Can't I Pick Which One?

by Kyle_67

Rating: teen
Tags: Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Fluttershy, Random, Sex, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 15162

Rainbow Dash wakes up one morning to warm sheets, the lovely chirping of birds, and sunshine on her scales. She flexes her claws and lets out a yawn that lights up the room. Uh-Oh.

Rainbow Dash wakes up one morning to warm sheets, the lovely chirping of birds, and sunshine on her scales. She flexes her claws and lets out a yawn that lights up the room.

Uh-Oh.

Patreon (NEW): https://www.patreon.com/Kyle_67

Published 2016-09-04 02:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2017-01-11 22:31:54 UTC

Scales, Paws, and Talons

Sunlight filters through the curtain onto my floor as I allow a few more seconds of rest to take over before lifting open my eyelids and looking at my room. Same as ever. I always get a kick out of my life when its normal; it soothes me. No tyrannical beast or cotton candy clouds--it's perfect. I close my eyes again to fall asleep and eventually fall back asleep. \

When I pry my eyes open again, I find much of the same scene. I remain stoic in my position until my brain reminds me of something to do. I then ponder whether to feed myself or Tank first as I rub my eye with my hoof. Ugh, for some reason the area around my eyes feel a bit rough, almost jagged. I figure I should just dismiss it, maybe ask the pharmacist for skin care products. I pull my hoof away only to make a realization.

I have a claw.

"The fuu~" I breathe in a stammer. Even though I've had 22 years of bearing nothing but my four hooves, a claw is now staring me in the face. My brain seems to take forever to process that I don't just have one claw, I have four. All on my new hand, mirrored on the other side of my body.

It isn't even 11:00AM yet!

I need to get help. What the hell am I? On any other day of my life the answer to that question is quite simple: I was a pony. Still am. Right? Because now... what the hell am I? In order to find an answer, I use 'my' claws to pull the sheets off my body in a hurried panic, gasping when I see my lower half. It's scaly, larger, a different color... I'm really getting scared.

I notice I'm breathing quite heavily, which is a justifiable thing to do when you wake up on the wrong side of the animal kingdom. I squirm to move the sheets off of me and instead fall to the ground, not used to my size. It's here that I see my tail: its larger than before and comprised of scales instead of hair. I feel my face drain of blood; growing out of it are five black spikes, sharp as anything.

I whimper slightly, only to feel the strangest thing deep in my throat. It's the worst burp I've ever felt rise, and, when I let the air leave my mouth, I give a cough and see the damnedest thing.

Fire.

It dissapears immediately, but... fire? Did I breathe fire? That's actually pretty sick. I mean, how many ponies get to breathe fire? Even alicorns can't do that, but I just did! I feel a grin creep on my face as the weak fireball dissipates. I get up off the ground and stand for the first time. Wow. I mean, wow!

I'm a dragon!

How cool is that? I look in my mirror and my suspicions are confirmed. All the signs of a dragon are there; reptilian eyes, razor-sharp teeth, scaly skin, awesome claws, and wings. Oh, boy--the wings! I can hardly describe them; they're that amazing. Feathers, say goodbye in the wake of these--these are way cooler! Think half bat, half raptor, half alligator. The last one is only for the texture. I'm pretty sure alligators don't have wings. Probably.

I spin around a few times for fun as I get extremely giddy. My earlier worries of being non-pony are squashed, even if only for the time being. I've wanted to be a dragon longer than I've wanted to be an adult. I look at my teeth and notice how they are rather fit for a predator, not a pony like me. Are dragons carnivores? Should I switch to a griffon diet? Oh, who gives a shit anyways--I'm a dragon!

I don't know why this has happened to me, but I can't care less as I let out another fireball for fun. I accidentally disintegrate a picture frame in the process, but I hardly notice. I then hear a knock at the door, snapping me back back to reality. A devious grin appears on my face as I wonder who I get to surprise. Who comes by at this time, again? The mail was delivered yesterday, my milk's in the fridge, I don't have any guests planned... right? Oh! I remember; I have an animal play date today with...

Fluttershy.

Fluttershy hates dragons. And I'm a dragon.

Uh oh.

A new wave of panic flushes over me as I look in a closet for something to cover my body with. Actually, as long I greet her with just my voice, it's okay, right?

"Rainbow Dash?" I hear her say.

"Uh, one second!" I reply, noticing how my voice is a touch deeper and a bit... I don't know, rougher? It doesn't sound like it should, that's for sure. Hopefully she won't notice!

"Oh my, is there something wrong with your voice?" she asks. Shit. I struggle to think of an excuse as I rummage deeper through my closet.

"Oh, um... yeah," I lamely say, "I have a cold." I try to be convincing and cough a few times, promptly shooting a fireball into my pile of clothes. Well, damn--there goes that idea.

"Oh, dear," Fluttershy says sympathetically. "Let me come in and help--I have some cold medicine in my saddlebag!"

"No! Uh, don't do that!" I back into a corner, not knowing where to go. "I'm getting dressed!"

I hear Fluttershy twisting the padlock with the house code. "We're both girls, Dashie; It doesn't matter."

"Yes it does!" I say back. The lock clicks and Fluttershy walks in.

"Why would it matter? Did you--" She halts her sentence and her forward motion when she sees me.

"R-Rainb-bow D-Dash?"

"Um, hey Flutters!"

She gives a high pitched yell and starts to back up, ramming into a wall. The yellow pegasus yells so loud that my hearing goes numb. My other senses seem to phase away too. Finally, the world goes pitch black.

=-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-=

I open my eyes again and jolt up. I'm back in bed? How? I was just over there! By the closet door! I turn my head to look where I was not 20 seconds ago, but... no, the closet was open, wasn't it? A strange feeling makes itself known in my mouth again, but this time it's not a burning sensation from my throat; I come to realize that I have no teeth. Like, at all. I swing my arm out in front of my face, expecting to be met with a hoof and if not, a claw, but I'm only met with a wing. A particularly small one, at that. Well, I'm pretty sure I lifted my arm up. I peer down to notice that something is odd with my arms.

I don't have any. I flap my wings in a frenzy and land in front of the mirror to see that I've transformed again.

Into a hawk.

This is getting way past freaky; I'm not even something that could be counted as close to my usual pony form! I look at the mirror to see a very confused bird looking back. I slump over as best as a bird can as I take a second to comprehend what's happening.

What is happening, for Celestia's sake? Has one of Twilight's spells gone wrong? That could be it; that happens. A lot. Twilight already turned me and the girls into breezies a while back, so a couple of animal transformations is not a stretch. But then, why was Fluttershy normal? Maybe there's a pattern; that's what Twi always told me to do when I can't think of a solution. Just find patterns and... what was that word she used? She told me to 'synthetisize' the information or something. I don't know how to do that part, but finding patterns shouldn't be too hard for a weather pony such as myself! A few moments pass when some dots connect in my head.

This is a dream, right?

It has to be! The insane scenarios, starting in a bed, it all adds up! Or else I'm stuck in a loop of some sort; Twilight tried to convince me to read a story she wrote a while back on the matter. But that's fiction...

I shake my head and decide that, if I wake up again, I'll know for sure. I've only woken up twice, after all. Dreams don't tend to go that deep; I've got to just reach dream bedrock at some point. Well... that just leaves me, as a bird, in my house, all alone.

As if on cue, I hear a knock at the door. That confirms for me that I am living the same morning that I just did, a pretty weird thought to be honest. With nothing to lose, I go to say 'come in' when a bird's cry escape my lips. Or beak--whatever. While my brain understood the words encased in the cry, there's no way in Tartarus that Fluttershy understood me.

"Rainbow Dash?" Fluttershy's call reaches my ears. Do birds have ears? I suppose I'm hearing things right now, so I must do. She calls again, "Do you have a bird in there?"

"Yes, I do!" I call back, amusing only myself with what I'd said.

Fluttershy is silent for a moment. "I'm coming in," she announces at last.

I stumble my way to the table in front of my door and wait for Fluttershy to see me. Even though she is literally the least intimidating creature in Equestria, being this small in stature makes her weirdly appear more threatening as her body looms over the table.

Fluttershy sees me and smiles kindly. "Hello, birdie," she greets me. "are you Rainbow Dash's?"

Seeing as how I'd be thrown out if I said 'no', I nod, only to critically think if I've ever seen a bird nod and stop immediately when I get a resounding no as my brain's answer. Thinking my cover is blown, I silently scold myself for being so dense. To my surprise, however, she gasps in delight. "Oh my," she says, "what a smart girl!"

"Heh, yeah," I say, more confident now in my ruse. "Tell that to Twilight!" I say to no one in particular. Fluttershy sets down her cage and lifts the lid. A rabbit I'm all too aware is Angel Bunny rolls out, still asleep. Fluttershy looks at me.

"Now you keep him good company, OK, birdie?" I nod again, earning an adorable clap from Fluttershy. I watch her go, probably on the search for pony-me. Yeah, good luck with that, Flutters.

