Tessla's Tall Tails

by Dream Caster Tessla

Rating: teen
Tags: Comedy, Random, Slice of Life, Human
Length: 2351

What you didn't see of the story "OC, Oh Crap!" from the perspective of Tessla.

Random bits of life from the perspective of Tessla from "OC, Oh Crap!"

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2015-12-28 20:19:30 UTC

Timberwolf Rodeo and the Lovely Zebra

“Split up,” Austin said. “Tessla and Ben, both of you take a different direction and

defend the ponies as best you can. Applejack and Pinkie Pie can go with Ben and help him. Rarity and

Dash can go with Tessla and help him. Fluttershy, Twilight, keep watch from above and let them know of any dangers ahead of time.”

For a second nopony moved, as well as no human. It took them all that second to process what he had just said. But after that second was up they all flew or ran off to do just as Austin had said. Though why Tessla got paired with the fashionista and the rash-minded weather pony, he'd never understand. Still, it was better then going into the fray alone.

Tessla wasn't much of a fighter, as most of his actions during a fight would come from instinct. He also wasn't an athlete by any means of the word, and his strength and agility were only average for a human. But what he did have was a sharp mind able to sort through chaos, and the courage—or perhaps insanity—to do seemingly-stupid acts that could potentially solve many problems. As he reached what he assumed was the market district of Ponyville, Tessla took in what was going on.

To the left, there was a pack of timber wolves violently sorting through some garbage, and ahead of him was a larger pack of the wooden beasts that noticed the presence of him and the two ponies, and they began a predatory prowl towards them. Before Tessla or Rarity could do anything, Rainbow Dash flew past them and began flying circles around the wolves, taunting them with grade-school level insults and blowing raspberries at them before taking off out of town, the pack angrily chasing after her.

Tessla stood there for a moment with Rarity, both of them with similar looks of disbelief. This lasted for a whole three seconds before Tessla said, “Well.... that just happened.”

“Indeed,” Rarity responded. “Shall I take the left and you the right?”

“Sounds good to me.” With that, they took off in their respective directions.

Tessla had several ideas on how to get the timberwolves out of town, but some were just too complicated to enact. He didn't have a gun or cannon, and he couldn't pull some magical artifact from out of his ass that would give him sudden control over all plant life. He had to use what was available to him, which wasn't much. When he came to this world, all he had was the shirt off his back, so he felt there wasn't any point in retreating to the castle to grab something. That's when he remembered what he was wearing and took off his suit jacket. With what he was planning, he'd need a lone timberwolf, and luckily for him there was one a few yards away, about to attack a couple of fillies, one pink with a tiara on her head, and the other a dark gray one with silver glasses. Tessla recognized the fillies as none other then Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, and he debated on just letting the timberwolf eat them. However, he needed this lone timberwolf for his plan, so he figured he might as well just do what he had in mind. Plus, letting two fillies get eaten wouldn't leave a good impression.

Without the slightest worry of stealth, he sprinted up behind the wolf, and jumped onto the creature's back, putting his jacket into the beast's mouth and pulling back on it, tying it quickly into a set of reigns. The wooden canine started bucking and thrashing about like an angry bronco, but Tessla held fast to the reigns and began forcing the creature to go where he commanded it to. After a while, the timberwolf ran off away from the fillies, and Tessla began steering it back around town. Based on what he saw Dash do, he decided to give it a try here as he raced past timberwolves while riding a thoroughly pissed-off timberwolf.

As he saw the first group coming up, he yelled out, “Hey you ugly pieces of driftwood, I bet your dull teeth couldn't take a bite out of paper, much less my flesh!”

Tessla felt he could've done better, but it still got the wolves' attention, and as he raced by they followed him. Tessla allowed himself a grin, and shouted out more insults to the other wolves he passed.

“Hey uglies! I'd make some toothpicks out of ya, but your wood is probably to weak and puny for that!”

After a while, Tessla looked back to see that he'd gotten the attention of a good chunk of the pack attacking Ponyville, and decided it was time to take them home. Veering back onto the main road, Tessla lead the wolves back into the Everfree, hooting and hollering as the adrenaline started taking affect on his mind. He started to feel some pain in his calves and around his biceps and thighs, but it was merely an annoyance in his excited state of mind. Once he'd gotten a good way into the forest, he pulled his jacket out of his ride's mouth and flung it over a passing branch, lifting him off the wolf as the entire pack ran into the forest.

Tessla smirked and recited a line from one of the Equestrian bestiaries he'd read. “Timberwolves, while bound tight in a pack and great instinctive survivors, are not all that smart and can be tricked rather simply.”

With a chuckle, he dropped himself from the tree, only to land hard and suddenly fall onto his back as the world spun around him. He then felt sharp pains in his left arm and both his legs. Looking down he finally realized that the wolves had gotten some bites and gashes on him, causing him to bleed.

“Shit.” He hissed as he lied back down.

Tessla had never been great at dealing with pain, but he would always try to get up from it, and this would be no exception. But when he tried to force himself to his feet, he could only curse in pain and fall onto his ass. Leaning up against a tree, he tried to figure out a way he could get up and get back to Ponyville. That's when he also realized that he was in the middle of the Everfree Forest with no idea on which way he came in. This left him with one depressing course of action: Sit here and potentially bleed to death. But just as he finished that thought, he heard the bushes around him rustling, followed by the sounds of hooves. When he looked over, he saw what he'd been wanting to see for a while now: Zecora.

