One hell of an adventure

by EverlastingKnightmare

Rating: teen
Tags: Dark, Comedy, Romance, Adventure, Human
Length: 24172

why did I write this?

This takes place in the world of 'Balled of Echo the diamond dog'.

Hi, I suppose a lot of you already know whats to be expected, but hell why not say a few words? I'm Austin, just a normal human brony who ever so luckily ends up in Equestria, 'FUCK YES!' is something we would all yell if we got there, not in my case, no I just had to be a Manticore when I got there, not being able to talk is maddening, but I'll get over it. At least I kept my camouflage hat.

Thanks to Rust for giving me the ok to do this, awesome bro. I'll add more characters as I find out just what the hell I'm doing.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-08-01 16:20:07 UTC

Don't talk to strangers

I suppose we should start, hello, my name is Austin, and I am a brony. I am the strongest person at my school in the 'avoid and tire out’ kind of way and the most annoying bastard you will ever meet, a lot call me a bully, while my buds just call me ‘the ultimate troll’. I am about 6‘4“ and have blond hair and deep blue eye, I wear a camouflage hunting hat and a tee-shirt with ‘kiss me I’m Irish’ on it along with blue jeans with rips in the knees, just your typical badass. Anyway you don’t want to hear all of that, let’s really get started.

“Hold still!” Yelled one of the schools ‘tough’ kids yelled as I avoided another punch.

“I don’t feel like harming my beautiful!” I yelled at him and ducked out of the way of another blow. ‘fuck, no time, need to end this now.’ I rolled to one side and got up, he charged at me with his fist in the air....

Giving me a straight shot at his face with a chair, good thing I sorta know this guy, he can take a hit. The chair broke on contact and he fell to the ground, with only a black eye. “Damn dude, what the hell does it take to cut you with blunt objects?” I chuckled lightly and turned to his stunned friend. “Take care of godzilla here, I need to bounce.” I ran out of the school and down the street, passing some random bystanders when a hobo stepped in my way. “Watch it buddy!” I spun around him and ran around the corner to just see him standing there.

Oh fuck, teleporting hobo, shit’s about to go down.

“You have quite a athletic build.” He stated, creeper, senses, tingling. “But that’s not why I stopped you.” He looked up slightly fo I could see that crazy grin, yellow teeth and all.

“I hope your not going to ask me to brush your teeth, I recommend Colgate tho.” We both chuckled, so he must be a brony, sweet.

“No my boy, I just wish to ask you something.” I gave him a questioning look, dat grin, it pisses me off for some reason.

“Go right on ahead, nothing could go wrong.” Yup I just said that, fuck you universe.

“Very well then, would you like to go to Equestria.” ....

“You have my attention.”

“What would you like to be?” I had to think this over a bit.

“Nothing that’s helpless, something that can fly and hit hard, not a griffin, something a bit more, with built in weapons and can take a good amount of hits before it goes down, a dragon is too big and would be too easy to spot, I don’t know.” He kept up that stupid fucking grin, I feel like punching this guy.

“And what about your friends and family?”

“I don’t give a hoot, friends just stick around to not feel my wrath and family is look for a way to get rid of me and my swag.” His grin faded a bit then came back full force.

“Well, shoulden’t keep you waiting.” Wait, what? He pulled out a brick and chucked it at me.

“This is why you don’t talk to strangers...” I mumbled and tried to get out of the way, then I found out I couldn’t move. “Oh fuck this is going to hurt...” It connected with my face and I blacked out.

‘Ow, fuck, did I drink a keg or something?’ I thought and rolled over. ‘oh wait, a brick went into my face, thrown by a hobo, wonderful.’ I grumbled something and tried to sit up, but I coulden’t for some reason. ‘Motherfucker, I’m not that hurt am I?’ I rolled onto my stomach and pushed up......wait.

Suddenly comfortable,

I can feel something swishing around behind me,

I feel right on my arms.

*Loading*

*Loading*

*Loading*

Fuck loading I need to open my damn eyes. I opened my eyes slowly and looked around, I was in a forest, a jungle looking biome, the sounds of birds chirping in the trees could be heard all around. ‘Where the fuck am I?’ I wondered and, as I moved my head, I could feel something on my neck. I moved my paw......

Wat....

My eyes shot wide open as I looked at the paw, MY paw. “Arghrar?!” I went from shocked to confused. “Grrarer?” I coulden’t talk! Not in English anyway. ‘Dammit looks like I’m thinking until I can find out how the fuck to talk. Wait, I can’t talk but I can growl and shit?’ I moved my paw up to my neck, and sure enough I had a large patch of fur, like a mane or something. ‘Must find a pond or something, hopefully I can walk right.’ I set my paw somewhat in front of me and pulled myself forward, I thought it would be harder to walk on four legs. I broke into a slow jog then I full out sprinted, jumping over the undergrowth like it was nothing. ‘Holy fuck I’m awesomely fast! Hopefully I still have my good looks.’ I growl-chuckled as I entered a large clearing with a good sized lake in the middle. I walked over to the water and got a good look at myself.......... I’m a fucking manticore. I had a grayish fur color for my mane, getting slightly darker as it went out, and lucky for me I still had my hat. ‘Fuck yes...’ I took my hat off my head and looked at it, nothing out of the ordinary.

I put it back on my head and took a drink from the lake, it was refreshing to say the least. ‘Alright Austin, your a manticore, thats fucking fantastic. But then again that brings up the problem that you can’t talk and ponies would be afraid of you, maybe except Fluttershy, but I don’t think I am anyway near Ponyville, hell this isen’t even the Everfree.” I facepawed and walked back over to the jungle, my stomach growled. ‘Better find some food.’ I looked around until I saw a dear, my oh my how unlucky this dear’s day is. I dropped down into a stalking like stance and snuck towards it, my paws making no sound as I approached. I heard a twig snap to my left, so did the dear, we both looked towards the sound and a arrow shot out and right into the dears chest, I could tell it was a heart shot when the dear fell over and didn’t get back up. ‘Holy shit dude, nice shot.’ I sat up and nodded my head. I walked over to the dear and pulled out the arrow, I spun around just in time to see another arrow coming at me. *Badass mode turn on, estimated time of shut down 5 seconds.* Time slowed down as my eyesight got 20% better, my reflexes went sky rocketing, and I felt like a million bucks. I reached forward and grabbed the arrow, snapping it in half in my grip. *Out of time, try again later.* Aw dammit.

I dropped the two halfs of the arrow and began to back up. “What the, how did it do that?” I heard some whispers.

“It must know of our hunting methods.”

“But how can it? It is just a manticore.”

“Approach slowly. No sudden movements.” I was about to start shaking. I was dead if they decided to attack again, badass mode is still in cooldown. From the bushes a team of 5 cat looking people stood up, weapons like spears and daggers drawn. I sat down and stared at them with a calm look. Might as well die looking cool. “Get the kill.” The lead one ordered, he had what looked like black and white fur and held a spear. He walked towards me slowly, and in some sort of crouch. I looked behind me and focused on lowering my tail, which it complied. “You are not a normal beast...” He spoke softly, mostly to himself.

“Grr,” Was all I could manage, I fucking hate that. ‘READ MY FUCKING MIND! I KNOW YOU CAN BITCH!’ I screamed in my head, he flinched and held his head.

“What the?” Oh I think I just found my way to talk!

‘Kill them all Jonny,’ I almost whispered in my head, as if I was trying to control his mind or something, of course that didn’t work and he just tilted his head at me.

“Are you trying to speak?” I nodded and he went wide eyed, a talking manticore, he would have never seen it coming, I must have been given this ability to talk, but really can’t get to anyone with low I,Q, power.

‘Take me to your leader.’ I tried to sound like a robot. ‘Oh and give me some food, I’m hungry.’ I looked at the corps of the dear, the hunters had stopped dragging it away when the leader said something about me talking.

“You wish to eat?” I nodded and grinned.

‘You stole my kill you bastards, so feed me at least.’ He held his head again and looked at the other cat people.

“Give it a leg. We will try and bring it to the camp.” Oh goodie, he found out most of it on his own! I wonder how this will end. They cut off a leg and tossed it to me, which I caught in my mouth and began to eat.

‘I’m not going anywhere until I’m done.’ I thought and layed down.

“We have fed you, you must come with us to out village.” I looked up at him and hissed a bit, then went back to eating. He facepawed and sat down. “You take the rest and head back to the village, tell the elder what we found and that I shall come back with it when he is finished eating.” I looked at him and growled.

“I’m a he, dumb ass”.......I just talked. We both went wide eyed and looked at each other.

“Did you just talk?” I nodded slowly and tried again, but out came the growls. “We will find out about you more when we get to my village. I looked down at the half eaten leg then back at him. “When you are done, of course.”

Is Austin over powered? Only for five or more seconds at a time, the recharge take a few days so he won’t be using it anytime soon, I compleatly ignored the tail in this chapter but I will try and fix that in a later chapter.

And no need to point out the spelling and grammar, I know all about it *Sigh*

Heh, warrior cats

I finished eating a few minutes later; the cat guy told me his name was Munro, who the hell names their kits that? Wait I just said kits, fuck I’m starting to adapt. Anyway the walk lasted a few minutes, had to make a quick stop to let a diamond dog burrow into the ground after a few others. I was about to run out there and scare the absolute shit out of it when Munro stopped me. “Do not,” He whispered. “They outnumber us, you may not see it but they have many numbers below.” Huh, that makes sense, I watched as the d-dog finished digging and disappeared under the ground. “Something brought them here; let us move quickly to avoid contact.” I nodded and jumped out of the bush and walked a few feet before the ground rumbled.

‘Aw dammit, heavy foot steps over hollow caves. I was careless!’ I jumped away from the rumbling ground when a spear shot up out of where I was standing. ‘Oh that’s just mean…’ I grumbled and watched as one of the biggest d-dogs I have ever seen dug his way up and glared at me, he had some strange markings and had a AWESOME looking spear. I want this spear.

“Manticore? Was not excepting you, no matter, you shall fall the same as the kitty people.” He growled at me and raised his spear.

‘I’m boned.’ I sighed and stood tall. ‘Well might as well go out like a man-ticore. Get it? Ah talking to myself.’ He was about to charge when a arrow zipped past his head, making him dive to the side.

“Run manticore!” Fuck no; I’m not leaving the kitty behind. I saw the d-dog get up and shake his head. “It’s the alpha! We stand no chance alone!” I turned to him with a bemused look.

‘Really? I’m a fucking manticore, and you think a diamond dog alpha puppy is going to scare me?’ I turned back to the alpha just to fall over out of reflex, the spear just grazing my mane. ‘BITCH!’ I growled and stomped on the shaft of the spear, sending it to the ground and out of the grasp of the alpha. He went wide eyed and looked at me.

“You are no normal manticore, a worthy fight.” Worthy? FUCK YOU! I’M FUCKING AWESOME! I swung one of my paws at his face; of course being slightly smaller than me he got out of the way and clawed my face.

“ARGH!” I leaned back and stomped down, knocking him away long enough to check the damage, not deep enough to cause bad bleeding and will heal in due time. Munro jumped out of the bush and pulled out a dagger.

“Leave the best alone, mutt!” He hissed at the dog, but he only laughed.

“Your beast is one trained in fighting; I shall kill you and tame it for myself.” On no he didn’t! I was in his face in a heartbeat. He looked at me slowly and gulped. “O-or not?” I growled and punched him in the face, no I did not claw his face, I punched him just because I can. He flew back and hit a tree with a mighty thud. “You stupid cat!” He spat and got up; I had a grin that could make anyone but him laugh. He dove forward and ran on his front and back paws, too fast to catch him he got past me and picked up his spear.

‘Aww fuck.’ I got a blank look as he charged me. ‘Well it’s been a nice run, I talked as a manticore, found a furry named Munro, and punched a dog in the face with a soft paw, my life is complete.’ I waited a moment and heard a crunch sound, not feeling any pain I reopened my eyes and widened them as I saw the Munro had taken the hit for me, it went right through his heart. It took a moment of struggling but he had finally went limp.

“That will teach cat to interfere.” I was in shock, this was the first death I had seen, EVER! I was scared, pissed, and fucking EXCITED! My tail twitched and my eyes focused on the alpha. “You look at me with the eyes of a true beast."

“That is because you have let it out.” I growled, his eyes flew wide open and shock, right before my scorpion tail jabbed right into his throat. He pushed away the spear with the corpse of Munro stuck to it and grabbed at his throat, trying to stop the bleeding, but after some time he choked on his blood and died. I watched has the life left his eyes slowly, I remember every detail, the blood slowed down its descent from as it began to clot. “That will teach you.” I hissed and clawed his face. “That’s for earlier.” I walked over to Munro’s corps and took the spear out, rapping my tail around it so I could carry both it and Munro. I lifted him up onto my back and walked the way we were walking, soon finding a fairly big wooden wall, guarded by two cat people at the entrance. I flew over them and landed in the middle of the village.

“Manticore!” I heard a woman scream. I sighed and shook my head, setting down the body.

‘This day keeps getting better…’ I mumbled and turned towards the gate….

