Reality Checked

by Daxisle

Rating: teen
Tags: Second Person
Length: 6891

When a pony decided to break the laws of meta

Shade's consequence.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-08-18 08:32:19 UTC

First Encounter

  Shade stood in the center of a vast and expansive void. All around him, sat nothing but black and dark blue swirls of liquid darkness in any directiong. He wasn't sure how he knew it, but the water like blackness was like the sky, something that looked there, but wasn't.

There was no light source around, but he could see himself perfectly, as if the entire void was bathed in light. Aside from that, there was nothing around. No other sights to behold, no sounds to be heard, nothing to smell, just... nothingness.

   "Hello, Shade."

  He turned around and saw an earth pony standing before him. The pony was impossible to explain... not because his features were undefined or anything like that, but his appearance was just... something Shade couldn't describe, aside from being a pony and having no wings or horn.

"Who are you?" The bat pony asked, his eyes narrowed. Whoever this pony was, Shade felt an inexplicable resentment for him.

  The earth pony smiled. "Let's cut the bull shit, you know exactly who I am."

  "Daxisle." Shade sneered. The earth pony nodded. "What's going on, where am I!?" He shouted, his resentment for the pony growing by the second.

   Daxisle's smile dropped to a sneer that matched Shade's own. "You, my fine friend, have almost made my story a god damned meta fic. So, I pulled you out of it."

"A meta fic?"

  "Yes, a meta fic. Meta fiction."

  "Fiction? What do you mean fiction?" The bat pony growled, not liking where this was going.

  Daxile coughed. "It's quite simple really. You, my fine friend, do not really exist. You're a part of a story I'm writing, that follows Big Macintosh, Spike and Sin. And since I continually said that story was beginning to 'wind down', and your individual story arc had never come to fruition, you've been pushed from the confides of your reality as you've always wanted to be."

  Shade tilted his head, understanding none of what he'd just heard. Story arch? Winding down? What?

   "Let me put it to you this way: What is it you want?"

  It was a simple question, one Shade was hesistant to answer, though. "I want to be free, I want the ultimate freedom."

   Smiling again, Daxile gestured around. "And you're now getting it." He waited, watching Shade for a moment, his smile growing into a smirk. "What's wrong? Don't you like it?"

"NO!" Shade barked, having had enough. Daxisle retracted his hoof and eyed Shade.

  "Then stop asking questions and stick to the narrative."

  Narrative? "So, you are the one making me feel these compulsions!"

Again, Daxisle smirked. "Indeed I am, and you're little stun with the hospital bed showed me that my control over you is being lost. So, I'm left with two options. Either A) I get rid of you here and now to keep this shit from becoming meta and dealing with the bull shit in the comments section, or B) You quit asking questions and just follow the story like I've got it planned."

  Shade's growled for a moment, despising the fact that he couldn't even deny what he was being told. He knew that it was true, that his "Daxisle" was not only the master of his actions, but the master of his entire world! He controlled everything, everything that happened happened because he willed it, but a sudden moment of clarity brought an epiphany.

  "That's why I'm free." Shade smirked, making Daxisle quirk a curious brow. "You don't have a plan for me, that's why I'm here, isn't it?"

   "Hmmm, no. I do not have a plan for you." The earth pony deity admitted, scratching his cheek dismissively. "Honestly, you were only there to serve as both a comic foil, a worshiper of Discord and a deus ex machina solution to brute force. I never much planned ahead for your character."

  That sent Shade's vision red and he lept at the earth pony, who vanished before the stallion made contact.

  "Don't feel bad, though. I didn't have much of a plan for any of them." Daxisle said, now behind Shade. "Sin's ultimate conclusion was the entire premise of the story. I just added Spike and Macintosh in there because I like those characters, the males of the show don't get enough attention in my opinion."

"SHUT UP!" Shade yelled, jumping at the pony and having him disappear yet again.

