The Chapter In Which Baked Bads Are Dealt With
Lyra just couldn't help it.
Those eyes, the adorable pout on her face, the gut-wrenching tears.
Finally she sighed in defeat, lowering her head she spoke, resignation filling her tone,
"Alright, Alright . . . You can skip this month. Again."
Rarity's face lit up, although she seemed to have expected this exact outcome. She spoke with a voice full of cheer,
"Oh, thank you Lyra! Do you want to come in, perhaps? I have some tea on the pot."
Lyra shook her head, already accepting her fate for failing to collect protection money. Again.
Turning she shouldered her Marecago Typewriter and started trotting away from the Carousel Boutique, heading toward car. It was a beautiful thing, a Studebaker Princess FB. The latest in Gangster Technology. Perfect for drive-by arguments and taunts, it seated four comfortably. Six, uncomfortably.
She ignored the look of pity that was being thrown at her by Rarity as she climbed into the driver's seat. She fumbled for a few moments before twisting the ignition, causing the car to roar to life with a familiar grumble.
It was at this point she noticed that she forgot the box of cupcakes inside. Again.
These weren't regular cupcakes, though. They didn't come out of the Crown Sponsored Happiness Factories that had all but replaced local bakers. No, instead these delicious baked confectioneries spawned from the Underground Cake Lab. It was ran by the mysterious Rock Sisters, Rockie and Reckie, and was basically a public secret.
When Prohibaktion was passed through Parliament, and ratified by Princess Celestia, every bakery, donut shop, and confectionery stand was forced to close. For near a month all ponies were forced to eat nothing but what came out of the Royal Bakeries.
Dark times were all over, in Ponyville especially. The Cake Couple and their family now lived off the kindness of their neighbors and the community, trying to find a way to re-purpose the former Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie Pie disappeared, her friends wouldn't comment as to where. The Apple Farm was on hard times, selling apples for apple pies apparently had made up close to 15% of their yearly income.
Then somepony had a brilliant idea. A pony whose name became nothing but a whispered rumor, now known only as the Godpony. Lyra just so happened to work for the organization that was spawned from that brilliant idea. She only really noticed that bakeries made up over half of her playing venues when they were all closed.
Desperate times called for desperate measures, and when an acquaintance of hers had noticed Lyra making her way to the pawn shop with her prized lyre he had approached. He told her of the Mafia, run by Godpony Octavia, and how they needed people to help run their underground bakery.
Faced with the choice between organized crime and selling her gold-plated lyre, Lyra chose the Mafia.
Her first month was great. The organization was full of friendly ponies, just like her. She had honestly enjoyed running shipments between cities and towns, it held a certain aura of danger and excitement.
Then last week she had been shifted to street duty, Lyra was told it was a mixup in the paperwork and should be rectified by next month. That did little do ease her mind, she was just so bad at being an enforcer. She couldn't stand the look on ponies faces when she had to deny them the delicious baked goodness of the UCL.
To make matters worse, this was the ninth time this week she had forgotten the box of baked goods inside the ponies house when they had refused to pay.
She really didn't want to lose this job, but she wasn't sure she would last the month at this rate.
With a resigned sigh she hooved her mobster hat onto her head, loosening her tie a bit at the same time. After a few minutes of just sitting there, she pressed down on the accelerator and started making her way back to headquarters.
Driving through the streets of Ponyville, one could see the effect that these baked bads had on the community. Ponies heads were lowered, their bellies not as bulging, nopony was jolly anymore.
Passing by Golden Oaks Library, Lyra took a moment to feel especially bad for Twilight Sparkle. The poor mare had firmly opposed the amendment, but the local community still blamed her for the Princess' actions. She practically never left the library anymore, only sending Spike out on errands. Lyra had heard him say that she spend all her time pouring over Equestria's legal code, searching for a way to fight Prohibaktion.
Then Lyra came into view of headquarters. The large manor had once been the home of Mayor Mare, but once it had leaked that she had been one of the swing votes to pass the amendment through Parliament she had been quickly voted out of office and exiled from the town.
