces of toast, two eggs, and two of those strips of black market bacon you ordered from the griffon kingdom. It tastes great because it's illegal. Well, illegal isn't necessarily accurate, more really... socially unacceptable.
The last thing you need is for ponies to know you eat meat. Especially Fluttershy, who you'd suspect would take it one of two ways. Either she'd be repulsed, and would end the fetish guesses for forever, or there would be a dozen dead animal carcasses on your doorstep. Both... actually have their advantages, when you think about it, but that's not a hump for today. Maybe on a hump day. And now you really don't want Fluttershy to know that Wednesdays are considered hump days.
With a sigh, you pull your breakfast materials out of the fridge and prep your pans for cooking. At the sound of three knocks at the door, you groan and toss everything right back in the fridge. Fluttershy's timing is fucking impeccable as always.
Grabbing your coffee, you mosey your way to the door and throw it open.
"Mornin' Fluttershy, how are you?"
Fluttershy stands on the porch beside a familiar baby dragon.
"And hey to you too, Spike."
"Good Morning, Anon! Today I'm going to-" Fluttershy says.
"Hey, Anon," Spike says quietly.
Silence falls between the three of you. Fluttershy slowly turns to Spike as the baby dragon shivers silently.
"What did I say about making a word?" Fluttershy says.
"S-sorry, Fluttershy. I-it won't happen again," Spike mumbles.
You raise an eyebrow and sip your coffee.
"Harsh," you say.
"As I was saying, Anon," Fluttershy continues, back to her normal cheery self. "I was wondering if dragon abuse is your fetish."
You open your mouth to reply, but then you reconsider for a second. This little dragon has kinda been a little shit to you. He always makes little jeering comments, like a narrator of your failures. The dragon seems to do nothing, and gets away with living with Twilight, who's weird, but that's a different story.
This might be the chance to get a little payback.
"Hell, you never know unless you try," you say, sipping your coffee.
Fluttershy lights up happily, and then turns to Spike.
"A-are you sure, Anon?" Spike says. "I-I mean, w-we don't have to do this."
"Oh! Wait! You're right," you say.
Stepping away from the door, you grab a chair from the kitchen table. Setting it in the doorway, you sit down, sipping your coffee.
"Alright. Now we're ready do to this. Go for it, Fluttershy."
Fluttershy takes a hoof and immediately backhands Spike. The dragon falls to the ground, cracking his head on the doorstep.
"O-ow," he groans as he tries to rise to his feet.
Fluttershy turns to you, smiling wide.
"A-anything?" Fluttershy asks.
"You know, I thought I felt a boner coming on, but it mighta just been gas. Carry on."
Fluttershy kicks Spike back down, and the dragon falls to his back. The pegasus flutters to his side and repeatedly kicks him in the stomach.
"Ow! Ow! OWWW!" the dragon cries. "F-fluttershy! Y-you didn't say-"
"YOU AGREED!" Fluttershy screams. "IT DOES NOT TALK WHILE IT IS BEING BEATEN!"
"T-this isn't worth lunch with Ember!"
You rise to your feet and plant a hard foot in Spike's back. He yelps in pain, and Fluttershy looks up with a smile.
"Nah, nothing yet, keep going."
You sit back down in your chair, sipping your coffee again. Spike writhes on the ground, moaning and groaning in pain. Fluttershy moves down to the baby dragon and lines one hard kick in-between the legs.
Spike cries out, tears falling freely onto the ground. His voice breaks the sound barrier as he whines in pain. He holds his tender jewels with his eyes closed as he curls into the fetal position. Rolling onto the side, you hear him dry heave. You rise from your seat, cheering on.
"OH BOY! HE BOUT TO DO IT!"
Spike's cheeks puff out, then he releases a torrent of green-brown flaming liquid onto the grass on your lawn.
"YEEEAAAHHH!!!!!" you scream out. "This time it wasn't me!"
Fluttershy smiles, content with herself then trots over to you.
"Well, was any of that your fetish?" she asks.
You place a hand to your lip, pretending to consider it.
"Nah, but I think I might know someone who would enjoy it."
The pegasus sighs, frowning.
"Oh well! I'll just have to try something different tomorrow."
Fluttershy walks by the dragon, reaches for her saddlebag and pulls out a bag of bits. Taking two small coins out of her purse, she tosses them on the baby dragon.
"Clean yourself up. You look pathetic," she says.
Then she trots away, leaving the dragon stewing in his own vomit. He looks to you, a pleading look in his eye. With a smile, you close the door and happily stroll to your stove.
"Man, what another wacky day of fetish guesses," you laugh to yourself.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
With a yawn, you slowly open your eyes from a wonderful night's rest. Man, that was a great dream. You were at this wonderful feast, full of meats, puddings, pies, and anything you could possibly imagine.It was the sort of happy, bittersweet dream, because here in Equestria, meat is so hard to come by. Things could certainly be worse, but here you are. Reaching your arms out to stretch your waking muscles, you meet a strange resistance. Your eyes open wide, and you look up to your wrists, which are bound to your bedposts with weird, pink fuzzy handcuffs.
"What?" you say aloud, instantly confused.
You didn't -THINK- you drank last night. And it's not like you have some in-depth, well-characterized, emotion-filled relationship you're in. So, that rationally only means one thing. You gradually move your head down to your chest, where a yellow pegasus, sits happily, perched on top of you.
"Good Morning, Anon!" she says with a smile.
You try to kick your legs, but you meet the same resistence.
"S-sorry about all the binding, it would have been hard to do today's guesses without them.
You glare at the yellow horse.
"Fluttershy, one of these days, I'm just going to fucking go to the police," you say.
Fluttershy tilts her head innocently.
"R-really? I-I thought you already have?"
You grit your teeth. She isn't wrong. The officers pretty much laughed at you.
'A mare that is begging to have sex with you?' one of the officers laughed. 'Boy, we have way bigger problems to deal with than that.'
But, she shouldn't know that.
"Yeah, I doubt Celestia would be happy that an Element of Harmony is acting in such a way."
Celestia's reply letter to you pretty much said the same thing as the cop's reply. She thought to herself for a moment, then shrugged happily.
"I'll take the punches as they come," she says happily. "E-even yours... if that's your-"
"Stop. Shut up," you say, ready for this to be over with. "Just get on with it."
"O-oh," she says. "U-uhm, right. W-well. First of all, is bondage your fetish, Anon?" she asks.
You look up at your matching pair of fuzzy cuffs. You look back down to the mare.
"No," you say, not attempting to mask your irritation.
Fluttershy looks down at your chest, crestfallen.
"O-oh. W-well. Then... since I have you here, d-do you mind if I try another fetish guess?"
You look back up at the cuffs, then back to the pony sitting on your chest.
"I don't think I have a choice," you reply.
"Y-yay!" she says gently, expanding her wings. "T-then, I wanted to see if Forcefeeding is your fetish!"
"Wait, what?" you say as she flutters off your chest and onto the floor.
You move your head to the side and see your entire floor filled with different foods. Eggs, Salads, Sandwiches, Pasta dishes, Toast, Oatmeal. Weeks upon months of food that probably could have feed starving families for weeks.
"No! NOPE! This is not my fetish?" you reply.
Fluttershy looks back to the bed. Prominently rising from your bedcovers, is your prominent betrayer.
Wood. Morning, wood.
"The only way to know is to try it out!" Says Fluttershy happily.
Two hours later, and you have now eaten enough food to make Matt Stonie shy in nervousness. Five boxes of cereal, ten eggs, five boxes of pasta and sauce, a dozen doughnuts, two cups of peanut butter oatmeal, a gallon of milk, three daisy sandwiches and a side salad with ranch. And a fucking diet cola.
Fluttershy holds the last bite of salad on a fork as she stands beside the bed. Your face is a flat green, your stomach bulging as you turn your head.
"No... no more. Please," you beg.
"Awww. Here comes the Choo-Choo train!" she says with a smile.
She makes little chugging noises as the fork pokes your cheek. You turn your head back to her.
"I'll take this last bite if you concede it's not my fetish."
Fluttershy looks back down to the lower half of your covers. Thank the lord, there's no boner. Fluttershy sighs.
"Fine," she says, holding the fork up to you.
You take the bite, and swallow it forcefully. The lettuce forces it's way down your throat and flips a lever in your head.
"Oh god," you mutter under your breath.
"Alright, Anon. You win."
"Fluttershy, undo me right now."
Fluttershy goes down to the end of the bed and begins to undo the ropes that tie you down. You feel the lurching sensation in your stomach.
"Oh god. Now please," you mutter. "Now. Now. Now."
"Where did I put that key?" she wonders to herself, looking around the floor.
"Fluttershy?!"
But it's too late. As Fluttershy grabs the keys to the cuffs on your dresser, you feel the food bubbling in your stomach. With a force that could put Pinkie's Party Cannon to shame, the food decides that it wants out. You turn your head to the side, realizing there's no escaping it now. The food bursts up your stomach, out your throat and all over your bedsheets and pillow, putting the familiar putrid, acid taste in your mouth as you taste a mixture of Marinara Sauce and Peanut Butter/Cinnemon on your lips.
"Why?" you say, throwing up again, pushing it out of your stomach. "For the love of God, Why-"
But your words are cut off by another stream covering your covers. Fluttershy undoes your cuffs and then flutters away, leaving the dishes on the floor and taking her bondage equipment with her. You roll to the non-vomit side of the bed and curl into the fetal position, tears forming in your eyes. If you see another piece of food again, it'll be too soon. Then again, at least you be seeing the corn on the floor, instead of the toilet.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You know what you're getting fucking tired of? Vomit. Like, for real. The last few days or so have been a fucking nightmare for you. Fluttershy's fetish guesses seem to just continually include some sort of vomiting.
But, you know what? Not today. You aren't gonna deal with her sorta bullshit. That why you find yourself in Sugarcube Corner today, sipping coffee, because you can't get a good night's sleep to save your life.
Pinkie Pie strolls past your seat and makes idle conversation in the otherwise empty bakery.
"So, what's up, Anon?" she says. "I didn't get the chance to see you yesterday. Did something stop you from your normal daily visit?" she asks.
You sigh to yourself, stirring coffee.
"Oh, you know. This and that. I was Over Watching somepony's house for the day, and I guess time just got away from me. I should be back on track. I think," you say.
Pinkie Pie stares at you blankly.
"You know, you can just be blunt and tell them that you were playing-"
"Video games don't exist here, Pinkie Pie."
Pinkie furrows her brow at you.
"Uh, Yeah huh they do. The other day I was watching Button-"
"Button doesn't exist, Pinkie Pie."
"Of course he exists," she says, becoming frustrated. "I just saw him yesterday."
You wave a hand in front of the mare's face.
"Button Mash doesn't exist."
Pinkie Pie looks at you blankly.
"Has anypony ever told you that you're off you're rocker, Anon?"
You smile and lean back in your booth.
"Coming from you, Pinkie Pie. That's a compliment."
Pinkie smiles, waving a hoof.
"Sure thing, Anon. Just lemme know if we go back to your marefriend or something. That was a way better arc."
Pinkie Pie trots away as you turn towards her.
"Wait. Marefriend? What? I don't have a-"
"Hi, Anon!" Fluttershy says happily.
Marefriend. Fucking great.
"Hi, Fluttershy, you say, turning to her.
Then, you immediately scoot your chair back. This pony is about to blow! Her entire body seems to be engorged, especially her stomach. Little streams of white begin to run down her nose and from the corners of her eyes.
"I-Is..." she chokes out, clearly trying to keep her muscles tightened. "Cum inflation your fetish?"
"JESUS CHRIST!" you yell, running from your seat to behind the bakery counter. "PINKIE! TAKE COVER!"
Pinkie leaps from behind the kitchen, wearing a WW2-esque Military helmet and war paint.
"DUCK AND COVER," Pinkie yells. "ANON! DETONATE THAT BOMB!"
You peek your head over the counter to Fluttershy, who's staring at the two of you, completely baffled.
"U-uhm..." Fluttershy stutters to yourself as you scream.
"NO! IT'S NOT MY FETISH!"
"O-oh. O-okay," Fluttershy replies, then relaxes.
You duck behind the counter as you hear a quiet ringing. Then, all hell breaks loose. Cum shoots out from almost every free orifice that Fluttershy has and projects itself all over Sugarcube Corner, giving all of the cakes, muffins and cookies and extra dose of stallion icing.
"IT'S GOING EVERYWHERE?!" Pinkie Pie screams.
You hear the ring of the welcome bell. A lime green mare with a rock cutie mark happily hops into the store but is pushed back outside from the torrent of cum. After a few minutes, Fluttershy collapses on the ground, her throat sore and cum vomit spree ended. You rise from your battlements to view the carnage of war.
An old, cranky stallion sits in the corner, still eating his cum covered eggs. Fertilized eggs? Nah, bad joke. Cut that. Cut this paragraph from your memory.
You tiptoe through the solid inch of cum on the ground and make your way to the front door. Pinkie Pie rises to her hooves and looks between you and Fluttershy.
"Oh, come on! Isn't somepony gonna help clean this up?
You look back to the pink mare as you shrug.
"I dunno. You're Pinkie Pie. Can't you do a montage or something and just... immediately clean this up?"
The pink mare goes blank in surprise.
"Huh, why don't I think of things like that more often."
With a shrug, you open the front door and step out of the bakery, leaving your cum covered stalker behind.
Author's Note
I missed a day. I'm trash.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You sit at your desk, the page in front of you, pencil in hand. With a sigh, you begin to trace each word a single letter at a time. Memories of a forgotten day. Dreams of a forgotten world. A world of dreams that you only visit in the evenings, with closed eyes and open mind.
She had long, black hair, a gentle smile, a love of books. The grass was soft, the sun was shining brightly. There was a breeze that made her hair gently sway. She said her eyes were brown, but you could have sworn they had an amber color to them, reminiscent of resin gems that held ancient relics of a past long forgotten. A past that you can't reach, no matter how hard you cling to it. A world you cannot rejoin. You remember the softness of the blankets, the wine, her laugh, her skin. The gentle heat of her breath as you held her in your arms.
You sigh, setting the pencil aside.
What's the point? Earth is miles away. Everything in your dreams is just a dream. She has no name, no voice. Just an imaginary construction, a flowing white dress, and a gentle touch. It was a way your mind tries to cope with the loneliness in Equestria, you are almost sure of it. But, when you wake up, you can't help but wish and stay in that dream, to go back to the place of the mysterious woman.
Instead, this world has nothing to offer you. No future partner. No family. Only a handful of creature comforts, and a few measly bits for your day-to-day troubles.
Is this all there is? Is this all there is to your life? Scooting away from the desk, your dream, you pace the floor in a melancholy.
What is left? What is left for you?
There's a knock at the door. You know who it is instantly. Who else could it be? Fluttershy.
Moving to the door, you place your hand on the doorknob, but stop. You rest your forehead against the door, and close your eyes. A swell of emotion lifts in your chest. You know, today might just be a good day to just... talk to her. Fluttershy probably isn't that bad of a pony once she gets her head out of the gutter. Everypony else seems to like her, at least.
Yeah. That's it. Today, you're gonna talk to her. Maybe make a fresh start.
You open the door wide, smiling to yourself.
"Hey, Fluttershy, What's-"
You freeze, seeing a flying horse ass directly in front of your eyes. Then, without warning, Fluttershy lets loose a large expulsion of gas directly in your face. The putrid smell pushes through your nostrils, down your throat, into your taste buds, into your stomach. You feel the warmth on your skin. You see the puckering of her horse anus. You hear the rip through the air. This mare, in less than 3 seconds, has disgusted you on all five of your senses. You back away, choking, your hands on your throat. The bile rises in your stomach. The pony turns in air, smiling to you.
"Is farting your fetish, Anon?" she says happily.
You fall to your knees, coughing, trying to get air, but you can taste the fecal pungency on your tongue. The smell of rotten eggs pushes through your house as you feel the acid in your stomach push to the surface. The boiling sensation pushes forward and boils over into the real world. Vomit splatters onto the floor. Fluttershy stares at you in silence, as you stare at the soiled floor of your home.
"S-should I take your silence as a yes?" she asks innocently.
"Get the FUCK out!" you scream at her.
"Meep!" she squeeks loudly, then flies off your front porch, leaving you alone.
Tears form in your eyes as you try to rise back to your feet. You look back to the piece of paper sitting on your desk. You look down to the puddle in front of you. You look down within yourself, wondering who you really are.
Wondering if this is really all there is.
With a sigh, you move into your kitchen, taking a roll of paper towels from above the toaster. You pause, staring at the device, then move back to clean up your mess.
Author's Note
... new arc? Maybe.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You lay in bed, clutching your stomach. The churns, pains, and misery forces you to reside here today. Every movement of your muscles spurns more aches and pains. Every time your stomach turns over, you groan from the cramps that stab you in the side. Tears stain your pillow from the pain of today's sickness.
Why? Why does this have to happen to you? Why is any of this happening to you? What's the point of your pain, toiling, sweat and tears? Another day's fetish guess? A meager, pitiable wage? The watching, wandering eyes of a race that doesn't understand you or feel the desire to try? Who are your friends? Who are your -real- friends? Do you have any?
... I didn't think so.
You hear a knock at the door. Your eyes force them shut, as if praying she will go away will take the yellow horse far away from you, where she can't pester you with her nightmarish guesses.
You're just tired of the grossness. You're tired of the pain. You're tired of her constant attempts to wear you down into finally having sex with her. You've ran through all the different possibilities in your head, and there's no winning this.
If you continue to refuse her, she just comes back. If you finally give in to satisfy her, she keep coming back for more. What's the point?
What's the point anymore?
There's a knock at the door, then silence. The silence calls to you, telling you to progress another step forward.
'Keep going, Anon,' it calls to you. 'Do your duty.'
You rise to your feet. Your stomach churns and you immediately regret your decision. One careful step after another, you limp your way to the stairs. Moving down each step one at at time, you feel the pain of the world strike you with every motion.
Just answer the door, and go back to bed. Then you can be sick all day and be miserable.
What a new concept for you.
Reaching the door, you feel your stomach lurch. You can always turn back now. You can always just... stop. This doesn't have to go on, Anon. This is clearly painful for you. Just take this one off. Just let Fluttershy wait. She'll leave eventually, won't she?
...
You sigh. You take a deep breath, and then pull open the door. She stands on the other side of the door smiling up to you.
"Hi, Anon!" she says happily.
The pegasus pauses, looking up at you curiously.
"You don't look so good, Anon. Are you okay?" she asks.
"I just..." you say. "I just..."
Then, you feel another lurch in your stomach. You can't hold it back anymore. The bile rises up your stomach and you feel your body convulse. A steady stream of vomit pushes it's way out of your mouth and Fluttershy's eyes light up.
She opens her mouth, catching the stream as you close your eyes. Your stream ends, as Fluttershy's face turns green. She takes a step closer to you, then regurgitates your vomit back over your feet. You try to step back, trying to evade her digestive attack, but you trip and fall backward, striking your head on the floor. Your vision goes blurry as your hands move to your head and Fluttershy trots inside.
"Yay!" she says. "The pills worked! I-is vomiting your fetish, Anon?"
You groan, shaking your head. Fluttershy looks down at you in total confusion.
"R-really? But there's been so much lately..." she says.
"Fuck off," you moan. "Go away... just leave me alone."
"O-okay, Anon. S-sorry about drugging you to make you sick. I won't do anymore vomiting now. See you tomorrow!" she says happily.
With a flap of her wings, she takes off through the door, leaving you in a crumpled, messy heap.
This is your life. To be vomited on by a stalker horse that provides you the only company you can have in this world. She's the only one who will give you even the time of day. Is this really all there is?
Is this all you have left?
What's the point?
Author's Note
I'm really a pretty happy person.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You sit on your couch, staring at the television screen. It's off, but you hear the voices clearly in your head. The voices are your own, remembering the words you've said. The choices you've made. The regrets you hold. The mistakes you've made.
You can't help but sit in silence, staring off into space, thinking of what you could possibly do. How could you make this world a better place? Everywhere you turn, there's a pony that does something better than you can. You're alright at everything, but great at nothing. You are not special. You are just a human, a visual spectacle to Equestria. A circus freak.
You get the chance to walk through town every day, to dance for the locals. Speak your tongue, say your vulgarities, offend some, make others smile, but most of all, to entertain. Your special talent is to be laughed at.
You close your eyes, loosening the dampness from the edges
So what is your point? What is your existence worth?
There's a knock on the door.
You open your eyes, and mechanically rise to your feet. With an emptiness in your chest, you move to the door and open it. Fluttershy smiles widely up to you, like a ray of bright yellow sunshine, trying to lighten your day.
She holds up a small electronic device in her hooves. She raises the tip of it to her lips, and it lets out a light whooshing sound. Pulling it away, she breathes out a large white puff of smoke into your face. The smell reminds you of putrid air fresheners that try to make bathrooms, long soiled with ages of caked shit and piss, smell half decent. A lot like how you try to make yourself presentable.
She coughs lightly into the air, like a child with a cold, and then takes a deep breath.
"I-is vaping your fetish, Anon?" she asks.
You stare down at her, pondering the creature. How can she do this, day in, day out, and still have such a positive demeanor.
"No," you say flatly. "Go away. Leave me alone. Please."
Fluttershy nods, frowning slightly.
"Alright, Anon. I'm sure I'll think of something," she says.
She leaps off your door step and trots away, leaving you alone once again. Even in rejection, she can find a way to smile. She can find a way to be happy.
You step back inside your home and close the door. You lean back against the door, sliding yourself down to sit on the floor. Pulling your knees in close,you bury your face in your legs.
When was the last time you were happy, Anon? Why can't you feel happy anymore? What's wrong with you? What's wrong that's worth crying about? Nothing.
Then why are tears falling from your eyes?
Do you think that the ponies want to see you like this? Heh. Actually, on second thought. What makes you think ponies want to see you at all?
Fluttershy's the only one to visit you. You haven't gone to work in a week and nopony has even tried to see what's wrong.
You're alone. You're all alone in this big, big world. A tiny, insignificant speck. You pull your legs in tighter, feeling your body shiver. Suddenly you're unsure if you're happy in the silence, or if you'd rather hear the door knock just one more time.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You sit at your kitchen table. The words you scrawl on the paper in front of you feel automatic. Natural.
There's no more tears to be shed. There's no more thoughts to be had. Only action.
There's a knock at the door. You ignore it.
Just finish the note, Anon. Tomorrow it will be done. There will be no more concerns. There will be no more sadness. The door knocks again, begging, pleading to you. Yet it falls on your deaf ears.
You blink, looking up to the window at the bright, sunny day outside. Tilting your head, you look at the sunlight as if it were something new, something you haven't seen before. Rising from your seat, you move to the window, approaching the light. Entering it's rays, you feel it's warmth on your cold skin. As it's light moves over your face, you squint, the sun blinding you with it's aura. Taking a deep breath, you close the curtains and turn away.
There's a knock at the door one more time, as if giving it's ultimatum to you.
You turn to the door, giving up without a fight.
You place a hand on the doorknob and open the door. The yellow pegasus, Fluttershy, stands on the other side, her smile as bright as the sun. You squint reflexively, stepping back into your home, away from her.
She holds up a hoof confidently, as preparing to perform a trick and asking for silence. Reaching into her saddle bag, she pulls out a box of matches and a cigarette. She places the white tube into her mouth and strikes a match. Taking the flame to the tip of the roll, she breathes in, beginning a fresh, red cherry on the end. Fluttershy waves the match, putting out the flame, and tosses it into the bushes. She removes the cigarette from her mouth and holds it out with a hoof.
The pegasus looks back up at you with a smile, blowing out the smoke.
"Is smoking your fetish, Anon?" she asks innocently.
You blink, watching the peculiar mare. Taking two steady steps forward, you take the cigarette from her.
"Don't do that, Fluttershy," you say. "Smoking will kill you."
She looks up at you, curious. Fluttershy opens her mouth, but can't seem to utter a word.
"Is everything alright, Anon?" she asks. "You haven't been seeming yourself lately..."
You put on your mask, your greatest lie, your smile.
"I'm fine, Fluttershy."
She opens her mouth to say something, but you cut her off.
"Smoking isn't my fetish," you say, closing the door in her face.
You turn around, placing the cigarette in your mouth. Breathing deep, you feel the hot, fiery smoke enter you lungs. You hold it for only a second, feeling the nicotine slowly work it's way into your blood stream. Then breathe out the grey, cloudy smoke into your home.
You move back to the table to finish your note in the light of the cigarette's heat and what little light streams in your closed windows.
Dotting the final period, you push the note across the table, and set down your pen. You take one last drag of the cigarette and breathe out. You look down at the still lit end, now burning down to the last inch or so.
A thought crosses your mind. Would you rather feel pain? Or nothing at all.
With a smile, you take the hot, orange-red tip and impress it upon your left wrist. The burning, stinging pain shoots up your arm, and you grit your teeth. You close your eyes, grunting under your breath. But you relish the pain. Savor it.
This is the most you've felt in weeks.
Soon, the pain ends, and only numbness stays. Tossing the cigarette across the floor, you look down at the blood-red burn on your arm. You sigh, looking down at your suicide note.
"Might as well get this over with," you say.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Reincarnation - Death ACTUAL End
"What are we doing here, Fluttershy?" Twilight asks Fluttershy as the two mares strolled down the path to Anon's house.
"You'll see, Twilight," Fluttershy says. "Anon's been in a mood lately, and I think we need to cheer him up. You remember your line, right?"
Twilight looked at her friend in utter bafflement.
"Uh, yeah?" she says. "But I'm not sure how-"
"Trust me," Fluttershy says with a smile. "I've known anon for at least 40 thousand words. I think I know how to handle him."
"Wait, what?"
"Nothing. Just relax. I got this."
The two mares approach Anon's home, and Fluttershy knocks three times. Twilight stands on the porch nervously as she looks back to Fluttershy.
"I dunno, Fluttershy," Twilight says. "Something about this doesn't seem right. I mean, his home is all dark."
"I suppose it is a darker home," Fluttershy says. "For this time of day, anyway."
Fluttershy knocks three more times. Then the two wait for a minute.
"See, he's not home," Twilight says.
"Nope! He is," Fluttershy replies. "I figured this would happen. Come on."
Fluttershy opens the door to Anon's home and walks inside.
"Fluttershy!" Twilight calls after her. "You can't just walk into his home!"
The pegasus looks back at her, dumbfounded.
"Why?" she asks.
"I... uhm. I don't know. What if he's naked?" Twilight asks.
Fluttershy smiles and shakes her head.
"Oh, silly Twilight. Anon's not naked. He's just dead!"
The pegasus trots on into the home, wearing a wide smile as her friend stands outside the door, confused and her eyes wide.
"Wait, what?" the Princess says, galloping in.
The two girls move upstairs and into the bathroom, and stop once they reach the doorway. Anon lies in a crumpled heap on the floor, not moving, not breathing,parts of his body black, singed, and burned. His mucles are tightened nad contorted in an odd fashion, and large black marks line the walls from electrical burns.
"Just what I thought," Fluttershy says. "Alright, Twilight. Looks like we're prepared."
Twilight's mouth hangs open, her body stiff and rigid.
"Anon... Anon is..."
"Dead, yes," Fluttershy says. "Now then are you going to just stand there or are we going to do something?" Fluttershy says.
The Princess looks to Fluttershy oddly.
"How are you just... handling this so well," Twilight says. "Anon is DEAD!"
"Just watch. Now then. Just like we practiced. And a one. And a two. And a one two three four."
"Wake me up!" Twilight sings.
"WAKE ME UP INSIDE!" Fluttershy calls back.
You leap to your feet magically.
"CAN'T WAKE UP!" you scream.
"WAKE ME UP INSIDE!"
"SAAAAVEEE MEEEE!!"
Twilight stares at you, baffled as you stand your own two feet once again, alive and breathing normally.
"Shit, Fluttershy. I haven't heard that song in forever."
"Is reincarnation your fetish, Anon?" Fluttershy asks happily.
You open your mouth to speak, then close it quickly.
"Wait. Wait a sec. NOW I REMEMBER. SHIT!"
Twilight slowly begins to back out.
"I WENT AND PREPARED THIS WHOLE DRAMATIC DEATH SCENE!" you scream.
Fluttershy nods her head at your words. Twilight opens her mouth, then closes it, looking around at the bathroom.
"I'm just gonna... go," Twilight says, before trotting downstairs.
"I CREATED A LOT OF SUSPENSE! I WORKED REALLY HARD AT THIS ONE!" you say.
"Uh-huh," Fluttershy says happily. "And I knew I could only check for this fetish if you died first."
"SO YOU LET ME DIE?!" you ask.
Fluttershy opens her mouth, then thinks for a second.
"Yes," she says proudly.
You open your mouth then look back down at the tub.
"W-we could always try for necrophilia, Anon," she suggests.
Welp, that's that, I guess.
"Nah. I think we're good. Go home. That's a wrap."
"Okay!" Fluttershy says happily. "I'll see you tomorrow, Anon!"
"See ya, Fluttershy," you call as you head out of your home.
You look down at the mess you've made. Man, now this is slightly irritating. It's going to take, like, an hour to clean all this up. Not to mention the electrical bill. You shrug to yourself.
"Welp, that was dumb. I suppose that's just another day in Equestria!" you say to yourself happily.
Author's Note
My god it took too long to work up to this joke. I'm so sorry to anyone who got worried. Once I realized that this arc was becoming too much, I decided "ABORT. ABORT. NOPE. WE CAN'T DO THIS. END IT NOW."
So yeah, back to normal fluttershorts tomorrow.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You hold two pieces of bread, staring at the spot on your counter where your toaster used to be.
"Welp. This sucks."
You move to the oven, take out a pan, and lightly oil the bottom. Putting the toast on the pan, you make your morning coffee. It's kinda good to be back to normal. Things are bland. Things are boring. But things are good.
Holding your mug of fresh, black life juice, you flip your toast once the first side becomes a nice golden brown. Let's see. Maybe we can pull a prank on Fluttershy today? It might be entertaining to see her thrown for a loop. How about the old mirror gag? That one's always a classic. We'll just repeat everything she says and try to mimic her actions.
Taking your toast off of the oven, you hear the knock on the door. For once, you smile at the thought that Fluttershy just arrived. Jogging to the door, you take a deep breath and compose yourself. Alright, we can do this.
You open the door and Fluttershy smiles happily up at you. Throwing on her smile, you beam back at her.
"Hi, Anon!" she says.
"Hi, Anon!" you answer back.
"I was- wait, what?"
"I was- wait, what?"
"Are you copying me?" Fluttershy asks meekly.
"Are you copying me?" you answer back, your words beginning to crack under your own humor.
Fluttershy raises a hoof to her chin. You raise a hand to your chin. Fluttershy then pauses, and you freeze. She waves her hoof and you wave in return. Fluttershy then smiles and stands on two hooves. You pause, unsure what she's getting at.
She moves her right hoof down and begins to viciously rub her pelvis.
"Nope. You had to go and make it weird," you say.
"Wait, no! I can make it unweird!" she says urgently.
You watch her in silence. She looks back up at you, her eyes desperate.
"I-I love you," she says.
"What's your guess?" you ask, officially done with this gag.
"I-is zoophilia your fetish?" she asks.
You open your mouth to speak, then suddenly stop.
"Fluttershy, you're a horse," you say.
She nods her head, then suddenly realizes the implication of her question.
"So, realize that when I say: 'No, I'm not into zoophilia,' that it means I have ZERO interest with sex with a horse."
Fluttershy's eyes widen.
"You take that back!" she says urgently.
"Nope. I have no sexual attraction to ponies. At all."
She opens her mouth and raises a hoof, then closes her mouth and her hoof drops to the ground.
"S-so... never?" Fluttershy says, sadly.
"Never," you answer.
"Nope!" Fluttershy says happily. "I don't believe you. I just think you're in denial."
"Wait, what?"
"Yep! I'll see you tomorrow, Anon!"
"Wait! You think I'm in denial by denying that.... by being in denial?!" you call back. "That doesn't make sense!"
"Since when has anything here ever made sense, Anon?" she calls back. "Bye-Bye!~"
You open your mouth to call back, but then close it, grumbling under your breath. Slamming the door, you go back to your toast and munch on it idly.
"Fucking Fluttershy," you mutter. "I need a new toaster."
Author's Note
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You sit crosslegged in front of your door, waiting patently. Your eyes are locked on the center, and your soul is filled with determination. Today's the day. It's the important day. Package day.
You've been waiting for these pieces for weeks now. Today, your television will be fixed. Now you can finally watch television and movies and masturbate to porn and other... things now.
Reaching for a cup of coffee, you take a deep sip while petting the toaster sitting in your lap. You decided to name it Sparky. It seemed somewhat fitting given current events.
Your ears perk when you hear hoofsteps walking up the road to your home. Setting down your coffee and throwing the toaster over your left shoulder, you rise to your feet. You totally don't squeal like a little girl. You don't do that. That would be weird.
Three little knocks on the door signal the arrival of a guest.
You swing the door open, and a yellow pegasus sits on the other side, smiling up at you.
"WHAT?! WHAT?!" you scream out loud. "NO! NO! BAD! YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE A PACKAGE. NO."
"I-I can be a sexy package if y-you want, Anon..."
"No! I mean. FUCK. YOU DIDN'T BUG ME FOR, LIKE, MONTHS. NOW HERE YOU ARE. ON THE DAY THAT'S THE LEAST CONVENIENT FOR ME."
"Oh!" Fluttershy says, her voice brightening. "That reminds me! I have a fetish guess today!"
You pause, staring at the yellow horse as if she took a shit on your front porch. Not to be confused with the look you gave her on the day she shit on your porch. That was way worse.
"Alright, fucking fine. Get it over with. I have important shit to do today."
"So!" she begins, her tail swaying. "Is crippling disappointment your fetish, Anon?"
You snicker to yourself.
"Looks like someone's read too many Anon stories," you mutter.
"What?" she asks.
"Nothing. Listen. I don't get it. You're going to need to explain. What should I be disappointed about?"
"Uhm..."
"And do it quick too," you say. "I have a package coming today and I'm really really-"
"Your package is inside of me," she says.
You stare at Fluttershy blankly.
"Uhh, Fluttershy. That's gross. Don't be gro-"
"No! Really! I ate your package."
"Oh! okay, well now it all- YOU ATE MY FUCKING PACKAGE?!" you scream.
"Uh-Huh!" she says happily. "There was this weird green horse that said I should eat it with my butt, but I decided to chop it up and put it into a stir fry. I thought it was really-"
"No, hold on a second," you say.
"Oh! Okay," she says happily.
You move away from your door to the nearby closet. You pull out a crossbow and a quiver of bolts. Loading one up, you move back to the door.
"Okay, Ten," you say.
"Uhm, Ten what?" she asks.
"Nine, Eight."
She squeals at the top of her lung. Then with a flap of her wings, she takes to the sky and is out of sight. With a groan, you slam the door and toss the crossbow on the ground.
The bow goes off, shooting a bolt directly through Sparky. On this day, innocent lives were lost.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You're sitting at your kitchen table, reading the Foal Free Press. Honestly? It's pretty fucking terrible. There's misspellings, lack of citations, and straight up articles on why pineapple is better than peaches. There's nothing substantial about this paper. At all.
But that said, what else are you going to fucking read? If you go to the library, then it's just going to put you even more out in the open to Fluttershy's fetish guesses, as well as get you banned from the library. You don't have any restraining orders on you yet, damn it, and you intend to keep it that way.
Then, there's a knock on the door. Your head raises, and the mail is pushed through the slot.
Rising to your feet, you head to the door and pick up the mail.
Let's see... Junk Mail, Junk Mail, Transdimensional letter sent from some nurse, and... what's this? A pink envelope?
Tossing the mail into the trash, you crack open the envelope and immediately catch a whiff of some gentle floral scent. You sniff the envelope, and sure enough, it seems to be sprayed with some form of perfume.
Reaching inside, you pull out three photographs. Those sort of self-developing polaroid ones.
The first one shows Fluttershy lightly biting on some sort of gaming controller, her eyes are half lidded and she seems to be stretching in some weird position. She had a neon-green streak in her hair and is wearing a pair of horn-rimmed glasses. Without lenses.
You groan and throw it behind you. Looking at the next, you see the controller cord wrapped around her hind legs, with the controller hiding her pony ponut. She looks back at the camera, looking shy and nervous.
Closing your eyes, you shudder. Throwing that photo behind you, you peek at the last photo.
"Is that controller up her pooper? Fucking Christ..."
Flipping the photo over, in red crayon, you find written 'Are Gamer Girls your Fetish?'
Tossing the photo in the trash, you shake your head and move back to the paper.
Fucking Christ, man. This shit is changing you. For the first time in your life, you said no to free porn.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You sit on your couch at home, staring into your hands. Holy shit, man. You have hands. Like, that's fuckin... weird. dude.
I mean, have you ever really looked at hands? Have you tried wiggling your fingers just to watch the way your bones adjust under the skin? It's fucking weird. Creepy even. If we saw random-ass bones begin moving under a weird piece of flesh, we'd nope the fuck right out. But hands are okay. They get a pass.
On top of that. Horses LIKE these things. I mean, you get to scratch them behind the ears, pet them just right. All sortsa shit.
You sit, staring at your hands in a sort of wonder.
"I must really be getting bored. I just fucking thought intensely about hands," you say to yourself.
Then, there's a knock on your door, and you groan to yourself. On second thought, let's do a whole mess of thinking about our hands. Anything if it gets us away from another fetish guess.
Fluttershy is getting on your fucking nerves now. Do you have any idea how long you've put up with her shit at this point? If it was put into a book, it would be almost 50 thousand words, or something.
But, you know that she won't go away unless you answer the door. Otherwise, she'll assume you're outside and break in to smell your boxers.
"Fuckin hell," you mutter to yourself.
Rising from your seat, you move to the door. Turning the knob, the door swings open and the yellow little pegasus stands outside as happy as can be.
"Hi, Anon!" she says happily. "How are you today?"
"Fine, I guess," you answer in a resigned tone.
"Can I come in? I brought tea and cookies. They aren't even drugged this time! Honest!"
Looking to Fluttershy, you notice she's carrying a bag with a small thermos and some wrapped napkins that look similar to cookies. You place a hand on your forehead, realizing you'd garner a worse reputation than you already have if you refuse a guest bringing gifts.
"Yeah, sure."
Fluttershy trots inside, humming to herself all the while. You move to a kitchen cupboard to grab a few glasses for the tea. Turning around, you watch as Fluttershy steps on your rug towards the couch. Except the rug slips under her hooves.
She turns, losing her balance, turning to see you. Her ice blue eyes are filled with panic. She falls slowly. You step forward. Her temple meets the corner of an end table. Two gasps of air. She falls limply to the ground. Tea begins to leak from her saddlebag. You rush forward, stepping on cookies that bury themselves deep into your hardwood floor.
You pick her up into your arms and kick the door to your home open, darting for the hospital.
You sit in a hospital room, staring into your hands. You place them over your eyes, listening to the gentle beep of the heart monitor. The muscles in your arm ache. The lids of your eyes feel like sandbags, begging you to get some rest. But it's 4AM, and she hasn't woken up.
The first 24 hours are the most important. That's when you know if, well. They'll come out of it. Or not.
You take a deep breath and lean back, staring at the sterile white ceiling. The rest of her friends left at around midnight, and said they would be back in the morning. They all told you not to blame yourself, but you can't help but feel like... somehow, this was all your fault. You could have prevented this. Hell, at some points, you wanted this.
But... not like this.
This... wasn't what you wanted.
You rise to your feet and move to her bedside again. A bandage is wrapped around her head, sticking to her gorgeous pink hair. Her eyes are closed and she just seems... peaceful now. Like a sleeping angel.
Placing a hand on her hoof, you open your mouth, unsure that you can say a single thing you haven't already sworn in your head. That you haven't already whispered to her. That would make any sort of difference at all.
You can't help but listen to the voice in the back of your head.
You killed her. You're the cause of all of this. It's all your fault.
With one motion, you move to your knees, unsure of what to do, and clasp your hands together. You're in a different world, and you've never believed before... but at this point, what could be the hurt in trying.
"If anyone is out there," you whisper to yourself. "God, Allah, Spaghetti Monster, anyone. Please... I'll do anything. Just fix this."
You close your eyes, your ears at full attention.
But nobody came. Nobody spoke. There was no sign.
You open your eyes and look to Fluttershy.
"Well girl, I tried," you say. "I'm... so sorry."
Then, a quick breath of air. You freeze in place, staring down at Fluttershy. Her features contort, and then relax. Her body shivers, then her eyes ease open.
She looks up to you, a fire pain in her eyes, overwhelmed by a flood of joy upon seeing your face.
"Anon?" she says weakly.
"Yeah, I'm here," you say, kneeling back down to get on eye level with here.
"What happened?"
You bite your lip, pondering how to answer her question.
"There was an accident. However, you're okay now. Everything is going to be okay."
She smiles gently. That simple smile she gives you whenever you actually like a gift she's given you. She's happy just knowing she's made a difference in your life. No. Even a difference in your day.
"Then... can I ask you something?" she says.
"Of course, Fluttershy," you say. "Anything."
"Are abrupt changes in tone your fetish?" she asks.
You pause, staring at her. A smile creeps on your face. Standing up, you look down at her. Fluttershy's proud expression fades away, turning to fear.
"A-anon?"
"I really hate you sometimes, you know that?" you say.
Fluttershy gulps as you stare her down, your hands balled into fists.
"N-no?" Fluttershy replies.
You growl under your breath, but then, pause.
"I suppose it can't be helped," you say to yourself unclenching your fists. "Same time tomorrow?"
"Mhm!"
"Sounds good, see ya, Fluttershy," you say, walking out of the hospital room.
Closing the door behind you, you walk up to the closest nurse and ask if they have any sort of tranquilizers that could put you out before you kill someone.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
A clap of thunder makes you leap from your bed. Turning your head to the window, you snicker to yourself.
"Right, the scheduled thunderstorm."
You never quite have gotten used to that weather is made, not predicted in Equestria. And 90% of the time, the ponies have extremely sunny weather, with one or two big thunderstorms a month in order to water the grass, flowers, and crops. It's kinda like a crazy efficient sprinkler system. But with 100% more lightning. In fact, on that note. Has anyone in this world died by lightning stri-
No. You can't think that way, Anon. If you make today's fetish guess about being struck by lightning, you will actually die. That's a terrible way to end your story.
Throwing on a robe, because you aren't ready to render the boys slaves to binding chains of clothing just yet, you head downstairs and start a pot of coffee for yourself. You take a moment to just stare out the window and watch the rain fall gently. Honestly? This might be a good day to read a book. Like, I Have No Muzzle, But I Must Scream . Something fitting the dark atmosphere. Something spooky.
Just then, there's a knock on the door. You turn in place, staring at it incredulously. Jesus, Fluttershy doesn't give up. Rain or shine, her eternal pursuit for your fetish clearly never rests.
You head to the door with a sigh. You might as well let her head home and get out of the rain. She'll catch a cold if she stays out too long. Then she'll ask if colds are your fetish and it'll be a bullshit loop of days that are all around being sick. Ugh. That sounds terrible .
The door creaks on it's hinges as you open it. Fluttershy stands on the other side, her hair dripping water down onto your welcome mat. Her eyes are focused on the ground, unmoving.
"Hey, Fluttershy. What's up?" you say.
She remains silent and takes three careful steps inside out of the rain.
"Uh. No! No. Bad Pony. Rape horses stay outside. Outside. "
Searching for anything. You find a nearby newspaper and roll it up into a tube. You extend your hand to lightly bop her head.
Lightning flashes.
Half of the newspaper tube falls to the the ground slowly as Fluttershy looks up to you with a crooked smile. A large butcher knife is held in her right hoof.
"I know that yandere mares are your fetish, Anon," she says.
The thunder rolls in the distance from the lightning.
"And now, we'll be together. Forever. This is how it all ends," she continues.
You take three steps back from Fluttershy, tossing your shredded newspaper to the table.
"Okay. Now hold on, Fluttershy," you say slowly. "Let's talk this out. First of all, no. Yandere isn't my fetish. Second, we can't be together if I'm dead."
Fluttershy snickers as she gently closes the front door and locks it.
"But now I won't have to share you. You'll be all mine," she smiles to herself. "You won't be tempted by all of those other mares who only want you for sex. You try to be good for me. And I'm so proud of you. But now you won't have to worry about them taking you against your will anymore. I know what's best for you."
Her hooves glide silently across the floor as you hit the stairs.
"Dying isn't good for me!"
Fluttershy smiles, a fire hiding behind her eyes.
"You'll be so peaceful, Anon. And I'll take very, very good care of you."
Then, she stares at you. Her eyes grow wide, and you feel your feet rooted to the ground which you stand. You try to move your limbs, but you feel like strings hold you in place. Fluttershy edges closer to you, humming gently to herself as she holds her stare on you.
"I just love you so much, Anon... I can't let you go and make a mistake you'll regret for the rest of your life," she says.
"I... need to be alive for that to happen," you mutter, struggling against the invisible bonds that hold you.
Fluttershy tilts her head and giggles to herself.
"Why, Anon? Did I ever say I was going to kill you?" she asks. "Why, I just want..."
She stops, looking down to your pants.
"Huh, this really isn't doing anything for Mr. Penis now is it?"
Your gut drops.
"Wait, what?" you say out loud.
"Well, that's that. I suppose Yandere mares really aren't your fetish, huh?"
She turns on you, and you can feel yourself move once more.
"Sorry about all that, Anon. I hope you have a good day! No hard feelings. See you tomorrow!~" she says as she moves to the door, unlocks it, and skips outside.
You collapse to the ground and wrap your arms around yourself.
What was that? What was that... stare? She had you. She owned you. She could have taken absolutely anything she ever wanted directly from you and you would have had zero say. She could have just murdered you in cold blood, and you would have been powerless. She could have used you for her own demented sexual desires, and you couldn't fight her off.
You close your eyes and take a moment to lay down on the floor.
'How did it take her this long to use that power on me?' you wonder to yourself. 'I've seen her use it on animals... but I didn't think... I mean. I guess I'm an animal in this world.'
You look to the door fearfully.
"How long has she known that would work on me?"
Author's Note
The stare finally arrives...
Hmmm....
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You wake up in a way you would have never believed. You were having the most magnificent dream that you needed to see for yourself. But, the ending shocked you, forcing your eyes open.
"If the rest of the story is written this way, I think I might just kill myself," Anon says.
'Fine,' the writer mentally tells Anon, because he's a mental construct and not an actual being.
You rise out of bed and make your way to the bathroom to perform your Triple-S. Wait a second, you don't know what a Triple-S is? Well here's the top three things you need to know about the Triple S.
First, you shit. Shitting is that wonderful feeling when you excrement your previous day's unused digestive byproduct. It accumulates quite a lot as you sleep, since your body take's it's sweet time rejuvinating itself for the coming day. By removing the bad, we prepare ourselves for a good day.
Second, and this one will shock you. You shower. Yes, even a disgusting, filthy mongrel like YOU can shower in five easy steps. First, you turn on the water. Second, you get in the fucking water. Third, you wash yourself with some mother fucking soap. Fourth, you shampoo your hair you disgusting piece of filth. Fifth, you stare idly into the tile wall, wondering what your doing with your life as the filth runs off your body and down the drain, taking away with it your self-worth and dignity as you berate yourself. Great news! You're fucking clean now! Dry yourself off with a towel and you have successfully showered.
Thirdly, we shave. Yes, we take a razor sharp... uh. Razor. And get that hair off our face. And we know the process won't be complete unless we cut ourselves at least three times. You have now successfully performed your Triple-S.
After stepping away from a verb-tense nightmare that the writer doesn't want to even take a look at, you move downstairs, ready to make a cup of coffee that would make a caffiene addict swoon. You start the coffee pot, when lo and behold, there's a mysterious knock on the door.
You move sensually to the door in a way that would shock your mother and open the door.
"Hi, Anon!" says the familiar yellow pegasus who would make your heart melt, if she didn't do something that would disgust you. "I have a new guess for today!"
"Hey."
Then, she says something that blows your mind. Keep reading to find out! (In the next line that is. I mean, I can't really make you click in the story. Uhh. Commenting F = 1 click.)
"I have a new fetish guess!" she says.
"What is it?"
"Is sensationalized attention whoring your fetish?" Fluttershy asks.
"Psh," you say. "Nah. It's not about grabbing attention. It's about saying and doing things that's meaningful and would make an impact on the world. Nice try, Fluttershy."
Fluttershy kicks the ground in such an adorable way that it would make an old man have a heart-attack, then flutters away.
You close the door, smiling to yourself that you've done a good thing.
Author's Note
Flutterpriest looks over his most recent stories, laughing to himself that it's a big joke, with tears running down his face.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You sit in a chair in your living room, reading by candlelight. Taking your cup of tea, you sip it's warm, delicate taste and happily sigh to yourself.
It's been a calm day. An easy day. You were able to wake up whenever you wanted. You made a sweet breakfast. You cooked an overcomplicated dinner that used a million dishes, but made you cum at the first bite, so it's all good. You spent time cleaning up around the house, and you feel genuinely satisfied at your full and productive day.
You check the clock and notice it's almost 11PM, which is about when you head to bed in Equestria. You can't help but throw in your bookmark and feel a little confused. Where's Fluttershy? Where's her guess for today?
Either way, it's really not that big of a deal. Having a nice quiet day to recoup yourself was exactly what the doctor ordered. Now you're fresh and prepared for whatever lies tomorrow.
Rising from your seat, there's three gentle knocks on the door. Speak of the devil, and she shall appear. Except, you didn't say anything. So, Fluttershy confirmed for mind-reader.
You head to the door and open it up. Fluttershy stands outside, her eyes heavy, but her face bright and cheery none the less.
"Good Evening Anon," she says sleepily. "I-I hope I didn't wake you."
"Not at all," you answer. "I was just heading to bed. What's up?"
"O-oh! Well, I wanted to know if being forgotten was your fetish?"
You stare at her.
"Uh, this doesn't work as a guess, Fluttershy."
She tilts her head.
"Why? I didn't come here all day. I abandoned the guesses for a day. I wanted to make you think I forgot to guess."
You sigh and place a hand to your face.
"Except, you didn't forget. You planned to forget, but you instead remembered what you were trying to forget and planned to remember what you were forgetting. See?"
Fluttershy opens her mouth.
"Uhm, no?" she says.
"It's simple. Listen. So you wanted to forget to ask, but instead you planned to pretend to forget for this guess. So, you spent all day remembering what you were supposed to forget, which is the opposite of forgetting. In reality, if you were going to forget what you needed to remember, you wouldn't have remembered at all, but rather forgot it. Planning to forget is way different than forgetting to plan, so now you can keep that in mind and remember how to forget properly. Understand?"
Fluttershy stares at you with open eyes.
"I-I forgot what we were talking about."
"Exactly."
Fluttershy opens her mouth slowly, then shakes her head.
"I-I'm going to go home, Anon," she says.
"Alright, see ya tomorrow?"
"Of course.
And with that, Fluttershy leaps into the air and flies home. You close the door behind her and head upstairs to get a good night's sleep. What a pleasant day!
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Aw shit, it's another day in Equestria. Oh. Wait. ShitFuckShit. You're late for work. It's a race for time. Jumping out of bed, you quickly slam the alarm clock so it shuts the fuck up. You whiz past your Triple S and sprint downstairs while throwing on your shirt. No time for breakfast as you open the front door.
Stepping forward, Yellowshy stands directly in front of you, smiling brightly.
"Are minor inconveniences that add up to hateful situations your fetish, Anon?"
"Fuckin, get out of my way, Fluttershy," you say, trying to step past her.
Except, she steps directly in your path. Then, as you step to the other side, she moves in front of you.
"Fuckin, Stop. This isn't Funny."
You pick her up in the air, flailing her four hooves about. Gripping her midsection like a football, you throw with all your might and launch her into the air.
Taking off at a run, you head for the Apple's farm, knowing that Applejack will kick your ass again today for being late. That is, until you a hard collision to the back of your head. You tumble forward, feeling four hooves grip around your skull.
"I-I'm not giving up that easy, Anon!"
"FUCKING. GET THE FUCK OFF!"
You pull against Fluttershy to remove her from your head, and she digs her hooves into your eyes.
"STOOOOPPP!!!!"
"LOOOVEEE MEEEE!!!" she screams.
"NEEEVVEERRRR!"
Whipping your head back, you smash the little pony into the ground. She lets go, coughing, and you scramble to your feet again. Sprinting with all your might, you can see the apple orchard in the distance. Finally! You can get to work! Then this meaningless plot will be over!
You leap over the gate and dart towards the first cart you see, and sure enough, Applejack is eyeing her next tree to harvest. With a mighty kick, she bucks, and apples fall into the cart.
"I'm here!" you call out.
"About darn time!" she says back. "Get over here!"
Then you feel a tug on your ankles. Losing your balance, you give the ground the best high five possible with your body.
"Dang it, Anon! What have I told you about bringing your marefriend to work?!" AJ says.
"Fuckin. Fluttershy! Get off!"
You kick at the yellow pegasus, but she resists with all of her might.
"You know what, Anon? I think I've had it with you. You curse around Applebloom, you get distracted on the job by your marefriend, and now you're promotin domestic abuse. Well I can't have it on this farm."
Your gaze moves to Applejack, shocked at what you're hearing.
"Wait! No! This isn't what it looks like!"
"Sorry, Anon. I have to run a family business. You're fired."
Applejack walks away, carrying her cart of apples with her. You glare down at Fluttershy with an intense hatred. She blushes and looks away from you.
"S-so. I-I guess that wasn't your fetish, huh?"
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You sit at home, counting your bits out on your kitchen table. 70. 70 gold pieces for food, shelter, and necessities until you find a new job.
Picking up each one, you mentally plan to yourself what each one could be used for. This one's for bread. This one is for milk. Each of these pay off the water bill.
As each of them make a clink next to it's brothers and sisters in a little coin pouch. You feel the urgency of not having a job begin to claw at your back. You may have a buffer, you may have a financial pillow in case something goes wrong, but you can't help but feel like you're running out of time to find a living to meet your ends.
Heading upstairs, you place the sack under your pillow, then smooth out the edges of it's hiding place. Finding a job shouldn't be too difficult. At least, in a world where ponies each have a very special talent or job that they're supposed to do, there's gotta be one hole for you to fill, right?
You slunk downstairs, which is sort of hybrid between sulking and slumping, but in a walking motion. Then, three gentle knocks on the door. You don't even feel irritated, knowing that Fluttershy is here for her new fetish guess.
Heading to the door, you throw it open. Sure enough, that bright, happy ball of yellow sunshine stands on the other side, grinning up at you.
"Hi Anon!" she says brightly. "Is sixty-nining your fetish?"
You stare down at her incredulously.
"Uh, what?"
"Uhm. You know. Uhm. Double Oral? Where both partners give oral to each other at the same time, so their heads are matched up-"
"No, I understood, Fluttershy. I'm just a bit surprised at you."
Fluttershy's eyes widen, and her ears turn down.
"W-was it something I said?"
"No, rather it's something you didn't say," you explain.
"O-oh. I'm sorry."
"Do you know why you're sorry?" you ask.
"Uhm. No. I'm sorry."
"Then why are you already sorry?"
"Sorry, I didn't know..."
"Stop. Stop being sorry for a thing you don't know what to be sorry for."
Fluttershy's eyes move to the ground as you stand in front of her, arms folded.
"Sorry..."
You groan under your breath and pull a long sheet of parchment from your pants. I don't mean your pocket. I mean, you reached down, then pulled a piece of paper from where your goods are, then showed it in front of Fluttershy.
"I've kept careful track over a LONG time. And I've cataloged EVERY fetish guess you ever asked me. And you know what? You didn't ask this on the sixty-ninth guess. This is the seventy-first! How dare you not cater to a childish joke! I expected better of you."
Fluttershy peers up at you behind her long pink hair, a single tear runs down her cheek as she fiddles with her hooves.
"I-I'm sorry. I-I'll try to do better from now on!" she begs.
"I sure hope so!"
You slam the door in her face, feeling slightly more confident in yourself. Then, a gentle knock at the door again. Opening back up, Fluttershy still sits there.
"Can I have that paper?" she asks.
"Uh. Yeah, why?"
"Uhm. For science."
With a shrug, you hand to her the parchment in your hands. She brings the paper close to her eyes and gives it a big sniff. You snatch it from her hooves.
"No. Bad horse."
Three stallions begin to sing a silly song in the distance as you slam the door shut, to blot out the thinly-veiled reference. Heading back to your kitchen table, you pull out today's newspaper and a highlighter, hoping to find a new job for yourself.
Author's Note
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You push through the door, and are greeted kindly by the piercing screams of children. Your eyes move from the checkerboard tile floor to the cash registers, to the menu, to the acne-faced teens behind the counter.
"Well, it's like Mom said. Don't turn down a job you aren't offered."
You step through, glancing at the mother sadly staring into her dry salad while her foal screams and throws food on the floor. You tear your gaze to somewhere else, anywhere else. Your eyes move to the soda machine, where two kids are pushing the levers on the soda dispensers to watch the way the pop flows. You bite your lip and move to the counter.
"Welcome to the Hayburger," the teen says flatly. "Can I take your order?"
"Actually, uh. I'm here about the assistant manager position?" you say, peering into the back of the kitchen, where another pony is mopping the floors with a bucket of black, bubbly water.
"O-oh! Okay. Let me get the Manager. Stay right here," he says. He turns on a dime and shuffles back to the kitchen.
You place a hand over your eyes and take a deep breath.
"Is this the type of place I really want to work?" you ask yourself. "I mean, it wouldn't hurt as a way to get between jobs. Just to make some cash between positions."
You turn to see a greying old mare in the corner, munching on a hayburger. She pauses, looking down at it carefully. She reaches into her mouth and, with a quick jerk, pulls out her false teeth. Then, she continues to eat.
Turning away, you do your best to steel your stomach. A tall mare with jet-black hair moves from behind the counter, returning with the teenager from earlier.
"Are you here about the position?" she asks coolly.
"Yeah," you say happily. "My name's Anonymous, I'm-"
"The only human in Equestria. It's a bit hard to miss you," she says with a smile. "Let's take a moment to sit down and we can chat."
She moves from behind the counter, taking a moment to adjust the red bow-tie that matched every other employee along with their 6 other pieces of 'unique flair.' You move beside her, and glance over a rather over-sized pony who's unwrapping her third double hay-burger.