  "Hey." The deity's voice echoed from above. "At least I kept you in the story. Started an entire plot line with the Federal Senate and Sparhawk that went absolutely no where. Shit, there was even a character dedicated to following Sin, and I'd completely foregone writing her because she was boring as all hell."

  Shade spread his now uninjured wings and shot up, determined to shut the bastard up once and for all. Though, the results of his attack were again the same, and he hit only empty space.

  "Why do you think so little questions are asked?" Daxisle said, now standing back on the ground. "You just so suddenly had a relationship with Zecora with absolutely no build up or explanation to it, yet none of your friends questioned it. She was so receptive of you, despite the fact your bat shit nuts. I know I made you crazy and all, but surely you had to wonder why that would be, right?"

  "SHUT UP!" Another dive bomb, though this one made impact and pain beyond pain shot through Shade's head as he fell to a crumpled heap on the ground, nursing his now bleeding forehead.

  It was like slamming into a concrete statue, Daxisle wouldn't give an inch of lee way for the attack.

  The pony merely shook his head and began circling the fallen pegasus. "You're not the most popular character in my fanfic, but you are one of the four main view points, even if you are the one least looked through." He paused to rub his forehead. "If I were to get rid of you, there might be a viewer or two who'd take exception with it, and I like to keep my fans happy."

  Daxisle raised a hoof and lightly bopped the ground.

  Suddenly, the pain that Shade felt was gone. He touched his head from the point of impact and found that the blood was no longer present, nore the massive gash that it had come from.

  He knew what had happened, Shade was well aware of just how much power the pony before him had. It was almost overwhelming though, he wanted to hurt him, to make him pay for  the life the stallion forced him through. All of his pain, all of his missery and suffering, the box, his insanity, all of it for a bucking plotline!

It was cruel and sadistic, a pain that the bat pony wouldn't inflict on his own worst enemy. Not even the beast.

Though, that did lead to one question, why hadn't he simply influenced the world so Shade would just be seen as "unintentionally correct quirky"? He'd done that so far with his insanity, why not continue?

  "If there was anything I learned from reading DannyJ's Human it's that meta of this like can quickly get out of hand if it isn't taken care of directly." Daxisle, for the first time, approached Shade, his blank white eyes looking directly into the bat pony's yellow orbs. "Your goal is to escape reality and consequences, a freedom I was likely going to give you in death. But you just couldn't wait, could you?"

  Shade smirked. "Guess not."

    "Hmph" Daxisle turned away again and walked a few steps and took a breath. "You've got one of two options, Star Shade. You can either go with the narrative and do as I compel you to do, or you can stay here in the ultimate freedom you that you are capable of having and live out an immortal limbo."

  A cube of ice slowly crept down Shade's spine at the finality of Daxisle's proclamation. Was this really the ultimate freedom the universe could offer him? Just leaving a single story? As much as he wanted to exit reality, this wasn't exactly what he was hoping to find. Still though, the world he'd come from, the "story", was that what he wanted? Was that illusion really better than this reality?

  "This isn't reality, but it's the closest you'll ever come to it." Daxisle chuckled. "Trust me when I say, you're better off back in the story. If you behave, I might even give you your hydra back."

"Fluffy?" Shade asked, his eyes going wide with yearning. He'd almost given up finding his pet hydra again, but could he really go back? Knowing what he knew now?

With a sigh, the bat pony slumped for a moment then looked the earth pony in his white, unyielding eyes. "Doesn't sound like I've got much choice."

Second Encounter

Shade popped into existance in the world, looking around the pony took in the familiar swirling darkness that was this place.

  As the pony expected, an inexplicable earth pony with white glowing eyes stood before him, looking less than amused.

   "What?" Shade asked with a knowing smirk.

   "You defied me again." Daxisle said, his tone low but not very threatening. "Why? What purpose do you think warning Spike and Macintosh of my plans served?"

  "Dramatic build up, of course." Shade pointed out, farther perplexing the deity.

   During his time out and about, Star Shade had more visions of things to come. Of a war, of changelings, of a metropolitan city burning and ransacked with ponies, dogs, minataur and all manner of species looting and pillaging as their home turned to ashes around them. He'd come to accept what he was seeing and what Daxisle had told him. About his life being a "story".

