Whoever Makes a Beast of Themselves

"Thanks for the ride partner," Applejack said, she fanned her face with her stetson, blonde hair waving in the small breeze, turning to Sunset Shimmer," but when are we gettin goin again?" She squinted her emerald eyes, looking around. Nothin in sight.

"Soon," Sunset sighed wiping the grease of the engine on a cloth. Her orange and yellow hair was covered in blotches of oil. Her leather jacket was set on the ground next to her. Next to that was a tool box," if the engine would just start."

The sun beat down on Sunset and Applejack. The car had broken down in the middle of nowhere, there were no bars, no gas stations, mechanics, they were in the middle of a desert.

"Maybe ya just ain't doin' it right," Applejack said.

"No AJ, I know how to fix my own car," Sunset sighed," but something isn't right about this at all. I swear I just got it fixed after last weeks magical mishap."

"Well i'm sure it just needs one of them jumpstarts," Applejack suggested.

"Yeah," Sunset said walking around to the back of the car," i'm sure I have a battery back here to get her goin."

Sunset opened the trunk and a few batches of apples fell out.

"Applejack," Sunset sighed," why are there a bunch of apples in my trunk?"

"Oh well ya see," Applejack laughed," I couldn't fit em in mah briefcases. So I didn't think you'd mind if I emptied out yer trunk and put em in there."

"Applejack," Sunset groaned," you tossed out the only way to jumpstart the car."

"Whoops, I suppose I gone and did."

"AJ, do you have the map?"

"Why coarse I do sugar cube."

"Well can I look at it?"

"Sure thang."

Applejack opened the back door to Sunset's car and grabbed the map. Sunset packed the apples back down and slammed the trunk, the crunching of apples escaped the trunk and Sunset groaned, it was going to take forever to get that cleaned out. Applejack handed Sunset the map, the nearest town was fifteen miles north, if they started now they'd come across a gas station by nightfall.

"So what're we doin about all this," Applejack asked, peering over Sunset's shoulder at the map.

"Well if we head north we should reach a gas station, there we'll call a tow truck out here to pick up the car, and take us into town."

Sunset folded the map and stuffed it in her jacket. Sunset and Applejack began walking north. Down the road the glint of metal, sparkled, in the desert. The object was an old, red convertible. As they got closer Sunset and Applejack could hear the sound of music blasting from the radio. They didn't see any driver or passengers, as they got closer the smell of guano emitted from the hood. Applejack leaned in, and on the seats was a man, with long, black hair. He wore shades over his eyes and his hands held his head. He had a smile on his face, an eerie sort of smile, as if he had done something sinister. His shirt was cut off at the shoulders, and the words Avenged Sevenfold sprawled across the front. He wore jeans, with chains on either side, and his boots were covered in sand and mud.

"Oh hello," the man said," I had no idea i'd be expecting company, give me a sec."

The man struggled to get out of his position, grunting as he sat up.

"So," he said, taking off his sunglasses," what can I do for ya, an autograph, a picture? If you're here for the money I told your boss I ain't got it."

"We were actually going to ask for a ride, maybe borrow your cellphone," Sunset mumbled.

"What was that sweetie," the man asked," i'm afraid the music is cutting you out."

"We were wondering if you could give us a ride to the nearest town," Sunset shouted," and maybe borrow your cellphone."

"A ride," the man asked," sure, hop on in. I was just heading that way anyways, I decided to take a rest out here."

"Why in tarnations are you restin in the middle of the desert," Applejack asked.

"Just letting in all the memories I had out here," the man smiled," is that a bad thing?"

"Well no, I suppose it ain't," Applejack rolled her eyes.

"Well what're ya waitin for," the man asked," bats to fly outta the engine?"

"Well, no," Sunset said, an eyebrow raised.

"Then come on," the man laughed, patting the seat next to him," you can sit up front sexy."

"Sir are ya drunk," Applejack asked as she got in the back.