A snore sounds from behind me and I turn to Angel. Oh, shit--he's asleep! Potential for fun engulfs me as I wonder if he can understand me. Animals can talk to each other, right? At least that's what Fluttershy tells me. Oh, the possibilities! Angel is always such a jerk to the citizens of Ponyville, so the chance to talk to him in a dream feels like vigilantism.

"Hey, jackass!" I yell. "Wake up!"

"Hm... Wha?"

The two short half-words out of Angel's mouth makes me as giddy as can be. I'm actually talking to an animal!

I try to maintain my intimidating stance. "Yeah, you; wake up!"

"Who... ugh, who are you?" He says while rubbing his head.

"Oh, you know," I say nonchalantly.

"No, I don't know," he replies. "Is my play date with you?"

"You could say that," I chirp. At least one of us will have fun.

"I've never seen you before," he says. "Are you that fat pony's new pet?"

"Fat?" I echo. Does he mean me?

"Yeah, what's her name again?" He ponders. "Rainbow Flux, or something? Help me out here."

"I am not fat!" I say, forgetting for a moment that I'm trying to get a rise out of him.

He gives me a quizzical look. "I didn't call you fat," he politely informs me, "I called your owner fat."

"She's... buff, that's all!" I say, feeling my authority rip away. How did the balance shift so quickly?

He dismissively lies back down. "Fluttershy's thinner."

I lunge at Angel entirely by instinct and take him by surprise. He struggles as I once again feel my vision fade. Backing off of Angel, I fight to stay awake to no avail. I slip from consciousness once again.

=-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-=

My head bolts up from my pillow again. Greeting my awakening is my room, but at a very large scale. As in, my pillow alone outperforms me in size. Shit, am I a bird again? I lift my arm to be thankfully not greeted by a wing. Before I can feel relieved, my brain registers that not a hoof, claw, nor feather met my eyes, but a paw instead.

Turning to look in my bedside mirror, I see a cat staring back. I'm not gonna lie, the sight of my adorable whiskers, tiny paws, and soft eyes made my heart melt. A purr rises in my throat, not by choice.

"Gah! How do I turn it off?" I meow, creeped out by the rumbling of my vocal cords. Before I can fully process how I had meowed using words, I hear the ring of a doorbell.

I think of what to do next, eventually settling on trying to communicate with Angel again. I'm not the best animal for a round of grilling him, but I just want some immediate payback. I take a few seconds to reassess my walk cycle, then drop off my bed to greet Fluttershy. When I reach my floor, I shriek as the clouds give way to an expanse of blue sky. Shit, cats can't walk on clouds? Why the hell not?

No, wait... actually that makes sense. Cats have no wings, so they can't cloud walk. That's reasonable. Hm. No wings, huh?

I can't fly back up, can I?

I peer down and scream as the ground careens ever closer. I'm normally okay with this; I just flick my wings and fly away! That's not going to work, though--I don't have my damn wings! When did I even have my two most prized possessions last? It would've been this morning, I suppose. Well, today never really started. I just woke up several ti-

This is just a dream! I'll wake up soon enough right? It seemed so real for a while that I nearly forgot this isn't reality, or a damn close imitation of it. I attempt to calm down by remembering that no one ever dies in their dreams. I'll wake up and make the most of the unique gift of immunity I was given today. Just breathe, Dash. There's no place like home, there's no place like home--did it work? I open my eyes and confirm that I am still hurtling through the air. Shiiit...

Moments away from impact, I close my eyes and pray for survival.

=-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-=

I brace for death, but instead feel warmth. I open my eyes to find myself in my bed, wrapped in a comforter. This time, I glance in my mirror and see an owl. That's not the most interesting thing, however. Wherever I am, whatever state of being I am in, I have been shown to invulnerable; even falling to my death just resulted in a new cycle beginning. And I can be a new animal each time!

What other animals will I get to be? Will they be awesome? I could be a bat, even; no, no, a lion! I'm clearly not limited to winged animals. A weird twinge of excitement comes into being. I shouldn't be excited by this--there are too many unknowns. I mean, what if it never ends? Will I ever return to being me? Rainbow Dash?

Still, I have been given a power right out of a comic book. But, with all powers, I have a choice: will I use my powers for good, or become a full time pranker? Well, its not like a cycle will last long enough for me to reap the benefits of being a hero, like fame, adoration, and money, and what if I turn into something useless for heroism, like an ant? On the other hoof, I would get the reaction of ponies I screw with immediately. I mean, I love pranking ponies, and this gift is just ripe for exploitation! I can just imagine the priceless expressions of my countless victims! I'm not limited to resources or time anymore, no no no; I can do anything to anyone as any animal and never live the consequences.

Exhilaration pumps through my veins as I feel myself give in to the urge of villainy.

Oh, this'll be fun.

Author's Note

Here it is, after months of rewrites. I'll probably continue it, so suggest any TFs yall want to see.

I hope you like it, and as always with my writings, suggest changes and find mistakes in the comments.
Farewell, all.

[Edited for 2nd Final Draft 1/16/17]

Questionable Lust

I spot Owlicious on a branch of Twilight's library and soar over, enjoying how fun it is to fly as an actual bird. When I land, he looks my new form up and down.

"Another owl," he muses.

"Who?" I hoot.

Owlicious pauses. "I'm sorry?"

"Who?"

He gives me a blank stare. "Me. I am sorry. The owl in front of you."

"Who?" I ask again.

"You know," he sighs, "owls don't just say 'who', that's what speech sounds like to ponies."

"Who?"

"You're not a changeling, are you?" he queries.

"Who?"

"Changelings," he repeats. "They invaded Canterlot a few years back. Their queen even defeated Princess Celestia."

"Who?"

"How the hell do you not know who Celestia is?" He fumes. "She controls the damn sun! She rules the entire country with Princess Luna!"

"Who?"

"Piss off," he hoots as he flies away.

=-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-=

I hop from my bed into my kitchen immediately after seeing my new form. After a bit of waiting, a knock sounds from outside.

"Hello?" I hear Fluttershy say. After a few heartbeats, the lock clicks and the yellow pegasus comes in to see me. She gasps in delight.

"Hi there little bunny!" She says while looking at me. "I didn't know that Dashie got a new pet. And an adorable one, at that."

I try my best not to feel weird having my adult friend call me adorable as Fluttershy puts Angel's cage on the table and the furry bastard himself tumbles out. Fluttershy turns to look at me.

"Bunny, you keep Angel company while I find your owner, okay?"

"Good luck!" I yell after her. I turn to Angel, only then realizing the brilliance of my plan. The perfect revenge. Sucking up my pride, I waddle to the sleeping rabbit and nudge him awake.

"Hm... Wha?" he mumbles.

I do my best not to crack as I put on my acting face. "Hey there handsome," I say, barely getting through the sentence without gagging. I mean, I do not find animals attractive, but Angel is going to have to believe my facade for this plan to work.

His eyes snap open. "Heeeeyy," he says, surprisingly seductively.

I try to maintain my composure. "What's a sexy fella like you doing at my place?"

"I came here for you, gorgeous," he whispers while grabbing my paw. Simultaneously, I throw up in my mouth a little bit, not to the notice of the swooned idiot in front of me. I can tell that this Angel thinks he would sin today.

"Stand up so I can marvel at your figure," I say, trying to appear naturally affectionate.

He hops up and smugly rubs his chest, clearly confident in his look. After pretending to examine him, I wince and give him a sorry look.

"Too bad," I apologize, "you're way to fat for my taste."

"Fat?" He echoes. His confidence visibly vanishes from his face. "You think I'm... fat?"

"Well, fat is being nice, darling." I say, silently snickering. "I'd say 'whale-like' suits you more, no?"

"P-Please," he whimpers, "you're the first female rabbit I've seen in a long time. Just give me a chance, please!"

I pad away in victory. "Sorry, dude." I hear silence from behind me. "But, plenty of fish, right?"

Suddenly, I'm grabbed by two paws and lifted off of my feet. I look up to see a smiling Angel with loving eyes.

"You didn't think I'd let you get away that easily, did you?" He leans in for a kiss and I am powerless to stop it. Fuck, why won't my body move away?! Wait, am I... blushing?

He gets ever closer to first contact as I find myself staring blankly at his kind eyes. No, dammit! Why am I focusing on his eyes, his chiseled face, and his gorgeous whiskers? Wait... shit! I'm attracted to ponies, not rabbits!

He connects with his lips as I'm blown away by the pleasure I feel. I close my eyes and give in, powerless to stop my rabbit body from feeling the exhilaration I do. I grab his neck with my paws and taste the delicious flavor of his lips. He pulls away and looks at me with those damn eyes that got me here in the first place.

"Aren't you glad you gave me second chance?" He whispers. I nod and, without knowing I'd do it, lean in for a second kiss. Instantly I'm rewarded by the same euphoric feeling. Taken by surprise, he nonetheless accepts my offer to kiss and falls on me as I'm caught in a whirlwind of pleasure.