  "Dramatic build up? What concern is that of yours?" The earth pony asked, eyeing his unchained creation skeptically.

  Shade began to fly effortlessly around, almost whimsically he stated: "I've seen what you're doing, what you plan to do, and I thought it would be fun to give a little foreshadowing."

  "Foreshadowing?"

  Shade nodded, completing his lazy circle and beginning another. "Your parts with Malich are the closest thing you have to it, but what's that give Macintosh and Spike to work with? Neither of them know what's going on over there, so how are they supposed to feel about it if they don't know what the future might bring?"

  Daxisle furrowed his brow. "I think I've done well enough in dropping subtle hints on what will soon be happening, thank you."

   Shade chuckled. "Yea, you've done so for yourself, but not for them. Stories are about conveying a point of view through emotional attachment to characters, right? Sure, you may see the connection, but Spike and Macintosh don't, so how are you supposed to empathize with them when you know what's going on and they have no clue?"

  Opening his mouth, Daxisle wanted to respond but couldn't. It was a logical reasoning, what foreshadowing he did do was mainly for the readers to enjoy, not so much the characters themselves to play off of. "Alright, fine, I'll give you that. You still haven't answered why you've done it, though."

  "Didn't I?" Shade asked, now turned over belly up and swimming through the air, confident in his plan.

   "No, what are you planning here?" Daxisle asked, watching the lunar pegasus as he circled around.

   Suddenly, the stallion banked and came to a stop, placing his hooves firmly on the ground and smiling. "Do I look like the kind of pony who has a plan to you?"

   Seeing the deity growing frustrated, Shade's smile turned smug and he slightly taunted his creator with the knowledge that his presence in the story was slowly becoming solid for no other reason than yet another disappearing plotline. "The Federal Senate, Thornberry and Windmane, Sparhawk, I would say Silvia but you managed to work her back in, not that you planned it that way, though. Do you really think it smart to end yet another plot line when you've invested so much in me?"

Daxisle smirked. "You really think me above it?"

   Shade shook his head. "No, no I don't, but I do think you know just how valuable I am to the story."

  Daxisle quirked a brow, giving the pony a look of intrigue.

  "Unlike the rest of them, I'm not bound by the rules of the story. I don't need a reason to do anything, I don't need to be in any particular place to know why something is happening or when it will happen." Shade said coolly, rubbing his hoof against his chest. "I could set up anything I wanted to and nobody could criticize consistency. Because my knowledge of how this story will go is part of my character now."

Shade watched as Daxisle considered the point, one of his major road blocks for the next arc was how he was going to make the dramatic encounters happen between the factions quickly enough to keep them interesting, but also holding a sense of realism that wouldn't over extended the readers suspension of disbelief.

  "Add to that my insanity, and the reason for the things I do also doesn't matter. I'm the wild card, purely chaotic neutral. My loyalties are to my own amusement, evidence by the time I stood idily by as Purple had a go at Candy back when I was looking for the Foal Factory."

   Daxile shook his head. "You know there is no Foal Factory, right?"

   Shade stopped, his face going blank for a second as if trying to process what he'd heard? "I'm sorry, I just blocked out what you said, what?"

  Groaning, the deity earth pony quickly pointed out that Shade's character also held loyalty to Sin, and had done so on multiple occasions throughout the story, if he was to betray Sin, it would be out of character.

  To this Shade merely shrugged. "I've saved Sin's life and the lives of thousands in Canterlot. I think my debt to him is paid. Besides, in that other story, I sat by as-"

  "Oh great, now you're hopping to my other stories too?" Daxisle sighed in exacerbation. "You're becoming the pony version of Deadpool."

  Shade smirked  "Funny enough that you've only heard about him lately because of that-"

  "Yes, yes, everyone already knows about the movie. More to the point, you're strategy has one more flaw in it. The fact that you've formed a friendship with Sin. Yea, you may have started out feeling some form of obligation for him, but you do feel as though he's your friend and someone you care for. To betray him will reflect poorly on you."