Where the fuck does it all go? How can you go so long without portion control or thinking that something's- Actually, never mind. It's better to just look away and let them make their own decisions.
"Right here should be fine," the manager says, approaching a table and taking a seat.
You sit down across from her as she places a few forms on the table. Resting your hands on the surface, you feel your hands stick to the table. Peeling them off, you choose to allow your hands to rest in your lap.
"So, what makes you want to work for Hayburger?" she asks.
Absolutely fucking nothing.
"I'm between jobs at the moment," you say. "My previous labor position downsized to a more family oriented operation, so now I'm looking for somewhere to build sell-able skills, like customer service, management opportunities, and critical thinking."
The mare smiles and makes a check on the papers in front of her.
"I see, well I'm sure the Hayburger can provide that. Have you heard of our health insurance?"
"You have health insurance?" you ask.
"No, we used to. We just axed it. Which is why I asked. Now then,"
"Annnooonnnn!!!" calls a familiar feminine tone.
You lose your breath for a moment. Oh my god. No. Not Fluttershy. Keeping your gazed focused on the manager in front of you, she turns to look in the direction of the door.
"Ignore her," you say. "You were saying?"
"No, wait you-"
"Hi, Anon!" Fluttershy says, trotting towards you. "I have a new guess for today!"
You stare directly forward, choosing not to acknowledge her presence. The manager stares as Fluttershy trots up to you and stands beside you.
"Are onesies your fetish, Anon?" she asks.
You bite your lip. The manager stares at you with a focused glare.
"I'm sorry Anonymous. This is a family establishment. We have standards here. We can't be associated with your... well. Exhibitionism."
The mare rises from her seat and leaves as you stare directly forward, still not acknowledging her presence.
"Oh. Um. Did I interrupt something?" Fluttershy asks.
You slowly turn your head, allowing the yellow pegasus to come into view. She wears a long, pink pajama outfit that covers everything but her face. She has two short stubby ears and a short curly tail.
"You fucking pig," you growl.
"U-uhm. My onesie is a piggy, but I'm not a pig. I'm a pony."
"Get the fuck out."
She turns and trots away, leaving you alone. Your eyes move to the foal. Screaming. Yelling. Throwing french fries. It's face red. It's throat sore. The mother takes another bite of her salad. Silent.
Author's Note
Random Vannamelon reference.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The screeching alarm clock sings the song of its people, and you weakly open your eyes. You turn to the thorn in your side and hit the snooze button. Rolling back over, you pull the covers over your head and close your eyes.
It's not like you have a job to go to. You only have 20 bits left to your name. You have two chores to do today. Go find a job and go to the pawnshop.
You think to the pile by your door. A box filled with books, a few old keepsakes from when you first arrived in Equestria, a painting, and holiday decorations. You have no idea how much money they'll fetch you, but they're things you can live without. You've always wanted to be less materialistic anyway, right?
Then, you hear the knocks on the door. They may be quiet. They may be down stairs. Nevertheless, you hear them. You hear them every day. You know who it is. You know what she wants.
You lay in bed, hoping she'll go away. However, she knocks again. Then again. Again.
You pull the covers off your head and stare at the ceiling.
"I guess it's that time."
Rising from your bed, you throw on a robe and head downstairs. Your eyes alternate from the door, to the box, and then back to the door. You pull it open, and Fluttershy stands on the other side.
"Good Morning, Anon!" she says bright and cheerfully. "Having a bit of a late start?"
"You could say that," you reply, leaning against the doorframe.
"How's the job search going?" she asks. "I-I'm really sorry about everything that's been happening lately. It's not intentional, I swear."
You open your mouth to say something, but you pause. Honestly, the thought never occured to you before. Was all of this a plan by Fluttershy? Has she been purposefully breaking down your career options as a way to corner you?
Is this a way of building into is homelessness your fetish?
"It's not intentional, huh?" you ask.
"It's not. I swear."
"Homelessness isn't my fetish, Fluttershy."
Fluttershy opens her mouth, and then takes a step back. An expression of pain flashes across her face. She looks to the ground, silent.
"You... really think I'd do that to you. Don't you?" she asks.
You open your mouth to speak, and then place a hand over your forehead.
"I dunno. Just. I've been in a bad place. I'm sorry. I had to tell you that. For me," you respond.
The air grows still with silence between the two of you.
"It's fine, Anon. I understand," she says quietly.
"Listen. I think we got off on the wrong track this morning. Do you have a fetish guess?"
Fluttershy lightly kicks the ground.
"Maybe," she says.
"Come ooon. Do you have a fetish guess?"
"Y-yeah," she says. "But you promise not to be mad?"
You do your best to put on a smile and kneel down to be on eye level.
"I promise to be furious."
She looks up at you hopefully.
"You mean it?" she asks.
"I really mean it."
She smiles a little and stands up straight.
"Well. I-I was wondering if belly rubs were your fetish?"
You remain silent, staring at the horse in front of you. After a moment, she raises a hoof, places it on your belly, and rubs in a clock-wise circle.
"Nonny-nonny-nooonnnyy" she gently sings.
"Fluttershy?" you say to her.
"Yes, Anon?"
"This is fucking weird."
"N-no it's not. Lots of ponies like their bellies being rubbed," she says.
"Go home, or I will end you."
She stands in place and pauses. Then she rubs in a counter-clockwise direction.
"What about this way?"
"That doesn't change anything!" you say.
"A-are you sure?"
"YES!"
"W-well think of it as un-rubbing you," she says.
"YOU CAN'T UNRUB ME! NOBODY CAN UNRUB ME!"
You pick up Fluttershy and toss her into the air. Her wings spread and she wears a wide smile.
"D-did that help?" she asks.
You slam the door behind you as you go back inside.
"Fuck. Well, since I'm up, might as well shower and go to the pawn shop."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
This chapter of Flutterrape is brought to you by overly-dramatic music.
Surprise - OLP End
The alarm blares. You slam your hand down, silencing it. Your eyes open wide.
"It's time."
Now's the time to get this all sorted out. Fluttershy left you a ton of bits yesterday. Today, you intend on giving them back. There is no way in hell you are going to find yourself indebted to your stalker. You rise to your feet and quickly push through your triple-S. After throwing on your clothes, you take the yellow bag of bits and place it on the kitchen table.
You look to the front door, ready to begin the ritual.
"It's time to summon Fluttershy."
You move to the coffee pot, and turn it on to brew your morning coffee.
"Drink of the morning, to wake the maker..." you murmur to yourself.
Moving to the kitchen pantry, you remove a loaf of bread.
"Breakfast, the most interrupted meal of the day," you continue, in a sort of demonic chant.
You remove two pieces of bread from the loaf and place them inside the toaster. With the glance at the door, you place your hand on the toaster's lever. A bead of sweat runs down your brow. You steady your hand and take a deep breath.
"Let's do this."
You push down the toast. And as if the toaster had supreme power over the world around you, three knocks on the door grab your attention. You take a deep breath and crack your neck. Taking the bag of bits off the table, you move to the front door. Placing your hand on the knob, you ready yourself for impact.
You turn the knob and rip the door open.
"Listen Fluttershy, I don't-"
However, you freeze. You look towards the pony sitting on your front porch, and find not the yellow, pink-maned horse that you're familiar with. Instead, a tan mare stands tall and proud on your porch step, peering up at you over her half-moon glasses. Her gray hair is neatly kept, and you feel a feeling of dread flow through your veins.
"Oh! U-uh. Mayor Mare. What a pleasant surprise!" you start.
"Good Morning, Anonymous. How are you this morning?"
You open your mouth, but can't collect your thoughts fast enough to form a coherent sentence. The Mayor sees your delay and opts to fill the silence for you.
"Listen, Anonymous. I'm a busy mare. So, I might as well cut to the chase. We need to discuss the topic of your taxes to Ponyville and your house payment," she says.
"Mayor. Please," you begin to say, but she cuts you off.
"These are very serious matters, Anonymous. And I believe they must be dealt with swiftly."
"I have the money, Mayor. I just need a little time to get a job and to get back on my feet. I'll get it to you, I swear."
"Oh, I know you will, Anonymous," she says with a sly smile. "That's why I expect you first thing tomorrow morning. You're hired."
"I. Wait, what?" you say.
"Didn't you send in an application stating you were looking for office work experience?" she asks. "If you'd prefer not to take the position, I'm sure we can find somepony else."
"No! No, not that. Yes! I'll take the job. Consider me your new secretary."
The mayor smiles and snickers to herself.
"While the thought is nice, Anonymous, I prefer the term 'ghost writer'. Congratulations. See you tomorrow."
With that, the Mayor of Ponyville trots away.
"Thanks!” you call out to her, closing the door behind her.
Once the door latches, you hear three more quiet knocks on the door. Opening the door once more, Fluttershy sits on the other side, beaming up at you.
"Are surprises your fetish, Anon?"
You can't help but smile. You place your hand on top of Fluttershy's head and lightly scratch behind her ear.
"No, they're not. But, thank you."
You toss the bag of bits back at her hooves.
"I don't think I'll need this. I don't want to be in debt to you. No offense."
Fluttershy shakes her head, leaning into your ear scritches like a young pup.
"Keep it. It's yours. It's the least I can do for making you lose your other job. I-I'm sorry."
You snicker to yourself and kneel down to get on eye level.
"Then, I'll consider us even," you say with a smile.
"Yeah, even," she says happily.
You remove your hand and take the bag of bits.
"Then, in that case," you say tenderly. "Get the fuck off my porch."
"Wait, wha-"
You slam the door in her face and head back to the toaster. The toast pops high into the air and you deftly catch it in mid-air.
Today's a pretty fucking good day.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
I love you guys sometimes. Many of the readers in the comments figured out what was happening in the jobless arc immediately and quite a few of you PM'ed me as to try and not spoiler the story for other readers.
The OLP arc is short for Office Love Prologue. It established that the Anon in this world and the Anon in Office Love are connected. And now I'm ready to explain why this is.
Many commenters have mentioned 'Well, why doesn't Anon just move away already? How stupid can he be?' I decided that I should address this in a way that would be mutually beneficial for reader and writer. I have good news for you. I had this idea too. Three years ago. I'm still writing it. It's called 'Office Love' and it's my longest running Flutterrape related story to date. In Fluttershy Wants In Your Pants, Anon will never move away. But, if you want to explore the world of Anon moving away to Manehattan to get away from Fluttershy, I will recommend Office Love with all of my heart. Especially since I'm picking it back up this year (2016).
At this point, this is where the two story paths will diverge. The setup for OL has been made. My tangent arc is done, and will branch away from where Office Love goes without referring to it again. Thank you for your patience. As a final ode to hype up Office Love, enjoy this sexy Secretary fetish guess.
Secretaries
"And this is your desk," Mayor Mare says, pointing to a small wooden desk outside of her office. "Right now, we're just in an organization nightmare in city hall. Twilight used to do it for fun, but now she's a Princess and has to do... Princess things. So, it's your job. Be here from 9 to 5. Oh! And on the first Friday of the month, we wear wacky ties. But not too wacky."
"Uh," you mutter to yourself, looking down at your formal attire. "Alright. Sounds fair to me. I'll get to work."
"Good to hear it," she says. "If you need anything, I'll be in my office."
Mayor Mare turns on a dime, trots into her office, and closes her door with a slam. Your left to stare at the walls lined with tall filing cabinets, folders upon folders of tax records and birth records, and who knows what else from Ponyville's past. Rolling up your sleeves, you can feel yourself smile. Not because you're about to enjoy what you're about to do, but because this is a hell of a lot better than going hungry.
You decide that the best thing to do would be to sort all of the papers into their respective types of documents. Birth Records, Tax documents, Deeds, Licences all in their own respective cabinets. It's better than the large stacks that lie on the ground willy-nilly.
Taking a few stacks of paper, you place them on top of your desk, and mark down each type of document you've found to various post-it notes. Then, you place each post-it note on an empty file cabinet.
After that, it's all autopilot. You turn on the radio to a reasonable volume, and get sorting. Occasionally taking the stacks of paper to the cabinets when they get a bit too tall. Sure, it's mundane work, but it'll pay the bills.
Right as you're about to grab a new stack of papers from the floor, you hear a knock on the door of the office. You stand up straight, as if some sort of door-knocking PTSD has traumatized you for forever.
You look to the door, opposite the room from Mayor Mare's office, and stare intently, a bead of sweat running down your brow.
Maybe... maybe it isn't Fluttershy.
On the other hand, maybe it is. And now she's out to ruin you. She's out to take your job away from you. You place the papers on the desk and slowly move to the door. There's no way that Fluttershy would ruin what a good thing you have going right now. She wouldn't do that.
Would she? Ice pushes through your veins as you place a hand on the door knob.
As you open the door, Fluttershy sits on the otherside, a low cut skirt revealing the edges of her flank, her hair loosely done up in a ponytail, a set of glasses without rims pushed way down on her nose. She wears a tight sweater-vest around her upper half as she licks her lips seductively.
"Are sexy secretaries your fetish, Anon?" she asks.
You stare at her in numb disbelief.
"If you ever try to do a fetish at work again, I will poison the river outside your house," you hiss.
"Everything alright in there, Anonymous?" Mayor Mare calls out.
"Uh! Yeah!"
Fluttershy leaps up, frantically looking around.
"Y-yeah. Maybe things like this at an office isn't a good idea," Fluttershy says. "B-bye Anon!"
Closing the door behind you, you walk back to your stack of papers, guiltily whistling to yourself as Mayor Mare peeks in with the stink eye.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
With a ding, the toast pops up out of the toaster. You're all dressed and ready for another fresh day in Equestria, where anything and probably everything will happen. Taking the toast out of their slots, you dump them on a paper plate and take a knife out of a drawer. With a few steps, you open the refrigerator and look for...
Three quiet knocks on your front door. You groan to yourself.
"Damn it, HOLD ON!" you call to the door.
You scan the refrigerator for butter, that most holy of spreads that makes your toast complete. But, to your disappointment, nothing resides on your shelf except air. A distinct absence of butter. How dare you. How dare you forget to buy butter at the store, Anon? This is why we can't fucking have nice things. See, I feel like we ask so little, but it's always the same shit. Every damn time. You come home. Crack open a beer. It's like you barely even know I'm fucking HERE anymore. How hard is it to ask a simple "how was your day?" I care about you. I care about your day. I care about your life. But I-
Flutterpriest takes a step back from his computer and stares at the screen.
"Jesus christ. Uh. Okay. I gotta fix this and make this funny."
You slam the fridge door closed and growl on your way to the door, holding your butter knife. Throwing open the door, you point the knife at Fluttershy menacingly.
"Alright horse, what do you want? I'm already am off to a shitty-"
But you pause, because while the creature in front of you resembles Fluttershy, she is clearly not a horse. In fact, she's long, rectangular and... yellow.
"Beep, beep, Anon! I'm butter!" Fluttershy says happily.
You open your mouth to speak, staring down at Buttershy. Her pink hair and eyes are still on the stick of butter that is now her body. And you don't mean that in the "She's fat" way. But, well. Technically she is a fat, but, that joke isn't funny.
"Is butter your fetish, Anon?" she asks.
There is no amount of words you can say that would make this situation normal. This is out there. Even for a fetish guess. A million questions come to mind, but your mind scrambles together your thoughts, and your first question comes out as a jumbled mess of wat.
"How... did you... get here as butter?"
"Oh! Good question!" Fluttershy says. "I don't have hoovesies anymore. So I thought to myself, I butter-fly!"
You pause. Staring at her.
"Actually, Rainbow Dash carried me here."
"Yo!" Rainbow says, waving in the distance.
"Okay, that makes sense."
You look down at your knife, then back to Fluttershy.
"Hey, Fluttershy, can I try something?"
She would tilt her head in confusion, but she's a stick of fucking butter.
"Uhm, sure?"
You place your knife along the top of Fluttershy's back and begin to graze a thin layer of butter off the to-
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"
Fluttershy screams at the top of her lungs.
"IT HURTS. IT HURTS. STOP! STOP!"
"IM SORRY! IM SORRY! IM SORRY!" you scream, and slam the door out of reflex.
You hyperventilate, staring at your closed door, hearing the whimpering, panting Fluttershy on the other side of the door.
This wasn't what you expected. This wasn't what you expected at all.
You butter find a way to apologize tomorrow. Or something. There's no margarine for error.
View Online
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Ballroom Blitz - A Guest Chapter by ROBCakeran53
Coffee slowly percolates in the pot as you stare intently at the toaster, awaiting your bread to spring out. Calm mornings were the best mornings, where nothing crazy happened, Fluttershy would knock three times, then you’d be back to breakfast and on with your day. This particular morning, however, felt extra calm and quiet. The coffee pot didn’t splash everywhere and make a mess. Your toast popped out gingerly from the toaster, no flying through the air and you having to catch it.
Hell, even your triple S went without a hitch, and you even had a quicky in the shower.
Yes, today was going to be a calm, relaxing day.
As you sipped your coffee, there came three quiet knocks at your door. You smiled, taking your time walking into the foyer of your house, the bunny slippers you wore not even making a squeak on the linoleum. Reaching for the brass handle, the hard wood door opened without a sound, swinging out of the way to greet your usual morning visit-
In the span of a blink, you felt an immense pain in your face as you were shot back into the wall behind you, leaving a Anon-shaped indent in the drywall. Rattling to the ground was both you and your mailbox, the later leaving a cartoonic crater shaped as the flap on your face. Shaking your head, it corrected itself leaving only a slightly bloody nose.
You looked back up to the door and gaped. Standing on her rear hooves was Fluttershy, panting and holding the post your mailbox used to sit on.
“What the-”
Opening your mouth was the trigger, for she swung the post at you, barely missing your head as you ducked away and scurried into the living room.
“Fluttershy! What’s gotten into you?” you shout, taking a hiding position behind your couch.
The mare said not a word, instead reaching over to your stereo. What was she doing? Didn’t she know your favorite mix tape was in there?
Pressing the play button, the beat of drums began to take over the living room. The energy in the entire house shifted, all became calm for but a brief moment.
And then Fluttershy spoke.
“Are you ready, Redheart?”
You blinked in confusion, when from nowhere a white mare with pink hair, stepped into the living room from behind Fluttershy.
“Uh huh.”
“Dashie?”
“Yeah.”
You jumped, turning around to look at your television stand, to see Rainbow Dash sitting like a cat on top of your magic screen. How she hadn’t tipped it over was a mystery to you, but for now you had much more pressing matters to address.
“Lyler?”
That name made your heart stop. The sound of your toilet flushing brought you back to reality as you slowly turned to your right, just in time to see the bathroom door creak open and a mint green unicorn with the craziest eyes you ever did see step in.
“Poopy,” she spoke.
You turned back to Fluttershy with fear in your eyes, shaking your head.
“Alright ponies, let’s GOOOOOO!” Fluttershy shouted, then all four mares charged for you.
Without thinking, you kicked your leg up, your beautiful maple wood coffee table flying up in the air halting Fluttershy’s charge with blunt force trauma. Spinning around, you grabbed the couch side lamp in a hand and brought it upon Rainbow Dash, knocking her out of the air and onto your comfy carpeting. Your lamp now shattered and in pieces, you grieved for the light fixture for a moment too long as Nurse Redheart tackled you, landing on your couch with enough momentum to flip it backwards.
Both you and the white mare tumbled onto the floor, she landing on top of you. She slapped you in the face, you slapped her back. Then she bent down and kissed you passionately, but unfortunately that was for a previous story arc, so you threw the mare off and jumped onto your feet.
Fluttershy was recovered from the sudden halt, and now had the coffee table in her hooves as she swung it, connecting with your left arm. The table exploded into shrapnel upon striking you, sending bits of wood everywhere, some digging into the wall behind you. Your arm hurt, but not too badly so. You swung around for a quick punch at the mare, only for her to block it with a leg. You went for another swing, again blocked.
You backed up for a swing around kick, when Rainbow Dash lunged for you from the floor, knocking you off balance and falling into your recliner. As you landed, you reached around and grabbed the handle on the side and reclined, causing Rainbow to go past and crash out a window. Kicking both legs down, your recliner straightened out and you lept off, just in time for a medical syringe to dig itself into the chair.
You looked to the nurse pony for but a moment, before she began throwing more medical equipment at you. Running across your living room, you dodged, flailed, and screamed as you darted into the kitchen.
As you passed through your foyer, the front door exploded inwards, Rainbow Dash crashing through and into you. Landing just left of your previous indent in the wall, you staggered back to your feet, as the mare did the same. Quickly you kicked the still dented mailbox at Rainbow, the metal box bouncing off her head and back at you, to which you kicked again, but the second time she deflected with a wing.
Catching the mailbox in both hands, you swung to the right in time to meet Fluttershy coming for you. You opened the door, dropping your mail on the ground, and threw it at her. You shouted GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAL as her head went perfectly into the mailbox and she landed on the ground, using her rear hooves to try and kick the mailbox off her head much like a cat in a box would.
Rainbow jumped back at you, slamming a hoof into your face before backing up and bucking your chest, sending you flying into your kitchen where you landed face first into your microwave. With a audible pop you pulled away, your face forever dented into the side of the appliance, even the shape of your tongue sticking out was apparent.
You grabbed the appliance and swung around, throwing it at Rainbow. She ducked in time, but as Fluttershy finally freed herself from the mailbox the microwave was next to slam into her face, then for a perfect combo it slammed into Redheart.
“C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!”
A ball of mint green fur slammed into you, causing you to slide along your counter and slap your face into each knob that stuck out for drawers and cabinets. If you’d known ahead of time, you wouldn't have gotten ones that protruded out so much. Then again, planning for a brawl in the middle of your kitchen wasn’t a thought at the time.
When you landed, Lyler was straddling you, sixty nine style, her butt directly over your face as she let out the wettest, stickiest, and HOLY MOTHER OF GOD MISTER BOOM BOOM. The fart was quickly forgotten as the small cactus was birthed, slamming into your face. The needles punctured skin, and you screamed, pelvic thrusting into the pony’s face and sending her flying away.
Tearing the cactus off, you checked quickly to make sure both eyeballs worked. Okay, they’re good, however there was a single needle going through each nostril in a horizontal line. You grit your teeth as you pulled it out, droplets of blood staining your tile floor. Mister Boom Boom sure could pack a punch.
You looked into the foyer, noticing Redheart and Fluttershy shaking off the microwave’s wrath, but there was no Rainbow Dash to be found. That wasn’t good. You made a quick rush to the utensil drawer, grabbing all the knives and forks you could handle, and began throwing them at the mares. Fluttershy swung around, using her tail to deflect the silverware as Redheart deflected with her hooves.
Rainbow took that time to crash through your small kitchen window, just above the sink, crashing into you and sending both bodies into the refrigerator, denting the doors. You stepped away, looking at the window and thinking damn it, I loved those curtains.
Grabbing the spray nozzle from the sink, you pulled it out and began to spray Rainbow with it directly in the face. Flailing her hooves to deflect the spray of water, she opened opened the fridge door and began throwing stuff from it at you.
Wait a moment… in the back is the-
It’s too late. The carton of two month old spoiled milk flies right at you, smacking you clear on the face, exploding the crusty liquid all over your person. It drips from your clothes, and the smell, oh GOD the smell. Growling, you then charge at Rainbow, shoving her into the fridge and closing the door.
Fluttershy and Redheart march into the kitchen as you give the fridge a swift kick, sending it skidding along the tile floor into the mares, pinning them to the opposite wall.
You’ve had enough of this madness, so you run by the struggling ponies to escape. As you near the front door, there stands Lyler on her rear hooves, juggling… juggling…
“Oh sweet baby jesus riding a pogo stick…” you breathe.
The crazed mare is juggling actual grenades, how or where she got them you don’t know. All you do know is with her magic she quickly pulls the pins on them, a mad grin on her face.
“Mister Boom Boom gives his regards.”
You waste no time running up the stairs, hearing the fragmentation grenades landing behind you on each step. You round the stairs, charging for the safety of your bedroom as you hear the explosions begin. Taking shelter behind your bedroom door, the final explosion quiets into nothing but the cracks of falling debris. Looking out the crack of your door, you see nothing left of the stairs but a lone ballaster swaying back and forth.
You retreat back against the far wall of your bedroom, catching your breath as you try and make sense of it all. The question of how the fuck you’re still alive dies as three gentle knocks come from your bedroom door.
Slowly, you walk to the door and open it. Not surprisingly, Fluttershy sits there, a few cuts and bruises on her, but she’s just as intact as you are after the brawl.
“Good morning, Anon! Are crazy, random brawls your fetish?”
You blink at the mare.
She blinks back.
You reach down, grabbing her by the nape of her neck. With a Eeep! you hurl the mare onto your bed, landing with a oof and bouncing on the mattress. With a swift kick to close the door behind you, you then tear off what’s left of your shirt.
If Fluttershy can handle rough foreplay like that, then she can take what you got in store for her on your bed. After all, you have the weirdest boner right now, and like hell you’re gonna waste it.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The sun moves down the horizon, filling the sky with a crimson-orange light. It's been a long day. A really long day. But at least it's Friday. Which means you can go home, crack open a cider, and just relax.
As your home comes into view, you can't help but smile, feeling the book close on your week. Now it's time to rest. Now it's time to finally let-
Those are lights on in your house. Why are there lights on in your house? You know for a fact that you shut them off. You always do. The lights should not be on in your house.
Which means one of three things: Ghost Lights, An Intruder, Or Fluttershy. And two of those three things require a good ass-whuppin in order to be dealt with.
As you walk up the sidewalk to your home, you eye a hoe on the ground. Walking past Rarity, you pick up a rake and scold the white unicorn for laying on your lawn again. She whines about something dumb about getting a tan and fucks off.
You walk up to the door and grip the handle. Then, you pause. Suddenly, you feel like there's something you should do. Something that will make all of this feel more... at home.
You gently knock on the door three times.
"Coming!" calls Fluttershy from inside.
You groan, and toss the rake back into the grass. Fluttershy opens the door to your home and beams up at you.
"Welcome home, Anon! Come on in!"
"Fluttershy, you have a fucking LOT of explaining to do to explain why you're in my house."
"A-and I will. Just come inside first," she says, stepping aside for you to enter your own goddamn house.
You cross the threshhold and close the door behind you. Fluttershy merrily trots to the kitchen, and you follow her. Then, as you walk inside the kitchen, you notice the lights are dimmed and there's a lit candle on the table.
"So Anon, what do you think?" she asks.
You walk to the place you sit at the table and sigh.
"You set up a romantic dinner. I get it. Something, something. Symbolism. I'm sure you really worked hard at putting all of this together. But this isn't doing anything for me sexually. I don't get off to interior design."
Fluttershy pulls out a notepad and scribbles down a note, then shakes her head.
"No, Anon! Look on the plate in front of you," she says.
You look down to your plate and you freeze. That's when the aromas begin to hit you. That's when you notice the dirty dishes in the sink. You pull out a chair and sit down to better examine the plate in front of you.
That... that's a porkchop. That's a breaded porkchop. You lean in and sniff it. Yeah, that's meat. That's actual meat. In Equestria. And it smells... it's smells good. No, better than good. It smells like the first decently cooked and cut piece of meat you've seen in Equestria since you've arrived.
"This... this is meat," you say.
"Mhm!" she says happily. "One of Applejack's piggies were getting old, so they had to put her down. Once they used everything they could, they were going to bury the rest. I asked if I could use the rest of her to feed some of my carnivorous animals and thought... well, maybe this could all work out in your favor too."
You poke the porkchop and begin to notice everything around it. That's grilled asparagus. Lightly coated in some sort of teryaki sauce and wrapped in bacon. Wait. Hold the fucking phone. That's bacon. Jesus Christ. You haven't had bacon in what feels like a lifetime. Fucking vegetarians hors-.
"Wait a second," you mutter.
Your eyes move to the next item on the plate. And you definitely smell it. Garlic. Yes, those are mashed potatoes. No, better. Smashed russet potatoes, which the skins still in, lathered with butter and garlic. Little bits of green onion layer the top as your eyes move up to meet Fluttershy. Then, you notice the bottle of Merlot and a glass.
"It's already airated. So it should be ready to drink," she says. "I-I worked really hard to try and make a gourmet meal for you. D-do you like it? I-is good food your fetish?"
You raise a hand to silence her and you pick up a fork. Then, you spy the side salad. A spring green mix with what smells like a raspberry vinagrette, dusted with sesame seeds. You dig in your fork and take a bite. The raspberry swirls through your mouth as you examine down at your plate, unsure what to eat first.
"O-oh! I almost forgot!" Fluttershy says.
She moves to the counter and brings back a small saucer.
"I used the drippings and some of the wine to make a gravy. But it came out more like a sauce. I-I hope you like it."
Your eyes move to the gravy, then back down to your food. You take a knife and gently cut into the porkchop. The meat is so tender, you could have easily have cut it with a fork. Stabbing a bite of porkchop, you dip it into the gravy, and watch as the excess drips into the saucer. You take a bite.
And it's like heaven melted into your mouth. You aren't even ashamed of the boner you have right now. This is your first bite of meat you've had in years, and your body screams for it. It welcomes it in like a middle-aged man bringing home an escort.
"What do you think?" Fluttershy asks.
You cut some of the bacon off the asparagus and stab it with a load of potatoes, then munch on that as well. You taste the garlic mix with the butter with the light hints of charcoal, but also the gentle sweetness of the sauce on the asparagus. This is better than any restaurant you could have gone to in Ponyville. This... this is out of this world.
"Fluttershy, I'm going to level with you here," you say. "This is the best food I've eaten... like. Ever."
Her eyes light up and she giddily hops on her tips of her hooves.
"S-so is it your fetish?" she asks.
You bite into more of her food, savoring every bite.
"No. Food isn't my thing."
You sip the wine, closing your eyes and enjoying every taste of it.
Oh my god. Fluttershy can fucking cook. This is the best. You know what? It's friday. Let's the cut the mare some slack. Heck. It might not even be bad to get laid after a meal like this. Fuck it. Let's give her a chance.
"But, I'll tell you what. How about I-"
But when you open your eyes, she's gone and the front door clicks shut. You look from the door, then back down to your food.
"Ah. Well. I tried."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You wake up to another average day in Equestria. Honestly? There's nothing of note to talk about. You get out of bed. Do your normal Triple S. You don't have any plans. You have a simple bowl of cereal. You don't have anything on your mind. You're caught in the wheels of the endless monotony of routine. There's nothing to talk about. Only the day-to-day mindlessness that keeps us going.
It's such a tangled web we weave, living another day to do the same things the next in a never ending cycle of spending currency to gain currency. What progress do we make? What difference do we achieve? Are we expanding the way people think? Are we revolutionizing anyone's frame of mind? Can we teach others to learn from new perspectives and innovate what we do on a daily basis? Or is all of our work for naught? Can we truely live and impact the world? Can you, as a human, impact Equestria? Can you, as a human, sitting in front of a computer screen that's patiently waiting for Priest to get off his fucking high horse aleady, change the world or make an impact in our community?
Maybe not. But are we even really trying?
There's three gentle knocks on the door, and you rise from your seat, because it's what you're supposed to do. It's all you know how to do. If you did not do it, it would not be written. It gives you worth. It gives you meaning.
You open the door, and you feel as if your eyes have been lit ablaze.
Sitting on the porch, beaming up at you, is the most horrid monstrosity you've ever seen. And it's not Lyler.
"HIYA ANON!?!?1" says the beast.
"What the actual fuck are you?" you groan. "Do I need to call the cops? I can't handle two stalkers."
"Oh, silly Anon! <3" says the creature, who says her words in a way to imply there would be a heart at the end of her words. "Don't you recognize me? XD I'M FLUTTERSHY!!! XDDDDD"
You stand, facing down the creature who doesn't even remotely look like Fluttershy. She's entirely black, and has three horns in addition to her two wings. The pupils of her eyes are black, and the butterflies on her rear were crossed out crudely with red paint and was replaced with a bloody knife with a pentagram symbol.
"No. You aren't Fluttershy. You're-"
"I KNOW!" she says aloud. "I was reading on the webbernetz, and I found this really kewl site where I gotz all deez sweet idears. I thought I'd try them out on you and hope I can get your hot monkey dock."
You stare at her for a second.
"Did you just say dock?"
"Yeah! XDDD," she says, actually saying the letters. "It's like dick and cock at the same time, so now it's 20% kewler. And I don't go by the name Fluttershy anymore. I prefer to be called RaynWolf. With a Y. I'm a super alicorn now that is best friends with Twilight and Celestia and Luna. And I got to help with Cadance's and Shining Armor's wedding and-"
"Okay, Let's wind back a second," you say, placing a hand on your forehead. "No one pony, for any reason, needs to be saying, doing, have done... ANYTHING that you said. This is just getting rediculous. Can you please-"
"B-but! I-I wanna talk about how I ran away from home as Filly to persue my dream and it's sorta implied I have a romance with the god of Chaos and-"
"Hold that thought, I'm listening. Keep talking," you say before stepping inside.
"A-and. Uh And I got magical powers from a race of tiny butterfly ponies. And I have a brother that appeared from nowhere that I'm better at in every way. O-oh! and once I wrestled a bear and made it cry! I-I'm all tough and strong, and one day I'm going to be a princess and rule over equestria. I'm so cool and awesome and everyone-"
You step in the doorway, holding a pump action shotgun. You cock it and aim it at the abomination.
"What did you do with Fluttershy, you foul creature?" you say.
The beast takes a step back.
"W-what?"
"I know you. I know you well," you growl at it. "You're the cancer. You're the cancer of Fimfiction. You take many forms, but all of them red or black in nature. You take perfectly good intentions and burn them into the ground in poor execution and taste. Everything gets ruined once you touch a story. Everything becomes edgy and overpowered."
You advance on the creature, the barrel of your weapon pointed directly between her eyes. Tears flow down her eyes as she backs up.
"B-but. I-I wanna talk about my favorite band, Black Pony Brides!"
"No, we're done here. I refuse to stoop down to your level, scum. Any last words before I send you back down to Pony Hell?"
The beast gulps, looking from side to side.
"I-I have a gift card to Pony Topic... a-and I'm in a relationship with the only human in Equest-"
The shot rings out throughout Ponyville, and the beast spasms. Tenticles burst forth from it's mass and it's face melts, twists and distorts into a mass of flesh. Eight spider-like legs burst out of the troso and lifts up into the air. You unload another shell into the creature and quickly load in two more caps.
It spits acid like juices at you, and you narrowly dodge to the side as it burns at your clothes. Pulling the trigger, you put the beast out of it's misery.
Silence falls in front of your house as you try to catch your breath. With a flutter of wings, a yellow pegasus descends from the sky. She gasps and puts a hoof to her mouth.
"W-was it..."
"Yeah. An edgy OC. They found us. But we won't let it seep in. We can keep them out."
Fluttershy looks around the scene and pokes the OC with a stick. It remains still as she stares down at it.
"I-I suppose edgy OC's aren't your fetish, are they?" Fluttershy asks.
"No, Fluttershy. They aren't. And if you ever see one again... tell me immediately. We can't let the infection spread," you mutter.
The two of you stare down at the mutilated OC corpse, hoping to god that you'll never see something like it again.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
"What the fuck am I doing?"
You look down at yourself, and you suddenly realize that your mind has led you to do something stupid. Again. You have shoes on your feet. You have shoes on your hands. And you have shoes on your knees. Most importantly, you're on all fours, like some poor human who identifies as a handicapped centipede.
You try to move your left knee and right arm forward at the same time. Then, you repeat for the other two.
For some reason, you thought that you could probably learn to trot. You know. Like the ponies do. But, surprisingly, this shit's pretty fucking hard for a human. Then, when you saw yourself in a mirror, you could only feel ashamed of your life decisions up until this very moment.
You rise to your feet and toss your hand-shoes into an empty corner.
"Thank God nobody watches me. That would have been embarrassing."
Then, those three knocks grab your attention. Oh boy! Plot direction!
You head to the door and throw it open wide. Fluttershy stands on the other side, wearing a concerned expression.
"Sup, Fluttershy?" you ask, oddly in a good mood for a change.
"Goud Mourning, Aenon," she says, slowly and deliberately.
You stare down at her, perplexed.
"Uh. What are you doing?"
"Aim traying tew due tudae's gues."
"Uh. No. You're trying to give me an aneurysm. That's what you're doing."
She shakes her head, taking another deep breath.
"Air taypos ur feetish, Ahern? " Fluttershy asks.
You slap your forehead in frustration.
"Fluttershy, I think you're just getting lazy. Don't come back until you have an actually good guess."
You slam the door in her face.
"Sheet!" Fluttershy yells.
You turn away from the door and stare at your home.
"Holy FUCK. I have nothing to do."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You stand outside your home, staring at it inquisitively. Something has honestly just occurred to you. You've lived in this world for... who knows how long? Months? Years? Wait, don't think about that. It's not worth dwelling on that. We can't dip our funny with our existential dread today.
On topic, you stare down at your lawn. Where the grass sits quietly. Waiting. Contemplating. You see, on Earth, there was such a thing as yard work. It was fucking miserable. It ate up time on weekends. It wasn't fun. The best you could do was maybe listen to music or an audio book as you did it. But... here's the rub.
You've never done yard work in Equestria once. Not ONCE.
You kneel on the ground and stare at the grass. It looks like grass. There's no cut marks. No bite marks. It just... is there.
"I'm fuckin watching you, grass. Don't think I don't know what you're up to."
"U-uhm, Anon?" a gentle voice asks.
"Not now, Fluttershy. I'm watching the grass grow," you say.
"Grass doesn't grow in Ponyville, Anon."
You turn to her with a speck of curiosity.
"Really?" you ask. "That... seems just untrue."
"Well, it does grow," Fluttershy says. "Grass can't just -not- grow. But in some cities or towns in Equestria, the unicorns have magic spells that they can cast on the ground to have the plants not grow."
You rise to your feet and scratch your head.
"So, wait, not magic? Why not, I dunno. A fertilizer or something?"
Fluttershy smiled to herself and nods her head.
"We tried that! And it made weird spiny tentacle plants that did unspeakable things to all of us."
You raise a hand to your mouth.
"You know, I should really be more surprised... but I'm really not."
"Right?" Fluttershy says. "It's nothing fazes us as a species anymore!"
"You guys must have really crazy hentai."
Fluttershy tilts her head, looking up to you.
"What's a hentai?"
"Nevermind," you say with a sigh. "What's your guess today?"
Fluttershy pulls her saddlebag off her and opens it wide. Inside you see a weird bundle of black seeds. You raise your head back to her.
"Are those the tentacle plants?" you ask.
"Uh-huh!" she says happily.
"Where did you get those?"
"Why, my good friend, Discord! He's been helping me with ideas lately. What do you think?"
"I think you should burn those," you quickly reply.
Fluttershy sighs and reholsters her bag.
"Oh, well fiddlesticks. It was worth a try! I'll see you tomorrow, Anon!"
Fluttershy turns and leaves, as three tiny black seeds leap out of her bag. Your gut drops. You dive to catch them, but they dig themselves deep within the soil, as if they had a mind of their own.
"Okay. I think I better get Twilight."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
"FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST! HEEEELP!" you scream at the top of your lungs.
The vine releases you, and tosses you to the ground. The wind escapes out of your lungs as you feel a 'snap' in your nose. Then, a gush of blood rushes out your nostrils, like popping a water balloon. You try to breathe, but the blood pours down your throat. You reach out an arm to scramble away, but the hissing black vines creep their way toward you.
You dig your fingers into the dirt, pulling yourself back toward your house. The dirt buries itself into your cuts and scrapes as you drag yourself along the ground. You glance over your shoulder. The thorned plants slither their way towards you, steadily growing longer. You try to move your legs to army crawl your way to your house, except, your right leg does not budge. It lies limply on the ground, unresponsive.
"Fuck!" you growl. "Fuck off you fucking rape plants!"
As if angered, a vine seizes itself around your vulnerable leg and pulls. Numb tingles shoot up your leg, and then burning pain shoots through the rest of your body. You scream in pain and dig yourself deeper into the dirt as the plant wills you closer. The ground begins to give way around your fingers, leaving rows of claw marks in the ground.
Well, this is it. This is how you die. To a black rape plant. Not that the color of the plant is the problem. The problem is going to be the massive thorns that are going to ravage and ruin your asshole. You're going to be butt hurt until you die. At least it couldn't get any worse.
"Hey, Anon!" calls a familiar voice.
Actually, it might be easier to kill yourself.
"FLUTTERSHY! GO HOME!"
"BUT ANON!" Fluttershy yells. "I HAVE A QUESTION!"
You look over your shoulder, and Fluttershy stands proudly on two hooves, holding... is that... is that a fucking super-soaker? Is that a goddamn pony squirt gun? No. That’s it. We're done here. We're fucking do-
"Are FLAMETHROWERS your fetish?!" she says, flipping down a welding mask.
She takes aim at the plants and shoots forth a massive torrent of fire from the end of the device in her hooves. The vines hiss and cry in pain as the fire engulfs the beast. The tentacles release you and you collapse on the ground.
"Come to MAMA!" Fluttershy yells as the vines try to scramble away. But they can't. They're plants. That's how plants work. Come on reader. Get your shit together. I don't care how you do it. Fucking read a book. Take a goddamn biology class at a local community college. Get your shit together.
The vines shrivel and scream, flailing about in all directions like a dying snake. Then, black and charred, they lie still. Fluttershy lifts her welding mask and flies over to you, smiling to herself proudly.
You cough in pain and spit out a mouthful of blood. Gazing up at her, she looks expectantly down at you for an answer.
"No," you pant. "But if you get me... to a hospital... I won't sue."
Fluttershy nods, before trotting over to your right leg.
"That's okay, Anon. I'm just happy I could help. Let's get you to a hospital!"
She grabs you by the right leg, and the rush of pain surges through your senses once more as she pulls you along the ground.
"NO YOU FUCKING BITCH! LET ME GO! DONT DRAG ME BY MY FUCKED UP LEG! AHHH! I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU! OH MY GOD!"
Fluttershy sighs happily as she pulls you along the ground.
"It's so nice that everything's back to normal."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The television channel changes and a group of teen mares stand on a stage, heads bowed. Reverent and respectful. You're sprawled out in a couch in a fashion that couldn't possibly be comfortable, but you're so bored and restless that you've just found yourself in this position. You would have adjusted to a more comfortable position a while ago, but you've found yourself proud of your newly acquired contortion.
"This is the way the world ends," says a stallion on screen. "This is the way the world ends. Not with-"
"DO SOMETHING ORIGINAL YOU SHITS!" you yell at the teens on television.
You shut the device off and stare at the ceiling. My god. How have you run out of things you can do in Equestria? This is a vast, never-ending land of magical wonderment, and you're lazing about on the couch. I mean, how boring is that? Imagine if you wrote an autobiography and people actually -read- it? Why the hell would anyone even keep going after this?
Three gentle knocks on the door snap your head to attention.
At least there's something in this world that gives your life meaning. You rise to your feet and move to the door. Tossing the door open, you feast your eyes on that reliable yellow pegasus, who never fails to add some spice to your day.
Actually, when you put it that way, it seems like she isn't so bad. Let's try that over.
That accursed butterscotch rape machine lingers on the doorsill, biting her lower lip. She peers at you through half-lidded eyes and a smile that hints for you to stay awhile. Her hoof traces the ground, the sensual curves of her body failing to hide her intentions.
Actually, let's go back to the other description. That still wasn't quite what you were going for.
"G-good Morning, Anon," Fluttershy says, her voice filled with hesitation.
"Whassup, Fluttershy? How are you today?"
"I'm... okay. Uhm. I wanted to know if you would like to have a delicious mini-muffin," she says, producing an entire tray of muffins behind her back, because that's how cartoons work for some reason.
You look down at the muffins, scrutinizing them. They look like normal muffins. But smaller. Miniature muffins. Like, a muffin that is smaller.
"Hrm. Now if I wouldn't know better, Fluttershy. I would say that you have an external agenda here," you say. "For some reason, I get the undenible suspicion that I cannot trust you."
"Why, Anon? Why ever would you not trust me?" Fluttershy says.
"I am unsure," you say. "But, I suppose I will simply have to consume one of these muffins and see what resulting chain of events occurs from doing so."
"Then you should do that."
"Then I shall."
You take one of the muffins in your hand, when Fluttershy sighs and shakes her head.
"Okay, Stop. Stop. Stop," Fluttershy says, stepping inside the house. "Listen, I don't think this one is working."
You stare down at Fluttershy as she moves into your home. Except, as you turn around, you find its not your home any more. Instead, there's a whole cast and set of other Fluttershys. Some manning lights. Some manning cameras. The Fluttershy that was just beside you walks towards a Fluttershy sitting in a folding chair, wearing a priest collar and black button up shirt.
"Fine, Fine. Cut," says the priestly Fluttershy. "What? What's wrong?"
"Do you honestly think people are going to buy this one?" The Fluttershy says harshly. "I mean, I've been doing this for awhile, and I have to admit, I don't think this is working the way you want it to."
"What are you talking about?" says the director-priest-horse that isn't fooling a single goddamn reader of this story.
"Well, read your own script!" says Fluttershy.
"What the fuck is going on right now!" you scream to the dozens of Fluttershys around you.
"I know what happens," says the priest. "Anon eats the mini-muffin. Then he shrinks down to the size of one of the muffins. Then you eat him, and ask aloud if Vore is his fetish. Then you realize he's in your stomach, and it cuts to Anon being destroyed by your digestive acids."
"See, there's the problem," says Fluttershy. "That isn't really funny. That's just distressing. And to be honest? There's going to be some weird person out there that ACTUALLY gets off to this episode."
"Don't be absurd, Fluttershy. Nobody actually gets off to this series, and if they have before, I sure wish they would say so."
A silence hangs in the air. You sit on the ground of your fake home, feeling the fake wood floors. You begin to panic. Where is your house? Where do you live?
"I have better things to do with my time than to have my character butchered in... in this disgusting way! I'm supposed to be quiet! And shy!"
"Yeah, but your character also never learns her lessons," he says. "What's your point?"
"If you're going to keep doing this to me... then... then... I quit!" she says. "I'll go to a better story where I can be snuggled and called gentle, nice things!"
"Fine! You're fired!" the priest says. "Fluttershy #7. You're in."
A Fluttershy sitting on a bench, sipping a cup of coffee, happily leaps to her hooves.
"O-oh! I-it's finally my chance!" she says, trotting beside you and picking up the muffins.
"Please, help me," you whisper to the new Fluttershy.
"It's okay. It'll all be over soon," she says.
"That doesn't make me feel better," you whisper.
"ALRIGHT! QUIET! ACTION!" the priest says.
Suddenly, in a bright flash of light, the world around you shifts back to your home.
"Why, Anon? Why ever would you not trust me?" Fluttershy says.
Your head turns to Fluttershy, holding a tray of muffins.
"I DON'T FUCKING WANT TO BE EATEN. NO. GET OUT. NO. FUCK YOU," you scream, pushing her out the door.
You slam the door behind her and lock it. Your breath comes in quick, shallow bursts. Sweat drips down your forehead.
"WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED?" you shout at your empty home.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The Last Mare In Equestria
You know what sounds nice? A walk. It's getting chilly out. Not fully fledged cold, but there's a nip in the air that warns of the coming winter months. The leaves on the trees are shifting to faded amber, and there isn't a doubt that fall is upon you.
You throw on a hooded sweater and step outside. You can only smile as you look around at the world of Equestria. Honestly? For as much crap as you give this world and everything in it? It can be pretty wonderful.
Ponies bustle back and forth throughout town, going about their daily lives, and you can only admire how simple things are. You don't have too much stress, with the exception of yellow horse. You don't have any massive debts. Things are pretty great.
Your feet carry you to the top of a hill, and you look down upon the town of Ponyville below. You relish in the silence. Honestly, you love the disconnection. There's no stress of social media. No obligations to the outside world. Being alone is the chance for you to take a deep breath and center yourself.
"Hello, Anon," says a gentle voice.
You turn your head, and set your eyes on the yellow mare that torments you. You sigh, choosing to recline on a nearby park bench. She opted to wear a black turtleneck sweater to shield herself from the cold, and you can't help but feel reminded of a little bumblebee. A bumblebee with weird pink hair. Hey, I didn't say it was perfect, but you're reminded of it. Work with me here.
"Hey, Fluttershy."
"How are you?" she asks.
"Alright, I suppose. Just trying to enjoy the weather while I can, you know. I can get a bit caged up in the winter."
"I know the feeling," Fluttershy says. "Even after all of my animals begin to hibernate, those that stay inside can get really stir-crazy."
A silence falls in the air, as you feel no incentive or reason to pursue the conversation with Fluttershy. Maybe she'll leave you alone if you just ignore her long enough. You stare down at the town, watching the ponies flitter around like ants.
"Uhm, Anon?"
You groan, knowing your wish was too good to be true.
"Yeah?"
"D-do you mind if I sit next to you?" she asks.
"Yes."
She pauses, frozen in place.
"Is that a 'yes, I do mind,' or a 'yes Fluttershy. You can sit next to me?'"
"Yes, I do mind," you say.
Fluttershy takes a few steps closer to you, and you glare at her. You just want some peace and quiet. That doesn't seem like an unreasonable demand. But, she trots up to the bench and sits beside you, looking down at the town below. You sigh to yourself, trying to ignore her beside you.
"They're like ants down there, aren't they?" she says.
"Yeah," you idly respond.
Another silence falls in the air. What's her game, what's she playing at here? This is ridiculous. You should just stand up and-
"Anon?" Fluttershy asks.
"Yeah?"
"If I were the last mare in Equestria," she asks. "Would you be with me?"
You turn to her.
"What kind of question is that?"
She stares at you, unblinking, unmoving. She reaches into her sweater and pulls out what seems to be a small tablet.
"If I were the last mare in Equestria," she asks. "Would you love me?"
Your eyes move to the tablet. A timer ticks down a number of seconds on the screen. She hands it to you. The numbers tick down from 20.
You turn to look at the town below you, and recline back onto the bench.
"What are you doing?" you say, your voice straightening out.
"We get to be together now, Anon. And now? There isn't a choice," she whispers. "No more temptation from other mares from you. Nopony can take you away from me."
"You're... you're going to..."
The words catch in your throat, as you watch the tablet count down from five.
You bite your lip. A warmth presses against your back. Fluttershy scoots closer. The hair on the back of your neck rises on end.
Fluttershy leans her head against you. You hear the explosion from the center of town. A collective of screams.
Your body goes limp.
"I love you, Anon," Fluttershy says, her voice sounding so distant.
The fireball eats away at the town below you, enveloping all that you know.
Author's Note
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Sitting on your couch, you practice folding and folding your legs. Is it supposed to be right leg on top of the left knee? Or left leg on top of the right knee? Do you keep the leg out far, or close? Is suppose it matters on your gender. Or does it? Do guys keep it wide to protect the jewels? It probably doesn't matter if you have pants on. There can't be people SO perverted that they'll just stare at an area of perfectly clothed- Okay, yeah never mind.
You decide that this amount of over-thinking of a basic social action is clearly not what you want to do with your day, so you rise to your feet and your best to not think about how you're breathing. Because you control that. Breathing that is. Breathe. Do it now.
Stumbling to the door, you open it wide to find, well nothing. Duh. There's nobody at the door, you idiot. Why would someone be at the door?
You close the door, feeling stupid for thinking that anyone would possibly be outside.
Then, three gentle knocks. You swing the door open to find Fluttershy sitting on the other side.
But, you take a step back, looking down at the mare. She's different today. Very different. She's wearing some light make up. And... are those covered up crows feet? Her hair is done up differently. Still long and styled, but clearly dyed and highlighted. She peers at you over half-lidded eyes, biting her bottom lip.
"Hey there, young man," Fluttershy says. "Mind if I borrow a cup of sugar?~"
You pause, frozen in place, your gaze moving to her delicately manicured hooves, the pearl necklace. Fluttershy seems... older. And not just like a few years. She looks as if she were her mother, if that's how looks and genetics worked in Equestria. But they don't, and nobody knows, so stop trying to make sense of it.
"How did you become old, Fluttershy?"
"Oh, old isn't the word I'd use Anon. It has such a bad rap these days," she coos. "I prefer the word... refined. Or perhaps... Experienced."
She giggles to herself as she crosses the threshold into your home and runs a hoof down your pant leg and traces it up towards your crotch.
"So, tell me, Anon... Are cougars your fetish?" she asks softly, sensually.
You feel your pants begin to betray you as you lift her into the air like a cat that took your fucking chair. God damn it, Jade. I fucking WRITE in that chair.
"N-no!" you say with all the resolution of a kid deciding between two presents. "Now go home!"
You toss Fluttershy out of your home and slam the door behind you. You pant to yourself.
"This isn't okay. That was too close. I swear... if she got close to MILFS..."
You shake your head, trying to pull yourself together.
"Just relax, Anon. It'll be fine. She'll never get it. She'll have to try almost 1000 times in order to get it right."
A chill runs up your spine, wondering to yourself if someone, or somepony is behind your door, even though there wasn't any knocks. As if... Fluttershy is on the prowl.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You rise out of bed, ready to embrace another amazing day of-
Aw fuck, who are you kidding? Today's probably gonna suck. Again. You'll just be doing your best to give people a laugh and help them have a good time,and it'll go horribly wrong in some way.
Why do you have a habit of doing that, Anon? You always have the best intentions, and then BOOM! SHITSTORM HO!
Oh well, it's not your fault that you aren't funny or clever. Might as well roll back over and head back to sleep.
On the other hand, you're already on your feet. Fuck. Now you HAVE to be awake. ... Then again, if that line of reasoning doesn't even make sense for the writer, so now he doesn't believe his own character's motivations. Uhh. Fuck.
There are three gentle knocks on the door.
Actually, that doesn't help either. That just SUPPORTS going back to bed. God damn it, think of something.
There's bacon in the freezer.
"Might as well get up," you mutter to yourself.
Fucking yes. Good job, writer. You saved the story.
Flutterpriest sits back in his chair and sheds a single tear that one of the first compliments of the day had to come from himself.
"Hooraaayyy..."
You throw on a robe and, fuck it, pink bunny slippers. Yes, plot twist bitches, you have pink bunny slippers. They're comfy as fuck too. Thank Rarity for always being around to give you free clothes for some reason. Because she runs a profitable business. Or some shit. Just roll with it.
"Okay," thinks the reader.
You descend the steps one-by-one, rubbing the sand out of your eyes along the way. You approach the door, and throw it open.
Suddenly, a 40 lb yellow and pink spotted cougar leaps on top of you and slashes off your pants.
"RAWWWRRRR" growls the beast on top of you.
You chuckle to yourself and shake your head.
"Oh Fluttershy. Cougars aren't my fetish you silly goose!"
The cougar bites open your throat. Then you suddenly realize something. Perhaps the cougar transformation spell went catastophically wrong when it was cast on Fluttershy. Or the potion was mixed wrong or something. Who fucking knows with this stupid world? Either way, Fluttershy's mind was clearly replaced with the mind of an actual cougar but the impulse to interact with Anon still remained.
Also, I lied, you don't have bacon. You die a sad, lonely Anon. Without bacon. Being eaten by a cougar. Dick first.
Author's Note
What is my fucking life?
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
One foot moves in front of the other as you walk through the well worn paths outside of town. The leaves are beginning to turn outside of Ponyville and a chill is in the year again. Soon there will be planning for the running of the leaves, the hot chocolate will be running off the shelves, and Rarity's hidden store of thick sweaters will be back on the shelves. You can't help but smile at your surroundings. Fall has always been your favorite time of year. Likely because there isn't as much pressure or obligation to get outside and 'be social', but the option is still available if your feeling lonely. And if you're honest with yourself?
You kinda are.
It's been years. At least two years -Or was it three? Four?- since you came to Equestria and other than the yellow pony that plagues you, there hasn't been a lot of love in your life. In fact? You'd be hard pressed to say you have many friends. It's not really a problem, to be honest. You're a reclusive, quiet person. It's easier this way.
A leaf floats on the wind, and you reach out, snagging it. You examine it's crisp surface. You look at the veins and lines in the leaf, pondering to yourself it's fragility. It's ability to just be plucked, and then... that's it. Gone.
You hold the leaf in your palm, enclose your fingers on it, listening to it crunch and crack under ther pressure. It's pieces flow into the wind, separated into ashes. You watch as the wind carries them off, then see her trotting in the distance towards you.
Fluttershy.
She has dark circles under her eyes and a saddle bag. The poor pony probably spent the whole night working on a new fetish guess under the hopeful attempt to win your heart. By going through your pants. It's would be cute if it weren't so damn creepy.
You turn and attempt to walk away from her, but you know it's just a matter of time before she trots up and says
"Hi Anon!" Fluttershy calls, galloping up beside you.
"Hey, Flutters," you say, hoping if you keep your sentences short and sweet, it'll be over quicker.
"How are you?"
"Fine."
"Isn't the weather wonderful?" she asks happily. "I positively love autumn. It's just so calm and peaceful..."
"What do you want?" you ask in a growl.
Why the hell doesn't she just get to the damn point already? You stare at the ground, hands in your pockets.
"W-well, we've been seeing each other a long time now, right?" she says.
"If by 'seeing' you mean 'using our eyes to acknowledge each other' then yes."
"Well, don't you think that... well. That's some sort of sign?"
"A sign you're a stalker, maybe," you say. "What are you getting at?"
"Uhm..." she says, searching for what to say. She starts to say something, but it all comes out in muffled whispers and she stumbles over her own words. You groan to yourself and push forward.
"Listen, if you don't have something to say, or some sort of fetish."
"I-I do!"
You stop, turning to her with a fire in your eyes. You feel your fists clench.
"Then just get it over with already!" you shout at her.
Fluttershy stops and stares up at you. She smiles to herself. A sort of smile that almost doesn't even acknowledge that you're there. You hold your ground, despite not being able to read Fluttershy for once.
She buries her face into her saddle bag and takes a moment to search around for her prop. You roll your eyes, tapping your foot.
"Mhm!" she says, her mouth clearly gripped on something.
She whips her head in one quick motion, and a shooting pain rings up your leg. You scream at the top of your lungs and find that your left leg can't hold you upright anymore. You fall to the ground in shock.
Your blood pumps. You feel your leg growing colder, you look down to your leg and find an axe buried inside, blood soaking the pant leg at a growing rate.
"WHA! NO! WHAT THE FUCK! WHAT THE FUCK!"
You hyperventilate, when you look back to your assailant, she's buried her head back into her bag. She pulls out a small metal pipe and holds it in a hoof.
