Love the One You're With

by CinnamonSwirltheBreaded

Rating: everyone
Tags: Sad, Romance, Princess Cadance, Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 2919

For the past few years, Cadance has hidden a secret from everypony she knows. However, nothing stays hidden forever.

Love is certainly a funny, wonderful thing. Cadance never expected it to grow into something so painful for her.

Try as she might, she can't hide it forever, not from herself, and certainly she can't hide it from her husband...

Published 2015-12-31 08:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-31 08:50:01 UTC

Chapter 1

Twilight was going home, and that filled Cadance with an unusual sadness.

Cadance let her hoof rest on the balcony railing and her smile wilted slightly as she watched Twilight’s form in the distance. Equestria’s youngest princess was swooping down, circling over her friends as they headed away from the Palace and towards the train station. It wasn’t the most skilled aeronautic display she had ever seen, although it was hardly fair to critique Twilight for not displaying the skill a born pegasus might.

Honestly she was much more confident in the air than the last time Cadance had seen her, and confident in general; it only served to remind her of how the little filly, who once panicked at the mere suggestion of being tardy, had matured over the past few years. ‘Matured’ wasn’t the right word, not really. Nopony who had met Twilight—even when she was a filly barely able to reach her sitter’s shoulder—could think of her as ‘immature’ unless they were deliberately obtuse and refused to see the keen mind residing in that adorable little head of hers.

No, matured was the wrong word; seasoned would fit better. There was no doubt in her mind that Twilight had grown, become so much more than what she had been, and every time she had seen her, even at a distance, the breadth and depth of that growth… It was wonderful.

Just days earlier, Twilight had mentioned she had reconnected with all the friends she had once had before moving to Ponyville. Neither Cadance nor her husband had particularly wanted to point out the fact that they had been probably little better than acquaintances. She clearly valued them as friends now, however little she may have valued them then, and it was nice to see Lyra and Moondancer again. Even if she couldn’t help but grimace at the jokes Lyra made about the wedding…

Still, they were now going, heading back to the train until the next time she got to see her, to see Twilight. All too often they only really seemed to meet when the world was coming to an end, or as functionaries on separate sides of a political thing—the sort of thing that wasn’t fun for ponies like herself, and really did very little to accomplish anything, anyhow.

Cadance felt the smile on her face finally slip away and the sense of wistfulness grew in her, as Twilight faded away into a purple speck that landed and disappeared into the crowd. Until next time, Twilight.

“Never thought we’d see Moondancer again,” Shining murmured as he stepped up beside her, staring down the road as if he could pick his sister out of the distant, milling ponies by sheer force of will. “She really is the Princess of Friendship, isn’t she?”

She glanced at her husband without moving her head and gave a small nod as her smile returned to its full strength—regardless of the ache in her chest—as she leaned up against the stallion. His mere presence was enough to drive away some of the melancholy.

When she turned to look at him, though, she paused, whatever she was about to say forgotten by the expression on his face. It wasn’t unhappy, not exactly, but tinged with the sort of sadness that suggested he would have preferred his LSBFF stay longer; nostalgia for days gone past when he got to be Twilight’s brother in deed, rather than just in name, she supposed. And something more, something Cadance couldn’t place her wingtip on, couldn’t understand. It was small, yet for somepony who knew his face so well, it was as obvious as the sun. Worry? Anxiety? Perhaps a hint of dismay as well…

“What’s wrong, Shiny?” Cadance asked. After everything they had been through, it hardly seemed worth it to beat around the bush, to try and get him to tell her without prompting. She’d like to think the soldier in him preferred it that way.

“I…” Shining trailed off, turning his head to look at her. “Y-You love her, don’t you?”

Cadance’s chest twinged slightly, an icy shiver of fear running down her spine at the question; it took her a moment to regain her composure. “Of course I do, Shining. She’s almost my sister, for Celestia’s sake.”

Her husband bit his lip, glancing away as if seeking respite from something unpleasant. “That’s not what I meant, Cadance. You don’t love her as a sister, not truly. I think in the past… maybe. But now? No.”

“What other sort of love could I have for her, Shining?” Cadance asked, smiling at him and bumping him with her hip. It was only slightly forced, a little bit fake.

“Romantic,” Shining snorted. “Which, I think, you’re familiar with.”

“Shining,” Cadance made her voice firm, despite the pounding of her heart and dryness of her mouth. Her Aunt had taught her how to maintain an outward appearance of calm in even the gravest of situations. “I love her like a sister. What even makes you think such a thing anyway?”

He said nothing for a moment, looking almost bemused, as if she was being deliberately naive for a prank or something; under that she could see a smirk waiting to blossom. Years of military training had given her husband an excellent poker face, and to another pony, he probably looked like he had a face of stone. His lips, though, betrayed him, at least to her.