To see it covered in guards, ready to rip my head off. ‘I love you lady luck! HUG ME!’ I face-pawed and sat down, swishing my tail around to show off the spear.

“Where did it get that? And why was it carrying Munro?” I heard a few whispers as some of the villagers went to investigate Munro’s corpse. “It must have killed him!” One hissed, must have been the same one.

“No, his tail would have left a smaller stab wound. Is he holding a spear.” At that, I lanced the spear into the ground in front of me.

‘Yea, an alpha diamond tried to kill me, he took the blow to save my life, now if you excuse me I will leave.’ I know someone heard me there, because a few of them gasped and started muttering about the alpha. I flew over them again and out of the village, as I was flying I just realized I WAS FUCKING FLYING! I plummeted to the ground and crashed into the ground, knocking over a tree in the proses. ‘Ow…’ I sat up and rubbed my head. ‘At least I can take a fall or two, still hurt.’ I looked around, and saw nothing but jungle.

I think it was a better idea to stay with the cats……..

“FUCK!”

Still, horrible writing, at least I got Microsoft word now *yay* enjoy.

Oh look, another cat

I walked through the forest, lost as all fuck, could be the fact that I don’t know where the hell in the world I am, well I know it’s a jungle with cat people and d-dogs but that’s all I got. ‘I need to stop talking to myself…’ I walked out into a clearing with a small lake, fuck I walked in a circle. ‘Argh, need, booze.’ I dragged myself over to the water, took off my hat, then shoved my head into the water, drinking as I was down there.

Thump.

Did something just land on my back? I took my head out of the water and looked back into the eyes of a pissed and sacred cat lady. “What are you waiting for?! RUN!” She hissed at me and shoved her heels into my side, somehow getting me to jump forward over the small lake. I looked back and behind her, d-dogs were chasing her, well they were; now they’re just sitting at the other side of the lake looking stupidly at me and the cat lady. “You can go around or get your fur wet dogs!” She yelled at them, a victorious grin, that faded as they split up and ran around each side, there were about 5 of them. “Uh oh, get moving!” She kicked my sides again.

‘You could say please!’ I growled.

“Please!?” She hissed at me and shoved my hat onto my head. “Oh you forgot this.” I adjusted it a bit then started running.

‘Almost forgot about that. Thanks.’ I sighed a bit and side stepped a tree.

“No problem.” She muttered. “Why are you wearing a hat anyway?”

‘You could call it a trademark. I always wear it.’ I then stopped dead in my tracks and looked up at her with wide eyes, she was doing the same. ‘You can understand me?!’

“How? What? WHO!?” Oh boy she was confused beyond reason; I heard the dogs getting closer so I had the run again, only this time I ran into things and tripped a lot, hey you would do the same if someone could hear your thoughts! “Get it together! We’ll find this out once we lose them!” I could not agree more! Goddammit wish I didn’t use badass mode back there, but I would have been shot, oh well! I decided to test the theory that is seen all the time; can a dog follow a cat up a tree? A tree was in my little war path so I I jumped up, latched my claws into it, and climbed up it fast, miss kitty dug her claws into my pelt trying to hold on. Once I reached the top I got onto a sturdy branch and looked down. Those stupid dogs, can’t even climb up here! “Thanks for the help…”

‘Austin.’

“Right, so now I have a few questions. One how the hell can I understand you. Two why do you wear a hat if you’re a manticore. And three why was your head in the water.” I thought about all of those carefully.

‘Well you must be able to read my thoughts somehow, I wear a hat because it’s the only thing I have on and because I love this fucking hat, and my head was in the water because I was getting a drink.’ I grinned. ‘Most exciting things you have ever heard aye?’ I chuckled and looked back down at the d-dogs, aw dammit their setting up a camp to wait for us. ‘That’s grate…’ I muttered and looked at her. ‘How long before they get bored and run off?’

“Beats me, I’m still thinking about what you told me…”

‘Like I said, the hat’s awesome and I wear it everywhere, what’s not to understand about that?’ She glared at me and I chuckled. ‘Oh lighten up, we’re going to be here a while so why not lighten the mood?’ She looked at me a moment then chuckled.

“You’re a strange manticore, you know that?” I bowed my head.

‘I tend to always stand out.’ We both laughed. The next few hours were filled with talking about random topics. Like I asked her name, she said it was Kate, oh the irony, at least to me it’s ironic. She got kicked out of her village for doing gods only know, she didn’t tell me but it must have been bad since she flinched super bad about it. I kept looking down at the d-dogs; they were just talking around a fire about stuff I couldn’t hear about. ‘So why did you think it was a good idea to jump on a manticore’s back?’ She shrugged at me with a grin.

“Don’t know, seemed like a good idea at the time.” I nodded, nothing could go wrong from jumping on a wild animals back, don’t try this at home kids, do it at a friend’s house. “The suns going down, looks like we’ll be staying the night up here.” She muttered and leaned back on the branch, laying her head on my stomach like I was a pillow.

‘I’m that comfortable?’ She nodded and closed her eyes, soon falling asleep with that grin still on her face. ‘I love my job.’ I grumbled and leaned my head down, soon falling to sleep as well.

---The next morning!---

I woke with a pounding head ache and a growling stomach. ‘Damn, I’m hungry.’ I looked down at the d-dogs; they were sleeping in nap sacks. ‘I wonder if diamond dog tastes good, it would get rid of them for us and feed me at the same time, nothing could go wrong!’ I got up slowly; making sure Kate’s head was stable and wouldn’t wake her up. I stalked down the tree, if that makes sense, so I wouldn’t make any noises. When I was on the ground I walked over to the biggest one, in case he woke up and decided to be a pain in the ass and kill me. I opened my mouth and chomped down on his neck, his eyes shot open in surprise and tried to push me off, but I was too strong and he was losing blood really fast. Soon his whimpering died off and he stopped moving. ‘Time to eat!’ I think I just purred, well I am half cat I think. I ate as much as I could before I was full, it wasn’t the best meal I have ever had, and he had dirt in his pelt and stuff like that. I turned to the other two, who were stirring in their sleep. I shot back up the tree and watched as they got up, I was on a lower branch so I could hear what they were saying.

“What is smell? Blood? What happened?” The smallest one looked around a bit before he spotted the body of the large one, you know when I killed him he had some bottles on him, like he was some sort of potion maker. “Leader is dead!” He yelled, it full woke up the medium on and Kate, who was up on the higher branch. She leapt down onto my back and looked down at the two running around panicking.

“What did you do?” She questioned me, looking at the two.

‘I suspect I killed their leader, the others must have run off in the night to get ranged weaponry to shoot us down, 1 down, 4 to go if we decide to kill them, I’m full anyway.’ I licked my lips and looked up at her. ‘I suppose it’s your call on what we do.’ She went into thought and I looked back down at the dogs, boy were they out of it. I mean the way they are just running around tells me they can hardly think by themselves.

“Let’s take out one more of them, hold one down and kill the other in front of him, that will teach them to mess with us.”

‘Didn’t know there was an us. But fine, you take the smallest one and hold him still, I’ll get the taller one.’ She nodded. I readied myself and jumped at just the right time, landing right on the taller one. Kate jumped of my back and tackled the smaller one. She held him up, holding his arms like some cops do back on earth.

“We are going to let you go pup, but not him, this is for chasing us.” She nodded at me and I lowered my tail to the lager one’s neck.

“No! We are sorry! We will run away! Just don’t kill me!” Begging for mercy? Naw. I stabbed my tail into his throat and got off him; he struggled on the ground and held his neck. He slowed his struggles after a while then went limp. I turned to Kate and the other dog, she had a slightly disgusted look on her face and the dog looked like he was about to wet himself.

‘Let him go.’ She nodded and pushed the dog to the ground, who shot up and ran off with his tail between his legs. ‘Well that was…..Entertaining to say the least, now what?’ She looked at me then put her paw to her chin in thought.

“We could leave the jungle and go out into the town close by. I can’t remember what it was called though.” We both sighed.

‘Well, hop on and you can give me directions.’ She smiled and jumped onto my back eagerly. ‘Damn I must be soft.’

“And cuddly.” She pointed out.

“And cuddly.” I sighed and began walking.

Look out world! Here comes Austin and his partner in crime Kate the cat! Shit is about to go down!

Stupid dragon

‘Argh I’m bored, and hungry, Kate can you get me some food?’ Ya I’m whining for food when I’m a hunter, deal with it.

“You're a hunter, catch your own food.” She grumbled from my back.

‘That’s not a bed you know.’ I growled as we kept walking towards what I thought was a village. ‘You smell smoke?’ I looked around. I felt her get up from my back in a hurry.

“Come on, we have to make sure no one is hurt.” Don’t have to ask me twice! I dashed off at high speed. Still not even close to Dash, damn. We broke out into what could have been a village once, but instead there were burnt piles of lumber and the land itself was scorched black. “What the hell happened here?” Kate jumped off my back and winced, jumping back up. “It’s still hot! Who or what did this is still arou-” She was cut off by a rather loud roar.

‘Ow, what was that?’ I looked around the area we were in while backing off of the scorched land.

“It sounds like it came from the north, come on!” She kicked my sides which, I do not know why or how, made me dash forward, she grabbed my ears to steer which hurt a bit.

‘Hey you would hate it if I grabbed you by the ears!’

“To be honest I would tear you to bits for touching my ears.” She chuckled a bit and made me avoid a tree. “This is kind of fun! You should let me do this more often!”

‘Can we like, save and quit or something? I’m not ready for this, maybe after a drink and some cheese puffs.’ I whimpered at the thought of having to take on a huge dragon. Kate sighed and let go of my ears, then leaned down next to one.

“It would have gotten away by then, and think of those villagers it more then likely killed.” My eyes widened. “If some got away then they would be homeless, maybe orphans.” My eye twitched. “Now, what are we going to do about that?” I began to crouch down.

‘Take out the little bastard and make it suffer.’ I growled and shot off, now for the planning part.

--Planning active.--

Fuck ya, love the computer state of mind.

Alright, so this dragon is more then likely bigger then a fucking barn so I won’t be able to take it head on, so stealth would be better, follow it until it gets to a cave and then wait for it to sleep. Then we attack, but how? Fuck going to have to think about that when it’s time.

--End planning.--

I shot forward, getting a ‘whoa!’ from Kate. I ran and followed the dragon the best I could but it was starting to get away. “Why don’t you fly?” She grabbed the edges of my wings and flapped them a bit.

‘Umm, don’t really know how to.’ I chuckled sheepishly and I swear I heard he facepaw, how the hell did I hear that? Her face and paw should be soft! No time for that now. ‘Ok then, must learn to fly in next five seconds.’ I began to flap my wings, it felt weird but I got use to it. I began to lift off the ground, hovering there a moment before touching the ground.

“Come on! You can do it!” Come on Austin! You can do this! I flapped my wings harder and harder, slowly raising farther and farther, soon to be above the trees. “You're doing it!” I opened my eyes and saw the tops of the trees passing us by.

‘Wow, I’m doing it!’ I cheered and tilted to one side to fly left, then right. I would have tried a loop but Kate was still on my back. ‘You holding up ok?’ I turned my head to see her clinging to my fur for dear life.

“Ya, just catch up with the bloody dragon!” A bit British there, nice. I nodded and shot off like a bullet towards the yellow speck, which, after a while, turned back into the dragon. I slowed down a bit so as not to shoot out ahead of it. After an hour or so of following the beast, it finally landed and walked into a cave with vines covering the front of it, making it look like a wall that has some vines over it. I landed to the side of the cave and let Kate off, poor kitty was shaking. ‘Um, you ok?’ It was hard to not let the laughter into my voice, but she must have heard something cause she glared at me.

“First time flying, so not really.” She sighed. “Come on Fluffy, let’s go see what we’re dealing with.” It was my turn to glare at her. “Oh calm down and come on.” I sighed and followed her as she got to the edge of the cave opening. “There he is, sleeping on his riches.” Riches eh? I peeked around the corner and spotted the large yellow dragon napping on a large pile of gold and gems.

‘Me likey.’ I chuckled and snuck in quietly, Kate following behind me just as silently. ‘Alright, let’s get up onto it’s back and see what we can’t damage.’ I saw her tail twitch, must be from the excitement, I’m excited to! I mean we’re about to take on a dragon! WOO! She climbed onto my back and I flew us up onto it’s back. ‘The scales themselves look like gold.’ I pointed out as I landed softly on the back of the armored beast. ‘We need to get rid of one quick, I just finished my plan!’ She nodded and pulled out her dagger. She slowly slipped it under one of the scales and looked at me. ‘On my signal.’ She nodded and tensed up. ‘NOW!’ She pulled up on the dagger, making it rip off the scale. I stabbed down into the open wound with my tail and pumped venom into it,  around the time the dragon woke up and shook us off.

“YOU DARE ASSAULT ME WHILE I SLUMBER?! YOU SHALL PAY WORTHLESS CATS!” It roared at us.

‘Time to run!’ I grabbed Kate and put her on my back, after that I took off. We shot out of the cave and up into the sky, the dragon following in its rage. I kept flying higher and higher, if I’m right about this plan then this will work.