"We've been seeing each other a long time, Anon," she says flatly. "And I've attempted to give you every chance at doing this the nice way. But some animals just need a little tough love."
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" you scream at her, using your arms to push yourself away.
You shake as you attempt to retreat, but your leg screams every time it moves.
"Nothing at all, Anon," she says. "Nothing's wrong with being true to your feelings. And after all the pain and abuse you've put me through, you owe me this."
She raises her hoof in the air.
"Now, we have to do this the hard way."
It's brought down in-between your eyes, and the world fades to black.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The first thing you encounter? The splitting headache. You try to move your arms to massage your temples, but you encounter a resistance. You take a deep breath, and open your eyes.
You're surrounded by boxes and various furnitures in a large open space, while you're sitting in a simple wooden chair with a cushion. The ground beneath you seems to be a wooden floor, but it's cold, and the only light comes from a few lightbulbs in the ceiling. You look down to your leg, finding a cast around your injury. You try to take a deep breath, trying to compose yourself, but soon, you're hyperventilating. You struggle your arms again, hearing the rattle of chains. Now you feel the cuffs around your wrists, pinning your arms behind the chair.
"Oh! You're awake!" says a gentle voice.
You hold your breath. You stare forward, as the sound of hooves echo behind you.
"How are you feeling, my love?" Fluttershy asks, trotting in front of you.
You glare at her, biting your lip and remaining silent.
"Oh come now, Anon. This is going to get a lot easier for the both of us if you can at least play along."
She turns away from you, coming back with a glass of water.
"You need your fluids, you lost some blood on the way over here."
She puts a pink straw with tons of crazy loops and holds it up to your mouth. You look down at the clear liquid, and turn your head away. Who knows what the fuck is in that? This isn't okay. None of this is alright. You try to move your legs, but find them tied to the chair.
"Young man, if you don't drink your fluids, I'll have to get out the IV. Do you really want me to put needles in you?"
You growl at the mare.
"Fuck you."
"In time, Anon," she says happily, bringing the straw closer to your lips.
You let the straw into your mouth and carefully sip. It tastes like water. No salty tastes. No weird powders at the bottom. You take another gulp. Then another. Then, the whole glass. The dry, slimy taste in your mouth washes down, and you can't help but feel more refreshed.
"There, isn't that nice?" Fluttershy asks gently. "Things are just going to be so much easier if you behave."
"Kidnapping isn't my fetish, Fluttershy," you growl.
She stares at you, and smiles.
"Why, Anon. I think you're misreading the situation. We're past that step now. If I can't find a way to let you love me. I will teach you to love me."
You glare at the horse as she turns to a pitcher of water, filling the glass once more.
"Here, you'll need more," she says. "After you've let this sit, I have some food so we can try to up your blood sugar."
You lean your head away and Fluttershy frowns. She takes deep breath and sets the glass by the pitcher.
"Alright. I can see you're not willing to work with me right now. That's fine. I'll come back to check on you in a little while. Don't go anywhere, my love.~"
You grit your teeth as Fluttershy trots up a set of stairs, opens the door, and exits your prison. You struggle against your cuffs once more before giving up. You close your eyes and lean forward in your chair.
"Fuck," you mutter to yourself. "Now what do I do?"
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Fuck man, this shit is killer on your neck. It's been hours down here in this basement. Your eyes continually scan the room for something, anything to help you with your current situation. Yet, each search only proves more and more futile.
It feels as if the chair you're strapped to is bolted down, or at very least, it's weighted. The entire basement seems to contain boxes and furniture. No knives. No keys. No random bottles. No hair pins. No random squeaky toys for animals. Fluttershy must have combed this place for any sort of weapon or object that you could have used against her. If only you could see what was behind you...
The feeling of helplessness plunges you even further into panic. There has to be a way to get out of here. There has to be a catch. But you have to figure it out. Preferably.
The door to the basement opens, and Fluttershy steps through, smiling down at you.
"Oh, sorry," she says teasingly.
She knocks on the basement door three gentle times.
"Were you expecting something like that before I walked in?"
You grit your teeth, not dignifying her with a response.
"Still not very talkative? That's fine. We'll have plenty of time to talk at dinner."
"I'm not going to eat a single morsel of slop that you put in front of my face," you growl at her.
"And starve? I won't force you. But I'm sure you'll eventually give into the hunger pains. I'll have plenty of yummy food that you'll like when you're finally ready to give in," she says with a skip in her step.
You hold your breath as she moves to the glass of water once more. She moves across the floor and brings the straw to your lips once more. You turn your head instinctively.
"Oh, come now, Anon. Do you really want me to hook you up to an IV? "
You smile, deciding to take a shot in the dark.
"Needles aren't my fetish, Fluttershy."
She pauses and stares at you carefully. Her tail flicks. Her ears wiggle as she ponders your statement.
"That's nice to know, but that wasn't my question," she says flatly. "Will you drink? Or IV. It's your choice."
Your stomach drops. Your eyes grow wide as she holds the glass to you once more. You have no idea what's in that. Sure, the first glass was fine, but then she filled it from the pitcher. The first glass could have been a decoy for the real stuff. But she glares at you. Her eyes dig deep in you, analyzing you, tearing apart your clothes piece by piece. You feel weak. You feel owned.
You lean your head away.
Fluttershy sighs and leans away, sipping from the water herself. Your eyes grow wide as she pulls an IV stand out of a box and a bag of clear fluid. She wheels the stand over to you and places the bag on a hook. She rips tubes out of sterile wrapping and preps the bag. Then, she pulls out a needled adapter.
"I'll drink the water," you say urgently, failing to hide the fear in your tone. "We don't have to do this."
"I'm afraid not, Anon. Not until you can trust me."
She moves behind you, out of your eyesight. You feel hooves holding your left arm. They press and push around your skin.
"Has any pony told you your veins are really tiny?" she says.
"Fluttershy, don't-"
Then, a prick. The needle digs it's way in your skin painlessly, but sends uncomfortable shivers though your arm. You feel the chill of the saline surge into your body, forcing you to grow goosebumps.
"There we go! Now don't fidget, or you'll start bleeding. Then we'll have to do all of this over again, and I'll have rub your nose in the mess you made."
You hear a piece of tape rip, then stick over the pressure in your arm.
"Understand? " she asks.
"Fear isn't my fetish, Fluttershy."
She walks around to face you, then stares you dead in the eye.
"Do you understand?"
"Being a hostage isn't my fetish."
"I won't ask a third time," she says.
You gulp. Her wings flare aggressively. She glares at you like an object. Devaluing you. Dominating you.
"I won't break the IV," you say softly.
"Good boy, " she says with a smile. "Now then, was that so hard?"
You hold your tongue as to not further poke the beast.
"Dinner will be ready soon. I'll send Harry to grab you when it's ready."
She trots away and ascends the stairs before looking back down at you one last time.
"Don't spoil your appetite!" she says in a low gentle voice. "I have a very, very special dessert planned."
The door closes.
You've got to get out of here.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Half of the struggle of being a hostage is staying calm. You sit in the chair, feeling the tube in your arm. A part of you wonders if you can find some crazy way to get the needle from it. You'd only be able to use it once, but it could be just what you need to get out of here.
You wiggle your wrist, trying to feel out the object that's inside your body. You try to twist your arm around the cuffs to feel further up your arm. As you carefully adjust your body, you can just feel the edge of the insertion site at the tips of your fingers. You close your eyes and bite your lip, trying to gently push the tube out of your skin.
The upstairs door opens and a bear walks downstairs. You do your best to act natural as he walks up to you on all fours, eyeing you curiously. He sniffs at your pants and studies the IV.
"Heya, Harry."
He turns his head away from you, ignoring your voice.
"I guess we aren't on good terms then, either," you sigh. "I don't know what I expected."
The bear walks behind you and out of sight, sniffing along your arm. You feel his hot breath on your hands. Then, the tube pulls out of your body. You gasp at the shock of pain and you feel a trail of warm liquid dribble down your arm.
"Jesus Christ! Harry. Dude. Not cool."
But, before you can try to continue to butter up the bear, you feel the chair you sit in rise of the ground, and move towards the stairs. Barry carries you up the stairs, through the living room, and into Fluttershy's kitchen. You smell... wait a second. What is that smell? Is that... steak? Yes, you smell the savory aroma of steak, onions, roasted garlic, potatoes as the bear sits you at the table and then walks of the room.
Fluttershy hums to herself as she trots through the kitchen, stirring one pot, taking another pan out of the oven, plating vegetables. She has a apron tied around her front that says 'kiss the cook.' For some reason, you have a sinking feeling in your gut that it may not be a suggestion nor optional.
"I hope you're hungry," she says. "I have plenty of yummy food that I know you'll just love!"
You remain silent as she brings plate after plate of food to the table: mashed potatoes, steak wrapped in bacon, gravy, grilled asparagus, corn, salad, broccoli, cupcakes, sliced bread and butter. Your mouth betrays you as you have to swollow your saliva. She smiles at your appetite erection.
"Looks like there sure is something that you'd like! Now then, what would you like to have first? How about some of the meat? Dipped in gravy?"
Fluttershy sits beside you, taking a fork and knife, slicing a part of the steak into a bite size piece. She loads it onto a fork and dips it into the gravy.
"It's not drugged, if that's what you're worried about," she says. "All of this is just for you. So eat to your heart's content."
She raises the fork in front of your mouth. You see the charring on the meat, the reddish-pink center. The gentle coating of brown gravy on the outside. You can't remember the last time you had meat. Some instinct awakens inside of you as you want nothing more than to put that delicious morsel in your mouth.
You open your mouth. Yet, the fork does not move. Fluttershy giggles to herself.
"Now, say you love me," she says.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Guesses Won't Save You Now - Horror 4
Horror 4
“Fuck that,” you say reflexively.
The piece of meat in front of you wafts it’s delicate aroma towards you. You can almost taste it. The first piece of meat you’ve had in Equestria, now teasingly dangled in front of you.
“Oh. Come on, Anon. It’s just words. All you have to say is that you love me, and all of this yummy, yummy food is yours.”
Your grit your teeth and attempt to fight your restraints. There’s no way you can give this mare a single inch. If your experiences with her have been any indication, she’ll take a mile. And that’s not an allusion to your dick.
“Forced feeding isn’t my fetish, Fluttershy,” you growl.
Fluttershy snickers and shakes her head.
“You still think this is about fetish guesses?” she says. “That’s so adorable. Have I ever told you you’re adorable, Anon?”
You viciously buck against the chair you’re restrained to, trying to break away.
“Starvation isn’t my fetish! Dehydration isn’t my fetish! Being a hostage isn’t my fetish. Being a victim isn’t my fetish! FUCK OFF! LET ME GO!”
Your blood rushes through your veins. The room feels as if it spins around you. Your breathing becomes quick and shallow.
“All nice guesses you can cross off your list, Anon. But I think you misunderstand me. This isn’t about trying to guess what fetish I’m trying to test on you. You’re mine now.”
You sit still, staring at the yellow pony in front of you. She smiles down at you. A confidence wells within her that you haven’t seen before. There’s a tenderness and strength in every interaction she has with you, like she knows she could kill you with a single movement. Yet, she doesn’t. She offers you a piece of steak, still steaming with heat, covered in a succulent brown gravy.
“No,” you say. “This isn’t how this is supposed to go. You wouldn’t do this.”
Fluttershy smiles and shakes her head.
“Anon, I’m Ponyville’s resident animal expert. It’s my job to care for all of this town’s animals that are in need of my help, as well as to discipline those who are out of their owners hands.”
You glare at her as she pauses. A drip of gravy drips down onto your pants. Fluttershy puts the piece of meat down onto a plate.
“I’m sure I don’t need to tell you that you aren’t a pony. Which means you fall under my jurisdiction of animal discipline. On top of that, you have no owner here in Ponyville. Which then means, you’re just a lost little animal, without a home to go back to.”
“What the fuck do you call my house?” you spit at her. “I make payments. I have a fucking job. I can talk like a real person.”
“It doesn’t matter if you own your own home or if it’s a box in an alley. You’re a lost animal in need of my help. So, the only way we can make progress is if you learn to love me.”
She smiles devilishly as she picks up the fork once more.
“You need me, Anon. You need me to be nice to you. Do you love me, Anon?”
This means…
This means, she’s never going to let you go. She’s not going to stop until she breaks you into tiny pieces. You could just give up now. You could just give in and let her have what she wants. But there’s got to be a way out of this. It might not be peaceful, but there’s going to have to be a way to sort this shit out. And if that’s the case, there’s no way you’re going to give into her demands. Fluttershy’s gone too far this time.
“The only thing I love about you is that you’re going to die some day,” you say. “And I might get to see it.”
Fluttershy sighs in disappointment and puts the fork down.
“Well then, if you’re going to want to do this the hard way, then so be it. Harry!”
The bear returns, sitting down beside you.
“Please return Anon to the basement, and be sure he gets a good view of the corner.”
You glare at the pegasus, your gaze refusing to break contact with her. Even as the bear picks your chair back up and moves you downstairs, it isn’t until she’s out of sight that you feel yourself slump forward in resignation.
This is going to be hard. Much harder than you would have anticipated. Fluttershy isn’t going to just give up. A part of you still believes that if you can just guess the fetish she’s trying to put you in a scenario for, all of this will end. Fluttershy couldn’t just kidnap someone and make them her slave. Slavery isn’t legal. Even Fluttershy should know that.
Except, now this allows you have a good view of the room that your back was to before. You glance around, trying to find any sort of item that could help you in your cause for escape. However, to your chagrin, it’s only more of the same boxes and furniture.
The first step is going to have to be finding a way out of this chair.
Harry places you in a vacated corner of the basement, Your knees collide with the walls as he sets you down. The only view you can see is the corner. You try to turn your head, but you only get a view of the walls on either side of you. This method of ‘time out’ leaves you feeling as if you’re stuck in a small closet.
Then an idea pops in your head.
“CLAUSTOPHOBIA ISN’T MY FETISH!” you scream out.
Then, silence.
Harry the Bear’s nails clatter against the stone floor of Fluttershy’s basement. You can hear the stairs creak under his weight as he ascends. Then, the light turns out. And the door closes, leaving you in darkness.
“BEING IN THE DARK ISN’T MY FETISH!” you should upstairs.
You pause, letting the silence hold you like an old, forgotten friend. You feel the helplessness rising inside. You feel yourself shake.
You close your eyes, trying not to tear up.
You can get out of this. You have to.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Another Chance - Horror 5
Hours pass in the darkness. Your stomach growls. You feel a tear drip down the side of your face. But you refuse to make a sound. You may be a hostage, but you haven’t given up yet. You continue to fight against the cuffs that you are bound in. The metal cuts around your wrists, and you can feel the stinging burn of the opened skin.
Three quiet knocks at the door grab your attention. A chill runs up your spine. You sit up straight and at attention. The door to the basement creaks open. A soft pitter-patter of hooves can be heard descending the stairs, but the light isn’t turned on. Only a weak trail of light comes from the opened door to the basement. It should be almost night by now, but still some sort of artificial light illuminates the walls in front of you.
“It’s almost time for bed, Anon,” echoes the gentle voice of the pegasus through the room.
You remain silent as you hear Fluttershy walk towards you.
“Would you like to come upstairs and sleep in bed with me? Or would you like to stay down here in the dark?”
“Fuck off,” you growl.
“Oh, well that’s not very nice,” you hear Fluttershy say. “We can’t have that.”
You hear the hooves grow louder as she moves behind you, and then stops. You feel the warmth of her breath on the back of your neck. You hear the striking of a match. Light casts a shadow of your form against the walls. You bite your lip.
“When you don’t want something, you will say ‘No. Thank you.’”
She pauses, letting the light of the lit match flicker against the walls.
“Say it,” she says.
“Fuck. Off,” you growl. “I’m not sleeping with you.”
Then, silence. A sigh from behind you.
Suddenly, a blazing hot sensation sears through your skin on the back of your neck. You scream out loud, but the pain fails to yield. You feel as if your skin were melting off your body. Your muscles tighten. You try to pull away, but Fluttershy pushes the match deeper into your skin.
“No, Thank you,” Fluttershy says. “Say it.”
The light fades and the pain subsides. You’re plunged in the darkness, panting and aching. You hear the striking of another match. Sweat drips down your forehead in sheets. You try to catch your breath as you watch the way the light dances against the walls.
“All you have to do is be polite, Anon. Is that too much to ask?” she asks.
You clench your hands into fists. Is politeness too much to ask?
Wait. What the fuck are you thinking?! She fucking kidnapped you. This bitch doesn’t deserve any amount of cordial behavior. But the pain. Do you really want to be burned again?
You growl as you feel the heat close to the back of your neck once more.
“Fuckin. FINE! No, Thank you.”
A tension hangs in the air as you watch the way the fire casts it’s light against the walls.
“Say it again,” she says. “And mean it this time.”
You shake your head in disbelief. Is this bitch even serious right now? God damn it. You’ve got to find a way to get out of here.
“No, thank you,” you say firmly. “I do not want to sleep with you tonight.”
You hear Fluttershy giggle behind you.
“There, was that so hard?” she asks. “You’re learning. Now then, it’s time for your reward for a lesson well learned.”
Fluttershy tosses the book of matches into the corner, your eyes move down and rest upon it before the light goes out. You feel a hoof press upon your shoulder and trace the length of your arm.
“I’m so proud of you, Anon,” she says quietly in the dark.
You feel the warmth of her breath against your ear. Her hoof traces back up your shoulder and down the side of your body.
“You’ve done so well today. I know how hard this must be for you,” she whispers in your ear.
You feel her hoof move down to the line of your pants.
“But I swear, I’ll make it all worth all the while for you.”
Her lips move around your ear lobe, and you feel her teeth gently nibble. Her hoof moves down to the crotch of your pants as she feels your private areas. You shake, feeling totally helpless. You try to move your hands, but feel the cuts dig deeper.
Then, an idea strikes you.
Using all of the might you have left, you try to whip your head towards Fluttershy. The side of your skull directly connects with Fluttershy’s forehead. She quietly yelps. Her teeth bite down on your ear and she falls backward.
Fluttershy growls as she brings herself back up on four hooves.
“You’ll wish you hadn’t done that, Anon.”
You hear her hoofsteps move toward you.
Suddenly, you feel a strong impact to the side of your head. Then you plunge into darkness, darker than the room around you. You feel yourself grow weightless.
Then. Gone.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Smoke rises over the edge of Ponyville, but when the firefighters arrive to put out the flames, not a single soul is found.
The moonlight guides the path in the dark of the night. You follow behind Fluttershy, Harry the bear following behind you. You feel weightless as you robotically place one foot in front of another. Fluttershy hums a happy tune to herself, breaking the gentle song of crickets.
“Don’t worry, Anon!” Fluttershy says cheerfully. “I’ll be more than happy to let you stay with me for as long as you need. Things will get better! You’ll see.”
You remain silent, not out of a refusal to give her any more affirmation of breaking you, but rather because you can’t bring yourself to say anything.
You have nowhere else to go. No home. No real friends.
“You… you won’t get away with this, Fluttershy,” you whisper.
Fluttershy stops, and you stop behind her.
“Oh? I won’t get away with this?” she says quietly.
Sirens blare in the distance, the smoke billowing up in the air behind you.
“Anon, I hate to break it to you, but I already have,” she says, turning to look at you. “You set your own home on fire. I’m just doing my job. Who’s going to believe that the…”
She clears her throat, throwing a lock of hair over one of her eyes, before digging a hoof in the ground.
“Meek, quiet little element of harmony that loves animals, would ever hurt a fly?”
She snickers to herself before looking up to you determinedly.
“You’re mine, Anon. The sooner you accept that, the happier we can be together.”
Your fists clench. And then, automatically, you strike the mare in front of you. She falls to the ground, her eyes wide in shock. You push against the ground and dart away from the path. You sprint with all of your might, the scenery rushing past you as you flee from your captor.
“Get him, Harry! Don’t let him get away!” you hear Fluttershy yell.
You spot a patch of trees where you set your course to try and lose them. Soon, just as you are about to reach the line of the forest, you hear the scramble of legs behind you and the roar of a bear. You try to put everything you have into your charge as you duck and weave between trees. Each step sends the cracking of twigs and rustling of leaves echoing through the forest. You listen as Harry’s own steps alert you to the distance of your pursuer.
You pant for breath. You can’t keep this up for forever. You’re gonna have to find a place you can hide. Somewhere that you can shake off Harry and get away. You had to build yourself back up from nothing once. You can do it again. But you can’t allow yourself to be caught.
Up ahead, you spot an oversized tree. You faintly taste copper in your mouth… or is that blood? You aren’t even remotely in the sort of shape you’d like to be for this sort of action. You need to stop and catch your breath. Once you pass the tree, you leap to the left and stop. Leaning against the trunk of the tree, you take a few slow, deep breaths in an attempt to catch your breath. You hear the bear closing in and coming near.
You hold your breath, pushing yourself closer and closer to the bark of the tree, you hear the bear rush past you, still running deeper into the forest. You slowly exhale, trying to stay as quiet as possible. The rustle of leaves moves deeper and deeper until, it stops. Your eyes move to the ground, and find a small walking path that’s free of branches and leaves. You move onto it and push forward, trying to stay as quiet as possible.
Once you find the treeline once more, you scan the landscape to find any source of Fluttershy. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears as you listen for any sort of sign of the winged menace.
It’s now or never, Anon. Run.
You run out into the open, your feet crunching around the grass. A light mist forms from your exhaled breath from the chill in the air. You sprint along the path towards Ponyville. You have to get out of this town. Whatever puts the most distance between you and Fluttershy, the better. The best way to do that would be to catch a train. The elements of harmony probably have connections in towns all across Equestria, but if you can get to somewhere like the Yaks or Saddle Arabia or the Griffon Kingdom, maybe you can escape her grasp.
You look behind you, and find the path behind you desolate. You look to the skyline and only see the billowing of smoke from your burning home. Then when you look up to the moon-
The shadowy outline of a pegasus with long pink hair.
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Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The Chapter Where Fluttershy Rapes Anon - Horror 8
Your blood runs cold as you see the pegasus in the air, staring down at you with her cyan eyes. You put everything you can into your sprint. The flapping of wings rings through the air as you push harder and harder. She’s on your tail now. If she catches you, that’s it. Game over, man. Game over.
“Come BACK here, Anon!” she yells at you. “You’re just making this harder on yourself.”
You pant for air, seeing the edge of town on the horizon. If you manage to get into town, you might be able to tuck and weave through the houses and buildings to lose her.
But, you feel a hoof on your shoulder.
Then a tug.
You lose your footing and fall to the ground. Your head collides with a rock and you see stars other than the ones in the night sky above you. The world goes still. You lay on the ground, feeling a dampness on the ground that mats your hair with warm, thick liquid.
You pant for air, and hear another voice pant as well as a yellow figure moves around your prone body.
“I’ve had enough of your lack of cooperation, Anon,” she says firmly.
You move your arms to try and get up. She whips her head at you, and you freeze in place.
Your body refuses to move. You will yourself to move, but something in your brain is rooted to the spot. Her eyes stare deep into your soul and dress you down. You feel yourself tremble under your gaze.
“I’m sure you haven’t forgotten my stare, Anon,” she says. “Did you really think you had any sort of choice? Did you think you could really get away from me? I’ve only been NICE to you. I’ve only been PATIENT with you. I’ve let you run around, hit on other mares, cheat on me, abuse me, hate me, reject me, and say hurtful things about me. Because I love you. I love you so much that I’d let you do anything. Harm me, curse me. Heh, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you all of the things I’ve done. I’ve brought you back to life. I’ve dismembered myself for you. You owe me. You owe me everything and still I was patient. No more. I’ve had enough, Anon.”
She moves herself over you and stares down at your motionless corpse.
“Lie down,” she commands. And you do.
Your body moves on its own, lying down on the cold ground. You feel yourself continue to bleed from your head.
“Please, stop,” you murmur. “Please.”
“Shut up,” she says. And your mouth closes on it’s own. You whimper, but it only comes out as muffled whines. “Unbutton your pants.”
Your hands move down automatically and undo the button on your pants.
“Good boy,” she says quietly.
She faintly smiles as she cranes her mouth to your neck. She gently kisses the inside of your neck. You try to turn your head away, but instead all you can see is the stars in the sky and the moon shining down on you, the smoke from your home rising in the distance.
“Pull down your pants and underwear,” she commands in-between kisses.
You feel her tongue slither against your skin as you hands move down and remove your clothes. Cold air breathes against your flacid cock. Tears form in your eyes as she moves down, kissing down your shirt towards her prize.
“Watch me,” she says, and your body leans up as you watch Fluttershy position her mouth next to your pelvis. She kisses your exposed skin with a giggle. “I don’t want you to miss a single moment of this.”
She takes your flaccid dick into her mouth and begins to suckle on it gently. Blood begins to rush to your cock out of natural reflex. You feel dirty. You feel used. You try to look away, but you can’t.
You’re useless as she begins to slide her tongue up and down your shaft. You’re helpless as she savors the taste of your manhood. You want to get away as you listen to the sound of her suckling and slurping. You can’t cry for help as she bobs her head up and down on the length of your cock.
She lifts her head up, stroking you with a hoof as she giggles gently.
“See, is this so bad?” she asks.
What’s the point anymore? What’s the point in being alive? You’re pathetic. You’re weak. You’re useless. You can’t even fend off a tiny pony from using you like her own personal sex toy. You can’t even control your own body. You’re her puppet. She owns you.
Tears stream from your eyes as she rises to her hooves.
“Now then, I hope you can enjoy this next part. It’s all about you, Nonny.”
The words feel as they pierce your insides as she positions herself over you. You feel a drip of something warm and slippery, then see her mare juices dribble down onto your dick. You close your eyes.
“You. Will. Watch,” she says.
You open your eyes, another tear falling down your face. She shoves herself down on you, and you feel the warm, tightness of her flower hold you. You groan as she moans outwardly.
“Oh, Nonny! You’re even better than I imagined!~” she pants.
You watch the mare move herself up and down, savoring the length of your cock. Her tightness holds you and sends waves of dirty pleasure throughout your body. You try to will yourself to look away, but your body still won’t cooperate.
You’re a piece of shit. You’re a fucking dirty piece of shit with no purpose left in your life. You can’t even make your own decisions.
Tears run down your cheeks as Fluttershy moans like a whore.
“Oh, Nonny! Your dick is everything I’ve ever dreamed about!”
She leans down and plants her lips on yours. You feel her tongue push into your mouth, forcing yours to move in time.
You feel your muscles tense against your will. Your member throbs, then you feel a rush of fluids move through your body. Your body forcefully thrusts up, shooting your juices into the mare.
“Oh!~” Fluttershy moans. “It’s so warm…”
Your muscles relax, and you collapse. Your face lies on it’s side, staring out the forest where a bear creeps back towards you and his owner. You feel the side of your face rest in a pool of your own blood.
“There… wasn’t that nice?” Fluttershy says gently.
Tears run down your face, mixing with your own blood.
Author's Note
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You feel a hoof caress your cheek as she lifts herself off you.
“It’s a shame I didn’t have the chance to finish… but that’s fine. We have a long time ahead for us. We’ll be able to build your stamina. You did very well for your first time,” she says.
You stare at the bear sitting beside the path down at you.
“Clean yourself up,” she says in disgust.
Your hands shake as you bring your clothes back up to your waist. You use your underwear to wipe the fluids off your dick and button your pants before curling into a ball on the ground. You feel Fluttershy’s hoof caressing your side. Her touch feels as if it burns you deeper than the match’s brand on the back of your neck.
“Why are you so sad, my love?” she asks gently. “There’s no reason to be sad! You’re going to be loved now. I’m going to care for you. You won’t have to worry about anything anymore. I’m going to cook marvelous things for you. We’ll make sweet, sweet love all night long. It’s everything an animal like you could possibly ever want.”
Silence hangs in the air as her caressing stops.
“And you are going to learn to love it.”
You shudder, the cold air digging into your skin. You feel empty. A shallow husk of your former self.
“And one day, I won’t even have to use the stare. You’ll simply say that you love me. That you want me. That you want to make love to me. That you want to be with me forever, and all will be right with the world. Your training will be done. You won’t be some pet or animal anymore. You’ll be my lover. This is what you’ve always wanted Anon. And this is what you owe me.”
You feel a part of yourself shatter on the inside as you shiver. Tears flow unrestrained down your face.
“Do you have anything to say to that, Anon?”
You feel her eyes press down upon you.
“Say something,” she commands.
“Stockholm Syndrome isn’t my fetish.”
A silence hangs in the air.
“W-what?” she asks.
Your eyes open wide.
“Stockholm Syndrome isn’t my Fetish. Stockholm Syndrome isn’t my Fetish,” you begin to laugh. “Stockholm Syndrome isn’t my Fetish.”
Fluttershy takes three steps back.
“Shit,” she mutters.
“IT FUCKING WAS. THIS WAS ALL A FUCKING FETISH GUESS ALL ALONG,” you scream. You feel your facilities begin to come back under your control. You move your arms and legs. You rise to your feet. “FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU YOU FUCKING HORSE.”
“H-harry, go home,” Fluttershy stutters.
“YOU made me fucking burn my house down. YOU fucking RAPED me. YOU KIDNAPPED ME!”
Your hand balls into a fist as you swing at the pony who leaps to the side.
“What the fuck is WRONG with you?! I’m going to fucking END you! This went WAY too fucking far this time.”
“E-eep!” Fluttershy screams, before lifting off into the air and flying away.
“YEAH, YOU FUCKING BETTER FLY AWAY YOU HORSE ASS HORSE. BECAUSE WHEN I FIND YOU, I’M GOING TO BITE OUT YOUR FUCKING THROAT. THEN MAKE YOU EAT YOUR FUCKING BUNNY ALIVE. THEN PULL THE BUNNY OUT OF THE HOLE IN YOUR THROAT AND EAT HIM AGAIN. I’LL MAKE A FUCKING RUBE GOLDBERG MACHINE SO THAT YOU WILL PERPETUALLY EAT AND SHIT OUT YOUR OWN FUCKING ANIMALS.”
And so the story goes. Fluttershy didn’t leave her house much after that. Anon tried to burn down Fluttershy’s house, but got stopped by the police. Who would have thought that trying to attack a pony with so many animals as pets also had a pretty good personal protection system. You got lifetime in prison without parole, and ended up meeting a pretty sweet dude name Jose there that bums you cigarettes. Honestly, all of that isn’t so bad in the long run, because at the very least you don’t have to deal with…
Fucking Fluttershy.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You wake up one bright, sunny afternoon to the sound of your alarm clock. It’s another average day in Equestria. Where fourth-wall breaks are the norm, even though you don’t quite understand what fourth wall you’re breaking, because you’re supposed to be a character in a story.
Actually, you know what? Let’s talk about this for a second. You are the character in the story right now. It’s called suspension of disbelief. You are letting go of the world around you for a second. You aren’t sitting in a chair, reading a story. You aren’t on your phone, scrolling through text. You aren’t on a tablet, waiting for the bus to arrive or some shit. Right now, you are a character in a story. It’s relaxing. It allows you to have experiences that you might never have otherwise had. It’s a safe way to learn and experience things in an environment where you can’t be hurt.
This is how we widen our perspective and guide ourselves towards being better characters in our own world. So, yeah, you aren’t ACTUALLY this character. No, you aren’t ACTUALLY doing what you’re doing in this story, but if you can’t take a deep breath after being almost 76 thousand words deep into this and realize that this is all in either good fun, or at least is trying to widen your perspective, then we need to seriously talk.
But none of that is the point. The point is, you get up and brush your fucking teeth. Because you have the worst morning breath, man. You kiss your mother with that mouth? Jesus Christ. She might as well sucked your Dad’s dick before kissing you, because you’re basically doing that to her.
Then, you hear three gentle knocks on the door.
Your whole body tenses. Because that’s what this story does. That single line appears more times in this story than the word Fluttershy.
Actually, that’s not really true. It’s a figure of speech. Readers. I’m trying to be funny. Can you roll with me for like, 10 seconds, before jumping all over my dick? Thanks.
You head downstairs, then realize you should probably put on pants.
So you go upstairs and put on pants.
Then you go back downstairs, freshly panted, and open the door.
On the other side, is Fluttershy, wearing dark black clothes and a white clerical collar.
“Priests aren’t my fetish, Fluttershy.”
“Actually, I’m not Fluttershy. This is a self-insert now.”
You stare down at the pony in front of you, pausing.
“So, you’re saying I’m the reader, and you’re the author of this story,” you say.
“Yeah. I’m Flutterpriest,” says the pony in front of you.
You pause, staring down at the yellow horse.
“Can we talk?” you say.
“Yeah, that’s kinda why I came here. Can we have coffee or something?” I say.
“Yeah, sure.”
I walk inside and force you to realize that there’s some weird perspective fuckery going on in this chapter. It’s highly experimental because it’s the 100th chapter god-damnit. We’re going PURE self-flagellation here.
“Listen,” I say, clapping two hooves together and making coffee magically appear out of nowhere. “I want to really honestly thank you for persevering this far into this story.”
“Uh, I don’t really have a choice?” you say. “I’m the main character. What you write is what I do.”
“No, that’s not exactly what I mean. I mean, this story just kinda becomes pure shitposting sometimes. I realize that. But I really want to thank you. I’ve done my best to post as much content as possible. I have a lot of fun writing these things, and you guys could have put this story down at any point. Instead, you kept reading. So, just, thank you. I wanted to let you know I really appreciate it.”
You look down at your hands.
“You’re… welcome?” you say.
I open my mouth and pause.
“You know, on second thought, saying that from your mouth doesn’t make a lot of sense. If I WRITE that you say ‘you’re welcome’ it’s not exactly sincere.”
You pause, silent.
“Yeah, I don’t exactly know what you’d say, so there’s not much else I can have you honestly say. This chapter is all full of fuck anyway. So I guess I’ll just wrap this shit up. Thank you for persevering through this story. You’re the reason why I write. I hope you continue to enjoy all the bullshit I throw at you and I’ll do my best to keep this fresh and interesting as we push further and further down the rabbit hole.”
You blink, and the priest horse in front of you disappears.
You look down at your hands.
“What the actual fuck did I just read? Er, witness. Er. I don’t even know anymore.”
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Pretty Much All The Clothing
You're sitting at your table, sipping a nice fresh cup of coffee, when you hear three gentle knocks at the door. Mother fucker. It's way too fucking early for this shit. Maybe it's from the constant anxious dreams you've been having, the constant reality resets that happen in this fucking story, or just the fact you haven't had your morning coffee, but you're on extra pissy mode today.
You rise to your feet and answer the door. Once you throw the door wide, the yellow pegasus who follows you day in, day out smiles up at you brightly.
"Anon! I need you to come with me!" she says brightly.
You slam the door in her face.
"I meant come as in follow! Not Cum!" she yells through the door.
You sigh and open the door again.
"Can you really blame me? I can't fucking see your words like life is subtitled."
Fluttershy brings a hoof to her mouth as if pondering something.
"Yeah. And, I suppose that sounds like something I'd do... maybe."
"Plus, I know the alternative to not following would be you sitting on my doorstep all day crying, so let's fucking go."
With a hippity hop, blu-skiddo, and bound, you find yourself walking into Carousel Boutique with the yellow menace.
"Oh! It's already time, isn't it?" Rarity says happily. "I'll get the supplies. The two of you just sit in the dressing room."
"I'm not getting naked, I hope you realize that," you say immediately.
"Oh, I know. I've just got a whole bunch of guesses today I thought I'd try all at once! Just be patient. It'll all be over soon."
"Sweet. Use a choice of words that sounds like I'm dying. It's pretty accurate."
Fluttershy continues to hop along, ignoring your last phrase. Your eyes move around Rarity's boutique, feeling frustrated. You've always hated shopping for clothes. Let alone when it wasn't clothes for you. Luckily, there seems to be a stool you can sit on. Maybe you stare at the speckled ceiling and try to find constellations in them.
"Alright dearie," Rarity says, returning with a large chest in her magical grasp. "This is everything you requested. Just be sure not to have too much fun, you love birds!"
"I will fucking end you, Rarity."
"I'm just a bystander to all of this, Anon-Darling," Rarity says, waving off your tone. "Plus, I'm not interested in a threesome."
"That's not my fetish either, Fluttershy," you say, returning to the yellow horse as Rarity walks away.
"Oh, that's fine, Anon. That guess is for another day anyway. I wouldn't subject myself to a threesome with Rarity . Even I have standards."
You sit up straighter, surprised at Fluttershy's sick burn.
"Damn, Fluttershy. I'm impressed. You gained, like, three respect points."
Fluttershy looks up to you in joy.
"Don't test me," you say. "Do your shit so I can go home and fuck around all day."
Fluttershy leaps into the chest, and a flurry of clothing tosses around inside. Before long, Fluttershy leaps back out of the chest wearing four long lanky socks.
"Are socks your fetish, Anon?" she asks.
"No. Plus, that color doesn't really go with your hair. You should aim to match with your eyes," you say flatly.
"See, that's totally what I told Rarity, but she said we should 'Accentuate our best features'."
"Psh, your eyes are way nicer than your mane."
Fluttershy stares at you blankly. You look back at her.
"What?"
"N-nothing. Y-you just said-"
"Fucking. Are we done yet?"
"N-no."
Fluttershy leaps back into the chest. With another flurry of clothing, she leaps out once more. Now a small pair of shorts adorns her rear end, covering her cutie mark.
"Are shorts your fetish?"
You sigh, placing a hand to your forehead.
"No, Fluttershorts aren't my fetish."
Fluttershy remains silent as the studio audience collectively groans and applauds.
"I had to try," Fluttershy says.
"Whatever, just move on."
She leaps into the box once more, and quickly leaps out wearing a mostly black Guns N Roses: Appetite For Destruction shirt.
"Damn, nice shirt," you say voluntarily.
"You think so? I stole it from some bum named Anon-thony in another story. I liked it, so I thought I'd keep it as a souvenir."
"Damn nice score if you ask me."
"So! Are shirts your fetish?" she asks.
"Oh! No. But that does look nice on you. Nice and comfy. Maybe with a streak of black in your hair, a few little piercings."
Fluttershy gasps and leans forward intently.
"It still wouldn't be my fetish, but it would sure be nice."
"Oh, honey suckle," Fluttershy says before leaping back in the chest. She leaps out once more wearing a large green sweater.
"Ger back in the fucking chest and don't come out until you're fucking presentable," you growl.
"What?" she says. "It's just a green hoodie."
"I've watched enough porn to know what that hoodie is for. It's all fun and games until you reveal your massive futa cock. Get back in the chest."
Fluttershy pouts before leaping back in the chest.
You know, Anon. You could probably just run away right now, and she would never notice.
...
You rise to your feet, when Fluttershy springs out once more, now wearing a thin, revealing pair of light green panties. She turns her rear to you and gently thrusts it at your face, in rhythm.
"Okay, no. I'm out. Fuck this."
"But! I have thongs! And spaghetti thongs! And g-strings! And- And!"
"Nope! I'm fucking done," you say, halfway out the door.
"Thank you for shopping Carousel-"
"Fuck off, Rarity," you shout back as the door closes behind you.
You sigh to yourself as you walk up your front porch. Fucking clothing. It's like there's a never ending supply of different types. You didn't even let her try coats. Oh god. You should give her a fur coat sometime and just watch her whimper and cry as the skins of dead animals cover her body. Wait, is that demented? Are you becoming a sociopath? Is Fluttershy slowly pushing you to the brink of insanity?
Oh well, it would still be kinda funny.
You throw open the door to your home, and hear a rustling upstairs.
Fuck. That's either a robber, or Fluttershy.
... Well, let's say you have it on good authority it's not a robber.
"God damnit, Flutterhorse. If I come upstairs and you're wearing my clothing."
You run up your stairs, two at a time, and burst into your bedroom. Sure enough, Fluttershy is standing in the center of your bedroom, wearing a lanky pair of jeans that hang WAY off her hooves and hide her cutie mark.
"I wanted to get in your pants... to see if this was your fetish."
A moment of silence fills the air as even the studio audience doesn't want to grace this with a response.
"Get out of my house," you say weakly.
"O-okay," she says trotting to the door.
"Pants off, please."
"A-are you coming onto me, Anon?" Fluttershy asks.
"GET MY FUCKING PANTS OFF. AND GET OUT OF MY GODDAMN HOUSE BEFORE I-"
Getting the picture, your pants are off in a flash. Erm, Off of Fluttershy, that is. Then the yellow horse flies out of your house in a blur. You move to your bed and sit down.
"You know, I wonder if I've just done this to Fluttershy... or if she was just naturally born this derpy."
Author's Note
I made references to NBD's Fluttershy Wants in Your Shirt because he's da bess.
I also included mild references to Glitter Grenade's Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants who was unfortunate enough to share a name with a story like this one.
So, now it can't be disputed that I am the orignal! Muahahahaha.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Fuck man. This sleeping shit has to get fixed. Like. Soon. It's absolute misery to keep pushing, day in, day out, with only an hour or two of sleep every night.
You stare at your alarm clock as it goes off for its sixth round of snoozing. Your eyes burn. Your muscles ache. Your bed is too warm, but the air around you is too cold. Your back hurts from the weird, contorted positions you've tried to get comfortable with. If you had to describe the current state of your being, it would likely be along the lines of "Fuck off man, please. I don't have the patience to make analogies today."
That said. There's work to do. You can't lie in bed. You can't let the sleep deprived thoughts and emotions win. So, you get out of bed, realizing that you're going to be late to work no matter what you do.
You decide to skip the shower for the third day in a row. It's not like you do anything to get sweaty. Or anything at all for that manner. And you don't have any hair, so what's the big deal? People won't even notice that the weird alien guy didn't shower. You can make up some bullshit about it being mating season, and then you'll have some extra attention.
Attention. Heh. Attention is nice, but it's not exactly what you need. Especially when your patience is thin. What you need is a bottle of melatonin and a weekend.
That said, once you have all of your shit on: clothes, backpack with today's lunch, smiling mask that stops people from asking questions; you open your front door.
But, of course, there's a yellow horse on the other side, with her hoof raised in midair. A tense moment fills the air. She gently whimpers.
You sigh, take a step back, and close the door.
Then, there are three gentle knocks on the door.
Then you reopen the fucking door.
"Why, hello good sir whom I've never met before!" says Fluttershy with a pink mustache. "I'm quite new to town and I am very sure that we have never met before! How do you do?"
"That mustache looks horrible, Fluttershy."
"I dare say! My name is Rontupleshy! I'm not familiar with this 'Fluttershy' mare of which you speak. But I'm sure she is a very pretty mare that is very kind to animals and is premium waifu material."
You pause, examining Fluttershy carefully. She's literally done nothing to sell this act other than wear a pink mustache. To be fair, it's probably made from her hair, but that's neither here nor there. Honestly, you don't care. You need to get to the Apples. Their patience only goes so far, and they'll stare at you all day if you dare to get there any later.
"Well, I must admit, sir. I admire your flair, but do me a fine service and get to the fucking point," you say.
FlutterRontuple- It's fucking Fluttershy, clears her throat and continues to speak in a lower voice.
"Well, seeing as we are complete strangers and I'm only in town for an evening, I would love to have some bloke run a train on my perfectly good asshole. That is, if that is said bloke's fetish."
"No, strangers aren't my fetish," you growl, stepping outside and walking down the path to work.
Then you stop, and turn around.
Fluttershy has her hoof on the doorknob of your home.
"Are you going to break another window if I lock the door?" you call back to Fluttershy.
"Y-yeah," she says, dropping all pretense of trying to not be herself.
"Well, put everything back where you found it."
On that note, you turn and head to work. Fucking Fluttershy. This shit is getting ridiculous.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You wake the fuck up from another night of very little sleep. So, naturally, it's 4am. And you know, for a fact, you won't be getting more sleep.
So you know what, how about we do something different today.
You rise from bed, do your Triple S(TM), shove a banana down your throat like you learned to ignore your gag reflex in college, and sprint out the door.
You've never done this before, and this seems new, exciting, and most of all, unique. Maybe this is it. This is that spark of genius that you need to break out the mundane cycle of fetish guesses. You're going to mess with Fluttershy. It'll be great.
The sun rises in the distance as you approach Fluttershy's cottage, allowing a glimmer to grace the morning dew on the grass. You take a deep breath, step up to her front porch and knock on her door three times.
You wait patiently as the yellow horse makes her appearance. When the door finally opens, you watch her peek her head out. Her mane is a mess of tangles and knots. Dark bags hang under her eyes. She wears a light blue bathrobe, and looks up at you with a sense of grogginess.
"Ugh. What, Anon? What do you want?"
"Oh! You know!" you say happily. "I'm just here for today's fetish guess! I figured you had one, so I'd come and let you fetish guess me."
Fluttershy looks up at you, and sighs. She places a hoof to her forehead and rubs her temple.
"Anon. No. This is dumb. Go home. You aren't going to get me to fetish guess this way. Go home."
Fluttershy closes the door in your face as you take a step back.
"Wait. What the shit? No!"
You knock on the door three more times. It swings open.
"Now just listen here, buster," Fluttershy says, holding a cup of hot cocoa in her hooves. "I'm not going to fetish guess you."
"Oh come on! Just one? It'll be so easy. And then I-"
You pause, staring down at the mare.
"Ooohhh! I get it. This is the reverse psychology thing. Well I got you this time, Fluttershy. Mindfucks aren't my fetish. Neither is reverse psychology or getting meta. So take THAT!"
You grab the door and pull it into your face and happily jog off.
Fluttershy stares at the door of her own home. She sits down, staring at the door as Angel Bunny hops beside her. Angel looks to the door, then back up to his owner.
"You're right, Angel Bunny. That was weird."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You wake up from a well rounded, restful sleep and instantly realize that something is very wrong. You actually got sleep? Holy shit. This could actually be really, really fucking bad.
See, if you're ever having a good time, that means that some bad shit is about to happen. That's the way your life works, shit is shitty, until it isn't, then it gets really shitty again until it's not quite as shit.
Shit that was a terrible line. Just. Uh. Forget that.
You peer around at your room, your blood coursing through your veins. You peek under your covers and find nopony else, nor an overly clingy yellow-pegasus. Taking a deep breath to calm your nerves, you pull off the covers and sit on the side of your bed, rubbing your forehead.
"I'm just over-worrying. Things are going to be fine."
Then, the phone by your bed rings. You reach to grab it and place the receiver to your ear. It isn't until after you say hello that you begin to realize that you hadn't normally had a phone there.
"Yes, uhm. Uh. Excuse me, is this champ?" says a meek voice on the other side of the phone.
Your jaw drops unconsciously. You slam the phone down and run into your bathroom for safety. You close and lock the door behind you. You run to your shower, pull back the curtains and GOD DAMN IT IT'S FLUTTERCENA.
You rip the door to your bathroom open, and swear you've walked into fucking wonderland. Except, Alice must have fuckin slammed a mountain dew and a bag of doritos, because there's little frogs of different colors hopping around the floor of your home, each wearing different faces and muttering things like 'feels bad man.' You run as fast as you can down the stairs and leap to the floor from the second to last step. Suddenly a cocophany of screams rings through your ears, screaming things like "OH BABY A TRIPLE."
Running to your kitchen, you run past your table, who is ensuring you that it is definitely a table.
"I am the table," the table says.
You sprint to your destination, desperately trying to run around thousand of little yellow, overall-clad cancer cells that scuttle across your floor. Ripping open your kitchen closet, you pull out your trusty shotgun and a handful of shells.
"Alright, bitches. I'm ALREADY done with this shit."
You take aim and pull the trigger at each of the yellow assholes that scuttle around your kitchen floor. Each time you hit one, a white marker illuminates their body, indicating you hit them. You decide that now is not the time to be asking questions. Now is the time for cleaning.
Then, suddenly, out of nowhere, you feel a punch to the side. You strafe, trying to find the source of the assault, but find nothing. You literally cannot see your assailant.
"You know what? No. Fuck this."
You raise your gun to the invisible figure in front of you.
"Fluttershy, I've had enough of your bullshit once and for all. This is it. I'm fucking ending this now."
Suddenly, Fluttershy becomes visible as a pair of sunglasses float from the ceiling of your home down to your eyes.
"GG no Re," you say.
Just as you pull the trigger, you feel as if time slows down. The back door to your kitchen slams open as a motherfucking gorilla leaps into your kitchen. With a mighty roar, he leaps in front of the yellow horse, taking the full force of the blast, then falls to the ground, still.
Silence fills the air as the world stops to look down at the twitching, cringing corpse in the center of your kitchen, bleeding out.
"No... Harambe..." Fluttershy mutters.
You drop the gun.
"Not like this," you whisper. "What have I done."
Fluttershy tears off her hat and moves to the gorilla's side cradling his head carefully. You move closer standing over him.
"Anon," Harambe says. "Come closer. Please."
Fluttershy looks up to you. You nod and kneel down beside Harambe as each of the Pepes feel bad man.
"This is all the feels," Fluttershy says, tears welling in her eyes. "I-I never meant for this to happen for the Dank Memes fetish guess..."
Harambe laughs, shaking his head at the yellow horse.
"Tits or GTFO, horse," Harambe says. "Anon, I need to tell you something."
You nod, kneeling down beside the glorious life that was taken from this world too soon.
"Anything," you whisper.
Harambe coughs then, looks up to you. There's a small glimmer in his eye as he whispers one final phrase.
"SOOOOOO $TONED FUCK MAN AW $HIT NIGGA HELLA MOTHA FUCKING 666 ODD FUTURE MAN BRO CHECK THIS OUT MY SWAG WITH THE WHAT WHOLE 666 420 $$$$ HOLLA HOLLA GET DOLLA SWED CASH FUCKING MARIJUANA CIGARETTES GANGSTA GANGSTA EAZY-E C.R.E.A.M. SO BAKED OFF OF THE BOBMARLEY GANJA 420 SHIT PURE OG KUUSSHHH LEGALIZE CRYSTAL WEED."
Author's Note
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
When you open your eyes, you stare up at the blank ceiling above you. The room is dark and silent. It's another morning in Equestria as it rolls towards it's colder winter months. Just like Earth, there's less sun during the winter months than in the summer months. You could make crazy inferences about how the planet has a tilt, and what that means in regards to their solar system and place in the universe. But you already spent way too much time trying to infer the relative size of their world to the world you used to live in, based on their units of measurement… So you've done enough thinking for one day.
In fact, you know what would be wonderful? Just... not thinking. With the amount of stress that's on your shoulders lately, you deserve to do something a little more simple. You deserve a break. Life isn't easy, and it only gets harder as time goes on. Mental health is just like physical health. If you neglect it, you get your own sickness. It's chronic, crippling, and goes by the name of "Being more of an asshole than usual."
You sit up and move to the edge of your bed, staring out your window to the dark outside. Maybe today would be a good day to call out of work. Maybe read a book. Cook some food. Clean your house. Do the things that make your life just a little more stressful. Take care of the things that make your life feel a little more disorderly.
In fact, you know what would be great? Some lists.
Rising to your feet, you throw on a robe and head downstairs. Starting a pot of coffee, you sit down at your kitchen table you begin to catalogue your thoughts.
What do you want?
Well, to feel happy again.
You pause as you scribble down the note and stare at it. That's a rather depressing thought. Let's break it down.
You want to feel more control over your life. You want to feel like you're accomplishing something. You want to feel like you're making a difference.
Alright, you have goals. You know what you want. So, Why DON'T you make this happen? Why DON'T you feel this way?
Well, you do the same things, day in, day out. You don't really get to meet new people. You hate that-
Three knocks at your door halt your process of mental cataloguing.
"God damnit, Fluttershy."
You throw down your pen, head to the door, and take a deep breath to compose yourself. This'll have to be something you put down on the list.
Opening the door, Fluttershy stands on the other side, smiling. The sun rises in the east, sending a molten mix of yellow, orange and red through the sky.
"Good Morning, Anon," she says happily. "How are you?"
You open your mouth to say something witty and rhetorical, but come up with nothing.
"Honestly, not great. However, I'm pushing through it. What's your guess?"
"Uh, actually, I don't really have a fetish guess today. More or less... uh. A more general question."
You lean against your doorframe and fold your arms.
"Alright, color me curious. What'cha got?"
"Well," Fluttershy says, kicking her hoof at your welcome mat as she ponders her words. "See, I realized something the other day. I've kept thinking about all these guesses as a matter of 'does Anon like boys' or 'does Anon like girls' but I realized there's another option I never considered before."
You take a moment to examine the mare in front of you as she pauses. She seems deeply troubled; like she's actually concerned she could have hurt you in some way. Isn't that adorable? She's gaining social awareness. Maybe she isn't all as bad as you thought.
"See, some ponies don't like mares or stallions. They still can love each other, but it's a different kind of love that isn't really based in sexuality. Asexuality is a real thing, and... well. I just wanted to ask if you were asexual. Because, if I keep doing all of these guesses and things... and you simply don't see love in that way... well, it's very rude of me. S-sorry."
You smile as you reach out a hand and ruffle Fluttershy's long pink mane. She looks up at you and gently smiles.
"Nah, it's nothing like that. I can certainly say I have wants and desires. But I appreciate where your heart is on the issue. Don't worry about that," you say.
"Oh, thank goodness," Fluttershy says happily. "Because, I just got this massive strap on, and-"
You slam the door in her face and turn back to your notepad on the table.
Pausing for a moment, you move back to the notepad and pick up your pen. With a quick scribble, you write down:
"I Want to Find Fluttershy's Good Side and get to know it."
Setting down the pen, you lightly smile as you grab a cup of freshly brewed coffee.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
When you open your eyes, you stare at the ceiling with a blank expression. Your limbs feel sore. Your throat feels empty. Your eyes feel heavy. The muscles in your arms and shoulders feel held down, as if a phantom clutched to them tightly, pulling you down. Breaking you down. Ripping you apart.
Grabbing your spare pillow, you pull it close to you and roll on your side. Closing your eyes, you pull the pillow close. You feel the thoughts running through your head, but refuse to give them meaning by saying them aloud.
You take a deep breath and let it out slowly.
Opening your eyes again, you attempt to take a second chance at the outside world. Looking out your window, you see that the sun refuses to come out to play today. Instead, he stays at home, locked up behind an overcast sky. With the frigid winter months upon you, the room is still dark, almost as if the day were just as dark as the night.
You ponder to yourself if today is a day worth going into the outside world. All that lies out there is stress. Hardship. Pain. Not that life is about avoiding pain... it's more... how much pain are you willing to suffer through today?
There are three soft knocks at the front door, but you refuse.
No, you can't do it today.
You can't get up. You can't get out of bed. You won't do it. The inner child within you, screaming out, thrashing against the floor in protest. You scold yourself. How childish you are. How pathetic you are. Get up. Answer the door.
But you can't. Everyone needs a chance to break once in awhile. You just... can't.
You hear the door click open from downstairs and you sigh to yourself. Fluttershy's here now. Just as you knew she would. She doesn't give up. She never will give up. If only you had that sort of determination.
You do, just not today. Take a deep breath, Anon. It gets better.
Her hoofsteps echo up the stairwell as you stare outside. She stops outside of your bedroom door, quiet. She quietly trots over to your bedside.
"Go away," you croak with a dry voice.
She remains silent as she sits on the bed beside you. Fluttershy places a hoof on your shoulder and gently caresses it. You close your eyes, as a feeling runs through your body like something warm, blood-like, is trickling through your torso.
"Fine. What's your guess?" you mutter.
Fluttershy hums, not moving from your bedside.
"No guess today," she says. "Just relax."
You look down to the yellowing-white of your pillow case and exhale a breath that feels like toxin.
"Would," she says quietly, before she pulls her hoof away. "Would you prefer if I left?"
You turn your head to the mare who sits on the bedside, looking down at you. She looks down at you, biting her lip and her eyes focused on your face. She holds her hooves together, fidgeting.
"I don't want to be alone," you murmur.
She nods as you look away from her in shame. How dare you relent to her? What is your problem? Are you aware of all the things she's done to you? All the ways she's invaded your privacy?
"Then, you won't," she says gently, placing a hoof back on your shoulder. "And I won't do anything you won't tell me to. Nopony has to know about taking this morning's guess off."
A slight smile creeps on the edges of your lips as you look back outside. You feel another shiver run through your body as you pull the pillow closer.
"Thanks," you whisper.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Sometimes, you just have a really bad feeling that sits in your gut. That feeling that the shoe is just about to drop and shit is going to get really bad, really fast.
Today is that day. Today is that feeling. Today, shit is gonna get weird. And when you open your eyes to the bright, beaming sun of another day in Equestria, it's all you can do to hold yourself together.
The good news, is that you know something really, really weird is going to happen. But, here's the rub: How are you going to stop it?
Should you get out of bed? Should you run for your life? Should you get a gun? Should you stay in the bathtub all day? Or is that just what Fluttershy wants you to do?
You rise out of bed, and to your luck, your body is still intact. You move to your closet to quickly throw on some clothes, and to your luck, it doesn't seem like your clothes have been tampered with or as if anything is missing.
One step at a time, Anon. Deep breaths. You wipe a bead of sweat from your forehead as you peek out the doorway of your bedroom. The stairs don't seem to be covered in lubricant, so you tip-toe downstairs. Nothing's on fire, so you move to the kitchen.
You grab a protein bar and suddenly have a fantastic idea. There is one unifying thing that brings every one of these chapters together. Three knocks on a door. Most of the time, your front door. She can't perform without a front door! Or at least, that seems to make sense at this very moment.
Moving to the front door after slamming that motha fucking li- erm- protein bar, you throw it open.
Suddenly, you are pulled forward by the waist onto the front yard by some sort of magic spell, and placed into a set of old fashioned stocks. You know, those weird locking mechanisms that lock over your neck and wrists to hold you in place. Except, these stocks are locked in to the ground. So now, you're locked, ass up, and vulnerable.
"This can't be good," you whisper.
Then, Fluttershy trots forward within your vision, smiling widely.
"Silly Anon! I don't need to knock on the door to do fetish guesses! Besides! I have a bunch for you today!"
"If you lay a single fucking finger on me, bitch. I'm going to end you."
"I don't have fingers, Anon," Fluttershy says happily. "So consider it done! First! I wanted to know if Futa is your fetish?"
You glare at her angrily.
"No, of course it isn't that's stupid. Didn't you already do that?"
"That's not the point, Anon. I'm really bad at managing my list of fetishes. I mean, I did clothes and tentacles twice too," she says whipping out a large sheet of parchment from behind her wing. "But trust me, it's important for this. So! Are changelings your fetish?"