   Shade laughed and cackled. "Oh boo hoo, I'll look a little bad for being a liar, what else is new? Besides, I do have some legitimate gripes with him. You know, using me to fight a dragon for starters, lying about Fluffy to manipulate me on multiple occasions?"

   That much was true, Sin's own loyalty to Shade was less than flattering. It wouldn't really be pushing the boundaries for Shade to get a little revenge for all of the times the Federalist had abandoned him and manipulated him. Maybe this little cursed character could prove useful to the plot the deity had in mind.

     "Hmmm, very well my friend, I'll allow it."

   Smirk intensifying, the bat pony nodded in satisfaction before he was popped out of existence.

Third Encounter

Third Encounter

*Pop*

  Shade popped into existance in the familiar swirling black void, immediately falling to his side and clutching his chest, flinching in pain upon contact with the unforgiving ground.

   That bitch! How? How was she that fast!? How did she inflict this much damage on him!? HIM! Fucking Star Shade! The pony who'd acquired the ultimate freedom and knowledge! Slayer of a thousand changelings, the flyer able to go toe to toe with the beast herself! Yet that bitch was able to beat the ever living dog crap out of him like it was nothing!

   There was a small chuckled from within the void before an incomprehensible stallion emerged forth, standing over shade and smiling down at him with wide, white glowing eyes.

  "Do you like her?" Daxisle asked. "Tribunes, designed to be the ultimate killers and consequentialists. All emotion, all concern, all empathy, gone. Beaten out of them by a special mix of psychological and physical torture meant specifically to train the body and the mind to it's fullest violent capability. Left with nothing more than an insatiable desire to fulfill their contract."

  The fallen pony groaned, not yet able to speak properly just yet.

  "Yes, I suspected you'd try to pull something like this, and made her more over powered than I made you. I haven't settled on a name for the Tribune just yet. Trying to decide if I should go for the cooler, but more subtle Federation names, or the over the top Equestrian names. Or maybe I'll just give her a number like I did that other Tribune. I don't know, though what do you think?"

  "Bastard." Shade wheezed through gritted teeth, finishing off with a coughing fit.

  Daxisle chuckled again, looking down at the writhing mass of a stallion before him. "What can I say? I'm getting a little tired of your continued prophetic bull shit. Letting the onlookers know what's going on and giving some foreshadowing is all fine and good, but what you did was a little too much. Ever since you've figured out the truth, you've been acting a little too high and mighty for my liking, it's about time someone knocked you down a couple of pegs."

  Shade struggled to control his breathing. Once he had, he lifted his head and glared up at the deity. "Go buck yourself."

  In a flash, Shade's pain compounded as he was lifted off the ground, suspended in the air by a massive hoof that had somehow bent it's way around his neck, cutting off his breathing and sundering the bat pony's defiance.

  "Don't you dare insult me, you little shit! You may have some consciousness to this world, but I am its fucking GOD!" Daxisle boomed, pointing his words with a light squeeze. "Everything that happens in there is because I will it! I control Sin, I control Macintosh, I control Luna, the Tribune, the guard, the Trotski, I control EVERYTHING!"

  Shade, feeling more than a little cheeky, coughed and smiled down at the deity. "E- Everything but me."

  His antagonist thoroughly miffed now, Shade found himself air born, and cried out as his broken body slammed into the ground. Pain beyond pain coursed through his body, begging the stallion's mind to end his defiance and submit to a being more powerful than him, but the stallion wouldn't give into such friviolous demands of the flesh.

   "Don't remind me." Daxisle spat, the clanking of his hooves echoing over the landscape as he approached. "I told you not to test me, Shade. I warned you that if you didn't do as I compelled, there would be consequences."

  Coughing, Shade regained his barrings and smiled. "Yea, you did, didn't you?"

  Daxisle nodded, stepping to where the bat pony could see him. "And you know what those consequences are."

