Twilight sat down at her desk slumping as she placed her hoof on the mouse and began pointlessly scrolling across research websites just looking at how to order books she already had seven copies of. But as mentioned before it was pointless she had nothing to do and that was strange. This wasn't her. She was the nerd I mean the egghead I mean....um the very intelligent one her friends adored so she had an idea. She would set out to find friendship and save Equest- oh who was she kidding she literally couldn't be bothered today she just wanted to relax and as Rainbow Dash said "chill-out" huh that was it find something entertaining and relaxing like uh listening to Kanyeigh West's new album so she searched it up and played the first song and before she was even twenty seconds through the song she heard a yell from the other side of the wall.
"Don't be listening to that sh-" Twilight immediantly butted in.
"Um Rainbow we are TV-Y do you understand" She whispered worriedly.
"But we're not on air" She huffed.
"No but we live our lives that way too so deal with it" She shouted loudly.
"Fine" Rainbow replied.
After finishing her argument she sat back down to close the music app and huff and puff some more. As her computer session came to an end and she was about to close the open tabs until she thought of something maybe her friends had done something interesting so she quickly moved the cursor to the back button held down left click and began to browse the search history.
What met her eyes was hundreds of websites she had never seen mostly because she mostly only went of Wikipedia and E-bay but still. This filled with excitement until she remembered her time was limited and her session had come to an end. The disappointment on her face as Fluttershy came in to have her hours on the monitor mainly looking at animal care websites and donation pages. Walking out the room was harder than usual for Twilight it was like a new world had opened she had seen things like Hooftube Marebook so many medias it was fantastic.As she walked down the hall of the castle she heard shouts and laughter from Rainbow Dash's room so she peered in and saw Applejack and Dash sitting down chuckling at something. Twilight got curious and asked what the scenario was.
"So what are you two laughing at" Rainbow Dash turned to reply but struggled with the amount of laughter coming from her mouth.
"Well ha ha ya see we're watching BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA" Twilight grunted slightly annoyed at Dash's incompetence to speak clearly.
"Me and Dash here are watchin a video one of Dash's friends sent over called one hundred hilarious fails and it's funny I'll tell ya that" Twilight raised an eyebrow.
"What are you watching it on?" Rainbow's laughter died down a bit.
"Heh only the best website eveeer" She let out a breath.
"Well what is it?" Twilight said.
"Hooftube, of course" Twilight's eyes widened and sparkled with joy
"Why. You never heard of it sugarcube?" Twilight smiled.
"Oh I've heard of it or read it I guess but anyway can I watch too?" She squealed with excitement as she flopped onto the floor to co-watch the video but just as she landed the video ended.
"Awwwwwww man that sucks anyway I wanna find out who made this. You guys in?" She looked at them both.
"Sure" Applejack said calmly.
"SURE!" Twilight said not calmly.
"Let's see Ah ha The Amazing Brony. What?" She said puzzled at the username.
"What's a brony sugarcube?" Applejack asked.
"Ah maybe it's a bro who you know likes knees or something."
Twilight face hoofed " Really? Rainbow just-just really?
"Hey it's the best I got you got anything better" She said as a smirk appeared.
"Nothing is a better answer compared to what your opinion was" Twilight then smirked.
"Is not!" Dash shouted.
"Shush you two ya'll are actin like yer five just look it up and find a definition or somethin"
"How about Wikipedia" she smiled and looked to her friends they just looked in boredom.
"Clearly Twilight's mind is becoming more and more eggheady I'm telling you it's true" Twilight growled.
"Okay so What The Hay Is A Brony and search heh easy" Rainbow Dash put a hoof to her mouth but in couldn't stay in she burst out laughing.
"BWA-HA-HA-HA ha did you really just put in the search bar what the hay is a brony pff how pathetic do you even type ha" Before she could stop laughing a robotic voice adressed the results.
"Two-hundred-thousand results for What The Hay Is A Brony" Rainbow Dash shrugged.