“WHY ARE WE GOING SO HIGH!?” I heard Kate yell from behind me.

‘Being a smart ass, that’s why!’ I grew tired, so I had to stop going up, but I kept that height. The dragon got up to us and paused.

“You give in? Very well.” It raised a claw to slash at us.

‘Nope.’ I grinned, Kate flinched. But what she was waiting for never came. The dragon got a stupid look on his face and looked at his arm, it was frozen there a moment before it went limp and fell, almost taking the dragon with it.

“What is this trickery?” He looked at me and studied me a moment before going wide eyed. “Wait, I know you, your-” He was cut off by his wings starting to fail. “NO!” He tried to keep his wings going, but they soon froze up and he fell. He roared his whole fall down.

‘Pun power, see you next fall!’ I laughed and Kate just groaned. The dragon hit the ground with a mighty thud and a loud CRACK! I looked down and saw a cloud of dust raising up from where it had landed. ‘Come on, let’s get a closer look!’ I lowered myself down, which took about 5 minutes to get to the ground. That’s where we saw the corpse of the dragon, it’s head facing a weird way.

“Oh wow, the fall broke it’s neck,” Kate didn’t look so good, but I knew she would get over it. I walked over to the corpse and poked at it with a claw, it put a slight scratch on the scale, the scales must not be that hard, at least on this one. “I have a idea.” I turned to Kate, she looked better, that was a good thing. “We could take the scales and sell them off in a town, maybe get some armor made of it.” I thought this out a moment before adding.

‘What about the gold and gems?’ She looked like she was having the same thought

“We need bags, if you can get some leather then I can make bags.” Is it bad that I think of world of warcraft when she said that? More then likely not.

‘Alright, I’ll go hunt, you get the scales.’ She nodded and got to work, using her knife to pry of the scales. I went off into the forest to hunt.

---A few hours later---

Argh, too tired to hunt anymore. It’s too dark anyway. I dragged my hall back to the cave where Kate was resting, when I pushed myself in I stopped and slumped to the ground and sighed. ‘Job done, must rest, I would have brought back more but I got hungry.’ She was sitting by a fire, she got up and rolled her eyes at me.

“I’m not surprised, you haven’t eaten since this morning. Alright I’ll get to work while you rest up.” I grunted happily and crawled over to the fire. Where I curled up and fell asleep, at least I thought I did. I think I woke up in what looked like a brick building with a fireplace, a small table, and a large leather looking chair.

“Well, come on, come where I can see you.” Wait, I know that voice. I got up and found myself human again. I was wearing everything I had when I was on earth, my torn up blue jeans, my awesome shirt, my hat, everything. I slowly walked around the chair to see a large flat screen TV and a man sitting in the chair, he looked like he was in good health and was holding onto a bottle of what looked like vodka.

“Who are you?” I asked, totally not worried about my safety or anything.

“I’m your game master boy, and I must say you are the most AWESOME PIECE I COULD PICK!” His sudden outburst made me jump. “You see Austin I decided to start playing this game not too long after getting my invite, but I needed to piece to invest in. So I picked you and decided to make you a manticore just cause a manticore has things you would have a hard time getting used to, and I know you didn’t ask me any questions about your being in the world of your dreams. I’m just awesome and decided to explain.” I had a blank look on my face.

“You know you act like an idiot right?” He shrugged while nodding and took a sip from his bottle. “Wait, what did you say about a game?” He grinned and pointed at the screen. I looked at it and my eyes shot wide open, there I was, laying down next to the fire, sleeping while Kate was skinning the deer I brought back.

“Your adventures are fun to watch, I must say. Your first real hunt, you could have improved your stance and had better timing but you did well.” He took another sip. “But let’s speed this up shall we?” He snapped his fingers and it looked like time sped up on the screen.

“.....Are you Discord?” I asked, I mean come on, he snapped his fingers.

“Nope, I would tell you my name but then you would ask around about me and I would get caught by another game master. Time for you to go my good man.”

“Wait wait wait! You never really told me anything!” I balled up my fist and started walking towards him.

“I know, sucks, doesn't it?” He laughed and snapped his fingers again, the world fading to black after he did so. “And and be careful who you piss off, you might just be a target for someone.” He laughed again as I passed out.

I shot up from beside the fire, looking around frantically. ‘Just a dream. Good.’ I looked at the cave wall for a moment and shivered.

“Austin, what’s the matter?” I looked over to Kate, by the looks of it she just got done making the bags.

‘Nothing, let’s just get some of the gold and gems and let’s get out of here.’ I muttered as I got up. This was going to be a long day, I can feel it.

Into the south!

Kate and I..........Got horribly lost. We had no idea where we were in the forest anymore, I think we were walking in circles. ‘Kate, where the hell are we!?’ I finally decided to point it out, hopefully she would say that we were lost and not try and act awesome.

“We....Um....We’re heading the right way! So keep going!” I facepawed and sighed.

‘Fine, jeez.’ I kept walking when it began to rain, I did not mind this, I liked the rain, it was peaceful and slow. To me it sounded like music but by the looks of it Kate thought it was annoying. She used my wings to cover herself up while complaining like ‘Why does it have to rain now!?’ and ‘I blame you for getting us lost!’ to which I responded with a growl. The rain, however, did not last very long and something strange happened, the ground below us had started getting soft.

“Um, what’s with the sand?” I finally got to paying attention and looked forward to see a HUGE sandstorm right ahead of us.

‘I smell adventure!’ I chuckled and she whacked me me on the head.

“No, we are not going in there! Turn around now!” I turned my head to look into her rage filled eyes.

‘No can do lass, there might be a town on the other side of that so I’m going to take the risk. You can get off if you want, brave the jungle by yourself and more then likely get taken by dogs or something. Go right ahead.’ I waited there a while and when she didn't get off my back I kept going forward.

“You better hope you're right...” I grinned at my victory and sped up a bit, maybe I could fly through the storm at a high speed to avoid getting lost in it. I began sprinting as fast as I could and when I got right next to the storm I took flight. Entering the storm stung, but I got the hang of it and kept flying. It was hard to see in here but if I kept flying then we would get through it. I heard Kate say something but could not understand her, the winds of the storm must be taking away her voice.

‘What?’ I turned my head to her to see a look of pure fear on her face. ‘......Kate, what is it?’ She pointed a shaking finger in front of her and I turned my head just in time to run face first into a wall of scales. ‘What dah fuck?’ I shook my head and looked at my impact zone.

“Austin...” I turned my head to Kate with a blank stare. “We just ran into a dragon...” I turned my head slowly to my right to see a HUGE head swing over to it’s side slowly and look at us with it’s HUGE ASS EYES!

“svabol ui nomeno?” It’s voice nearly made me deaf, damn these sensitive ears. “mablik drekimi persvek sia domain?!” It hissed in its language and shook it’s back, making us fall off the side, screaming in terror. “si nishka ti shala wux ekess dolruth drekimi di wer caesin! wux nishka xkhat sia frevor meal!” Ok I understood the words ‘domain’ and ‘meal’ and I did not like that last part. I spun around and caught Kate with one paw, setting her on my back and glaring at her out of fear.

‘Hold on!’ I shot forward as the things head came forward with its jaws open, trying to swallow us whole. ‘HOLY SHIT!’ I shuddered as I HEARD its jaws snap shut, making a loud as all hell sound when it did.

“LOOK OUT!” Kate yelled and grabbed my ears hard, making pain shoot through me like never before. She made me just avoid the wings of the huge ass dragon. “This is strange.” She said as we shot away from the dragon. “Dragons don’t normally get this big, and it’s scales were not any kind of normal dragons color, they were broze like.” Not that she points that out I do remember seeing the bronze colored scales and the ridiculous size of the beast.

‘Kind of don’t want to think about that now, we almost died because of that thing and I kind of want to find a place to land and panic in peace.’ I swear I heard a chuckle, but I could be wrong. We flew for a whole minute before the storm stopped and I landed. I waited a moment before collapsing in the sand and letting out a long and loud groan, cause awesome people don’t scream. Kate fell off my back and shivered there even tho its hotter then the sun here, but neither of us seemed to notice at the time.

“I. NEVER want to do that again! I mean WHAT THE HELL! WHY!” I yelled almost starting to cry. Kate sat up with a sigh.

“Well, no time to cry over it now. We need to find a town.” I kept my head in the sand for a bit until she lifted it up and glared at me. “Now.” I whimpered and got up.

‘You get to ride on my fucking back and I have to walk, I feel loved.’ She giggled at me and climbed up onto my back. I finally got to look around and what I saw just made me mad, the only thing I could see for MILES was what looked like the very top of a castle to the south and two sandstorms next to it. ‘I am starting to really hate this place...’ I muttered and started walking. As we walked Kate would complain about the heat and ask why it wouldn’t rain here. A few hours later the top of the palace grew to show a large light brown and blue castle like place surrounded by large walls. ‘How much you want to bet those walls are going to be stocked with archers just ready to shoot at us?’

“I think you would win.” Kate replied as she leaned forward to get a better look. “What is this place?”

‘Not a clue, but it looks like somewhere we can rest. Hopefully we can get in with me being a manticore and all.’ She patted my head and sat up tall.

“Maybe if you look like a mount we can get in without any trouble.” I nodded in agreement but nearly tripped when I felt something on my tail.

‘The hell you doing back there!?’ I turned my head around to see her wrapping the tip of my tail with some spare leather we had.

“I need to make you look tame! Just calm down.” She sighed and finished wrapping my tail up. It was uncomfortable but I suppose I should get use to it. We were getting closer and I could see some pony guards come to the edge of the wall to look at us. Soon we came to a massive gate, makes me wonder why they need a gate that big, looks like it could let a dragon through. A guard came from a door to the side of the large gate, he was wearing a soft but determined look on his face as he approached.

“Good day to you ma'am, to enter I just need you to sign a form in the office we have this way, we will take your mount and feed and water it while you sign the form.” Kate nodded and reluctantly climbed off of my back.

“Um, don’t force him to do anything and don’t take any of my bags please.” The guard smiled at her and whistled. Two more guards left the door to the side and one patted my side.

“Come on fella.” I let them lead me to the other side of the gate where a slightly larger door was. I could smell fresh water on the other side so my mouth began to water. “Must be hungry, come on let’s get him in so he doesn't bust down the door.” The guard chuckled and knocked on the door. It opened slowly to show something that looked like a stable. Kind of strange ponies have actual stable here, kind of funny if you ask me. I was lead to a stable that was clean and had some water and....Meat? I did not think ponies could kill like that, I have to get used to this world being not-so-peaceful.

“Damn meat eaters...” I heard the other guard say as he closed a small gate behind me. “I know we have to be nice but dear Celestia why do we have to let things like this in our city?” The other guard said something but I didn’t hear it cause they got too far away. I drank some water and ate some meat then began my waiting. I was there a half an hour before I saw Kate being escorted over to my stable.

“...As you can see we kept him nice and safe, we did not dare take the bags incase you trained him to defend your things.” He gave me a look and shuddered, damn right I’m trained, in badass-ness!

“Thanks, come on Fluffy let’s go into the city.” I swear I’m going to kill her for that, or hurt her really bad. The guard unlocked my gate and I walked out. Acting like a good mount I walked over to Kate and licked her on the face. The guard let out a ‘aww’ but Kate had to resist hitting me. “Looks like he missed you.” He chuckled a bit. “Alright, follow me.” She got up onto my back and we followed the guard out of the stable area and back outside to the front gate. He whistled again and the door rumbled. The huge door opened slowly and revealed a huge area that looked like a market, the thing that surprised me was there were all kinds of races here! There were d-dogs, ponies, griffins, DRAGONS! This place was huge and filled with all kinds of diffrent people! “Welcome,” The guard spoke with a grin. “to Oasis!”

Getting some new toys!

Both Kate and I had our mouths dropped in amazement, a whole city filled with different races of every kind! Including dragons! “You have a good day ma'am, keep him out of trouble.” The guard walked back out of the gate and it closed slowly. I walked forward a bit as I was looking around. There was a unicorn selling enchanted items, a griffin was selling things for map making and drawing, and a bronze colored dragon sitting by a large circle of stones built up some ways. This one got my attention.

‘Kate, think that dragon over there is a blacksmith?’ Kate turned to look at the dragon for a moment.

“More than likely, want to give him the scales we have?” I nodded.

‘Ya, might get armored up! We have enough for that right?’ She nodded and pulled the strung up six bags of gold, gems, and scales in front of her.

“I think we could, I mean we have more then enough money to pay for it and then some! Let’s go!” I walked towards the dragon happily when a D-dog stopped us, his fur was the same color as sand and looked hungry.

“Excuse me kitty lady, but could you spare a gem or two? I have not eaten in 3 days.” Bullshit, he looked just about ready to pop. I growled and took a step forward, which made him flinch back. “I’m sorry! I’ll go!” He ran off after that. Kate patted me on the head.

“Good job, now keep going.” I grumbled some swears and kept walking until we were in front of the dragons ‘forge’. “Excuse me?” I could hear the fear in her voice, I couldn’t blame here, we just got away from the father of all dragons after all. The dragon lifted its head and looked at us.