Some revenge this turned out to be.

Suddenly, I realize that pulling pranks doesn't have to be the only thing I do with my gift. But, no! I'm a pony! Not an animal! But then, am I even a pony anymore?

My senses fade away, leaving behind a rabbit that I have much different feelings for now.

For better or for worse.

=-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-=

Finally! My destination comes into view. After an adventure in the sewers and a particularly helpful stray cat, I arrive where my mission will begin: Sugarcube Corner. As my reptilian eyes focus on the 'Open' sign on the front door, I plan my entry. I have to be very careful, making sure not to be spotted by anyone. The front door is too obvious... I should probably go through the vents, but I'm sure I can manage my way up the gutter, as well. Anything not to be seen by--

"Hello little Ms. Alligator!"

Pinkie Pie! My fears are confirmed as the pink mare squats down to look at me. Dammit, I didn't want to have to deal with her. I see the way she obsesses over Gummy, I don't want to be treated the same.

"Back off, Pinkie," I growl. "I have teeth, you know!"

Pinkie Pie just giggles. Oh great. Here comes her trademarked Pinkie babble. "You must be new in Ponyville! I haven't seen you before! I know everypony, but every animal too. There are 245 birds, 120 squirrels, and 37 snakes in Ponyville, but only 5 alligators! They're Louis, Vector, Allie, Bratty, and Gummy!" She pauses to gasp in revelation. "Hey, you should meet Gummy! You two would have so much fun together!"

I ponder this for a second. I was going to scare anyone inside the dining area, but meeting Gummy could be cool too. Pinkie Pie somehow takes my thoughtful silence as an answer and ecstatically lifts me away to Sugarcube corner. Through the front door and up the stairs puts us in front of the door to Pinkie's room, hilariously adorned with stickers, glitter, and a large sign where Pinkie scribed "STAY OUT" in pink crayon.

She sets me down inside where I see a dozing Gummy across the room. "Okay you two, play nice!" She says, unknowingly speaking to her 22 year old friend, before leaving us alone. I waddle over to Gummy and see that while he is sleeping, his eyes are open and is standing on all four feet, not moving. I wave a foot in front of his face and he barely stirs. Weird.

"Hello!" I exclaim, getting a few blinks from him. Finally he snaps awake and looks at me.

"Hello, dear. What's troubling you today?" He asks. I blink in confusion. Okay, first, that is not how he sounded in my mind. The voice that he has is so proper, I could swear I'm talking to a 40 year old college professor. Second, what's troubling me?

"Nothing," I say slowly, "why would there be?" Is Gummy a damn psychologist or something?

"I can tell there's something wrong," he tells me. "How's your relationship with your parents?"

I stand still for a beat before sighing. "Well..." I begin.

-----------oOo-----------

"They just wanted me out of the house then and there," I say, eyes watering.

"I think you need to go back to them and tell them what you've told me," Gummy advises. I snivel and nod. I get up from lying down and give him an alligator hug.

"I will. Thank you Gummy." I say affectionately.

He gives me a pleased look. "Anything to help my fellow reptiles." I release him and wipe my eyes. He gives me a slip of paper. "That'll be 89 bits."

"...What?"

Author's Note

Give any suggestions for future TFs in the comments along with corrections.

The Changeling Saga Pt. 1

My eyes snap open again. I'm greeted by the same room, the same ceiling, and the same comforter. What's new, however, is my size. I can instantly tell that I am roughly the same size as pony-me. It's been a while since that happened, so I rise to to the floor and look in the mirror hoping to see a griffon or something awesome like that.

I'm not prepared for what I see.

Standing on four black, porous hooves is an insect-eyed, fanged, winged enemy of Equestria staring back at me.

I instantly deny the possibility that random chance put me in the hooves of the creature I hate the most. There's got to be another explanation. What if the mirror is wrong? What if this is a very, very, very complex prank? This cannot be real.

"H-Hello..." I mouth. Sure enough, the reflection mouths the same thing back. There's no doubt in my mind now.

I am a changeling.

I take a few deep breaths and look at the aspects of this. For starters, I was not previously aware that I can become something as sentient as a changeling. It's kind of cool, I guess; I'm not limited to wild animals. I can even hope to one day become my old self again. I'd love that, it's been a while since I've seen my old self in the mirror.

With that thought, I feel a warm light envelop me and, after a green ring of light around me fades, I look in the mirror to see me. Not just me, ponyme. As in, Rainbow Dash.

"What the hell..." I whisper slowly. Then, as strong as a brick, it hits me:

Changelings can become other ponies, and I'm a changeling.

I do a double take, bouncing up and down. I can become anypony? A smile creeps across my face. I need to do it again! Shit, how did I trigger it before? I thought about being pony-me, right? To test if my suspicions are correct, I try to think of somepony to be.

The door bell sounds from the other room, reminding me about who's outside. Yeah, sure why not. I focus my mind. Okay, pink mane, yellow fur, blue eyes...

Green light surrounds me and, when it fades, I find myself looking at a very surprised Fluttershy in the mirror. I mean, its cool enough that I am physically, in every way, one of my friends, but what's cooler is the infinite stream of possibilities that pop into my mind. Giddy as can be, I almost forget the usual progression of today, in that there is still a very patient friend of mine about to come in. I quickly shift back to being me, but not before making Fluttershy's face make several ridiculous faces in the mirror.

I prance to the door and let Fluttershy in. "Hello, Dashie!" she greets me.

"Hey Flutters," I say, instantly taken aback by how long its been since I've heard my pony voice. Fluttershy takes notice of my sudden shock and she tilts her head in worry.

"What's wrong?" she asks.

I shake my head. "Nothing, It's just weird to hear my voice."

Fluttershy's eyebrows rise and I realize how strange that must've sounded. I give a nervous chuckle.

"So, pets, right?"

-----------oOo-----------

All throughout Tank's play date I only have one thing on my mind: figuring out how to stay in this form. Even if I'm careful, I can usually only stay as a certain animal for a few hours tops; I still don't know what triggers the end of my brief existence. I need to learn how to stay as a changeling for longer, or at least ensure I'll be one when I wake up. Talking to Twilight might glean some results, but I have to be careful. I can't just tell her straight out the predicament that I'm in, there's no way she'd believe me. There'd have to be a logical reason to ask, coming from a pony that would actually ask about all that magic stuff.

And I think I know just the pony that can ask.

After I say goodbye to Fluttershy I fly down to Twilight's library and stand behind the building. I focus my mind and imagine myself as the only pony that Twilight would trust with weird magic information: her new student.

One swirl of green fire and a horn on my forehead later, I trot to Twilight's front door and knock politely. After waiting a bit, the knob turns and Twilight greets me.

"Starlight Glimmer!" she beams, looking at my new form. "What a nice surprise! Why are you back from the Crystal Empire already?"

Shit, she's out of town? Why didn't I know? I struggle to think of an excuse, only confusing Twilight with my silence.

"Oh, um," I begin, "they didn't need my help anymore." Its the most blanket excuse I can think of.

She furrows her brow. "Who's 'they'? Do you mean Cadence and Shining Armor?"

"Uh, yeah!" I affirm. "Those two. Anyways, I came to ask you for help with... a story I'm writing." I give an admittedly unconvincing smile, but Twilight looks content with my explanation.

"You're a writer now?" She asks, pleasantly surprised. "That's great! I would love to give you some tips!" She gestures me inside. "Please, please, come in!"

I step inside and sit on a chair as Twilight takes a seat adjacent. "So," she quipped, "what do you want help with?"

I clear my throat. "Okay, um, so the story is where a pony starts waking up as different animals."

"Oh, like Metamorphosis by Prance Calfka?" Twilight puts in. I've never read the book, to be honest, so I can't quite answer. I nod hesitantly as she claps. "I love that book! Sorry, go on."

"So, I want more, um," I stutter as I try to sound as smart and competent as Starlight usually is. Maybe I can just throw in some writing buzz words? "I want a, uh... more fluent story, and to construct the plot as such, I'd like a factually correct story element to allow a logical explanation for the protagonist being able to control her form at will."

"Ohh, I see." Twilight says. "If you need something based on truth, you can always do what Starswirl theorized in that research paper I had you read. You know, 'Effects of a Pony's Magic Field on Molecular Structure through Subconscious Thought'?"

While the title piques my interest, I definitely haven't read any research paper. "Oh, yeah, I remember that paper," I fib. "Gosh, what a read! Remind me of that exact theory again?"

She nods and sips her tea. "He said that a pony mentally imagining their self as a different form may, under loss of consciousness and specific requirements being met, manipulate the magic field around them to try to change the pony's form into what the last thought of the pony told the magic field it was in order to 'correct' the pony into what they're 'supposed to be' when they regain consciousness."

"And what are those requirements?" I ask.

Twilight blinks. "You really don't remember?" I shake my head. She sighs. "I thought the 5 hours we spent on it would be enough."