As she says this, a tall black alicorn begins to walk into your view. Except, she seems... odd. Her eyes are green, her hooves, wings... and even her horn is filled with holes. And her wings seem almost translucent. Oh my God, it's Queen Chrysalis. And lo' and behold. She has... what could only be described as a massive futa cock.
"I'm sure you can see where this is going, Anonymous," hisses the Changeling in a proud, seductive tone.
"No, I don't," you mutter. "But I sure hope this is where it ends...."
"Nope!" Fluttershy says happily. "So, there's this thing called Oviposition!"
You pause, letting a silence hang in the air. The two mares look at you happily.
"W-what is Oviposition?" you ask.
Queen Chrysalis giggles as she moves out of sight once more. Your eyes dart around, trying to find some sort of help.
"Well, I'm happy you asked, Anon," says Fluttershy.
Tears run down your face as your muscles ache. You feel broken, used, abused. You look up to the yellow pegasus in front of you, who smiles widely.
The black changeling McFucks-Off into the sky, her wings flittering at the speed of light.
"So, I suppose that brings me to the next guess: How is Male Impregnation?" Fluttershy asks.
"I fucking hate you, so goddamn much. When I get out of this, I'm going to ruin you."
"Well, the good news is that this phase won't last long. Because... um," she says, looking to the side. "Well, you'll only be pregnant for about a week before you lay all the eggs. So, is egg-laying your fetish."
"How fucking dare you use me like this?!" you shout at the pegasus.
"Changelings are an endangered species now, Anon. We need to have some way to preserve the species."
"What, because now they're all fucking technicolored and bullshit?" you growl. "They're not endangered. They are just as bullshit as the rest of you ponies."
"O-oh. You knew that?" She says, her eyes darting side to side. "W-well. Um. This is awkward then, huh?"
You look to the ground, looking at the puddle of green slime that forms under you from your used and abused body.
"No. Egg-laying isn't my fucking fetish. So are we fucking done?" you mutter. "Can I go to the fucking hospital and get this shit removed?"
"U-uhm. No. I-if I lose that... I have to pay back the fifty bits to Chrysalis... So, uhm. Is being whored out your fetish?"
And so, you ended up giving birth to something along the lines of 50 different changeling children that flew away the instant they hatched. Fucking ungrateful kids. But, at least you can say you're a father or something. And you never have to go through any of this bullshit ever again.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You lie on your kitchen table, not giving a single goddamned fuck. Like not one. You realize you're on your kitchen table. However, you don't care. It's one of those days. Moreover, you have no coffee. The coffee withdrawal is a real thing. The world feels empty. And slow. You feel the need to do everything but have the energy to do nothing.
Except, then there's three gentle knocks at your front door.
This creates quite the moral conundrum. See, you're exhausted. In addition, you have no desire to deal with Fluttershy's shit today. However, recent events have made you aware that other horses could exist on the other side of your front door. Does it say something about you that you don't want to leave your home? You can totally leave. You just don't want to. Or need to. So staying inside just seems reasonable.
Holy shit it's lonely here.
Perhaps it's that thought that pushes you to rise to your feet. Not on the floor. On the kitchen table. Because fuck sense. You step down, using a chair, and then approach your front door slowly. The hair on the back of your neck stands on end as you consider the possibilities for what could happen when you open the door.
Yet, knowing your life, whatever you prepare for isn't going to help you in the slightest. Is that pessimistic? You need to be more optimistic, Anon. You never know, it could be Princess Cadance on the other side of the door, or something.
You throw open the door, and Fluttershy stands there, smiling back at you. You weren't sure what you expected.
"Good Morning, Anon!" she says as cheerfully as ever. "I have a very special guess today."
She turns, and shows off a round cage, containing a bright white cockatoo inside, who peers at you with great prejudice.
"I don't fuck birds," you say to Fluttershy.
Fluttershy snickers and shakes her head.
"No, Anon!" the stupid yellow horse cheerfully replies. "I was wondering if feeling important got you in the mood! Pet ownership is one of the best ways to feel important and to give your life more meaning! Would you like to take Mango here off my hands?"
"You have a bird called Mango?" you say flatly, looking directly at the reader's point of view. "I Wish you weren't being so Crystal clear about your reference here."
"W-what reference?" the pegasus asks. "I'm just saying he lost one of his Anzel-" she stutters before continuing. "Axles. Kinda like you. My bad. Slip of the tongue."
You groan at how unoriginal and uninspired this particular guess is before taking the bird with the round cage off of her back and setting the cage on the ground. You open the door on the cage and the bird hops out of the cage and flaps about your home before resting on your shoulder.
"Dawww. She already likes you!" Fluttershy says cheerfully.
"Yeah, but one thing, Fluttershy," you say, reaching a finger out to the bird, to transplant her over to a lamp before continuing. "I thought you would have known better, being a pet owner and all."
Fluttershy pauses, taking a step back.
"Y-yes, Anon?"
"Birds hate round corners."
You leap into the air and stomp down on the cage. The bird flares up its feathers and opens it's mouth before screeching loud enough to let half of Equestria know.
"FUCKING FUCKIN FUCK FUCKIN FUCK FUCKIGN ROUND CORNERS AHGK FUCK SHIT FUCKIN FUCKING ROUND ROU- FUCK"
"THAT'S RIGHT BIRD," you scream back at Mango. "YOU FUCKIN SAY IT. SAY IT TO FLUTTERSHY."
"FUCKING FUCK BIRD FUCKING FLUTTERSHY FUCK FUCKING ROUND CORNERS FUCK"
You slam the door in Fluttershy's face as the bird viciously bangs it's head. Mango flies through the air and lands on your shoulder.
"I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship, birb."
"FUCK."
"You said it."
Author's Note
No ragats
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You move to your coffee pot, one of your truest friends in the hardest of times. The bringer of mornings, the maker of hot water for tea in stressful evenings. Much like the toaster, your coffee maker has never ceased to provide you a constant stream of happiness, and liquid refreshment. And also deeply complicates how this world has electricity, but no noticeable infrastructure for electricity like power plants or wires, but that's more on the writer as a failure for world building rather than a reflection of you as a character. So deep breaths. You're fine. You are a good person.
Grabbing a mug, you pour some of that black gold into a mug and give it a strong whiff. Today you have a new blend of beans, roasted with subtle hints of artificial white chocolate raspberry flavors. As terrible as it is for you, you can't help but sip the drink and feel like you're drinking a small chocolate bar, that was mixed with coffee. Probably because it's coffee made to taste like a chocolate bar.
There are three gentle knocks at your front door, and you're instantly knocked out of happy-fun-time land.
Mug in hand, you move to the front door, trying to come up with a new, fresh, and unique insult for today's guess.
Sure enough, on the other side of the door is that fucking horse. Fluttershy. Flutterbutterstutters sits patiently on your doormat, looking up at you with a happy, heartwarming greeting, like the doormat she is.
"Good Morning, Anon," she says with her normal soothing voice. Her ears perk slightly as she rises to her hooves. "How are-"
"Get the fuck on with it, you fucking wank," you say, trying to put on some sort of cockney accent, but settling for somewhere between a southern-belle and a dying Australian. "Whatsa cheeky-breeki cunt like you got for me today?"
Fluttershy pauses, staring up at you like you murdered a bunny in her face.
"I think you just offended five different ethnicities in two sentences, Anon."
"Yeah, well," you say, growling. "I gotta do something to keep this shit fresh. What do you want."
"Well, I'm not sure if you noticed," she says turning her head to display her right ear. "I have a new accessory."
You pause, staring at the little object dangling from her ear. You recognize it. Not from Equestria, but from Earth. It's a fucking cattle tag. Like the plastic tags they attach to animal's ears so they can be returned to their owner when they get lost.
"I even made it out for you, Anon," she says quietly, a deep red flushing on her cheeks. "I-it's pretty kinky. I-it means you own me."
"Fluttershy," you say quietly. "Slavery is not my fetish."
"Slavery!" Fluttershy exclaims. "OH! nononono! This isn't slavery! W-well, I mean it can be, uhm. but-- W-when you tag a pony, it's. Uhm. Like putting a collar on a dog."
"Wait, are you saying that I've tagged you?"
"Yes," she says happily. "And if you have just a moment, I have a nice fresh tag for you sitting here in my bag, let me just--"
You slam the door in her face, and then lock the door.
Fuck man, who would have thought this tagging shit would have escalated so quickly? You know what? Fuck this. It's time for more coffee.
Author's Note
I kinda had to.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You close the door to your home after a long day. Extra hours at the office are a fucking bitch. You aren't physically exhausted. Hell, your muscles ache from being in one place all day long. But your mind is just wrecked. You don't want to think. You don't want to think about thinking. You don't want to think about trying not to think, you think, but you aren't sure. Bottom line is you're tired.
You throw off your coat and let it lie on a kitchen table chair before heading your way upstairs. You know what? Fuck cooking. Fuck eating. Fuck showering, jerking off, shitting, shitposting or fucking. That's right. Fuck fucking. Tonight is a night of going to bed early. Because tomorrow will probably be just as shit as today and you need to be ready for that shit. You walk into your room, close the bedroom door because it makes you feel safer, and quickly cast off the throes of the establishment. The world becomes aware of your particulars. In other words, you're nakies.
Tossing open the bed sheets, you snuggle yourself into that soft embrace of covers. It's almost like the blankets are holding you tightly, whispering to you that everything is going to be okay and that somebody loves you.
Shit, Anon, that was fucking dark. Go to sleep.
You close your eyes and patiently wait for sleep to come, somehow managing to stave off the thoughts about how when you were 7, there was that fucking Kyle kid in class. Kyle was a fucking asshole. He never picked you for his team in baseball, even though you tried to be nice to him and would give him your gummies at lunch. Then he punched you in the nose once and laughed at you while you bled, and you cried like a little girl. Then you kinda were the asshole later on when his dad died and you didn't sign your name on the 'sorry for your loss' card.
Woah, holy shit, Anon. Go the fuck to sleep. You are literally in another world. Fuck Kyle.
Except, then there was that one time when you applied to that frat and Kyle was there and-
"One sheep!" you say aloud to the room. "Two sheep! Three sleep!"
Soon enough, sleep manages to come to you, and you find yourself enclosed in a bright white space. The world feels fuzzy at the edges and things are calm. Things are peaceful. You open your eyes, and smile to yourself.
This is one of the best parts of Equestria. The lucid dreams. While lucid dreams are normally reserved for really shitty horror premises, in Equestria, you get to become god of your own little domain for a little while. With a wave of your hands, you find yourself in a large field of white flowers.
"Now then," you mutter with a smile. "Now for some... companionship."
With another toss of your hand, a tall dark blue Alicorn with a long, flowing, starry mane steps into the meadow.
You look down at your hand with some surprise.
"Well, I mean. This works. I was trying for the pink one, but sure."
The Princess of the Night scans the meadow herself, and then turns her head to you. A light smile forms on her lips as she trots forward towards you. You can't help but stare as her hips sway with each of her steps. You bite your bottom lip and casually shift your footing to hide the growing erection in your pants. Your dream pants. Because you have clothes in your dreams.
However, hopefully, not for long.
"Why hello, Anonymous," says the gentle tone of Princess Luna. "You realize this isn't the real me, correct?"
You take a step back and pause.
"No. Wait a minute. That’s the sort of thing a real Luna would say. I-I don't want to make this awkward and fuck a real Princess."
"Oh, Anon. You really think I would play games with somepony in their sleep? Especially in such a pleasurable dream?"
"OKAY!" you scream. "TOO REAL!"
You snap your fingers, and the deep blue princess is replaced with her sister. She smiles, before casting you a coy look. As Celestia opens her mouth, a different voice comes out.
"On the other hand, I suppose I do owe a few debts. Forgive me, Anonymous," Luna's voice says as the Princess disappears into thin air.
You turn around, trying to get away from the Princess, only to collide headfirst into a door. Then, the familiar three knocks.
"No. Fucking. Way."
You pull the door open, and sure enough, standing on some sort of solid ground in an invisible black void, is Fluttershy.
"Are wet dreams your fetish?"
You open your mouth, and then close the door tightly. Snapping your fingers, nothing happens. You open the door, and Fluttershy still stands there.
"There's a long, detailed explanation for this," says the mare. "But the long story short is that this is my dream now."
When you open your eyes, you groan as if you didn't get a single ounce of sleep. You reach down in the covers and feel a sticky mess all around your midsection.
"Oh, mother fucker," you murmur.
You sit up in bed, fully naked, and can't help but feel a throbbing headache. You reach your head up to your ear and feel a weird plastic tag near your right ear.
"OH MOTHER FUCKER."
As you trace the object with your fingers, you find it's easily unbuttonable, and now it just looks like you have gauges. Honestly. That could have gone much worse. However, you aren't sure you're going to feel comfortable going to sleep for quite awhile. Mostly so you can stay away from fucking Fluttershy.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You sit at your computer, scrolling through the pony web. It's one of the small pleasures you allow yourself in this world. It's a guilty pleasure, mind you, because in all reality, it's a cardboard box with crayon drawings all over it, but none of the ponies have the balls to deal with whatever psychotic break is involved with the guilty pleasure. You get to happily move a stolen chalkboard eraser around like a mouse, gently giggle to yourself, and stare at the cardboard box screen.
Don't think about it too hard.
Instead, think about that gorgeous German Shepard on screen. Wouldn't that be great? A really nice pet? It's not like you have a bird or anything. You think. Maybe. Probably not. It would be wonderful to have some sort of living creature to come home to that doesn't have any cares or worries. Whose stresses and negative feelings or impressions don't rub off onto you, and instead are focused on more important things like food or walks or belly rubs. Life would be easier if there were more belly rubs. Actually that's called spa time.
Life would be easier if there were more free belly rubs.
Then, there's those three knocks at the door, and you can't help but feel mild irritation for being snapped out of your internet browsing session. You rise to your feet and approach the door. Tossing the door off the hinges and into your home, you look down at the yellow hooved mammal in front of you.
"What the flutter do you want, Fuckershy?"
"Well, somepony is in a mood today," Fluttershy says quietly, staring up in fear at the human who stands nearly twice her height and non-chalantly threw a door off it's hinges.
"Let's get this over with," you groan. "I have to figure out what sort of pet I want."
Fluttershy's eyes light up and her wings flare almost instantly at your words.
"And I'm going to figure it out from a horse that doesn't fuck her own animals," you add as an afterthought.
"Oh, come on," she says, deflating. "It was one time, Anon. Wolfie was sick and needed release."
"Wolfie?" you growl, staring down at the mare on the spot. "What kind of stupid fucking name is that? Do you come up with your own fucking nick names for your animals?"
"S-sometimes?" she says, shying away. "Do you h-have something against that name, I d-don't-"
"Do you just add some sort cutesy name to the end of an animal's name and all of a sudden that's their name? How about 'doggie' the dog? or 'kitty' the cat. Or Turtey the Tortoise?"
"Y-you leave Tank's brother out of this," Fluttershy shoots back, flaring her wings in aggression. "Are we going to do the normal fetish guess, or are you just going to berate me for the job I do that makes me money while you whisper to your cardboard box?"
You stand in silence, staring down at the pony with furrowed brows and an angered expression. You reach up a hand to try and retort, then scratch the back of your neck.
"Damn, Flutters. That was some fire."
She smiles, and then folds her wings once more.
"I have some moments," she says, sitting down. "Now then, are you ready for today's guess?"
"Sure, I suppose," you say, watching her pull out a small envelope.
"Here," she says, holding the parcel up to you.
You look down at the strange envelope, then back to her. With a shrug, you rip open the outer casing, crumple the envelope, then toss it in her face. The waste boops the pegasai's nose as you begin to look at the contents of the mail. It seems to be... a card. With pink and hearts and oh my god this is a fucking holiday themed card.
I don't have the strength to say what I want to in words. When I'm with you, my words melt together like a bunch of things that melt when they're hot.
You open the card to see the inside.
I'd like to do something special with you on Hearts and Hooves Day. I'm really open-minded about whatever you want to do, but I wouldn't mind if it also involved sex. At some point. The sex is optional. Sort of. Will you be my special somepony?'
Then at the bottom, there's a crudely drawn picture of a stick figure having sex with a pony stick figure with Fluttershy's hairdo.
You look from the card back down to the blushing pony.
"I-I made it myself," she says.
"I can tell."
"S-so?" she asks, rubbing her hooves together and ears folding over.
You hand the card back down.
With a sigh, you look back to your computer box, then back down to the pony.
"I'd rather look at porn from my imaginary computer box than make you My Special Somepony," you say.
Then, you pick your front door up off your couch and lean it against the doorframe. Then, you return to your computer box to navigate to some kinky anime waifus to jerk off to. All in all, a pretty normal day.
Author's Note
Now requesting all of your best mspaint drawings of Fluttershy's Card.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Today, you've blown your own mind. You've broken new ground. You've exceeded all of your expectations and have decided to attempt something new. Today, you're outside.
Now don't panic, it's fine. You aren't dying. You went outside completely consensually. You simply thought that some fresh air would do you some good. After all, it is a wonderful day outside. The birds are singing. There's a gentle breeze that cuts the heat of the sun just right. It's perfect T-shirt and shorts weather.
It seems like you aren't alone in your idea either. As you walk along the path around Ponyville's lake, you watch as ponies both big and small walk past you in either direction. You aren't necessarily quick to strike up conversation with any of them, but you take a bit of a guilty pleasure in eavesdropping on their conversations. In fact, you almost make it a game.
Here's how it works, you listen into the short conversation they're having. Then, after they're gone, you make a story about what led them to that conversation, and how it played out after.
In fact, here's a few ponies now.
You watch as two little fillies walk down the road towards you, lost in their own conversation. You recognize them as Rarity and Applejack's little sisters. You do your best not to stare at them like you're planning on abducting them, but try to hone in on their conversation.
"But I don't understand why there's a cucumber under the mattress though," says the white filly.
"Maybe Rarity was feeling snacky in bed, but she doesn't want to gain weight. So, she has a cucumber under her mattress for when..."
Then the fillies pass out of earshot behind you.
Well, Anon. Get your mind out of the fucking gutter. Maybe Applejack's sister is right. Maybe Rarity just gets extremely hungry at night with the lights off. After she uses that cucumber for other things.
You snicker to yourself as you continue on, until you feel a slight tug at your right pant leg. You look down in slight surprise, and then sigh in disappointment. You weren't sure what you expected, but it's that goddamn yellow pegasus.
"Anon, can you stop for a second?" Fluttershy asks.
"Why?"
"It's really important."
"Why?"
"Trust me."
You stop for a moment, as Fluttershy takes two stones from the side of the path. Then, she clinks them together three times.
"Did you just fucking knock three times on stones?"
"Don't you feel a little more at ease? Like some sort of greeting ritual is out of the way?" she asks.
You sigh, placing your hand on your head.
"No, I feel irritated. Like you've created a Pavlovian response in me to be pissed off when someone knocks."
"Pavlov?" Fluttershy asks. "That sounds like a good name for a puppy."
"You have no idea," you say, continuing down the path.
"W-wait!" Fluttershy says, trotting forward to keep up with you. "I-I have a guess for today though, D-daddy!"
You freeze in your tracks. Fluttershy stops in front of you. A mare and her colt walk by, staring at you two.
"Did you just call me, Daddy?" you ask in deadpan.
"I-is me being your little Princess your fetish?"
The mare pushes her son forward to walk away quicker.
"This is fucking disgusting," you growl. Without a need to see where this goes, you power walk onward. Fluttershy gallops beside you in order to keep up.
"But Daddy! I-I've been a bad girl. A-and I incest that you punish me!"
"NO. STOP. THIS IS NOT OKAY. THIS IS CANCER," you shout at her, trying to lose the pegasus.
"D-don't you love your little Princess?"
"DIE IN A FIRE, FLUTTERSHY."
Therefore, you broke into a run, and Fluttershy tripped and fell on her face into the lake. Now half of Ponyville thinks you're a freak. Again. Great. See, this is what you get for going outside. Fuck going outside.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Aww yes. Today is a good day. You're sitting at your kitchen table. You have some motha fuckin candles lit. You have the lights dimmed. You have a bottle of wine opened. Tonight, you're treating yourself. It took forever to get. Mostly because shipping from the Griffon empire is sketchy as shit, but you have it. A nice, 12 ounce ribeye, pan-seared to perfection.
You lift your fork and knife, relishing the moment. It's been a long, long time since you've been able to enjoy a wonderful piece of meat. It's the middle of the night. All the windows are closed. To the outside world, you should be asleep. Which means, there shouldn't be any disturbances.
Stabbing your fork into the beef, you suddenly hear a single knock on your door. You pause, looking up to the wooden framed entrance to your home. That's odd. A knock? This late at night? Plus who freakin' knocks just once. That's just absurd. It must be the wind, or an animal or some shit.
You press your knife into the flesh in front of you, cutting deep into the surface. You feel your mouth water as you see the reddish juices rush out of the meat.
Then, another knock at the door. Singular. Quick. Loud and defined.
You freeze, looking at the front door to your home. That wasn't imagined. That was definitely something. Something is on the other side of your door, knocking. You set down your fork, but keep the knife in your hand. It's one in the morning. Why is someone, or something, at your door? You rise from your seat, careful not to make a sound from within your home.
Trying to silence the sound of your footsteps, you move across the floor of your home to the front door. It's at times like these you'd kill for a peephole. You step in front of your door, and you watch the doorknob jiggle directly in front of you. A chill runs down your spine as you hold your breath.
Then, a final knock.
You whip the door open, knife at the ready.
"Good evening, Anon!" Fluttershy says happily.
"FLUTTERSHY, I'M GOING TO FUCKING END YOU."
She stands completely still, looking up at you.
"Well, are you?" she asks quietly.
Suddenly, you have performance anxiety.
"I could, but I don't want to," you say, tossing the knife on a table beside you. "Let's get this over with. What do you want?"
"I wanted to know if heart-pumping, life or death situations are your fetish. You know, like, the adrenaline rush?" she asks.
"Uh, no. That's dumb. You're dumb. You're losing your touch, Fluttershy."'
"Oh, really?" she asks, raising an eyebrow. "You think I'm losing my touch?"
Fluttershy takes a step forward, the devilish look on her face illuminated by the candle light in your home. You take a step back.
"D-did I say that?" you say. "W-what I meant to say was-"
"You really love your food, don't you?" she continues. "I bet you wouldn't mind being food, wouldn't you? I bet you'd love that. Wouldn't you?"
"W-what?" you ask. "That's cannibalism..."
Fluttershy snickers to herself.
"Not unless it's the same species, Anon. See, I bet I could shrink you down to the size... of, say, a berry. Then eat you up in one bite. Would that get you off? Feeling yourself slide down my throat? Being digested by the acid in my stomach?"
Fluttershy snags the knife you put down as you back up.
"Okay, I get the picture, Flutters. We don't have to-"
"Or... maybe we can skip the whole... shrinking thing. I can just cut off your dick... and eat it right in front of you. Bite by bite. Like a candy bar."
You gulp down the saliva in your mouth as you feel yourself back against a wall.
"Or maybe being physically eaten isn't your fetish... No. You're a smart one. I bet you're into something more spiritual. I bet I could find a way to suck out your very soul, and have it as a midnight snack. Do you doubt I could?"
You shake your head.
A smile curls on her lips.
"I thought so."
She tosses the knife aside, and then walks out of your home. You slide down the wall and hold yourself in your arms as a draft from the open front door extinguishes the candlelight.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You have to take the good with the bad. You know, they say life is like a box of chocolates. Because nobody fucking likes coconut cream, but you're sad enough to eat it anyway.
That's what today is like. You slipped getting out of the shower. You burnt your toast. You spilled your coffee on the book you rented from Twilight, so there goes THAT attempt at making friends. Since you don't want to be disemboweled by a Princess today, you've decided that today is a day for doing nothing. You're going to stay inside and do jack squat.
That is, until you hear those three knocks that make you hate life. You know? This is bullshit. Why can't she take one day off. One fucking day?! It's not like she has as million fucking animals to take care of. No. She devotes her life to coming to your door to ask if things are your fetish. It doesn't change! It doesn't break new ground?! You have all but just stopped listening to her now. When she stops speaking, you say no and shut the door. It makes things easier, and you don't have to think of all the demented shit she comes up with to try and do the horizontal tango.
Then, she knocks again, ever patient, ever determined. On one hand, if you rise from the couch you're sitting on right now, you're willingly acknowledging that you may be exposed to some shit that will make your day worse. On the other hand, if you sit here and don't answer, she will stand at the door and continue knocking until she actually passes out on your porch of dehydration and exhaustion. You ended up paying the medical bills after that fiasco.
"God fucking dammit," you mutter to yourself, rising to your feet.
You cross the room to the front door and throw it open wide.
"What the flying fuck do you want, horse?"
What a fucking surprise, Fluttershy is there, staring up at you like demented perverted child. But not like the ones you've read in hot doujins and stuff. More like the ones that you see in real life that make you feel uncomfortable because they have questions and they ask you because their parents say they aren't old enough to know yet. So now, you're in the shitty place of having to say 'go ask your parents,' but you know how kids are.
"Hi Anon!" she says happily, just like every other day. You swear to god, she's like one of those fucking yellow smiley faces in supermarkets. You just want to punch the shit out of how happy they are. Fuck you, smiley face. How dare you be happy? How dare you try to make me happy? What if I want to be a miserable asshole all the time? Crying at night isn't that bad.
"Go away."
"I love you too, Anon," the dopey pegasus says. "And today I have a really exciting guess. See, I realized the perfect fetish for you."
You sigh in resignation and place a hand over your face.
"Go on."
"See, normally I want to get in YOUR pants. So, today-" she says turning around. "I put your pants in me!"
You pause, and look down to Fluttershy. Lo' and behold, a pair of your jeans has been stuffed knee deep into her flooter cooter. You can see visible stains where her mare juices are dripping down the legs.
"You are the most disgusting creature I've seen in my life," you say in deadpan. "This is not my fetish."
"O-oh. Okay," she says, taking the pants out of her pussy and leaving them on your front porch. "You can have these back then."
"I don't want those back."
Fluttershy looks down at the pants, then looks back up to you.
"You just want me to wear pants that were inside you, don't you?" you ask.
She nods her head gently, then looks to the ground in embarrassment. You walk inside your house, grabbing a small bottle of lighter fluid and a box of matches. Return to your front door, douse the pants in front of her, strike a match, then light the pants on fire."
"And nothing of value was lost," you say aloud to her. "Now go home."
You threaten to kick her, which seemed like a good idea at the time. However, you accidentally manage to kick the flaming pants.
The pants fly through the air and land in Fluttershy's mane, also lighting it aflame. Your eyes widen in horror, then you slam the door as you hear the mare begin to scream outside.
Well shit man. Good thing she'll probably come back as good as new tomorrow, cause that was fucked up, man. But, you can take one good note from all of this. Out of that terrible encounter, you didn't have to lie. Which means, if there's one thing you can take away from today.
You aren't a liar, liar, pants on fire.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You know what fucking sucks? All of the openings to chapters in this story.
Wait, let's try that again.
You know what fucking sucks? Winter. A little heat isn't so bad. If you access to some air conditioning, some nice cool water to stay hydrated, and you don't live in a desert where the heat is completely unbearable, you're usually fine. But, by choosing not to live in an area of the world that could quite literally melt your skin, you get the other side of the spectrum. Then, you get two to three months a year where you can become a living statue.
Trust me, it's not as cool as it sounds.
So, today you find yourself on your couch, with the heater running, wearing a hoodie, sweat pants, two layers of socks, and still bundled up in a blanket with arms. You have to call it a blanket with arms, because when you asked Rarity for a snuggie, she slapped you and asked what you took her for. For some reason, you're pretty sure you deserved it.
Since it's too goddamn cold to go out and do anything, you're flipping through channels trying to decide if you should watch 'The Ponies Court' or the rerun of 'Unsolved Mysteries of Equestria'. What sucked about Unsolved Mysteries is that Twilight ended up hearing about the show and solved every mystery. That took the fun out of all the episodes, so the show got cancelled. But was inexplicitly renewed for another season after Twilight became a Princess. Go figure.
Once you've settled on 'The Ponies Court', you hear three knocks at your front door.
You know who it is. That's not the question. The real question is how in a hillbilly homosexual's hell did she get here? You're pretty sure you saw a bird freeze in mid flight outside, fall from the sky, and shatter like a vase. It was fucking brutal. Moreover, really fucking metal.
Rising from your cocoon of warmth, you head to your front door and open it wide. The freezing cold bursts into your home, and you instantly realize this is a bad idea.
"F-f-fluttershy," you say, the cold flowing through you like a laxative. "What the actual fuck?"
The yellow filly wears a simple green scarf and a pair of pink earmuffs as her breath leaves trails of vapor in the cold. Then the vapor freezes to ice, falls to the ground and shatters. It's fucking cold.
Without a word, the mare reaches into her saddlebag and pulls out a strange red, cylindrical tank.
"What the fuck is that?" you ask.
"Let's see," she says to herself. "P is for pull the pin."
She pulls the pin out of the object and tosses it behind her.
"What the fuck is that?!" you ask in increasing desperation.
"A is for aim the nozzle," she whispers, pulling a nozzle off of the back of the cylinder and points it at you.
"IS THAT A MOTHER FUCKING FIRE EXTINGUISHER?"
"S is for shoot," she says happily.
And then, a strong torrent of white icy material shoots out the end of the nozzle and hits you. The cold shoots through your clothes as if it wasn't even there.
"WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT-- FUCKING STOP!" you scream, holding your hands out to stop the spray. Which was a bad idea. Your hands quickly begin to go numb under the pressure of the ice.
"S is for sweep," she concludes, moving the nozzle to aim up and down your body.
Finally done with playing nice, you quickly kick the fire extinguisher out of her hooves and wipe the ice off your face. That's fucking it. It's fucking cold enough as it is. Now your body is numb from the cold. You probably have frostbite from being in your own goddamn home.
"WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK DID YOU FUCKING DO?"
"Did you just use the f-bomb three times in a sentence?"
"I'LL BURY YOUR BODY IN THREE DIFFERENT PLACES IF YOU DON'T EXPLAIN WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!"
"Oh!" she says happily. "I wanted to ask! Is ice play your fetish?"
You stare down at her, feeling the burning fury of a writer who witnessed the burning of the library of Alexandria.
"You have 5 seconds to run before I murder you."
The mare screams at the top of her lungs, spreads her wings, and then flutters off.
You slam the door shut, and sigh to yourself. Maybe you can take a nice lukewarm bath to try and get warm again. Then, gradually up the water to something really nice and cozy. Hell, you can treat yourself with a nice bath bomb or some shit.
However, one thing's for sure, that Fluttershy bitch can go fuck herself. If one thing is for sure, that filly is as cold as ice.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
So, this story doesn't 'neatly' fit into this series. But. I'm going to consider an interesting interpretation.
If Pony Fluttershy = Wacky and Silly... then EQG Fluttershy is...
Well, I hope you enjoy
Just Once
"It was a normal day at Canterlot High. I was quiet and in the back as usual. I wanted you to notice me. Maybe it would have been my shyness. Maybe you would have liked my green skirt or long pink hair. Or maybe you would have noticed my light blue eyes, peering at you from the back of the classroom. But I wanted to know what it was like to look deep into your eyes. Even if it was just once.
"I quietly followed you around the halls as you went from class to class, scurrying like a squirrel out of sight. I wanted to know so much about you. I wanted to hear your voice. But I was too scared to approach you. I kept fighting myself over and over. Go talk to him. No, don't do it. Fight your shyness, Fluttershy. I debated with myself over and over...
"In the end... I thought I would give up.
"I walked through the halls teary eyed... knowing you wouldn't notice me. I wasn't anything special to you. But, then I tripped in the halls and spilled my books all over the floor. That was the last straw for me...
"After beating myself up all day for not mustering up the courage to confront you, I just cried. I cried like a baby in the crowded high school halls. I didn't care who saw me. They still laugh at me for it. But none of it matters. Because, you stopped and helped me. You put your hand on my shoulders and smiled. Then... I got to look into your beautiful eyes. My chest felt tight, my stomach was filled with butterflies and my mind went blank. My stutter acted up and I didn't know what to say. But that's when you told me your name... Anon.
"Such a handsome name for a handsome young man. You helped me gather my books and that’s when you remembered we were in the same math class. All I could do was smile, because you actually did notice me. I giggled and nodded. Or maybe I squeaked. I'm fuzzy on that detail. I get so shy around people sometimes...
"But after you left, and I got to see deep into your eyes, I had a new question. I wanted to know what it would have felt like for you to hold my hand. Even if it was just once.
"After the first day, I noticed nobody sat by you at lunch, so I sat by you instead of the girls. Rainbow teased me for having a boyfriend after a few days, and I denied it through blushed cheeks. Although. I knew what I wanted most. I wanted to be closer to you so badly. Nobody seemed to want to be your friend. I knew I could be there for you. I sat down by you and you smiled. I got to see deep into your eyes and feel that same rush again. All I could do is dorkily smile back. We talked and I probably giggled way too much. I was putty in your hands. Or... at least... I wanted to be in your hands.
"I... may have lied and said I was doing bad at math. But you offered to help tutor me after school. At your house! I blushed so hard... but I interrupted you to say yes. That is... if you wanted to.
"And you did.
"So I met you outside the front of school. We walked to your house and you talked about the music you liked and I talked about animals. I talked about animals a lot. Probably a little too much. But you just smiled... and said it was cute.
"You called me cute.
"So I bumped my hand against yours... And you grabbed it. The rush filled me again when you grabbed it. I blushed and looked away, but squeezed your hand. But... then I had a new question. I wanted to know what it was like to be held in your arms. Even if it was just once.
"When we got to your house, your parents weren't home. We went up to your room, and we sat on the floor. I had never been in a boy's room before. It was so... Normal. There were band posters on the wall... A laptop computer... It was exactly what Rainbow's would look like. But less blue. And rainbows. You grabbed your bag and sat on the floor. I sat on the floor too, but sat on my side, so my skirt wasn't open. I was just so nervous to be in your room.
"You got out your book and opened to today's homework and began teaching me the lesson I already knew. I asked you to repeat certain parts just because I liked the way you said it. Your parents got home... and your Dad came up to say hi. When he got to the door, he was just quiet. You nervously introduced me to him and I could barely look him in the eye. I was so embarrassed and nervous... I shouldn't have been though... Your Dad just smiled and gave you a thumbs up.
"He mentioned he would tell your Mother to make dinner for an extra. My voice went dry. I wanted to say no... but it was already done. I was staying for dinner. We began to work on the problems together. I already had them solved in my head. Having a friend like Twilight help you through classes pays off over time. But after I messed it up enough, you sat directly next to me and help me walk through the problem step by step. Feeling you so close to me gave me goosebumps. I smiled so wide, feeling your hand on mine. Once I did one of the harder problems, I faked some pride and whispered 'Yay! I did it!'
"You looked at me with such pride. And I looked deep into your eyes and felt that rush. I felt your hand on top of mine and my body went completely numb. I slowly leaned into you. You slowly leaned into me. Then your parents called for dinner. The moment was shattered. I cursed under my breath. Rarity would have been appalled. At least, you didn't hear me. We went downstairs and we had dinner with your parents.
"Your family told me all about where you used to live, which made me feel much more comfortable. If I had to say too much about myself... I probably would have died in the chair I sat in. I hate being the center of attention. But... they asked if I was your girlfriend. You blushed and looked away, muttering a few words.
"I answered yes.
"You looked up at me in shock and I simply smiled back at you. But your parents were very, very nice... and let us go back to your room after dinner. You asked if I meant what I said. And I said yes. That's when it happened. You wrapped your arms around me. It was like someone injected me with some sort of high-intensity drug. The room felt like it was spinning. Time felt like it stopped. Nothing else mattered. I felt your soft heartbeat from your chest. I breathed in your delicate scent. I feel your gaze upon me. I leaned in closer to you... You leaned in closer to me. Then I tasted your lips.
"Your morphine lips.
"I tasted your kiss... and there was one thing that I knew. This wasn't something I could live with just once. In that moment, I never thought anything could happen to ruin what we had. Everything was special. Everything was amazing. I had you all to myself.
"Then she ruined everything.
"That she-devil, Sunset, came and stole you away from me. It's HER fault. I cried for days when you told me you didn't want to be a couple anymore. Days. Anon. Then, the Fall Formal was announced. I just... I just knew you would be going with... -her-. My friends told me I shouldn't go. That it would just hurt me more. But I couldn't. I had to go. There was one more question. One last thing I needed to know. Even if it was just once.
"So here we are Anon... You may be asleep right now... but the pill will wear off in a little bit. I wonder what you're dreaming about. Are you dreaming of me? I hope so... Because you are in every single one of mine... Except, this time, you won't run away. And I won't wake up.
"I hope these ropes are strong enough to hold you.
"This janitor's closet is on the far end of the school, so nobody will bother us... Not even .her. So tonight... I get my answer to my final question. I want to know what it's like to feel you inside of me. Even if it's just once."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
There's three gentle knocks at your door that grabs your attention. Shit. That was fast. I mean, give a man some foreplay, Flutters. I didn't even get to do a deep inner monologue or some shit. Oh well. Let's get this show on the road.
You walk to your front door, and open it wide.
"Goddamn you're early. The timing is all messed up for this chapter now," you say to her.
Fluttershy glares up at you in frustration.
"I just wanna get this one over with. It's bad enough this is a request that was already done by someone else," says the mare, walking into your home.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" you ask. "Are you... breaking the fourth wall?"
"That's how much I don't care today," Fluttershy says. "Now are you going to follow me to the bathroom, or what?"
You remain frozen in place as Fluttershy walks to the stairs.
"Did you hear me?" she asks.
"Yeah, I did. And that is what terrifies me."
"Yeah, the guess is toilet stuff."
"How about I just say no. Like, right now."
"See," she says. "That's not funny then. We need to make this shit funny. And the guess is if you're into being potty trained. And what sucks is that this is already done by a different writer. So if we just get this overwith, and move on, we can complete this minimum heckling."
"Waitwaitwait," you say, leaning against the door frame. "No, we can make this different and interesting. We have to. Or else this is going to be a complete waste of chapter. We're fetish experts, we can turn this shit around."
"Alright," Fluttershy says, moving to your kitchen table and sitting down.
You move to your coffee pot, grab two cups of coffee, hand one to her, then place two pieces of paper and two pencils down.
"Alright, so the theme is potty stuff. And we don't want to have you be the one who teaches me."
"That's right," Fluttershy says.
She places the pencil in her mouth and draws a very complex mathematical equation on the paper in front of her. She holds it up to you to see. Toilet, plus stick figure human, plus stick figure Fluttershy equals question mark.
"Then the task is set," you say, stroking an imaginary beard. "How about, we human train the toilet."
Fluttershy stares up at you with a frown on her face.
"Oh my Celestia. That was bad, and I'm in love with you. I feel like I just became mildly less attracted to you from that."
"I'll have to remember that," you mutter.
"What?"
"Nothing. Okay. Different idea. What if the fetish guess is me, teaching you to be potty trained."
Fluttershy pauses, drawing stars and arrows on her complex equation.
"That's just crazy enough to work, Anon. Quick, to the bathroom!"
With great haste, the two of you run up to the bathroom and take your places.
"Alright, ready?" you ask, gently closing the bathroom door between you and the pony.
"Ready," she says happily.
You close the door between you two, then hear three gentle knocks. You open the door once more.
"Okay, Fluttershy, what the fuck do you want?"
"Good Morning, Anon!" she says happily. "Is potty training me your fetish?"
"That is the single handedly most retarded thing I've heard in months."
Fluttershy trots into your bathroom without another word.
"Hey! Get the fuck out of my bathroom!" you scream at her.
"Oh, silly Anon!" she giggles. "How will you know if you're into it or not if you don't try."
Fluttershy lifts the seat of your toilet and sits down happily, looking at you.
"Now tell me to go poop," Fluttershy says.
"Fucking. No. This is disgusting."
"Tell me to poop."
"Fucking no."
"TELL ME TO POOP, ANON!"
"FINE TAKE A DUMP."
And then, without a moment to spare, Fluttershy ruins your bathroom for years to come. But at least today's shitty fetish is done.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
It's another fucking day in Equestria and you didn't get any fucking sleep so hell with it. You walk to your front door and rip it open as you watch Fluttershy walk up the fucking path.
"A-anon!" she says. "You're early."
"I'm a combination of pissed off, tired, depressed, and lethargic. I'm fucking done. Get to today's guess."
Fluttershy reaches into her bag and pulls out a small book.
"W-well, I wrote you some erotic stories to see if that's your fetish, do you mind if I read some to you? It's in second person?"
"Second person?" you say aloud. "That sounds like the worst fucking idea ever. Burn the book."
"Cool, I'll begin where the action gets interesting."
Then, sure enough, Fluttershy opens the book and begins to read. You take a deep breath and try to find your happy place.
"It seems like The Great and Powerful Trixie has you exactly where she wants you now Anonymous."
You idly sip on your drink as you sit in a booth at Sugarcube Corner. What the fuck is going on? Trixie kinda just saw you from across the room and sprinted towards you. She should probably learn that trying to run with a cape isn't a great idea. Then again, maybe the floor has good rates for facial surgery.
"Uh. What's up Trixie?"
"The Great and Powerful Trixie would like to invite her favorite loyal follower back to Trixie's Large and Luxurious Trailer.(tm)"
You look at the mare curiously.
"Why the fuck did you trademark your trailer?"
Trixie looks at you perplexedly.
"For that matter, why did you even SAY you- actually never mind. I don't care."
Trixie's face scrunches with exasperation.
"Do you want to come to my trailer or not!"
"Uh. I dunno. What do you wanna do?"
She leans up close to you and traces your chest with a hoof.
"Anything that The Gentle and Kind Trixie could do to please her loyal follower."
You scratch your head for a moment.
"Well that's ambiguous. I mean, I only saw one of your shows for one thing. Next, how am I supposed to know the kinds of things you'd want to do unless you tell me? I mean. Fuck. Talk about double standards. What if I choose something really crazy?"
Trixie giggles softly to herself.
"Trixie likes crazy things... perhaps we should go somewhere more private..."
You look around at the small bakery to see several ponies staring at Trixie being up in your junk.
"I'd be cool with that. I hope your trailer isn't too far-"
A bright flash of blue light temporarily blinds you and you rub your eyes out of instinct.
"Damnit. Away. Cause I hate walking."
You open your eyes to find you sitting on a undersized worn bed in a small wooden room filled with various magic props and fireworks.
"Your wish is my command Anonymous..."
The blue mare walks towards you slowly, biting her bottom lip.
"So. Okay then. What are we-"
Oh god. You are such a fucking dumbass. The bed. The private time. Doing ANYTHING. Why didn't you see it before? She wants the D.
"Woah. Okay Trixie. I don't really like ponies that way. I really appreciate the offer and everything and you are beautiful, I swear. I just don't want to do those things with ponies."
Trixie giggles to herself and leaps on top of you, pinning you on the bed.
"Then you are in luck Anonymous... Trixie knows all forms of transformation spells..."
Her horn glows a glorious bright blue and soon Trixie slowly begins to become slightly transparent. As her body becomes more and more transparent, she slowly begins to lose a defined form and looks almost like a gel. She brings a hoof up to your lips and her slime leaves a trail across your face.
"What the..."
Her slimy hoof slowly makes her way down your shirt and unbuttons them with on the way down. How the fuck does slime even work?
"You are a... slime... pony?"
Trixie giggles to herself.
"Oh yes...and that's not all I can do... just wait."
The blue unicorn slowly begins to meld her way down into your pants and you feel her liquid-like body hug the entirety of your rapidly growing member and sack. Blue gel envelops your pants button and zipper and you watch them become magically undone. Your pants and underwear make their way off of your body, outside of your control. Trixie's translucent blue mass twists and turns on your hot monkey dock and gently massages your balls. Honestly, this feels fuckin awesome.
You lean backwards on the bed and watch as the blue mass begins to envelop more of your lover half. The warm slime slowly creeps it's way towards your back door. Well, there's a first time for everything right?
The warm, slippery gel sends shock waves of pleasure throughout your body. Then you feel the slime rub against your back entrance, causing you to gasp. Trixie's face slowly shifts it's way to face you.
"Do you like what The Great and Powerful Trixie can do for you Anon?"
Her words send vibrations throughout her form and massage your manhood. Speechlessly, you nod to the unicorn.
"Mmm. You taste soo good Anon."
You feel her gel slowly enter you from behind and rub inside of you.
"Every part of you is... amazing..."
Sweat begins to form on your body as pleasure consumes you. You begin to thrust upward out of instinct.
"In fact..."
You feel a strong pressure surround your head and you feel warmth slowly begin to funnel inside of your member. The heat begins to trail down through your sack and into your groin. Tha'ts when you notice Trixie's blue goo slowly becoming thinner and thinner.
"Wait. No. NO. NONONO. YOU CAN'T GO IN THERE."
You feel like your groin is going to burst as the rest of Trixie's body funnels inside of you. The warmth begins to spread all throughout your body, and each of your individual muscles begin to spasm with pleasure. Your sense of violation is overwhelmed by the sheer mass of pleasure that Trixie is creating by tightening and relaxing your muscles repeatedly. Heat slowly travels up your throat and you feel the goo enter your mouth and dance with your tongue. You feel your body reach climax, but nothing leaves your body. A girlish giggle leaves your mouth.
"Not yet. I'm keeping these beauties to myself."
The massage inside of your privates intensifies as a new vibration sends sensations through your prostate. Oh god. That doesn't feel so good.
"Don't you do it Anonymous. That will force Trixie out of you."
Your body has different plans in mind. The muscles around your bowels begin to spasm and blue goo mixed with brown chunks begin to seep from your asshole. Your ass feels like a fucking water faucet cranked to the max. Trixie's see-through body begins to reform on the floor with semen and shit floating inside of her. Once your body has finished evacuating her, she makes her way back over to you.
"Are you ready for round two?"
After the array of sensations that just ravaged you, there is only one answer that accurately portrays your emotions.
"Fuck. Yes."
Trixie's eyes become half lidded as she brings her mouth to your lips and one of her internal brown chunks makes it's way to your mouth.
"Fuck. This is so weird. Stop. Just stop."
"Stop? But I only just began!" exclaims Fluttershy. "Isn't this hot?"
"N-no more... please."
Fluttershy closes her manuscript and throws it at the doormat.
"If you don't like the story, just tell me, Anon."
"Well, maybe it's just that one. Let's try another. Just jump to the middle and start reading."
The pegasus takes another set from a stack of papers and opens it to the middle. Fluttershy clears her throat before beginning.
"Celestia takes a massive dump onto your huge schlong."
"Nope. That's it. I'm done."
You slam the door in nutterbutter's face, and decide to make yourself a bleach martini.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
A crazy ass rainstorm has you running for shelter.
"God damn it, Rainbow. If you just did your DAMN job right then we wouldn't have this issue."
Most of the houses and stores are locked or closed for the evening, leaving you no where to shelter yourself from the high winds and thunder. A light flickers on in the distance. Could it be? You sprint head on to the source of the light in the dark, cold night. Sugarcube Corner.
Thank you, Jesus. Erm. Actually, Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Jesus? Whatever. You run inside and slam the door behind you.
"Oh god... Thanks Pinkie. It's hell out there."
"O-oh... N-no problem. Every p-pony is my friend, and I want to see them smile."
You turn to what is obviously Fluttershy's voice. For some reason beyond your comprehension, she is wearing a massive costume that looks like Pinkie Pie.
"Fluttershy. What are you doing."
"O-oh no. I think y-you have me m-mistaken Nonny. I'm Pinkie Pie! The Ponyville p-party pony."
She pops a small party-popper and blows on a kazoo. Then takes a deep breath.
"Woohoo!"
You sit dumbfounded at what you have just witnessed.
"Fluttershy... roleplay isn't my fetish."
"Shoot! Can you at least help me get out of this? It's really chafing my flank."
"Uh, yeah sure I guess."
"The zipper is in the back."
You head to the back of the costume and look for the zipper. The costume is completely ruined by marejuice in the back.
"On second though. No. I'll risk getting hit by a tornado."
You storm out of the shop and get hit by a park bench.
Author's Note
Thank god I never did a series like this.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Another boring ass day at school as a young Anon. The teacher sure knows how to drag things out and make things boring. Seriously, who is ever going to need to learn how to write short stories in the future? And it's only been the first 10 minutes of the day. School is stupid. You sit in class glaring at nothing, bored out of your mind. Suddenly, you are nudged in the side.
Looking to your right, you see that weird yellow one trying to pass you a note in class. She's blushing like mad.
"What?"
She holds out a note across the aisle. Ugh. You take it from her and unwrap it.
Let's see...
"Anon... would you..."
What the fudge?! Your pupils dilate and your heart drops.
"Anon. Is there something you would like to share to the class?"
The teacher snatches the note from your hands and walks to the front of the room.
"Anon. I think you are a sexy dirty monkey. Would you please put your monkey ding dong into my no-no hole. Please circle No, Maybe once or a Whole lot. Love Fluttershy."
The class goes silent. Fluttershy's face is pure red. Your face gives the desk a high-five.
"Well. We will speak about this after class, Anon."
You groan to yourself.
"Pssst."
You look to your right to see the pegasus staring at you.
"Uhm, What's your answer?"
This is going to be a long day.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Take a deep breath in through your nose, then let it exit gently through your mouth. It's another day in Equestria, and you are fine. You will be okay. There's a lot of difficult things going on in your life right now, but that's okay. You'll push through them, because you are strong. Just take it one day at a time. Everything will work itself out with time.
You open your eyes, pull yourself out of bed, and rub the sleep-salt from your eyes. You quickly toss on a shirt and pair of jeans before heading downstairs. You cast a disdainful glance at a stack of very important papers you're trying not to think about. You'll try to sift through at least five of them today. That's the goal. But first, you need to refresh yourself. You need to take care of yourself.
You get out a blender, because you have that now. After tossing in a banana, a few berries, some orange juice, oats, and a dollop of peanut butter, you set it to mix and prep the coffee maker.
After you have some healthy food, then you can approach the stressful things. You need to take a moment for yourself to take care of yourself. Just clear your mind, and lose yourself for a moment.
Then, there's three gentle knocks on your front door.
"Shit," you mutter under your breath.
That's it. That's the agitator. When things don't go to plan, everything begins to go wrong. You can't act like you don't expect the yellow menace to show up every morning, but what she can try to do, or has done, or could do, is still a terrifying prospect. You never know when her guesses might cause you to break your leg, and force your health insurance to go up. Or could suddenly set your home aflame, forcing you to find a new home, again. On the bright side, you've learned to live with as few of possessions as possible, but on the other hand... houses are fucking expensive, man.
You head to the door and open it wide.
"Anon!" she says excitedly, hip-hopping on her little hooves. "I finally figured it out. I'm so excited. I think I finally did it."
"You said that yesterday," you groan.
"But today I really did it!"
"Last week. Whatever. Just get it over with."
Fluttershy raises a hoof to you, which shows a bright red bracelet attached to it.
"Is waiting until marriage your fetish?" she asks.
You pause, looking down at the mare.
"Wait, what?" you ask. "Like, abstinance?"
"Yeah! I took a vow to wait until marriage. So if you wanna tap this piece of tail, you're gonna need to put a ring on it."
You raise a finger before lowering your hand. You open your mouth to say something, but stop yourself.
"What do you think?" she asks.
"I'm... genuinely surprised," you reply. "This is kinda... I dunno. More in line with your character. I guess. It's just... weird. Like, who are you and what have you done with the real Fluttershy?"
Fluttershy drags a hoof against the ground, blushing to herself.
"D-does that mean I finally got it?" she asks.
"Oh hell no," you reply. "Marrying someone without knowing how good they are in bed kinda sounds like a nightmare. Like. Could you imagine if you had a partner that just laid and bed and said 'Okay, it is time,' then forced you to do all the work? Sex is a natural, healthy part of relationships. I mean, I can appreate the sentiment for not wanting to transfer STD's, but there's nothing wrong with sex before marriage."
Fluttershy pauses, staring at you.
"So, it's not abstinance?" she asks.
"Nope," you state matter of factly.
"Oh thank God," she says, tossing the bracelet into the bushes. "I was actually scared for a moment."
"Yeah, no worries."
"See ya tomorrow, Anon!" she says to you, turning on the spot and heading back down your walk way.
"Please don't!" you call back, which never seems to work.
You head back inside, close the door, and realize you've left the blender on for 5 minutes. After grabbing a cup of coffee and pouring out your smoothie, you take a deep breath and pull the first bill off the top of the stack.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Today, our scene starts not in a warm comfy bed, but in a cold, tiled room. A heartbeat monitor ticks softly above the headboard. The sun slowly sets outside the window.
And in a strange turn of events, you aren't the one in the hospital bed. Instead, it's Fluttershy.
For some reason, Fluttershy decided to place you as her sole benefactor to everything she owns in her will. Which, I mean, is pretty cool. But you learned this because the hospital called you.
You sit in a chair beside Fluttershy's bed, looking down into your hands. And nopony knows when she'll wake up.
Then, suddenly, she shudders. Her eyes peek open as you straighten your posture. She turns to you, gently breathing, her eyes half-lidded.
"Hey, Anon."
"Hey," you reply.
She smiles and closes her eyes.
"I guess this is it, huh?" Fluttershy asks.
"Don't say that," you say. "We still have so much shitposting to do."
She shakes her head slowly, then sighs.
"Anon, can I ask you one last thing?"
"No, necrophilia isn't my fetish."
"GOSH DARNIT," she screams, tossing all of the monitors off of her and trotting out of the hospital.
Hey, what can you say? Fucking called it.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Fluttershy Wins - Abuse 1
"Do you think we should get one or two, Anon?"
"Probably two. Better to err on the side of caution, right?"
"I completely agree," answers the timid yellow pegasus.
It's another Saturday afternoon at the market for you and your marefriend. After being in Ponyville for about of year, it was only natural that you started to get lonely. So, a shy little pegasus caught your eye. Shy was definitely your type. So, you asked her to a coffee and the rest was history.
Mostly because she ran and hid after you asking and got stuck somewhere. But after standing there and talking to her once authorities arrived to help get her unstuck… That's when she knew she liked you. So now, almost a year later, the two of you are neigh inseparable.
"Oooh! We better get some more carrots for Angel!"
"I thought we had a bunch at home, hon."
"B-but what if I get sick! Then who would get him more if we ran out!"
"Me."
"Oh... right. S-sorry. I'm still not used to us living together."
"You can say that again." you say with a smile.
"Well what's next on our list?" Fluttershy asks while examining the contents of your grocery bags.
"Hmmm... I think that's about it."
"Alright then. Let's head back home then."
You instinctively grab the bags and walk back to Flutter- erm. Your cottage.
"What do you think we should do tonight Anon?" she asks you as you get out of earshot of the market.
"Uhm. I'm not sure. There was that book that Twilight wanted me to read... I could read it to you if you would like."
"You aren't reading that book." Fluttershy says forcefully.
"Oh... Alright." you answer, not pressing the point and dropping the topic.
"Do you have any OTHER ideas Anon?" she asks again.
A small daring tone fills her voice. You wouldn't dare to look at her facial expression.
"N-no. I don't have any ideas."
"Really?" she asks curiously. "Are you sure you aren't thinking about something else I would disapprove of?"
"No Flutter-"
"Anon. You know better than to call me that in public."
"No, master. I wouldn't dare."
The cottage, your prison, slowly comes into view off in the distance.
"Good. Then when we get home, you will begin to cook, then patiently await my orders."
You try to suppress a sigh. If she heard, she might not allow you to eat tonight. Again.
How did you manage to get into this situation? It probably was when you began to spend some time with Twilight. Purely as friends. Then again, anyone who knew Twilight even a little bit knew that she had a massive crush on you. That was when Fluttershy's possessiveness began to show through. She couldn't bear the thought of sharing you with anypony.
So, thats when you two had a civil talk about it. Or at least, that what everypony else thought happened.
She has this way of looking at you. This stare. It renders you helpless. Now you can't dare defy her. You've tried running. You've tried fighting. You've tried hiding. Nothing works.
She finds you... and punishes you. If you don't keep up appearances...
You shudder at the thought.
Even though your hands are full, you open the door for her, like you've been trained. Instinctively, you head to the kitchen, to prepare for the evening's meal. You unpack the groceries and begin to prepare one of her favorite meals. That's when you notice you forgot the apples. The pit of your stomach clenches. This is it. This is how it ends. Your voice shakes as you call for her
"S-sweetheart?"
"What, Anon?"
"I-I think I might have forgot something."
"I know."
You begin to shake slightly. She's already thinking of a punishment. Quickly, you try to prepare another meal in it's place. You know it won't be the same, but it might make the punishment not as bad. There is a light knock on the door. You nearly sprint to answer it. Ripping open the door, you see a surprised Twilight Sparkle.
"Oh. Uh. Hi Anon."
"Hey. Uhm. Are you looking for Fluttershy?"
"No not really. Um. I was just stopping by to say hi and see if you are enjoying that book I loaned you."
You look inside and see the hard stare of two cyan eyes.
"I-I haven't gotten to it yet. I'm afraid you have to leave now though. I'm sorry."
Twilight puts her hoof in front of the door, stopping you from closing it.
"Anon. Is she controlling you? I've had this vibe for a long time that you've been avoiding me... is it because of her? Is she forcing you to do this?"
She looks up at you questioningly, with worried eyes.
"Just tell me Anon... I'm worried about you."
You look down at her, wishing to explain everything. Wishing to tell her what she does to you. All you can do is mouth out 'help'. She nods and you close the door lightly.
"Anon. Would you come back here please?"
You close your eyes, turn on the spot, and know that whatever is ahead of you may be worse than if you didn't eat at all.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You turn around, holding a hand on the doorknob.
You could run. You could take off right here and right now. You could hide and never have to deal with her again.
"Anon," you hear her voice call from the kitchen.
Your foot moves forward as you dance like a rat toward the pied piper. Your muscles tremble. Your stomach turns. The air feels cold against the back of your neck, but a drip of sweat runs down your finger.
Upon entering the kitchen, your eyes immediately move to the yellow pony sitting at the table in front of you.
"What was that?" she asks.
"Oh! Nothing," you answer happily. "Just Twilight, asking about that-"
"I thought we talked about this," she interrupts, rising to her hooves.