“Yes? nomag si letoclo wux?” It spoke in that fancy language. “Ah, an calti xiekiv, to what do I owe the pleasure?” It got a soft look on its face, as if it was talking to a wild animal and didn’t want it to run away.

“Um, I was wondering if you could forge some of my dragon scales into armor for Fluffy and I.” Oh I must plan revenge for this, SHE WILL PAY! She opened three of the bags and dumped out the scales and some bits.

“Ah, fekiw ternocki, golden scales. This will make for good defence, but they are not the hardest of scales, seltur shar versvesh. For a few bits more and a diamond I will donate one of my scales, tonnilt hak aurix. What do you say? vi bensvelk deal axun?” It spoke while looking at the scales. I turned my head to look at Kate, who looked to be deep in thought.

‘It’s ok Kate, we have more then enough money to pay for this.’ I thought and looked back at the dragon, who was looking at me with interest. I got an uneasy feeling and just stared back when Kate finally spoke up.

“Alright, how much will it cost?” She said reaching for another bag.

“Wait, wer price tepohaic thirkua, all I require is the diamond and I will work for free.” We both gave him a shocked look when he said that. He just smiled at us until  Kate gave him a large diamond. He gave it a look over before tossing it into the pool of lava that was suddenly in the circle of stone, since when did he do that? Kate gave him all of the scales and he tossed them as well. “Your armor and weapons will be done when the sun comes up tomorrow.” He curled around the stone wall and blew some fire into it. I looked up at Kate with a questioning look to get the same look in return.

‘Let’s go find a place to eat, I’m hungry again.’ She nodded slowly and looked at the dragon as we walked away.

“A bronze dragon.... I did not think there were dragons like that.” She muttered as we got a few feet away from the forge. “And what was he saying? Was that something only dragons can talk in?” I nodded, still thinking about what it said. It said something about a price when it said it would do it for free.

“wer price tepohaic thirkua....” I repeated then stopped dead in my tracks. I just spoke with no problem when I talked like that. ‘Kate, I think we need to learn this language.’ I muttered and looked at her, she also had a shocked look similar to mine.

“I think your right. First let’s get something to eat then find someone who can teach us.” I nodded and kept walking around. We passed many different kinds of merchants, some selling jewelry, some selling scrolls claiming they hold ancient magic to reduce dragons to dust. I was more interested in the griffin selling meat products, nice and cooked. I walked over to the stand and took a whiff.

“Ah, your pet has a good nose. I suggest the sand gecko meat, for your beast nose hovers over that the most.” He sounded nice, and he was right about the sand gecko, the stuff smelled like gods cooking!

“Fine, how much?” Kate grumbled and pulled a bag forward.

“20 bits for two steaks.” He held out a claw and waited a moment to let Kate bring out the 20 bits. After he got the bits he tossed me a steak and I grabbed it in my mouth. He put one on a plate for Kate so she could eat it without burning her hands, I do not know why it did not burn my mouth. “Thank you for stopping by!” He called as I turned to walk away.

‘Let me tell ya that steak was cooked to perfection.’ She bopped me on the head with her free hand then continued to eat. ‘What the hell was that for?’

“For almost attacking his stand before I could pay stupid.” She bit into her steak while I walked. After a few hours and the sun starting to go down we found a inn where they would allow me to sleep in a room.

‘We are going to blow through out bits at this rate.’ I mumbled as I fell into the godly soft bed across from Kate’s.

“Oh don’t worry, we could always do street shows,” I glared at her while she gave me the cat person version of a troll face. “Well hey, at least we can get some armor tomorrow, maybe we could even get him to give us lessons in the language of his.” I had to agree with this. I was excited that I would soon be able to actually talk! The excitement kept me up almost half the night but I soon fell to the army that is sleep.

I awoke in a similar cabin style house except this time in a bed. The man from before, the one that threw the brick at my face, was cooking something on a stove that had not been there before.

“Oh goody, it’s you again.” I mumbled sitting up and rubbing my face, remembering the brick made my face hurt.

“You sound disappointed! Come on up to the table, eggs are almost done.” Eggs......Sounded good actually. I removed the covers from myself and got up, I was still dressed in the cloths I was in before arriving in the new world I was in. I walked over to a table that had formed when he said ‘table’ and sat down.

“So why was I in a bed this time and why are you making me eggs?” I asked him as he hummed a tune and set the plate of scrambled eggs in front of me.

“Well you found a loophole in my little contract thingy so you have earned a little more respect from me. I might have to give you a gift when I think of one!” He gave me a fork and offered me ketchup, which I took and put some on my eggs. “Hurry up, for time moves a little faster here so you might wake up before you finish!” He chuckled and sat at the other side of the table.

“You going to tell me your name now?” I asked as I shoved some eggs in my mouth. He grinned and shook his head. “Thought so. How about to explain why you sent me here a little more?” He looked like he was thinking about this when he shrugged.

“Why not? You see Austin I was invited to a game, like a big game of chest, and I needed a piece.”

“So you picked me?” He smiled a bit more.

“Well, you said yes, so I picked you. You could have picked something a bit more awesome but noooo, you had to try and be a smart ass. You could have picked anywhere in the world! But you never did.”

“You never said there was a whole world outside of Equestria! Now I’m in a desert town with a cat lady companion!” I pointed my fork at him and ate some more eggs.

“You never asked!” He laughed. “Anyway, you have about a minute before you wake up, by the way.” I scarfed down the rest of my eggs and glared at him. “Hehehe, anyway, I thought of something I could gift you.” He stood up. “Now this is a one time thing, but if you need something better then your badass mode, just say the three words ‘fuck it all’. You’ll only have like, 10 minutes? So make it count.” He snapped his fingers. “Bye bye!” Oh god dammit! The room blacked out again.

I woke up in the room at the inn we had slept in the day before. I lifted my head to look around, Kate was awake and checking the bags in case someone came up while we were sleeping and took something. “Sweet dreams Fluffy?”

‘I will find a way to burn you. I hope you know that.’ She laughed and walked over to me, strapping the bags to me.

“Come on, we need to go get our armor.” I sighed and nodded. We left the inn, paying extra for me shredding their pillows while I was sleeping. We walked through the market like area again until we reached the gate where we first saw the dragon. I looked around until I saw the forge from yesterday but this time it had a table set up in front of it with some armor and what appeared to be some weapons on it.

‘I don’t think we ordered weapons.’ I muttered and made my way over to the forge. The bronze dragon from before lifted his head off the ground and looked at us with a warm smile.

“Ah you have returned, nomeno ui bensvelk! Your armor and weapons are ready, filki tepohaic promised!” He turned his head to the table and reached forward with his claw and took up a large piece of armor that looked like it would fit me. “This is for the manticore, lesla litrix. I will help you get it on.” I looked at Kate and she shrugged, jumping off of me with the bags so I could get on the armor. The dragon picked up a smaller set of scale armor and gave it to Kate, who put it on with ease. “Now for your weapons.” He picked a sword up carfully by it’s handle and gave it to Kate along with its sheath. “This blade, losvir di ternock, will cut through even the strongest of dragon scale.” Kate looked at the blade with amazement. I’m not suprised, that thing is crafted by skilled hands-er claws. He went back to the table and picked up a battle axe like thing. “This axe is to be latched onto your tail, ekess gewj lae vi aryte garurt.” He leaned over and latched it onto my tail, the thing is it wasn't all that heavy.

“Whoa,” Kate muttered and I just nodded. “How did you get so good at this?” The dragon chuckled at this.

“My mother taught me.” Was all he said. I looked at Kate.

‘Remember, we need the teachings for that language thing.’ She nodded and looked at the dragon.

“Could you help us with one more thing?” I had to laugh at that. The dragon chuckled as well.

“I already know what it is you want, and I do not have to teach you.” We both gave him a confused look that was beyond anything that could be described as confused, such a confused look a kitten would start to cry. The dragon extended his claws toward the both of us and pocked our foreheads. I will not be able to explain what I saw, but I will say this, I learned EVERYTHING! Well almost. From what I could tell we had not learned it all, the language that is. “To learn the rest you must travel to Scientia, the city of knowledge. Here is a map.” He gave Kate a map out of nowhere, how the fuck does he keep doing that? “I will leave you to it then.” He laid back down and closed his eyes.

‘I hope someone steals his table.’ I grumbled and turned to walk away. Kate jumped onto my back and we made our way to the front gate. The guard from before walked out of the little side room and smiled at us.

“Leaving already? Very well, we hope to see you again soon.” He let out a whistle and the gate opened. I swear that whistle will make me deaf one day. We walked out of the gate and it closed behind us.

I took a deep breath and smiled like a mad man. “tairais ihk visek!!!” I let out and charged forward.

One hell of a fail robbery

We had been walking for almost a hour now around the outside of the huge city Oasis and I was getting bored. ‘Hey Kate, how long do you think it will be before we get to test out our new weapons?’ I turned my head slightly to look at her. She was looking at her new blade.

“I don’t know, but when ever we do I’m sure we will mess anything up that gets in our way.” We both grinned at this.

‘Your right. I can’t wait to try them out!’ My tail twitched with excitement, the battle axe attached to it reflecting the light beautifully. When we made it to the south-eastern end of the outside of the city we broke off and walked in that direction. We walked about 3 miles and the sun started to go down. ‘Jeez, I’m thirsty. Kate do we have any water?’ She nodded and reached behind her, pulling out what looked like a canteen. I took it and drank some before giving it back to her. ‘Thanks.’ She nodded in reply and put the canteen back. The walk lasted another hour before a small town came into view,  we could just make it out in the near depleted light. ‘That must be The Pass, let’s hurry.’ Kate patted me on the head.

“You're like some sorta natural born leader or something.” I heard that sarcasme. “Come on, hurry up. It’s colder than the winter out here.” She crossed her arms and shivered a bit. I loved being covered in thick fur sometimes. My fur seems to make me warm but not too hot, I love it! I broke out into a sprint and in a matter of minutes was right outside of the small town, or should I call it a village? The guard out front gave us a look before stepping aside.

“Your lucky, we were about to close entry for the night.” He grunted. By the sound of his voice he was a griffin with a attitude.

“Ya, thanks buddy.” Kate mumbled as I walked past the guard. It looked like a old western movie town, there was a saloon, a sheriff's office, a bank, pretty much everything. I made my way for the saloon, hoping there would be a room for rent. Kate and I pushed the doors open to see only a few ponies at a table and a bar maid, a female griffin. I walked over to the counter and sat down.

“Hello.” She made her way over to us and smiled. “Let me guess, you want a room?” Kate nodded. “It’s 5 bits a night.” Kate dug into one of our bags and gave her five bits. “Right this way.” She jumped out from behind the bar and walked over to the stairs that were just to the side. She lead us up the stairs and into a fancy western style room. “You have a nice sleep now ya hear?” She gave us a warm smile and closed the door.

‘Ok now I can point out the strange things I saw today.’ Kate stopped putting things away and looked at me.

“Oh? What did you see?” I sat down and took a deep breath.

‘Well for one the town was empty as all hell and the bar maiden JUMPED over the counter and didn’t use the little latch on the side.’ Kate stared at me blankly for a moment before picking up our things and setting them by me.

“If your right then I want you to keep these by you, just in case something happens.” I nodded and pulled the bags close to myself.

----The next morning!---

*Thump.*

“Ow! I tripped over it!” I heard a very mad whisper when I woke up. Something had tripped over my back leg and was really mad at that.

“Shut up you fool! You’ll wake it up!” A very familiar female voice called very angry. “Hurry and get the bags from it!” Hehe, hell no. I let out a sleepy growl and leaned on the bags some more. I heard 3 aggravated sighs. “You know what? Kill the stupid thing and take the bags!” AH HELL NAW! I shot up and spun towards the three voices. I saw the female griffin and the other ponies that were in the saloon before, the griffin holding a bow and the ponies holding swords in their mouths.

“Wux re ti itrewicir nomenoi waethi!” I think I said that right, oh well it got them shocked at least. I pined one with my paw and cut his throat with one claw. The other pony recovered and charged at me only to meet my tail half way and he decided to introduce his eye to it. He fell over in pain and clutching his eye. I stepped over him and growled at the griffin. ‘Hah, no running no-” She shot off and broke out of the window, waking up Kate in the process.

“What the?!” She looked at the now two corpses on the ground. “What did you do?!” I looked at her and smiled.

‘Just stopped us from being robbed, tho one got away.’ We both looked out the window to see a bunch of ponies start to gather around the building. ‘Ok there’s a bunch of them, we’re doomed aren't we?’ She nodded then, very slowly, got a devil smile on her face that could make a puppy cry.

“Austin.” I gulped. “Shall we ‘test’ our new weapons out on these bandits?” Oh this cat, she is the daughter I never had  and more then likely would never have gotten.

‘Oh you.’ I chuckled and started running towards the window. While I was doing so Kate jumped onto my back and ducked as I broke both the wall and window and took flight. ‘YEEEAAAAAA!’ I laughed and avoided the spears that were now being thrown at me. ‘Everyone’s a critic...’ I mumbled and landed on the other side of the old western type town. ‘I feel like a cowboy.’ I chuckled.