Wow, poor Starlight.

"Anyways, according to Starswirl's research," Twilight continues, "a pony has to have a strong magical presence in the area they are in, experience with changing forms in the past, and a mind empty enough to allow significant changes to."

I ponder this for a second. I guess I do have a strong magical presence in Ponyville, being an element of harmony and all, and Twilight has changed me and my friends into breezies before. The third point is just, well... kind of insulting. I feel like Starswirl the Bearded just roasted me from a thousand years ago. So I guess I meet all three requirements...

"So all that I-" I quickly stop myself. "So all that my story's protagonist has to do is imagine what animal they want to be before they lose consciousness?"

Twilight shrugs. "You're the one writing the story, right?"

My hearing cuts out as I sense my feeling slip from my body. Dammit, I have more questions! Wait, I think I can just come back when I wake up, right? I quickly imagine a changeling in my mind. Clearing my mind of all other thought besides those of changelings, I pray that Starswirl was right.

Then, I'm swathed by warm sheets and my head bolts up. So far, the room looks like the right scale for me to be a changeling. But what if it didn't work? I nervously glance at my bedside mirror to see...

Holy shit. It's a changeling staring back.

I yell and throw my hooves up in delight. This changes everything! I can become anything now! Before, I guess it was random. But now, I can be any animal!

But the best part? I found out how to stay a changeling for the time being. Meaning, I can become any pony as well! I imagine I'll get bored of being other ponies at some point and return to being animals, but I have no shortage of ideas. The next few chapters of my life will be fun, I can tell.

But who will be my first victim?

Ding-dong

Oh, she'll do.

Author's Note

I deny the fact that Twilight ever lost her library. Huh? What ~~toy placement~~ castle? I don't see a ~~toy placement~~ castle here.

By 'saga' I really only mean this chapter and the next will be changeling-centric. I'll stick to animals in the future, and now that RD can choose any animal, I can craft more deliberate plots. So, as always, suggest future transformations.

The Changeling Saga Pt. 2

Author's Note

Did you know befuddledly isn't a word? Neither is terroristic, as I found out.

Anyways, I'm tired after both 2 hours of writing and 4 days of waiting on Equestria Daily for a response to my submission, so this will have some errors, I'm sure. But this is the return to standard loop form.

Oh, and there's like one or two cuss words in here.

The Changeling Saga Pt. 2

I open the door to see Fluttershy, who is taken aback at the pony greeting her.

"Twilight?" She gapes at my form. "Why are you here?"

"Oh, you know," I say in Twilight's classic inflection while trying not to laugh at Fluttershy's confused face, "me and Rainbow Dash had a little play-date of our own, if you get my drift." I end with winking at the shocked pegasus in front of me.

She shakes her head. "Wow, I... I didn't know you two were an item," she replies, clearly trying to be positive about the blizzard of information she was just hit with. "I'm really happy f-"

"Oh, we're not together," I counter, cutting her short. "We're still friends. Just with benefits." I accidentally let out a snicker, but Fluttershy is too stunned at my last quip to notice. Stoic in her frozen stance, Fluttershy stammers while I turn my head to get out a giggle. Then, to my surprise, I hear a POOMPH and swivel my head back. Fluttershy eyes go wide when she realizes I've noticed her, erm... excitement.

Now, Fluttershy is not a fast flyer. She refuses to race or compete in any speed based event, even when I promise to go easy. But damn, that pegasus flies away faster than a peregrine falcon after her wing kerfuffle. I wish I could accelerate that fast. After the initial shock, my only reaction is to laugh wildly before eventually ceasing in my hysterics to think about how Fluttershy, upon hearing of a potential non-committal, sensual relationship between her two friends, is somehow... not disgusted. Does she really find filly fooling appealing?

Maybe I'm just making assumptions. After all, I know her really well, and she is not romantic about anypony, mare or stallion. I've always been curious why she doesn't pursue love; she would make anypony happy. I mean, she's kind, but assertive, she loves all things alive, she has a motherly instinct, a good heart, a great figure, a beautiful--

I shake my head. I still have business with Twilight. As long as I learn how to better control my form, I'll be happy.

-----------oOo-----------

I am not happy right now.

After having the same conversation with Twilight when I greet her as Starlight, minus the gaps in information, a certain fact comes to my attention. While it's true I can choose what I become when I wake up, it only works for pony-like creatures, like dragons, griffons, and, of course, changelings, it turns out. I guess the magic field can't make big changes, like massive size difference. But then, how come I became animals like a rabbit before? How would I have transformed if the damn magic field can't do drastic changes?

It's shit. It's all shit. Starswirl's theory is clearly not what's happening, but then what the hell is? Why does the rule set of my situation allow me to pick my form, but only equines, as Starswirl outlined in his report? And, most importantly--

Wait, why is Twilight leaving?

"Where are you going?" I ask the departing alicorn.

"I have to leave for a check-up at the Ponyville Medical Center," she replies. "This visit is running a little long."

I nod, then pause. "Wait, so you leave your house today at--" I glance at the clock "--10:43 AM?"

She looks at me questioningly. "Yes, I am leaving my house now, at 9:43 AM." She says back. Huh. Well isn't that a useful bit of intel? Twilight stares at me. "Why did you need to clarify that, and how did you read a digital clock wrong?"

I open my mouth to answer but am cut off by the door opening.

I hear a timid voice say,"I wanted to continue our, um, conversation from earlier."

Oh shit.

I clear my throat awkwardly. "I'll just be leaving, then."

=-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-=

Okay, 9:43, here we go.

Now, stake outs are a trope across many types of media, often done at night and are very hidden in nature. Therefore, is me peering at Twilight's library in mid-morning on a cloud 15 feet off the ground still considered a stake out? I'd like to end today by having accomplished one, but I'm unsure if this is cheating. Oh well, I'll be the one telling the story, anyways.

Twilight's door opens and the alicorn waves goodbye to Spike. After she turns a corner and is out of sight, I fly down and change from my usual self to the Princess of Friendship. I inhale sharply.

It's go time.

"Spike?" I yell from outside the library's entrance. "Spike, open the door right now!"

I hear a shuffle from inside. "Um, hey Twilight," the little dragon says in surprise. "Didn't you leave for an appointment?"

I gasp in pretend shock. "How dare you not refer to me as 'master'?" I lean forward and stare at him intensely. "You must always call me 'master', young man!" Spike huffs in defiance.

"Haha, Twilight, give it up. Do you really want to be late for the doctor's in turn for a dumb prank?" he counters.

I raise my eyebrow at him and calmly trot inside and find a copy of some comic laying on a table. Spike gasps as I hold the comic book over a candle. "You will call me 'master', understand?" I ask for the final time.

He gulps. "Yes... master."

-----------oOo-----------

"Oh, Spike!" I holler after finishing my sandwich,

"I'm right here, you don't have to yell," he says from his post beside me.

"I fancy a cold drink, could you fetch me a glass of water?"

Spike grunts as he walks away. "Fine, master."

As he ducks into the kitchen, I partake in a quick giggle fit. Spike is an awesome little dragon, but I think all of my friends would love to have him as a servant for a day; it can't just be me.

Shit, what's that noise? It sounds like... hoofsteps. Wait, uh-oh.

They're coming from outside the front door.

I quickly change into myself, Rainbow Dash, and soar across the room into a beanbag as, sure enough, the lock clicks and Twilight walks in to see the area I made for myself--well, technically her. It's a lawn chair with a stool beside it.

"Rainbow Dash," Twilight calls out upon coming inside, "what are you doing here?"

"Oh, I... uh, I helped Spike set up this gift for you." I nervously reply. "He wanted to start being your servant and calling you master." I gesture to the seating arrangement. "That's my, er, your throne," I inform her, aware of my slip-up.

Twilight pads silently over to the 'throne' and sits down. I tilt my head when she doesn't question anything further. In fact, the news somehow pleases her. Spike enters the room and notices me in the corner sat in a beanbag.

"Rainbow Dash?" he says, cup of water in hand. "Why are you here?"

"Quiet, servant," Twilight says. I prick my ears up. Did she just fucking call Spike his servant? "Bring that water here, now!" she barks.

Spike waits a heartbeat before sighing. "Yes, master."

Twilight's eyes glow. I can't tell whether or not she thought that command would work, but she sure as hell is pleased at its result. The alicorn uses her magic to take a sip before nodding towards a plant in the corner.

"Spike, get me a fern leaf from that plant," she orders. Where is she going with this. When the baby dragon comes back, leaf in hand, she commands, "Fan me."

What?!

Even I didn't go that far. I get up and leave, offering a quick 'goodbye' before fleeing the scene. Does everypony have a damn skeleton in their closet? First Fluttershy and now Twilight!

How damn unstable can a group of friends be?