  "I do, but you wont do it." Shade replied in shakey confidence.

  Daxisle, caught off guard, began to chuckle at the proclamation. "Ehehe. Oh? And what makes you think that, my friend?"

  Pushing himself up, Shade only managed to get himself into a sitting position, endearing another coughing fit before he could speak. "You need me, now. You've set everything up just like I knew you would."

  Daxisle quirked a brow, demanding the pony explain himself.

  "I've been watching it all. You made it so the Nightmare would make finding Sin impossible to Luna, and I know you're going to have Sombra and Soarin lose Sin at some point. I was the one who told-" He stopped for another coughing fit, "Who told those two where they could find him. Indulging your dramatic convenience and saving him from the Trotski. If I'm dead or taken out of the story, you'll have to keep Soarin and Sombra with him at all times. Sin being alone is what they're waiting for, and you need Sin to be alone alot in the future. If he's alone while they're around, it'll create too much conflict between the three for the story to progress as a conventional pace."

  Daxisle eyes widened. "You fucking idiot, don't you get it? I control EVERYTHING! If I want to, I could easily set up circumstances that lead to Sombra and Soarin finding Sin!"

  Shade chuckled dryly, heaving all the while. "Yea, you could. But how much longer do you think your little audience will be able to suspend disbelief?" He grinned a cheshire smile. "You've already bucked up how many times? Sombra's Deus Ex change, Celestia just believing that Sin was killed, Sin and Scootaloo continually avoiding mentioning their mutual acquaintance for nothing more than the drama and its ultimate reveal, Luna having the sense to tell Celestia about the Nightmare in her head, but not tell her about being involved with Triple M. Spike and Sin pretty much having the same problem with inner darkness, yet you hoping the audience wont catch onto it." Shade pointed to his flank. "And thanks for telling nopony my cutie mark, it a pair of batwings, by the way."

  Daxisle's perfect face contorted into a look of hatred and he began to shake with rage.

   "And let's not forget about your little 'unconventional' vs 'conventional' magic bull crap. Sin's immune to magic, but can still use magic himself? Did you think that you were being clever doing that? While on that subject, can you not put so much emphasis on Sin's little emo inner turmoil? We get it already, he's struggling, give it a rest! Oh and nice touch, just making Scootaloo and Krystal still want to follow him after, you know, he admits his entire aim is about killing someone and they're just going to stop him, veeeery believable. And the subtle hints at romance between Sin and Krystal, I mean seriously? You dedicated so much time to Uppity, and now you're going to throw another mare into the mix?"

"I WILL FUCKING END YOU!"

   Shade chuckle coughed at the threat, arrogant in his belief that the deity will do nothing of the sort.

  "Tell me, 'god'. How long do you think all of these glaringly convenient factors will be tolerated by your readers?" Shade breathed, grinning like a madman. "What are you up to now? Two hundred and twenty chapters or so? With that kind of time comes convoluted-ness and inconsistency, and you proclaimed you were going to add in at least another hundred chapters? How do you see this working without me? Especially since we both know how essential I am when you finally do wind it all down."

  Daxisle huffed, but didn't reply.

  "Oh, you could have Rainbow pony replace me, but how dramatic would that be? They know she wouldn't die, you don't have the balls to kill off any of those characters do you? But me? You wouldn't be sad at all to see me go, would you?" The bat pony licked his fang. "After all, everypony loves a an established character's tragedy, don't they?"

  Shade felt himself well up with pride as Daxisle curled back his lip in a sneer. He may not have been able to physically harm the entity, but assaulting an artist through criticism of their work seemed to do damage enough.

   "Alright." Daxisle said, calming himself to stoicism. "You've got me. I have made quite a few mistakes with dramatic convenience and overplaying a few things."

  Shade felt himself well up even more, but gasped as he was lifted off the ground. Daxisle tapped his chest and lowered his hoof to the ground, the action magically healing Shade's broken bones and restoring the bat pony to prime condition.