"Whatever." She said annoyed with her defeat.
"Right. Brony a male fan of the show My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic" A silence had begun.
Applejack stared.
Twilight stared.
Rainbow stared.
The text they had read was an absolute shock through there minds. They played in a show for little girls who are seven but their also appealing thirty year old's who are men. They were all taken aback it didn't make sense at the bottom of the page it said examples of bronies:
BlackGryph0n
LittleShyFIM
SaberSpark
ACRacebest
Watchpony.com
Eilemonty
Vannamelon
Paradox Theory
AnimatedJames
Nowacking
BronyDanceParty
WoodenToaster
Man that was a long list but there were thousands of names and examples the decided that someone must break the verlasting silence so the one to do this was Twilight so she said the only thing to say in the situation.
"What the hay!"
Author's Note
Tell me if the story's ok and if i should continue in the comments plz
Don't Have A Panic Attack
The scream of the fourth princess was clearly heard from a mile away. As her friends clutched their ears tightly trying desperately to evade the headache causing shout. Her scream finally died down but the panic staying the same as she trotted hysterically in circles, worry being her only expression while her friends were sighing in relief. Twilight tried to regain a casual mood but failed, at thinking about her own reality of the situation just increased her panic....again.....as always.
"Now Twilight please relax sugarcube it ain't that bad I mean it's bad but it ain't that bad" AJ said in a calm tone.
"Are you kidding me this is terrible we were meant to be sold to little girls you hear me AJ little girls" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. Applejack eyebrow lowered tired of her friend's whining.
"Rainbow is right, we weren't meant for "older" men" Twilight said.
"Why don't instead of you guys panicking the hay out of yer selves and get your flanks over to the computer and search content made by the uh "Bronies" see if it's really that bad" Applejack said compassionately. Except for that first part that was just pure aggression.
"Uh ha yeah what AJ said lets try that" Rainbow said.
They sat down hesitantly and typed in Hooftube carefully looked at each other then clicked on the search bar and typed in bronies and left a space and thought before they entered a conversation.........
I said they entered in a conversation......
Uh hello...
"Oh sorry so what type of subject do we want Twi Music, TV, Art what?" Rainbow said with a little more confidence.
"I don't really care just get the horror over with"Twilight said.
"Okay here goes nothing. Music it is." Applejack said.
"Oh No" Twilight said.
Thousands of results were shown scrolling further down it seemed the list never ended all thumbnails had on of her friends on it or in some way referenced them. Twilight couldn't bear this. She was pulling her ears at this point in frustration and terror.As much as Twilight and Rainbow Dash hated the idea of the whole thing they had to "experiment" with these Twilight struggled to call them....videos. She shivered. They moved the cursor onto a title reading: Smile-Dubstep Remix well here it goes......CLICK!
5 minutes later........
"Ah make it stop noooo please" This time Twilight was rolling across the floor like a child having a tantrum. Honestly Rainbow Dash stood there actually sort of enjoying the tune doing some little steps of a dance as AJ had left the room unable to take Twilight's reaction anymore. Just as the song was about to end the door of the castle opened slowly with a walking tower of groceries oh my god it's....it's....just Rarity. Well what were you expecting. A monster? nah I can't be bothered just go with it reader oh sorry am I breaking the fourth wall soz that's Pinkie's job well back to it I guess.
"Well a little help would be appreciated or am I not worth the trouble" She moaned sobbing.
"Uh. Fine" Applejack groaned.
"Thank you darling" Rarity replied immediately stopping her sobbing and dropping all twenty bags into AJ's hooves. "Well I'd say this place needs a little clean up wouldn't you say Applejack darling?"
"Uh..yeah....I..I guess...ugh...up" She didn't finish her sentence before the shopping bags toppled her.
"Rarity help me please"Said Twilight as she jumped out from behind the door way.
"Why whatever is the matter" Twilight simply gave her puppy eyes and pointed at the computer.
"Look" Twilight said.
Rarity with caution approached the device and scanned the screen not really understanding why Twilight was so well just scared. Rarity looked back at Twilight and Twilight leant her head forward and trotted over to Rarity and went back in her search history all the way back to Wikipedia to the word: Brony. Rarity read the brief sentences on the the word each sentence her face changing from puzzled to worried to disgust all the way to terror.
"My goodness Applejack catch me" Rarity fainted hitting the floor......hard."Uh I believe you were suppose to catch me dear" She said but Applejack couldn't hear her from under all the damn bags she was carrying dammit Rarity keep your shopping with YOU and stop saying freaking darling you've said it like 500 times in the whole five seasons combined uh. Wait huh this is not a rant dammit I keep forgetting well once again right back folks.
"I know right?" Twilight said. But then she heard a tune and then lyrics coming from the room up the hall the laptop was gone and there was music playing Twilight went up the corridor and peeked through the door to see Rainbow Dash....singing? Wait! Wait! Wait! were making Rainbow Dash
sing now good jesus stupid writer anyway she then swiftly swung open the door to see Rainbow Dash with headphones on dancing. and then started singing again it went something like:
"Yeah I own this beat"
"You can call me the king or the ruler"
"Felon on bass, getting hoarse on the mic"
"We're getting 20 percent cooler"
Everyone stared in shock Rarity fainted again." Oh please don't have a panic attack"Rainbow turned around closed the laptop and threw down the headphones.
"Uh I wasn't doing anything..I was...I...I.....Uhhahh" And guess what she fainted too.Then so did Aj then Twilight writes a letter to Celestia
Dear Princess Celestia we have male fans
who adore us and are make art and music
dedicated to us send me a letter about
your thoughts on this.
Then Celestia had a heart attack and her last letter to Twilight was: '^' yep that's it a face that you do in text then everyone becomes an Alicorn how about that that's what I'm doing I don't care what the bronies think god dammit, somebody get M.A Larson on the phone I need to talk to him.
Right Now.
"Fanfictions, shipping and clopfi- now what in tarnation! "
"Hello"
"Yes"
"Okay Larson listen I need some help"
"What with exactly? I told you I don't have any more nsfw stuff."
"No, that's not it! I stopped writing a fanfiction for a year and need to somehow follow up on its success while also keeping its rating high."
"Ooh, thats a hard one. I think you'll need some occasional fourth wall breaks, references to the popular media of the community and....... an extremely obnoxious and very annoying narrator."
" Ok, got it thanks. Also forget what I said about the whole alicorn thing, Hasbro make enough money from toys as it is. "
"True that my man, later."
" Bye"
Now where was I? Oh yes I was narrating a story for you spineless numbskulls to enjoy or hate or criticise or clop to. Actually, scrap that last one. If you can clop to comedy you're an actual freak. No, no, no. Something's still missing I'm not obnoxious or annoying enough. Wait a minute. "British Accent Acquired": There, perfect.
It was still beaming with sunshine in the beautiful town of Ponyville, but this was hardly acknowledged by the six panicking ponies who were still struggling to take in the sights bestowed upon them. So many people were in this community of self-proclaimed bronies it simply baffled Twilight. Her friends shared her thoughts and feelings, well. Almost all of them.
"This. Is." Rainbow paused. "AWESOME!" Twilight's jaw dropped in astonishment.
"What!? Are you crazy!?" Twilight protested, Rainbow simply shrugged.
"No, just amazed." Twilight had so many questions to ask but held back the urge to argue with the Pegasus until she had finished her argument. She hated being shown up, and interrupting she thought would give Rainbow the chance to make her look like a fool. "Don't you see?" Rainbow continued. "We are so awesome that people outside of our projected audience enjoy our strengths and personalities." Twilight understood Rainbows point but she still felt uneasy about full grown males watching her allowing their most disgusting, perverted fantasies to rein havoc on forums and websites. Publicly and globally.
"I guess that's kind of a good way of putting it." Twilight had reluctantly given in and decided that using Rainbows depiction of these " bronies" would make her feel much better about the whole thing. She still felt foolish though as Rainbow flashed her a cheeky grin.
"Well I guess we still have a bit of time left let's look into it a bit more. What do ya say sugarcube?" Twilight reluctantly agreed and they scrolled on, surfing this seemingly never-ending nightmare . Or was it Twilight who just wasn't enjoying this? All her friends seemed comfortable with the subject at hand, even Fluttershy! All her friends she thought shared her disgust were not showing it, if anything her friends were showing fascination!
"Now what's this here?" Applejack asked. " Fim...Fiction? Seems okay. " AJ proceeded to click the link with the press of a hoof opening a website full of show inspired stories, and...Wait did I not mention how Fluttershy got here? Did I honestly forget that? Or am I just trying to be funny covering up the fact i didn't get round to actually introducing her. Most likely the latter but anyway! We have a story to return to. Now where was I, ah yes that horrible place. Fimfiction was what the colourful banner in the top left corner of the screen read clearly the mane six hesitantly but curiously scrolled through countless stories each one including different plots and protagonists they were all in awe at how much these people devoted their lives to these ponies. And I think that realization hit them.
"This is beautiful" Twilight said
"People devote their time to making all of us into their hand crafted world to make us seem so superior and great. These people really love us." Fluttershy said, relieved she had finally been given a piece of dialogue.
Wait, this can't be right. This is too good to be true. This is Fimfiction, surely something has to go wrong there must be someway i can make this interesting, they are being so boring, geez. Oh, sorry my mistake the mature option was off. Shall we continue? They came across and option it read: Mature which was quite vague so being the naive ponies they were they enabled this option much to the negligence of Twilight's advice.
They found a story and read the description. It read: jst my frst stori thort it wud b a gud ideea 2 mk it a clopfic.
After reading past the poor grammar and spelling mistakes one word stoo d out in particular. Clopfic.
"Now what's a clopfic" Dash said.
"Its what the narrator loves!" Pinkie Pie said jumping up from behind Dash before...wait hold on that s not true I...I prefer light shipping actually a couple smooches that's all. "Clop, clop, clop" Mimicked the irritable, incredibly annoying, pink pony. "You have the nerve to call me annoying? Wow!" I hate that little pony. Anyway, Pinkie Pie diverted her attention to the screen of text that Applejack began to read aloud:
"It was a sunny afternoon in Ponyville and Applejack had decided to meet Rarity and the carousel boutique for a surprise she had apparently gotten ready in time for AJ's arrival...."
"Seems normal enough" said Dash.
"Ooh I wonder what the surprise is, is it a party, is it a balloon or a dog or a cat or a toy or a cupcake or a muffin or a pie or another cupc-" Dash put her hood to Pinkies mouth stopping her from continuing her unending list of predictions.
"Pinkie calm it down with the cupcakes and the balloons and" Dash let out a sigh "Just calm it down with Pinkie Pie okay?" Pinkie nodded in obedience. Before having an inner thought: "I wonder what a Rainbow would taste like, no, no, no a Rainbow cupcake! But how rainbows weren't real objects they were just projections of light (at least that's what Twilight said.) So what's the closest I could get to tasting an actual rainbow cupcake?"
Pinkie shot Dash a look that made her feel slightly uneasy. Then Applejack started to read again..
4 Hours Later
"Rarity, returning the favour slid her tounge into AJ's... "
" Okay! That's enough thank you! I think we have learned enough from this one, shall we move on? " The mane six nodded with no hesitation.
"So, um what should we do next?" Rarity asked avoiding any eye contact with AJ.
"I think we should um, maybe, possibly look at
some art?" Said Fluttershy softly.
"Sorry what?" Asked Twilight.
"I said may-" You know what I can't be bothered to do the whole, what? I said.... What did you say? Thing it's boring and repetitive, moving on.
"I think we should leave it for another day huh?" Twilight said finally giving the narrator a way to end this story . Also sorry Fluttershy but we just hit 1000 words so I think I can live without writing about your reactions to NFSW art okay? Anyway the ponies all gathered and discussed what had been bestowed upon them today they had learned about Fanfictions (kinda), Shipping (kinda) and Clopfics (indefinitely) they all prepared to leave before giving their final thoughts.
Rainbow: "I thought it was kinda cool got a bit weird towards the end but whatever."
Applejack: "It was uh....it was......questionable."
Fluttershy: "I think it's alright some of the things they make are really scary and that thing with Rarity and AJ was just awful.
Twilight: "I definitely learned a lot, but I'm still very sceptical on if I should really feel comfortable about this."
Annoying one....I mean Pinkie Pie: "I'm just glad it's over so I don't have to listen to this guys voice anymore, but the brony stuff was so cool and the fanfiction was so romantic and detailed...explicitly detailed actually."
Rarity: "I did enjoy parts of the whole little experience but I mean who are my kidding that fanfiction was pure blasphemy."
The ponies all hummed in agreement at Raritys final statement on the matter and prepared to leave until they heard Rarity chuckling. "Oh but darling that fanfiction was really something I mean I wish it was real, I really do, but who am I kidding if AJ could last that long I wouldn't need to buck her twice a day!" The mares stared in shock all of their jaws lay flat on the ground all accept Applejack who's cheeks grew bright red.
"Um, heh heh. What I think Rarity is tryin' to say is she helps me buck the apples twice a day, right Rarity?!" Applejack said getting slightly more aggressive towards the end of her statement.
"Ha, ha. No!" Everybody, sorry everypony stared in shock.
"So. Awsome." Rainbow said in awe.
"What!?" Twilight boomed to Rainbows suprise. Fluttershy had already fainted by this point and Applejack had pulled her hat over her head in embarrassment. Rainbow on the other hand was loving it.
"Bwa ha ha, ha, ha ha oh my gosh that is priceless." Rainbow composed herself "You and Rarity did- ha ha ha!" Rainbow blurted as Rarity slowly began to realize the gravity of what she had admitted to only just now. By now nearly everyone had fainted except for Dash, AJ and Rarity even Angel was snoozing in shock next to Fluttershy. After Dash found the hilarity of the situation to be gone, Rarity began to speak.
"Well I guess I shouldn't have made it as public as I did but I'd just like to say I would love to do this again. This art of research really does fascinate me. So another time?" Rarity said only to be met with the glare of Applejack and Rainbow Dash. They gestured to each other hoping the narrator wouldn't understand what they were trying to get through to Rarity until Rainbow Dash blurted "Don't say that or he's going to make a-" Sequel. You are right. Now I have a story to write so enjoy you're embarrassment AJ, fly safe Rainbow and um...ah good luck dress making?
"Why thank you darling." No problem. No problem at all. But now I need something to go off for a sequel. A kind of cliffhanger or teaser. Let me think..............Got It!I
All the ponies had awoken from their panic-driven slumber and rose to the Pegasus, unicorn and earth pony all standing above them. "Are we done?"
Twilight asked.
"Um kinda. I kinda need your help."
"Yes Rainbow?"
"Well I got sent this link and I can't exactly use my hooves on a mouse you see and you know..since you have magic..you can, you know-"
"Yes Rainbow! I'll open your stupid link. Let me get my head together first."
5 mins of getting Twilight's head together later.
"Okay let's see what this baby takes us too" Rainbow said bursting with excitement. After using her magic to click on the link they were taken to a website where a loading bar appeared onto the background which seemed to be a bedroom then the title appeared in 16- bit text. It read:
Banned From Equestria
Author's Note
I'm very glad I got round to finishing this as it was one of my favourites to write, and even though I started writing it when my writing experience was very little,
it was fun to finally finish nonetheless. And if a sequel is wanted a sequel will be made but I'm planning to leave it at this for now. Anyways thanks for the ratings and comments guys. Yours sincerely Narcissistic Writer (darkhorseapples) [l/b]