=-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-==-=

Let me explain myself. I'm a mare. Okay, that much doesn't need explaining, but when given the ability to turn into anypony at will, I always stuck to female transformation. Not by accident, either. But the differences between stallions and mares seem to slip my mind when, after arriving in Canterlot to try and have some fun there, I decide on the idea to infiltrate a federal meeting and disrupt the government and pick Shining Armor as the pony to be when I do so, since he's the head of the military; that has some potential.

But now that I'm looking in the mirror, I only have one thing to say.

Cadence is a lucky woman.

I mean fuck, I am handsome from head to head. I still have the mind of a mare, thank Celestia, so dammit if I don't want the reflection I see to be mine. That's awful phrasing; I don't want to be a stallion. I just want him to be mine! Even though he's married with a kid... I'm gonna stop myself there.

But I'm getting off topic. After changing into a clerk at the hotel he's staying at and informing him that his wife called to tell him she's getting remarried, a lie that should distract him for a good 30 minutes, I take his place and trot up to the royal conference room. as I'm going to dub it, for a meeting on military activity when the two guards salute me. What is it that all the ponies say in movies? 'Ease up' or something?

"Ease up, men," I say, feeling like an alien when my masculine voice comes out. The two soldiers exchange confused looks.

"Do you mean 'at ease', sir?" the first guard asks. Dammit, I was close.

"Yeah, sorry," I apologize as I think of an excuse, finally settling on, "It was a long night of travelling."

The second guard nods. "Its okay by us, captain. Pass on through."

I enter the conference room to see a bunch of important looking ponies that I don't recognize. Ooh, actually, I think I spot General Wheyfeather, an important military commander I remember seeing on the back of a cereal box in my youth.

I take a seat at my name card and the organizer thanks us for coming. "Before we start with our agreed topics for discussion," she begins, "does anyone have any pressing issues they need to be urgently addressed?"

I stand up. "I believe I do," I call out. "It is my opinion that we should attack the Crystal Empire," I say, just talking for the sake of getting some reactions.

A wave of piercing silence falls over the room. "I'm sorry, but isn't the Crystal Empire part of Equestria, as well?" one pony asks.

I'm not sure what my plan is at this point. "Yeah," I reason, "but we could make it look like another country did it." I bang my hoof on the table. "Think about it, it's the perfect excuse to wage war on a neighboring country and take over!"

"What would the attack be on?" General Wheyfeather asks. I blink. Has no one shut my bullshit down yet?

"The Crystal Castle," I explain, mostly just continuing from being too deep to quit. "We can plant explosives at the bottom and blame it on another country, like Saddle Arabia," I say, mostly pulling the impromptu details out of nowhere. I'm curious, how far can I get with enacting war on another country?

"I say we do it," a new voice speaks up. I turn to see, of all ponies, Spitfire. I forgot the Wonderbolts were Equestria's air force. I stare at her for a moment in awe. Why the hell would she agree to this?

"All in favor say 'aye'," the organizer says in a surprisingly drab voice.

About every member says 'aye', as the organizer calmly states, "motion passed."

I freeze. Did I just get the military to agree to an inside job of terrorism in less than a minute of convincing?

What the fuck is wrong with everypony today?

Canine Commitment

I'm done with the changeling stuff for a while. It's not that I was getting bored or I felt bad pretending to be other ponies, it's just that... well, I'm sick of finding out how whack everypony around me is, and even those in a position of power! Whether it be Fluttershy's interest in filly fooling or Canterlot's questionable military, I had had enough.

That's why, to my pleasure, I went back to becoming animals. Now, one thing I enjoy about this otherwise horrifying experience I'm in is that I'm never going to be an animal again, let alone some crazy cool ones like a changeling or even just a falcon. If I'm forced into transforming into animals, I'm going to take full advantage over whatever form I get. And that's easy most of the time--I was an alligator, so my intention was to scare ponies. I was a changeling, so my intention was to, well, change.

But what happens when I am stuck with literally the most boring form imaginable? An animal that causes my prior infinite flow of ideas to dry up? What happens when I become...

A dog?

Nothing! Fucking nothing happens, that's what! What am I gonna do, go into town and be pet? Go play fetch with a pony? Piss off, there's nothing to do. I've never been a dog pony, anyways. How could I have been? I lived in Cloudsdale; nopony could really get any other pets than a selection of birds or an ant farm.

Besides, dogs are a hassle! They shit inside and need constant walks, unlike other pets that take care of both themselves and their business without an incessant need to be watched over. I don't know how AJ puts up with it! I should just ask her dog about the hell it must put Applejack through.

Actually, that could be fun; just going to see AJ's dog? Winona? That doesn't sound that bad. I already met Gummy, and he was a joy to talk to! I decide on travelling to Sweet Apple Acres as I leave the park I was laying in.

Truth be told, I don't know what kind of dog I am. I understand that I don't know all the breeds, but I just look like a mutt; an undefined mix of dogs. My fur is a tawny orange with black tipped ears, so I guess there's some German Shepherd in me? The universe couldn't just make me a normal dog, could it? Instead I'm a mix.

I reach the gate of Sweet Apple Acres after a brisk walk and pant heavily, simultaneously wondering why ponies don't pant. It's cooling off pretty well! I step inside and see a few things. First, there's Applejack, bucking apple trees a hoofball field's length away. Helping her is Big Mac, blonde hair damp with sweat. I don't see Winona anywhere, though I spot her dog house near the barn. Actually, what's my excuse to see her? Do dogs ever visit each other like ponies do. Maybe I can play myself as a lost dog, though I don't look as disheveled as a missing pet. Maybe I could just-

"Hey there!"

"Gah!" I back up in shock at the sound of a voice and I fall over with a THUMP! I look up to see Winona with a very happy expression and a wagging tail working overtime. I pick myself off the ground and look at her. "Uh, 'sup?" I weekly greet.

"Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres!" She yells, both very excitedly and considerably louder than she should being so close to my ears. She playfully crouches down. "My name's Winona, what's yours?"

Okay, name time. Well, I can't use my real name. Should I just make some name up? "I'm, uh, Cocoa," I reply at last, settling on the name for both my color and how dog-like it sounds.

"Cocoa!" she barks happily. "What can I do ya' for?"

"I came for you," I reply honestly, then mentally kick myself for the worst phrasing possible. I mean, I did come to see her, but dammit if I didn't put it in the wrongest way imaginable. Give me a trophy, I insist. Ladies and gentlecolts, I present the recipient of the 'Weirdest Answer to a Question Ever' award: Rainbow Dash as 'Cocoa' the dog.

Winona blinks and her tail halts waggling. Great, now she's freaked out. I can't really blame her. I mean, if a random pony came to my house and told me that he--

Wait, what's with that look on her face? It's a mix of confidence, interest, and... lust.

Oh shit, not again.

"Um," I back away, "I didn't mean--"

She puts a paw to my muzzle. "It's okay, sweetheart," she whispers. "Us girls have crazy urges at this time of year." She ducks her head. "I myself ain't had any relief in a while."

Okay, I need to get the fuck out of dodge. A mammal in heat is the strongest force in Equestria. My first thought is to run, but Winona acts quicker than my instincts and pins me to the ground. Without hesitation, she reels in for a kiss. Our muzzles meet, giving me a quick feeling of her soft whiskers on my fur. I struggle with all the strength I have, but Winona only becomes more and more passionate with each passing second, locking me in place. She pulls back and bites my ear, whispering into it, "just give in, sweetheart."

"No!" I furiously yell, fully comprehending how wrong this is for my friend's dog to tackle me for sex. How the hell is this is this possible, anyways? I'm like 10 pounds heavier than my assailant and I still can't fight her off. All I need is an opening; a chance to catch her off guard. Winona least some in for a second kiss and, without skipping a beat, I kick her in the stomach with my hind legs.

"Augh!" Winona yelps, tumbling backwards. She gets back up, bleeding. "You bitch! What was that for?"

"Just stay the hell away from me!" I shoot back, glaring at the dog who would've fully banged me had I not gotten her off of me. To my surprise, she spits to the side and smirks.

"So you're gonna play tough, are ya'?" She barks. I turn heel and run away as I hear my pursuer give chase. On my tail, Winona growls. "Ya'll better let me relieve myself!" What the fuck is wrong with Applejack's dog?!

Suddenly, only forty seconds into my chase, two shadows fly by as I look up to see two pegasi in blue garb. They land in front of me as I geind to a halt. A force tackles me from behind as I realize that Winona never slowed down. As soon as she eagerly tackles me, she's ripped away by the two pegasi.

"Easy, girl," the stallion says. Winona curses at them as I'm glad to be free of the sex-craved dog I now know is Winona's true nature. My illusion of safety vanishes as I'm grabbed by the scruff.

"What the hell?" I bark as my paws become alight from the ground. I peer at the one who picked me up to see the other half of the blue clothed duo. The stallion with Winona looks the angry pooch over.

"This one's got a collar, Maylene," he reports to the mare holding me. "Does that one have anything?"