“You would.” Kate mumbled. “Now what?” She asked as the small army began to approach us with smirks and taunting remarks.

‘Well we do what we planned.’ I crouched down with a grin. ‘Test out our new toys...’ I charged forward suddenly with my tail almost to the ground behind me. A unicorn with two swords was the first to meet my axe, when he held the blades up to defend my axe, I swear, went through them like paper. I won’t really describe the gory parts but let’s just say brain soup was served. Kate jumped off of my back when I hit the huge group like a fucking bull and landed in the middle. She drew her blade and began to hack away at the defences the ponies were trying to put up. Strange thing is that my axe-tail fazed right through a magic shield put up by another unicorn. ‘So I can chop through magic as well? Sweet! Kate try that!’ Kate gave me a side glance then grinned.

“Alright.” She chuckled. She spun around and began charging at a unicorn, who put up a dark colored shield. As I had predicted her long sword went right through the magic and into the chest of the caster. “This is amazing! We really need to thank that dragon!” I laughed at that and nodded. After about a hour of hacking and slashing we had finally dropped their numbers to like, five, 3 unicorns, one earth pony, and that she-griffin with the bow that has been flying and watching her team fall with wide eyes.

“You idiots! How hard is it to kill a cat and a manticore!?” She yelled at the remainder. The others looked at eachother and ran off. “YOU FOOLS!” She screamed and turned to Kate and I.

‘Well Kate, it seems we just beat a small army with little to no injuries. How does it feel?’

“It feels like I just became the richest cat in the world.” She laughed. Suddenly the she-griffin shot an arrow that went straight at Kate.

‘Aww shit, it’s one of those slow motion moments where I have to chose whether to save myself or Kate. I was wondering when this would happen, now I can die happy!’ I chuckled and dove into the path of the arrow, when it hit it just made a slight ‘ding’ sound and dropped into the sand. ‘Well, that was anticlimactic.’ I sighed and looked at Kate. ‘You alright?’ She chuckled and nodded.

“You forgot we’re wearing scale mail armor, NOTHING is going to get through this stuff.” I nodded and finally began to pay attention and glared up at the she-griffin, who, again, had wide as all hell eyes filled with fear.

“Um,” She paused then began flying away.

‘Ah HELL naw.’ I growled and shot up after her. I chased her half way back to Oasis when I finally caught her.

“No! Please! Don’t kill me!” She complained the whole way back to The Pass. By the looks of it Kate had gotten to looting while I was gone.

“Hey Austin! Turns out they hid their loot in some building nearby! Nothing we can really use other then the bits.” I landed next to her and dropped the griffin. “So ya got her, what now?”

‘What else? We think of a fun way to kill her.’

“Um,” The griffin gulped. “Can I go please?” Kate and I looked at each other and grinned.

“Sorry chicken, but you tried to steal from us and kill us, time we got revenge.” The griffin got wide eyed as Kate drew her blade. “Old her down Austin.” I grinned and nodded, holding her down so nothing but her stomach showed. Kate ended it with a quick stab into her stomach.

We had chicken that night, and I loved it!

The knowledge city of Scientia and a few something else's

The fire we had built made that crackling and snapping sound that calmed me, don’t know why but it always has. “We should be able to make it to Scientia tomorrow if we don’t get any more distractions.” I yawned and looked at her.

‘I hope there aren't any sand worm things out here.’ Kate slowly got a glare on her face.

“I thought you said never to say something like that!” I laughed at her reaction.

‘I said for YOU to not to say anything like that, for me it’s different. When I need something to do I say those words, now what way do we need to go?’ I let off another yawn while Kate just rolled her eyes.

“Southeast, it should take us at least 9 hours to get there, 24 if what you said comes true.” I laughed. “Now get some sleep, you're yawning way to much.” I just nodded that time cause if I talked I would yawn again. I laid my head on my paws and allowed myself to enter one of the realest dreams I have ever had.

*ROAR!*

An roar filled almost half of the battlefield as large airships began to enter. “My lord,” A d-dog with a sand colored pelt walked towards a large manticore that was looking over the front of the ship and at the battlefield. The dog dropped into a bow. “What shall we do with the civilian ship?”

“spol astahi ekess z'ar canterlot, ir escort nishka gethrisj mrith astahi.” The manticore spoke as it turned to face the dog.

“Yes my lord, anything else?”

“si tuor voran protection ihk wanotreyxkaiv Kate, EHIS touches jacioniv.” It growled darkly. The dog gulped and stood up.

“Yes my lord! The prinsess shall not be harmed!” The dog ran off and to the side of the ship, where it made a mighty leap over to another ship. The manticore let out a long sigh and turned back to the battlefield.

“I’m sorry.” The manticore spun around to a tall standing being, a human.

“For what? I should be thanking you.” The manticore spoke as it turned back to look out over the field. The human got a surprised look on his face.

“What for? I may have just caused your death by sending you here...” The manticore let out a soft chuckle, further surprising the human.

“Yes, that may be true. But you gave me meaning, not only did you SAVE my life, you did as I said, gave it meaning. If I had a chance to change everything I would just let it happen again.” He let off another soft chuckle. “You did me a grate serves Dark, I could not thank you enough.” The manticore turned back to the human with a grin. “Besides you gave me a chance to woop Jack’s ass for what he did, I could hug you for that.” The human, Dark, laughed at this.

“Give him a extra kick for me.” They both laughed when the ship rumbled. “Looks like you need to get to work.” Dark nodded and vanished. The manticore spun around to the front of the ship to see a bunch of flyers coming towards their ships, lead by none other than a shade dragon. Its shadowy skin made it look like it was nothing BUT a shadow, its pure white eyes burned right at the manticore. It let out a roar and began to lift off the ground.

“nif ixen shafaer wer flyers! si nishka lokri wer sekeolath darastrix!” The manticore roared and began to flap its wings. The ships that had combat abilities opened compartments on their fronts and sides and began to fire compressed balls of wind and sand at the small volter like shadow beings. When the spheres made contact with the rather small creatures they exploded sending sand shooting off like tiny bullets. The manticore let of another loud roar and charged down towards the shade dragon to meet it about half way. The dragon opened its mouth and blasted off a stream of black flames at the manticore. The manticore growled and swung its mace like tail to meet the flame, redirecting it down to the ground where it evaporated some other shades.

The dragon snorted and from its chest tendrils the same color as its skin shot forward to grab at the manticore. The manticore’s wings grew a bit and it shot forward and past the tendrils, right into the chest of the dragon. It released a roar of pain and began to claw at the manticore as the shadowy skin began to bring it in. When the manticore was fully engulfed the world seemed to hold still, the dogs and ponies on the ships paused and watched, as did the flyers. After a long and painful 5 minutes the dragon let out a roar of pain, louder than before as cracks began to form in its skin. After a moment the dragon exploded to show the manticore, its mane now appeared on fire. “ihk wer sands!” It roared in triumph. The beings on the assault ships cheered and howled as they began to shoot down the flyers again. The manticore flew back to the lead ship and landed with a thud. The dog from before lept back over to the lead ship and bowed before the manticore.

“My lord, I have done what you asked and might I say every time you slay one of those shade dragons it is an amazing sight.” The manticore chuckled and patted the dog's head.

“ouithic hefoc shar shar xihuuli coi, plus coi powers ve svern!” It laughed. It turned and watched as 7 of the ships that were at the back of the group broke off and started heading away. It sighed and turned back to the diminishing numbers of the flyers. “si charis fareip vur wer lyriki re kepatmasto, si mi shafaer sia idol...” It mutterede as the rest of the flyers were wiped out.

I shot up and panted, that was NOT like any dream I have ever had. I mean come on, me killing a dragon and my mane catching on fire, that is not very likely to happen. Kate was still napping ON MY SIDE! ‘I’m not a godsdamned PILLOW! WAKE THE HELL UP KATE!’ I nudged her side rather hard and she shot up much the way I did.

“What!? What happened!? Dragon!?” Holy shite I thought I over react.

‘Kate calm your hormones I just woke you up cause I’m NOT A FUCKING PILLOW!’ I growled at her. ‘Now come on, we need to move.’ She took a few deep breaths then climbed up onto my back. We then began our walk out of the town and into the desert, if I focused I could see our target in the distance, the so called knowledge city of Scientia, where we would learn the rest of the draconic language. He had walked about an hour when the ground rumbled. ‘Dah fuck was that?’ I looked at the ground. Kate shrugged.

“Just keep going.” I waited a moment then shrugged as well. I kept walking about 10 minutes and the ground rumbled again, this time more violent.

‘What the absolute fuck!’ I began to freak out. ‘Fuck you univers...’ I giant worm shot up and out of the game and swung around a bit until its mouth faced us, then it roared.

“Austin...” Kate muttered.

‘Yes....?’

“I hate you, SO much...” The worm roared again and dove at us. I ran to the side before it could hit. It borrowed into the ground and vanished.

‘Aim for the head when it comes back up!’ I shouted and took to the skies. After a moment the worm shot out of the sands again and, surprisingly, it had four sets of wings along its body. ‘THIS IS NOT SHADOW OF THE COLOSSUS!’ I screamed in my head. ‘Or is it?’ I turned my head to look at Kate. ‘Kate, when it get’s close jump on its head and stab the shit out of it.’ She nodded. I growled. ‘Time to be a bad ass, like that dream.’ I thought to myself and spun around. The worm got closer and closer. ‘NOW!’ I shot forward, straight at it. Kate said something but the pounding in my ears prevented me from hearing it.

-----Kate-----

That crazy manticore was going to get himself killed! He was heading straight for the open maw of the sand worm. “AUSTIN! STOP! THIS THING’S STOMACH ACID CAN DISSOLVE THE HARDEST OF METALS! STOP!” I screamed at him but he couldn't hear me. I jumped off as soon as he got about 2 feet away from the worm and landed on its head. “AUSTIN!” I screamed as the worm closed it mouth and gulped. In rage I drove my blade into its skull multiple times to try and kill it quick, maybe there was still a chance to save him.

*CRACK* *SLICE* *BLOOD SOUND*

I stopped and turned to where the noise was coming from and saw Austin crawling out of a newly opened wound, likely made by him. “Austin?” I managed before the worm realized what happened and let out a hiss of extreme pain. Austin turned and looked at me with a big goofy smile.

‘THAT! Is how we did it back home on the ranch little lady!’ I couldn't help but laugh at that. The airborne worm began to plummet very fast. ‘Now then, shall we go?’ I nodded and jumped onto his back. We took off and circled around it as it crashed into the ground. ‘So Kate, safe or out?’

“I think its out.” I chuckled. “Why did you do something that stupid anyway?”

‘Oh, just something I did in a dream, it worked didn’t it?’ He laughed and I punched him in the head. ‘OW! Ok fine I won’t do it again.’ He grumbled. ‘Lady luck seemed to like us today, we crushed it right outside the city.’ I turned and looked at the city of knowledge with wide eyes and a dropped jaw. ‘I feel loved.’ Austin muttered as he began to fly towards the city. We landed by the front gates, which we guarded by two unicorns.

“We saw what you did to the sandworm.” The one on the left smirked. “Nice job manticore.”

‘It’s Austin.’

“Sorry, sir Austin. You and your companion may enter.” Wait did he just understand Austin? Austin had the same look of confusion and disbelief on his face. The two unicorns horns glowed and the huge door opened with little resistance. “Welcome to Scientia, we hope you find what you're looking for.” He did a little bow as we entered.

‘Whoa,’ Austin muttered as we entered. ‘This place looks like what Atlantis would look like.’ I had no idea what he was talking about but this place looked like it was built by the best architects the world had to offer. ‘Enough sight seeing, we need to find that dragon.’ A d-dog walking by stopped and looked at us.

“Looking to learn draconic? You have to go to the large building in the middle of the city, there just tell them what you want to learn and they will allow you into that class.” Another one? Everyone here must be smart. Austin nodded his thanks and began to walk through the huge city, we got greetings from everyone we passed and we stopped and listened to a pony talk about something involving gems and souls of creatures. Austin actually participated.

“-and with the right spell-”

‘You can seal the soul of the creature in its body, when it parishes the soul is transferred to the gem and is able to be used to enchant equipment or create spells, correct?’ The speaker looked at Austin stunned.

“Y-yes, how did you-”

‘Trust me pal, I have been at the game longer than you.’ He chuckled. The unicorn speaker huffed.

“Out done by a manticore..... Grate....” He jumped off the stage and walked into the crowd. By the looks of it ponies and other things were talking about their discoveries here. Austin got bored about halfway through the 3rd presentation, something about summoning magic, and we continued on our search for the main building. After about an hour of walking we finally found the building, guarded by......

‘Holy shit, them be some BIG dogs.’ He was right, two massive sized dogs sat at the doorway. The thing is there were no doors, it looked only like a small indent was where the door was suppose to be, and these dogs were not d-dogs, they were like the dogs you keep as pets.