"No," the man continued laughing," no i'm just having a great time."

As Sunset sat down the man floored on the peddle. The convertible skidded on the sand before taking off down the road. The man turned up the music as he took a right, speeding up as he did. For the next few minutes the two girls were silent. The car ground to a halt outside a motel and the girls got out, followed by the man. The motel looked ragged, and worn down, lights flickered and the doors creaked on their hinges.

"Wow," Sunset smiled nervously," I really like the, color?"

"Oh don't talk like that," the man laughed," this is only the outside, you're going to love the inside."

The man took them to the front where an old woman sat perched on a plastic chair. Her eyes seemed so large compared to the rest of her face, and a smile stretched, uncomfortably across her face.

"Mornin Judy," the man waved," how's the business?"

"Very well," Judy replied," just got a brand new stock, all thanks to you."

"Excuse me, um, Judy," Sunset interrupted," you wouldn't have a phone I can use, would you?"

"Why yes deerie," Judy replied," it's inside, help yourself."

"Come on AJ," Sunset hurried," this place gives me the creeps."

Applejack and Sunset walked through the door and towards the front desk. The place looked rather new, with strange wallpaper set around. Skulls with bat wings were plastered across the wallpaper and the floor was covered by a deep gray carpet. At the desk, a computer sat, and next to it, a phone. Sunset picked it up and dialed Twilight's number, if anyone would waste no time coming here, it was Twilight. The phone rang a few times before it went to voice mail.

"Hi, you've reached the cellphone of Twilight Sparkle. I am currently unavailable at the moment, most likely studying for my application to an independent study program, please leave a message after the beep and I will try to get back to you as soon as possible."

The phone clicked and soon after it beeped.

"Hey Twilight," Sunset said into the phone,"first of all, you still haven't changed your answering machine message, second, we're currently at a motel near, Applejack go ask the guy where we are."

Applejack nodded and walked out the door leaving Sunset alone.

"Excuse Mr." Applejack paused, he hadn't even told them his name.

"Swodahs," the man smiled,"Swodahs M."

"Excuse me Mr. Swodahs, where are we exactly," Applejack asked.

"It's hard to say," Swodahs laughed looking around," why did IT call YOU here?"

"You drove us up here," Applejack frowned, both confused, and angered by the answer she received.

"But your car broke down," Swodahs nodded off to the open desert," you woulda wound up dead if this place hadn't demanded our fates touch."

"What in tarnations are you babblin on 'bout."

"Welcome to the strangest place in the U.S. of A," Swodahs laughed, spreading out his arms as if there were more to see.

"A motel?"

"No, go on and walk around, you may find things aren't exactly what they seem pretty lady."

Swodahs laughed as he turned around and walked into the motel.

"Wait one dog pickin minute there."

Applejack ran into the building but there was no sign of Swodahs, only Sunset Shimmer.

"So, did you find out where we are," Sunset asked.

Applejack looked around, exasperated by what just happened.

"The strangest place in the U.S.A," Applejack replied.

"That isn't much of an answer AJ," Sunset frowned.

"That's all Swodahs told me before he disappeared, enterin this motel," Applejack continued to look around, trying to understand how he had done it.

"Swodahs, the guy from outside right," Sunset asked.

"Yeah. He gone and walked in here, but now he ain't here," Applejack frowned, looking around.

"I didn't see him come in here AJ," Sunset said, raising an eyebrow.

"How in tarnations did you miss him," Applejack shouted.

"Because he never walked in the building," Sunset replied.

"Right so I told Twilight to just come and pick us up, once she finds the strangest place in the U.S.A," Sunset said.

"Then I suppose we should look around," Applejack said," Swodahs told me things aren't exactly what they seem 'round here."

"That guy is absolutely the weirdest man I have ever met," Sunset frowned.

When she got back to her apartment she was going to get to the bottom of this, run background checks on a Swodahs.