I Guardian

I'm not going to lie. I was sore as fuck, and because of that I was not in the best of humor, which naturally meant everyone wanted my personal, and undivided attention. Fluttershy, clearly grateful that I had save them from a fate worse than death, kept rubbing up on my, like a cat that wanted a thorough belly scratching. I made the mistake of pushing her way, causing her to lose balance and topple onto her muzzle. Now she just looks at me with large eyes that spoke of hurt and betrayal. For fucks sake! This is going to get old really fast.

“Hey!” AJ yelled. “Ah' know ya' mighty sore, but ain't any reason to go pushin' ponies around!”

I rolled my eyes. “Applejack. Do me a favor. Shut up. Please? Just shut the fuck up. I've got a raging headache, my body feels like I've been a crash dummy and I have this annoying itch on the inside of the back of my head.”

That raised a whole new wave of complaints, all of which were silenced by the one pony I wasn't expecting to.

“Girls!” Twilight snapped. Instantly they all shut up. “Give Mike a little breathing space. He's been through a lot, and we all owe him our lives.” She looked at me when she said the last part, her eyes clouded with an emotion that I wasn't sure of.

“Thanks Twi.” I sighed. Okay, I can do this. Step one, damage control. “Fluttershy, sorry for shoving you. I'm not in a touchy-feely mood right now. Applejack, I'm sorry I told you to shut up. That was rude. Okay? We good?”

There was a murmur from Flutters and AJ snorted, though looked a little ashamed for some odd reason. Step two.

“Anyone know where my...dad, kept his hardware?” There were looks of confusion. I had fight not to roll my eyes. “His weapons. Maybe armor?”

“I do believe that he kept the key to the armory on a chain around his neck.” Rarity answered thoughtfully.

I paused. Around his neck? No. No, no, no! Shit! “Okay...” I took a deep breath. “I'll be right back.”

It really wasn't that big of a task. Just get the key from around the neck of a dead guy, and we're good. A dead guy...my dead father...I've only been around a dead body once before, and that was at the funeral of my cousin. I don't remember much, other than crying. He just laid there, eyes closed. Nothing like what they portray it on Tv, where people don't care and corpses the common sight. When I looked down at the still form of my cousin all those years ago, I felt more things than my brain could comprehend. Part of it might have been that I was twelve at the time, but since then, I've had a sense of dread being around an unmoving corpse.

Steeling my nerves, I made my way to the death room and entered. I walked up to the foot of his bed. There he was…my dad. He looked exactly the same way my cousin did all those years ago. If it wasn't for the fact that his chest was completely still, I'd have guessed he was sleeping. Emotions, fucking unwanted emotions filled my chest, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do. There the bastard lay, leaving me with all his problems, to pay all his debts and to carry his burdens. Just as he failed me in life, he now failed me in death. What a crock of shit. If all that was true...then why was I crying? Why did I want him to wake up and say, 'just kidding' and everything would be okay? Why did I want him to stand up and be the man I always thought my dad could be, would be, should be?

“You want to talk about it?” Twilight asked, sitting on her haunches next to me.

“Why do you give a shit?” I asked, drying my tears with the back of my hand. “It's not like you care about me.”

“Two reasons why I, as you say, 'give a shit'.” Twilight answered. Her direct quotation of my words seemed strange, coming from her. “One, I have to look out after the herd. They look up to me, and they look to me to find a Guardian who will keep us safe.”

That was a fair enough answer. “And reason two?”

“Because I promised James I'd give you a chance.” I looked to her, but her gaze was trained on my dead dad's face. “I promised that no matter what, I'd trust you until you proved otherwise, and that I'd help you keep this herd together.” She looked away from the dead body, up to me. “Any one of these mares would be a prize to another herd, and with Hunters becoming increasingly aggressive, we need a strong Guardian even more than before, especially if we're going to travel to Canterlot.”

Silence fell over the room as her eyes continued to speak what she could not put into words. Sorrow, fear, hope and there it was again. An understanding about something that I was unaware of. She offered a hoof, as if to ask 'can we work this out?' With a sigh, I knelt down, so I was on her level.