-----Austin-----

‘Um, excuse me?’ One of the dogs looked down at me with a bored look. ‘Can we go in? We need to learn the rest of the draconic language.’ The dog snorted and looked at the other. It looked at its companion and let of a snort. The dog looked back at us and nodded. I must have blinked because there was a door suddenly there. ‘Wow, thanks!’ It nodded as I walked over to the door and opened it. What was inside was a huge empty room with a black dragon in the middle. ‘Um,’ I walked towards it and it raised its head to me. ‘A bronze dragon told us we could learn the rest of the draconic language here?’ The dragon stared at us for a moment then laughed.

“Oh Blaze that hope filled dragon! Very well, I shall teach you the rest of the language.” I got a huge grin on my face, we had done it! And I would be able to actually talk! Like the dragon before its claw glowed and he touched our heads.

“tira coi tawura?” I gasped. “coi tira!” I began flying around in excitment. “ ‘WE DID IT KATE! WE DID IT!’ “ I pulled her off my back and gave her a hug.

“ ‘I know! It is surprisingly easy to talk to!’ “ She chuckled. “ ‘Thanks mister dragon!’ “ We landed in front of the dragon.

“You're welcome young ones, and congratulations to you little cat.” We both gave him a confused look.

“ ‘What do you mean?’ “ Kate spoke. The dragon chuckled and poked her belly lightly.

“The kit, of course.” I got a blank look, Kate just got a stunned look.

Alright, how could this have happened? There was a few weeks ago when we ran into all those other humans, one got attacked by spiders so I had to save his ass, one got attacked by the grim reaper, then we went to the town of Gallopoli, did funny shit to one guy, almost destroyed the place, fended off d-dogs, that one guy killed a dragon at the cost of his own life, then the reaper attacked again, then......

“MANGO JAAAAAAAAACK!”

For draconic translation.

The start of a rebellion PT 1: Austin the bronze dragon slayer

I began to stomp towards the entrance when Kate jumped in front of me. “ ‘Where are you going?!’ “

“ ‘I’m going to find Jack and drag his sorry tail back out here.’ “ I growled and tried to get around her when she pulled out her greatest weapon to all beings, I swear I HEARD the dragon flinch, smart guy. She pointed her demon spoon at me threataningly.

“ ‘You are going to stay right here you blasted cat, we don’t have time right now to go get him. Maybe later cause I have to slap him.’ “ I hissed at the spoon and back up a bit.

“ ‘FINE jeez, anyway.’ “ I turned back to the dragon. “ ‘Thanks for the teachings teach, we’ll get out of your scales now.’ “ I turned to walk away just to see the dragon pulled a Pinkie and teleported right in front of me.

“Hold right there slayer, my teachings do not some free and I do not accept money.” Aww crap, I hope this guy ain’t talking bout what I think he’s talking about. “Oh no, you must do me a favor.” Oh gods.... “I want you to find all 4 of the sandstorms in the Southern Dunes and stop what is causing them, if you do this you will be able to meet the princess. Shiva.” Shiva? That one summoning from final fantasy? “Then you shall see the true harm this place can do.” Aww crap a dark secret? BRING IT ON!

“ ‘Alright, come on Kate let’s go save a nation.’ “ She did a fist pump, that’s my girl! We left the large building while thanking the dragon and the huge dogs. We then began to make our way out of the city when that one unicorn from the soul gem presentation stopped us.

“Hello mister manticore, I would like to thank you for ‘helping’ me with my talk, I would have  it into at least a hour or two longer and let’s be honest it would have gotten boring.” Was this guy for real? I saw pure honesty on his face so he must be telling the truth. “So I would like to enchant YOU!” Wait what? I back up a bit as he chuckled. “Oh don’t worry, I’ll just make it so you can use very minor magical abilities. Please follow me to my study and we can begin.” He turned and began walking away.

“ ‘Is this guy for real?’ “ I repeated to Kate this time.

“ ‘No clue, but hey free magic.’ “ That’s my girl! I taught her many human things so to makes it better AND more fun, so we bro hoofed each other and began following the unicorn. After a few minutes of walking and tripping on a stray book later we finally got to this guys study, and let’s just say this guy made soul gems his life's work. There were flouting gems everywhere! I swear I saw a black soul gem here somewhere.

“Alright, let me find a gem with a big enough charge and we can get started.” He spoke cheerfully, I swear this guy was almost too happy. We waited a moment before he walked back out with what appeared to be a grand soul gem+! That thing was huge!

“ ‘Whoa, that has GOT to have a huge soul in i- Wait it’s not glowing.’ “ I paused a moment before crouching and growling. “ ‘Kate get behind me, NOW!’ “ She did as she was told as the unicorn began to laugh.

“It’s funny manticore, I came here to be successful. Soul gems are a great thing even in a world like this.” Sweet jebus a human! AND he’s evil, great. “I knew you were another human the second you explained soul gems. Everyone thought me a fool after being shown up by a manticore with telepathy.” He hissed. “So now, I’m going to steal your souls, take your hat, and skin that cat for a nice new coat.”.....

“You can threaten my soul, you can even threaten Kate and get away with it, but the hat? FUCK YO COUCH!” He gave me a stunned look before I was right in front of him after dashing forward. I quickly grabbed his face, lifted him up, and slammed him into the wooden floor until it broke. Then I followed him into the basement and continued to slam his face into the floor, which was not made of stone. Before he died of major blood loss and lack-of-face I grabbed the GSG+ (Grand Soul Gem + ) and smashed it over his head. The gem exploded when it broke and sent me flying back up a floor where Kate was waiting patiently.

“ ‘Get him?’ “

“ ‘Yes, and I smell a major shit storm is going to start in a moment.’ “ I looked down into the hole to see a glow coming from the body and the shards from the GSG+ were floating around it rapidly. “ ‘Hey I was right this time, TAKE COVER!’ “ I turned and lightly tackled Kate to the ground as all the floating glowing soul gems flew away from their resting places and into the hole. “ ‘It’s the college of winterhold all over again!’ “ I yelled then the glowing stopped and the house stopped rumbling. I got up and dusted myself off. “ ‘That was anticlimactic, let’s go see what awesome thing I did.’ “ I chuckled and walked over to- wait.

Hands,

Arms,

Not on two legs,

Oh fuck I’m human form.

“WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK!?” I yelled and fell over backwards. “HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN!?” Needless to say I’m pissed and shocked about this.

‘You do not like it?’ FUCK NO- Wait who said that? I crawled over to the hole and peeked down, ignoring Kate’s comments about how adorable I look. I saw a ghost of a d-dog down there looking up at me with a grin.

“EENope,” I growled, my voice sounded deeper. “I like being a manticore.”

‘But how are we suppose to pay you back for setting us free?’

“Um, magic?” I deadpanned. The dog grinned sheepishly.

‘We just thought that you would like your old body more.’

“EEEEEEEEEEENope.” I crossed my arms. “Change me back and give me dah-magicz.” The dog got a confused look then shrugged and vanished. In a flash of light I was a manticore again. “ ‘Sweet.’ “ I chuckled and turned to Kate, who was still pointing out how cute I looked. “ ‘Yes I know I was adorable and mushy but I’m not anymore, let’s get the hayhay out of here.’ “ I grumbled and picked her up, placing her on my back.

“ ‘Well it sure was nice for that bandit to give us a map free of charge.’ “ I chuckled as I licked the blood off my paws. A bandit thought we were scholars and threatened to kill us if we didn't give him our ‘big invention’. I cut him down with mah axe. I opened the map and got a look at it. “ ‘Hey, this map has the storms marked on it.’ “ Kate leaned over my shoulder and gave it a long look.

“ ‘Huh, you're right. There’s one to the north of us and isn’t too far away, about a mile or so.’ “ Easy quest mode activated!

“ ‘Then let’s go!’ “ I laughed and began to ran north (Kate helped). After a half hour the wind began to pick up violently, resulting in a sandstorm. “ ‘FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCKKK! I CAN’T SEE SHIT!’ “ I almost roared as I held a paw in front of my face. Kate said something but I couldn’t hear her over the storm.

‘Why not use one of your new powers?’ Loud and clear, fucking ghosts. I moved my paw and looked at the ghost of the d-dog that was in the house before.

“ ‘How? I don’t know how to.’ “ I muttered and it chuckled. “ ‘What’s funny?’ “

‘All you must do is use your imagination. Roar, and imagine it 10 time louder and stronger.’ And with that, he vanished. Stupid fucking ghosts.

“ ‘Alright, let’s hope this works!’ “ I took in the biggest breath I could and thought of fus ro dah. When I roared my ears began to ring but from what I saw there was a sonic boom type thing, it spreading out slowly from my very being and blowing away the sandstorm in the process. I kep it going for a a minute when I stopped and began to pant. “ ‘Holy dog shit scooby-doo.’ “ I muttered and looked around the now clear area for any signs of a dragon.

Nothing.

“ ‘Really? Nothing?’ “ I facepawed.

*Rumble.*

Fuck.

-------Princess Sapphire Lotis------

“Where did they go?” I asked my assistant, the bandits I had posted at The Pass vanished two days ago and haven’t sent my any rare treasures before they had gone.

“I-I don’t know my princess, all we found was the corpses and griffin feathers everywhere.” He nervously spoke, as if I would hurt him.

I was thinking about it.

“So they were killed? By who?” He smiled sheepishly at me.

“Well, from the three survivors we found they said it was a Bast and a manticore, both heavily armed and magic resistant.” I put my hoof up to my chin and thought for a moment.

“How armed?”

“The manticore had a battle axe attached to his tail and the Bast had a longsword, both able to cut right through magic.” He seemed to calm down a bit.

“And the magic resistance?”

“From what we gathered their armor was made from bronze dragon scale and seemed to be heavily enchanted.” I began to think again when the palace suddenly began to rumble. After a few minutes it stopped.

“What was that?” I glared at my assistant for a moment when one of my guards barged in rather rudely.

“Princess! You must hurry and see this!” I groaned and got up and off my throne to follow the guard. I followed him until we were on my side balcony overlooking the eastern part of the Dunes. “Here my princess.” The guard hoofed me a telescope and pointed his horn directly east. I sighed and held the telescope to my eye to see what he was talking about.

I couldn’t believe it. Someone or something is challenging a bronze dragon! The fools! “Guard!” He stiffened. *Cast a spell so I can watch this without the blasted telescope!” He nodded and conjured up a large floating mirror. After a moment the mirror showed a Bast riding a manticore. “Excuse me.” I turned my head slowly to my panicking assistant. “Are those the two that killed my thugs?” He nodded slowly. “Guard, dispose of him.” The guard nodded and levitated my assistant up and threw him over the balcony.

I love taking my anger out on others.

------Austin------

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU- I got swatted again by the fuckers huge ass claws and hit the sand, stering up some sand so I had some cover for a moment.

“ ‘YOU HAVE TRESPASSED ON MY SLUMBER! NOW THIS WORLD SHALL BURN WHEN I AWAKEN THE BROOD MOTHER!’ “ It roared at me, Kate was honestly riding on it’s back to try and get some scales off so I could poison the fucker.

“ ‘WHY ARE YOU YELLING!?’ “ I shouted at him as I took flight again. He got a confused look on his face, fuck ya cartoon logic.

“ ‘Apologies, but you must die!’ “ He hissed at me and took a huge step forward. “ ‘Awakening me has brought upon the end of your world! After I kill you I shall awaken my brothers and the brood mother, then we shall set your world ablaze!’ “ He took in a deep breath and blew a column of flames at me. I dove to the left and charged at him, hitting his side jaw like a truck.

Too bad a truck would make this thing giggle. Needless to say it still hurt it, it bellowed in pain and swung its head at me. I hit the ground again and shook off the pain and dust. “ ‘Fuggin love this armor.’ “ I muttered as I stood back up and glared at the dragon slowly walking towards me. “ ‘You're going down broski!’ “ I shouted in a russian like accent and charged forward on foot.

Activating badass mode, estimated time of shutdown 5 seconds. Is this acceptable? (Y/N)

N

Time increased to 5 minutes, risk of coma increased to 20%, is this acceptable? (Y/N)

Fuck yes.

I narrowed my eyes and scanned the dragon, muscular system strong but tired, ego reaching god like heights, battle strategy dulled due to a very long period of sleep.

I never saw how easy this is.

At almost RD speeds I shot up its leg and onto its back, Kate gave me a stunned look before I began crawling up its neck. “ ‘REMOVE YOURSELF FROM MY BEING LITTLE MORTAL! HOPE FOR YOUR WORLD IS LOST! GIVE UP!’ “ I landed on its muzzle with a bemused look while it wore a confused look.

“Shut the bloody fuck up.” I growled likely and stabbed it in the eye with deadly poison tail mode. It roared in intense pain and stood up on its back legs, its fronts covering its eye. I dashed around and to its back to pick up kate and get to the ground. When the dragon hit the ground it spasmed for a minute until it finally went limp. Its final words were ‘You shall suffer for this, mother grows stronger...’ it let out a pain filled screech then slammed its head to the ground, dead. I shut down badass mode and fell on my stomach, looking at the corpse with weak eyes.

“ ‘If I ever pay for the things I do then I would be dead by now...’ “I closed my eyes and fell into a deep slumber.

