"I'm not afraid... they're just so... cheesy!"
It was another bright day in the small town of Ponyville. The sun was shining and the colts and fillies trotted around joyfully. Spike the dragon smiled as he looked out of one of the many windows covering Twilight Sparkle's Friendship Castle. Gazing down upon Ponyville, he could tell he was going to have a great day. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case with the new alicorn princess.
"Wait... does that mean that I'm not really in this story?" Spike asked the narrator.
Not after the pagebreak, no. But you have a character tag and you've even got dialogue! Of course, that's before the break as well.
"Really?" Spike sighed.
Yeah, pretty much.
"PIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!" Bloodcurdling screams arose from the basement of Sugarcube Corner, and seemed loud enough to be heard from Canterlot. Pinkie Pie grinned as her eyes glanced over to Rainbow Dash, who had long watery tears streaming down her red face.
"This is rich, Rainbow Dash, rich!" The pink pony piped.
"STOP! P-PUT IT DOWN!" Twilight Sparkle screamed from the chair she was tied to. Her hooves were tied behind her back, and her wings were of no use at all.
"Rainbow Dash... enough. Now for the bad boy." Pinkie addressed. Dash nodded and sat down the poster she was waving in the air. Made out of a small white posterboard, it had a drawn picture of a quesadilla on it. The cyan pegasus rolled her eyes at the poster, and then once more at Twilight's odd fear.
The purple princess was the most logical pony that Dash had ever known. Egghead, brainiac, nerd- she had fought evil foes trying to conquer Equestria, and was even the ruler of an entire village. So why did she fear quesadillas as much as she did?
"Hey, Twilight... whatcha think of this?!" Pinkie Pie pulled a China plate from her straightened mane and forced it onto the alicorn's lap. Shaking her head, an authentic looking quesadilla flew out from her hair as well. It landed on the plate perfectly.
Twilight gasped. "No! No, no, no, no, nooooo!" She closed her eyes and threw her chin upwards, avoiding any and all perivial vision of the food. Squirming around, she tried to escape. However, her attempts were useless.
Dash facehoofed. "It's plastic, Twi."
Twilight stopped squirming. Looking down, she gasped again and closed her eyes shut, and once again resumed her kicking and dodging movements.
Pinkie sighed. "I promised Shining Armor I'd help her get over her fear of quesadillas," she took her hoof and grabbed the plate, and sat it on the floor beside Twilight, "but I've tried everything. Derpy gave her a quesadilla flavored muffin, my sister Maud read her a poem about cheese, and-"
"Um... a bit of help here? Also, I have said it before- I'm not afraid... they're just so...cheesy!" Twilight shivered.
Rainbow Dash sighed. "It really is a stupid thing to be afrai- I mean, to... dislike. So what, it's not like there's more cheese in them than there is on pizza or macaroni."
"No, there really is! I did an analysis on it- four times! I'll do it a fifth time to prove it to you."
"No thanks, I don't want one of your research papers." Dash mumbled as she untied the princess from the chair.
"I'm sorry that I don't like to eat every food. You, Pinkie, can tell Shining Armor that I won't do it. In fact, I'll tell him myself. He is my brother, of course." Twilight stepped out of the chair and stretched her legs and wings. "Ahhhh.... better."
Rainbow Dash chuckled. "You know you could've used your magic, right?"
Twilight's pupils darted to the top of her eyes as she looked towards her forehead. Sudden anger began to rise. "DANG YOU QUESADILLA!"
Pinkie and Dash looked at their friend. Then, they literally began rolling on the floor laughing. "You're right, Pinks!" Rainbow said in between laughs, "This is rich!"
Pinkie giggled uncontrollably. "T-twilight! A-ahahah-hahaha!" She wiped her eyes and looked up, "You're so funny! It's no wonder you're not the element of laughter!"
"But I'm not even laughing! And, what's so funny anyways?" She raised an eyebrow.
"You got so angry at a quesa-quesadilla!" Dash broke into laughter once more.
"Ugh!" Twilight teleported to upstairs.
Pinkie and Rainbow looked at each other and sighed. "We have to make her eat one." Pinkie said.
"That's why I'm here- to hold her down while you stuff it in her face." Dash replied.
"But... we tried that already." Pinkie pointed out.
"So? We try again."
"We could...Oh my Celestia! That's it! My cousin can help us!" Pinkie's mane and tail inflated and a smile grew on her face.
"Your... cousin?"