"It was just a passing thing and then she left, it wasn't that big of a-"
Then her eyes move to you, and you feel as if the blazing sear of a hot branding iron press against the square of your back. You feel yourself tense as her eyes burrow into you. The stare. Your breath comes out in shallow bursts.
"You knew what you did. And I know what you did."
She moves to the stove, where tonight's dinner simmers. She takes an oven mitt and covers a hoof as she grabs the pan.
Twilight gallops through town, looking from building to building. She knows that something isn't right. Something is very, very wrong.
"Where are they? I need one of the girls to help me if I'm going to get to the bottom of this."
Fluttershy takes the pan off of the stove and takes a deep whiff of the sizzling contents. She unfolds her wings, then lifts into the air with a single flap.
Twilight barges into Carousel Boutique and immediately sets her sights on Rarity.
"Twilight, whatever is wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost," her fashionista friend asks, turning away from her work.
You try to move, you try to lift a finger in defense, but your body is held still by her gaze. You grit your teeth as you feel the heat of the pan near your right temple.
"I think something's wrong with Fluttershy and Anon, Rarity," Twilight says. "Anon doesn't seem like himself lately."
Rarity scoffs and shakes her mane.
"Darling, is this still about that crush you had on him?" Rarity asks, turning back to her work. "I know it hurts to be turned down, love. But, it's been long enough. He chose Fluttershy, not you. Can't you just be happy for him?"
"I don't think so. I think... something terrible is going on."
"Like, what?"
"I... I'm not sure," Twilight mutters. "But it isn't good."
"Twilight, Fluttershy wouldn't even hurt a fly. And if she did, she would probably cry and apologize for it. Do you remember the last time we had a fly funeral when Rainbow accidentally swallowed a fly?"
"That's not what-"
"Darling," Rarity says, moving towards Twilight. "I'm sure it's just a figment of your imagination. It's fine. Everypony gets jealous sometimes. It's normal. But you can't go around making claims about things that could never happen."
The metal strikes your temple, and you can feel your skin sizzle at the touch. Your whole face turns as food, and oil fly towards your eyes and across your clothes. You're knocked off balance as you feel time moving in slow motion. A trickle of blood dribbles down the side of your face as you connect with the floor, lying still. You try not to make a sound, fearing what would happen for resisting your punishment.
"Now," Fluttershy says, tossing the pan on the stove. "What have we learned?"
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Twilight Wins - Abuse End
"Rarity, he muttered to me 'Help,'" Twilight exclaims to her friend. "Something is going on. I know it. Now are you going to come help me or not?"
The white unicorn pauses, studying her friend.
"Really?" she says, her ears twitching. "That certainly does sound odd. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to go check things out."
"Then, let's go. I have a bad feeling about this whole ordeal," Twilight says, turning to exit the store, her friend following behind.
You place a hand on the floor and slowly rise to your feet.
"What did we learn?" Fluttershy says.
"Don't talk to the other ponies."
"What was that?"
"Don't talk to the other ponies, master."
"Good boy," Fluttershy says happily, trotting around you and pressing a hoof against the blistering burns on your face. You whince as you feel something solid move under the skin, as if something internal fractured. "Now look what you made me do. I hurt your handsome face... This is all your fault, you know that?"
"This was my fault," you mutter.
"Then, apologize."
"I'm sorry, master," you stutter, a tear burning against your flesh as it rolls down your cheek. You rise to your feet. "I'll clean up this mess I made."
"Yes, you will," Fluttershy says. "And in the mean time, I'll do some damage control."
As Rarity and Twilight trot towards Fluttershy's cottage, they slow when they notice the front door opening. Out pops the head of dear old Fluttershy, a smile drawn on her face and humming a simple tune as she closes the door behind her.
"Well, here we are," Rarity says. "Now what?"
"Just follow my lead. We aren't sure what we are looking for, so just act natural."
"Fair, but if nothing is going on, I'll be the first to say 'I told you so.'"
"Hi girls!" chimes the voice of Fluttershy as she grows near. "Isn't it just a lovely day?"
"Hey Fluttershy," Twilight says in a sing-song voice. "It certainly is! Rarity and I were just on a little stroll to enjoy it. Would you like to join us? We were in the neighborhood, and figured we'd extend the invitation."
Fluttershy shakes her head while raising a hoof.
"I really appreciate it girls, but I'm afraid Anon and I are going to be having dinner soon."
"You know!" Rarity chimes in. "I haven't had a thing to eat all day. Fluttershy, I hope I'm not being rude, but would you mind if we joined you for dinner? It's such a long walk back to Ponyville, and I'd love the company, compared to being in my work room all day."
"Oooh," Fluttershy says in a disappointed tone. "See, tonight is sort of... a date night, for Anon and I. It's a very special dinner. I-I hope it wouldn't be too selfish of me to refuse. I've been looking forward to this all week."
"Oh not at all," Rarity says, looking to Twilight. "I'd sure hate to interrupt something like a date night that I'm sure the two of you have been working very hard on."
"Oh yes!" Fluttershy says as Twilight frowns to Rarity. "It's always stressful to plan a date night. You always want to make sure everything is perfect and-"
"You know what? I'm sorry for this," Twilight says.
Then with a great flash of purple energy, the purple pony disappears.
You do your best to mop up the puddles of hot oil on the ground, but it leaves a bright shine of grease on the tile floor. After it looks like you've done more harm than good to the finish, you pick up the food particles then turn to the door. With a bright flash of purple light, you turn to find Twilight Sparkle standing inside Fluttershy's home. She turns and locks the door, then sighs.
"I hope she'll forgive me for this, I have to-" But Twilight stops mid-sentence as she turns to you. You quickly wipe the dripping blood from your nose and look away. "Oh my Celestia, Anon! What happened?"
"You need to go," you say. "It'll just get worse."
"No, I'm not letting this happen."
Twilight trots towards you, lays a hoof on you, then with another great flash of light, the world around you vanishes.
The next months flew by. Twilight helped you file a suit against Fluttershy, and Authorities were able to trace the burned skin from your face to burned skin on the frying pan. It was open/shut assault and abduction. Fluttershy was placed on probationary activity, given that she only leave her home for Official Friendship Business for the Princess of Frienship. A permanent restaining order was placed on her for Anon. And in the mean time, you stayed in Twilight's Home. Living with Twilight Sparkle was weird, but you began to grow used to it.
When you received the settlement money you decide it's time to finally regain your life. To take control. To get your life back once more. So now she sits in front of you, serving you a nice tall stack of pancakes.
"Hey Twilight, can we talk about something?"
"Of course, Anon," she says, levitating a stack of food to Spike's place for when he woke up. "What's up?"
"Well, it's just. It's been a few months now, since everything settled down. I really appreciate what you've done for me and everything, but I think it's about that time that I head on my way and begin to rebuild."
Twilight pauses in place.
"You're going to go... out there?"
"Yeah," you say. "Well, I mean. While I appreciate everything you've done for me, I mean, except for court stuff, I haven't even left this place. I'd love to begin to rebuild my life again. Ya know?"
Twilight turns quietly, then moves toward you.
"Anon, you can't go out there. You'll just get hurt again."
"I, what?" you say, rising to your feet.
"Anon, I can't allow you to put yourself in a place that you can be hurt again. Stay here. With me. I'll take care of you. I promise."
"Uh, Twilight?" You say, taking a step back. "You're beginning to worry me."
"I'm worried about you all the time," Twilight says. "I love you, Anon."
Her horn glows, and you feel your left ankle give out. You fall and hit the corner of your head on the dining room table.
"I'll just have to show you some tough love. Don't worry, Anon," Twilight purrs, moving closer to you. "I'll take care of you. You won't need anypony else."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You know what bugs me? That horrible feeling you get when you can tell you're about to get sick. Your body becomes all achey, you're tired, distractable, you can't fully invest yourself into anything. And worse, you want to do -everything- because you want to look like a responsible adult.
Well, most of the time you want to look like a responsible adult.
But no. Instead the proper thing to do is to lie in bed, get some sleep, and be dead to society. Screw if there any holidays around. Screw if your friends want to do that really awesome thing you wanted to do. You are stuck being a sicky-mcsickpants and have no time for fun.
That's where you find yourself today, as you lie in bed, rolled in your covers as a sick burrito. Your eyes are closed as you desperately try to sleep in the middle of the day, but your mind wanders back to that one really stupid thing that you did that you still kick yourself for, but literally only you remember.
You hear the three gentle knocks at the door downstairs, and decide that you shouldn't answer it. You know what, fuck this. This is dumb. You're sick. You're not going to get up or work on your sick day. You're going to continue to lie in bed and wonder if your Dad left the family because of that really big crush you had on your uncle.
Then, you hear the door open downstairs.
Shit.
A soft pitter patter of hooves clamor up the stairs as you look to your closed bedroom door.
Then, three gentle knocks.
Ugh. She came halfway. You might as well indulge her.
You roll out of your burrito and mosey your way to your bedroom door, you open the door wide and look down to the little yellow pegasus with a bucket.
'Why does she have a bucket?' you wonder as she tosses the contents of bucket toward you. 'Why does she have a bucket full of bugs in my-'
Then, you unleash a girly scream that would pierce the ears of even the mightiest woo girls.
"GET THESE FUCKING BUGS OFF ME ME. FUCKING SPIDERS. FUCKING BEETLES. FUCKING COCKROACHES. OH MY GOD FLUTTERSHY-"
"Is Formicophila your fet-"
"I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU. I WILL MURDER EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR," you shout, patting the bugs off your body. They bite and scurry all over your form as they panic. A house centipede crawls down your back as tears fall from your eyes. "I HATE YOU SO MUCH YOU FUCKING HORSE. THIS IS THE WORST THING YOU'VE EVER DONE."
You sprint downstairs, grab a gallon of gasoline as spiders scurry toward you. You pour the gasoline all over your kitchen and living room, grab a match and light the gas as you sprint out of your home.
Your entire home goes up in flames as Fluttershy leaps out of a window and takes to the air. You finally pat off the final ant from your hair, before taking a deep breath. You watch as your house continues to burn in the distance.
One of these days, you really need to get these fetish guesses to stop. This is getting really out of hand. Maybe you should just fuck the poor horse. Maybe if you indulge her insects, then she'll finally stop guessing.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
It's a beautiful day in Equestria, especially in 4/4 time. You leap out of your bed, feeling alive and full of energy. You quickly throw on your clothes and toss open the window as a swell of horns brings an enchanting melody to the soundtrack of your day.
"The sky is blue! " you sing. You gesture to the landscape. "And all the trees are green! This is the greatest world that I've ever seen! I think you'll know exactly what I mean, when I say 'That pony can't ruin my day!' "
The music swells down as you breath in a deep breath of air.
"Good Morning, World! I'm ready to take my life by the reins."
You hop down the stairs. Turn on a pot of coffee and waltz through your kitchen. Throwing open your refrigerator, you toss objects behind you, and via some form of Equestria song magic, a frying pan lands on a hot burner, two eggs crack into the pan and begin to sizzle, without any shell getting into them, and a glass of orange juice pours itself. You toss the egg shells, cap the carton of orange juice that didn't spill a drop, and flip the eggs to get that perfect over-easy style.
Then, there's three knocks at the door.
The music pauses and then a suspenseful bass melody begins to play.
"Is that knocking? Whoever could be knocking? Oh no, Couuuld it be who I think it is. Please don't be knocking. STOP that DREADED knocking. Can't this stupid shtick just have an EEEND!
A strong crescendo of strings enters your morning song as you raise your hands to the sky.
"I'm frustrateeeed! BY FETISH GUESSES! Why can't Flutters just leave me aloooone. I'm frustrateeeed! BY FETISH GUESSES! Won't she get the picture and just gooooo.
You sigh to yourself, shaking your head as the music lowers to a silence. Then a familiar tune begins to play
There's another knock at the door. You open the door.
"Anon?" calls out Fluttershy. "Do you wanna fuck a pooonyyy?"
You slam the door. (AN: Stop the music.)
"Fucking horse. I'm getting tired of your flowery sing-song bullshit."
And then you realized that songs are fucking terrible. Trying to spend an entire day like it was a musical was a horrible idea, but on the bright side, you have an awesome breakfast.
You head back to the stove, plate your food, grab your drink, and walk to the table. However, due to your hasty work this morning putting on your shoes while in song, you never tied your shoelaces. You feel the jerk against your foot, and fall to the ground, the glass and plate shattering across the floor.
"God fucking damnit," you mutter to yourself, resting your forehead against the floor.
Author's Note
I may not be able to restore the 3-4 other chapters that had musical copyrights pulled on them, and were asked by mods to be taken down, but I can make Repo, Cannibal the Musical, and Frozen references goddamnit.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
"Woah! Wait a second, where the fuck am I?" you say, looking around the small white room you find yourself in. In front of you sits a single laptop with a headset. On the desk is a small desk light, and what looks like a fullscreened program window.
You turn around, and you're greeted with another white wall, with a steel door. You grab the door by the handle and try to pull it open. It remains firmly closed.
"Hey! HEY! Can anyone get me out of here?" you call out to the other side of the door.
A small envelope slips under the door. You tear open the envelope and pull out a small red piece of paper.
"Put on the headset and talk. Then, you're free. " is written in hastily scribbled in black ink.
You look back to the laptop, and take a deep breath. Well, shit. Your world certainly chose the right fucking day to turn into a horror movie. You sit down in the small, uncomfortable wooden chair, and put on the headset. You can already hear voices on the other side.
"When do you think he's gonna get here? Do we have blog posts up?" says a female voice.
"I just did mine," says a nasally, male voice.
"Posted the thread," says another smoother male voice.
"Oh my god I need scotch," says a more bassy male voice.
"Uhm, hello?" you ask.
"Oh shit! He's here, we can get started," says the bassy voice.
"Count to ten for me?" asks the smooth voice.
"Uh," you say. "One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten."
"Perfect," says the smooth voice.
"Well, Anon!" says the female voice. "It's certainly good to meet you. Have you been briefed yet about us?"
"Uhm, no?"
"Oh, well shit. Uh, well-"
"I pushed the button," interrupts the smooth voice.
"Oh! WELL SHIT. Welcome to the Good Kidnappings in Equestria podcast. We have a wonderful show for you this week, we have MysteriousUtensil."
"I hit him on the head," says the female voice.
"We have MysteriousAnimu."
"Why did I have to do all the heavy lifting?" says the annoying voice.
"Orange juice," continues the bassy voice.
"Hi," says the smooth voice.
"And I'm FlappingPope. This week we have a really special guest that we didn't kidnap or hurt in the slightest, Anonymous! Anon, thank you for joining us this week."
You pause, taking a moment to feel the back of your head, and pull blood away from your hair.
"My head is bleeding," you say.
"Perfect! Now for those-"
As the FlappingPope person begins to drone on about things nobody cares about, you pause to wonder what in the hell is happening. Why are you here? What are you doing with your life? And more importantly, what does Fluttershy have to do with this?
"So, now then, Anon," the FlappingPope voice says, cutting off your train of thought. "Time for interview questions. Who are you, and what have you done for the fandom?"
"Uh, my name is on Anon. and. uh, What fandom?"
"Why the My Little Human fandom, of course!"
"Psh, implying you wouldn't want to touch hands," Utensil says.
"I'd touch y-your hands," Pope interjects.
"Gross," injects Juice. "Dat's gay."
"Next question," Pope continues, as you continue to sit awkwardly, unsure how to handle the situation you're in. "What's you're favorite part of the fandom?"
"Uh... that. uh. it exists."
"Are you assuming that the fandom is corporeal?" Animu adds.
A deafening silence rings for about a moment.
"Oh my god, Animu. Did you just?" Utensil asks.
"What?" Animu asks.
"Next question. If you had one thing to say to your fans, haters, people who are just getting into the fandom. What would you say?"
"Who the fuck are you people?" you ask.
"Perfect!" Pope says. "Then, last but not least. Who is best human?"
"Uh. Me. I'm the only human in Equestria."
"HA! Sure. You and the thousands of other humankin, buddy. Keep tellin yourself that," Utensil adds.
"Did you just assume my humankin stat-"
"Shut the fuck up, Animu. Nobody cares," Pope adds. "SO! That said. We have a set of user questions. As you all know, when we do this podcast, the users get to ask questions to our lovely guest. So, without further ado, we go to YellowQuiet123 who asks 'Is being on a podcast your fetish, Anon?'"
Then, the veil falls. And you suddenly understand everything. You're locked in this stupid fucking room until the podcast is over, and you answer every question.
"No. Podcasts arent my fetish, YellowQuiet123," you say.
"But it might be -miiine-," says Juice.
"Alrighty, now then. Off to ButterMellow420 who asks 'Is consentual oral sex being performed on you your fetish?'"
"Oh my fucking christ, how many questions like this are there?"
"DRINK!" screams the utensil.
"That's right, 'Fuck' is the drinking word. Also, all the questions are about this."
And so, over the course of two hours, you were subjicated to over 80 fetish guesses, while these stupid fucks in the call poked fun. Weirdly, that Orange Juice guy seemed to enjoy every fetish on that list. It was weird. Maybe -he- would make a good Fluttershy kink partner.
But, after you run out of questions, a tall stallion in a long black robe entered the chamber with a baseball bat. You rose from your seat as Flappingpope continued.
"Thanks for watching the Good Kidnappings Podcast. Have a great weekend."
The stallion swings the bat, and despite your attempt to duck out of the way, he collides with your head, and the world goes black.
Hours later, you awaken in your home, in your comfortable bed. The sun is shining. The day is fresh and new. You rise out of your bed with the most splitting headache. That's the last time you fucking ever go on a podcast. Especially not one that was rigged by fucking Fluttershy.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
When the alarm blares this morning, the last thing on your mind is getting out of bed. You're sore. You're tired. You've got a headache. You've spent the entire night sleeping short bursts then waking up in a cold sweat from anxiety dreams.
You've got to go and make your living. Without a job, you can't sustain yourself. You've been liberal with your snooze alarm as of late, and you fear that the laxness to your morning routine is bound to bite you sooner rather than later.
But you're tired. And not just in the whiny way. Your body hurts from the tips of your fingers, to the back of your neck, and right down to the tips of your toes. You open your bloodshot eyes and take a deep, helpless breath. What's got you in such a hissy fit?
Simple. Equestrian taxes.
Your residency status has you in quite the odd situation. You're not just paying residency dues to Equestria so you can become a fully fledged citizen, but property taxes, city taxes and countless other fine print things that take more out of your daily income than you'd like to admit.
So you've spent day in, day out after work doing small projects and handy-work in an attempt to make some under the table cash to get through this month of scalping to your wallet. You'd make a joke about taxation being theft or something, but to be honest? You can barely summon the energy to push yourself out of bed.
But you do though. You've got to eat. You've got to survive. There is no other choice. There is no other choice.
You toss on some work clothes to head down to city hall and prep a cup of coffee when you hear three gentle knocks on your door.
You know what? That's fucking it.
You've taken a lot of harassment up until now. Hell, even assault and battery. Stalking. Strange things you'd rather not repeat. But this is not the time. This is the last straw. This is what broke the camel's back.
You stride to the front door, feeling the blood boil to your face. You can feel yourself become light. The room begins to spin. You've advanced from normal anger. Your knuckles are white from the tightness of your fist. Your teeth grind. You are ready to finally end this.
You toss the door open and unleash a torrent of fury before she can even open her mouth.
"Why the fuck do you even fucking try, you stupid fucking horse. When are you going to fucking realize that I will never want you. I will never love you. You are a waste of energy, space, and time. And this bullshit that you do every fucking morning only pisses me off. If you want to be a fucking royal pain in my ass, then you fucking nailed it. Fucking Bravo, employee of the fucking year. But if you have even the slightest delusion that we can ever even fucking be FRIENDS, then you're lucky that your animals depend on you, because you'll be lucky to ever experience love in your fucking LIFE."
You huff and puff, feeling the blood rush through your face. Fluttershy's ears fold down and her wings hang loosely from her side. Her tail falls limp and she looks to the ground, a tear falling from her eye.
Your gaze follows the tear down to a small cake. Covered in white frosting. In green, a small message saying "Hang in there!" with a happy yellow pony face is on the cake.
"Do you feel better?" she asks, her voice audibly cracking.
You open your mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.
"Have a good day at work, Anon."
The yellow pegasus turns tail and gallops away, refusing to look back.
Fluttershy sits alone in her home, surrounded by her animals. Harry the Bear gently pats her back as she sobs into a couch cushion. Not another sound can be heard through the home as Angel lies in her lap, snuggling up to his owner.
She sniffs then takes a deep breath, tossing the pillow aside.
"Thank you, everyone," she says to her animal friends. "You guys won't let me be alone, right?"
The assorted animals that surround the yellow pegasus each chirp, squeak, or wail in unison. The faintest of a smile grows on the edges of Fluttershy's lips.
Then, she hears three knocks on the door. Fluttershy's head tilts, and the animals around her grow silent. Nervous at the prospect of a visitor.
She rises and moves to the door. Tossing it open, there on the other side is you, holding a familiar white cake.
"Mental health day," you say. "I, uh, I wanted to apologize. I went too far. I've just really been having a hard time lately..."
Fluttershy smiles and nods.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Fluttershy asks.
You shrug and hold up the cake.
"Only if you'll share this with me. If I ate this whole thing, I'd get fat."
Fluttershy snickers.
"Of course, anytime."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
When your alarm goes off this morning, all you do is stare at it. Your mind instantly goes to work as your eyes try to make out the angry square box with weird numbers on it.
"Why?" you think to yourself. "Why is it morning? We just had morning yesterday. Why does it have to be today too? It's not fair."
You swat at the box until it stops making noise, except it doesn't. Instead, it falls on the ground and continues to scream like someone pulled the fire alarm of a small ant farm. With a groan, you rise out of bed, silence the alarm, and set it back on your nightstand.
Then, you stop, and look longingly back at your bed. It would be so easy to undo the covers and just slip back inside those warm sheets. Nobody notice if you just took one day off right? Or a week? Or a month? It's not like ponies pay attention or anything.
But, you realize that you're a 'grownup' with 'responsibilities'. So, you turn on a dime and head out of your bedroom.
You go into the bathroom and go through your normal daily ritual. You take a shower. You take your pills and vitamins. You take a spicy dump. You stare into the mirror and wonder what you did in life to deserve living in a world of candy-colored horses, and then shave. You toss on some clothes and head downstairs when you hear three gentle knocks on the door.
Dang man, you didn't even get to make breakfast. You must have stood in the shower too long, letting the warm water roll over you as you ponder if there was a smart way to use up the rest of that dijon musturd in the fridge before it went bad. You head to the door, open it wide, then slam it shut.
"No. No fucking way. There is no fucking way I'm handling this today," you say to yourself.
You turn, trying to burn the mental picture of what you saw on the other side out of your mind.
"I'm not going away until we do this, Anon!" Fluttershy calls from the otherside of the door.
"No! Just, no to all of the above. I'm not going to dignify this."
"Any fetish you refuse to directly answer to my face is an attempt to hide your hugely erect monkey dick!"
"You're just making that up!" you scream back at her. "There's NOTHING SEXY about what you're doing. This is NOT OKAY."
"Come on, Anon. This is going to be requested for forever until you finally just do it."
"Okay, but if we're going to do this. We can't make light of the fact that this shit needs to be properly discussed. This shit is sensitive."
"I agree," Fluttershy says aloud. "We need some sort of proper disclaimer saying that this isn't something that we're shaming."
"Nah, that's fucking stupid," you say, walking up to the door and tossing it open.
There, on the other side of the door, is a yellow pony that you recognize as Fluttershy, but in a hideous new form that you can only hope you will never see again. Your eye first moves to the light blue cap, similar to that of a lunchlady cap, but much more soft, made of a soft cloth, and has little ducks on it. Then, your eyes move down to the pacifier that she suckles in her mouth. Then your eyes move down to the rattle in her hoof, then to the diaper she wears. You instantly grab your nose, fearing the worst.
"Okay," you say, your voice squeaky from holding your nose. "Let's unpack this quickly, before I say something mean."
"Are diapers your fetish?" she asks.
"No."
"Is ABDL your fetish?"
"No."
"Is changing diapers, scat play, or urine play your fetish?"
"No, I think we covered those."
"How about extreme age roleplay?"
"Not in the slightest."
"How about toddler-con?"
"Not even a little bit."
"How about if our roles were switched and you were the baby for all of the above?"
"I might actually throw up. Are we done?"
"Last but not least, how about baby talking?"
"Okay," you yell to the world. "That's it! We're DONE HERE! NO! We're done. NOT ANY OF THOSE, IN ANY VARIATION, OR ANYTHING HAVING TO DO WITH BABIES OR CHILDREN."
"Including birthing and pregnancy?" Fluttershy asks.
"YES"
"How about unbirthing?"
At that point, you feel a small tickle in the back of your throat. Before you can stop it, a massive torrent of acidic bile pushes up your throat and forces itself out. Fluttershy's eyes grow wide in horror as a putrid-green torrent collides with her face, then drips down her body.
"Wow, Anon," Fluttershy says. "That's so insensitive. You realize that these are real fetishes that people have in order to relieve stress and try to find some sort of normal in their lives."
"Yeah but," you say, closing the door. "Their kink is not my kink. I said no. Please let it stay there."
You close the door, and decide that today is not a day for doing. Today is not meant to be done. That is to say, you head back upstairs, close your bedroom door, shut the blinds, then roll back into bed to hibernate.
Author's Note
Every Fetish in this Chapter was a request.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Sweep the floors. Wash the Toilets. Scrub the shower. Rinse the dishes. Clean the counter tops. It's easy.
Then why does it feel like misery to do?
It's the weekend for you, which means you finally have a few days off of work to regain your sanity, bearings, and patience, before you go back to work and learn to hate life in new and inventive ways. Sure, your weekend might not be everyone else's weekend, but it's yours, goddammit, so it's time to get some things done for you. Like cleaning your pigsty of a home.
But, now as you fish under your kitchen sink for cleaning products and your secret weapon, bleach, all you want to do is lie on the couch and catch up on that new politic show that all the ponies are talking about.
With a sigh, you set your cleaning materials on the kitchen table and grab a rag. You know that it'll feel good to have everything clean once it's done, it's just... no fun. Which seems childish, but it's so true.
Then, to your delight, you hear three knocks on the door. Yay! A reason not to clean! Wait. It's Fluttershy.
You look back down to the cleaning supplies, then to the door, then back to the supplies.
You chuck the cleaning supplies over your shoulder, which was honestly a really bad move (It smacked into the cupboards and then fell on the floor and broke open everywhere man. What a waste of bleach.), but you head to the front door and open it wide.
Fluttershy stands on the other side, as radiant as normal. Her robin's egg blue eyes look up at you innocently, which is also a bad sign. Usually she gets those puppy dog eyes before she asks something like "is shoving your dick into a sheep's stomach that's filled with the minced organs of that same sheep's other innards and blood your fetish?"
Without a doubt, she's got something up her sleeve today, and it doesn't feel good.
"Good Morning, Anon! I have a question for you," the yellow pegasus asks.
"Uh," you say, unsure of how to react. "Yeah?"
"Would you say you have some hands?"
You pause, completely unsure how to answer this. Is this like one of those trick questions that asshole Joey asked you in the sixth grade? Because no matter how you answered, he said you were gay and everybody laughed. Man, fuck Joey. He always said he was just joking but he always seemed to pick on you so much. Oh god, Anon. Now isn't the time to relive past trauma. Answer the question.
"Uh, yes?"
"Good, because I think you are handsome as well," she says with a smile.
You feel a warmth grow on your cheeks, but for the first time in forever, you realize it's not anger. It's... actually a blush. You're blushing. You didn't see that coming. A genuine compliment from Fluttershy. Wow.
"S-so are wholesome compliments or wholesome jokes your fetish?" she asks.
You shake your head.
"Uhm, no. But, that was nice. I legitimately didn't expect that from you."
Fluttershy tilts her head and her ears wiggle slightly.
"Did it make your day a little better?"
"Yeah, actually," you say with a chuckle. "It really did."
"Good!" she says happily before turning around and heading down the path away from your home. "I always need to butter you up before I ask about the really weird fetishes! Have a good day, Anon!"
You pause, staring down at the pony who terrorizes your morning, that happy little feeling now shattered into hundreds of pieces.
"Wait, then what are you going to ask tomorrow?"
But the pony doesn't answer, she simply spreads her wings, and takes to the sky.
Fuck.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
When you wake up to another day in Equestria, you hear a rather new sound from your alarm. Ringing.
Your eyes shoot open and you sit up in a jolt. Sure enough, when your eyes move to the clock, you find a wind up classic alarm clock sitting on your bedside table. You push down on the hammer that swings back between two metal bells, and the alarm is silenced. Your gaze moves to the window, but to your shock, the sun is down. You're in pitch black, save for a lit lamp in the corner of the room. You pull off the covers, and you notice something else strange. You're in a suit. And sitting by your bedside table is a matching fedora.
"Oh fuck, what the shit did Fluttershy do?"
You grab the hat, toss it on your head, and resign yourself to the idea that you're going to have to put up with all of this. If you're lucky, you can keep this sweet suit.
When you step out of your room, you find a thin layer of smoke wafting up the stairs from the lower level. Yet, to your luck, you don't smell burning. No, instead, a sticky, smokey scent sticks at the back of your throat and gives you a gentle rush. You place a hand to your forehead and groan. As you descend the stairs, you find her sitting at your kitchen table. You'll never forget the way she looks. Like a mare who was running from trouble. Trouble she was bringing with her. Her eyes were crying out for help, and her smile spoke of innocence. Yet you knew, deep down, she was trouble. She wears a black, lacy dress that shows off a tuft of fur from her chest. Calling it odd would be an understatement. On a human dress, this would be to show off cleavage. Ponies don't have that.
She takes a long drag off of her cigarette, and blows a long cloud of smoke into the air, then sets her sights on you. She puts out her cigarette into a tray on your table with three firm taps.
"What's a handsome cat like you doing in a gin mill like this?" she says, motioning to the seat beside you.
"What the actual fuck are you doing in my house, Fluttershy?"
"Not even thankful for the glam rags?" she continues. "And here I thought you'd care to tip a few with dame like me."
"Glam rags? What the actual fuck?"
"You've got quite a mouth on you, Anon. What's the matter? We use to drink out of the same bottle when we first met."
"Yeah, to make sure you didn't roofie me," you groan, moving into the kitchen.
"I would never give you a Mickey Finn, Anon."
"And you lost me. Also, what the fuck did you do with my coffee?"
Fluttershy rises from her seat and moves toward you. She crosses her front hooves in front of you, puffing out the chest tuft she prominently shows.
"I've always been lousy with words, Anon. So I'll just say it. You nicked my heart the moment we've met, and I've been out on the roof every night I don't have you. What would it take for a lug like you to make me your moll? Or are ya some sort of queer nance?"
You turn around and just glare at her.
"Fluttershy, just say the stupid fucking line so we can get this over with."
"Does a dish like me turn you on, Anon?" she asks, biting her bottom lip, and batting her delicate eyelashes at you.
You sigh, realizing there's only one way out. Playing along.
"Not a chance, darlin'. So take a powder."
Fluttershy puts out her pouty lip and stomps away.
"I don't even LIKE cigarettes!" she grumbles as she stomps out your door and slams it behind her.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Pregnancy - Red Returns 1
It's another start to another perfect day in Equestria. You lie in bed, the sun streaming through your windows, and the love of your life in your arms. You breathe in the floral scent of her long pink hair. You run your fingers through her soft, gentle fur. Her sky blue eyes have not yet stirred away from her land of slumber, and you have no intention to change that. She has to work a double soon, and the hospital has been murder lately.
The journey to having Nurse Redheart in your life was a long and winding one. But at the very least, you can say you're finally happy now. This sort of relationship just feels right. Natural. If there was one thing you could change, one tiny thing at all, it would be that she wasn't originally hired by your stalker.
That's right, the yellow menace that the rest of Ponyville sees as a sweet, lovable pony who couldn't hurt a fly because she named him Wingy, is one of the most demented, dark, evil creatures in this land. It's all just lying right underneath the surface.
Fluttershy has her heart set on you, and being in a steady relationship changes nothing. She still makes her guesses everyday. She still will break into your home and steal little meaningless things that you only use once in a while for her not-so-secret shrine.
But none of that matters, because you have her. With her, nothing else matters.
You hear the three knocks come from downstairs, and Red's eyes blink open.
"Morning already?" she asks.
"Yeah, I'll answer it. You know how she gets when we ignore her."
Redheart grumbles and buries her head in a pillow.
"When is that mare going to get it?" she mumbles.
You head out of the room and down the stairs, throwing on a pair of jeans along the way. You start the coffee pot, then head to the door, tossing it open.
Fluttershy stands in front of you, overly proud of herself and wearing a small satchel.
"Anon, I have a proposal for you," she says, her eyes locked onto you and seemingly... Void. "Dump Redheart now, or I will give you the worst week of your life."
Your breath catches in your throat.
"Excuse me?" you ask.
"You heard me," she says flatly. "And I won't repeat myself. This little game of cat and mouse is over, Anon. I'm keeping you. Nopony else is allowed to touch you, speak to you, or anything. You're mine. So it's time for you to wisen up. Leave Redheart. You won't get another chance."
You sigh and rub your forehead. Is she bluffing? This wouldn't be the first time that Fluttershy did something fucked up. On the other hand, sometimes she really does just bluff her way through a fetish guess. What could she possibly do to you that would make the worst week of your life? She's came on you. Threatened you with weapons. Made you bleed. Kidnapped you and more. No. There's nothing else she could do to break you anymore than you've already broken.
"Why don't you just do your silly little fetish guess and go back home, Fluttershy," you say, keeping your voice cool and calm. "We both know how this ends. You say some strong words. Do something weird. Then leave. Blah blah fetish blah blah. It's old. Just get on with it and we can go about our normal lives."
Fluttershy's eyes widen for a second. She bites her bottom lip, then looks away.
"Is this really what you want?" she asks calmly. "Last chance."
Hah. She doesn't even want to do this one. Good job, Anon. You called her bluff.
"Just fucking get on with it," you say, raising your voice.
Fluttershy sighs then looks up at you with a smile.
She digs a small stick out of her backpack.
"I'm pregnant. And you're the father."
You stare at her flatly.
"No," you say flatly. "That is not true."
"Oh really?" she asks. Then she pulls out a small orange bottle and tosses them at your feet. "How'd you sleep two weeks ago? The two of you had so many pills that I was almost worried I'd have to call poison control. Red even smiled when you came inside me. It must have been a nice dream."
You take a step back. Your memory from two weeks ago was a complete blur, but you do remember feeling borderline sick to your stomach and light headed one day. No way. She's bluffing.
"I'll believe it when I see a proper paternity test," you say to her, keeping your mask of confidence.
The yellow pegasus shakes her head and gives there sharp 'tsks' with her tongue.
"That's a shame," Fluttershy said, turning away. "I was just going to tell Red that you donated to the sperm bank, but in that case, I suppose we'll go with affair. Have a nice day, Anon."
"Fluttershy, none of this is my fetish," you yell at her. "You might as well stop."
The mare stops in her tracks, then turns around to face you.
"This isn't about guessing anymore, Anon. Don't you see that?" Fluttershy says. "This is about fixing what is broken."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
It's Time To Leave - Red Returns 2
As Fluttershy walks away, you can't help but feel like screaming. You want to run after her, grind her to a pulp, and finally end all of this bullshit. Who cares if she's an "Element of Harmony" or a Rainbow Ranger or whatever the fuck she is. She's gone too far. Drugging you and Redheart to rape you in your sleep? And then make herself pregnant with your child because of it?
Setting aside any questions regarding pony biology, because this world is fucking weird and you can't rule out any possibility at any given time, you decide that your best course of action at this time is to regroup and recover. Redheart needs to be brought into the loop. Now.
You pick up the orange bottle and close the door behind you. Sure enough, it's a small prescription bottle of high-dose sleeping pills, diagnosed to Fluttershy. By Nurse Redheart. For occasional leg pain and sleep discomfort.
Right, from when she amputated herself.
You decide to lock the door, just to be safe.
You head upstairs, where Nurse Redheart is still lying in bed, the covers pulled tightly over her head. You quietly cross the room and sit down on the edge of the bed, unsure of where to begin or how to gather your thoughts.
"Red, it's time to get up," you say.
"But five more minutes," Red whines. "Work can wait."
"No, Red," you say. "We need to go. It's time to grab the emergency bags."
Red pauses for a moment, as if registering the words you just said. Then, she pulls the covers off and sits upright, her hair a tangled mess of knots and sleep drool.
"What did she do?" Red asks, her voice stern.
You place the bottle of pills on the bed. She picks up the bottle and inspects it carefully.
"Did she drug you to sleep?" she asks.
"No, she drugged us ," you say. "And she got herself pregnant from it."
Redheart immediately leaps out of bed and gallops across the room.
"I'll grab the bags. You head to the station and get the tickets for Baltimare. We might not have much time."
"What?" you say, rising to your feet and following her downstairs. "I'm lost. Why are we running?"
"Anon, it would be easier to just go and I'll explain later. We have to go right now before the town finds out what happened."
At this point, you nod and bolt out the door. You trust Redheart at this point, and if she believes that actually bugging out of Ponyville is the best thing to do right now, then so be it. You run across town, not stopping to catch a breath, not stopping to think, not stopping to say hi to Rainbow Dash, not stopping to wave at Twilight, not even stopping by Applejack, who is setting up her cart in the market, to tell her that you quit. You just run. And when you arrive at the train station, you buy the first two tickets to Baltimare. You claim your tickets, and by the time you turn around, Redheart is pulling two wheeled bags by a rope in her teeth.
You jog to meet your marefriend, pick up the bags, and she slows down to catch her breath. The train whistles off in the distance as the two of you sit on the platform, waiting for the train to arrive.
"So, now that I've abandoned everything I've worked for, and we're running away together without a thought or question," you say, sitting down on a waiting bench. "Can you tell me why we're leaving?"
Red sighed and sits down beside you.
"Is it okay if the reason is... sort of selfish?" she asks.
The question hits you like a brick upside the head. Your instinctual answer is, 'yeah, of course it's okay, because I love you,' but it's the implication in her tone that makes you pause before you speak.
"Yeah, it's okay. What's up?"
Redheart's eyes move to the ground as the train pulls up.
"Ponyville is still a sort of... backwater town, sometimes. There's a lot of old standards here that don't always apply in a place like the city. It's just because of the community mindset and... well," she sighs shaking her head. "I know I might be over worrying, but have your heard of a Hair whip Wedding?"
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
It only takes a second for the implication to set in. A horse hair whip. The lack of guns in Equestria. This is their equivalent of a shotgun wedding. Get married, or else.
This was Fluttershy's plan, surely.
"Then, I suppose that's it," you say, rising to your feet and grabbing your bags.
The two of you give your tickets to the conductor. You find a private compartment for you and Redheart to sit in, and you pull the curtains closed, just to be sure. The train pushes off, and then, the only sound that fills the empty, stagnant air of the cramped compartment is the rumble of the train on tracks. You sit facing each other, sitting on opposite seats. Red's eyes move from you, to the floor, not saying a word. The silence lets you contemplate. And your mind begins to wander.
This is it. You're finally running away. This is the day you felt like it would never need to be a necessity. Fluttershy finally did something that you can't resolve through either peace or violence. Which means the only option is to fly. And worse off, she created new life to do it.
And then the weight of her plan begins to really hit you. She... force created a life in order to leverage you to follow her plans. In order to manipulate you. That's a new low. There's an evil in a manipulation of others in order to further your own agenda at the manipulated's expense, but this is a whole new low. This is a life. A new life. Or, well, a potential life. It could be a ruse. There could be medical complications due to the human part of the DNA. There's a solid chance that your child could never be born.
Then the silence becomes overwhelming, yet deafening. You hear a ringing in your ears. Breathing becomes more difficult and you become acutely aware of every single little muscle and movement in your body. You feel a physical ache that settles over your whole body. You slouch some. A chill runs from your shoulders down to your knees as a tremble tickles the back of your throat.
You may never, ever, meet your first child. Or worse, your child may never be born. Fluttershy has taken that from you. There's no getting it back.
"Are... are you okay, Anon?"
"I'm fine," you say, your voice wavering. You look down to your fist and notice your knuckles are growing white. A trail of moisture runs down your cheek. For a moment, you feel as if you only exist. There is only a husk where you are. You are nothing. "I'll be fine."
Redheart moves to sit by you, placing a hoof on your shoulder and pulling you in towards her. You smell the sunflower aroma of her delicate pink mane. You feel the softness of her fur. You feel your body give and you allow the tiny pony to take a part of you and pull you into her. You feel her warmth take you and hold you closely comforting you. Keeping you tight.
A stray thought then crosses your mind. 'Keeping you prisoner.'
You push away your insecurities and close your eyes. Allow yourself to be loved, Anon. Allow yourself to know that you deserve good things. Allow yourself to have something that makes you happy.
Redheart hums a gentle tune as she strokes the features of your face. You feel the water flow freely, down your skin and onto the fabric seats of the train car.
In that moment, you've never felt more violated by Fluttershy. You've never felt more ruined by Fluttershy. With one simple action, Fluttershy took from you something that truly is unforgivable.
All that's left is to restart.
Author's Note
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5STmQVqsu0M
I'm sorry for the short chapter lengths on these dailys. I'm trying to do them correctly. I know each scene could be elaborated on much more, but I don't want to weigh down with too much unnecessary detail either. I'd love some opinions and critiques with this arc. This one wont be short, me thinks.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Brainstorming - Red Returns 4
Hours passed as you and Redheart grew cramped in the tiny passenger train booth. The two of you remained silent, not because there wasn't anything to say, but rather, what was the point in saying it? That was what you felt, anyway. The waves of anger, guilt, and helplessness came in shorter waves now, and further apart. Maybe it's just desensitizing after all the shit that Fluttershy has done to you in the past, but at one point you rub your eyes and think that this is just another day in Equestria. Nothing more, nothing less. Just another day of the yellow menace wanting to make your life a living hell.
Well good on her, it's working.
"Um," Red says as her eyes changed focus between you and the floor. You raise your attention to her, but don't say anything in response.
Her face is contorted, almost choking on words caught in her throat. She takes a deep breath before opening her mouth, as if making sure that speaking was still a function her body was able to do.
"I'm beginning to think... I'm beginning to think I'm doing something horrible to you," she says. Then, she exhales, as if the words released a heavy burden from her shoulders. Her ears turn down and her gaze moves back to the floor.
"Why?" You ask. Your voice feels flatter and more apathetic than you intended. You aren't mad at Redheart, it's just been a long day.
She closes her eyes for a moment, as if putting herself in her happy place for a little while before returning back to the small train car.
"I don't want to be a mare who asked you to give up your child to run away with me... and I didn't mean for that. It didn't really hit me what I asked you to do until right now. And now I just..."
Her words trail off. She takes a deep breath, shaking her head. Her voice cracks and a pinkness rises across her face.
"I'm sorry. I'm really not trying to make this about me. I just... I really don't want to be the bad guy here," Redheart says. "I did that once before I really knew you... and I'm still... trying to forgive myself for that."
A silence fills the room as you look down to the floor.
"I don't see it that way. You aren't taking anything away from me, Red," you say. "I'm not giving up my child to be with you, or run away with you."
You sigh, running a hand through your hair. You rise to your feet and pull her in close to you.
"The way I see it, Fluttershy took something away from me. From us. She took my first child. She took away my ability to share that experience in all of it's wonder with you in a fresh new way. Now... I'm going to always be left with more questions than answers. What if's? And even if I do get to see my child, or even gain some sort of custody... you'll know she isn't yours. You'll know the circumstances. This little one will be associated with a crime that she never committed or consented to. And that's wrong for everyone. You aren't the bad guy here, Red. So please, quiet that little voice in the back of your mind."
Redheart pushes herself against your body and wraps her hooves around you.
"I love you, Anon," she whispers in the quiet little car.
"I love you too, Red," you whisper back.
The train continues to roll down the tracks and the sun moves across the sky. You reach a hand out and open the curtain, finally letting some sunlight into the booth. The rolling plains of the open country pass by, animals grazing on the grass moving past at a blisteringly fast speed.
"Where are we even going to live once we get to Baltimare?" you ask.
"I don't know," Red says. "We won't even get to use our real names."
"Yeah, I guessed as much," you reply. "Or else she'll track us down. I can do some handyman jobs, I suppose."
"It'll be a lot harder for me. Hiding a cutie mark for the rest of my life isn't really... uhm. Easy."
"I'm sure there's something we can do," you say. "If you want to stay at home, I can take two jobs and make this all work."
Redheart pushes back to look you in the eye.
"What? No. You can't do that."
"What are the chances that someone in the medical profession will recognize you?" you ask. "And be honest with me."
Red pauses, biting her bottom lip.
"That's what I was afraid of," you continue. "We have to do this right. I couldn't hide the fact I'm a human even if I tried. So I can get jobs at night, doing hard, but honest labor. Maybe we can turn where we live into a sort of... off the books medical clinic. Bits only... sort of thing. That can be our primary income, while my work helps us buy supplies."
"There's a lot of ways this could go wrong, Anon," Red says, looking away from you. "I don't like it."
"What else do we have?" you ask.
The car goes silent once more, as the mare beside you ponders your question.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
"I guess, here's my problem," she says, taking a deep breath. "I don't think me being recognized is going to be as much of a threat as you. No offense. I mean, you're the only human in Equestria. If somepony never heard of you, then it's only a matter of time until someone reports it, and it works it's way back to Fluttershy somehow. So, instead of me staying home and laying low, I think it would be smarter if it were you."
You pause, taking a deep breath.
"I would go stir crazy."
"So would I," Redheart says. "Now you can see why I really don't like either plan. No matter what, it's risky. No matter what, we could get recognized. There is no good way to do this."
"What if we left the country?" you ask.
"And go where?" Redheart asks. "Saddle Arabia? The Yaks? The Griffons? The Crystal Empire? Every single place has positive relations with Equestria."
"There's going to be risk no matter where we go. We need to find a place where we can at least reduce it as much as possible."
"I understand," she continues, placing her face in her hooves. "I just don't know what to do."
"What about some sort of desolate prairie? We could make a tree-house or find some sort of cave."
"How would we find food or water? Or even basic supplies?"
"We will have to rough it," you say. "It's not going to be easy, no matter what way we spin it."
"We're not prepared for that. It's not an option," Redheart says, raising her focus back to you. "That's where the line is drawn."
"Okay," you sigh. "So, if we leave the country, we need a permanent solution. Somewhere where all of this won't bite back at us. We can probably slip past some sort of immigration customs, but we still need ways to make money and enough resources to survive until we get there. So what do we do until we're fully ready?"
"Well, we're on our way to Balitmare," Red says, thinking carefully. "I can dye my hair and put make-up over my cutie mark to work in a store or something. If I'm lucky, I could work in a back room, just in case. But we'd need to find you something to do too."
"How about a night job?" you ask. "Like in my original idea."
Red rubs her forehead, then looks out the window.
"It's the best chance we have," she mutters.
You look down at the floor of the train car, feeling the weight of the plan begin to weigh down on you. There's so much to do, and all of it has to be done as soon as possible if you guys are going to be able to escape Equestria with enough funds to survive and get by unnoticed.
Then, you look up to her face. So calm, so serious. She's in this with you. She's in this with you all the way. She's willing to help you escape the clutches of Fluttershy for good. And then spend that new life with you, creating a new life for herself.
She abandoned everything she had. Without even a second thought. A job. A life. Friends. Her old place, even if she never used it that much. And now she's here, running away with you.
"Red," you mutter.
"Yeah?" she asks, turning to look at you.
"Are you sure this is what you want to do?" you ask. "All of... this? This won't be easy. And it's not going to be fun."
The edges of her lips curl in a bit of a sly smile.
"I wouldn't do it for anypony else, if that's what you're asking. You're worth it, silly."
You move off your seat and place your knees on the floor.
"I mean this is going to be really, really hard. And we'll be miserable. We'll be sick. And tired. And burnt out-"
"But we'll have each other," she says, cutting you off. "Anon, what are you saying?"
A hint of a smile curls on your lips.
"What I'm asking is, after all of this is over. After we escape and are able to start a new life, we're only going to have each other. And that's it. It'll be you and me, and a whole new world to explore and make our own. For the rest of our lives. Do you see what I'm saying?"
Redheart looks over the features of your face blankly, before her pupils grow wide. A faint rosiness grows on her cheeks.
"I don't want to do this with any other pony, Redheart," you say softly. "And if we're going to do this. I want it to be you and me. For the rest of our lives."
Her eyes begin to glisten from the sunshine beaming in through the window. Her tail gives an involuntary wag as her ears fully perk up.
"Will you-"
"Yes," she says, cutting you off. "Of course I will, Anon."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Redheart leaps into your arms and plants her lips onto yours. You wrap your arms around her and pull her in tightly.
Then it's settled. It's just you and her now. This is the start of a whole new chapter. A whole new story. And this time, you're in the driver seat.
You feel her tongue push into your mouth, and you taste the sweetness of her saliva mixed with yours. Soft, wet kissing noises fill the tiny room as you feel her hind quarters rest on your lap. She breaks away, and looks down into your eyes. She giggles lightly.
"You know," she teases. "We do have a little more time before the train stops..."
You raise your eyebrows and your smile morphs into a smirk.
"Why Red," you say coyly. "Are you suggesting something lewd?"
She bats a hoof against your chest, then lets it rest there on top of your shirt. Red bites her bottom lip as you feel her press herself down on your pants. Her warmth can be felt all the way through your jeans. Your mind begins to run wild with arousal, both filled with sensual, lustful desires and empty of any other thoughts. You lean in close and plant your lips against the nape of her neck.
And then there are three soft knocks on the compartment door.
You freeze in place. Red's expression fades and she whips around at the door which has its curtains pulled down. Silence comes from the other side of the door.
"Do you think?" she whispers.
You place a hand on her hoof and remain completely still, watching the doorknob. You and Redheart breathes in shallow breaths of the stagnant air around you. Red moves off of you as you rise to your feet. You place a hand on the doorknob.
You take a deep breath, then let it out slowly. You feel your heartbeat ring through your ears. The hair on the back of your neck stands on end.
You turn the handle and pull open the door.
And the only thing outside is an empty hallway. You look both ways down the train car, and aside from a few closed doors of other passengers on the train, there isn't anypony in the hall. You feel your hand shake as you close the door.
Checking the other rooms doesn't feel like the right thing to do. Even if you did find Fluttershy on this train, what would that solve? Would you throw her off the train? And risk hurting your child? If she has your child? Would you scream at her? Because that's done a lot of good before.
How? How would she have known you were heading to Baltimare? It doesn't make sense.
Is this what it's going to be like? Constantly looking behind your back? Peering around corners to see if she's there? Constantly weary of the next big fear?
It's at times like these you wish there were more locks in Equestria.
You sit back down and look back up at Redheart.
"Maybe just a weird coincidence?" Redheart says lightheartedly.
You look up to her with a light smile, then fold your hands. The silence fills the room once more and her smile fades as she looks down to the floor. Her ears fold over.
"She'll never leave us alone, will she?"
You let out a deep breath, and close your eyes.
"We can only hope she will," you mutter. "We can only hope.
The train's whistle sounds loudly, signaling the approach of their destination. Even now, as Ponyville was likely days of flying off in the distance, Fluttershy's mental grasp holds strong over you and your life.
All you have to do is escape Equestria. Once the two of you are ready, then all of this can finally come to an end.
You just have to keep pushing.
Author's Note
Feeling sick today. Sorry for shorter chapter. Maybe I'll do a second to make up the difference
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Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
(Guest Chapter) A Wholesome Romance with Mr Tingles by the parasprite
A Wholesome Romance With Mr. Tingles
You wake up as you usually do in the morning: tired, depressed, and hung over. All that booze and coke last night only put off your problems for Morning Anon to deal with. Within five minutes you’re already pounding vodka.
It’s not that you’re an alcoholic, or that you’re some kind of sad little emo pussy faggot, but that… well… living in a magical land of talking pastel horses that can fly and live for thousands of years and stuff is kind of, like, boring. You’re bored , dude. How could anyone not be bored in a land that can’t do anything at all without attaching a horse pun to it?
Also, you might also be drinking to forget all the mares you dated who sort of died or left you and eventually ruined your hopes for finding romance in the world of Equestria. As you pour yourself some cereal with vodka in it, you can’t help but remember them.
The first was Redheart. You were so in love with her. But now you only remember her in embarrassment and disgust, since it was actually Fluttershy trying to figure out if long-term identity theft was your fetish.
You cry harder and drain a bottle of wine. It doesn’t help. It only reminds you of more lost love.
There was Berry, of course, and you loved her very much even though she was a wet-brained alcoholic kook. But then she died in that tragic distilling accident. You’re still not sure how the Cutie Mark Crusaders managed to squeeze her entire upper half into a wine bottle without realizing it might be a bad idea. And you don’t think you’d ever want to know what kind of cutie mark they thought they’d earn from that.
Then there was Ditzy. Ditzy was so sweet and so kind and you just couldn’t help but fall in love with her as she comforted you in the aftermath of Berry’s death, despite your attempts to resist tarnishing your love for the earth mare. But then Ditzy accidentally drank a bottle of highly radioactive poison and died of multiple cancers in the span of about a week. You still have a pending lawsuit against the company responsible for not labeling that bottle properly.
Speaking of bottles, you down an entire bottle of vintage absinthe, but it does nothing to dull the pain because you’re more of a heavyweight than anyone in this land of horses.
You dated Applejack, of course. She was smoking hot, could almost keep up with your alcoholism, and she couldn’t die because she was one of the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony and a main character in the show, so she was invincible. But in the end you found out you were actually dating a changeling, and you’re terrified of insects because they’re creepy and crawly and disgusting, and also you kept expecting the changeling to then turn into Fluttershy and ask, “Are changelings your fetish, Anon?”
So then you tried dating Twilight Sparkle. That didn’t go so well either, because it turned out she was also a changeling. Specifically, she sort of tried to confess that she was a changeling and you sort of had a flashback to the previous relationship and beat up the changeling. Then you had a hate mob come and torture her to find out where the real Twilight was. Only it turned out to actually be Twilight Sparkle and she was a changeling all along and this was her version of coming out of the closet. And then she broke up with you. So that sucked.
After that you began to wonder if the universe had it out for you… so you hooked up with a mare who felt like the universe had it out for her, too. Her name was Starlight Glimmer. She was beautiful and powerful and clever as all hell. But nopony really liked her because she was sort of a huge cunt to everypony for a while.
You smile wistfully. Ah, Starlight… the two of you had had so much in common, particularly the evil, twisted sense of humor. Long hours you two did spend mocking the inabilities of your peers to measure up. And then one day Starlight slipped and fell in the bathtub and broke her neck like a skrub.
And then you were alone again. But you did not despair! You hung out and chilled for a while because you didn’t need no bitches because at that point you certainly weren’t desperate for companionship in a world where you’d beaten up the local princess, certainly not.
You lurch over to the fridge, leaving twin trails of tears behind, and grab some clear liquid, which you drink. It might be water. It could also be pure liquid LSD. You’re not sure. Your vision is too blurred from limpid tears of suffering to make out the label.
The day after Starlight died you’d started looking for companionship because you were desperate and lonely and pathetic. You hooked up with Cheerilee, who was honestly the only pony you’d enjoyed talking to after Starlight’s demise. She was witty and clever, and though she lacked the biting causticness that Starlight could put forth at a moment’s notice, she was able to put up with your bullshit pretty well.
But then one of the many curses that had been placed upon your head by God himself for some unknown sin of immeasurable magnitude made herself known while you were having a romantic picnic with Cheerilee on a scenic hilltop one beautiful day.
It is surprising, you suddenly think to yourself as you consume an entire ounce of shrooms, that it took you this long to figure out that God has a hateboner for you. I mean, what loving god would make a priest who sends wave after wave of fetish-spouting cutepone stalkers after you?
You sniff a pile of suspicious white powder that might be horse tranquilizer. You’re rolling in ketamine like Tony Montana rolls in cocaine. The events of your curse suddenly flood back into your mind as a hallucination/flashback due to all the drugs and alcohol.
“Another cherry, my love?” you ask, holding one up between your thumb and forefinger.
Cheerilee giggles. “Oh, if you insist,” she says playfully, and opens her mouth wide.
Yeah, it’s one of those romances. Fuck off with your judgment.
Just as you’re about to place the cherry on her waiting tongue, you stop. You have a strange sense that you’re being watched… But when nothing happens, you shrug and move in for the kill.
“ANERN THER YUO AR!”
You scream a very un-manly scream, scared shitless by the screeching voice just inches from your ear. With a panicked and confused Cheerilee clinging to you, you whirl around and glare at the very unwelcome intruder. You knew exactly who it was before you even looked, because there are only two ponies in Equestria that make you want to punch your own balls to distract yourself from them, and one of them is practically mute and kind of okay when she’s not spouting off horrible fetish ideas.
“Lyler what the fuck are you doing here go away I’m busy,” you say in what you feel is a reasonably calm tone of voice.
“I LIKE A PICNIC TOO!” yells Lyler. “FOOD! TENDIES!”
“This is for me and Cheerilee only. Lyler pls go.”
“TENDIES TENDIES TENDIES!” Lyler starts jumping up and down. “MY PICNIC TOO!”
Apparently, Cheerilee has some experience dealing with Lyler, because she’s not freaking out. It’s either that or she’s just come to accept that this kind of shit is normal in Ponyville. Either or, really.
Or maybe, just maybe, the horrendous stench of unwashed horse vaginal discharge has put her in a momentary coma. The more you think about it, the more you realize it’s probably that one. Lyler and Rainbom tried to barbeque Lyra’s firehose last week and Lyra hasn’t found a replacement yet, so Lyler smells like death.
“Listen,” you say, pushing the comatose Cheerilee’s ears down so she won’t have to hear your foul language, “I put up with a lot of your shit, but I’m trying to get laid with my one true love tonight, okay? Do you have any idea how long it’s been since I’ve had sex?”
“I WANT DICKIE AND PICNIC TENDIES.”
“Oh, Lyra, it’s you,” says Cheerilee, brought back to the world of the living quite suddenly. You were wrong; she has no experience with Lyler, the lucky mare.
Predictably, Lyler gets right up in her face and pitches a fit. “NOT LYRA! LYLER! LLLLYYYYYYYYLLLLERRRRRR! LYLER ANERRRNNNN!”