Shining sighed gustily, and shook his head. “I can feel it, Cady.” His lips couldn’t resist anymore, breaking into a wan-looking smirk. “The love you feel towards her… it’s like… I don’t know how to describe it.”

“Huh? What do you mean…?” Her heart fluttered almost painfully, as her calm composure cracked as her wings flared and she danced sideways with alarm. For all the good putting a little bit of distance between herself and her husband would do. Feel it? How?

“You’re forgetting our vows, aren’t you?” Shining said pointedly, and for a moment, she could felt as if she couldn’t breathe. She had done nothing! Nothing! How could he say such a thing? Of course she hadn’t forgotten her vows. Their vows! “I’m talking about the spell, Cadance—remember?” he added gently, and not unkindly, perhaps sensing her internal strife.

“Oh,” Cadance said, her mouth forming a perfect expression of surprise as her horn briefly vibrated with half-remembered magic.

Socius, that sharing of talents, of skills and magic… most ponies didn’t realize that the spells cast on them during the final taking of vows wasn’t merely a bunch of pretty lights, or merely symbolic… it joined them, allowed them to share in each other’s talents and essence on a much more personal and intimate level. In the most basic sense, it allowed the other to use one’s magic as it it were their own. Of course, for most ponies, the effect wasn’t nearly as pronounced… even if the other pony got a deeper sense of yourself. For powerful ponies, though, the depth of the connection forged by the Socius spell was much deeper; for her it meant suddenly being able to shield a whole city and for Shining it meant...

And Shining was right, she had forgotten. Born a pegasus and raised as a earth pony, then, only then, raised as a princess, magic—spells and such—were still a foreign thing to her, and Socius was very much unicorn magic. The minutia weddings had never held much appeal to her. All the pomp and to-do of a ceremony didn't matter much in the face of love — real, true love, as genuine and pure as the ringing of a bell. That's how she felt for Shining, and that was what mattered.

Which was fairly problematic, considering she also felt that same real, true, clear-as-ringing-bells love for her little sister-in-law...

Merely thinking it was painful, and she had kept it hidden so long, from her friends, her aunt, her husband...

...herself.

Shining must have noticed her reaction, silent though the thoughts flitting through her head might have been, and his self-assured smirk faltered. He took a step towards her, closing the gap between them before saying softly; “I’m not mad, Cady.”

“I love you,” Cadance said, taking a step sideways and turning to face him head on. Her vision blurred and she had to blink hard to clear it away. This was wrong, all wrong. “I do, Shining, you know I do!”

“I do know, Mi Amore.” She had always loved the way he turned her horrible name into something filled with true affection and desire. His soft nuzzle against her neck followed her, even as she stepped backwards and found herself out of balcony to escape too, and punctuated the soft affections with a kiss, before looking her directly in the eyes. “Don’t think I don’t know that! The only reason I know is because the love you have for her is what you have for me.”

“I... “ She wasn’t trapped, but she couldn’t bring herself to push him away either; why was he doing this to himself? “H-how long?”

“Not too long,” Shining admitted into her shoulder, his hot breath curling around her like a hug of a different sort. “Or… a while. I didn’t understand it, at first, I think. And there was always so much going on…” There was a pause, and he pulled back. “Probably didn’t want to believe it, either.”

“It's only a crush, Shining,” Cadance said after a moment, resolutely putting her everything into the lie.

Which, of course, he saw through immediately.

“You know it isn’t,” he shook his head, turning and looking out over the horizon, where a train could be seen just leaving the station. “Or are you saying you’ve only got a crush on me, too?”

“What! No!” Cadance started, and sighed, following her husband’s gaze out over the Empire the two of them ruled together. “I… it’ll never be more than a crush, Shining, I promise you, it won’t be. We both know it should never even be that. Perhaps if I was a better mare, or a better—”

Shining’s hoof gently cut her off, pressing against her lips and holding them shut.

“I’ve always known you’ve had a big heart, Cady,” he said after she stopped trying to speak around his hoof. “Bigger than most ponies will really know or understand… and I can see why.” her husband turned back towards the city, his eyes flicking back and forth, following… following love, those twisting, pulsing strings of motes of purest gold and vibrant silver. How could she have missed it? Briefly, she wondered if this was how she looked to other ponies when she watched love lines dance through the air.

“Doesn’t matter,” Cadance said, forcing steel into her voice, trying to sound resolute and unyielding even as her lip quavered.

“Of course it does,” The playful tone in his voice drew Cadance’s eyes back to him, to that irrepressible smirk on his lips. “Somepony once told me the only thing one could do with love, that was wrong, was to deny it. Love is beautiful, she said, and should never been hidden or something to be ashamed of.”

She smiled despite the situation. It conjured up fond memories of a silly young colt, trying to explain to her why they should never be together.