Maylene shakes her head. "No, she's a stray, Ken," she says back. Ken sets Winona down as she flees to the farm, tail between legs. Ha! What a wimp. The stallion walks over to me and pets the top of my head with his hoof, though he does it with so much force that it feels more like a noogie.

"Sorry, little pup," Ken says to me. "We've gotta take you in." Take me in? What does he mean by that? Then, I feel a pit in my stomach as I make out the patch on his jacket. Sprawled in white letters are two words:

Animal Control.

This isn't good.

-----------oOo-----------

How humilating. Me, Rainbow Dash, future captain of the Wonderbolts, is behind bars. Well, technically its a grated cage and I'm a dog, but I still feel awful. I don't have control over when I wake up again and the day loops, so waiting for that loss of consciousness makes seconds crawl by slower than a crippled sloth.

I look around me. The room is lit by a dim light, rendering the room in a scarlet hue. There's a dozen different dogs in here; some are asleep, some are chatting quietly with the dogs beside them, and some are just laying down in boredom, like me. Another dog in this category is a border collie in the cage across from me. He looks older than the rest of the dogs and I doubt sitting still in a cell is really good for him.

Since I really have nothing else to do, I decide to make conversation with him. "Hey I'm Cocoa," I greet him, careful to use my canine name I gave myself earlier. He sits up and looks at me.

"How did a young and spry thing like you not outrun animal control?" He asks me. By his voice, I can only imagine that he's 60-something in dog years.

"They, uh, snuck up on me," I lamely say back, embarrased as well at the series of events. "What's your name?"

"The ponyfolk call me Spot," he says in a gruff voice, "but my mother named me Max."

"That's an awesome name," I say, trying to keep the conversation going. He peers at me.

"Er, thanks," he replies as I spot his tail slightly wave. A quick lull falls over us as I'm determined to talk to a dog through all of this, like I originally was trying to do in the damn first place.

"What are your, uh... interests?" I say, only realizing after I ask him that dogs don't tend to have interests. When he doesn't answer, I add, "Or, um, what do you like? For example, I like to-"

I go to say 'to fly', but I catch myself and instead just say, "I uh, I like... heights!"

He pricks his ears, as a rush of happiness washes over him. "Me too! I love heights! It's been my dream to live in the floating city I hear dogs talk about."

"You like heights?" I say back, forcing myself not to correct him and say Cloudsdale's name. "I didn't know dogs liked heights."

He blinks. "You're a dog, aren't you?"

Shit, I guess I did say I liked heights. "Oh, I meant that I didn't know other dogs liked it," I quickly lie. "I've never met a dog who wanted a pegasus as an owner. Er, besides myself."

He sighs. "I ain't like most dogs. It's true; most of my brothers wanted to go to some earth pony when they got older. Not me. All I ever wanted was to be able to watch the hillsides far below me, clouds moving by, while I can just relax and live out the rest of my days happy." He lies back down. "Too bad most ponies always go for the puppies."

I feel a wave of sadness flush over me. He means to say that no pony ever wanted him just because no pegasi ever got dogs? That's awful! If all he ever wanted was to watch the clouds go by from his owner's house, then, dammit, I can at least give that much to him.

My senses fade away, telling me its time to end today's adventure. Max, you'd better be here when I get out of this insane looping. I might not be a dog pony, but for him, I'm sure I can manage.

Author's Note

Is it still considered a self insert if I only insert my dog? Either way, this is the real life Cocoa:
http://imgur.com/a/Oq92D

Anyways, I'm sorry this is a day late. I've had to travel across my state, Maryland, to visit some relatives in the aftermath of my grandfather's death. But, as always, leave future suggestions for transformations in the comments, there were already two that I think I'll do at some point. A few rules, though, would be to only post animals with one head, so no Hydra or Cerberus, and don't suggest any more changeling ideas.

I hope you enjoyed this story's return to form, be back soon with the next chapter!

Tread Lightly Lest Embers Fly

Wind blows furiously past me as I fly carelessly above the landscape, trees but blurs from below. I let out a cry of delight, ravishing in my new form. I was the best bird in Equestria: a phoenix. Embers hop from my incendiary wings while ponies from the ground marvel at the sight of a phoenix. From my understanding, I was quite the rare occurance.

Flying is so much fun as a bird. I got a little bit of experience as an owl, but just taking time to seize the opportunity of more fluent flight is really a joy. As a bird, especially something as majestic as a phoenix, my drag is less, I have more control over my direction, and my wings better allow me to fly for long periods of time.

Somehow, after about a full 30 minutes of large swoops and midair tricks, I find myself just outside Canterlot, though more specifically I'm just outside Celestia and Luna's castle. I blink. I really don't have the urge to screw with the leaders of my country, but it would be easy enough to get to the throne room. Regardless of my hesitancy, I find an open window, most likely ajar to cool the building off from the summer heat, and hover above the room, careful not to be sighted.

Peering down below, I gape in awe as I see Celestia and Luna. While its not the sight of them that is amazing, its that they're currently in the middle of a chess game, of all things. I never imagined this is what the rulers of my country did in between of royal duties. I let out a snicker at the sight of Celestia's side of the board being considerably more sparse than Luna's.

"Your majesties!" I hear a voice say. I look at the throne room door to see a royal guard. "You are requested in the military defense meeting at once!"

Celestia and Luna depart for the meeting almost immediately, very quickly leaving me alone in an enormous throne room. Figures I'm small so the proportions of the room seem a bit overwhelming, but I'm sure as a pony it'd look a little less intimidating.

I sigh, or at least to the degree that a bird can, at that troublesome thought that keeps ricocheting back into my head; that I'm not a pony right now. I look over myself once more and put on an admittedly smug grin at how majestic I look. Although, actually , I shouldn't call myself 'majestic', I think 'cool' fits me better. Maybe not in this form, but at least my old self was the definition of cool. Sure, these phoenix wings are great and all, but I kind of miss my Pegasus wings. A whole bunch. A damn lot in fact.

I miss talking to ponies, too; I remember that being a decently big part of my life. Things like friendly gossip, afternoon picnics, tea times, pet play dates; any sort of fucking social interaction with another pony would be the best right now. To think I thought this was a dream at first... I was naive back then. Dreams don't tend to last this long.

Now it seems more like a cruel punishment, as if the universe is trying to make me learn a lesson by the end of this. It wants me to enter in my diary about how I should treasure the things I have, never take anyone for granted, and how this whole experience has been one of learning. I know that's what the universe wants from me!

"Well, guess what universe?" I shout a little louder than intended, rage giving every word a few extra decibels. "I'm just not going to learn a lesson then! Does that put a spanner in the works? A bump in the trail? A fork in the road? A cease and desist letter for your plan of how to fuck my life? Well good then!" I finish my tear-driven speech with a few sobs. Feeling a warm body on my shoulder, I recoil away to see a second phoenix, one that I feel like I've met before.

"Philomena...?"

She smiles kindly at me. "You thought you were alone, Rainbow Dash."

-----------oOo-----------

"So, how did you know it was me?"

Philomena gazes off towards the horizon, unaware of my question. When she told me we had to talk on the roof of the palace, I thought is was for security reasons. Now I think she just didn't want to miss the view. Though, I can't lie; that is one very awesome rainbow I'm staring at.

"I've never seen this green in a rainbow before," Philomena muses.

"It just looks like regular green to m-"

"No." She cuts me off. "Look harder." I blink. What could someone possibly hope to glean from a rainbow? Alhough, now that I'm looking at it, that green does seem... offputting. Even as I try to critically examine it to spot the irregularity that is making it seem off, I can't focus my full attention on it.

"What gives?" I inquire to Philomena. "Why am I having difficulty looking at a rainbow?"

"It is the same reason you cannot seem to become your true self anymore, Rainbow Dash," she replies simply. She says it in such a tone that makes me want to feel like someone has calmed me down, but it instead only raises questions.

"What do you mean?" I shoot back, almost trying to challenge her. "Maybe whoever made the rainbows today added in a foreign ingredient, what does that have to do with my current situation?"

"Bargaining and denial are the biggest signs of someone in distress." She turns to me. "Would you happen to be in distress right now?"

"What? Me? No, never!" I put on an unconvincing grin. "Who would be in distress when you've been given such an amazing opportunity like this? Not me!" I add at the end very loudly. "I mean, I was of course confused at first; I behaved myself nervously, kissed a bunny, became a stallion, almost shagged a dog, but I regret no part of my travels!"

Philomena keeps her gaze locked on me for a second, then turns back to the rainbow. A minute passes. "Look at it again," she says. I partake in a sigh of relief as she seemed to have believed my lie, but can't enjoy a happy-go-lucky feeling for very long.

"What the..." I breathe as I see, or rather don't see, the rainbow in front of me. I mean, I can't exactly make out the colors from here but I know it's still there; I can sense its presence. That doesn't make much sense, I know, but neither does anything in my life as of late, including this colorless rainbow that...

"It's gone," I tell Philomena the second I sense the unbalance around me. "Where did it go?" At first I get no answer. I look a Philomena and see no activity.