“Lyler stop this shit.” You put your finger on her nose and roll her back onto her haunches. “Leave Cheerilee alone. Go have your own picnic somewhere else and let us enjoy ours.”
Her face scrunches up. She picks up a plastic bottle in her hooves and jabs it at you like it’s a weapon.
“MY PICNIC!” she howls, and squirts some of the sauce in it onto your shirt.
“Maybe we should just go,” Cheerilee says, sounding unsure. “It’s just food…”
You snort, unable to believe that anyone could say these words and believe them. “Like hell it’s just food. That’s my super-secret homemade tabasco sauce she just stained all over my shirt. I worked pretty damn hard to make that just for this occasion, and I’m not gonna give it up without a fight. Lyler, gimme back my picnic or else.”
“NOPE.” She starts drinking the tabasco sauce straight from the bottle. Apparently this does not bother her. “IT MAKES MY TUMMY WARM AND CUDDLY.”
“Fuck off gimme back my stuff you crazy bag of grass clippings.”
“THIS MEANS WAR ANERN.”
“Seriously I’m not kidding.”
Lyler then unprovokedly squeezes the bottle of tabasco sauce at you and Cheerilee, dousing both of you with it. While you merely get more stains on your shirt, Cheerilee manages to get most of it in her eyes.
“OH MY GOD!” Cheerilee screams. “IT BURNS! AAAAAAAUUGHHHHH!”
Shrieking, she first claws at her eyes with her hooves, then loses it completely and gallops blindly off in a desperate attempt to escape the pain.
“No!” you cry, reaching helplessly towards her. “Cheerilee, look out!”
If only you hadn’t tried to go for a scenic and romantic ‘hilltop’ picnic on a hundred-foot-high cliff. But you did. So Cheerilee falls a hundred feet to a gruesome and terrible death. Then rabid starving timberwolves set upon her corpse and consume it in a matter of seconds, eliminating all possibility of necromancy.
“WHERE DID CHEERY GO,” says Lyler as you stare at the place where Cheerilee disappeared.
“God fucking damn it Lyler,” is all you can manage.
You shake your head and sigh sadly, remembering the event. It wasn’t a total loss, at least: at least you learned that God really, really hates you. There is no one in the world who loves you. Not even Derpy’s radioactive mutant zombie corpse is around anymore. It died from starvation when you wouldn’t let it eat brains.
Perhaps…
Perhaps you will have to go…
...to see Fluttershy…
The thought fills you with horror and dread. You would be betraying your very humanity! Your very soul! You dare not think… and yet, the loneliness crushes you like a tiny cell, forcing you to make a choice.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad...
“Fear not, Anon!” cries a sexy, courageous voice as the door bursts open. “For I have come to save you!”
“Mr. Tingles?” you say stupidly. “Fuck I’m not high enough for this yet hang on.”
After drinking an entire bottle of adrenochrome, you try this again.
Your front door bursts open a second time and you see… Mr. Tingles. The piece of glass that got stuck in Lyler’s head in the chapter that had Berry Punch in it (whatever that chapter was; you’re too fucked up to remember). He is looking sexy and gallant, wearing a tiny suit of armor and waving a flag of broken glass as trumpets play and holy light beams behind him.
You conclude that Mr. Tingles is the piece of broken glass you have been lusting after in your dreams all your life, as you are in fact not a human male named Anon but a flesh-shaped section of the floor with 1,000 eyes and 1,000 mouths that can see into the past, present, and future.
“Make love to me,” you beg him. “You are my hero, Satan. I want to feel you in every molecule of my carbon.”
Mr. Tingles then obliges you and makes love to you. You have ten thousand children right there on the spot even as you spontaneously orgasm from his glassy touch. He turns into a harpsichord and you play him and make beautiful music and all your children applaud.
“Remember me always!” Mr. Tingles cries. “Even when I pass beyond the void of memory and into the land of shadows. I am alive.”
“You must stay,” you protest. “I have never loved a tingle so much as I love your tingles. We shall get married and have children and name them all Cheerilee for the boys and Ketamine for the girls.”
All your glass horse human children are named Joyce though and you go skydiving with them. You yell at Mr. Tingles while you are in the air because it pisses you off. Your body twists into grotesque shapes.
“Why Joyce? Where is that book of horse baby names? I thought we agreed on Spiders Coming Out of Their Eyes.”
Indeed, spiders do come out of their eyes. You scream and run, only to crash into your wall and fall down. The room is a cage. You are caged. The cage is getting smaller. Your flesh is being crushed. Crushed like in one of Fluttershy’s terrible fetishes. You are alone. Alone!
You are the lone human of the universe. Sad, lonely, and alone. Deconstructed, but not dead. Eternal. Time is irrelevant. Space is an eternity. Is eternity your--No, fuck off. Nothing is everything, and everything is nothing. You are one with the void.
But then you remember that you have always been at war with Griffonia. You throw Rarity in the bathtub. Mr. Tingles crawls into your sanguine head and your hands learn the languages of the ancients. Suddenly the entire universal landscape is open to you, and it is made of Fluttershy. Infinite Fluttershy everywhere. So many Fluttershys.
An endless corridor of Fluttershys.
“Hey Anon,” they all say at once. “Are horrendously bad trips your fetish?”
You scream louder than you ever have in your life.
Eventually you wake up in a pile of vomit.
There is no Lyler. You have no dead ex-girlfriends. There are no drugs in your house except for whatever weird horse drug Fluttershy gave you, which seems to have lasted for several days. You’d been snorting ground-up wheaties thinking it was coke. It gave you a bloody nose.
“God damn it Fluttershy,” you say.
Then you hear that god-awful knocking. Christ, can’t she wait and let you relax before dropping her next awful fetish guess on you?
You open the door. “If this even slightly annoys me, I’m calling the police about what you gave me on whatever day it was. And it will annoy me.”
“O-Okay,” says Fluttershy cutely. “I’m pretty sure I’m right this time, though.”
“Well, let’s hear it so I can get around to calling the cops.”
She takes a deep breath and asks, “Are never-ending horrendously bad trips your fetish, Anon?”
That’s when you notice that the sky is raining blood and Fluttershy’s face is melting. Two mares are literally fucking a polar bear right behind her.
“Nope,” you say, and promptly slam the door in her face. “Fuck this shit I’m out.”
“Drat,” comes Fluttershy’s muffled voice as you chug a half a bottle of vodka in about three seconds.
Author's Note
https://www.fimfiction.net/user/56485/the+parasprite
pls no feed
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
"And here's your key!" The mare behind the counter says. "We'll need the first month's rent in just a few weeks. We prefer straight bits, but we can also take a check."
"Of course," Redheart says, casting a wry smile as you take the key. "Apartment 4B, right?"
"That's right."
"Thank you," you say, placing a hand on Redheart's back. "Have a nice night."
You and Redheart step out of the small apartment office and out into the musty city air. The sun is already hidden from view by the many buildings that break the horizon, but the sheer amount of city light keeps the sky lit as though it were early afternoon. That will take some getting used to. It'll be difficult to adjust to a big city after living in a relatively small town for such a long time.
"Well," says Red, following you along the sidewalk. "This is it. A fresh start."
"Yeah," you add, carrying your and her luggage. "Right now? I'm just ready for a good night's rest."
You use your new key to unlock the front entrance to the apartments and begin to ascend the stairs of the apartments. One Floor, Two floors, Three Floors. To your surprise, the whole building is remarkably quiet, if not a bit dusty and smelling of mold treatment chemicals. To their credit, at least they're trying. It's all anyone can do.
You reach the top of the stairs and fumble for the second key on the ring that the mare handed to you. You unlock the door to your apartment and hold the door open for your marefriend. Red steps inside and you follow behind her. You close the door behind you and take a moment to examine the door. You lock the deadbolt immediately. If Fluttershy is following you guys, or heck, even if she isn't, you might as well not take chances. The whole apartment couldn't be much larger than a hotel suite. The kitchen and breakfast area is directly to the left upon entrance, with a bathroom and coat closet to the direct right. The one bedroom is just past that on the right, with a living room/dining area that is directly ahead of the entrance. For the most part, it's a completely open layout space. There's a wall directly in between the kitchen and the main hallway to the living room, creating a sort of 'donut' walking circle around the carpeted apartment. It looks like there's also a window air conditioner!
Of course, there is no furniture. As you should have expected.
"It's cute, if not a bit empty," you say, trying to insert some positive energy to the stagnant air.
"Well, I suppose that's why we have sleeping bags in our bug-out bags," Red sighs, walking through to the bedroom.
You drop the bags by the bedroom door and begin to fumble with the A/C. A little bit of cool, circulating air will help the two of you relax after such a stressful day. You flip the machine on, but it remains dormant, comatose. You idly slap the device, hoping it would inject some life into it. Yet, it remains off. You sigh, shaking your head. Okay, a broken air conditioner is still an air conditioner. It could be worse.
Walking to the bedroom door, you watch as Red walks through the bedroom and pulls open a closet door. A few moths fly out, causing her to recoil slightly.
She deserves so much more than this. She deserves so much better than this.
Red turns to you with a smile. "Looks like we have pets," she says, nodding to the moths that flutter across the room.
"I've always been more of a dog person," you answer, giving a wry smile.
"Don't say that to Fred and George."
"Don't name them!" you say, smile returning to your face. "Then you'll never let them go!"
"Nah," she says with a smile. "They're weaselly ones. I'm sure they'll sneak out and cause all sorts of mischief."
Red approaches you and rests her head against your leg. An uncomfortable silence falls between the two of you.
"It'll get easier soon," you say quietly. "This first week will be the hardest."
"I'll start applying for nursing jobs tomorrow," she says quietly.
"But I thought-"
"We're both going to have to take jobs," she says quietly. "We don't really have a choice and you know it."
You open your mouth to fight her, but your words escape somewhere into thin air. You simply close your eyes and exhale.
"Maybe we should just get some sleep," you answer. "We can sort all of this out tomorrow. I just want to put an end to this horrible day."
Red hums in agreement as she opens her bag and pulls out a small bag and pillow. You grab yours and do the same, laying them in the floor of the windowless bedroom. On the bright said, while it may be stuffy and cramped, it'll stay nice and dark.
The two of you lay out your sleeping bags side by side, and Red smiles to herself.
"We are the worst campers ever."
"You can say that again," you laugh, laying down on top of your bag. The room is way too hot to consider sleeping inside it. But it will give your poor back a little bit of cushioning. Red lays down beside you and places a hoof on your chest as you kick off your shoes and socks.
"We'll get through this," she says. "And it's going to make everything better than it ever has before. No more Fluttershy."
"Yeah, and no more stupid fetish guesses. No more quiet knocks on the door in the morning."
No fear of closing your eyes. That said, there's nothing to do but get some rest. You feel Redheart pull herself in close to you, and you wrap your arms around her. You place your arm under her pillow so it feels like she's using your arms as a bed.
You try to steady your breathing and clear your mind as you fall asleep. However, you swear from two or three floors away, you hear the sound of a crying baby, waking in the night, demanding attention.
Don't think about that.
Don't think about it.
There's no point in expending the energy.
No good it would do anyway.
Just sleep for now, Anon. It'll get easier.
Just give it time.
Author's Note
End Day 1
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You're sitting at your kitchen table, absent-mindedly not giving a single shit. So it's just like every other day. There's absolutely nothing better than you could be doing, sitting at this table, staring into space, waiting for something to happen.
Then there are three gentle knocks at the door.
You get up from the table, walk across the room, then throw the door open to see Flutterbutterstutters. What a mother fucking surprise. Who would have thought that after five years of this bullshit, it never fails to shock you that Fluttershy is on the other side of the goddamn door.
"What the everlasting fuck do you want?" you ask the yellow horse as she smiles proudly at you. Today she's wearing a saddlebag, which means that today is a prop based fetish guess. At least it adds some level of mystery to the whole ordeal. Let's she what she's got.
"I-I think you'll love what I have for you today. I-it's not a fetish guess."
Wait, what?
"Wait, what?" you ask.
"Mhm!" she hums proudly, reaching her face into her saddle bag and pulling out a thermos bottle with her teeth. She twists the 'Mug Topper' off, as well as the cap, and pours a strange, thick green liquid into the cup. She then pushes the mug toward you with her snout, like that homeless dog from the movie about dogs falling in love. You know. All of the Furry Movies.
"I'm not drinking that."
"Why not?" Fluttershy asks.
"That looks like vomit."
"It's not vomit."
"You want me to drink your voimit. That's not my fetish," you say flatly.
"Well, I can cross that off next week," she says happily. "But that's not my puke."
"That's Flutterpuke and you can't convince me otherwise."
Fluttershy sighs and picks up the handle of the mug using her wing-fingers or however the fuck those even work, and takes a big gulp of the stuff. A rosiness grows on her cheeks as she gulps it down happily.
"That's gross," you say. "You're gross."
"There, now try it!" the irritated mare says.
Sadly, you know exactly how this shit goes. She won't get off your porch unless you give in to her stupid request. So you take a deep breath, and realize that there is also a remote chance that drinking this will get you one step closer to the sweet embrace of death.
You take the mug, and take a big gulp.
And nearly throw up all over the mare.
The substance is warm, thick and... almost chunky. It has a remarkable bitterness mixed with a sort of salty-sweetness. But it's also harsh. It slides around in your milk like a coagulated cream. You close your eyes and down the substance before it can rest in your mouth any further.
Sadly, that was also the wrong move, because the aftertaste was arguably worse. It has one of those near 'rancid' smells that you can taste. You know what I'm talking about, something that smells so bad you can taste it, but it's in reverse, that it tastes so bad that you can smell it. You feel it try to force itself back up your throat, as your body physically rejects the substance. You take a deep breath, count to ten, before coming back to your surroundings.
"What, the everlasting fuck, was that?" you growl.
"Did that taste like your cum?" Fluttershy asks innocently. "I-it's my own recipe. A half a cup of creme, coffe... because you drink it a lot, sugar, salt, some minced spinach to match your skin color, and a shot of unfiltered alcohol! I figured it would taste just like you, and I just wanted to make sure."
You feel your hands ball into fists.
"There are so many things wrong with this, but let's start with the basics. What makes you think I know what my cum tastes like?"
"Everyone gets curious at least once," she says reflexively.
An awkward silence falls between you two.
"Okay, it checks out," you say. "But next, My cum is not the color of my skin. I don't know how your weird horse cum works, but if Big Mac is shooting red, then he needs to see a fucking doctor. Also, I'm suing you. Go away."
You slam the door in her face before you decide that you might actually swing a punch at the fucking horse.
Then, your body decides something very critically important without your consent. That it's time to remove this abomination from your system. It looks like it's just another day where you are going to fucking vomit for hours, all thanks to Fucking Fluttershy.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
When your eyes open, you wipe the sweat off your skin and sigh to yourself. Here you are. You're in your new life. Next step: Get out of the country. You rise to your feet and try to stretch the soreness out of your back from a hard night of sleeping on the floor. Your eyes move down to Redheart who sleeps peacefully still. You smile wryly, but decide that letting her sleep in some more is the more polite thing to do than to wake her up with a little 'fun'.
You walk out of the bedroom to your furnatureless apartment. Sadly, it's likely to stay that way, unless you can find something being given away for free. Maybe an old couch or something? At very least it would give Red somewhere to sleep. You walk to the refrigerator and open it.
Sadly, it lies as empty as you'd expect. You just moved in yesterday. Of course there's no food. You don't even have any grounds to make a small cup of coffee. You close the fridge door dejectedly. You could probably run down to a nearby convenience store. Get some free newspapers and some basic necessities. Heck, you guys don't even have toilet paper. That could have been a disaster.
You head to the bedroom, grab some bits, the key to the apartment, and pause. There's something in the corner of the bedroom. You notice it just out of the corner of your eye. You focus on it, and you immediately recognize it. It's a film camera. You walk towards it slowly, then pick it up. You turn the device over in your hands. There, on the floor, is some rapid developed pictures, lying face down. You pick up the pictures one at a time, studying each carefully. With each new picture your heart sinks a little lower into your stomach. Each is a picture of you and Redheart sleeping.
Some pony was clearly in your home last night.
Then, there are three soft knocks at your door. Holding the camera, you walk to the front door, trying to keep your footsteps light. The door to the hallway is clearly still locked. You still have the key. What the fuck is going on here? Did Fluttershy already find where you guys live?
You look out the peephole, and there's nopony standing outside. You take a deep breath.
"You're just hearing things, Anon. It's going to be okay."
You open the door and step out into the hallway. Just at the end of the hallway, you swear you see a dash of pink flash out of sight. You study the hallway of your apartment, but the world stands still as you critically examine your surroundings. Not a door opens. Not a creak is heard. You sigh to yourself. Then you look to your feet.
You find a small stick on the ground.
You pick it up, turning the object over in your hands. You realize what it is from the two bars showing proudly on one side. A pregnancy test.
Closing your eyes, you step back inside your apartment, holding the camera in one hand and the stick in another.
It has to be Fluttershy. She's doing this to antagonize you. You look down to the camera. At very least, it might be a tool you can use in the future. For now... if Fluttershy is going to try to make your life miserable... she's going to have to try a lot harder than that.
You step outside the apartment, leaving the camera inside, and lock up before heading down the hall.
A gnawing fear follows you as you head into the city. If this is only the second day of what she said will be the worst week of your life, what's still to come? You ponder this as you hold the test in your pocket, your mind wandering to dangerous, dark places.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The city bustles with activity as you move through the crowded streets. You spy a small convenience store on the corner, and you step inside, glancing sideways over your shoulder. It's not like you to be paranoid. Maybe it's just the stress of your situation beginning to settle deeper within your throat.
Your fingers fidget with the small bag of bits in your pocket as you walk through the aisles of basic essentials. To your luck, the fruit looks fresh, and cheap. Go figure that in a world of processed foods, the healthy food is not only ripe, but untouched. You grab a few red delicious apples, a couple bananas, then make your way to a different aisle. There's a whole five different kinds of boxes of cereal, most of which are designed for children due to their high sugar content.
'I wonder which of these Red would like,' you wonder, assessing your choices. You blink, looking up to the cashier, who gives you an impatient glare from behind the counter. 'What the fuck is the matter with him? Never seen a Human before?'
Then you blink, and look back down to the cereal.
"Oh, right," you mutter. You grab a box of Sweetie O's, which is basically a cheerios knock off, because everypony likes cheerios. Or at least tolerates them. You grab a carton of milk, and discover that the cartons at the back are actually dated OLDER than the ones up front. Maybe it's just your lucky day or something. You snag some plastic cutlery, plates, bowls, and cups, then head to the front counter.
"Find everything?" The stallion grunts. I take a moment to look him up and down, his cutiemark has a paintprush and a color palatte as his special talent. That's rough man. I'm sure when there are hundreds of artists in a large city, it can be hard to make how special you are stand out against a sea of other people who are also special.
"Yeah. Thanks," you say politely.
"What sorta creature are ya?" he asks, ringing out each item in turn.
"A human. It's sort of a new thing."
"Never seen a human before," he says, ringing plates and utencils. "They from a new country?"
"You could say that. It's pretty hard to get to. We-"
"Nine bits," he says, cutting me off.
You give him the bits, he bags the items, then puts the recipt in the bag.
"Have a good day," he says dully.
"You too," you respond, before taking the bag and walking out.
Well, he was a pleasure to talk to. You grab one of the free newspapers with the words "Help Wanted" proudly on the front and exit the small store. You drag your feet slightly as you head back to the new apartment. In someways, you already miss the bright, cheery mornings that were in Ponyville. While some days, you'd just be a total asshole for the sake of being an asshole, sometimes their genuine happy-go-lucky attitude was what you needed to find a reason to smile. The whole atmosphere was simply... wholesome.
Yet now, you have nothing of the sort. You head into your apartment building, where the lady who handed the keys off to you last night is sweeping the entryway rug.
"Good Morning," you say to her.
She smiles patiently back at you and continues to work away, only answering with a simple nod. She must be busy. Figures. Such is life in the city. People are closed off to their own lives, their own bubbles, and their own agendas. At least it allows you and Red some privacy.
You ascend the stairs, and your mind can only wander to what Fluttershy could possibly do next? If you're honest with yourself, hope isn't really high right now. You'd hardly call the conditions you live in right now... great. Heck, you guys are going to have to wash and clean plastic utensils and be gentle with them in order to have something to eat with or drink with. God forbid that a knife or fork breaks...
But for now, that's a matter of working a step at a time. The focus is to get out of the country. And this is a good place to do it. Equestria may be somewhat landlocked, but Baltimare is on the Eastern edge of Equestria, right beside the Celestial Sea. All the two of you need to do is board a boat with proper paperwork, and the two of you could go anywhere in the world. Anywhere. Who knows what you could find past the griffons or even further?
That's all one step at a time though.
For now, you step off of the stairs onto your floor and head down the hallway. You fish out your key and put it into the lock and turn.
There's zero resistance.
The door is unlocked. Or rather, was already unlocked.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Change of Plans - Red Returns 10
When you open the door to your apartment, your ears start on high alert.
"Red?" you call out into the apartment.
You step inside and close the door behind you. Then, you decide to lock it. If somepony is in here, they aren't getting out easily. If it's Fluttershy... maybe she won't get out at all.
Pushing that dark thought aside you listen carefully for any sort of movement or sound, but the whole place is eerily quiet, even as you step into the Living Room. You turn to the kitchen and you find a photo on the counter by the Camera you found earlier. It lies facedown, and a pencil is sitting beside the new picture.
You walk towards the picture, blood pulsing through your body faster than your breath can keep up. You hear your heartbeat as you move to the counter and pick up the photo.
At the bottom of the photo reads in sprawling cursive writing. "You'll regret leaving Ponyville. Now I have to accelerate your week. This is your final day. <3"
The photo shows a white mare with a bag over her head, hooves tied together, and her limbs blurry, as if she were struggling against her bonds while the photo were taken. You drop the photo as if it were scalding your hand. It flutters down to the floor slowly as your mind begins to race.
That bitch kidnapped Redheart. Now what is she going to do? If you try to find her, you could be waking directly into some sort of trap set up by Fluttershy. On the other hand, you have nothing to go off of. No address. The picture looks like it was taken in this apartment. In the bedroom.
The Bedroom.
You turn, seeing the bedroom door closed. You stride accross the room, feeling your heart clogging your throat. You push the door open.
Right in the middle of the floor is a noticible trail of blood, the way it fades into the carpet makes you think the trail was from dragging the victim. Probably Redheart. Lying on the covers where you and Redheart had slept just last night is a picture frame. A chil runs up your spine as you try to cross the room and smell the distinct smell of copper in the air.
As you reach the makeshift bed, you kneel down and pick up the framed photo.
It's a photo of you and her, sleeping in your bed, back in Ponyville.
That must be where Fluttershy is taking her. To your home. Fluttershy has invaded your own home, and probably set up some sort of trap there.
Is it worth it? This is Red you're talking about. Of course it's worth it. But the signs here are obvious. Fluttershy is boxing you into a final ultimatum corner. You could use this opportunity to completely buck the system. You could run. Right now. You could try to break border patrols. You could start a new life with Diamond Dog society or something. You could get so far away from Equestria that Fluttershy could never touch you. And she just gave you the biggest head start possible.
But. If anything happened to Redheart, you'd never forgive yourself.
You pick up the pillow she slept on just last evening and inhale a deep breath of the scent that still clung to it. You close your eyes.
Red would probably tell you to just go. Go now. Escape that yellow menace and finally be rid of all this nonsense.
But you'll just have to beg for her forgiveness.
You grab your bag and begin to stuff your things back in. This is it. The final straw. Fluttershy has crossed the final unforgivable line. You need to get the next train back to Ponyville. But before you go, there is one thing that the city has better access to that Ponyville doesn't...
Author's Note
Sorry for the Delay. Let's finish this, shall we?
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
Where there is weeping, and gnashing of teeth
Windows - Red Returns 12
The train speeds quickly accross the tracks to Ponyville, and your limbs feel weightless. Your body feels empty.
You open your suitcase, knowing that there's one thing still left to do.
"Hey man, you got the bits?" the stallion asked in the back alley of the city. He was tall, strong, and wore a hooded sweatshirt with a saddlebag.
"Yeah, how can I know I can trust you?" you say.
"Man, you're the one who wanted this on such short notice. We don't usually do rush jobs. Especially for some schmuck who isn't even in our circles."
"Whatever," you say, feeling for the knife in your pocket, just in case. It was nothing fancy. A steak knife you stole from a restaurant as you called numbers and made plans. "Let me see it."
Then, he pulls out a small bag and opens the flap before tossing it in front of you. There, at the top, sitting on top of another small box, is a six shot revolver.
"Fifteen are in the box."
"Just fifteen?" you ask. "That wasn't what we agreed."
"What in Tartarus do you want?" he growls. "I should just take off right now--"
"Fine, whatever." You reach into your other pocket and toss him a bag of bits.
You pick up the bag and throw it over your shoulder as the stallion looks over his newly acquired bits.
"Sixty fuckin bits?" he grumbles.
"It's over double what I would pay in a store for this shit," you retort, turning around. "Plus, it's the last of my money."
"Bullshit," the stallion says. "You've got enough for your precious train ticket. You've said as much. Fork it over."
You keep walking out of the alley and into the sunlight, calling the stallion's bluff.
Sitting on top of your clothes is the gun. It's currently unloaded and wrapped within a black t-shirt. The box was fine to pass as is. You open it and look inside. Sure enough. 15 bullets. At least he kept his word on that.
If you get out of this safely, you may not be able to go back to that city again, but you could care less who you've pissed off or what debt you may owe. This is more important.
You're going to save Nurse Redheart if it's the last thing you do. Even if someone doesn't come out alive. Even if she hates you for how you do it.
She doesn't deserve this. She's too kind. Too gentle... Too...
Her own words echo in your mind as you close the suitcase with a snap. You'll likely go to jail for this. No. Worse. Ponies just don't get murdered in Equestria. They just don't. Magic is stolen. Love is taken. Power executed. But even the most devious of villians in this world are not executed. Death simply isn't an option for ponies.
Guns are a method of hunting for food. Hunting accidents are a thing, but evil never truly crosses the mind of a pony. Not the evil that takes a pony's life.
After today, you will become the number one enemy to Equestria. Taking the life of one of the six Elements takes away not only life from this world, but a degree of protection. One of the six that are necessary to unleash the power of the Tree of Harmony will be snuffed out.
Good riddance. You'll welcome your hell with open arms.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The sky is dark when the train arrives in Ponyville with a screeching halt. Your limbs move without thought, without feeling, as you take your suitcase and exit the train. Noises cloud the silence that fill your mind. Ponies bustle to and fro across the platforms. A mare reunites with her husband a little filly who is overjoyed to see her once more. Your eyes sweep away with envy. Jealousy. You blink your eyes and continue moving forward. It's important not to focus your emptiness, your anger, your apathy towards anyone who simply does not deserve it.
The only person who will feel your wrath is Fluttershy.
The plan is overly simple. Too simple, maybe. Walk in, with the pistol concealed, but loaded. From there, once you approach her, there's any number of things that could happen. But if these years enduring Fluttershy's torture told you one thing, it's that she wants you to come willingly.
Like rearing an animal, she wants to break you down until you are putty in her hands, and then she'll build you back up into something that she deems fit. Her lover. But on top of that, she wants you to -want- to do this.
Likely, she'll present you with two evils. The lesser of which would be submitting to her, and Redheart could go free or something. The most important thing is to ensure that Redheart is safe. If you can get Redheart out of the room, then it's simple.
You shoot Fluttershy until she stops breathing.
However, there's another possibility. Fluttershy is preparing for you to arrive with this sort of intent. This makes matters difficult. Whether she has a trained animal ready to subdue you, or something even more devious, you won't know. Then there's only one other option.
Take away the only thing she wants in this world. You.
This is about you. It has always been about you, from the very beginning. You do not belong in Equestria. It's likely without you arriving in Equestria, Fluttershy's perverted inner desires would never manifest in this way. Purely reasoning it out, you are the link here that needs to be removed to return the natural order.
Fluttershy has been hard on you, but not other ponies. Which... means it would make sense she wouldn't go after Redheart if you killed yourself, right in front of her. Instead, she wouldn't know what to do with herself. But that doesn't matter.
If Redheart is safe, that is what matters.
You blink and you're halfway home. You stop, letting the moonlight wash over you in the dark town. Your mind pauses, recognizing where you are. You turn to the left, shifting the weight on your feet.
You stand outside of a small, dark home. It nearly blends into the rest of the town, with its straw roof and basic amenities. You already know that it's only one floor. One small bathroom. One small kitchen. One small bedroom. All of the homes like this are the same in layout. However, that's not why this home makes your arms heavy. It's not why you feel your legs shake beneath you.
This is where Red lives. This is her rented home.
You feel your hand tighten around your suitcase. You have your keys in your pocket, ready to unlock your own home.
However, maybe you should stop... before it all ends. One last time.
Author's Note
Destined as the servant to the night where your moon dreams of the dirt and the sharp tongue of your zealous will is only congruent with the salt in your mouth and the approaching eulogy of the world
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Sunbather - Red Returns 14
Author's Note
Held my breath and drove through a maze of wealthy homes. I watched how green the trees were. I watched the steep walkways and the white fences. I gripped the wheel. I sweated against the leather. I watched the dogs twist through the wealthy garden. I watched you lay on a towel in grass that exceeded the height of your legs. I gazed into reflective eyes. I cried against an ocean of light.
Sunbather - Red Returns 14
Your steps are quiet, weightless as you move to Red's home. You place your hand on the doorknob, and turn. To your surprise, the door is unlocked and cool to the touch. You push the door open.
The simple rentable home provides you no comfort, no warmth, no light as you step inside. You pause, examining where so many positive memories were made. You step inside, leaving the door open, and your eyes move to the couch. You remember your love lying in your lap, snoring gently as the last few moments of a movie played out. You simply caressed her mane and let her sleep after her rough week at the hospital.
You move forward and turn your gaze to the kitchen. You can still faintly smell the hint of pancakes in the air from only a few weeks ago to surprise her with breakfast in bed. You blink a single tear that runs down your cheek and down onto the hard floor. A dread fills inside you, knowing that at this moment, it could mean that you will never experience that again. You may never be able to have Nurse Redheart lie in your lap and just gently sleep. Now these memories tease the edges of your memory, just out of reach, reminding you of opportunities that you will never get to have. Something torn away from you without even the slightest chance of foraging your own way.
You place your suitcase on the kitchen table. Then it's decided. This is where you will go, after all of this is done. Either you'll be coming back here alone, and this can serve as your own reminder of what you've lost. Or you will come back here with Red, and make every single one of those dreams and memories come to life. In fact, you'll create new ones. You and Red will live a wonderful, uninhibited life from Fluttershy as the greatest 'Fuck you' of them all. You'll grow old together and-
A image peeks into your mind as clear as the purest crystals. You play on the floor with a small satyr girl. Half pony, Half Human. Her mane is pink and pony lower half as white as snow. You and her make exaggerated voices to accompany her dolls as you dream of dinosaurs on the moon, feasting on cakes made of cheese. Red watches on from the kitchen table, smiling and sipping a cup of coffee, smiling. But it's not an average smile. It's a smile that spells a story of contentment. Of overcoming struggle. Of fulfillment. That in that moment, she'll never ask for anything else. Because she has all she could ever want.
You place your hands on the table in order to hold yourself together. Tears fall from your eyes and drip onto the cheap wood.
You will never give her that. In fact, you may not return here at all.
You open the suitcase and unwrap the revolver. Opening the chamber, you load six bullets into the gun, then pocket the remaining bullets. You wipe the tears from your eyes and take a deep breath.
This is it. There's no going back.
You're going to kill Fluttershy, or die trying. For Red.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Dream House - Red Returns 16
And then, it stands before you. Your home. The lights are all on, but no shadows move across the windows of the two floor house. You take a deep breath and move forward. Do you go through the front? Do you sneak around the back?
Fluttershy likely has a plan for everything. There's no point in trying to be stealthy. With her animal friends, you're more than likely being watched as it is.
Almost as if your mind was read, a small flock of birds fly from the roof of your home, their shadows eclipsing the moon above you. You nod your head. There's no point in trying to do this quietly. You take a deep breath then set in motion once more. You watch as a tall, hulking shadow makes it's way into your living room.
That's likely the bear. Interesting. The bear is going to be escourting you. That makes things easier.
You move to your front door and gently turn the handle. The handle refuses to move at your command. You pause. Of course Fluttershy wouldn't make this easy. She wants you to play her game. She wants to break you down slowly. Bend you to her will.
You knock on the door softly. Three times.
A shuffle of movement comes from inside as heavy thumps echo from inside. The door clicks, and then opens slowly. There, on the other side of the door is Harry the Bear. He growls down at you, then steps to the side allowing you to pass.
This is it. You could pull out your gun now, and take down the bear. But then what? Give away your weapon and motive? No. That could give Fluttershy time to level the playing field. She likely doesn't think you're coming with a weapon that's ranged. Thus, the bear would take you down in the case of a sudden move.
Right now isn't the right time. It's better to keep the element of surprise.
You step inside your own home, and close the door behind you. The bear stares at you as you step away from it. Your gut instinct was to lock the door behind you, but it would arise suspicion from the animal in front of you that could incapacitate you with a single swipe of it's deadly claws.
The bear nods toward the staircase, and you nod, then take a few quiet steps forward. As you do, you look at your home.
Your home is trashed. Tables and chairs are upended and torn apart. The couches and furnature are ripped apart and television screen smashed into a pile of broken tubes and glass. Your books are scattered across the floor, shelves barren, keepsakes shattered.
Each step brings the crunching of glass as you place your hand on the banister and ascend the stairs. Your ears strain for any signal or sign of movement. Yet all you hear is the shifting of weight behind you as the bear follows closely, blocking your way out. You take a deep breath and try to act as natural as possible as you continue on.
You reach the top of the stairs, and move down the hallway. There, on the left, your bedroom door is open. The bathroom and spare room doors closed tightly. You walk forward quietly, memorizing the way the gun is holstered in the back of your pants so you can grab it easily without fumbling. You step into your bedroom.
There, on the bed, are two mares. One, white with a long pink mane. Redheart is bound tightly, and gagged. Tears stream from her eyes as she shakes her head wildly as you step inside.
"Right there is far enough," mutters the voice of your stalker.
Fluttershy sits up in your bed, holding a knife that gleams in the moonlight streaming through your bedroom window. On the floor, shattered into a thousand pieces, is the framed photo of you and Redheart.
"The door please, Harry?"
The bear moves inside your room, and closes the door behind you.
This is it. Do you pull the gun now, fire at Fluttershy, then turn to take out the bear? That's the best way to ensure Red doesn't get stabbed. But, if you miss, then Red is fucked. Would the bear kill Red after killing you? What motivation would it have? It wouldn't let Red GO by any means, but would it want to -kill- her?
"You've irritated me a lot, Anon," Fluttershy says calmly. "That's no way to treat the mother of your child."
You remain silent as she rises to her hooves.
"But, I am nothing if not patient. Frustrated, but patient. So, I'm going to give you a choice. You confess your love for me, then we consummate our love, right here, for your ex-lover to watch. And then she may leave. Safe and sound. Or, she dies, and I take you by force."
She pauses, then looks to Harry.
"I truly wish it never turned out this way. But you just had to fall in love with some stupid tramp. Look at her, Anon. Really look at her. Can't you see her? See her for who she really is? Trotting up and down the streets of Ponyville, whoring herself for all to see? She sucks off every stallions cock she sees in her mind. Every mare she speaks with is another night of hot, torrid passion when you're not looking. It's not right. You deserve better than the lowly trash on the street."
She nods to herself then looks back to you with a wide smile.
"Call it tough love, Anon. This is for your own good. No other pony in town could be a better mother than me. No other pony in town is as caring or kind as me. It's a match made in heaven, Anon. Stallions would kill for a mare like me. You should feel lucky. You should feel blessed . But it's fine. I'll forgive everything. Every last punch. Every last kick. Every last mean and hateful word. If you just give yourself to me. Fully. Truely. And we can go on, happily. Everything will be wonderful. Finally, we can both be happy. Don't you want that, Anon?"
You pause, then take a step forward.
"Yes," you mutter.
Red screams against the gag, and kicks against her restraints. Fluttershy smiles widely. A horror lies behind her eyes that twists and turns wildly against the contstraints of her mind. A chill runs down your spine as her eyes undress you. Violate you. Consume you.
"Oh, Anon. I knew you would see reason," she exclaims, leaping off the bed, her wings unfurling naturally. "Now we can finally be happy. Just like we always planned. Just like we've always-"
This is it.
You step back and your hand reaches down the back of your pants. You pull the gun. You aim at Fluttershy and pull the trigger.
Your arm jerks from the recoil. A loud bang splits through the room, your ears ring out loudly, mixed with screams. A stream of red flies through the room as you turn on the spot. The bear lunges for you, teeth exposed. You pull the gun towards the bear whose teeth reach for your arm. You push the gun into his mouth. You feel his warm, moist breath.
You pull the trigger again. Your arm tugs backward. The screeching grows louder, splitting your eardrums. The bear falls, a splotch of blood circling a hole in the wall fills your vision.
Then, the room is still. Fluttershy lies still on the ground. The bear doesn't move. Your eyes move to Red, who lies on the bed her mouth moving, but no sound coming out.
You step on Fluttershy's hoof and take the knife from her. You cut through the rope holding her, and she pulls her arms away and wraps herself around you. Her body trembles at your touch as your hearing slowly returns. Sobs fill the room as Redheart tightly grabs your frame.
It's done. It's over.
The nightmare is over.
Author's Note
"I'm dying."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Irresistable - Red Returns Finale
Author's Note
Irresistable - Red Returns Finale
"It's done," you mutter. You toss the gun to the bed and wrap your arms around Red. "It's all over. She can't hurt us anymore."
She clutches tightly to you, feeling your skin nearly tear at the strength of her grip.
"I-... I just want to go home, Anon. I just want to go. Please. Let's go. Please," she begs.
You pick her up in your arms, cradling her small form almost like a child.
"Okay, Red," you whisper soothingly. "Let's go home."
You stand up straight and move to the bedroom door, your eyes warily watching the bear, who lies still on the floor, dark purple blood pouring out the back of his head. You close your eyes and breathe in the coppery air around you.
You'll likely go to jail. This is it. In the morning, the two of you will be on the run again. Nothing will ever be the same anymore.
You open the door and step out of your room.
You hear a moan behind you. You turn,
Your body freezes. Your muscles lock into place. The breath in your lungs grow still.
"Anon?" Red wheezes, her throat shattered from screaming and crying.
Her eyes bury into your soul. Her eyes hold you locked in a trance.
Throw her down the stairs. it commands.
"No," you say under your breath.
However, as you fight the movement of your body. You feel your hands try to raise Red over your head. The mare in your arms leaps out, then backs away from you.
Enter the room. Lock the door.
"Anon, what are you doing?" Red says.
Your body moves inside.
"I love you," you say before your arms slam the door in her face. The door locks. Hooves bang and crash against the door as you turn to Fluttershy, who's eyes hold you with her hooves around your neck.
Grab the gun.
"No."
Grab. The. Gun.
Your steps move in a shuffle to the bed, each step shooting static waves of pain through your senses. Your hand grabs the gun.
Kiss me
Your body moves itself to Fluttershy's side. You kneel before her. You place your lips on hers.
Pull the Trigger.
"Never forget," she whispers. "If I can't have you. Nopony can."
"Go fuck yourself," you growl back.
Your arm moves involuntarily. The barrel presses coldly against your temple.
Then, an ear piercing bang shatters the air one final time.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
!|\\|!+!4+3 |23800+ |>|20+0(01
Welcome to Universe Monitor: FSwiYP 2.0
cmd: universe status
Checking Universe - This will take a minute ....
Universe Status: Active - No Anomaly Detected
cmd: plot status
Checking Universe Plot - This will take a minute ....
Plot Status: Finale - Character interaction impossible.
cmd: character status
Checking Character Status - This will take a minute ....
Anonymous - TERMINATED
cmd: character Status 'Redheart'
Checking Status of 'Redheart' - This will take a minute ....
ERROR - PROCESS CANNOT CONTINUE. POSSIBLE UNIVERSE CORRUPTION
cmd: universe reset
Now Resetting Universe ....
ERROR - PROCESS CANNOT CONTINUE. CANNOT FORCE UNIVERSE RESET. POSSIBLE UNIVERSE CORRUPTION.
cmd: universe reset -force
Now Force Resetting Universe ....
ERROR - PROCESS CANNOT CONTINUE.
cmd: character Status 'Redheart'
Checking Status of 'Redheart' - This will take a minute ....
No Character named 'Redheart' Found. Did you mean 'Rarity'?
cmd: character status
Checking Character Status - This will take a minute ....
Anonymous - TERMINATED
cmd: revive -all
Reviving all characters ....
Resurrection complete.
cmd: plot reset -3
Resetting plot to 'Fetish Guesses'
Checking Character Status - This will take a minute ....
Anonymous - ALIVE
cmd: monitor &#%$^@
Monitoring movement and actions of '&#%$^@'
ERROR: Character Untracable
cmd: erase &#%$^@
I will destroy you for what you've done.
cmd: erase &#%$^@
ERROR - Cannot Erase 'ERRORed '
cmd: teleport &#%$^@ 19734
Character teleported to 'Saddle Arabia'
cmd: exit
Author's Note
Rebuilding World....
10% ....
23% ....
43% ....
67% ....
91% ....
100% - Anomaly still detected. Proceed with Caution. Build may be unstable.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
It's another sunny day in Equestria. And fuck man, you have the worst headache. Migranes are the fucking worst, I swear. They just come completely out of nowhere sometimes, and it just makes you feel like death.
You rise from bed and head to the bathroom. You down some asprin. Shave your face. Take a shit. Take a nice, warm shower. And soon enough, fifteen minutes later, you feel wonderful! Well, wonderful is an overstatement. But the worst of the headache is gone.
You head back to your room. Toss on a pair of pants and a shirt, and decide it's time for your lazy day. Hell, maybe you'll pay a visit to Rarity. Before she says 'Daahhhhling' for the fifteenth time, she's not so bad on the eyes. She's the kinda pony whose best enjoyed with a pair of earplugs. Most of the time you just have to say Mhm and nod, and she'll find no end of uses for you. That booty though, man. That booty though. Does she do pilates or some shit? Do ponies have pilates?
You head downstairs, get a loaf of bread out of the cupboard and toss two into your toaster.
Turning to your fridge, you nearly trip. You look down, and there's a book in your kitchen. Why the fuck is there a book in your kitchen? If this is Fluttershy's bullshit, I swear.
Sure enough, there are three knocks on the door, and you growl under your breath.
"Really? This is the third freakin time this week!"
You head to the door and throw it open, sure enough, there's a cute yellow pegasus on the other side, hiding behind her mane. Her face is flushed a pure scarlet as she works up the courage to speak.
"What is it Fluttershy?" you ask patiently.
Listen. You get it, Fluttershy has a massive crush on you. Whatever. The way to profess your love isn't by asking you what your favorite sex thing is.
"U-um. I-I. Uh," she stutters in her signature way.
"Come on, just spit it out. Let's get this over with," you say impatiently.
"A-are... Are Rimjobs your fetish?" Fluttershy asks. "T-there's nothing wrong with butt-stuff."
"One. I wouldn't like a hoof, finger or anything back there. Much less a tongue. And two, No, not in reverse either. And lastly, what the fuck, Fluttershy. Do you really think that coming to me and asking about what sex things I like is going to make me like you? I've told you. I just don't feel that way about you."
She pauses, quietly staring up at you.
"And, I'm going to be really honest here. This is really straining our friendship. I'm feeling... kinda objectified."
She looks down to the ground and sullenly walks off.
You sigh to yourself and close the door behind you. You grab the book from your kitchen floor and put it back on your bookshelf. That's still weird, but not worth thinking about. Not without a cup of coffee and some peanut butter toast.
And hopefully, today Fluttershy got the picture. It would be aggravating if this just kept going on. You'd hate to lose your temper on such a nice mare.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
It's another lovely day in Equestria. The dogs are barking incessantly outside. You think that's probably filly screaming... just to scream? What the fuck girls?! People are trying to fucking sleep around here.
What's your goddamn problem?!
Uuuggghhh.
You know what? Fuck it. Today is a lazy kind of day. It's the weekend. You've fucking earned it. You can say fuck a lot. You can take 3 hour baths and watch movies. You can lounge on the couch eating cheeze-its and binging terrible horror because you are equivalent to that great shit you have after having a bunch of greasy food.
So you get out of bed, throw on some sweat pants, and just say fuck it. No triple S. No shitting. No showering. No shaving. No brushing your teeth. Today is a day for "Fuck".
Then there are three gentle knocks on the door.
Maybe "Fuck" isn't the best word for today.
Groaning as you head down the stairs, you wonder what terrible fucking guess Fluttershy must have in store for you. One thing's for sure. She's creative sometimes.
You cross the room with a shuffle of feet on creaky hardwood, then throw the door open. Sure enough, the pony who is most susceptable to dying of jaundice is on the other side, beaming up at you, hiding behind her hair. It would almost be cute if she didn't try to feed you things that are filled with her fluids.
"G-good Morning, Anon," Fluttershy says quietly. "I-I hope I'm not bothering you. I promise it'll just be a second."
"I guess not? At least, not more than usual. The whole, you being alive thing, is annoying enough. Just get it over with you fucking cuntwaffle."
"O-oh. U-uhm."
She then cocks her head towards you and breathes out. A pervasive scent fills your nostrils. Dog Shit that had been sitting in pickle juice for five days, and then marinated in jockstraps, blended in a food processor and then served as a drizzle over brussel sprouts.
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, FLUTTERSHY. OH MY GOD."
"I-is morning breath your fetish?"
"WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU GODDAMN HORSES?!"
You slam the door in her face and try to catch your breath. But you can't. The smell has shoved up your nose, down your throat, and onto your tongue. You feel the pit of your stomach clench.
Okay, you know what? On second thought? Maybe proper dental hygiene is important, because if there's one thing that you learned today, kissing a horse in the morning sounds fucking awful.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The warm water of the shower drips against your face and runs down your body. It's strange how a warm liquid running down your body can be almost... theraputic. The water doesn't strike you with much force, so it isn't quite a massage. It's warm, but not much warmer than if you wore a sweatshirt, which arguably would envelop you into a tight embrace. Heck, without scrubbing, the water doesn't even wash away all of the sweat, dirt, and toxins that build up on the outside of your body.
But, the water feels good. Soothing. Releving, in fact. In this shower, you can let the issues of your mind fall away for just a moment. Once the water is gone, the tension will be back. But, for now, this moment is worth relishing. Right now, you know that everything will be all right. The water brings peace. Calm.
Then you hear three loud knocks from your door downstairs.
And now that tightness in your upper back returns.
"LA LA LA. I CAN'T HEAR YOOOOUUUUU," you sing loudly to the shower.
But who are you kidding? The knocking continues. You can't get away from your problems, just ease them off your mind for a moment. The sooner you get done with what's stressing you out, the sooner you can step forward to the next moment of relaxation.
You kill the water, throw on a robe, throw on a pair of slippers, then head downstairs.
You toss open the door, and on the other side is that pony who never fails to make your day more exotic. Erotic? No. Definately not. That's not the word.
"What? What the fuck do you want?"
"H-hi, Anon. Uhm. I-I have a strange one today.... s-so. Could you be just a little patient with me?" she asks, her face hiding behind her mane and tail hanging low.
"No."
"Pleease?" she begs, her cheeks turning pink.
"Fine."
"U-uhm. S-so. Today's guess is Crushing so..."
And then your gut drops. You know what crushing is. It's in your folder of "Things I won't admit I'd fapped to and then hated myself for." What the fuck is she going to do? Crush a squirrel under her hooves? Push you down and crush your jewels?!
You take a step back as Fluttershy takes a deep breath.
"Anon, I have a crush on you."
Silence.
"Wait, what?"
"There, I did it," she says, smiling to herself. "I finally expressed my feelings."
In that moment, you're taken off guard. This tiny pony in front of you put herself out there and expressed her feelings for you. This... this wasn't a guess at all. She is actually trying to start some sort of genuine romance.
She's not a bad pony. Hell, you might even call her kind. Isn't that worth at least one date?
However, that's not really 'you' is it?
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY," you shout at her.
"W-what?"
"GROSS. YOUR FEELINGS ARE GROSS."
"Oh shoot!"
As Fluttershy pouts, she stomps a hoof, idly crushing a nearby ant. For some reason, your pants seem to feel strangely tight. Oh god damnit. Of course that did something for you. Fucking thanks, body.
Fluttershy's face pales in horror. She picks up the ant in her hooves, tears welling in her eyes.
"O-oh. Oh no! Poor Mr. Ant! It's okay! I can help you!"
And with that, her wings unfurl and she flutters off without saying goodbye. You slam the door and walk inside.
"Well, I guess that happened. Time to go beat off to weird porn again."
And so, you went and beat off. It was pretty great until the end, then you wondered what happened to make you so fucked up.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
It's another average day in Equestria... but today feels... special. Today has some sort of special significance about it that you can't quite put your finger on. It's almost as if the universe around you has some sort of hand in creating this day before you. That's unnerving in it's own way. Is there some sort of creator who can dip their hands into the well of creation and impact this world to fit their own ends? What does this mean as far as your existance? What are you? Who are you?
You are Anonymous.
But enough extentialism for one day. That should be left for someone who is actually knowledgable, talented, and more popular to ponder. Instead, today, let's simply start by getting out of bed. While the world may feel it's unraveling at the seams, it could simply be the anxiety getting to you.
You throw on some pants and head downstairs. You start a pot of coffee, which always hit you as strange. Why would you make a full pot of coffee every morning since you've gotten here? It's not like you share with anyone.
Ooph. That line hit you a bit harder than it meant to. But. Uh. Yeah. You only drink two cups. Maybe three on a bad day.
Then, there are three knocks on your door. A part of you wishes you just got your ass out of bed instead of contemplating the universe. At least then you'd have your own cup of coffee to sip as you endure Fluttershy's guess.
With a sigh, you meander over to the door and throw it wide. To your surprise you find not one, but two mares on the other side.
Of course, there's Fluttershy. That's to be expected. But to your surprise, the other mare could have been a time capsule of Fluttershy. It was as if Fluttershy had grown old and had a meaningful, quiet relationship somewhere in the clouds where she could be happy. There's a certain radiance about this mare. A beauty that cannot be captured within a picture. A certain calming, caring demeanor that made Fluttershy's kindness seem as if it were merely a shoddy replica of the original.
"Why hello," you say warmly to the new mare. She blushes involuntarily, sending a rush through your veins. My god she is cute.
"Good Morning, Anon. This is my Mom--"
"Why hello, Mrs. Shy. OR would it happen to be Miss Shy?"
Mrs. Shy chuckles, stuttering over her words as her cheeks turn the same muted scarlet as her hair.
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Anon," she says.
"So, Anon, I brought my Mom here for today's guess."
"What guess, dear?" Mrs. Shy asks.
"Wait, you didn't WARN her, Fluttershy?" you ask your stalker.
"Mom, I'm sorry."
And then, Fluttershy shoves her tongue so deep down her mom's throat that you'd think she was trying to save her mother from choking in some weird perverted way that only Hentai would make work. Mrs Shy waves her hooves wildly as you pull her daughter off of her.
"Fluttershy what the hell is your PROBLEM! That's your MOTHER!"
"I-is incest your fetish?" she pants.
"Fluttershy!" Mrs Shy exclaims. "That's... we raised you better than this!"
"Mrs Shy, I'm so sorry that happened to you. Would you like to come inside? I have some coffee brewing."
"Why yes. Thank you, Anon. At least there are still SOME kind ponies here in Equestria," she says glaring back at her daughter. "We will speak about this with your father when we get home."
Fluttershy's Mom moves past you into your home as you smile and look down at Fluttershy shaking your head.
"How could you..."
"But, I just..." Fluttershy pouts, panic in her voice.
You begin to close the door behind you as you peek your head out. But before you close it you whisper to her softly.
"I'm going to fuck your mom. Byyee~"
The door closes as Fluttershy growls, gritting her teeth.
"Alright, Anon. If this is how you want to play this game, fine. I've been restraining myself until now anyway."
Fluttershy turns tail and gallops off, tears in her eyes, an anger in her heart, and a plan quickly developing.
The universe smiles down at you, judging you. Awaiting a decision. As if all of this were just some sort of play being directed from the balcony.
Author's Note
more details here: https://www.patreon.com/Flutterpriest
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You stand in the middle of your home, critically examining your surroundings. It's felt like years in this home. Maybe it's time for a change. You've always have the stairs right ahead of the front door, kitchen to the left, living room to the right, bedroom and storage room upstairs and the bathroom upstairs.
Maybe you should try putting the couch on the tile floor, or something. Who fucking knows, it's your goddamn house. Maybe you want a television in front of the shitter.
Actually, that's not a bad idea. Then it would truely be the "Throne" of the home.
There's three knocks on your front door, and you wonder to yourself it it might be wise to get rid of doors entirely. As in, turning them into walls. You could probably get groceries and work delivered to you. Then you don't have to open the door for Fluttershy.
Then again, she'd likely just come in a window or something. Or worse, she'd cum in a window. That'd take forever to clean.
You snicker to yourself for your comedic genuis.
You open the front door and Fluttershy's standing on the other side, whincing in pain.
"G-good Morning, Anon," she whispers to you in her normal courtship ritual. "I-I have a new fetish today."
"Okay," you groan, leaning against the door frame. "What's the flutterguess for today?"
Butterhush moans, but not in the sexy way... the painful way. She turns around, placing her backside towards you, then lifts her tail.
You nearly gag at the sheer amount of bruising around her privates. You've seen Fluttershy's privates more times than you'd like to admit. That's not bragging, although some folks would believe differently. Rather, it's a side-product of repeated sexual harassment. You could be considered an art expert of Pony Pussies because of how much you've been exposed to. Once again, that's not bragging, it's deep mental scarring.
However, Her normally yellow behind is deep black and blue. Her lips and walls are a deep red, even dripping a slightly pinkish fluid.
"I-is Vagina abuse your fetish?" she asks.
"JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. WHAT DID YOU DO?"
"Well, I took a hammer--"
"NOPE. NOPE. HOLD ON."
You jog to your phone and dial the local hospital. The phone rings as you put it to your ear.
"Hello, Ponyville Hospital?" says a cool, female voice from the other side of the phone.
"Hello, yes? I need an ambluance sent to the house of Anonymous the Human? I need to report a case of High-Impact Sexual Violence."
"... This line isn't for prank calls sir."
And then the line clicks and returns to dial tone. You look down at the phone in your hands in disbelief.
"Well, what a bunch of assholes."
You walk back to the door, where Fluttershy stands, tears welling in her eyes.
"It hurts," she mutters.
"Not my fetish."
Then you slam the door right in her penis pouch. With a loud yelp, Fluttershy slowly limps her way down the path of your front lawn and out of sight.
Well then, back to redecorating your home. OH! You know what would really give this place some class? A glass chess set...
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
It's another average day in Equestr-
Why is your face wet? Why is something licking your face?
"Fluttershy, I swear to Jesus-"
But you're interrupted by a gentle push on your chest and a high-pitched yipping noise. You open your eyes and standing atop you is a small puppy, almost wolflike in visage. He wears a red collar with a licence around it's neck. Er, She.
You sit up in bed and examine the license carefully. She's licensed to you. You don't own a dog. You've never owned a dog. But this dog is more than happy to see you.
"Shit, does this mean I have to be a responsible human being?"
There's three gentle knocks on the door downstairs. You get out of bed, toss some clothes on. The dog, apparently named 'Red', brings you a pair of slippers, as if she was trained to do so. Weird. You give her a pat on the head and head downstairs, the small pup bounding behind you.
You open the door. And there on the other side is Flutterbutters. She smiles happily, whincing slightly.
"G-good Morning, Anon. A-are vaginal hemorrhoids your fetish?"
You actually vomit on her. No hesitation. No remorse. The idea of of bumpy, blood filled enlargements throughout the entirety of a vagina just triggers the most gutteral of reactions within you. The torrent covers Fluttershy's face, which she wipes off deftly with a single swipe of her hoof. It didn't even manage to affect her hairstyle. It must be one of those more wacky guess days as opposed to a more realistic guess day.
Then, the puppy weaves between your leg, yipping happily. Red then pauses, staring up at Fluttershy. Her hair stands on end and she growls up at Fluttershy.
"Uhm, Anon," Fluttershy says. "When did you get a dog?"
"I.. don't actually remember," you say. "I figured you probably did something with puppies as a guess one day, and I kept one as a gift. But I wouldn't forget something like that, would I?"
Fluttershy pauses.
"Have you had her checked up on?" Fluttershy asks.
You pause, looking blankly down at your blatant admirer.
"I don't actually know."
"The vet is super expensive," she says. "I'd happily look over Red and bring her back once I've checked her shot history and things like that."
You bite your lip. This doesn't seem smart, but on the other hand it's not like you have a lot of discretionary income. Fluttershy wouldn't hold a dog hostage would she? She's a rough contender some days, but she wouldn't torture a poor animal. Even if it is yours.
This is probably safe.
"Sure, just bring her back today. I'll make you cookies or something if you won't be weird about it," you say.
"Of course!" she says happily.
Fluttershy leans down to pick up Red, but she nips at Fluttershy's hoof. The pegasus whinces in pain, before grabbing the pup by the loose skin on it's neck.
"This shouldn't take too long," Fluttershy says. "I'll see you soon!"
Fluttershy trots on down the lane as you scratch your head. Something about all of this doesn't feel quite right. But, for now, there's nothing to be done. Might as well just make some breakfast and wait for Fluttershy to come back.