"Yeah! She taught me that with a spoonful of sugar, I can eat anything! Come on!" At once, the pink pony ran up the stairs, with Dash following closely behind.
Twilight Sparkle sat outside of the sweet shop. She couldn't blame them for trying to help her, but their motives were wrong. Twilight continued to ponder.
Pinkie bounced outside and stood beside the alicorn. "I wish that my cousin Lolly would get here- she's really nice. She has rosy cheeks and everything! You can't go wrong with rosy cheeks."
"Lolly? I've never heard of that cousin before." Rainbow said as she hovered above the doorway.
"Yeah! She works, taking care of foals. But sometimes, and at the best of times too, she comes floating in!"
"Floating in? Is she a pegasus?" Twilight asked.
"What? My family is only made of earth ponies, silly!" Pinkie smiled.
"Then, what do you mea-"
"Lolly Poppins! My favorite cousin!" Pinkie interrupted Twilight's question. The earth pony faced Dash and elbowed her. "She's my only cousin..." she whispered.
"Pinkie Pie!~" Lolly sang. Lolly was an earth pony like Pinkie had claimed. She had light purple fur, similar to Twilight Sparkle's. She had a long blue and pink mane and tail, both wrapped into spiral-looking buns. Her cutiemark was a matching pink and blue lolly pop with a deep purple heart behind it. Her eyes were the same shade of dark purple.
She held onto a tall black umbrella, and was floating in the air. She came down to the ground rather quickly, and had a smoother landing than Rainbow Dash had ever seen. Dash and Twilight's jaws dropped, and Dash even fell onto the ground. Pinkie, on the other hoof, smiled widely.
"Rosy cheeks and all!" Pinkie's eyes beamed.
"My, this is much different than London. I haven't been in Equestria for such a long time."
"I know! We need to visit more often!" Pinkie turned to her friends. "That one's Rainbow Dash, with the rainbow hair of course! And the alicorn is Twilight Sparkle."
Lolly smiled widely. "Hello, I am Lolly Poppins. Glad to meet you."
"Hi, Lolly Pop. Hey, how'd ya-" Dash began.
"Poppins." Lolly corrected her.
Dash groaned. "Fine. How'd ya float on an umbrella all the way from London? What... what was that? You just came out of nowhere! Pinkie... Did you summon her or something?"
Twilight raised a hoof. "Pinkie can do lots of things, but she can't summon- she has no unicorn magic!"
"It was my Lolly-sense, dear." Lolly Poppins smiled.
"Lolly-sense...?" Twilight's eyes twitched. "Ugh!"
Lolly faced Pinkie. "What's wrong with her?"
"She's afraid to eat quesadillas, and Dash and I can't get anything to work!" Pinkie explained.
Lolly gasped. "Not the cheese!"
Twilight half smiled."Finally, a pony that understands! Yes, the cheese is horrendous!"
"And the burning! They are too hot!" Lolly sighed, "Especially when all the cheese drips out!"
"No, not the long, drippy burning hot melting cheese!" Twilight began to bite at her hoof in anxiety.
Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Twi, you should see the look on your face!"
"Don't worry, Twilight Sparkle," Lolly Poppins said, "A spoonful of sugar helps the quesadillas go down!"
"Wait, what?" The alicorn asked.
"A spoonful of sugar helps the quesadilla go down, helps the quesadilla go down, helps the quesadilla go down!~" Lolly sang.
"Nooooooo! Stop! Stop, stop, stop!" Twilight screamed.
It was too late. Rainbow Dash was holding Twilight Sparkle down, and Lolly had a spoonful of sugar already down Twilight's throat. Pinkie held a quesadilla in her hooves, about to force it into the princess's mouth when
"That's not nice, Discord." Spike said as he looked up at the narrator.
What? After she imprisoned me in stone, I can't make her eat a slice of cheese?
"No. Just... no, Discord." Spike faceclawed.
Look! You even made me leave off on a cliffhanger too! Now my readers will never know how the story ends.
"I don't think anyone's gonna read this. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going to tell Twilight what you just wrote." Spike huffed.
Wait, no- stop, Spike!
...darn it.
Author's Note
...I have no idea what I just wrote. 
I don't really know anything about Mary Poppins. Lolly Poppins isn't her pony version either... unless you as the reader interpret her that way. It could go either way, really. 
Cover art given to me by Draconaquest!
This is unedited. If you see any mistakes, please let me know nicely in the comments. Also, if you could take the time to rate (the up/down-vote buttons) this story, I'd really appreciate it! 