She appears to have drifted off to her thoughts but quickly shakes herself back into reality with a jolt and looks at down with the eyes of an eagle and the intimidation to match it. I see a shadow lurk up on her and gasp as it seems to take control of her. I regress to a cowered position, truly scared of what's happening. The wind picks up, making me use my talons to grip tighter the hold I have. What the actual hell is going on here?

"Rainbow Dash," she says with a booming, otherworldly voice, "we have been unpleased about your behavior. You are too stubborn and not selfless enough to remain as the Element of Loyalty."

"What!?" I cry out.

"You will soon disappear as the rainbow did," Philomena continues, though her voice is clearly not the one being projected. "We have moved you to a place in the universe where you shall wait for your end. If you can somehow manage to display all six qualities that an element holder should have, we will free you."

I'm trembling and well past the point of tears. "Wh-what are the six qualities?" I manage to get out through the buffeting winds and my shaking self. My attention is drawn to where the rainbow was.

"They are the qualities of passion," the voice says as I see the red band of the rainbow rematerialize, "determination," the orange band illuminates, "life and it anew," some of the wind clears as I make out the yellow stripe, "selflessness," green appears in my scope of vision, "security and trust," the voice loses some of its loudness as the blue of the rainbow fades in, "and leadership," the list finishes off as a purple streak makes the rainbow complete again.

"I promise, I'll do everything you ask!" I desperately yell.

"We'll see."

"I will! I will! Please, believe me... I will..." As I'm speaking, the wind returns to normal and Philomena is left in front of me. "Who was talking to me?" I ask her.

"They were the original element holders," she informs me. "They all care very deeply that the Elements of Harmony end up in the right hooves." She gets ready to take off but hesitates for a second. I tilt my head in confusion; it looks like she's listening to a voice.

"The element holders have informed me that you will wake up as your pony self for the time being but will be able to manipulate your body's form on command." She gives one more glance at me before flying off.

And then I get the strangest feeling. Normally, I would want to track down these element holders and buck 'em where the sun don't shine, but the only thing I want to do right now is face the facts; I am stubborn. I don't do many selfless things. Hell, I'm not sure if I ever showed any respect, even once in my life, about... life. It's a miracle, and what connection do I have to it?

I really do want to write that diary entry right now. The world dims as my senses fade, and I'm left in the absence of consciousness.

Author's Note

As much as I like the looper format, I think it's time the story got more control in an arc, eh?

Anyways, sorry for the long absence; I have no good excuse. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, as it was a bit of a different tone than the rest.

Blue Dawn

The familiar smells of my bedroom prompt me awake; it’s always nice to wake up somewhere familiar. Even if I’m not always in the most familiar form…

Except, wait. I feel different; irregular—something’s not right about me. I’ve woken up as a small alligator before but this feeling is quickly freaking me out as I lay in bed. I open my eyes in a rush of anxiety and quickly bring my arm to my face to see whatever I might have in place of a hoof. A claw, a talon, a paw, a fin, a hand; I’m prepared to see what’s giving me these pangs of oddness.

Only, I’m not prepared. The appendage that meets my eyes is a hoof. A cyan hoof. A cyan hoof with the very same scar I got last week; this is my hoof! I about do a double take after the following investigation of my body that yes, I’m back to being me: Rainbow Dash. Amidst my childish and giddy prances about my room, I realize why I had felt odd. All this time, I had been anything but myself, so now that I’m back to normal, I’m now feeling what I did for 22 years, minus this little adventure in shapeshifting.

Before I analyze any further the abnormality of being, well… me for the second first time, I’m knocked against my wall with the force of an explosion and the noise level to match it, and dammit if the impact doesn’t hurt like hell. When I get up and look to the opposite wall of my room, I see that an explosion somehow managed to happen in the middle of my bedroom; several pieces of furniture are out of place and my rug is singed—currently burning, as well.

“Rainbow Dash!” I hear a voice from somewhere and know immediately it’s one of the voices that Philomena had said were the original element bearers.

A figure emerges from the empty space the explosion cleared away in my house. At first, it doesn’t look recognizable, but a few moments pass and the image of a pony is formed; a mare with a red mane and tail, light brown fur, and magenta eyes.
I trot a few paces closer.

“Hello?” I say, trying to keep the fright out of my voice. “Uh, Rainbow Dash speaking, ma’am.” I’m not sure adding the “ma’am” was necessary, but I feel the same way talking to her as I do a police officer. She trots a few steps closer as well.

“My name is Loyalty,” she says in a proud stance. “I was one of the original bearers of the Elements of Harmony.”

“Which one?” I ask.

She gives a disapproving glance at me. “I see you’re not taking this seriously.”

“No, I am!” I reassure her immediately. “My life is on the line, of course I’m taking this seriously!”

Loyalty studies me. “Whatever,” she replies with a roll of her eyes, “I’m here as a messenger by the Harmonic Committee to tell you that we are not happy with your recent disregard for what it means to hold an Element of Harmony.”

I sigh. “Yeah, I heard you guys tell me that.” I look off to the side, too ashamed to look the pony whose element I now carry for her in the eyes. “You uh, mentioned something about redeeming myself?” I look back hopefully.

“Speeding right past any guilt or blame, as always…” she mutters under her breath. Avoiding blame? Is that something I do?

More loudly, she says, “Yes, some outside forces made sure that we allow you to prove yourself in the six categories that one such as I naturally excel at.” Loyalty ends with a short but cocky grin about herself. Jeez, she’s more arrogant than me. She continues, “Until that point, of which I’m still in great doubt that you’ll ever get to, we’ll be stripping you of your…” Loyalty trails off.

“My what?” I ask. What is it that she isn’t saying?

“Your uh, hm.” She continues to hesitate. “I think it’s better if you see for yourself.”

She claps her hooves and a shockwave of awful force quakes through my body, and though at first I feel no change, Loyalty holds a mirror up to my face and it’s clear what she took from me. Gone from my body is one half of my name: the colors of my mane that I pride myself in. There are just separate lines of different shades of gray, and I no longer have my streaks of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, or violet. My thought process jams up when I connect something in my head.

“This… this is just like the rainbow you showed me!” I say through a shaking voice.

She nods. “Do you remember the things associated with each color?”

I think for a moment. Every time one was named, a color of the rainbow reappeared. “You want me to get my mane back, don’t you?”

“You got it,” Loyalty shoots back. “Think of it as a scorecard. We also thought there was no harm in letting you to continue transforming into whatever animal you please.”

“So, before when I would wake up to a new form,” I say slowly, trying to nail the phrasing of this question, “where was I? Was I in a different Equestria?”

Loyalty thinks for a moment, as if trying to dumb down the answer for me, and finally says, “We put you in a different… timeline then the rest of your friends.” She seems to remember something. “We simplified the process by selecting a point in time and then manually rewinding back to that point every so often while we negotiated.” She rubs her neck. “Sorry for keeping you in an alternate universe against your will.”

The explanation goes way over my head, minus the last part of course, since I understand what kidnapping is, but I still have a question regardless. “Why have me change form every time?”

“We sort of just put the universe on auto-pilot when moving you back in time,” Loyalty says sheepishly. “You weren’t supposed to become anything but a pony, but after we caught the mistake, you looked like you were having enough fun as it is. That’s why you can keep that ability, now.”

I hear a knock on my door and we both turn our heads to the source of the noise.

“Rainbow Dash?” I hear Fluttershy say through the door. “I heard an awfully loud sound come from your house! Are you alright in there?”

“Who is that?” Loyalty says in a hushed tone. “She sounds a bit like Kindness…”

“That’s Fluttershy,” I respond, matching her whisper.

She looks nervous. “Is she an immediate danger to our privacy?”

“Well, she knows the door code.

Click!

The lock clicks and, before the door even opens, Loyalty disappears in a cloud of white smoke.

“Dashie? Are you oka-” My friend stops dead in her tracks as she sees the scene before her. I can’t even begin to imagine what it must look like; there’s a small crater in my cloud floor, the fire that engulfed my rug has now spread to my potted plant, my dresser is on its side, and my mane looks like it went through the most toxic bleach in Equestria.

Fluttershy rushes to my side. “Rainbow Dash! What in the world happened to your room?” She asks in a worried voice. She steps back to examine my mane. “What happened to your colors?”

“Um…” I struggle to think of a way out but nothing’s coming to me. I could tell her that a robber came, but that doesn’t make the most sense. Should I say that lightning struck? It could’ve zapped all of the colors out of my mane as well, right? Shit, the weather forecast for today is clear skies, there are no storm clouds in the system!

Should I… should I just come clean? Can I come clean? Would she believe me? It might be my best option—after all, I’m pretty sure I won’t just keep waking up with a clean slate after the meeting with Philomena; that’s one of the conditions, I suppose. I could try to have a companion in all of this… and who better than Fluttershy, right? Hell, she’s the one pony that can somewhat understand animals. Would the connection we’ve had since we were fillies be enough to convince her that this whole scenario I’m in is my reality and not some crazy fiction?