"And you're right. You're established, and love you or hate you, the readers will understand everything that happens because you are Star Shade, so I guess itt's better I keep you around. Though..." Daxisle smirked. "Consequences will still be had for your insolence."

  Shade burst out into laughter. "Pft, bring it on. Anything you do, you'll have to fix anyway."

  Daxisle's smirk turned wicked, almost manacle. "Tell me Shade, how do you feel about clowns?"

  That wiped Shade's smirk off his face right now. The bat pony's golden eyes widened in terror at the thought. He glanced down at his captor with a pleading and unsure expression.

"Oh that's right, they horrify you, don't they? You know, Shade, you've become pretty tense lately, you need to relax, let loose, have a little fun." Daxisle said pleasantly. "How's about a nice, fun filled day at... I don't know... the Circus!"

  "Y- you wouldn't!" Shade barked desperately. Daxisle's grin, somehow, grew even wider on his face. "No! No, anything but the circus! Not the clowns! ANYTHING BUT THE CLOWNS!"

   Daxisle waved. "Have fun."

*Pop*

Fourth Encounter

This encounter is directly linked to

Earning Freedom Chapter: Requiem For a Dream

Fourth Encounter

Daxisle stared out into the void around him, standing and looking out into the swirling blackness around him, waiting.

  The godly earth pony knew he was coming, and he had every intention to face him when he did. The narrative needed to continue, and Shade was his only means to push it in the direction he wanted it to go, regardless of the the coming anger and cruelty the bat pony had planned.

Daxisle sighed, he knew he deserved every bit of the pony's scorn. After all, it was Daxisle whom had created him, who'd produced the horrible, awful life Shade had been forced to live. In comparison to the months and years he was kept in the box under the command of his superiors, under the works of deity himself, the painful tongue lashings were a minor consolation for him.

  "So, you're here." Star Shade said, gliding down to stand before the deity.

   Daxisle nodded, his glowing white eyes keeping their distant gaze. "I believe you've got a few things to say."

  Shade smirked. "Odd how I've called you here for once." The pegasus remarked. "Guess I'm just becoming more and more powerful, huh?"

  The earth pony deity gritted his teeth. "Speak your peace and be done with it. I've got other things to do."

   Shade chuckled and shook his head. "Oh, I'm sorry. What else did you have to do exactly? I saw that interview you did with TL;DR." He said with a shake of his head. "You're really not very good at articulating yourself in real time, are you?"

  "Are they on their way?" The ambiguously colored earth pony demanded, ignoring the backhanded question.

  Shade nodded. "I delivered the message to where he would be. Found them in Vanhoover on the other side of the country looking for him. I didn't give them too many details on why they should believe me, but they'll come." His grin widened to Cheshire proportions. "You'll see to that, wont you?"

Daxisle nodded his head. "Yes, the narrative still needs to be believable, though. That's why you needed to inform them."

  "Ohh, I don't know about that." Shade mused, putting a hoof to his chin in thought. "I mean, you've already pushed the suspension of disbelief so far already. Why not go the extra mile and just say: 'hey, guess what?! We found you'! Why bother with build up, believable convenience or any of that nonsense now?"

Daxisle shook his head. He'd been toying with suspension of disbelief more than enough already. He'd failed to give proper build up to so many events lately, throwing in last minute "hints" here and there when he'd thought about them, but still forgoing better and more subtle clues that would have really made the story more interesting and enticing.

  "Yea, I guess you are kinda getting ahead of yourself again." Declared the lunar pony, flapping his wings and then beginning to lazily float about the void. "Especially now that you've threatened to kill off a main character and then brought her back to life. Funny how you always hated stories that did that, how you condemned them for not having the strength to hold to the sacrifice and then turn around and do it yourself."

Daxisle took a few deep breaths. "Krystal was never meant to die, not here anyways. I have no plans to kill her, or anybody for that matter."

  "Of course you don't." Shade cooed, circling about the earth pony. "You couldn't kill her any more than you could kill Uppity. Not with what they represent to you."