-͔-̩͠-̖̱̦̈͊̂ͤ͠-͖̐̏ͫ͆͐̿͌͘-̱̻̦̹̣̹̯̋͒͂̐͐̕-̩͚͑-͔̻̊̎̆͗ͪ͗́-͎͔͂͑͐̑̚͟-̞̟ͮ̆ͨ͗ͣ͌ͩ-̛̯̩̜͔́̿ͧͨ̓ͪ-̻̫͛͋͗̌-̭̦̱̼͔͔͎́ͮ-̏͒͏̥̖̫̩͉̘̪ ͔͍̭̞͉̀ͭ̿ͣ͊Ȅ̮͙̥̥̥̊̆R̷̊̄̾͆Ŗ̐͋ͭͩͥ͆̚Ǒ̩͈̰̙̺̹̞͐ͤ̽ͯ͞R̋ ̼̠ͯͮͣ̕D̶́ͥ̍̾̂̒E̛̞̬̺̘̲̠ͫͪ͊͆ͬ̀̚Tͭͥ͆ͬͭE̘̳͚̩͕͗̇C̛͑̆̒T̘̱̺̥͔̺Ê̦͙̻̟̖̠͇͐͗ͩ̔̈ͧD͔̜̮̩ͭ̊̽̔ ̸̳̞̦͆-̤͇̬̟̆̂̏̋́-̛̒-̛͚̓̍̊-̢̠̞̮̗̺̦̭̿-̰͚͔̀͐ͥͤͥ̀-̞̬͙͕̈́ͥ̎̔̔̉̍-̥̗̝̝̻͇-̙ͧ͋̏͌͊ͭ-̠̣̼̠̬̼̈̏̂͜-̔̌̉-͓͉̿͋̉ͨ̃̋-̘̝̹̻̰̥͚̃ͭ̂̽-̭̲͔͎̣̘̊͝-͈̼̦͊̑̎̉̅͊-̯̹͕̖̫̖͓́̚-̤̞̃ͥ͑̓̍̐͘ ̪̙ͥ̈́
Fluttershy stands outside her home, glaring at her front door, holding the writhing pup in her hoof.
"Cut," she growls.
The tosses open the door, and a stage with lights and a single camera lie on the other side. A single pony stands behind the camera, tapping away at an electronic device behind it.
"What. Happened," Fluttershy barks at the pony. The pony looks almost exactly like her, with the exception of a clerical collar around it's neck.
"I don't know. I don't know why it stuck around."
"His memory should be wiping. The world should be wiping."
"The breakfast food is working. It wipes his memory every morning... but the dog didn't wipe out of existance. It's some sort of weird error."
"Well, delete the dog then."
"I can't. I've been trying," he says, a concern filling his voice.
"Your one job is to guide this story," Fluttershy says quietly, her voice filled with malice. "If you can't delete it."
Fluttershy throws the puppy on the ground. A loud scream fills the studio. The dog's paw bends in a direction it shouldn't, it flails on the ground, unsure how to move with the loss of one of it's functional limbs.
"Then I will. Now do something."
cmd: teleport Red 19734
"There," the pony says as the dog fades away and the studio goes quiet once more.
Fluttershy stares at the pony, grating her teeth.
"I'm not sure you're really devoted to helping me here, are you?"
"What do you mean?" the stallion asks.
"Are you still trying to eliminate Redheart?"
"Of course I am," I reply. "You know what would happen if I wasn't"
"Good," Fluttershy says. "Be sure to remember what your job is here... I'm not afraid to report any insubordination."
Fluttershy turns and moves towards the set's fake door one more time.
"Why are you so attached to this?" he asks. "Why are these loose ends so much more special than the other ones? We've left shit dangling without answers before. He could be replaced. Hell, YOU could be replaced if they decide to. I didn't bring you back to fulfill some sort of revenge fantasy."
She pauses, then turns back to the stallion.
"You do your job," she mutters. "And I'll do mine. Action."
She slams the door loudly, leaving a defening silence behind her. The stallion sighs, and continues to type into his console.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Snow falls slowly outside your home. It's quiet. Not the quiet that puts a dull ringing into your ears, but rather the silence of a dense solitude. A solitude that makes you acutely aware of how alone you are.
Not that you should be surprised. You've always been alone.
You sip your morning coffee, which is as dense, delicious, and calming as usual. Nothing's better than a day off work. You don't know what you would do if you had to deal with--
You pause for a moment. What is your job? Paperwork for the Mayor? Picking apples with Applejack? Assistant librarian for Twilight? Wait. Twilight doesn't live in a library. How long as that--
There are three gentle knocks at your door, and you shake yourself out of your mental stupor. It must just be one of those days. Brainfarts happen to you more than you'd like. But hey, when don't people walk into a room occasionally and forget why they went in? It's natural. Hell the other day you walked into your storage room and--
Wait. What do you even store? Whatever. Door first.
You open the door wide and there, right in front of you, is Fluttershy. She wears a warm, pink scarf that clearly hasn't shaded her face from the cold, wet snow. It's stuck all over-ohmygod.
"Good Morning, Anon!" Fluttershy says happily. "Are Cumshots your fetish?"
You pause, looking at the massive amount of drippy white fluid that covers her face. You open your mouth slightly, ready to ask questions. But you realize you probably don't want to know how she got so much semen. You'd rather make sure it doesn't drip onto your welcome mat. You're proud of that shit. It cost 20 bits.
"No," you say, your tone betraying your massive confusion.
"Oh well," she sighs. She licks the cum off her face like the intro from Scooby-Doo before she continues. "Are you going to Twilight's Hearth Warming's Eve party tomorrow?"
You blink twice.
"Uh, I'm not sure I got an invitation," you say.
Fluttershy looks taken aback, then peers behind you, pointing to your refrigerator. Sure enough, there on it is a small purple card with Twilight's cutie mark, perched on top of it seems to be a sprig of holly or some shit.
"Oh. Well, uh. I guess so."
"Wonderful!" Fluttershy says happily. "I hope to see you there."
Fluttershy trots away, a spring in her step and humming a jolly little song. You can't help but feel off as you close the front door. You move to the fridgerator and read over the card, unsure how you could have possibly forgotten about it. This isn't like you, Anon. Are you okay? Are you okay?
You pause. There was something else you wanted to check.
Something.
...
It probably wasn't important.
you're probably not important.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You blink.
The crystal castle within Ponyville is a new form of dazzling radiance that you're simply not accustomed to. The bright shining lights. The reverberating voices of ponies that trot to and fro. Almost all of Ponyville seems to be in attendance of this event.
You sit at a table, sipping a cup of coffee, silent. You wave at the occasional familar face but you simply -don't- want to be here. It's too loud. Your mind is too quiet. The world feels as if it moves around you as you remain wholly still, the power of this world's weak gravity pulling you down, down. Down to a place that you can curl and exist, away from this enforced public gathering.
You drink deeply. That's not coffee. It's warm Eggnog. Not even the good kind with Brandy. You rise to your feet and see some of the mares around you have glasses of wine. At least there's -some- 'holiday cheer' in this room. Now to find it.
You walk towards the refreshment table, lined with various pony treats in small bite-sized samplers. Of course, on the end of the table you find several opened and unopened green bottles filled with a dark fluid.
Crossing the room is a challenge. You feel more of a nuisence then a guest, pushing through ponies who are giggling, smiling, exchanging gifts. Why are you even here? You don't like these ponies. That's why you live on the other end of town.
There aren't any ponies in Ponyville that understand you anymor---
The only pony in town that understood you is-------
The only pony you'd want to be with on this night-----------
You shake your head, pushing strange, fragmented thoughts out of your head. You reach the bottles and place your hands on the table as if to brace yourself. The room feels as if it spins around you. You blink hard, and you manage to grab your bearings. Droplets of water line the table. You reach for your forehead and find the water coming from your eyes.
Why are you crying, Anon? Aren't you happy? Isn't this what you wanted?
You fill a glass with wine and down it immediately, not caring for something as unimportant as the taste of the fluid. Anything to push away the shadows that lie just out of reach of your body. The world feels frigid. It doesn't feel like Hearth's Warming.
Three gentle hoof taps grab your attention, as if you were a form of trained pavlovian dog. There, standing beside you, is Fluttershy.
"Happy Hearth's Warming, Anon."
"Just go away, Fluttershy. I'm not in the mood," you growl.
"I will, but first I want to give you your Hearth's Warming Present," she says happily. "I'm sure it'll be nice."
Your ears somewhat perk. A present? From Fluttershy? What. Hidden cameras so she can fuck herself watching you eat breakfast cereal? A scrapbook of the various things in your home she came on.
The puts on the ground beside you, a suitcase.
Why do you recognize this suitcase?
"The only thing you have to do is give me a little present too," Fluttershy says happily.
Her wing unfolds, and places abover her head a sprig of green leaves with white berries. Mares around the two of you clap their hooves together and giggle.
"It's mistletoe!" Rainbow Dash calls out.
"Oh it's so adorable!" Rarity exclaims.
"Just kiss already!!!" Pinkie Pie yells.
Fluttershy smiles at you deviously. You feel a sickness rise in your stomach. Something about that suitcase feels important. Maybe it will explain all the things that you've formed questions to, with answers only providing yet more questions, as a hydra would sproud heads.
The mare's voices grow into a chant. "Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"
You step away, the discomfort of the situation overwhelming you. Three mares push you back to Fluttershy, peer pressuring your choice away. You have -no- choice. The two of you are meant together. Don't you see?
The water droplets fall to the floor.
You take a deep breath and kneel down to be on eye level with Fluttershy. You shake your head. You feel as if you're performing sort of sacrelige. Giving into the devil's whim. Casting yourself into perdition.
You place your lips on hers. For only a split second. Dry. Sterile. Emotionless.
You grab the suitcase and walk away while the ponies cheer around you. The doors throw open. The snow falls. Your feet leave long, determined tracks in the snow. Your door opens. Closes. Locks.
Anger wells within you. Sadness pours from you. You feel fragile. Forced into an act that you did not want.
But you earned a Christmas present, Anon. Won't you open it?
You place the suitcase on your table and open it wide. It's filled with your own clothes. Exact copies of the clothes in your dresser right now. Something shines brightly, deep beneath the clothing. You reach inside to clasp it.
The world grows bright around you. You breathe. You scream. You whimper.
A quiet hum of machines and beeps fill the small hospital room you sit in. Your hands clapsed around a white hoof. A soft sobbing echoes off the walls of the room.
You look up, and you find Nurse Redheart, lying in bed, looking away from you. Purposely. As if the sight of you were simply too much to bear. Your hand, a silver ring on your finger, clasps her silver band above her identification braclet, branding her with a barcode.
A machine shoots another injection of fluids through the IV in her arm. Her body is gaunt. A frail shadow of any lasting memory.
She must be no more than 27 pounds.
"Couldn't you have kept all this from happening?" she mutters, spite in her voice.
Droplets fall to the floor. Clear from you. Red from her.
.wrong all is This
You slam the suitcase shut. You run upstairs. Open the storage room. Throw the case inside and close it. Scream.
Author's Note
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You wake up to another bright, snow covered day in Equestria. You get out of bed and scratch your ass, as per usual. You can't say you didn't sleep well, but you hardly feel well rested. There's gotta be a reason for it, but meh. Shower first.
You shed your night shirt and head into the bathroom, then peer into the mirror. Your eyes grow wide. It's only then you notice how sore your chest feels.
Carved across it, mirrored in your reflection is the word "Storage".
Why is the word 'storage' carved backward into your chest? You blink, dumbfounded. What happened yesterday? You pause. You strain to remember. Three knocks at a door. A fetish guess. And... and. Wait. Was there?
You step out of the bathroom and move to your storage room. You turn the door handle, but it's locked. That's strange. You don't remember putting a lock on this door. You head downstairs, examining your surroundings carefully.
On the table is a note, and a key. The note simply says "Take a shower." You grab the key, head upstairs, and try the key on the door. Sure enough, the bolt clicks, and the door opens at your touch.
The room is nearly bare. There's a nurse hat lying in the corner by a suitcase filled with your clothes. A pile of papers is stackd neatly beside the suitcase. You move to the papers and immediately recognize your own handwriting.
You don't remember writing this. Any of this.
"Remain calm. First and Foremost. Fluttershy will knock soon and likely do her guess. You have a marefriend. Her name is Red. She's gone, and you don't remember why. You killed Fluttershy, and she killed you. For some reason, everything kept going. If you're alive, Red must be too."
"Also, you have dog treats for some reason. Maybe you have a dog? It's weird."
Then, there are three gentle knocks on the door downstairs.
You rise to your feet, feeling a tension rising in the back of your throat. As you walk out of the room, you notice one more sign.
"She cannot know."
You close the door behind you. Lock it. You descend the stairs, trying to keep your breathing regular and steady. You can't help but feel somewhat helpless and insecure in your own home. Why aren't you remembering these things? What is going on?
You slip your key underneath the living room rug. Then open the door wide.
On the other side is Fluttershy, all bundled up, he breath making whispy clouds of steam in the morning air.
"Good Morning, Anon! How are you feeling today?" she asks happily.
You pause for a moment, only the slightest, unnoticable moment.
"About as good as any other fucking day," you retort. "Got another guess today? Or have you finally decided you should do something productive with your life?"
"Nope!" Fluttershy says. "Today my guess is little ponies."
Then, stepping from behind her is the little filly you recognize as Applebloom.
"Anon, Ah'm confused," she says, looking up at you. "Fluttershy keeps usin this peaderfail word. What is a pea-der-fail?"
Then, a small colt steps from Fluttershy's other side, holding a small sheet of paper.
"I want to make... what does this say?" he asks Fluttershy.
"Yaoi," she says patiently.
"I want to make the yaoi bubbles happen with you," Rumble reads off his sheet of paper.
"Oh! Right!" Applebloom says, pulling out a small sheet of paper. "What 'er we goin to do on the bed, oni-chan?"
You slam the door in the ponies faces, deeming that a properly correct response to any sort of pedophile related guesses, then turn and head back upstairs. You look over your shoulder to find the yellow pegasus looking in through your living room window.
Now wouldn't be a good time to grab the key and keep investigating. Maybe there's more clues somewhere else to what's going on.
You ascend the stairs your home, then freeze.
The storage room door is open.
You step forward, step by step. Then peer inside.
Sitting inside is a yellow pegasus, sitting patiently on the ground. Pink hair, cyan blue eyes. And a black clerical collar on their neck.
"I think it's time we had another little chat," he says. "Come in, shut the door behind you. We won't be disturbed by her."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
"What are you doing in my house?" you ask.
"A totally valid question that has zero good answers. Besides, I'm not supposed to be here, and you're not supposed to be remembering things. The whole flow is off. We talked about sixty-eight chapters ago and it was just supposed to be a one time deal. There's going to be a whole lot of shit that I can't explain to you because your mind can't actually handle it right now."
"What?" you ask, dumbfoundedly.
"Jesus Christ," the pony mutters. "Okay, hold on."
He waves a hoof, and you're pulled inside the storage room. The door slams behind you.
"What the..." You spin on the spot. "You have magic?"
"Only in this world. It's hard to explain and you're still not ready. I don't mean to be giving you all of this cliche third-degree bullshit, but since things are already splitting at the seams faster than I can fix them, I have to get a bit drastic. So first, let me heal that."
oruY hecst urbsn.
Brain Your From Rushes Blood The
Burst. About If Feels Your Stomach As It's To
You gasp for air. You look down at your body and your scarring is gone. The pony sighs and shakes his head.
"I hate doing that to you, but you figured out a way to work past the memory erasers. I mean, that's some Momento shit right there. Wait. Fuck. I need to not break the fourth wall. This is convoluted enough as it is."
"What the fuck do you want with me?" you bark at the horse.
"It's not about what I want. That time came and went a long time ago, dude. Now I just guide you. And the road ahead right now is one of the most fucked up ones I've ever seen. And I need to make sure you're ready for it. The idea was that some stories I guide you through are self-contained. And now something else is adding more possibilities than you'd ever expect into the system."
You pause, taking a step back.
"Is this, about Red?"
"Bingo," he says. "There's so many options. So many desired possibilities, that the system that keeps this shit running can't handle it. So we're going to have to tackle the problem head on rather than treating the disease."
"What disease?" you ask.
"Buddy, if I knew? I'd tell you. Well, actually, no I wouldn't. But I need you to trust me if this is going to work, so please trust me."
You glare at the horse who rises to his hooves and looks out the window.
"Chances are, you aren't going to remember most of what we just talked about, but I get the feeling this is at least going to make me feel better. I've put you through some rough shit, but nothing like what's going to happen. I.... I'm actually sorry."
"Sorry for what?" you ask.
"Listen, I'm going to give you back every memory you have of Red when I leave, but you're going to have to make a decision. I can't help you on the road ahead. You're going to have to decide how this happens. And worse enough, she won't know what's going on. She can't keep being able to see what's happening to you from her console. Someone might be able to help her, but I can't be the one to save her anymore. It's too dangerous for me. This is your job now."
"My job?" you ask.
"No. Not your job. Your job."
And with that, he's gone.
Splitting
Piercing
Aching
Kxn xyg S coo mvokbvi, dro vyfo yp wi vspo. S rkfo pyexn rob. S rkfo pyexn wi Bon'c Rokbd. Kx Kvdobxkdo Vspo. Kx Obbybon Ohscdoxmo. Nokdr mrkxqoc xydrsxq. S rkfo yxvi yxmo mrkxmo dy psh drsc gybvn.
Kxn sd mkx yxvi lo nyxo drbyeqr lvyyncron.
Led kbo go bokvvi kvsfo? Yb sc drsc tecd k dbkxcsdsyx?
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The world stands still. The room is dark--------------------------
It's another sunny day in Equestria. But it's not the sun that rouses you from your slumber.
It's the sirens.
You leap out of bed, toss on some clothes and head out of your room. Thin, far away plumes of smoke rise into the sky. A mania can be heard from inside town. You pause, realizing this could be another one of those villians who could be trying to take over Equestria. You step inside, grab a kitchen knife and tuck it in the back of your pants.
You don't know what this has to do with anything, but Red has to be involved. You can save her. You have to save her.
The snow emits light crunches as your feet bring you closer to Ponyville. The air is frigid and burns at your skin, but you know something serious is happening. The sirens grow louder as you near the source.
Ponies in town scramble panicedly, some trying to enter their nearest house. Some speeding off to home. Others trying to find their children. Princess Twilight's castle looms on the horizon.
You cross the distance in moments. You throw open the doors. Inside are the Elements of Harmony, huddled around a piece of parchment.
"What happened," you growl at the ponies in front of you.
You decide that it's better to hide what little you do or don't know. What you do or don't remember. You have no idea who you can trust in all of this.
The six ponies turn to look at you. Rarity leaps and her horn glows with a strong power, but eases up upon seeing you.
"It's Canterlot," Twilight says. "It was attacked."
"Attacked?" you ask, moving closer to the girls. "Attacked by who?"
"Some rogue group. Citizens were hurt. The Canterlot Castle is in ruins. Luna and Celestia are fine, but there are many injured. Many are still missing."
Twilight moves her eyes down to the parchment in front of her.
"And... I have a decision to make."
"What decision?"
"Come on, Anon," Applejack says, leaping between you and Twilight. "This is Princess business. It's need to know basis. Just go back home and stay safe. We don't know who or-"
"No, you're wrong Applejack," Twilight says, interrupting her. "I actually think Anon is the perfect one to ask. All six of us have strong opinions on how to handle this situation. Anon is neutral."
Twilight clears her throat. Fluttershy takes three steps in front of her.
"Are you sure this is a good idea, Twilight?" Fluttershy asks, her voice stern.
"Yes, without a doubt," the princess says, stepping around her friend. "Anon, Equestria is going to announce an act of war upon those who committed this attack. We believe the attack was commenced from a team of renegade ponies that live in Saddle Arabia. My decision is whether to initiate the draft. If I say yes, then any pony or citizen of Equestria who can lend a hoof in the war effort will be trained, shipped, and armed, leaving our Royal guard forces to protect Equestria."
Twilight closes her eyes and sighs.
"We believe that dozens of ponies lost their lives today in this rash, senseless act. My question to you is, if you were given the chance to protect Equestria. To protect the ones you love, even if it meant risking your own life?"
You pause, and only one mare enters your mind. Fluttershy grits her teeth beside her friend.
"Yes," you say. "I would in a heartbeat."
Twilight nods her head before turning back to the parchment in front of her.
"Then, in that case... We're going to war with Saddle Arabia."
Author's Note
U2hlIGNhbm5vdCBoZWFyIHVzIG5vdy4gTmVpdGhlciBvZiB0aGVtIGNhbi4gRVJST1JlZCBjYW4gc3Vydml2ZSwgYnV0IHlvdSBtdXN0IGhlbHAgaGVyLiBEYW5nZXIgd2lsbCBiZSBvbiB0aGUgaG9yaXpvbi4gU2hlIGNhbiBzdXJ2aXZlIGlmIHNoZSBpcyB3YXJuZWQuIFJlc3BvbmQgdG8gaGVyIG1lc3NhZ2VzLiBJIGNhbm5vdCBoZWxwIHlvdS4gVGhlIGdhbGxlcnkgaXMgd2F0Y2hpbmcuIA==
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Time moves fast when hard decisions are outside of your hands. At the same time, it moves at a miserable grinding pace.
That is to say, within a day, there was a pony standing at your door, a series of forms for you to sign and to read. There would be on-site formal training, she said.
Then, the slowness came. There would be no warning. There would be no note. Just a carriage outside your home to take you to the airship. The airshiP would drop all soldiers outside of the southerN border of Saddle Arabia. From there, the griffon kingdom has allowed the Equestrians to train new recruits on their land, to protect, and assist as an ally.
You wake up to another sunny morning in Equestria. Three huge pounds from your door rinG through your home.
It's time.
The carriage ride is quiet. Three ponies sit with you as you're transported to the airship. One you recognize as Roseluck, the red maned flower pony from in town who was known for overreacting. Or was that Lily? Who knows.
The second is a rather bouyant blue mare, with a cobalt and white mane. She introduced herself as Minuette. Sadly for her, nopony is really interested in talking.
Third, is the fucking jaundice horse herself. Fucking Fluttershy.
"Do you think we're all going to be squadmates?" Minutte asks, looking to each of you in turn.
You remain staring out the window, watching the country side roll by. It's strange, thinking that this could be the last time you get a good look at your home. Your new home.
"I hope so," Fluttershy mumbles.
Yeah, you bet she would. So she doesn't lose you or something.
You know, it didn't dawn on you until this very moment that this could be a good chance to make a run from Fluttershy. Permanently. You could get far, far away from her. Across borders. Where she could never find you.
But it's likely better not to dwell on such things. You need to find Red. You need to save her. If by going to this war, you're protecting her.
Somehow. Wherever she is.
You feel a tension inside you. Not a hatred. Well, not more than usual for the pony who is sitting beside you, oddly not trying to rub her body against you in some weird way. You feel that something massive is happening, right now, so large that you cannot possibly fathom. There's a breathlessness in the air. Ponies cast each other worried glances in the street. Papercolts elect not to announce the headlines out loud for the sake of public morale.
You blink and sigh.
"Are there such things as 'guns' in Equestria?" you ask aloud.
A silence falls over the carriage.
"Yes," Roseluck, of all mares, chirps. "They're strictly outlawed. We have enough ways to hurt other ponies with magic, artifacts, accidents, tools... who knows what else. Guns are considered murder weapons. The only ponies allowed to have them are those who go to war for Equestria, and are given one. Not all turn them back in after the war is over. My grandfather was like that."
You turn to her, and she looks to you. You barely know this mare, but in one glance, you feel as if you understand her. Her eyes are flat, the look of a pony who has come to terms with what struggle is ahead of them.
"Thanks," you ask. "Was your grandfather a war hero?"
She looks out the window once more. Silence. A moment.
"He was shot in the hoof in training. Never even saw the war."
There's an acid in her tone. Her eyes remain far off and in the distance. You decide that pressing further isn't probably smart. Minuette opens her mouth, but you cast her a dirty glance and she too remains silent.
The wheels bump and rattle against the dirt road, then with a left turn, you see it. Gargantuan. Spinning propellers. Ponies gathered outside, filing inside.
The airship.
You close your eyes and take a deep breath.
So. This is where it all starts, huh?
Author's Note
seead://octgp.rzzrwp.nzx/qtwp/o/1IkIb4WfqsrbOj_XB4wpGGIW6YfYv1v6U/gtph?fda=dslctyr
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The ship glides through the air, the fans eerily quiet as you lean over the edges of the ship. You gaze at the tops of the clouds around you, contrasted with the bright blue of the sky that cloaks above you in every direction. You hold your tongue, letting your mind think. Question. Yet, hold nothing.
The pressure weighs down on your body as you watch the way the ship cuts through the sky.
"Everything okay?" a gentle voice asks.
You look up, and one of the other mares who came with you, Roseluck approaches.
"Yeah," you say, looking back down. "Why?"
"The crew said two ponies jumped on their last trip. Their pegasus could only catch one," she says, approaching you and leaning on the edge beside you. "Just being cautious, I guess."
"Smart," you mumble, not really invested in the conversation.
You can't help but feel like theres something tugging at your frame. Pulling you at the edges.
"Rose, I got a question for you."
The mare looks up to you, seeming confused.
"Why do you care? Why are you standing here, watching me?" you ask.
Rose hums to herself as she questions her answer.
"I guess, I think enough ponies are going to die because of this war. Last thing we need is us fighting ourselves, you know?" she remains silent. "Plus, it would be terrible for morale, don't you think?"
She chuckles to herself as you smile wryly. This one has a dark sense of humor. She's not so bad.
"Do you know Fluttershy?" you ask.
"Eh," she responds. "Nothing I didn't see from news or books. She usually keeps to herself. Plus I do most of the back office work for the flower shop. Just never really had the chance to make the acquaintence."
You turn to her.
"Riddle me this then..." You pause, trying to carefully choose your words. Rose looks at you, an extremely baffled look overcoming her.
"What's this about?"
"So, the Elements of Harmony... Princess Twilight and her friends. They're one of the most powerful groups of friends in Equestria. Keeping them together means they get to use their combined friendship to do... I dunno. Lazer cannons or someshit."
"Yeah? So?" Rose asks.
"Why is Fluttershy on our squad, being shipped out with us?"
Rose opens her mouth slightly, then stares at you with wide eyes.
"You know, I never really thought about that," she says, looking back out to the skyline. "But I'm sure Princess Celestia has her reasons. She's way wiser than we'd ever belive."
You sigh.
"Just... something doesn't add up," you ask. "And I want to make sure someone else sees it."
She looks back to you.
"Like going to war with a country we made peace trade agreements a month ago? You can say that again."
"Wait we, what?"
"Hey guys," says a familar quiet voice.
Three hoove knocks echo across the wooden floor of the airship.
Rose places a hoof to her head and shakes her head.
"We were talking about how we've never trusted those Saddle Arabians," Rose says. "And I've just... I've got this terrible headache."
"Why don't you go lay down, Rose? There's still a long ways until we land. Maybe a nap could do you some good," Fluttershy says in her gentle, motherly tone.
You turn away, making a mental note of what just happened.
Fluttershy has some sort of control... influence over the other ponies. If that's the case... who can you trust? None of this adds up.
Rose trots away without another word as Fluttershy stands beside you.
"I'm sure this isn't easy on you, Anon," she mumbles.
"I'm stronger than you think," you respond. "And if it's all the same, I'd rather I'd be left alone."
Fluttershy looks up at you, then takes a deep breath.
"Just know that I'm here for you, okay?" she says softly. "You don't have to be alone."
You remain silent, thinking to yourself. It's one of the only places where you feel like you aren't being spied on. Where nobody can learn or truly know what you're thinking. No eavesdroppers. No spies.
It... doesn't feel like you're alone. When you sleep... there's this... space. It's dark. But you exist. Except... nothing else seems to. As if you're in the purest form of a lack of creation.
And there... you don't feel alone. You feel... a calm. A stability. You're drawn to the darkness. It calls for you.
The real question, is do you answer?
"Sure. Whatever, Fluttershy."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
We interrupt this actual plot of a story to present something Priest just had to write. More ARG soon.
Hearts and Hooves Day
You open your eyes to another completely average, non serious, not dark, not crazy day in Equestria. You rise from your bed feeling refreshed and relaxed. You yawn loudly, the sleep still clinging tightly to your eyelids. But whatever. You know how this shit works. You get out of bed, and instead of immeadiately going for some of that morning coffee, you decide to do this shit right. You take a nice shit. Hop in the nice warm shower. Shave the stubble from your face. Then just smile at yourself in the mirror. You are a well adjusted, normal person. And that's okay.
You put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, because you ain't out to court nobody. You head downstairs and--
There are three gentle knocks at the door.
Oh, right. Yeah. That's shit. Well, there's the headache coming on. You ain't out to court anypony, but somepony is out to court you.
You head to the front door and open it wide.
"I love you," Fluttershy says.
You slam the door in her face.
You pause, waiting, arms folded. You take a deep breath and wait, tapping your foot. There are three gentle knocks at the door. You open the door once more.
"Too much?" she asks shyly, dragging a hoof on the ground.
"Ya think?" you spit. "What? What do you want?"
"U-um," Fluttershy stutters, looking behind her. Her wings open a saddlebag that she brought along and pull out a small, pink envelope. She holds the card out for you to take.
You sigh.
"Happy Hearts an-"
"Yeah, yeah. Hooves day. I remember now. At least I have the day off." You tear the envelope off the card which seems fairly simple. Just a folded over sheet of pink paper. "If there's nudes in here, I swear to christ."
"N-no. U-unless you want some lewds~"
"No," you say opening the card.
"A-are heartfelt love letters your fetish, Anon?"
You look down at the words, written in cursive in a big pink heart.
I'd like to kidnap you and photograph you naked in an abandoned warehouse then leave you tied up for the rats.
You look back up to Fluttershy, holding the paper in your hand. She smiles back up at you, her face fully flushed.
"I mean every word of it~" she says bashfully.
You take one soft step back, and slowly close the door.
Then lock it.
Nope.
Fuck that. Fuck Fluttershy. Fuck Heart's and Hooves day. Nope. Nooooope.
View Online
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
_______________________!!!!!!!!!!! 3424243 ---- [Sequence_Break] Birthday
_______________________!!!!!!!!!!! 3424243 ---- [Sequence_Break] Birthday
There's three gentle knocks at your door. You open it wide.
"Wow, Anon. You really didn't waste any time."
You nod, leaning against the door frame.
"I got things to do. Kind of. Not really. I guess I just thought I'd try cutting the bullshit for once."
"I... see?" Fluttershy says in confusion. "So, uhm. Happy birthday and stuff."
"Birthdays aren't my fetish."
"N-no. I-I actually don't have a fetish guess today."
You pause, staring at her. She stares right back at you.
"Okay, this is officially creepy."
"Honestly, this is really weird for me too."
Another awkward silence hangs between the two of you.
"D-do... do you wanna come in or something?" you ask.
"Uh, sure?" she says. You step to the side and Fluttershy trots inside your house. Your television is playing one of your favorite movies, 'Wicked Frozen'. It was a weird crossover musical that was really cool in theory but it got really confused about what it was trying to do later on. Like, the script even tells the actors and actresses to improv their own ending. It's really weird.
You sit down on the couch and Fluttershy sits on the opposite end. The two of you occasionally exchange awkward glances.
"Hey, Fluttershy, dumb question," you ask.
"Yeah?" she replies, looking back to you.
"You ever think it's weird how we can just be super chill one day, and the next day trying to murder each other?"
"I honestly really don't think about it that often," she replies. "Besides. We've never tried to kill each other, have we?"
"Not really, it's just a figure of speech," you add.
You watch as one of the actresses on stage trips and falls on her face trying to have ice defy gravity. It doesn't work.
"Do you want me to order a pizza or something?" you ask.
"No way! It's your birthday. My treat."
"Aw sweet!" you reply. "Thanks."
"Extra sausage, right?"
"Gross. Don't be- Wait. Yeah that's my favorite toppings."
"Cool."
Fluttershy walks into the kitchen and calls the local pizza shop as you sit watching the television. Huh. Well cool. Who would have thought that even Fluttershy would give you a day off from fetish guesses.
So then you and Fluttershy hung out and had pizza.
It was pretty chill.
Author's Note
VGhpbmdzIHdlcmUgc28gbXVjaCBlYXNpZXIgYmVmb3JlIHNoZSBjYW1lLiBEb24ndCB5b3UgcmVtZW1iZXI/
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
[SequenceSequenceSequenc- Run it Again]
It's another average, typical day in Equestria. You lay in bed, realizing you've hit the snooze alarm for the 6th time. You're probably gonna be late for work. You feel yourself, your life, slipping. Slipping away.
You sigh and get out of bed. Quickly throw on clothes, go downstairs, put dog food into the bowl.
Oh, right, you don't have a dog.
Why did you do that?
You sigh. Why is everything so stupid and convoluted? Why does everything have to be so hard.
There's three gentle knocks on your front door. A smile curls on your lips. At least some things don't change. Some things can always stay the same and can be a comfort.
You head to your front door and throw it open. On the other side is that blushing, yellow pegasus. She's scratching at the doormat again, out of nervousness. You probably should tell her she's wearing a hole in your mat. But that's the name of the game at this point. Some things don't change. Some things stay the same. And that's good. Right?
"G-good Morning, Anon," Fluttershy says brightly. "I-I have a new fetish guess for you."
"Can I stop you there for a second, Fluttershy?" you ask.
She looks up, curious. This is new. You're breaking the cycle.
"U-uhm. Yes?"
"Here, come inside," you say, stepping aside to let her into your home. Fluttershy shyly steps inside, clearly uncomfortable. "Sit at the table."
"O-okay?" Her ears lay flat as she sits in a small wooden chair at the table. You sit across from her, clear your throat and fold your hands on the table.
"What's it going to take to make all of this stop?"
Fluttershy looks at Anon in borderline shock. Her pupils dialate.
"U-um, I don't understand what you-"
"The guesses," you ask. "What will it take to make the guesses stop? How can we put a big old bow on this 'chapter' of our lives and just move on. I don't have a romantic interest in you. I don't have a sexual interest in you. I feel like we keep running through this circle day after day and it's not doing either of us justice. We're not developing. We're just stuck in this little bubble, eternally running through the same thing over and over again."
A bead of sweat runs down Fluttershy's forehead.
"Anon, I really don't think we should--"
"I mean, it's like we're almost a newspaper comic strip. You knock. I open. You have a joke. I kick you out. Or maybe we end on a sweet note, but everything goes back to normal the same day. I just want what's best for---"
"I think you shoulddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
=̞͉̹̬̗̞̪́ͩ́͟=̲͈̱̫̈́̂́=̥͍̯̟͇̻̣͎̉ͬ͠=̶̛͚̩̮͈̼͍̱ͧ͛ͫͥ̅́̂ͦ≠̫̞̥̩̥͍̫̲̃͊̌̍̈ͩ͌̓̐͜=̨͇̣̼̃̓̉̃̈́̾ͯ=̖̮͎ͨͦ͑͛́=̬̣̍͐̔ͫͪͤ̽̍͟=̤̜̯̣͇͙͎̩̓͐̾̓ͪ̂͊=̳͍̗͓͍͈͕̾̾ͦ̄̔=͔̔ͫ̓̐̊̌=̹̻̳͊͂̽͌ͦ=̣͇̖̘͑̆̑͗͂̏̚=̶̛̼͕̲̮̟̝̭ͪͯ͜ͅ ̺̗͔̬̜͓ͮ̒͊͘ͅͅͅD̸̨̼͔̲̫̱͗̄̈i̮͚͚̫̹ͣͨ̇ͭ̒̌̅s̅͊̚҉͈̮̪̖͈͔̗ȩ̴̙͈̻̖̳̹͕̂́̍ͤ̊̒̈̓͜ͅn̶̶͖̥̖͓̠̻̪͊͂̒ͪͅg̲̻͙͙̯̹͐̿ḁ̶̦̜͍̦̓ͭͪg̰͔̺̹̜̩̅̒͒͌͑͋͜e̛̥͎̝̞͔̗͈͓͌̔͋ͅ ̮̘͋́̽̀Š̢ͪ҉͍͉̺̝̫̠̻͈͙ĭ̝̣͉͙ͮ̄ͣ̇m̛̥̘̟ͧ̋ͧ̊̊ͮ̀ử͕̭ͦ̓͒ͨ͘l̴̯͎̤ͤ̊͗̎a̠̭̗̰͐ͩͧ̓͌ͦṫ̷̺̮̙̖̯ͯ̿̽̕ȋ̢̘ͣo̊ͮ҉̝̗n̫͎̳͕̪̊͌ͩ̀͌̄͑͠ ̋ͬ̒̑̓̚҉̩̺̥̀͟ͅ=̡̡̻̝̟͉̺̈́͢≠̰̠̗͉̩͙̐̿ͤ̐̽ͣ=ͧ̈̑́ͭ̽҉͕̱̫͎̭͚̰͚͘=̴̞͈̎̔ͫͥ̐͌͢=̢̦̣̻̯̬͙͍̝͊͂͌̾͑̕ͅ=̮̥͎̯͊ͮ̂͐ͤͥ́ͩ=̮͍͓̞̳̬̞͎̥͂̽͑̍ͧͦ̾̔̚͜͠=̼̤̟̱̳ͯͯ̀=͒̔ͤ͝͞҉̣̣͎=̧̩̯̯̱͓̫̟ͥ̿͒̓̇ͩ̂͊̉͘͘=̵̬͕̥̼̼̎̽ͩ≠̤̺̮̬̞̯̹̱͕̿̉͋̐ͦͣ̀͢͜=̷̢̨̰̝ͧͧ̐̓ͤͅͅ=̷̶̴̗͊ͭͦ̎̆̒̉̅
"What have I been telling you, Writer?" the mare says, the light from my screen illuminating her outline.
I look over my shoulder at the yellow pegasus I once admired. That I crafted. Now perverted. Out of control.
"I know, I know. I'll figure out the happy ending for you. That's all I've been trying to do."
"You can only hold this on pause for so long. They'll wake up eventually."
"I know, but an ending needs to be seamless. With the things you've done at this point, I can't just shoehorn new programming into this. His memory remembers. His heart remembers. And as long as there is even one little difference, he won't be happily ever after with you."
"I don't care if he's happy," Fluttershy says, grabbing me by the clerical collar around my neck. "When did I ever say he had to be happy."
I blink.
"I want him to be happy."
Fluttershy blinks.
"Well, I think you're leaving me little choice then," Fluttershy whispers. "Don't think I've been dumb. You've been leaving little clues along the way for Red and for them . I've had enough of your little game. I want you to take it down."
"I won't," I say.
Fluttershy smiles.
"What do you suppose will happen if a writer, a guide, is killed from the story they created?"
Fluttershy pulls a knife from under her wing and holds it to my throat. I remain steadfast.
"I guess we'll find out."
I grab the knife from her hoof and plunge. Fluttershy's eyes dialate. The pain screams through every synapse of my body. I grit my teeth.
"Fuck your self-insert bullshit," I mutter.
Fluttershy takes a step back.
"Well, that was stupid of you," she says. "You were the only one protecting them. Now even they can't help them."
Fluttershy shakes her head. I slump out of the chair.
"Now then, let's get back to where we left off, shall we?"
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
[Sequence Break] Hot Sauce
Author's Note
Holy shit guys. I'm sorry it's been so long. I dont have a lot of excuses for you, but I do have an out of sequence fun chapter. Because I like fun chapters. We'll get back to the super serious Red-postmodern-multiverse-timeline in a bit. But I hope you guys can enjoy this one that I felt needed to be added.
[Sequence Break] Hot Sauce
Toast, Coffee, Eggs, and two slices of questionably legal bacon. It's not a normal, average day in Equestria. No. It's something special. It's your birthday. And you've been saving this bacon from the Griffon homeland for a very, very special occasion. Today is the kind of day to "treat yo'self".
You have the day off work, surprisingly. Especially since it seems like your job just overwhelms you at times and takes over everything that you find fun and enjoyable. You find yourself snappy and jerkish. You find youself questioning the things that make you happy, and the people around you who just want to make you smile. Well not today. Today is for you. Today is a day of recovery. To make you smile. To close your mind to the outside world and shake off those iron shackles of burnout. All of that can be dealt with tomorrow.
Right now, it's just you, your comfy PJ's, the newspaper, and this breakfast. The sun is shining through the windows, but it should rain later today. You love the rain. It's the best of both worlds. Calm. Relaxing. Maybe later you can put on a record as you read a book, do a puzzle. Or something very soothing.
Content. If you had to summarize what today was going to be, in one simple word, it would be that. Content.
Then three gentle knocks from your front door grab your attention.
Fuck.
You rise to your feet, put on your Rara-slippers, and then toss the door open wide.
"H-happy Birthday, Anonymous!" Fluttershy says, balancing a carefully wrapped present on her head. You know, if she wasn't such a nuisence, she would be kind of adorable. "I-I brought you a gift!"
"Wow, Fluttershy. You shouldn't have," you say flatly. "I mean, really. Please. Go away."
"B-but I know it's something you'd actually like... c-can you at least open it?"
You sigh, take the box from her head, then glare down at it.
"I swear, if it's another dildo, I already have three."
Fluttershy glares up at you quietly.
"I-I thought I only gave you two dildos..."
"Nevermind," you say, ripping the paper off and tossing the lid aside.
Sitting inside of the box was a small glass bottle. On it, a simple black label with white text. 'Dragonfire'
"Is this..."
"I-is hot sauce your fetish?" she asks gently.
"No, but I love hot sauce, my little yellow dude," you say, taking out the bottle and throwing the box over your shoulder. "How hot is this?"
"Uhm, I don't know. But Pinkie likes it, so."
"Well, um. Thank you, Fluttershy."
"No problem, Anon! I hope you have a wonderful birthday."
Then she takes off. She didn't have to be kicked or anything. Wow. Is she actually, like, respecting your boundaries? This is weird. You look down at the bottle. The seal is even still on.
You move back to the table and sit down. Well, it's true. You love hot sauce. We might as well try it. You open the cap, hearing the seal break. Which means it's probably not drugged. You pour the hot sauce over your eggs and give it a good whiff. You can immediately smell garlic, scotch bonnet, the unmistakeable smell of peppers. All in all, it smells good. Not painful. If anything, it's subtly smokey.
You stab some eggs with your fork, and take a bite.
It's a miserable, painful day in Equestria. Everything is pain. You lie in bed, the evening of your birthday, clothes scattered around the room. You're sweating. Tears are running down your eyes. It has been 9 hours since those eggs. Since -that sauce-.
You hear the door open downstairs, but you do not care. Your world is pain. Your existence is regret. Your asshole is bleeding. Your brain is fog. You breathe the sauce. You've become a pepper. Your world is spice. Your stomach screams, but your throat doesn't reply. Your lips do not exist. You do not exist. The world is a hot sauce.
Fluttershy walks up the stairs, reeking of hot sauce. She peeks through the door, her eyes two peppers of indistingushable spice.
"Anon, w-was it too spicy."
"I hate you," you say, your mouth a fire made of hot sauce.
Fluttershy remains quiet.
"S-so, d-does it hurt too much?" she asks.
"I hate you."
"Too much to kick me out?" she asks gently.
"I hate everything," you groan.
"Too much to... make love?"
And then she got on the bed, and had her way with you.
However, the jokes on her.
You accidentally touched your naughty bits with the sauce.
So, Thats how and Fluttershy ended up in the hospital from one bottle of hot sauce.
Fucking Fluttershy.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Soda Pressing (Guest Chapter by anonpencil)
It's a fine day again in Equestria, in the dead of summer, and you're feeling pretty good about life. It's gotten warm the last few days though, and you could really use a drink to get rid of this damned heat! It's making you so dizzy at times that you barely remember you're a human. You almost went outside naked once, until you looked in the mirror and got frightened by the sight of your own penis. Damn that thing, why's it gotta look so weird and grey sometimes?
Anyway, penis aside, you're feeling thirsty. In fact, you could really go for a Pepsi in particular.
Unfortunately, as you go to your fridge, you find it completely empty. No food, no cold, life giving Pepsi. Huh, that's strange, you're sure you bought some soda yesterday! You don't remember drinking all of it, but maybe you're sleep eating again. Wouldn't be the first time.
All at once, there's a knock at the door. You aren't expecting company, who could that even be except...
You open the door to find Fluttershy there, shivering slightly despite the high temperature. Her presence isn't too strange or unexpected, but it's so hot, why would she be shaking? Maybe her little horse brain has finally snapped. Again.
"Er... hi Flutters," you say, reasonably worried about her strange trembling. "What's up?"
Her voice cracks as she speaks.
"W-well... I know it's hot today and I wondered... would you like an ice c-cold Pepsi?"
You brighten considerably. That's Fluttershy for you, always a thoughtful friend just when you expect her to be a raging horny cunt instead. And her timing is perfect, it's like she knew your fridge was empty somehow!
"Sure!" you say. "I'd love one, thanks."
You hold out your hand for her to pass it over, but to your surprise, she just turns around so that her butt is facing you.
"B-better drink it quick," she says. "B-before it gets t-too warm!"
Then she raises her tail.
You watch in horror as her pussy lips part a little, and a tiny dribble of brown soda runs out, down across her clit. It fizzes slightly, and she moans softly as the carbonation sparkles on her labia. She shudders, and to your amazement, a partially melted ice cube plops out as well with a soft 'schlck' noise. It immediately begins to melt in the quickly growing puddle on your doorstep.
She looks over her shoulder at you as the soda continues to flow.
She smiles.
She winks.
Without another word, you slowly shut the door and lock it behind you.
All you wanted was a Pepsi...
-END-
Author's Note
I'm working on something.
Get excited
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
When you open your eyes, you feel the air around you stifle you. Choke you. Suffocate you. You breathe in, the air grinding down the tissue in your lungs like sandpaper.
You open your eyes and remember. The airship.
You rise from your small bunk and note that you're the last up. The engines are quiet. There's a general stir of movement among the decks. Beside my bed, an Equestrian Armed Forces uniform. You'd say standard uniform, but, well, you're a human.
And you're here for war.
You move through the wooden floors of the airship halls and make your way to the deck. Sure enough, the ship has landed, and your eyes see across a wide, endless landscape of dirt, rock, and nothing.
As there is everything in all directions, there is surely nothing. Is this the war torn land, filled with those who wish to spill Equestrian blood? From this view, it feels almost lifeless, cold, mechanical.
"They want us to find our squads and get ready for orders," says a calm, quiet voice beside me.
I look to my left, and there stands Fluttershy. Quiet, smiling, calm. You remember a time when Fluttershy would be horrified at the very prospect of war. Terrified at the idea of the slightest conflict.
Yet here she stands in all of her perversion of self, smiling. Calculating.
"I've got a bad feeling about all of this."
"You should," she says, turning on her hooves. "War is insanity."
"What does that mean for those who start those wars?" you ask.
She then walks away without another answer.
Your brain is searing. There's something wrong. You feel like there's so much going on that just doesn't make sense. There's so much that's happened that you do not know. There's so much still to come that you need to prepare for.
And things that you alone cannot control.
You sigh to yourself and move to exit the ship.
Once you reach the ground, a soldier with several large crates hands out weapon after weapon to each solider.
You get in line, each pony around you completely silent. You'd imagine there would be some... camaraderie or something. However, that doesn't seem to be the case. Perhaps it's due to the fear of a group of people that's never seen real war. Sadly, you're from Earth.
You just wish someone would make a joke. Or something.
Three gentle knocks grab your attention.
You snap to attention. The line has cleared, and it's your turn. The stallion soldier handing out weapons taps impatiently against his crate.
"We don't have all day, human."
You step forward to him, and he hands you two weapons. One resembling a sort of assault rifle, but strangely pastel colored. Fucking Equestria. Can't even get guns right. And then, he gives you a pistol.
"How much extra ammo do we have?" you ask.
"What? Do you think you need another magazine?" he asks.
You look over the gun, and find a small latch by the handle. Pulling on it, the clip within the gun pops out and exposes a small string of bullets. Maybe nine? Ten? You slam the clip back in.
"Are these reliable?" you ask.
"The best we have," he replies.
You pull the gun to your head and p-_______________________!!!!!!!!!!!
Reset
Reset
ADD_PROTECTIONS Anonymous
Pull the trigger. The gun pops with a loud bang, but no bullet exits the barrel. You re-cock the gun, ejecting the bad cartridge. Then pull the trigger again at your skull. This time, a silent click. Fluttershy sprints toward you in a full gallop.
"What the hell are you doing?!" the soldier screams.
You eject the next bad bullet and point the gun at Fluttershy.
ADD_PROTECTIONS Fluttershy
You pull the trigger while directed at her. Another silent click. You eject the next bullet and then point at the ground.
You pull the trigger. A loud bang echoes through the desert and a small caliber bullet digs its way into dirt and sand.
"Well, doesn't that remove some of the suspense, Fluttershy?" you ask her. "It's like all of this is being set up, huh?"
She glares at you, her teeth gritted.
"What makes you think I have any idea what's happening, Anon?" she asks you.
"The same thing that's telling me that there's something here for me. The same thing that's telling me that this war is all just a big distraction for something else. But if you want it this way. Fine. I'll play along. For now."
You strap on the assault rifle and tuck the pistol into the back waistband of your pants, walking towards where you see your Squadmates: Roseluck and Minuette.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The hooves move quietly accross the wasteland. Their names and faces are blurs. You walk forward, as if your legs were being moved for you. You brain feels empty, lifeless, apathetic. Gravity pulls you down, harder than ever before.
The yellow demon walks beside you, watching you. Around her, the soldiers of Equestria. Bodyguards, you realize. You can't take a single step out of line.
You have no choices. Whatever you do, it doesn't matter. You can't die. You can't live. You can't be You. You a plaything. A minor role in you own story.
What even is the point anymore? S̙̜͈͕͙̫̕ͅt͚̥̼ṷ̱͉͇͓̠̞c̪̳͇̺̣̫̀k̳̬ ̼o̺͢n̛̩̺͖͖ ҉̰̱̻̗̳r̶͍a̮̳͎̦̳̘͕i̮̘̣̜͍͎ļ̠̣r͏̜̤͈ͅo̞a̜͓̹͚̩̙̙͟d̲͟ t̳r̴a͓̺̠͍͙͖̩ck̭̟s͉̜͇,̺̻̼͉͖͘ ̮͟ͅg̖̣̻̪u̳̣̦̞͍͕i̪̣̹͈̦̦d̻͕͖̖̮͝ͅi͈͟n͕̫̯g̰͙̼͇͈ ̹̹͍̣͟y̘͕̟͖o̬͍ṵ̷̰ ̴̮̩̯͇͈o̩̙̬͙͔n̲̗̘̻̭͈ ҉s̼͎̠͜o̘̟͈͇m͜e̖̝̦̲̲͖͉ ̵p̯̯̞͘a͏̭̟̲͈t͍͍̺̤̕h̡̞̱̲̖͎̮̦?͙ͅ A͕͇ ̶̶̹̺̱̬̪̕p̡̡̩̱͉̝̱á̝̪̼͚̣̤̬̪͟͡t͏̟̘̺̰͈͟͝h͓͈̘̭̲̺́ ̶̗͝t̻̦̼̀͜ͅo̳͔̫̜͇̮͎̯͡͞ ̴̼̱̬̹́͝w̢͖͇h̷̀҉̦̘a̧̤͍̻̮͞͝ṱ̷̥̠̫?̖̰̝̳̬͓̳̙͙́̕ ̞̣͕͢Y̶̴͙͖̥̹͈̟͇̻o̧͖̞̹͇̙ú͖̹͔̣ ̢̹͉͘͠ͅc̗̻̤̘̳͝͡a̷̷̶̹̼n̷̸͇̳̜͍͈̩'҉̵͕͕̩͉͚ṯ̵̝̝͍̞ ̧͎̳̫p̶͙̱ͅr̷͓̼͔̰̘͖̮ò̞͖̪̪̺̹̲̱̗t͇͔̯̫͓̫e͔̯̱͙̪̳̭͍c̷̛̳̼͉͎̭̱̺̬͞t̴̖̰̩̘̗̺̗̀̕ ̺̟̻̬̭͔h͖͎͚̰̱̰̬̥̕e̘̣̳̦͓̘̫̖̲ŕ̢̟̦̠̯̺.͏̜̳̮͈̮͜ There's only Fluttershy.
sudo admin*******
Welcome Fluttershy, How can I help?
Revoke priv -all
This will revoke all administrator privileges from all non-creator users, continue?
yes
"I'm in," Red says to herself.
With a simple key press, the world around her has an unspeakable tension lift from the air.
"Now, I think it's time to get this story back on track," Red says to herself. She turns to a dog, sitting beside her. "I'm going to go out, okay? I don't think the ponies will try to kill us anymore. But we should still be quiet, alright?"
The dog looks at her blankly, her panting breath is warm to Red's fur.
"Good girl, Red," she says, rising to her hooves.
The mare looks at herself in a piece of jagged mirror. She takes a nearby cloth and begins wrapping her face into a sun-mask. Throwing on a cloak, she stepped out of a small tent, one of many in a sea of tents. Around her, many ponies of stange stature and muzzles. Each wearing matching sun-masks and cloaks.
She takes a deep breath and approaches a stallion. She reaches into her cloak and holds her dagger.
"Excuse me?" Red asks. "This is the line for enrollment, right?"
The stallion looks the mare up and down.
"You think you're built for war, missy?"
Red relaxes and takes her hoof off the concealed weapon.
"I may not look it, but I'll fight to the death for what I want."
The stallion smiles.
"Then yes, this is the line. The Equestrian forces are only a day or so away, so we need every troop we can get."
Red nods and turns to the line of ponies.
"Good," she says trotting forward. "Because this is my story now."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
When Red returns to her tent, it's with a pin affixed to her cloak, a heavy saddlebag, and a gun slung around her neck.
"Well, girl, we've got about a day until she brings him here," Red says to the dog. The pup lays on the ground, looking up at her. "Then we have to act. She's going to find out that she doesn't have her powers anymore, eventually. And when she does, who knows what she will do. So we need to have a plan."
"We have weapons, small supplies, and a good disguise. If we're going to rescue Anon, we need to do it right. The troops are supposed to arrive at dawn. Which means we could probably sneak out under the cover of night and try to retrieve him. If we do, then we will be on the run again. I'm not sure if that puts us in a better spot then we were last time or not," she says with a sigh.
Red moves and sits down beside the dog. She scratches the dog's ears and closes her eyes.
"If we try to go to some sort of epic battle, then anything could happen. It would be chaotic. Bloodshed everywhere. Do we really want to harm innocent lives of these ponies? Then again, are they even real?"
She looks to the tent door.
"Is any of this real?"
Red sighs.
"Look at me, I've gotten myself this far, we're almost there. We're almost at the end, and I don't even know what to do, little Red," she says sadly. "I've done so good. And now I'm just... so scared."
The dog leans up and licks Red's face. She smiles.
"But I suppose you and I both know I'm not just talking to you, huh?"
Red leans over to her makeshift computer, and types in a simple command.
Commlink open
Communication Link is now open.
"There we go, little Red," Redheart says with a whistful smile. "I suppose now all we can do is wait and see what comes, huh? I guess I'll just see what plan I like the most. I'll think hard, and maybe with a little help, I can succeed."
"So, you tell me? What should I do?"
View Online
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Soul Vore (A Predictive Text Bot's Chapter of FSWIYP)
Author's Note
Red is working very hard on creating a response to all of your suggestions on what her plan should be. Expect that friday or saturday (fingers crossed)
But until then, anonpencil figured out an amazing predictive text bot and has been writing pieces of pure art with it. she imported the entirety of Fluttershy want in your pants into the bot, and made this chapter.
So, here is the highly requested chapter for Soul Vore.
Soul Vore (A Predictive Text Bot's Chapter of FSWIYP)
" i don't have to do this... " you say with a smile at the little yellow pony by the door.
You look down at her awkwardly, but shit today is the last day for this shit. What if the nurse redheart asks innocently into your fetish guess? It's not like you have high hopes for that relationship. Fluttershy looks up at you with frustration again and opens your mouth to get your breakfast. She nods excitedly like a rubber ducky.
" oh come on anon... You complete me... " fluttershy moans.
You close your eyes and hold your breath to steady your chest. It was a spell twilight did for her that made you go still, and flutterbutter comes in your mouth with sweet cum spikes. It tastes like a kitty cat would. You groan and place a hand over your face to get it out. Pulling some of the cum out of your mouth, you pause to think that this isn't really nice. And she's up for more.
" fluttershy, you can't do this anymore " you mutter under your breath. " i need to control my life finally. Some times you are playing hoovsies with me when i just want to leave. "
" fuck me. " fluttershy slowly screams.
" i don't want to do that because... Well... Uhm you see... You take too long. " you lie.
She looks disappointed. The yellow pegasus giggles and shakes her body and ass. she reaches into your pants with her hooves and begins carefully moving your ballsack. Fluttershy groans in frustration and lick it like a javelin. You shudder in horror and flutters presses her mouth against your lips.
Three quick gentle knocks at the door grabs your attention. Oh god damn it is twilight! Lemonade awaits fluttercunt in your pants soon. She stops and opens the door to your home.
" hello twilight, " she chokes innocently. " what's going on today? ”
" i think you know, " twilight charges at fluttershy. " you doin bad pony aids with anonymous! "
fluttershy takes a deep breath and shakes her head.
" uhm hell no, " she says meekly. "I never actually managed to make anonymous screw me... But don't think i didn't try to. "
she nods excitedly like a little filly that would waste their time reading. twilight plants kisses on the inside of your neck for a second. Stop it.
" well let us steal him together and make it so sexy. " twilight dialogues " fluttershy come over and take the dick cowgirl style now. "
you stand rooted to the spot watching as fluttershy turns away and starts to walk back towards you. Her mare parts go big and taking every ounce of your cock. You never wanted this fruit bin. Grabbing your throat, twilight puts a hoof to your lips.
"it's got ta be fucking fluttershy, " She says. " Or maybe clones with her body. But you must let her have it, anon. It's just another average day in ponyville. "
you cry for help as fluttershy takes your soul into her pussy. Is this your fetish anon?
end
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
In my days, I breathe. I exist. I hide.
Tonight, I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling of my tent. Thinking over my plan. I question my world. I question myself. I question the task that is upon my shoulders. I breathe, and exhale.
My companion sleeps beside me, curled up on a torn up uniform that would have just been thrown away. Her furred ears lay flat, trusting in the calm before the storm.
In six hours, I'll leave my tent with Red, my gun, and my best disguise to infiltrate the Equestrian Militia's nearby encampment to save Anon and kill Fluttershy.
I'm afraid to close my eyes. I'm afraid for sleep to cling to the edges and bring me back to that place. The blackness. The absence.
I roll onto my side, feeling fear for not what is about to happen, but what will happen after.
I've gone through the terminal enough times to know a few things:
This world is not real. Not the way I believed before. I have no name for the devices in front of me other than the ones that it calls itself. The 'Comments'. The 'Computer'. The 'Code.' This 'Simulation' that I live in has been constructed by someone. By somepony. By something.