----Kate----

Well, he went longer than last time. The first time Austin told me about badass mode was after he woke up after a 10 minute use of it, he becomes faster, stronger, smarter, and even more deadly. Normally he would never get that close to the dragons face but he did, and it died. “Oh Austin.” I sighed and sat next to his sleeping form. “What am I going to do with you?”

“You could bring him with us.” I paused then shot up, drawing my blade and pointing at the source of the voice. What I saw was three d-dogs and a......

“Airship...” I muttered looking at the fairly large floating ship, the dogs chuckled at my reaction.

“Come, we must leave before the ponies arrive.” Just then another airship flew over the body of the dragon, more dogs jumped from it and tied up the body with a lot of ropes. When they were done they climbed up the ropes and the ship slowly rose, bringing the body with it. I turned back to the other dogs to see them lifting up Austin as if he was a pillow.

‘Which he is.’ I chuckled and then sighed. “Fine, but if you try anything I will make you a carpet.” When he started laughing I got a confused look on my face. “What?”

“Nothing, I just thought that was funny.” He chuckled a bit more before picking me up and jumping up and into the ship. He put on a sheepish grin when I glared at him for picking me up. “Um, sorry.” I sighed.

“Just show me to a place where I can sleep.” He nodded and lead me below the deck about two floors down.

“Here is where you can sleep without being bothered by the crew. Have a nice sleep.” He left the room and closed the door. I sighed and fell onto the bed.

‘Well Kate, what have you learned today? Draconic and to kick Mango’s ass for making me have a kit. Also bronze dragon scales are HARD!’ I chuckled a bit before I fell to sleep.

-----A few hours later in Austin’s point of view.-----

Badass mode recovery system activated, estimated time of recovery is 5 seconds.

I love you recovery program!

….

….

….

….

….

Done,

WOO!

I slowly opened my eyes and yawned. “ ‘How long was I out?’ “ I muttered and looked around to see I was surrounded by dogs. “ ‘.....Fuck.’ “

“What did it say?”

“Get the Bast, she can speak with it.” They have Kate? Aww hell naw. I pushed myself up while growling with enough hatred to make Chuck shiver, of course it would never happen but a beast can dream can’t he? The dogs backed up a bit while shaking their hands.

“No! No please calm yourself! We are not hostile!” Heh, gave them a scare at least. I sat down with a heavy sigh and just glared at them for the 10 minutes it took for them to get Kate. Kate walked over to me, took of my hat, then slapped me with it.

“ ‘OW! The fuck was that for?’ “ She chuckled and put the hat on. Hate, levels, RAISING!

“ ‘For passing out in the middle of the desert and making me have to talk to the dogs alone. I’m going to be wearing this hat for a while to.’ “ I growled then just sighed.

“ ‘Ok fine. What are we even doing here?’ “ She scratched her back a bit then began.

“ ‘The dogs offered us a place to stay and transportation if we do them a favor.’ “

“ ‘And that favor is?’ “

“ ‘Get rid of the sandstorms.....’ “ …....Cool.

“ ‘Weren't we doing that anyway?’ “ She nodded. “ ‘Good, tell them we have it covered.’ “ She nodded again and turned to the dogs.

“He said we have it covered, when do we head out? Actually where are we? No one told me.” She crossed her arms and glared at the dogs, some actually flinched!

“You are in the sand dog dens, directly north of one of those storms.” How convenient. Kate and I looked at each other for a moment.

“So fluffy, how much longer do you think you need until you're ready to go?” I got up with a grin on my face.

“ ‘Right now.’ “

ARGH! Sorry I ended it a bit short but I’m tired as fuck.

The start of a rebellion PT 2: Fuck you I lost a tail

The airship made clicking noises as we passed above the sandstorm, to be honest and looked like we were sailing on sand, it looked so cool! I turned to look at Kate and by the the way she has been acting pregnancy was taking effect with mood swings, no joke she cried before we left and now...

“What the hell are you looking at?” She hissed at me and pointed her demon spoon at me. I quickly turned around and just stared out over the side in a cold sweat.

‘Oh Jack, I’m going to FUCKING kill you....’ I almost growled. The ship came to a stop and one of the lead dogs came up from below deck.

“Here we are, the dragon sleeps below the sands here.” I nodded and turned to Kate, this time with a glare just as powerful as hers.

“ ‘Come on Kate, you get to beat the shit out of some down der!’ “ I pointed a claw over the edge. She grinned like a little school girl about to get a pony and jumped up onto my back. I laughed and jumped off the side, trying to fly slowly so I didn’t run into the ground. We landed shortly after and I looked around. “ ‘Right, cover your ears Kate cause it’s going to get very loud.” She did as told and I took in a breath again.

----Princess Sapphire Lotus----

*ROAR!*

The sound flooded the throne room and nearly defend all who were there. “Its already fighting!? Let us hurry quick! Where did it come from?” I spoke excitedly, I loved watching the previous fight! I should make dragon fighting a sport of some kind.

“The west balcony, quick!” My new assistant said getting up.from the small stand next to me and rushing out of the west side door, myself in pursuit with a few guards. When we got there I didn’t need the spell to see the fight it was so close. I almost threw myself over the edge watching.

----Austin----

FUUUUUU- again. This dragon was BIGGER then the last one! And smarter to, that’s not good. I ran circles around him, having to avoid his claws AND his bucking tail that was covered in spikes. The tail slamed down right in front of me as I stopped. “WATCH IT IDIOT!” Kate punched me in the back of the head.

“ ‘I’m doing the best I can here!’ “ I hissed and started climbing up its tail.

“ ‘REMOVE YOURSELF FROM MY BEING!’ “ The dragon roar and Kate held her head. This dragon is going to have a thwack from the spoon soon. I got onto its back as it began to fly.

“ ‘FUCK! DOGS OPEN FIRE! SHOOT IT! BURN IT WITH FIRE’ DO SOMETHING!“ I yelled at the dogs on the ship, I saw them scrambling around on the ship. Soon small doors opened up on the side of the ship and it began to fire......Balls of sand? When the sand hit the dragon it exploded and sent sand everywhere at speeds that could rip flesh. I had to fly like my life depended on it to avoid getting hit. The dragon screeched in pain, even though it hardly put a dent. I guess some of the sand got under the scales and did some really bad- Oh theres the blood. Blood had begun to seep out from under its scales. “ ‘Awesome.’ “ I chuckled. “ ‘Maybe that loosened up the scales a bit, now we can-’ “ I was cut off by the fucking dragon grabbing my tail with one of its claws and moving me right up to its face.

“ ‘You shall pay, foolish beast.’ “

“ ‘Let’s not and say we did.’ “ Before I could make my escape he cut off my tail with one of his claws and let me fall to the ground. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! FUCKING OWW! DAMMIT ALL TO ALL KINDS OF FUCKING HELL! GRAHHHHHH!” I roared and curled up in the sand. Kate got a REALLY worried look on her face as the dogs kept shooting balls of sand at the dragon, who was kind of bleeding to death.

“ ‘Austin!? Hang in there!’ “ I looked at her for a few minutes then found out who I was going to release my anger on.

“JACK! I BLAME YOU FOR FUCKING EVERYTHING! I WILL MAKE SURE YOU FEEL THE SAME PAIN I DID WHEN ALL THIS SHIT HAPPENED TO ME! YOU HEAR ME YOU FUCKING CAT!? YOU, WILL, PAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYY!” I roared as loud as I could then passed out.

-----A few hours later.-----

I woke up in intense pain and looked around the room I woke up in before. ‘I really hate being underground, there could be spiders and shit.’ One of the dogs I learned was named Kazi, one of the alphas in the crazy ass den, walked in with a sad smile.

“Hello Austin, I have some bad news and good news.” I facepawed and looked at him. “Bad news is we could not save your tail.” I groaned at this, no more awesome poison tail powers. “The good news is the dragon has been slain and we have made you a new tail from the spines that were on its tail.” Oh well thats good I gue- wait what? I looked down where my tail is and saw metal go right up and into a ball that was almost the color of sand.

I had a fucking mace as a tail, sweet. He smiled wider when I grinned. “So you like it?” I nodded and lifted it up slowly, wondering how it reacts to my mind. “I’m sure you're confused on how you are able to use it,” Pretty much! “We recently had a unicorn come into our protection and we asked him to connect the tail to your mind, so it would feel like you never lost your tail.” I grinned wider as I waved my new mace tail thing around.

“ ‘Awesome!’ “ I chuckled.

“Yes, awesome.” He laughed with me.

“ ‘Wait,’ “ I looked at him. “ ‘You can understand me?’ “ He nodded.

“That same unicorne made us be able to understand you.” I nodded and got up slowly, hey being a big ball of deadly fluff makes it hard to get up sometimes.....

By the gods I’m getting old.

“Are you feeling well enough for your last assault?” I yawned and nodded. Might as well break in the new tail, might just be able to break scales.

“ ‘Alright, where is Kate?’ “

“Um, miss Kate woke up this morning and was very ill, did you know she was-”

“ ‘Makin dem babies? Yes, and I am going to brutally murder the father, bring him back to life, then skin him and wear him as a coat made to fit a manticore.’ “ We both laughed, seems he still has a little hatred for cats. (Fun fact: To me you need to be a member from the same species to reproduce, unless said otherwise by one of the higher-ups.) We both walked through the tunnels that if I described them I would not be able to stop. Soon we began to asend in the system of crazy loop-ti-loop underground sand tunnels that I still don’t know how they stand.

“You are lucky this time around, you are dealing with the smallest of the brood.”

“ ‘Lucky me, still going to be a pain in my now-awesome-looking tail.’ “ I growled. “ ‘You guys going to help again or are you going to see if I don’t get my ass kicked again?’ “

“I bit of both.” He chuckled. “If you are failing then we shall step in, and we will take care of this ‘Kate’, she will share a chamber with most of the to-be mothers, they will help her through her time holding a little one.” I sighed.

“ ‘No really, I’m going to kill him, making me have to go through this shit.’ “ I growled again. “ ‘I’m like the very angry father here.’ “ The dog nodded as we FINALLY got out of the cave. The ship that had taken us on our second run was hovering about 10 feet away. “ ‘Need a lift?’ “

“Yea, thank you.” Kazi jumped onto my back and we flew up and onto the ship. “SET SAIL FOR THE FINAL STORM!” The ship came to life.

----Princess Sapphire Lotus----

I waited, that's as much as I could do at this point. From what my new assistant told me there was only one dragon left so the manticore would come back, but we didn’t know when he would come back. “Princess!” One of the guards ran in, a very excited look on his face. “A ship has been spotted! It is the one from yesterday!” At that I shot up and bolted out of the throne room.

This time I was going to get up close. Nothing will stop me from observing my new pet.

----Austin----

Ok, so we had set sail to say and we were very close to the palace, too close for my tastes. “ ‘Can we get a little further AWAY from the palace? I don’t want to get yelled at.’ “ Kazi was standing beside me.

“Why would they yell at you? The way the princess was cheering last time I’m sure she would not be angry with you, she may very well be your biggest fan.” Whoa, awesome!

“ ‘That’s kinda cool, why would she do that anyway? I don’t even know her name.’ “ I mumbled, he just laughed. He always does when I don’t know stuff.

“She is princess of the Southern Dunes, Sapphire Lotus, and she must be happy you are eliminating the dragons and sandstorms.” That seems logical. We got steadily closer until the ship stopped just outside of the sandstorm.

“ ‘Alright, let’s do this!’ “ This ones for you Disdain. “ ‘ LEEEEEEERRROOOOOOOOOOOOY JIIIIINNNKEEEENSSSS!’ “ I shot off of the ship and into the sandstorm right after I took a deep breath. When I was in what I think was the middle of the storm and reared up and let out the sonic roar. It pushed the sand outwards and away from the area. I looked around while I waited, what I saw was a huge ship fit for royalty.

I think it was.

The ground made a sound, I expected a rumble. Right below me something shot up and hit my family heirlooms. I fell over in pain and started tearing up. “ ‘LADY LUCK! WHHHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!?!?!’ “ I cried up and slowly pushed myself up. “ ‘Take it slow Austin, really slow.’ “ I then saw what had almost de-throned me.

A bronze dragon the size of Spike, and it had a very aggressive look but I also saw some nervousness. IT WAS SO CUTE! I tackled the little guy and hugged him. “ ‘YOUARESOFUGGINCUTEIWANTTOKEEPYOUANDFEEDYOUANDNAMEYOUSAMMYSUE! Sammy Sue doesn't fit you though, hows about Sands Of Time? No, might get sued.’ “ I thought about it for a while, while the dragon tried to talk to me through my furry hug. “ ‘I GOT IT!’ “ I set him (Or her) down. “ ‘I shall name you, Bronze!’ “ He was looking at me confused.

“ ‘U-um, why did you wake me up mister fluffy thing, and c-can I have another hug?’ “ Oh my gods it's a he and he is SO CUTE!