The stallions smooth flow ceased, caught in Daxisle power. He raised his head casually and looked the deity in the unblinking eyes. "You know what I mean. Uppity, Macintosh, Scootaloo, Spike, Krystal... Sin. They are all what you want them to be, what you wish you could have."

  Daxisle raised his hoof and slammed it on the ground, Shade following the command as he to slightly raised and fell to the floor.

  "You know, the thing is that what you're doing isn't nearly as deep as you think it is." Shade declared whimsically, as if the blow hadn't affected him in the least. "This whole story is just propaganda for the libertarian ideology. Just a lengthy and ill written strawman against all forms of statism and altruism to justify your ideology of libertarian brutalism."

  No it wasn't, if anything, the entire story was a massive critique of brutalism, if not an examination of it. Libertarian brutalism: The idea that freedom should be given for the sake of finding government's force of violence illicit and immoral, that the nuances and goodness that goes along with it were an incidental good, rather than an intentional good to be striven for. As opposed to Libertarian humanitarianism, where it was the good that freedom did was held in higher respects than the immorality of government and legitimized coercive violence.

Was it a massive strawman against the very concept of statism? Yes, that was pretty much how all hypothetical, politically inclined literature worked. Concessions were made, though.

   And it was also a pop-culture/psychological analysis piece on modern male and female behavior, both the reality and the desired. Most Equestrian ponies behaved a certain way, the "ideal" way. Citizens of the Federation were meant as a representation of the realistic, at least as he saw them, behaving in realistic ways. The way of self interest superseding altruism and universal "goodness".

How the introduction of the real to the ideal and the synthesis there in with a, hopefully, entertaining story to go along with it.

"Another thing, you really need to work on your character personality development." Shade said, sitting up. "I mean, we all know that Krystal is just a a remix of Fluttershy. A motherly sort who'd never hurt a fly, submissive, weak, constantly seeking shelter and care from Sin and over Scootaloo. A Heart Trope that's meant to be liked and likeable. The only reason she exists was because you wanted to avoid the backlash of shipping Sin with one of the mane six."

  "And Uppity." Shade continued with a laugh, gritting Daxisle's nerves to the nub. "I mean, what is she besides an obvious mix of Twilight and Fluttershy? A fair bit more capable than Krystal, but not by much. You know? It doesn't surprise me that you'd have Uppity do what she did and pair Sin next with a mare who was too weak to do anything like that. And don't even get me started on Annabelle's personality type and who she's a mix of."

  "Ohohoho, keep going, Shade." Daxisle warned.

  Shade took no notice of the threat.

  "Something else I also find funny, you've condemned the "motherly" female arch-type in this story. Hay, you've devoted an entire chapter to it. And yet how do: not one, not two but all three of your female, love interests, creations act? Motherly."

  Daxisle forced a deep breath and pointed out that no, it wasn't the arch-type he took exception with. It was the response of males to that arch-type. He'd made both Macintosh and Sinbad stand against the milquetoast male, even if Macintosh was one at first.

"Yea, and then you'd made Shining Armor one. Along with all the other males in this story." Shade countered, shaking his head. "But that's how you make your main characters stand out, isn't it? Instead of making them more interesting, you have to make everypony else look weaker by comparison."

    It was hard to keep himself in line hearing all of this, Daxisle knew how much of a hypocrite he was being by writing those characters that way, but... he also had a secret liking for them.

  "You know what? Fine, I'm a hypocrite, whatever."

  Shade frowned and tilted his head. "Aww, well it's no fun if you don't get angry about it."

  "Yea, okay. Was there anything else?" Daxisle asked.

  Shade jumped up and took to he air again. "Yea, were you ever going to address that build up for the social justice thing back in Ponyville? Sin and Scootaloo have been taking up a nice bit of story lately." The pegasus paused and furrowed his brow. "Yea speaking of which, how are you going to make those two tie in again? If I may say, there is alot of ground to cover between a story line about social justice and another about uncertain revenge."