You know what? Fuck it, I trust her.

“Ever read the book Metamorphosis?”

-----------oOo-----------

“And so, uh, that’s the story!” I finish.

I’m not lying when I say that it took an hour and a half to explain everything. Here’s the thing, though: Fluttershy never once interrupted me. After we stamped out the fire, the first part of my explanation was spent trying to segue into how I could (and I guess still can) turn into animals. Even when I dropped that bombshell, I got no response from her. A little discouraged from the lack of any change in emotion, I went on to my interactions with her, how I met most of our friends’ pets, though I did leave out the… experiences I had with Angel.

Story after story, respawn after respawn, I finally got to the time I spent with Philomena and how I haven’t been the best holder that the Element of Loyalty. I told her about Loyalty, the quest for my mane, and how I decided to trust her with all this information.

And still, Fluttershy has no readable emotion on her face except for a thoughtful look. Didn’t there used to be an old saying about keeping the same face for a long time? Y’know, I guess it is possible that her face is frozen. I mean, it takes some serious talent and dedication to hold the same face for an hour and a-

“Turn into a bunny.”

“…what?” Did I hear her correctly? She wants me to… in front of her? I’m not even sure how it works yet! “Um… why, exactly?”

“I want to see you as a bunny,” she replies simply. “Then I’ll believe you.”

“Uh… sure thing, Flutters,” I tell her, even though I really don’t know how to use the, er, ‘powers’, if they can even be defined as much. Should I try the changeling approach? I close my eyes, focus inwardly, and imagine myself as a rabbit. I practically scream ‘rabbit’ mentally only to open my eyes and not see any difference. I see Fluttershy, still waiting patiently. I nervously face her.

“I don’t exactly know how to do it yet,” I admit. Her ears droop a bit. “I think I’ll need more time before I turn into a rabbit, Flutte-“

My sentence is cut short as I feel cramps across my body causing me to collapse to the ground. The room grows around me and I struggle to think of what the hell is happening to me, until I realize I’m turning into a rabbit. Managing to quickly glance at my hoof, I see it shrink into a white paw as my eye catches a tide of white fur crawling across my body. I feel the urge to vomit as my center of gravity shifts and, finally, all bad sensations dissipate until I’m left as a tiny bunny one tenth the size I was ten seconds prior. Loyalty never mentioned this part of the deal!

I look up and see Fluttershy and, even though I feel like I’ve gone through hell, the look on my friend’s face is just about the funniest thing ever. It’s saying both “my friend is a rabbit” and “I could have sworn the field of science existed”.

Standing up, I present my body to Fluttershy in a little stance and say to her finally, “Ta da!”

OOF!

My entire little body compresses as she swoops me up in a hug. “Ohhh, you’re so CUTE!” she says during a high-pitched squeal-fest.

“Nngh! Flutters? Smaller lungs, remember?” I get out in the middle of gasping breaths.

“Oh, sorry, Rainbow,” Fluttershy apologizes while letting go of me.

“Thanks,” I say brusquely before I realize something. “Wait, you can hear me?” I say in shock and, sure enough, she nods happily. “But alternate universe-you couldn’t understand me!”

“I didn’t know who to listen for,” she responds, only confusing me further. Whatever; I could never place exactly how her animal talent all works. She continues, amazed, “So you just say an animal and then you change forms?”

I immediately go to correct her only to realize I’m not sure how I changed. What Fluttershy said makes the most sense, though. “I guess so!” I say back. Fluttershy has always been exceptionally observant. I, too, make a revelation: there’s only one rabbit in the room right now.

“Where’s Angel?” I ask. “He normally came with you all those mornings.”

“When I heard the blast, I left him at home in case it was dangerous here,” she explains while I fend off her attempts to hug me again. “Hold on, Dashie.” Fluttershy says after giving up the effort to hold me again and trots over to the kitchen and opens my fridge. I want to tell her she should have asked before rummaging through my drawers but don’t feel in the most authoritative position right now.

She races back with something in her hoof as she lays it in front of me. “Here you go!” She gleefully chirps. She brought… a carrot? I think that’s what it is. I pick it up in my paws—still not comfortable with having apposable digits nor being this small compared to a carrot—and take a bite off of it.

“Mmm…” I audibly say in delight. Fluttershy must have put some spices on this or something because this is divine! Well, for a carrot.

I scarf the rest of it down and toss the leaves aside. “Flutters! What did you put on this?”

My enthusiasm confuses her. “Oh, um, it was a carrot.” Fluttershy informs me.

I blink. That wasn’t a carrot; a carrot tastes like dirt! “Why did it taste so good?”

“Well, rabbits like carrots-“ she point a hoof at me “-and you’re a rabbit!”

I think about it for a second, and feel a little weird. I’m not actually a rabbit, I just sort of… became one for little bit. If I’m a lion, I’m not going to have an appetite for meat, am I?

“What was your favorite animal to be?” My friend snaps my attention back to reality. “I always wanted to be a flying squirrel.”

Pondering her question for a second, I immediately reach an answer. “Well, the first thing I became was the best! I looked just like a dragon!”

Shit.

I realize my mistake too late, grasping my stomach as my body does internal gymnastics. God dammit, the last thing I want to turn into right now is a dragon! I close my eyes from the overwhelming amount of pressure I’m undergoing and when I open them just a split second later I find myself much closer to matching Fluttershy’s height, even surpassing it after a few moments. My fur seems to melt away revealing scales underneath and my tail painfully changes from a puffball to a that of a reptilian’s and, after a few huffs of air to regain my energy, I’m left as a dragon.

I turn to Fluttershy in time to see her creeping slowly towards the door. “Wait!” I yell, but since my volume level isn’t controlled she lets out a little eep! as she hides behind her tail.

“Flutters, you know it’s me!” I try to reassure her, but she’s still shaking.

“Um, uh, I- I-, just need to g- go fetch Angel!" She gives her excuse and an uncharacteristically large grin to go along with it, then bolts out the door. Though I sigh in defeat, I do catch the shout she gives as she rockets away.
“I’ll be back at 3:00!”

I glance at the sun through a window and realize it’s not even noon. I figure I should change back to being a pony before the mailmare or someone else sees me.

“Uh… pony!” I say, feeling silly. Barely having time to process the changes, I transform into a pony again. Once again, it feels somehow strange as I hold my arm up and can’t separate my hoof into individual digits. I slump my body against the wall and sigh. Right before I decide to go back to bed, I… I don’t know if ‘sense’ is the right word, but I come to notice a second presence in my head.

[Dash!] I hear the voice of Loyalty in my head. Freaky. How do I reply?

“Uh… hi!” I say out loud

[This is Loyalty speaking. I had to leave before I could finish what I was saying, so I made base in your head.]

I guess I’m supposed to just accept what she said, but it’s hard to. “How is it in there? I probe her for more information, because her “being inside my head” truly mystifies me.

[Surprisingly empty,] Loyalty remarks [You went to school, right?]

“Alright, shut up!” I get a little annoyed. “What were you going to tell me?”

I can hear her giggling, though she recovers quickly. [I was going to tell you how to change form, but you already figured it out.] Loyalty is silent for a moment. [I saw what you did,] she says at last.

“What I did?” I repeat. It makes sense that she would know how I handled the encounter with Fluttershy, but what would be comment-worthy?

[You told the truth to your friend. It was very adult of you; Honesty would be proud.] I blink. I guess I do have the reputation to lie, especially to somepony that seems to know a lot about me.

“I don’t know what it is,” I tell her. “I guess I just have put a lot of trust into Fluttershy over the years. We’ve known each other for such a long time that I feel okay with telling her everything.” I smile. “I’d like to think the feeling is mutual.”

In an instant, I feel a sensation wash across my body. Only, this time, it isn’t as painful—I don’t think I’m changing at all. Warmth and a slight glow spread from the ground up my leg and into my mane where I feel a rush of energy. I’m lifted into the air by an unknown force and when I meet the ground again, I step to a mirror and gasp in awe. My mane… the blue! It’s back! My mane is partly colored!

I think I finally get it; this whole ordeal isn’t a punishment, it’s a chance for me to correct my awful tendencies. Somehow, even though I still have five colors left to get, I’m confident that I can get back to being a good pony.

“Loyalty! I got my blue streak back!” I say as I turn around in a circle, trying to catch glimpses of it. I feel like I could burst with excitement.

[Do you know what you need to do next?] Loyalty asks.

I stand tall an proclaim confidently, “I’m going to get my Element back!”

Author's Note

So, as I said in the comments, this was supposed to be a two-parter, but I couldn't really find a place to split it up, so enjoy 3,000+ words.
Tried to incorporate some actual transformation scenes, and they came out OK. Next chapter is going to be a bit more fun and less focused on 'the quest at hand'. Also, Loyalty is not going to be as recurring of a character as this chapter made her out to be.

That's it for now, goodbye, all!