The Zebra came closer to the strange new creature she'd found when collecting herbs for her brews. As she got closer, she realized that it was hurt, as evident by the crimson trails and little red pools found around its legs and near its left arm. It didn't seem threatening, and if it was injured and friendly, she would help it.

“What is this I do see? A strange new creature with an injury?” Zecora moved in closer, setting her saddle bags on the ground as she carefully leaned in to try and inspect the damage.

Tessla, having no fear of the zebra, reached down with his good arm and lifted his left pant leg to reveal the bite marks from the sharp fangs of one of the pesky timberwolves. He winced at the sight, trying not to have a panic attack at the sight of himself bleeding so much.

Zecora reached into her bags and pulled out a cloth and a bottle filled with a green liquid as she said. “Here with me I have just the thing, but be warned that this will sting.”

Tessla yelped out as the medicine-soaked cloth touched his wounds. “Sweet fuck that stings!”

After she soaked the first set of wounds and wrapped them up quickly in some bandages, Zecora moved onto Tessla's other leg. “Ah, so you can talk. I also hope that you can walk.”

Tessla let out another yell of pain as his wounds were treated to keep him from bleeding-out. Besides his exclamations of pain, he didn't say anything until after his wounds were patched up for the time-being. He looked at Zecora and nodded saying, “Thank you.”

“It's not a problem strange one, but do not think our business is done.” She began putting her things away quickly, corking the bottle before tucking it where it belonged and turning back to Tessla. “I do not know of you, or where you are from, so please do tell me, from where did you come?”

“Ponyville. Kind of. Long story short, I'm not from this world, fell from the sky, making a crater, was in town being introduced to the ponies by Princess Twilight and the Mayor, and then timberwolves attacked. I had the brilliant idea of riding one and pissing the rest off with insults so they'd follow me back to the forest.”

Zecora raised a brow at the first part of his story, but she couldn't help but chuckle at this strange thing's plan to get the wolves back to the forest. “You are a strange new thing, but at least you didn't do that while you started to sing.” Zecora looked at him and offered a hoof to help him stand. “I hope you have more time to talk, but I must ask will you be able to walk?”

Tessla pushed himself onto his feet, wincing a bit as he took a few steps forward. “Barely,” he said. “I'm still sore, but at least I'm not bleeding anymore.” He blinked and then shook his head. “Oh great, now I'm speaking in rhyme.”

Zecora simply rolled her eyes before speaking. “Oh come now, it can be fun. But we should get you to my hut before the setting of the sun.”

“But what about getting back to Ponyville? My friends are going to worry about me, and I have to make sure no one else got too banged up besides me.”

Even though this new creature was taller then her, when he hunched over a bit Zecora could reach up and put a hoof to its lips. “You need rest, new thing of mine. After tonight you will see all is fine.”

Tessla let out a sigh, knowing it'd be best not to argue with the assumingly-older person... pony.... zebra.... mare. “Alright, I'll follow you. But I'm not a 'thing' or an 'it.' Physically I'm a 'he,' and my name is Tessla.”

Zecora smiled and said, “It's a pleasure to meet you Tessla, now come follow me so my hearth's warmth may caress ya.”

For some reason that line made Tessla blush a bit, but he shook his mind to get it out of the gutter. It was only a few more steps before Zecora heard a loud thud behind her. Turning around, she saw Tessla face-first on the ground, passed out.

Tessla awoke to the sound of a bubbling cauldron, and the smell of something funky. When he opened his eyes, he found himself in a bed made from a carved-out section of the tree hut he was in. He was wrapped up in pale-green bandages with his clothing hanging off the edge of the bed. Tentatively he brought a bandaged arm to his nose and his face scrunched up as he caught the scent of some sort of medication. For Tessla, it didn't matter if the medication was natural or not, he never liked the smell of it, especially since he had a sensitive sense of smell. As he looked over to his left, he found the cauldron making the bubbling sound, along with a black and white flank that belonged to none of then Zecora.

“It's good to know you're finally awake, for a while I thought your soul was death's to take.”

Tessla gave a weak smile and said, “Well it looks like I've got you to thank for that. Otherwise I'd probably be dead for sure.” He then made the mistake of trying to get up, which caused a sharp pain to shoot through his body, and for expletives to come from his mouth. He then fell back into his original position, uttering a few more expletives.

Zecora had poured a ladle's worth of the cauldron's mixture into a bowl and made her way over to her pained-patient, bowl in one hoof. “You should rest and in that bed you should stay. Drink this elixir and I promise you that you will be fine by day.” She then gingerly placed the bowl on Tessla's stomach, which he proceeded to drink, no questions asked.

Upon finishing the remedy, Tessla realized what the zebra had said. “Wait, what time is it anyways? I didn't sleep through the rest of the day did I?”

Zecora shook her head. “You need not worry one bit, you only slept through most of it. To speak true if I were to lead a pack of timberwolves, I would need a long rest afterwards too.” When Tessla tried to get up again, Zecora put a hoof to his chest and shook her head again. “I know you came from Ponyville, and return there you soon will, but for now you need your rest still.”

A moment passed where Tessla just stared at Zecora, and she calmly stared back at him before he sighed in defeat and lied back down. “I guess I don't really have any place to argue. I owe you for this. Thank you, Zecora.” Tessla then closed his eyes, and before Zecora could say another word, Tessla was out like a light.

Zecora chuckled. “Tessla, what a strange creature you are.” She then looked out her window up at the night sky. “But I can tell that your good nature shines like the stars.”