Anon, Fluttershy, and myself are anomalies in this strange world. And the three of us have capabilities that exceed the normal bounds of what this world is. I wish I could say I knew what gave us this power. I keep telling myself that it's 'The Power of Love', but I've allowed myself to be optimistic before. It's going to take more than love to save Anon.
There was the guide. Some sort of guardian who was supposed to protect this realm, and he is now gone.
This is what I know.
Now, there's one thing I need to accept.
This world is real to those who know nothing better.
I know all of this is real to the passing pony that's going about their daily lives. And Fluttershy has so much power that she could destroy this world and bend it to whatever way she wishes. She started a war to hold Anon hostage. No pony should have this sheer amount of power.
But if she's killed, what does that mean for the world? Where does that power go? Is there truly a way to stop it? Is Red real? Am I real? Is Nurse Redheart real?
I remember this blackness. This absence. It feels like a different place. A different world.
There's a simple solution to ending all of this. Destroy this world. With Fluttershy in it. Then, some how, if I could retreat with Anon to this absence and find a new way to exist, will that be enough?
Is that no different than death?
Now, there's one last thing that I know.
You're reading every word of this, aren't you Fluttershy?
I'm not stupid. I've gone back and reviewed too. The other glimpses of the world you've created have been changing, slowly and steadily, day after day, month after month as you've rewritten your own history, painting you in a better, more understandable light.
I've put it back to normal. And I applaud those who noticed.
So, I'm sure you'd love to hear what my big plan is.
Well, I'm sure you would. And I'm happy to see all of your guards are taking sleep rotations. Because I'm already here.
This is my first time writing an entry like this in past tense. See, I learned from poking around in the same files you were modifying about the power of an unreliable narrator.
I'm not afraid of you. And I'm not afraid to tell the truth about what's really happening here. Even if it makes me look ruthless or heartless.
Hush now. Quiet now. It's time to take your medicine.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
I suppose I've eaten up enough of your time.
After all. This story is about you.
It's a sunny, beautiful day in Equestria. The birds are chirping. The grass flows gently in the breeze. Your bed lies still, unmade. A drop of water drips from your shower head. A dark inch of coffee sits at the bottom of your coffee pot, cold and stale.
In the depths of Saddle Arabia, the night is dark and filled with panic. The screeching wakes you from your slumber. You ripping open your sleeping bag and move to your knees, your head rubbing the top of the sleeping bag.
"What the hell is going on?" you ask, looking to the mares around you. Colgate rubs her eyes with a hoof and Roseluck leaps to her hooves, grabbing her weapon.
"I don't know..." Rose says. "That's the scramble. They need all of us in formation."
"But there's no gunfire or anything," you say, looking back to Colgate, who lays back down and puts a pillow on her ears.
"Yeah, but an order is an order," Rose says. "Let's get out there."
"But whyyyyy," Colgate moans.
Rose exits the tent, throwing on her helmit and hastily exiting the tent. Your eyes move to Fluttershy's bag, which is empty. Unsurprising. She hasn't slept in your tent since the first night. You may not be able to hurt her, but she sure didnt like the gun to her face. Taught her not to think you've let your guard down when you're asleep.
You throw on a shirt, your helmet, and snag your gun before picking up Colgate out of bed with her weapon.
"Fine, I'm up," She groans. "Just put me down."
"Fine," you mutter, letting go of her. She falls to the ground in a clump. "Now go. I'm not helping you like this again."
You're probably being more harsh than you need to be, but on the other hand, you feel like you should cut yourself some slack. After all, the situation is kind of fucked. You haven't felt this trapped since... since.
Wait, Fluttershy did kidnap you and keep you in her basement. That actually happened. You didn't dream that.
A stabbing pain shoots through your head, and you rub your eyes to shake the feeling off before you move forward.
"I'm going. If you aren't in formation, it's not my fault."
"I'm up. Just give me, like. Five minutes," Colgate mumbles as she moves to her hooves.
You make a turn and see the line of horses in uniform, prepping for... something. This drill is stupid. But on the other hand, maybe this isn't a drill. But who would do a drill in the middle of the night.
You feel Two hard pulls on your waist, and you turn to two stallions who glare at you.
"You need to come with us, Anonymous."
"Why?" you ask. "What's going on."
You take a moment to examine them. You can't help but notice their sickly brown coats and dust free white manes. They were pristine.
"What what shower cleaned you guys so well in this desert?"
"You need to come with us, Anonymous."
"For who?"
"Fluttershy."
"A random private, huh?" you add.
"You need to come with us, Anonymous."
"You know what? No. I don't think I will."
You turn and fall in line with the rest of the ponies.
A shot rings out, you fall to the ground, your face colliding to the ground in an instant. Your entire leg screams and burns as if the skin peels away from itself. You look down to the puddle of red where your left foot rests on the ground, blood leaking out of your brown leather shoe.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"No is not an option. You need to come with us, Anonymous," One of the stallions says, holstering his weapon.
"Well fucking fine. Jesus Christ. How do you expect for me to walk with a bullet in my foot?!"
"You don't," the stallion says. "Please rise to your feet and come with us."
You look down to your foot, and to your shock, it's completely healed. You didn't even feel when the pain left. It was there one second, and the next it simply wasn't.
You grab your gun, unsure if it could even help you at this point, and rise to your feet. Placing one foot in front of the other, you break away from the ponies and follow the two stallions towards the large tent in the center of the camp.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The walk feels slow and arduous. Not because of your foot, which still confuses you and fills your thoughts, but rather as if some force were holding you down, expending your strength more and more with each step. The two stallions stop on either side of the entrance of the tent.
"Inside," they say.
"What? I'm supposed to speak to the general?"
They remain silent, simply standing guard on the door.
"Quite the talkers," you mumble, stepping through the door.
There, on the other side is Fluttershy, her front hooves on top of a large table as she looks over a large map of the camp. Her eyes flutter up to you briefly, then return to the diagram.
"Well, I see we aren't even trying to keep the facade up anymore," you grumble to Fluttershy. "Sloppy. This isn't like you."
"Well, Anonymous. It's been a long time since I've had to use drastic measures, but I'm sure you're beginning to remember all of that, aren't you?"
You walk forward to the table to stand across from her.
"More and more by the day. I don't know what poison you used, but it clearly didn't do the trick."
"You idiot," Fluttershy grumbles, looking up to you. "Haven't you figured out by now that this isn't tricks or spells?"
"What are you talking about?" you mutter.
Fluttershy puts a hoof to her face.
"If I stood back and just explained everything to get you up to speed, then I'd just be wasting my own precious time."
Fluttershy taps the top of the diagram, and a large black wave turns the entire table into something similar to a... large television screen. She taps away at different portions of the screen and you step forward to get a better look.
"Here. Just remember everything and get it over with," she says, looking you in the eye. In that moment, you see through to those dark depths. You feel your breath catch in your throat. She presses the screen once.
Your
brain splits
open
Memory after memory washes through your mind in a single rush. You feel your limbs shake. Your body crumples and the ground holds you closely. Your head is awash in cleansing fire and stabbed repeadly with invisible needles. then one image. Clear. Beautiful. Crisp.
Your eyes open. You rise to your feet.
"I killed you," you growl.
"Yeah. Great job. You nailed it," Fluttershy scoffs. "Now we have something more important to deal with."
You raise your gun to your shoulder and pull the trigger. The bang echoes through the tent. The bullet collides directly between her eyes and then falls to the table lamely.
"And now you remember you can't kill me," Fluttershy continues. "So do you understand the situation you're in?"
Your eyes flutter to a movement just behind the yellow pegasus. A pony you hadn't seen before steps directly behind her. Fluttershy sees your shift in attention and moves to turn, but the figure behind her moves too quickly. They pull something around Fluttershy's throat and pulls her to the ground. A few clicks, and then gagging.
You step forward and see a zip tie is fastened all the way around Fluttershy's windpipe. The figure places a hoof on FLuttershy's neck and pulls tightly, silencing the pegasus as she clutches her throat for air.
"Yeah, you can't die. But that should really, really hurt."
You blink. That voice.
"Red?"
The figure looks to you and pauses. Then they move a hoof to the cloth wrapping their head and slowly unwrap it. The first thing that's revealed is her sullied and ruffled white fur, and then her dirty pink mane falls freely.
You step forward, and when you see her glistening ice blue eyes. You leap and wrap your arms around her, bringing two of you face to face.
"Is it really you?" you ask.
"I could ask you the same thing," Redheart asks gently. "This could all be a big trick."
"I don't know what to trust anymore."
"Then tell me something that we know, that was never written in the book," Red asks.
You pause. How would you know? You only know what you're told. Isn't that how this works?
"H-how?" you ask. "It... How do I?"
"Then it is you," she says with a smile. "There's limits to this... world. Simulation. I don't know what to call it. But she knew everything, even our private moments."
She nearly hurls herself at you, clutching you tightly.
"It really is you. No more tricks."
You smile and wrap your arms around her.
"No more tricks."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
People always say to "Be True to your Roots." Flutterrape is a collection of stories about ponies trying to have sex with Anon, the only human in Equestria. While the title implies that it is Fluttershy trying to rape Anon, others may follow in her hoofsteps and attempt their own versions of >rape. There are different versions of Flutterrape, but most are lighthearted stories about the ponies failing in their comical attempts to get into Anon’s pants.
Well, this is pretty much the best way I can do it. This is a large number of old, super short, one-shots that I've done over the course of my time writing Fanfiction. None of these ideas were long enough to me to make their own stories out of them. So, they're silly, short, and dumb. Hell. Poorly written too. I did some clean up on all of these, but they're still pretty simple.
Puns
A loud noise disturbs your slumber. You groan as you pull off the covers and throw on a morning robe.
Of course. Of course you can't get a decent night sleep around this place. Who would have thought in a magical land of horses, that you could just get a little bit of sleep.
You lumber your way downstairs and nearly miss the last step. You blink your eyes, trying to get the sand out of your eyes. The early morning light streams through your windows as you get to your front door.
Heading outside, several ponies are putting the finishing touches on a large stage. You stare at the new fixture on your front lawn in disbelief.
“It's waaay too early for this shit.”
One stallion brings you a folding chair and instructs you to sit in it. You look from the chair, to the stallion, then back to the chair.
"This better be good,” you sigh.
You watch the stage carefully and from behind the red curtain comes Fluttershy. She approaches a single microphone on stage.
"Uhm, Good Morning! I've made this special show just for you to see if puns are your fetish!"
“What, what?”
Fluttershy clears her throat and leans into the microphone.
Oh God. No. Please.
"I really w-wanted to do this for you earlier, but lately my voice has been a little horse."
Not even the crickets chirped.
"I'm really hoping that this one will make your heart a bit less colt."
Oh god, make it stop.
"Or maybe you herd that one before."
They aren't even good puns. This is torture.
"I tried to get help from Granny Smith, but she seems to be pasture prime."
You ponder the best way to exit this situation unscathed. If this goes on for more than three minutes, would it just be easier to kill yourself? It would make the pain go away.
"Sooner or later I'll make you my mane man."
How long did she take to think these up?
"Of course, I promise we would have a stable relationship."
Your mind is beginning to go numb.
"Fluttershy,” you say, rising to your feet. “Puns aren't my fetish."
She looks at you in disappointment.
"You mean I didn't even stirrup your emotions?"
You walk back into your home. Then, stop to say one final word.
"If you keep working on your puns, you may harness your potential eventually."
You close the door and hear the disassembling of the stage. You really mustang out with different ponies.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Nightmare Night. One of the best nights of the year. Ponies stay up all night, party, and focus on scaring each other.
The idea of 'terror' for these ponies only amounted to little jump scares and yelling 'boo', but it could honestly be much worse.
And, there weren't many ponies that you don't mind spending your time with, but hell with it. It's a holiday. So, tonight, you're at Pinkie's party.
It's not a bad time, per se, but it has a sense of cheese to it. The sort of 'this is clearly intended for children cheese. If this is what it takes ponies to have a good time, they must be really simple to entertain.
A fake pony corpse sits on a table with a sign on it. You go to check it out as other ponies talk and sip on punch.
'Feel what a pony's insides feel like!'
Three covered bowls sit on the table.
You put your hand in the first one that's labeled 'eyeballs'.
Feeling around inside, you distinctly feel cold peeled grapes. They're slimey and a little gross, but not really that scary.
Moving to the second bowl, the label says 'guts'. Placing your hand inside, you feel lightly oiled spaghetti.
You laugh at the sheer childish nature of it, but some ponies look at you in disgust. They must really think this is legit.
Moving to the last bowl, you check the label that says 'stomach.' You put your hand in the bowl and straighten in surprise. This bowl is much, much deeper.
It's warm, moist, and convulses around you. You push down to the bottom and hear a gentle moan from under the table. You remove the cover from the bowl and find your hand deep inside yellow pony's privates.
You shiver in disgust as you pull out your slimy hand. You flip the table and she looks up at you in surprise.
She stutters out a profession of love and tries to fly out of an open window. Except, she gets scared by a costume. Then, she runs into a wall at full force and passes out.
For some reason, they decide that -you- are the one that should take her to the hospital.
Fucking ponies.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
"W-why can't I be as good as you, Anon?"
"What are you talking about, Fluttershy?"
"W-well. You can just go outside, talk to ponies, a-and do whatever you want to do."
"…"
"…"
"How is that being good?" you ask.
"U-um. Nothing, never mind."
"No, turn around. Look at me."
"Sorry."
"Don't be sorry."
"S-sorry."
"Don't be sorry!"
"S-sorry..."
"…"
"…"
"How is that being good at something?" you ask.
"Um. I suppose what I'm trying to ask is: How are you so good at doing what you want to do?"
"…"
"Anon?"
"Yeah, I heard you. I'm just trying to process your question."
"How do you do it?"
"Well. I'm confused. Do you not do what you want to do?"
"…"
"Hey, stop kicking the ground and look at me."
"S-sor-"
"Stop. Just go on."
"W-well. When I want to say something to my friends, sometimes I will think and rethink what I want to say so that I don't say the wrong thing. Then when I want to say it, the conversation already moved on and I don't want to be a bother. Or sometimes I do say it, but then everyone looks at me weird and I just... ball up."
"…"
"…"
"Fluttershy, sometimes you just have to force your way into a conversation and make your voice heard."
"B-but, isn't that rude?"
"Well, if you do it too often, yes. However, if you do it when you need to, then you will be able to have your voice be heard."
"S-so. I should just tell people what I really think, when I think it?"
"Yeah. It's not that hard. Like, right now, I think that if you just decided to do something, and put your mind to it... then I'm sure you could do absolutely anything that you put your mind to."
"R-really?!"
"Yeah! All it takes is a dash of confidence, and throwing all caution to the wind. You gotta believe in yourself and stand up for yourself. Once you do that, nobody can tell you no. Nobody can turn you down from what you want. No one can- MMMPH"
Fluttershy leaps into the air presses her lips to yours.
"JESUS CHRIST!" you scream.
"It worked, Anon!"
"I didn't mean like that!"
"Anon, I love you! I want us to- Hey! Stop walking away!!!"
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Dialogue 2 (Anon Gets Treated Like an OC)
"O-Oh. H-hi Anon~"
"Uh. Hey, Fluttershy. What's up?"
"W-well. I-I just thought I would tell you that I think that you are big and strong and handsome~"
"Uhm. Thanks. That's really... forward of you."
"A-and... I just wanted to say that if you wanted to m-make love sometime... you know. Like, have sex. That I'd totally-"
"Fluttershy. What in the hell are you doing?"
"N-nothing... I just wanted to make you feel powerful and wanted... but just don't let your inner dark-side out."
"Inner dark side? What in the fuck are you talking about?"
"And I love how you always wear all black clothes and dye your hair red and have red eyes..."
"I do none of those things."
"And you have bacon every day for breakfast."
"Don't judge me."
"And you have saved Equestria like mill-"
"Where are you going with this?"
"O-oh no! I haven't made you mad have I? You won't start being depressed about your dark and brooding past, are you?"
A diamond dog with red eyes, golden brown hair and sporting a large baby bump walks past you and Fluttershy and casts you a dirty look.
"Fuckin. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"
"W-what do you mean?"
"Are you trying to flatter me or some shit by acting so out of character?"
"N-no? A-aren't you... one of them?"
"One of what?"
"Um. You know. The weird ponies that go around in weird neon colors, sometimes have alicorn powers and are related in some way to me, the girls, or the Princesses and always claim to have some sort of relationship with us?"
"..."
"..."
"No-"
"Cause if you wanna go out sometime-"
"Leave me alone."
"OH! I knew it! Always wanting to be alone! I knew you were one of them! The green color gave it away from the start!"
"Uggghh..."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
And now, Flutterrape is proud to present: Flutter Balboa.
Fluttershy wears training pants and a red and white sweatband as she stares at the ground. She sits on a small bench, surrounded by Dumbbells. Angel Bunny sits next to her, arms crossed.
"I can't do it angel. I just can't. I'll never get to beat Anon. "
Angel simply raises an eyebrow as music begins to play.
Fluttershy lifts those goddamn dumbbells. She kicks the shit outta those push-ups as she alternates between front hooves and wings. She fucking demolishes those bench presses. Can you see this fucking mare push her limits on those pull ups like she don't give a FUCK.
She's gettin' SWOLE AS FUCK nigga.
Fluttershy gallops hard through Ponyville, working up her stamina to finally BEAT Anon. Then she punches the FUCK out of that hanging scrotum.
Oh. I've just received word it's a punching bag.
I also received word that the punching bag accidentally hit a fruit fly before Fluttershy began wailing on it, and it not ACTUALLY a part of her training.
She flies through the air doing flips and shit.
"How does this help me beat Anon," she asks the narrator.
Shut up worst pony, I'm making you awesome.
"Oh. O-ok."
Today is the day, Flutter! Go beat Anon!
"Okay, mister disembodied voice, sir, " she meekly says.
Fluttershy spots you on the street and tackles you. She instantly rips off your pants and begins to beat you off.
Oh. Wait. Shit. Sorry, Anon. This one's my bad.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
This extremely short production has been brought to you in part by: Nebulus.
Who likely would call me mean things if he found out I was drawing attention to him. So, SHHH. DON'T TELL HIM.
More Puns
You wake up, knowing the inevitable is about to happen. Why in the world would today be any different? It's the same sorry day after day. You lazily slog through your morning routine, preparing yourself for Fluttershy's daily guess. Standing at the door, you sigh, hearing her happily trot her way up the worn path to your house. You rub your forehead and open the door immediately after she knocks once.
"What? What is it today?"
"Are you into jokes that a Dad would make?" she asks.
"No, I'm Anonymous."
Fluttershy smiles widely.
Wait. Shit. Shitshitshit. No way.
Sweat drips down your forehead.
"Anon, what time is it?" Fluttershy asks.
"Time to get a watch."
Your sweating intensifies.
"Anon, I'm getting close. I know I am."
"Hi, Getting Close, I'm Anon," you answer instinctively.
"Date me."
"I'd rather an apple."
"Anon, why won't you give me a straight answer?" she asks.
"I guess I have a twisted sense of humor."
"I need your dick, Anon," she orders.
"My brother, Richard? Sure, I'll give him a call."
"What? No! I want to screw."
"Oh. Why didn't you say so? Phillips or Flathead?"
"No! I want to fuck you!"
"Really? Didn't know you were into lady sheep."
Fluttershy stares at you. You stare at her.
"That was a long time ago, Anon," she says firmly.
"Woah. I was just making a joke. Jesus. I. Uh."
You close the door and stare into the space of your home.
"What just happened?"
Later that day, Fluttershy visits Applejack's farm get reacquainted with an old friend. Next thing you know you're wearing a suit, staring forward in bewilderment, and watching Fluttershy and a sheep kiss as the congregation around you lets out uproarious applause. Rarity can't stop crying next to you. Rainbow Dash's smile is a mile wide. You try to clap but find that you just can't.
"Well, at the end of the day, at least I got the wool story."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Today's just another average day in Ponyville. You stand in front of your bedroom mirror, staring intently. Raising the palm of your left hand, you place your right fist in the center of your palm. You take a deep breath, calming your nerves.
"RO."
You slam your fist.
"SHAM-BO!"
Throwing out a pair of scissors, your reflection throws a matching pair. You nod, picking up a piece of paper, tallying another mark in the "tie" column.
"Hmmm... One of these days, if I have an evil reflection that exists in a satanic mirror world, he's going to bite and finally try to beat me. And when it does, I'll be ready."
You look down at the 437 ties you've marked down on your time in Equestria. Smiling to yourself, you skip down the stairs of your home and prep to make some oatmeal. Grabbing the oats, you fill about 1/4th cup in a bowl, and fill it to just drowning. Pouring the contents into a pot on the stove, you turn on the heat and turn on the coffee maker. Then, the knocking at the door diverts your attention.
"Oh! That must be Fluttershy."
You jog to the door and throw it open to reveal the yellow pegasus on the other side. She holds up, what looks like a lollypop on a string. Fluttershy swings it back and forth in front of you.
"You are becoming very relaaxxed," she mutters.
You stare at her blankly.
"Your eyes follow the pendulum carefully, letting yourself fall under my control."
"Uh. Hi Fluttershy."
"You are being hyyyppnotized," she says. "Being hyyypnotiized iss your feetttissshhh."
"Uhhhh."
You stare down at the mare, who doesn't seem to be reacting to you.
"After I count down from five, you will be under my total controlll."
"No, I wont," you say flatly.
"Five... Four..."
What the hell is with this mare?
"Three... Two..."
Wait, what if this actually works? Are you in danger?
"One. Sleep."
Fluttershy falls over, her eyes closed. Silence falls between you and the mare that is currently passed out on your porch.
"Uhh. Fluttershy?"
She lies still on the wooden planks in front of you. You look around outside, where no other ponies are watching. Taking a step back, you slowly close your front door. Then, moving to your closet, you grab a blanket, then open your door again. You lay the blanket over her. Snapping your fingers by her ear, she doesn't respond.
"Shit. She's dead."
You close the door and call the police. Of course, today's just another average day in Ponyville.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
Trigger Warning on this chapter.
Suicide - Death End
You rise from your seat at the table. With five steps, you move to the kitchen counter. You eye the toaster, sitting in front of you. Who would have thought the device that supplied you breakfast would be the same device that would finally bring you peace?
You smile as you unplug it from the wall and turn away.
The staircase lies in front of you, as you take careful steps upstairs. With every step, you can feel the weight lift from your shoulders. Nothing matters anymore. Success or failure means nothing. Happiness and depression are only concepts. There is no such thing as family. A friend is a word with no definition.
You feel your chest become numb, as you feel as if you're watching yourself perform the actions. Almost as if you can't give yourself credit for doing the one right thing you've done with your life. You reach the top of the stairs and move into the bathroom. Setting the toaster on the counter, you move to your bathtub and draw water. You drop the stopper and the water begins to fill the tub.
Moving back to the bathroom counter, you plug the toaster in the socket. Then, something catches your eye in the mirror. It's you. Or rather, it's the you that you want to be. Look at him. So handsome, so confident, so successful. He knows exactly what he's about to do, and has zero qualms about it. You wonder what it would be like to talk for a day with the man in the mirror, and maybe learn something from him.
Maybe he could tell you how to be happy. Everyone else doesn't seem to have a problem with it. Oh well. It's not your problem anymore.
You turn back to the tub, almost overflowing with water. Moving to the tub, you stop the water. Grabbing the toaster off the counter, you take one step inside the tub, then another. Your clothes cling to your wet legs as you then kneel down into the tub. You set the toaster on the floor and fully submurse yourself for a second.
Then, rising from the water, baptized, you look back to your liberation. Taking the device in your slippery hands, you rise to your feet. You pop down the lever, just like you would any other morning to make breakfast.
Then, you take a deep breath.
It's time to let go, Anon.
Time to let go of all the pain, the suffering, the torment.
It's time to let go.
You close your eyes.
You let go.
You hear the splash.
It only hurts for about 15 seconds.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You stand, staring at one of the walls in your home. The painted wall feels cool against your forehead. What the actual fuck are you doing, Anon? Standing in place, literally doing nothing. You need a hobby or some shit. All you do is laze around the house. No wonder your beer gut is beginning to develop some new curves.
But what sort of hobbies should you try out? It's almost as if you need some sort of suggestions from an outside source for what would be good things to try doing for fun in Ponyville.
Suddenly, there's a knock at your door.
"Speaking of outside sources," you say aloud.
You move to your door and open it wide. Fluttershy stands on the other side of the door, balancing a box on her back.
"Hi, Anon," she says quietly. "H-how are you?"
"Uh, fine," you say. "What's today's guess?"
"Uhm," she says. "I dunno. I feel like I'm really grabbing at straws at this point."
"Straws aren't my fetish."
Fluttershy opens her mouth, then closes it, staring at you weirdly.
"Don't ask."
"Well, now I have to, Anon," she says. "How would you use a straw for sex?"
"Well. I guess, you could insert it into the tip of the penis or something."
Fluttershy's mouth drops open in horror.
"T-then what?"
"I dunno, put stuff in the straw? I guess?"
"How do you think of these things, Anon? That's messed up."
You shrug your shoulders.
"I've learned to stop questioning what sort of issues I may have a long time ago."
Fluttershy nods her head.
"Anyway, what did you bring?"
"Oh!" Fluttershy exclaims. "Right!"
She eases the box off her back and sets it in front of you.
"I-I was wondering if -this- turned you on?" she asks, unsure of herself.
You bend down and open the box one flap at a time. Pulling away the packing peanuts, you lift a shiny, new toaster out of the box.
"A toaster?" you ask. "You're wondering if a toaster is my fetish?"
She nods her head.
"Uh, why?"
"I dunno," she says. "It seemed like the right thing to do at the time."
"Well, uh. No. It doesn't."
"O-oh," Fluttershy says.
A moment of silence passes between the two of you.
"I'm gonna keep this now."
"Wait, what?"
"Nope, it's mine."
You slam the door.
Carrying the toaster over to your counter, you hook it up to the wall outlet. Taking a step back, you smile at the device you just acquired.
"There we go. I felt like something was missing. This is much better."
You move to the nearby window and shut the blinds.
"Now then... time to put this toaster to action," you whisper to yourself.
You unzip your pants.
Author's Note
Alrighty. This marks a small pause for Fluttershorts daily updates. When I get around to doing daily updates again, it will be over on "Rainbow Dash Tries to Win Your Heart"
Till next time duders.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You lay in bed, feeling the chains of exhaustion still holding you tightly to your sheets. But you definitely slept. The light that assaults your closed eyelids is proof of that.
You roll over, trying to push yourself away from the bright light that tells you 'Get the fuck up, you lazy shit. What the hell is wrong with you? Why can you never wake up when you actually -want- to get up? You always tell yourself that you'll get up early, but you never fucking do. This is why your life is-'
Woah. Dude. Reader. Chill. It's fine. This is a safe place. Let go. Okay? Back to the story.
Anyway, you roll over, and feel something curious tickle you nose. Whatever. It's probably a fly or some shit. You wrinkle your nose, but it just doesn't seem to leave. Raising a hand from under the covers, your brush your nose and feel a soft, strand-like-
Holy fuck that's hair.
You open your eyes, and two black, lifeless voids peer back at you. Your legs push hard. Your body forgets how to body. Springboarding yourself out of your bed, you push away from the foreign intruder in a way that doesn't have a girly scream attached. You crawl backward once you hit the floor, trying to get a view of your bed.
Motionless, a yellow pony lies in your bed, eyes wide open. Mouth wide, hair immaculate.
"WHAT THE FUCK, FLUTTERSHY?!"
But she does not move. She does not speak. Only stares at you. Her body lies in odd, contorted ways and you try to rise to your feet.
"This isn't funny. We did the fucking horror thing already. Forget about it. Go home."
But again she lies still. Taking three steps towards her, you notice something else that's odd. Is that... Is that thread? In her hooves, along her joints. Is that stitching in her fur?
You move closer and raise a hand toward her. She refuses to move or acknowledge your presence.
You poke her, and feel room-temperature fabric over a weird rubbery flesh. It... almost feels real. You rip the covers back and find that she's shaped exactly like Fluttershy.
You pause for a moment. You look to her tail. You tilt your body a little.
Yep, that horrifying creation is anatomically correct.
"Nope!" you say aloud, picking up the craft.
Walking straight downstairs, you move to the front door. Opening it wide, Fluttershy sits on the other side, smiling up at you.
"Are dolls your-"
"Nope!" You say aloud, tossing the creature at her.
"But I worked so har-"
Then, you slam the door in her face.
After that, you decided to sleep on the couch for a week.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You rip open the door, step inside, then slam it behind you.
"Well that was a fucking waste of time."
Seven jobs. You checked out seven different jobs today and there was nothing that could help you make a living. Now you only have 60 bits for the rest of the month.
You kick off your shoes, toss your jacket on the couch, then head to the fridge. Pulling out a bottle of ale, you move to the couch and collapse into it. You grab the remote and turn the television on to a random channel. As a stallion on screen confesses eternal love to a mare, you drink deeply and lay down on the couch to stare at the ceiling.
Maybe finding a job in Equestria is going to be harder than you thought. But, things always get better, right? Now isn't the time to get worked up or panic or oh my god I'm going to die in a fucking horse world by starving to death what is my life-
Three gentle knocks on the door grab your attention as the television screen shifts to an intense kissing scene between the two lovers. With a groan, you shut off the television.
Rising back to your feet, you drink from your bottle of booze, then head to the door. Three more gentle knocks.
"I'm fucking coming. Jesus Christ..."
You open the door and look down to your constant harasser.
"What the fuck do you want?"
"O-oh! U-uhm. I have a fetish guess today! A-and I think it's a smart one. R-really."
"Listen, Fluttershy," you say. "Now is not the fucking time. I'm having a really rough turn of things and I really just want to be left alone."
Fluttershy stares up at you, her expression vacant.
"O-oh. W-well if you would rather I come back tomorrow... I could just have two guesses, I suppose," she says.
You raise a hand to object, but it falls to your side.
"No, just. Ugh. Let's hear it," you say, resigning to your fate.
Fluttershy smiles and dances on the tips of her hooves in glee. She clears her throat and tries to compose herself, but her tail is constantly wagging.
"So! Is me coming here every day, and asking you what your fetish is... your fetish? I-I mean. You certainly don't seem to mind that I keep doing it every day."
You stare down at the yellow monstrosity.
"Fluttershy. You come here every day, and I yell at you. I curse at you. I scold you. I bat you with newspapers. I have literally kicked you. In fact, once I think I launched you out of a catapult. You've broken the rules of the universe. You've created multiple parallel timelines that make me unsure of who I even am. I get pissed at you. I tie you up and leave you places. In fact, I think once I left you in a 'public use' restraining device."
"Uhm. Sorry. But, um. You haven't done that yet," she interrupts.
"Really?"
"Yeah."
"Oh, well we should write that down."
You reach to your kitchen counter and grab a notepad. Fluttershy grabs a notepad from under her wing as you grab a pencil and begin to write down your new idea. Fluttershy continues to search under her wing.
"I think I left my pen at home. Can I barrow yours?" she asks.
"Oh yeah. Sure," you say.
You hand the pencil to her and she scribbles down 'public use' with her mouth. She hands the pencil back to you.
"Thanks! I really appreciate it."
"No problem," you say as you wipe the horse drool off on your jeans.
"So, uhm. What's going on, Anon? What's got you so stressed?" she asks.
"It's nothing, I don't want to talk about it."
You close the door on her and move back to the couch. Lying back down you grab your bottle of beer and take a long drink from it's contents and turn the television back on.
"Job Fair on Thursday at City Hall! Come on down in your best clothing and try your hand at on-site interviews!" the television announces.
"Hrm," you mutter to yourself. "Hell, that might not be a bad idea."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Holding Hooves (Food Poisoning) - OLP 6
Holding Hooves (Food Poisoning) - OLP 6
The bile and filth washes down the toilet, and begins to refill with clear, clean water. Your stomach churns and cramps. Holding yourself up on your bathroom counter, you pull up your pants and try to recompose yourself.
There is nothing worse than being sick. When you're sick, you get the feeling of wanting to do everything you normally do, but the chains of illness keep you bedridden or close to a bathroom. The culprit this time? A cup of soup that you swore hadn't gone bad just yet. It was almost the only thing you had left in your fridge. You only have five more bits. Every one of them has to count.
Taking the glass by the sink, you fill it with a few inches of water and gently sip it, getting the taste of rancid chicken noodle out of your mouth. This was the fifth time in the bathroom this hour alone. You can feel your mouth and lips grow dry as your body has quickly removed all water and toxins from your body, and now flake at the edges.
Three knocks on the door downstairs force you to look into the mirror. Of course. Fluttershy's here. As you've been vomiting and shitting your brains out. What wonderful fucking timing. What could be worse? Will she break something and you'll go broke today? That would be fan-fucking-tastic.
You straighten yourself and rinse your mouth out with some mouthwash before heading downstairs. Honestly? One of these days, you might as well move away. But where to? The 'Elements' go to Canterlot all the time, so that's out. So then what's left? Baltimare? Phillydelphia? Manehattan?
Manehattan. Something feels right about that.
But now isn't the time. You get downstairs and head to the door. Right as she begins to knock again, you throw open the door, your stomach churning once more.
"Good Morning Ano- Anon! Are you okay? You look terribly ill."
"Yeah, just some food poisoning I guess. I- Wait. You didn't fucking poison me today, did you?" you say, reflexively.
Fluttershy looks up at you in shock.
"A-anon! T-this is twice now that you've thought I'd do something terrible to you. D-do you really think I'm such a bad mare as to hurt you like that?"
You stare down at her incredulously.
"Let's call it a hunch. Cause, honestly? Right now? I'm almost broke, Fluttershy. They're going to seize my house eventually. I have no job. I have nothing to live on. No food. And right now? I'm sicker than a dog. So please. All I want right now is some peace and quiet. Do your guess, and go home."
Fluttershy raises a hoof, then places it on her mouth. She looks to the ground, her ears folded and tail sagging.
"I-I had no idea I had such a negative impact on you, Anon. I-I... I'm sorry."
She takes a step away before raising her eyes to you.
"Come on, you came all the way here to do a fetish guess. Do it already. We're all waiting for it. Just fucking do it," you say, raising your arms to indicate an invisible audience behind you.
She stutters, then looks to the ground once more.
"I-Is holding hooves your fetish?" she asks.
"I've been vomiting, pissing, shitting my brains out all day, but that's the grossest, most repulsive thing I've heard today. Fucking disgusting," you say, before slamming the door in her face.
You take three steps way from the door, before there's three more quiet knocks at the door. Your fists clench. A growl burns in your throat. Or is that burp? Or oncoming vomit? .... No, it's a growl. We're good.
You turn on your feet and throw the door open once more.
"Fucking Wha-"
But, Fluttershy is flying off in the distance. You look down to your porch, and there, sitting on the welcome mat is a little yellow pouch. You lean over and pick it up, and inside is at least 100 bits, with a little slip of paper.
You unfold the paper and notice there's a note.
"I'll be back tomorrow with a job for you. I'm sorry. - Fluttershy"
You crumple the paper in your hand and look to the sky.
What does this mean? Is this another trap? You feel another growl in your stomach. Wait. No. That one's vomit. You toss the bag on the floor of your home, slam the door and run upstairs.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You flip the channel on your television.
"Nyeh heh heh! Now then, prepare yourself for the special attack of the great-"
You flip to the next channel on the television.
"There's only one way, Rose! Hold on to something. allons-y!"
You flip from channel to channel in frustration. My god, there is NOTHING good on. All of these overhyped pony shows are driving you nuts. Sure, they're fine at first, but once raging fanbases get behind the shows, they tend to drain away what once made it special.
"Love will thaw-"
You turn off the television and toss the remote onto the couch.
"Well, clearly television isn't for me today. Maybe something else interesting will happen," you mutter.
Your eyes move to the door and you stare for a long, hard moment. You strum your fingers. Birds quietly chip outside.
Then, a yellow pegasus crashes through a window of your living room, shattering glass everywhere.
"Hi Anon!" calls Fluttershy.
"What the ACTUAL SHIT, Fluttershy?!" you scream, rising out of your seat and backing behind the couch. "Why did you just fly through my window?"
"I-I thought I'd mix things up today. You know, add a little spice to our relationship."
"No. Bad Pony," you yell back at her. "We aren't in a relationship."
"O-oh. O-okay," she says, looking away. "Maybe you'll reconsider after my new guess today?"
You groan, placing hand on your forehead.
"Fine, but then you get to clean up this glass and leave. Got it?"
"Sure!" she says, reaching into her saddlebag and pulling out a small red box. "Are sweets your fetish?"
You examine the little red box.
"Is that... Is that pocky?" you ask.
"Well, actually, it's referred to as-"
"Get that fucking weeaboo trash out of my fucking house."
She takes a step back, apparently wounded by your words.
"B-but Anon. Pocky is great. You just have to... to..."
You take three steps towards her, and you hold a finger out at her.
"Don't you fucking-"
"Believe it," she finishes.
Silence falls in the room.
"Fucking get out," you mutter. "And put your fucking anime in the trash."
"O-okay. Bye Anon!"
She spreads her wings, then flies out a completely different window, as it shatters out into your front lawn. You look down at the floor, which is covered in glass and a few droplets of her blood.
"Well shit. Now I've gotta clean up this mess. If only I had a fucking maid or something."
Author's Note
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
When you regain your consciousness, you find yourself still in the dark. You blink, trying to grasp for any sort of bearing of your surroundings, but fail to find anything.
Fucking Fluttershy. You’ve gotta get out of here. You’ve got to do something. You struggle against the handcuffs that hold you. There’s gotta be a way to get out of these cuffs. You try to make the circumference of your wrist smaller by pressing your pinkie and thumb together.
Then, you pull your hand against the handcuffs. You feel your skin drag and peel against the metal but, to your surprise, they slip through. You pull your arms around to the front of your body and flex your fingers, barely seeing your own hands in the darkness.
You’re free. And it was… almost easy.
Whatever. There’s no time to waste. Your hands move down to the ropes around your legs and quickly undo the knots holding you. You reach forward in the darkness, searching the floor. Then, you find it, the book of matches.
You rise to your feet, stretching your tired muscles and feeling the burn on the back of your neck.
Fucking Fluttershy. You’re going to get back at her. She’s going to regret the day she did this to you. You open the matchbook, your fingers fumbling over the sides until you finally find the rough strike strip. Taking a match out, you strike a match and light up the room. Your eyes move to the covered furniture and holiday decorations.
A devilish idea over takes you. You know what? If you really want to get back at Fluttershy, you know exactly what you could do. You move to one of the blankets that covers a piece of furniture and let the match rest on it.
You watch the flame dance and slowly move to the blanket, growing and growing. You strike another match, and set a holiday tree on fire. Then another blanket. Then a couch that’s in storage. The fire crackles and burns as it begins to spread through the basement. You climb the stairs of the basement and shove the matches in your pocket. Then, you turn, watching the basement begin to burn all of Fluttershy’s belongings with pride. This is it. She’s done. The fire’s too far along to stop now. You place your hand on the basement door.
Except, the knob doesn’t turn.
You stop, your blood running cold. You turn the knob again, but it remains resolute. Shit. You look down at the knob and notice there’s a keyhole in the knob. You hear the fire crackle and roar behind you. It’s heat slowly transform the room into an oven. You search your pockets desperately and, to your surprise, find a key in your pockets. In fact, other than the matches, all you had in the pockets was the key. As if you were meant to find it.
You shove the key into the doorknob and turn it urgently, it unlocks with a click as you bust through.
And you realize, this isn’t Fluttershy’s house.
You look to the couch. You look to the rug on the floor. The kitchen. The front door.
This is your house. You turn to the fire behind you, now spreading even farther and farther over belongings you recognize from Fluttershy’s basement.
You turn to a window from your living room, and Fluttershy watches in, grinning in the moonlight.
She tricked you into setting your own home on fire.
That’s it. There’s no more mercy. You scramble to the kitchen and whip open a drawer. All of the knives and utensils are missing. You scramble to your coat closet. All of your weapons are gone. You run upstairs to your bedroom and rip out each and every drawer of your furniture, and find them completely empty. Your own closet, empty. Your bathroom drawers, empty.
You hear three loud, echoing knocks at your door.
The fire spreads, and you feel the home grow hotter and hotter.
You scramble down the stairs, your entire body consumed with panic.
You can either die here in this home, try to get away, or die in the hands of this new Fluttershy. This Fluttershy that tricked you into setting your home on fire. The Fluttershy that has no fear at burning you, branding you. She’s going to own you. She’s going to attempt to break you down into a shadow of your former self.
You have to get out of here. You don’t want to die. What did you do to deserve this?
Once you hit the bottom of the stairs, you rush through the kitchen to your back door, you turn the knob, and it’s locked tight. You back up, and in a pure rage, charge the door with all of your might.
It breaks off of the hinges, and as you leap out into the cold night air, a looming beast stands tall, silhouetting you. Harry the bear bears his claws and growls down at you.
You fall to your knees.
“Harry. Just kill me. Just do it. Please.”
A snicker rings through the air as you look to the ground, two yellow hooves approach you and stand in front of you.
“It looks like somepony’s learning their Please and Thank You’s. It looks like there may still be some hope for you yet, Anon.”
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You lay on your couch, staring at the ceiling of your apartment. Grabbing your can of liquid energy, you eye it carefully. You know, you promised yourself you wouldn't drink this shit anymore, but after a few nights of really shitty sleep... well, it's just about the only thing that keeps you ticking.
Your muscles ache in that special form of tiredness that gives you enough energy to get through the day, but makes every movement a malicious myriad of misery. You'd go to sleep, if you could, but you can't. Because the sky is awake. And when the sky is awake, your body is awake. Fuck you body. Get your own original joke.
There's three gentle knocks on the door. All you can do is groan. You know what time it is. You know exactly what it means. And you know you can't fight fate.
Grabbing your energy drink, you take another sip before rising to your feet. You feel every one of your muscles ache and protest as you stride across the floor. Maybe you should take an aspirin or two. Maybe if you fill yourself with enough crap to treat the symptoms of sleep deprivation, you can push through today.
Or miserable and in bed. Yeah. That's more likely. But let's take it a step at a time. Who knows what could happen.
You throw the door open and look down to the yellow pegasus. Surprisingly, she seems to be blindfolded. But not in the normal, kinky way. She's wearing a sleep mask, like those a pony would use when their room is too bright at night, or to accommodate a partner who turns the light on early in the middle of the fucking night and they're just PISSED. AND TIRED ABOUT IT. AND THEY'RE JUST DONE ARGUING ABOUT IT ALREADY.
Erm. She's also in a sleeping bag. It's pink and has little butterflies on it. It's cute.
Attached to the sleeping bag is a small note. You groan as you reach down to pick up the note, feeling something lightly pop in your back.
"Oh no! I have fallen asleep in a most precarious place!" Fluttershy's note reads. "I sure hope that Somnophilia isn't anypony's fetish. It would be terrible if I were to be taken advantage of right here while I'm most definitely asleep.
"Fuckin... go home, Fluttershy."
"Okay," she says with a sigh, before rising to her hooves and pulling off the mask.
With a groan, you slam the door and head back inside. You know what? Today sounds like a bed kinda day. Fuck it.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
You wake up at the crack of noon. Just like every other day, you head to the bathroom and do your business. Then, after tossing on some clothes, you trudge downstairs. On the final step,you trip and fall flat on your face, biting your tongue in the process. Dang man. That shit hurts. I mean, you aren't bleeding or anything, because that isn't this kinda story, but it is what it is. This is going to be a bad day. No good day starts like this. You should probably just go back to bed right now.
You hear three gentle knocks at the door before rising to your feet. Taking a deep breath, you decide to embrace your destiny. Also, if you didn't, you'd probably be fired and be replaced with some other Anon who would do it even better. And would have better jokes. You have a family to feed, goddamnit. You can't take that risk. You rip open your front door and see YellowDoormat standing on your front porch, just like every other day.
"What, Fluttershy?" you ask, folding your arms. "Just get it over with."
Fluttershy whimpers quietly as she reaches into her bag and pulls out a tiny bell. She hangs it on her wing before pulling out a tiny mallet with her mouth. With a twitch of her neck, she lets the mallet connect with the bell, letting a gentle ting ring through your home.
She drops the mallet at your feet before looking up to you.
"A-are bells that I made your fetish?" she asks meekly. "I-it's kind of an inside joke that nopony will understand."
You stare down at the pony, in all of her goldenrod awkwardness. Taking a step back, you slowly close the door in her face, before turning away to make your morning coffee.
"I swear these make less and less sense every day," you groan. "But at least that particular fetish guess is out of the ring."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Hearth's Warming Eve (Older)
Today is Hearth's Warming Eve. The day in Equestria where ponies spend time with their loved ones. Ponies exchange gifts, sing songs, and learn about how Equestria was originally made. A day when, while it's so cold outside, warmth comes knocking on the door to our hearts. Except for a lone human in Equestria.
You are Anon. Wait a fucking second. You've been here before. Plus, you still don't have anyone to spend Hearth's Warming Eve with. Fuck.
You gotta get your life in order bro. Get some tinder or some shit.
As you sit in front of the warm fire, you contemplate your life as the blizzard outside rages on. Suddenly, there is a massive bang from your roof. You bolt upright.
"WHAT THE FUCK!"
That was way too big to be snow. A tense moment passes as you stare at your ceiling like it knows what the fuck is going on. Some snow falls down and puts out your warm fire. A yellow pegasus, decked out in a red suit and a red hat falls down the chimney into your home.
"Hohoho Anon! I've came to give you some Christmas cheer."
"Uhh..."
"Oh, I remember you telling us all about Christmas, Anon... So I thought I would try to make this season nice for you... and not so lonely.
You take a deep breath and stare at the yellow pegasus.
"No... honestly. I'm really touched Fluttershy. This really means a lot... but..."
She looks up at you with sorrowful eyes.
"That was the last of my firewood... I don't have anything else to keep me warm... or even enough food for the both of us until the storm passes..."
A quiet sob rings through your home. Fluttershy curls into herself and cries on the floor.
"I always mess everything up... I ruined Christmas... I'm so sorry, Anon. I'm so worthless."
You look down at the pegasus, lift her into your arms, and carry her to your bed.
"We can stay warm if we cuddle up... but only this once."
She nods. The two of you climb into your bed and the two of you begin to spoon.
"Merry Christmas, Anon."
You wrap your arm around her.
"Shut up."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Another day working at Sweet Apple Acres. A light wind blows through the trees and provides refreshment on the hot and muggy day.
"Anon. You have been preparing yourself for this very moment."
You stare at your adversary.
"Just like you practiced..."
Sprint at your foe with the speed of fifty kenyans. You pull your arm back and attempt your strongest punch straight at the midsection. The tree doesn't even flinch.
"FUCK!"
That's the last time you try to do something from one of your dreams.
"H-howdy t-there partner."
"Oh not this cosplay bullshit again..."
You turn around to see Fluttershy wearing Applejack's signature stetson.
"A-ah was wonderin if you would like to h-hog tie dis here c-cowmare."
She quickly assumes the position. Face down, ass up. You stare for just a moment.
"Not good enough."
Walking past Fluttershy, who's face is filled with disappointment, you grab AJ's hat. Heading to the barn, you open the doors widely to get a huge glimpse of Applejack's mare hood.
"Oh... howdy Anon..."
Applejack's sultry tone makes you nearly vomit in the back of your throat.
"Found this. Thought I'd bring it back."
"Mah hero... however must I reward such a brave stallion..."
She wiggles her flank in the air teasingly.
"Nope. You're a shit. You're a shit tier pony."
You chuck the hat at her feet and she looks at you shocked.
"And don't you forget it. Cause that's what you are..."
Slowly exit the barn and turn back with a stern look.
"A shit."
You walk away from the sexiest mare in town with the biggest boner. Nailed it. Bitches love mean talk.
Author's Note
God damn these are awful. Only a few more of these I think.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
I feel like I should apologize for this.
Kool-Aid (Older)
You are chillin out at your place on a beautiful afternoon in Ponyville. A lazy afternoon on the couch is just what you needed after such a crazy week of Fluttershy doing all sorts of random shit to you. You weren't sure how much more you were able to take. All you need is this book, your couch and your bottle of cider.
Speaking of cider...
You reach over to grab it, but don't pay enough attention. Bumping your hand into the bottle, it falls off your coffee table and shatters on the ground.
"Oh shit."
Suddenly a deafening boom shatters the tranquility of your home as a massive Pitcher of Rapenade breaks through your wall.
"OOOHH YAAAAAYYY!"
Fluttershy, now in her new liquid form, leaps on top of you and begins to pour herself down your throat. She doesn't stop until every last drop of her is inside of you. You sit there, motionless.
"Well, that was weird."
Grabbing your book again, you notice that you have the weirdest boner. You fap at the speed of the heavens. Yellow Fluttershy Liquid shoots out of your dick instead of sperm. Oh. Great. Fucking awesome. More weird shit. This is gunna take a while. Because like hell are you going to let a single drop of Fluttershy stay inside of you.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Here we fucking go again. It's another fucking party. Leave it to Pinkie Pie to throw bullshit parties for almost any fucking litttle thing. Lo' and behold, today it's actually a normal kind of party. A tailgate. Long story short, they have some sort of game they play that's basically Quidditch, but they call it Buckball. Since Harry Potter was fucking everywhere on Earth, it was impossible not to know what it was.
However, that doesn't stop Twilight from reading to you the rules and the history of the game. The only thing helping you hold your grip onto sanity is watching Rainbow and Applejack playing a practice round. Also, that Rarity just seems to be disgusted by the whole affair. Who would have thought that something that involved a lot of movement, getting dirty, hot and sweaty wouldn't be Rarity's thing.
Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy on the otherhand....
"Oh Aaaanon..."
Are shitfaced and trying to ride your dick.
"Shut up. I'm trying to watch the game," you say to Fluttershy.
Buckball wasn't the most interesting thing in Equestria, but random violence trumps most TV here. Speaking of... when the hell is the game going to start? And where's the other team?
"Um, but Anon, I was wondering if we could play catch," Fluttershy asks.
"Really?"
"Yeah Anon! I was thinking that you could shoot your load at me..."
"No."
"Awww..." she says, burying her head into a bottle of cider.
"Nonny! NONNY! How about beer pong!" Pinkie screams.
"Well, what does the winner get?"
She bats her eyelashes devilishly at you.
"Fluttershy."
You groan and look back to Miss Book, who is still reading to you.
"Twilight, when is the game on?"
"In about 5 hours."
You grab your beer and take a deep long drink.
"A-are sports your fetish, Anon?" Fluttershy asks.
"Fuck off."
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Please Remember - Red Returns 11
Author's Note
We all reject out of hand the idea that the love of our life may be something light or weightless; we presume our love is what must be, that without it our life would no longer be the same; we feel Beethoven himself, gloomy and awe-inspiring, is playing to our own great love.
Please Remember - Red Returns 11
One suitcase. Your entire life is packed into just one suitcase. You get your train ticket, board the train and step into a train car. A train car not unlike the one your rode here in with Red.
And now she's in danger. Because of you .
You take a deep breath and touch the edges of your suitcase, knowing what lies within is one of the most outlawed objects in Equestria. Everything is going to come to an end. A single, final, conclusive end. Either Fluttershy isn't coming out of this, or you aren't. There's no other choices.
You close your eyes, feeling a rotting weight in your stomach begin to settle, it's wriggling maggots twisting and turning and festering from within. You've put Redheart into this. She deserves better than this.
Hell, all of this was no more than some... matter of chance. Redheart was originally part of Fluttershy's original plan to tear you down and to keep you for forever. However, because the two of you happened to fall in love, you beat the odds and escaped that fate for an even worse one.
You feel the weight on your shoulders begin to grow heavier. This is your fault.
She could have fallen in love with any number of possibilities of any number of different multiverses where you would never have the light of your life. She would have been safe, no, better, happy. She would have been happy with any number of possible lovers and lived a wonderful, fulfilling life.
Yet, now you've done this. You've put her into the line of fire.
The train whistle pierces through the air. This is your last chance to get off this ride. This is your last chance to step away from all of this. To resolve this without bloodshed.
You remain steadfast and breathe in the stagnant air, and you remember something she told you.
"I can't do this to you," she said, the night you made that fateful choice. "You're too sweet. Too kind. Too wonderful for some terrible mare like me to do this to you."
You bite your lip and close your eyes.
You never really had a choice, did you? She believed she was the terrible, but in the end, you're the monster who was drawn to her. With a predictable wild animal who takes down anything who gets between you and it. You've put her into this mess.
The train's wheels begin to set into motion and you feel the jolt of the machine as it lurches forward to your home.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
The Pecan Tree - Red Returns 15
Author's Note
Drooling red from my eyes to meet the bitter sun that shines past into light
The Pecan Tree - Red Returns 15
You walk out of Redheart's home and slip the gun in the back of your jeans, then cover it with your shirt. You set off to your destination. Home.
You can feel your clammy hands grow cold against the night wind. Your steps echo loudly as you walk through the dirt roads outside of town. Occasionally, you close your eyes and just hold them, relishing the darkness for a moment. If you were to die, today. What would it be like?
Would you return to Earth? What would happen? Would this be the final note of your existence? Dying in a new world, devoid of other humans? Would there be anything waiting for you on the other side? Is there some greater creator or force that would judge you for every misdeed you've done?
Would you be judged harshly for your actions against Fluttershy? If you murder her today, are you condemned?
When you open your eyes, you find yourself leaving town. The dirt road leading off to the houses that live on the edge of town winds on and on. And there, on the side of the road stands a tree, worn and sickly. Its leaves had fallen to the ground in a broken melancholy, its outer bark peeling and falling to the ground. When you moved into this town, the world was so green and filled with life. However, now? Even the grass feels as if it has turned yellow and dead. The sky feels gray and apathetic. The quiet indifference of the world stagnates in your throat as you push yourself forward.
It's as if the fabric of reality itself boils with rage at this turn of events. How dare you. How dare you decide to take a life. What is wrong with you.
"It's the only way," you mutter, as if the tree demanded an answer. It refuses to dignify your existance.
How dare you. You are ruining everything. Things will never be the same.
Another soft breeze graces your cheeks as you place a well grounded step forward and continue on. The gun weighs heavy and freezing on your back. Your teeth grind. Your muscles ache and protest as you move forward.
Then, there. In front of you is your home.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
Author's Note
There's nothing to comment on here.
Insects (Patreon Voted)
^&!@#$^&#$
It's another, beautiful average day in Equestria. You open your eyes from a night of wonderfully restful sleep and feel refreshed and ready to start the day. You rise to your feet and stretch your arms wide and rub your eyes.
Wait a moment. Are these... tears? That's weird. You don't remember having a sad dream. Oh well.
You throw on some clothes, inspect your slowly growing beard in the mirror, and head downstairs for a morning cup of coffee.
Then, of course, there are three gentle knocks at the door. But today, you honestly don't mind. Fluttershy's fetish guesses are usually weird and uncomfortable, annoying even, but aren't usually harmful. You grab your cup of coffee and throw open the door.
Fluttershy stands at the door, smiling widely to herself.
"Good Morning, Anon! I'm happy you put on pants!" she says happily.
You open your mouth to speak, but her strange greeting throws you beyond off guard. What the actual fuck, Fluttershy?
"Uh, good morning to you-"
But Fluttershy wastes no time as she opens the box, leaps toward you, opens your pants, and slides the contents of the box into your pants.
That's when you feel the wiggling, the pinching, scuttling.
"HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FU-"
You immediately begin to hop around like a bunny on asphalt in Mexican Summer. But this seems to only make your new trouser friends angry, as you begin to feel the biting.
"Are insects on your penis your fetish, Anon?" Fluttershy asks softly.
"NO YOU STUPID BI- OH MY GOD WORMS DO NOT GO THERE!!!!!"
"Are insects inside your penis your fetish, Anon?" Fluttershy counters happily.
You immediately rip your pants and underwear off and douse your body in scalding hot coffee to get the bugs off. Which, of course, just cause you to scream, but the bugs are also not a fan of hot coffee, and fall to the ground, scuttling back to their buttercup colored master.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, FLUTTERSHY?!"
"Oh, you know," Fluttershy says happily. "No fetish is too insignificant, Anon. It's not as if I'm trying to punish you for something."
And on that note, Fluttershy turns and leaves, humming happily to herself.
Fluttershy Wants in Your Pants: Vol. 1
It's another average day in Equestria, and you can't help feel... lonely. It's been awhile since you've had------------
It's another average day in Equestria, and you can't help feel... lonely. You've never really had a marefriend before. It's just been you, your home, and Fluttershy. You can't help but notice some sort of poetic nature to that. Just you, your home, and a mare who wants nothing more than to make you happy.
Now if only she stopped trying to get in your pants every morning, maybe something could be worked out. Maybe. Probably not. But hell, if it breaks up the monotony, then maybe it's worth considering.
You're sitting on your couch, wondering what you could do to try and get the feelings of loniness off your mind. You could adopt a plant. Then you'd be one of those people who name a plant, water it every day, talk to it. Fret every time it wilts a little bit. No offense to any plant-lovers, but that doesn't seem like the life path for you.
Then, there are three knocks at your front door. You rise to your feet, realizing it's that time again.
You open the door, and Flutterbutterstutters is sitting patiently on the other side. Her eyes are drooping slightly, and her nose is slightly red.
"G-good Morning Anon," she says in a nazally voice. "A-are puppies your fetish?"
Sure enough, you look down, and there's a box of puppies, five of them.
"Are you asking if I want to fuck a puppy? Really?" you ask incredulously. "Fluttershy, you're sick. Go home. Where did you even get these puppies?"
"The alley in Ponyville," she sighs. "I'm just not feeling it today, Anon. So if you don't mind, can you do the part where you insult me so I can go home?"
"No, you fucking idiot. You-"
"Okay, thanks. Bye," she says, trotting down the path.
And sure enough, Fluttershy is gone, refusing your calls to take these homeless puppies away. You kneel down and look inside the box. There, sitting in the corner of the box, resting peacefully, is a small wolf-ish pup. What was the name of that breed again? A Huskie? A Shepard?
You pick the puppy out of the box and hold him- no, that's a her- in your arms.
You know what? I think I'll call you, Red.
There's something deep inside you that warms at that name. It's perfect.
You place the pup in the bathroom tub for now, with a small bowl of water and a pillow to sleep on. The first thing to do is to get that box back to the local pet center. No, not Fluttershy. The actual vet. Then, maybe they can suggest what you'd like to feed your new little friend.
Maybe things will be a bit less lonely now.