Nowadays it had been redecorated and re-purposed in order to serve as the Mafia's main base. It was honestly rather tasteful, and contrary to what some crime novels would say, was very open and bright. It was designed to be spacious on the inside, and feel comfortable.
Pulling into the garage she parked the car neatly next to the other five that were permanently assigned here. All matte black and fresh off the assembly line.
Getting out, Lyra tiredly waved a hoof in greeting to Jack of Diamonds, the resident mechanic, as she trotted inside. Heading in she nodded to a few passing accountants, ponies she used to work with.
Eventually she arrived at the door to her handler's office. She sighed, reaching a hoof up and knocking.
After a few second there came a familiar,
"Enter."
When Lyra stepped into the office and closed the door behind herself, she could immediately see that something was off with her boss.
Her handler was a former delivery boy for Pony-Mart who proved a bit too good at getting money out of ponies. His name was Bugsy, going along with his cutie mark of a cockroach he could survive anything and get anywhere.
Normally the pony had a smile on his face, he enjoyed his work and was a pretty easy-going guy. Now, though, he had a frown. It only seemed to grow when he saw she didn't have the box of goods or a bag of bits.
He sighed, speaking,
"Well Lyra, I tried to keep the boss off of ya. I told her ya had promise. She told me to send you to her office when you got back. I'm sorry kid. Leave your Frienny and hat here."
Lyra didn't have to have an imagination to know how bucked she was. Being called to the Godpony's office was almost never good, but being called after losing your hat? She had heard horror stories.
She briefly considered running, but she had seen this before. On the other side of the door would be waiting a few of the more trusted ponies in this organization.
Lyra sighed, setting her Typewriter on the desk. Her hat was tossed down soon after.
There was silence for a few moment before she turned and headed out the door, turning to head upstairs and to the Godpony's office.
Her hunch was proven correct when she heard 2 sets of hooves following her.
The walk was honestly very short, but Lyra almost wished it was longer. The large mahogany door loomed in front of her face, almost taunting her with its cool exterior and unbreakable facade.
After taking a few seconds to gather herself, she raised a hood and knocked on the door.
From inside came a soft voice, full of confidence in their own power,
"Come inside."
Lyra gulped, and tried gathering herself again, before opening the door and walking inside.
The office was dark, a desk sat in the corner. She didn't have time to take in the room before her gaze became locked on the pony behind it.
A fine suit covered her fur, hair perfectly done. On her desk lounged a gray cat.
Godpony Octavia Philharmonica.
Lyra tried to hold down her shaking as she approached the desk. She vaguely heard the door shut behind her.
When the Godpony spoke, it was in a slow drawl. It was hard, she got the stray thought that she sounded like a whiskey drinker,
"Lyra, I welcomed you into my family. I gave you much, you kept your lifestyle. Yet over the last week I have lost more bits on you than I care to count."
Lyra tried to defend herself,
"B-but Godpony, I tri-"
She was cut off by the raising of a hoof,
"I do not care for your excuses, you must be made an example. An example to not be a fool."
The Godpony looked to the other ponies standing in the room,
"Take care of her, then throw her back in accounting."
Lyra shook in fear as the three mobsters in the room drew their Friennies, aiming them toward her.
When they compressed the triggers, and beams of pink flew at her, she tried to brace. Nothing could prepare her for when they hit though.
She fell to the ground with a shriek, feeling as if every single part of her body was being tickled at once.
Lyra's mind was a haze of uncontrollable laughter, her cheeks and lungs began to ache. She couldn't control her shrieks that slowly became uncomfortable. Soon she was simply tired, so very tired, but there was no stopping this.
It may have been minutes, or it could have been hours, but eventually the sensations stopped. She heard a few ponies speaking through the haze of giggles that settled over her mind.
She felt herself get picked up and dragged for an unknowable amount of time before she was tossed into a room.
The last thing she saw before her vision faded to black was the face of her friend Bon-Bon, a face full of worry.
She had warned her not to get involved with the mob crowd.
Author's Note
This was written for Write Club.
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Until next time.