“She sounds like a wise mare, indeed,” Cadance said, sounding more amused than she really intended, given the gravity of the situation she suddenly found herself in. “I… she... “ she shook herself, ruffling her feathers in a very unlady like fashion. “Even if I… it doesn’t matter, Shining, it doesn’t. She doesn’t see me that way, and I could never think of acting on these feelings, not if it meant hurting you, and it would hurt her too, because she’d see it for what it was. Betraying you.”

“Is it? Betrayal, I mean?” he asked, his expression neutral as he turned to watch the city go about its day, unaware of the crisis in the Royal family. At least, it felt that way to her. “I won’t lie to you, Cadance, it… it did hurt at first, a bit. When I first realized, first understood what I was feeling between you and her…”

His voice was so strained, all Cadance could do was place her hoof on his withers comfortingly as she pressed close, hoping it would be welcomed rather than rejected. Shining smiled at her briefly, and pressed back against her, nestling under her wing. He seemed to draw strength from her presence, which made her smile hopefully.

“It was never easy, you know, being her brother,” Shining continued. Cadance’s smile slipped, even though he sounded happier. There was an undeniable bitterness to the words, if not the tone. “It’s like that old song, anything I could do, she could do better. She was always smarter than me, more capable than me. Braver, too. She can do things with defensive magic that I couldn’t even conceive of, until she showed me how.” He bit his lip and sighed heavily. “I suppose it's only reasonable she’d win your heart without even trying, too.”

“Oh Shining,” Cady couldn’t help herself, she pressed her muzzle against his neck and kissed him gently. “You never had to win my heart, I loved you from the moment I saw you. And you are smart, and brave and capable. Never think you’re not.”

“She faced Nightmare Moon without a lick of training, though,” Shining said, wistfully. “And Discord…”

“Do you really think my Aunt was teaching her nothing but books, Shining? She may not have gone through bootcamp, but she trained her just as hard.” Cadance shook her head, recalling her own training that Celestia had insisted she undertake so she could defend herself. Not that it had helped against Chrysalis.

Luna had threatened her with a refresher course, but thankfully the reappearance of the Crystal Empire had put that off—and she seemed to have forgotten about it.

“I…” Shining shook his head. “That wasn’t my point; my point is that I understand. I think I’ve gotten a better understanding of who you are, inside, than I ever had before I married you and… I-I’m okay with it.” Shining suddenly grinned and turned to her. “It’s funny, she asked me once what I had done to get you to marry me, and I told her that you weren’t just getting a husband, but a sister too.” Her husband paused and his smile slowly melted into a more neutral, serious expression. “I don’t mind sharing you, especially not with her, Cadance, if that’s what’s in your heart. I’m not going to stand in your way. You should tell her.”

Cadance looked at him for a moment, the way he smiled at her, the honesty in his words. Perhaps it should have surprised her, except... it didn’t, not truly. She felt the strength of his love everyday, how could she be surprised by his desire to make her happy, regardless of the cost? This would just be something they’d have to work through, together, as a couple.

She kissed him, slowly and with meaning, the sort of kiss that promised things she was more than happy to make good on. Later, when they were alone.

Then she pulled back, and shook her head. “No, Shining.”

“But…”

Cadance cut him off with her hoof. “No. You’re my husband, and I love you. This... “ Her voice trailed off, then shook her head. “This is foolishness. Besides, I doubt she feels the same about me—and it is a betrayal, she’d see that, and I do too, even if you don’t.”

“I think she might, actually,” Shining said softly.

Her heart skipped a beat, betraying her with a sense of hope that had no place in her breast. Not that she voiced it; “Don’t you think I would know if she did?”

“Would you?”

She bit her lip. It had been so hard to see, the love between herself and future husband… What if it were true? What if Twilight felt the same and—she bit her lip harder, almost enough to draw blood. Her path was set and anything else…

“Yes,” Cadance said, forcing the self doubt and question out of her head. “And I think we should just drop it, Shining. It is what it is, but nothing will change. I promise.”

Shining looked at her, his expression mostly neutral, with just a hint of skepticism in his eyes, before he nodded and smiled. “I stand by what I said, Cadance, you don’t have to… deny yourself.” There was a pause and he shook himself, brushing up against her. “I suppose we ought to get back to our duties.”

She couldn’t help her glance over her shoulder as the two of them stepped inside, with her wing draped over her husband protectively. She could almost feel the beating of his heart, and as she pushed her wistfulness aside for what could never be, she couldn’t help but feel a tidal surge of affection for her husband rise up inside her breast. So self-sacrificing, he’d really do anything for me, anything to make me happy...

“Actually, Shining, love,” she cooed as she kissed him in the secret spot on his neck, “I think I’d rather remind you just how much I love you…”

Author's Note

See? Two stories per year!

I'm not late or anything :twilightsheepish: