Squaring it out

by Cytotoxin

Rating: everyone
Tags:
Length: 4091

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-12-09 23:33:48 UTC

Chapter 1

Squaring It Out.

The day before Nightmare Moon festival. No doubt, sister would be here again imploring her to go out and take a part in it. An action Luna could not comprehend, much less find agreeable. Why? That question nagged on her mind ever since the first festival she attempted to attend. Wasn`t it quite obvious by now that attending Nightmare Moon festival was an activity Luna wholeheartedly despised? So why Celestia kept returning with same old tired spiel about "enjoying oneself"?

Door opened. And... that was not Celestia. Not unless she decided to be pink today. No, not Celestia at all. That was... Hm. Luna wracked her memory. Aha. One of the current elements of harmony. Element of... laughter? Yes, one Pinkie Pie. In short, a mare whos visit on the eve of Nightmare Moon was absolutely worst idea ever. Luna remembered the last year vividly. She was not fond of pink mare in the slightest, given she was a ringleader in the whole "lets ignore everything Luna says and run around like headless chickens instead" craze. In the end, Luna pretended to make peace with the festival, unwilling to upset Twilight Sparkle... Who, she felt, put an undue amount of effort into making Nightmare Moon festival tolerable for the night princess. For which the aforementioned night princess was quite grateful. Thoughtfulness always was hard to come by.

Princess sat her cup of coffee aside and leaned forward, watching Pinkie Pie. She did not feel like starting the conversation. Let the crazy one begin the talks. As on cue she did, babbling about Nightmare Moon and fun and attending and... Luna stopped paying attention.

No, stop. Enough.

Ooh, so you`ll go...

NO. I am not attending this festival, and this is final. Thou can tell Celestia not to bother either.

But it would be fun!

For whom?

...What do you mean, for whom? For everypony, of course!

Including me? I don`t think so.

Oh, why not? It`s fun, you see! You get to dress up and collect candy and... and...

Correction. THOU get to do that. I get to be the scarecrow. Thou of all ponies shouldst know, given the amount of grief you gave me last year. Get thee from my sight.

Pink mare visibly deflated, her mane going limp as she looked up at Luna with twitching lip and puppy-dog eyes - "Bbbut, the fun...." Luna lost her patience. She stood up, her hoof slamming solidly on the table - "DID I LOOK LIKE I HAD FUN THE LAST YEAR? ENOUGH OF THIS TIRESOME DRIVEL, THOU HAST EXHAUSTED THE LIMITS OF MINE PATIENCE. NOW BEGONE!" Sheer volume of her voice tossed the bothersome pest out of the doors, making them swing around wildly for a few moments before they came to rest with awkward squeak. Luna snorted and rubbed her forehead with hoof. She could feel a migraine coming on.

Several minutes later, another hoof pushed the doors open. Luna had to admit - that was impressive, given that there was no gilded shoe on the hoof. Stepping into the room of irate goddess often could be quite hazardous. Apparently, one Twilight Sparkle was willing to take that risk. "Greetings, Twilight Sparkle." - she offered, taking an indulgent sip of her fresh cup of coffee - "Come in, come in. Thou art a welcome guest in my abode."

Unicorn approached slowly, obviously wary and worried. "Erm... Princess Luna, what just happened?" - she asked with hesitation, nodding back at the doors, - "With Pinkie Pie, I mean..." Luna let out a sigh. While it was very tempting to claim nothing did, she was quite certain she wouldnt be allowed to leave it at that. "I believe she had attempted to request my attendance for the festivities tomorrow. I refused." - she offered, setting the cup down, - "Care for a cup of coffee?" "Id like to." - replied Twilight, as she trotted closer, - "I, um... I understand its a sore topic for you, but... Can you please make an exception? Im afraid that Pinkie Pie took your refusal... well, pretty badly."

...Not thou too. Give me one good reason why I should attend this festival.

..um... because it`s fun?

Is it, Twilight Sparkle? IS IT!? Is it so fun to attend a festival dedicated to being scared of thou? Because if it is, DO enlighten me, how doest thou achieve that, for I am at a loss as to how a celebration of thine vilification should be fun whatsoever.

But it`s not! You are not Nightmare Moon, are you?

Common consensus sayeth I am.

What do you mean, common consensus?

Thou doest remember the yesteryear, I believe. Tis been quite clearly shown to me that average pony recognises no distinction between me and Nightmare Moon whatsoever. Shown by thine pink friend most abundantly so, no less. Do forgive me if Im not looking to receive more of the same this year.

Luna lifted her cup and took a long sip of coffee, calming down her fraying nerves. Twilight did the same... and probably for the same reason. She had pensive look on her face. No doubt, she would attempt to twist things around into some kind of compromise. It was quite endearing, really, how Twilight would bend over backwards trying to make everyone happy. Unfortunately, Luna was in no mood for compromises of any kind, and she pitied the lavender mare beforehand. She`d doubtlessly bend over backwards again and then some before acknowledging some things can not be fixed in a day.

Perhaps if you wore a costume...

Absolutely NOT. I wish no part in this... slander.

But...

Twilight. I do realise you`ve tried your best to make the yesteryear experience amenable. I also do realise thou art merely trying to do the same this year. However, thine efforts are in vain, for I simply hate that holiday. It stands for the very same reasons that precipitated my so ill-fated opposition to Celestia a millenia ago - and I care not for another reminder. Please, I beseech you as a friend - let me be, for I fear I will do something drastic, should the matter persist in the discussion.

But...

...Seriously? Must thou persist? At the risk of invoking my ire, even?

Um... Are you serious about that?

...YES. Doggone it all to fiery pits of hell, I am as serious about that as one could possibly be! How doest thou not see!? This festival is not fun to me. It`s not supposed to be fun to me.

But WHY?

...Thou didst not just ask this. Didst thou?

Um...

Oh, for... Twilight Sparkle, thou art smarter then that. If my reasons for not attending are not clear to thou yet, ask thineself this - why is it that Celestia has no festival that would celebrate her as fearsome being?

...I... Why would she?

Why, thou ask? Better question thineself, why not? For if I had merely threatened, she had done truly fearsome things in the past. But thou celebrate no Equinox Blaze.

...equinox... Do you mean the end of Equinox war...?

It may come as a surprise to thou, but it was briefly celebrated right after the war ended. For a couple years. But that festival had tapered off quite promptly. I can`t imagine why.

Lunas sarcasm did not go unnoticed by Twilight. "Well, Im certain there was a good reason why the holiday didnt catch on." - she stated matter of factly, attempting to dodge the implication, - "There are many old holidays that are not observed today." Lunas face showed her opinion on the matter clearly, as she sneered - "Oh yes. I cant imagine why some of them were dropped out of use. Alas, this particular festival wasnt... As much as I`d like it to be otherwise."

Princess... Tell me honestly, please. Do you really, really, really hate this holiday and want it to be cancelled?

Honestly? Yes. Yes, I do hate it and want it to be cancelled.

Is there nothing we could do to make it less... um, hateful to you?

No, not really. Why, how doest thou even imagine making it less hateful?

...Well, I don`t know, really. I was just hoping... hoping there is something we could do.

Luna cringed. Time for the big letdown. "Not everything can be fixed, Twilight Sparkle." - she offered quietly, taking another sip of coffee, - "This festival is one of those things that cant be fixed. It will go on, theres no doubt about it. And I will keep on hating it. I cant really cancel it - it had become a part of culture. But I cant and I wont enjoy a part of culture that celebrates my villainy." Lavender unicorn set the cup down, her eyes wide as she inquired - "Wait... Do you see this holiday as some sort of... penance?" Lunas short barking laugh echoed through the room.

Penance? Hah, as if. No, nothing of the sort. Its not Nightmare Moon that made a festival. Its a festival that made Nightmare Moon. They started celebrating it a year before the Exile. As thou possibly suspect, I`ve been livid. Celestia, however, deigned not to notice mine discomfort, and so it had been allowed to go unchallenged. Next year... well, suffice to say that next year, ponies got the Nightmare Moon they asked for. The rest is history.

...But that makes no sense! Why would somepony just.. make up a festival like that?

I know not. But thou canst easily verify my words. Just consider why the date of Nightmare Moon is completely unrelated to the date of mine exile fore and aft?

Huh, now that you mention it... but that`s awful! Why would anypony do that?

As I`ve said, I know not. I have mine suspicions, but thou art unlikely to pay heed to them right now, as they cast grave shadows on a certain sibling and teacher.

Celestia? You`re right, that does sound preposterous.

And yet, the pieces fit.

How? How do you even figure your own sister would do that to you, Luna?

Certain Nightmare Moon comes to mind. If I could want my sister`s sun snuffed out once, who can be certain she had no such designs on my moon? No, Twilight Sparkle, merely being sisters is not enough. Neither of us pulled our bucks back then.

No, I refuse to believe that! She`s not like y... not like that!

Thou wished to say "not like you", didst thou not?

Twilight looked down, ashamed - "I didnt want to say it like that. It just... slipped out." She poked at the floor sheepishly and shook her head - "Im sorry, but there must be some other explanation. I can`t believe Celestia would ever do something so mean." Shrugging, Luna extended her hoof towards the door - "I know not what hast been done. Only suspect. As thou canst imagine, things had remained tense between us. She was not ready to talk to me on the matter the last year. Nor this year, it seems. If thou hast thou goals set firmly on resolving this conundrum, I believe thy best chance would be to get the account from the mouth of the horse, so to speak. Go speakest thou with mine sister, Twilight Sparkle. For she holdeth the knowledge denied to me."

Unicorn looked like she wanted to object, but could not find a proper cause to mount her argument on. Her mouth opened and closed a few times and then Twilight let out a soft sigh. "...Youre right." - she admitted softly, - "I still dont believe Celestia could ever have such a malicious intent, but... but she is the only one who knows of what happened back then, except for you. I need to find out what she had seen... heard... done... ah, I need to talk to her." And with that, she was gone, closing the doors behind herself. Luna shrugged and refilled her cup. She could feel the distortion mounting around her room. No doubt, Pinkie Pie would manifest again. "You meanie."

___

"...Come in." - Celestia was curious. She had a good hunch as to whom might have had visited her so late, but it was still a strange turn of events. What could have Luna possibly have told to Twilight to prompt her faithful student to seek teachers advise on so abruptly? True enough, the door opened just a little and lavender mare slipped into the room. "Oh, Im sorry... I forgot its late..." - she offered sheepishly, taking in the regal nightshirt and nightcap that adorned Celestias form.

Chuckling, Celestia gestured to the pillow on the floor, taking a sit at another gingerly, - "Thats quite alright, Twilight. I havent gone to bed yet, just catching up on some reading." Nodding, unicorn sat down, her hooves crossing as she looked up. That... Hm. Celestia remembered the moods and poses of her faithful student quite vividly. That particular pose meant that Twilight had questions. Uncomfortable questions. "I take it things with Luna didn`t go well?" - she offered calmly.

Well... No, not really. She refused to attend. But, um... she also said many things that... that I need to ask you about. Is that true that festival began before her exile?

...Yes, I believe so. Of course, both things happened around the same time, so...

Thats what I wanted to ask you about, princess Celestia. Nightmare Moon festival seems to be rather... well, arbitrarily dated. Its not celebrated on the day of Exile. So if it`s not Nightmare Moon herself that prompted this holiday, how did it came to be?

Her brow creasing, Celestia mulled the question over. She could tell the truth. But that would be a bit problematic to explain. Or she could probe her student for more information beforehand. Despite being retrieved from the moon, Luna was still quite bitter about certain things, festival included. "My sister`s transformation, so to speak, was not exactly instant. There had been a period of time when she was more Nightmare Moon then Luna, and yet continued to be my co-ruler before her final demarche that prompted the exile." - she offered cautiously, - "This festival had been a reaction to her growing jealousy."

And this is where your and hers accounts of events diverge. Luna maintains that the first festival of Nightmare Moon had spurned the transformation into effect.

...She thinks festival had caused her to become Nightmare Moon? No, that can`t be right. The whole point of festival was to show her how absurd her fears were...

Unicorn suddenly jumped up, her hoof outstretched - "Aha! So it WAS you who started the first festival?" Blinking, alicorn pulled back, her hoof raised protectively subconsciously - "Wait, that... Huh. Well, alright, I suppose you figured it out anyway." She looked down, shaking her head, her tone bitter as she recounted - "Luna had been complaining about not being loved for quite a while before. I knew that her fears were unfounded, Twilight, but no matter how many times I would reassure her, she would not listen. So... So I thought I should show her, for one night, what it would be like if ponies were really afraid of her. I never expected it to become a tradition that would span a millenia, given that it profoundly failed in it`s primary task."

And that primary task was?

Well, to show Luna the difference. I hoped that she would see how silly the idea that she could be hated was. Alas, she was too far gone in her jealousy by that time to notice.

So, what happened?

Well, she stormed off, and... the next years celebration was after the Exile. I had hoped shed understand now... But perhaps, I`m expecting too much of her. Luna always had hard time joining in.

Twilight facehoofed. "...I think I understand now." - she muttered, holding her head with both hooves - "What a horrible mess... Princess, you really need to talk to Luna about this. This is one huge mistake." Celestia heaved a little sigh - "Ive tried, my faithful student. Unfortunately, Luna was not willing to discuss the matter last year. Ive secured her promise to attend the festival at Ponyville, but I could not do more then that. According to your last years reports, it seems that she did manage to make peace with festival, so I am at a loss as to why she is so reticent about it now. If you have any insight as to why she is so hesitant about the festival, Id be glad to hear it."

As a matter of fact, I do have some insight.

Then by all means, clue me in. I love my dear sister, but sometimes she is but an unfathomable enigma to me.

To put it really blunt... Luna hates the festival.

Oh...

Ive conversed with her at length about her issues and reservations about festival, and she had explained it thus - she dislikes the holiday thats purpose is to celebrate her villainy.

...celebrate... her villainy?... How in... I don`t even...

I`m sorry for what I will have to say now, princess Celestia, because it will be hard for you to hear. But I fear that you must.

...Its been a long while since Ive felt that apprehensive, my dear student. Is the misunderstanding that vast?

Yes. Yes, it is. Back when the festival occurred for the first time, Luna did not recognise it as a mockery of the idea. She took it as confirmation of the idea.

A.... confirmation?

Yes. In her own words, she can`t see how she of all ponies is supposed to have fun during the day when everypony is afraid of her.

But... Its not her! Nightmare Moon is supposed to be everything shes not!

Yes, she feels that way too. Unfortunately, she is the one who is associated with Nightmare Moon, and by association, common ponyfolk transfers the festival`s traditions upon Luna herself.

...But... but she knows it`s not true... Oh dear.

-  I have another question.

Yes?

Why did you allow this festival to continue?

I`m... not sure, really. It just happened. Ponies had fun, it was harmless, I never saw a reason to oppose it... I hoped Luna would see the humor of it when she came back!

You know, she mentioned something else. Why aren`t we celebrating Equinox Blaze?

Celestia reared involuntarily, her whole body acting out her indignation subconsciously as she retorted - "NEVER! Its NOT a cause for celebration!" A second later, the implication of question hit her solidly - "...Oh dear... You mean thats how she feels about the festival?" Twilight nodded glumly, looking on the floor - "She asked me - 'Why is it that Celestia has no festival that would celebrate her as fearsome being?' And when I asked her why would anypony celebrate that, she mentioned Equinox Blaze and said there was a festival about it... but it petered out."

Celestia slumped on the floor, covering her head with hooves. "...I am sorry. I am so sorry." - she muttered, her voice hitching a little, - "I..." Twilight trotted closer and very gingerly hugged her teacher - "I`m sorry it turned out like this. I really am. But right now... you really need to talk to Luna."