   Now that the bat pony was thinking about it, there was yet another story line that was slowly falling from view. Malich and his bit to do with the changelings.

  Daxisle shook his head with a chuckle, a small bit of reservation leaving his form from the lack of hostility. "I'll let you know when I figure it out."

   "Oh don't act like you've got no plan." Shade called whimsically, flapping his wing to give him some speed. "Finding ways to find and fill in loop holes is what you're good at, or so you like to think. If you were a real pony, I'd wager that would be your cutie mark in some way."

  Daxisle gave that thought a moment and pressed his lips. To be a real pony? That... would be weird.

  "Oh don't act like you've never thought about it." Shade said. "Isn't that what Sin is? Just a self insert who's ponified?"

  Daxisle couldn't help but let a harsh bark of laughter at that. "Alright, you've got me, Shade. I'm a former politician gone rogue, chasing people who tried to kill my best friend. How did you figure me out?" He said sarcastically. "Oh and my dad and brother own a successful, nationally dominating business that acts as a country wide security force and military, yea, like, true story and shit."

  "Not what I mean and you know it~" Shade called in a sing song tone.

  Meh, point still stands.

   "Right, was there anything else?"

  Shade was quiet for a moment, content to just enjoy his circling about the earth pony.

"Hmm, well, I have to ask..."

  Daxisle pressed his lips, this was not his day.

   "Why bring up the big moral conundrum now?" Shade asked, his voice void of any teasing or malice.

  Daxisle quirked a brow and asked for an elaboration. Shade took a moment to organize his thoughts and articulated in the best way he could that: it just seemed a little forced. The story had plenty of room for the actions of the Trotski to be shown. As it stood for the longest time, Luna's allowance of them to continue and perceived inaction against them made absolutely no sense.

  A newspaper or two about the failed attempts at poisoning the cloud water supply that Sin or Spike had come across would have been a nice clue. Sin stumbling upon another failed attempt to sabotage the organization himself after or before Appleloosa would have been another great tidbit, anything to give some kind of indication to Luna's works against them. To show that she actually had sufficient reason not to act, rather than give the perception that she was an incompetent ruler playing favorites.

Nothing like that had ever come up before, and it would have been great ways to hint or point to why Luna hadn't acted. Yet, there was nothing, nothing at all.

  It wouldn't have detracted too much from the story, and would have made a lot of sense to have in. Both Sin and Spike had a thing for knowledge, and newspapers weren't exactly hard to come by. It was a small plot device, but still one that is should have been incorporated because it would have added a lot to the conversation between Sin and Luna.

  "Instead we have a piss poor excuse of why Luna doesn't bring up their actions or explain her motivations at all. Sad thing is that it's probably better that way too, with as convoluted as you've made this whole thing." Shade said. "You've been hammering in the emotional exposition and conflict so hard lately, I'm surprised people haven't said something. We get it! It's a bad situation, everyone's hurt and guilty and doesn't know what to do. Give it a rest! It's bad enough you took all of this time to write up that whole thing, but the fact it's all going to ultimately go no where is the part that really grinds my gears."

  Daxisle gave the pony a flat look and took a minute to prepare a response. "Okay, first off, it is going to go somewhere. Secondly do I look like J.K. Rowling or Jim Butcher to you?"

   "I do not know who they are." Shade replied cheerfully.

  "Yea, well they're successful and well published authors. I'm just some guy on a computer, writing a story. So, you'll have to excuse me if my works aren't the literary equivalent to fucking Michelangelo or Leonardo da Vinci here."

  "Excuses." Shade said dismissively. "Hindsight is a bitch, I guess."

  "I guess." Daxisle agreed. "Now, is there anything else?"

  Shade shook his head. "No, just a little advice going forward, maybe think ahead and try to have a smoother flowing narrative is all."

    Daxisle shook his head. So this is what it was coming to, huh? His own creation developing a metaphysical consciousness and giving him tips on how to write the story he was taking place in. Critiquing the deity's works and testing his creator's patience.

  If only the batpony was absolutely correct in his analysis...