“I can't do this...” I admitted. “I can't just take all this in at face value. I know that you cared for him, but he's just a giant blank to me. I know this world is going down the crapper and you have to deal with it, but I just want to go home. I really don't have much choice, so I'll roll with it, but I'll be searching for a way home. My life was shitty, but it was my own.”

Twilight retracted her hoof for a moment, ears drooping. This was not what she wanted to hear. She thought, looking at the ground, before looking up at me with a nod.

“I understand. I once spent time in the human world, well a different human world than yours, and when I found out that I could be trapped for a long period of time, it was all I could do to stay on the task at hoof. I'll help you find a way home, after you help us find out just what's going on. Deal? She offered her hoof again.

I wasn't sure if I was suppose to shake it, or bump it, so I opted for option three. Standing up, I patted her head. “Deal.”

The little growl she gave me told me she clearly didn't like the pat, which made me laugh. Okay, now to get the dead man's key.

It was hard taking the key. Not that it was hard finding it, but that it felt so wrong, to take something from a dead person. It felt...sacrilegious, and somehow unclean. I forced those thoughts from my mind I yanked the key off the chain around his neck.

“Any idea what this goes to?” I asked Twilight, showing the key.

“I don't know.” She was still peeved at me patting her head. She pointed to a cabinet behind herself, in the corner of the room. “Maybe that?” She added under her breath. “Try opening your eyes.”

“I heard that.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“Fine.”

“Fine.”

“Whatever you say.”

“Right back at you raisin.”

“Raisin?” She blinked. At the insult.

“Yeah. You're purple...and that was it. It just sorta came out.” I shrugged. “I could go with prune, but that would be an insult, to prunes.”

She rolled her eyes. “Are you going to sit here and make fun of me all day or actually do something that matters, like your job, and open the cabinet?”

“Oh?” I folded my arms. Even though I was in a room with a dead body, this bantering was getting interesting. The guns could wait another few minutes. “It's my job now? I thought this was a 'volunteer' position based solely off the kindness of my heart.”

Twilight snorted. “Heart? What heart? All I see is an ass that's so offensive, donkey's would refuse to acknowledge him as a relation.”

Ouch. “...That was good.”

“You think so?”

“...Noooo, but it was better than what I expected out of a raisin.”

After a moment of staring each other down, we just started to laugh.

“Oh Mike,” Twilight giggled. “If you keep this up, I just might get along with you.”

Well, one complement deserves another. “Keep making my life interesting, I might enjoy being around a walking, talking skittle.”

Twilight blinked. “What's a skittle?”

“Never mind.”

Well there wasn't really guns, per say, in the cabinet. There was a long brown trench coat, with way too many pockets, and a belt of with empty pouches and a few universal holsters for different things that I might find. As for actual weaponry, I found an extendable single edged short sword with a battery build into the hilt, so at the flick of a switch electricity would run it's way up the length. I also found gauntlets and steel toed combat boots. Other than some strange head equipment, a piece that reminded me of a power reader from Dragon Ball Z, please, no jokes, there wasn't anything else to take.

It didn't take long to fit everything over my…I let out a groan.

“What is it?” Twilight asked, concerned that something was wrong.

“I didn't realize this,” I signed. “But all I'm wearing are boxers and a tee shirt.”

Twilight cocked her head to the side.”Well, I was going to ask about that before, but with everything that's been going on, I thought it might be best to not say anything.”

For some reason, that explanation seemed pretty thin. “Got any pants I can borrow?”

“Does it look like I wear pants?” She quipped back.

Fair point. I went digging through the cabinet and pulled out a pare of leather pants, and a pull over undyed cotton shirt. I tried not to think of their previous owner as I made sure they fit, and pulled on the coat, putting everything in it's place.

“Well then, how do I look?” I asked, striking a ridiculous pose for the purple unicorn.

“Ehh, you'll do.” Twilight yawned.

As childish as it was, I stuck my tongue out at her, which she did right back. There was something about this unicorn, this pony, that seemed take the pain of all the shit that's happening around me go away.

“Shall we go see the girls?” I asked.

Twilight walked up next to me, smiling. “Sound's like a plan.”