___

It took only a few minutes for a white alicorn to compose herself, but much to Twilights surprise she neglected to change out of her nightclothes. Celestia merely shrugged at her question - "...I just dont feel like changing. Call it a gut feeling." She raised her hoof and knocked on the doors firmly. Voice from inside offered - "Thy may enter. Both of thou."

"...Luna, what just happened here?" - indeed, it was quite a legitimate question. When Twilight left the room, it was quite in order. Now, merely half-hour later, everything in the room was covered in streamers and confetti. Furniture was thrown around haphazardly. In the middle of floor, blue alicorn and burgundy pony shared a plate of donuts and a case of beer cans. "Ah, thou art just in time." - offered Luna jovially, - "I`ve been so delightfully haunted by one quite chaotic pony. Thankfully, miss Pinkamena came across a little later and settled things."

Completely straight-maned and darker then usual, Pinkamena Diane Pie smirked, - "Hey there. Twilight, princess. Came to share in our little party? Beware, the entertainment is bitter today." She tossed two cans of beers at their fabbergasted visitors. Both reflexively caught their respective offering with magic. "Huh... Pinkie, are you alright?" - ventured Twilight cautiously, looking on her strangely serious friend.

"I quite prefer Pinkamena, if you don`t mind." - answered pink mare flatly, as she stood up - "It seems to me that sisters have a family talk to do. Come along, Twilight." And with that, she quite unceremoniously walked out of the door, dragging Twilight along. Celestia followed them with bewildered stare, then turned around to face her sister.

"Hello, Tia. Having problems sleeping? Decided to come talk to me about festival personally?" - offered Luna at last. It was hard to tell if she was sincere or sarcastic. Gingerly, Celestia sat down at the spot formerly occupied by Pinkamena and let out a soft sigh. She cracked the beer open and took a long sip from it. She could use all the help she could for the upcoming conversation. "...Well, yes, actually. On both counts. Luna... do you really hate the Nightmare Moon night?" - she asked wearily.

Well, duh.

Did you compare it to Equinox Blaze?

Quite so. Would you disagree?

I do want to... Simply because Equinox Blaze would be all about what did happen, and Nightmare Moon is all about what didn`t.

That hardly matters in the situation, Im afraid. The crux of the issue lies in the fact that both festivals glorify wrong things in their core. We both know what Equinox Blaze celebrates. What I found out however, is that Nightmare Moon celebrates the same idea. Ive put forth a commandment for the festival to be cancelled - and the ponies demonstrated abundantly clear that they would loathe me for it. By now, they believe in Nightmare Moon and desire it to exist. A role I want nothing to do with... But also the role I am not likely to escape, now.

..No, this is just wrong. I`ll cancel it, then.

...Now, why would thou do that, sister?

It`s obvious to me now that this... holiday is nothing but an offense to you. By my hoof, no less. So if the ponies have to loathe somepony for canceling it, they may as well loathe me.

That wont work. Even if thou cancel it, they will still blame me for it. They will see it as one of thy attempts to mollify me, to distract me from more villainy. Neigh, youre a millenia too late, dear sister.

But... there must be something I can do!

Something? Most assuredly. Something constructive? Now that would be much harder to do. I`ve had time to study things, sister. To observe, consider, compare. Some things even thou has no power to correct.

Luna, thats preposterous. Theres nothing impossible in the world.

Well, of course. Thou hast the ability to forcibly rip that accursed holiday out of society. But what next? No matter how much thou explain things, our little ponies will gleefully pin me for a villain. 'Mean old Luna does not like our holiday. Thats because shes mean old grumpy!' Neigh, the only way for thou to cancel that festival without pinning it on me would be to commit with the villainy that would overshadow Nightmare Moon.

But...

Thou wilt learn to live with what youve done, sister. Thou had started that holiday, tis true, but it`s not thine no more. Thou hast no more power to correct or cancel it.