“ ‘YES! FOR THE LOVE OF THE GODS YES!’ “ I scooped him up. “ ‘And I needed to stop the sandstorms, when you guys sleep you stir up storms, and a lot of people and ponies don’t like that.’ “ He nodded in my fur. “ ‘So, only sleep somewhere there is no sand. Plus you're going to be coming with me from now on, alright?’ “ He nodded again, this kid is just so damn cute. “ ‘Alright, come on.’ “ I held him close to my chest as I began to take off. When we got back to the ship I had begun to explain Bronze, why I took him with me I do not know but he was too damn adorable to kill, and ‘almost going to cry’ face later proved that to all of them.

“Well, you stopped the storms at least.” I nodded at Kazi with a huge grin on my face. “Let us return to the den, you must expect a summons from the princess soon after.” I nodded then stopped.

“ ‘Wait what?’ “ He just laughed at me as he retreated below deck.

-----A few hours later.-----

Kate stole Bronze...

No really, as soon as she saw him she snatched him up and never let me have him back. As of now he is being held hostage by a bunch of mothers-to-be who thought he was too cute to be seen with a big fluffy manticore.

I was sitting in my room reading a bit about the history when Bronze walked in while shivering a bit. “ ‘Hey little man, cold?’ “ He nodded a bit and extended his arms, which made me gladly pick him up ad set him on my back.

“ ‘T-they let me go, then it got cold...’ “ I nodded.

“ ‘Women have that effect on ya buddy, as soon as they let you go it gets really cold.’ “ He leaned down and nuzzled into my fur. “ ‘I’m not a-.......Nevermind.’ “ I grumbled and kept reading when Kazi walked in. “ ‘A word from you about Bronze I will set you on fire.’ “ I growled. He coughed and thought of something else to say.

“The princess has summoned you, she has allowed us to be able to dock right in front of the palace. Kate will be coming with us.” Of course she would, now she wont let me have time alone with Bronze.

“ ‘Alright fine, let’s get this over with.’ “ I grumbled again. As soon as we were on the ship Kate kept saying Bronze looked way too cute sleeping on my back.

---An hour later!---

We slowly got closer to the palace, right now we were over Oasis, sailing over to city made me feel powerful. We soon got right in front of the huge sand colored and blue castle type thing. “We will wait here for you.” Kazi said as he retreated below deck.

“ ‘Those dogs are really nice.’ “ I muttered as I jumped off the ship with both Kate and Bronze on my back. When I suddenly landed in front of the guards their faces were PRICELESS!

“Excuse me boys.” Kate spoke for me. “We were invited by the princess, she wanted to see us.” The guards, after they recovered from shock, opened the door for us and escorted us through the really fuggin huge palace, it felt like we were walking for hours when we finally came into the huge room that was the throne room.

this shall all be yours.

The fuck was that? I shrugged it off and looked around, right in the middle was a fucking pool with a bridge over it that lead up to the elegant blue and golden throne, where the princess sat staring at us, well mostly me. We approached the throne and bowed out of respect. (Kate just leaned forward a bit on my back...)

“So, you are the manticore that has been slaying all the dragons? And adopted one?” She was trying oh so hard to hide the excitement in her voice.

She will try to trick you.

There it was again. I shook my head a bit and smiled at her. “ ‘Yes I am, damn good at it to.’ “ Kate was about to translate when the princess laughed.

“Very good at it! It was like watching a favorite play! Or a show!” Huh, looks like she got a unicorn to make her be able to understand me. “I must say I’m impressed! I did not think it would be possible to break through bronze scales!” She clapped her hooves together a few times. “So I would like to tell you that you shall be my new pet and guardian!” ….....wut?

“ ‘Excuse me? Did you just say that I WAS yours?’ “ She nodded with a happy face.

“Oh its so wonderful! I was thinking about having a dragon tamed but then you came along and just outmatched everything!” She really expects me to go along with this? I began to slowly shift my face into a snarl.

‘This shit is NOT happening again...’ I growled, no one tells me what I can and can’t do. EVER

She will force you to if you do not leave now, she does this with all of her subjects, she even through her assistant off of a balcony because he made a mistake.

Aw HELL naw.

While I was thinking the princess had noticed my change in behavior. “What is wrong new pet? Are you hungry?”

“ ‘No,’ “ I growled and looked her in the eyes. “ ‘I just feel sorry for you just losing my respect, and your leadership.’ “ She got a confused look on her face for a moment then one of extreme anger.

“You dare deny me?”

“ ‘Not only that, but I am going to take your position. You don’t deserve it.’ “ I growled threataningly.

“Guards! Arrest and execute them for threatening me!” See? She is going to try and kill Kate and Bronze because of what I did!

Try, anyway.

I took in a deep breath and let out a sonic roar, making the guards that were coming at us fly back and into the walls while making the palace rumble. I quickly sprinted back into the hall we had come in from.

“ ‘You two get down!’ “ Kate was more then happy to and leaned down, clutching my fur with one hand while the other held Bronze. I broke down the front doors and, again, scared the front door guards witless. “ ‘TAKE OFF!’ “ I shouted at the dogs on the ship. “ ‘NOW!’ “ They began running around and getting things ready. Just then guards burst from the hole that use to be the front door and began shooting arrows at us. “ ‘FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK!’ “ I yelled as I got to the ship and hit the deck. “GO!” I yelled and the ship began to turn around. The arrows dinged agents the armored sides of the ship as we started flying away. Soon enough we were far enough to not be getting shot at.

“What did you do!?” Kazi ran up to me as Kate and Bronze dismounted.

“ ‘Challenged her rule, she is a really bad ruler. Hell I could do better, and will.’ “ I began walked towards the opening in the floor.

“So what are you going to do?” He asked. I spun around and glared at him with determination.

“ ‘WE are going to take over, no matter what it takes.’ “

WOO! TIME TO TAKE OVER A NATION! I have been up for three or four days straight working on this, I is tired....

Mini-chapter: Dem questions,

Asked of me to be written by JJ, which I finally got down.

The room I was in was dimly lit, I don’t know why Twilight couldn't do this in the libra- Oh wait, fuck. “So, Austin was it?” I looked at Twilight, who had a floating clipboard and quill near her.

“ ‘That’s my name, don’t wear it out.’ “ We both chuckled lightly.

“Yes, well, ready to begin?” I nodded, why she was questioning me I have no idea. I think she did this to the others as well. “Where did you live before coming here?” The first of many.

“ ‘That was a long time ago but I remember living under a bridge in New York city.’ “ I sighed at the memories flooding back into my head.

“That’s horrible! How did you survive?”

“ ‘Awesome friends I made, and taking money from knocked out bullies. That always kept me going.’ “ I laughed, the good always have the most horrible life I guess.

“Alright, now who was your ‘player’?”

“ ‘Kurosawa the guardian of darkness, though he told me to just call him Dark. Much easier to say am I right?’ “ She chuckled and nodded. I love making others laugh.

“Now, what were you doing before you came here? To this world I mean.”

“ ‘I was on my way to a friends house to see the season three premiere for My Little Pony. Never got to see it sadly.’ “ I sighed then smiled. “ ‘At least I got something better right?’ “ She stared at me a few moments before coughing and looking back at the clipboard.

“Now then, have you ever found a close friend, or even a ‘special somepony’ after arriving?” I thought about this for a little while.

“ ‘I found two close friends, the first being Kate and the second being Mango Jack. Now I know what you're thinking ‘why the hay do you think of him as a friend?’ well because he his my grand-kits father AND he can handle himself pretty good in battle, if I didn’t know any better I would think he is some long lost son, but that would be wrong beyond belief.’ “ I burst out laughing at this, I am so fucked up in the head. I just realized I’m having a good time, I have not had time for fun for the past year. It felt good.

“Next question then. What was the one moment where you were the closest to losing hope in The Game?” Being blunt was she? Who else but Twilight?

“ ‘Easy, when I almost let Jack die.’ “ I sighed heavily, not wanting to recall the memory.

“What happened?”

“ ‘I can’t say, please continue.’ “ I could hear the hate in my voice, my authority was coming back, being a lord can do that to ya.

“A-alright.” She gulped. “What was the one singular moment where you were most angry since arriving in Equestria?” Again, easy.

“ ‘When I figured out Kate was pregnant with Jack’s kit.’ “ I growled, that was the most rage filled moment of my entire life, but that was four years ago, I should let it drop. When I growled she flinched back a bit. “ ‘Sorry, please go on.”

“Ok.” She chuckled nervously. “If you could pick one thing in all of Equestria that makes you happy, what would it be?” Oooh, tough one. One thing in the entire world that makes me happy?

“ ‘I’m going to have to go with my family on this one. Truly, the one and only thing that could ever make me smile other than my randomness is them, maybe except Jack, he’s just an idiot.’ “ I chuckled lightly at that, I love making fun of my son-in-law.

“How did you even meet him?”

“ ‘Couple years back we saved a town from an army of d-dogs and that crazy Jon guy, that one was mostly him.” I sighed. “ ‘It’s amazing what a love driven rage can do.’ “

“Ok, what is that thing you call ‘badass’ mode?” If I was drinking something I would have done a spit take.

“ ‘Alright Twi, one, promise me never to swear again, and two, badass mode is a state of mind that allows limitless possibilities. It allows full use of your mind, like in a half a second I could have thought of 250 different plans on how to beat Griffin, although he is a badass himself and would counter all of those plans in a instant.’ “ I laughed, it was true. “ ‘Although it takes a long time to be able to slip into this state of mind at will. I had years of practice being homeless and all.’ “ She got that sad look on her face again. “ ‘Oh calm down, you make me want to cry out of sadness.’ “ She kept the face for about half a minute before looking back at the clipboard with a slight smile.

“Ok, last question. Is there anything you’d like to leave as your ‘Final Words’ for the interview?  Something you want the world to think about?” OOOOOH!! Final words! Must think of something!

“ ‘I might have a few, don’t do drugs, wear a helmet when riding in a bike and/or airship, keep weapons under the BED! Not the pillow, listen to your local badasses for safty tips and role models your parents won't approve of, go see Kightmare’s concerts, don’t mess with my rum, Celt is a bugbear, not a ogre, don’t say Jon’s name three time in a row, AND don’t listen to crazy people.’ ” I chuckled a bit at that last one.

“But, your all crazy.” Twilight commented.

“ ‘That’s why you should listen to us.’ “ I got up.

“But that makes no sense!” I turned and walked over to the large wooden doors.

“ ‘Which is why it makes so much sense.’ “ I opened the door and closed it behind me just as she let out an aggravated goran. “ ‘I love doing that.’ “

Month one: Dragons over the everfree

A month had passed since we left, and good new came from the dunes! My forces had found a city to southwest of Oasis that had been abandoned a long time ago, problem was it was cursed. Thanks to some unicorn the curse was lifted and we were able to move in with no further problems. We were sailing over the Everfree by this point, it got boring quick. “ ‘Argh Kate! Something entertaining needs to happen!’ “ She just glared at me, damn mood swing things. “ ‘Wait, when did we get over the Everfree?’ “ I questioned as I looked over the edge of the ship and down in the dark forest. I really don’t like dark places unless someone is with me so this shouldn’t bother me as much as it is.

“I think about two minutes ago.” Kazi spoke as he walked up and stood to my left. “We should be exciting in about five minutes.” I let out a happy sigh, the story of the blanks thing messed with me so bad. I back away from the edge and laid down on the deck with a yawn. The silence lasted about two minutes before I heard a growl.

“ ‘DAMMIT ALL TO THE VOID!’ “ I yelled as I ran over to the side to see what was making the sound, and if the universe didn’t hate me enough there were three dragons. One black, two blue. “ ‘Fucking blue dragons.......Not again.’ “ I shuddered at the memory as I turned to the crew. “ ‘LOAD THE CANNONS!’ “ I called as I spun back around to the dragons slowly approaching from the forest below. “ ‘And keep Kate and Bronze below deck! I got this.’ “ I leapt off the edge of the ship and fell a few feet before beginning to fly. ‘Might need badass mode for the black dragon, the blue ones should be easier, I just hope their not like that other blue one...’ I shuddered again. The black dragon hung back while the two blue dragons advanced towards me. The first one shot a stream of flame at me, I dove to the side and flew over to its wing. When I got there I used the axe attached to my new tail to chop it off, which was surprisingly easy.

I love this axe.

The dragon hovered there a moment before falling back down to the ground, a sickening crack filling the forest. “ ‘Damn, just like the first one.’ “ I chuckled and looked at the second on, who was now charging at me at full speed. “SIT THE FUCK DOWN!” I used that new shout thing learned and nearly blasted the poor thing out of the sky. I charged forward as it was trying to recover and slammed it in the eye with my spiked ball tail. It roared in pain as it held its claws up to its eye. I lowered myself down to its neck and sliced it open with my tail axe, able to do so by pushing the tail with my paws. The dragon choked on blood for a little while before it lost function to fly and died before it hit the ground.

“ ‘Two down, one to go. OPEN FIRE!’ “ I roared at the ship and the ponies and dogs on board began to load the sand cannons. I turned to the black dragon to see it had already sent flame my way. I did the sonic roar and it mostly kept away the flames, but I might have to get my mane cut where the fire burned it. “ ‘OwowowowowOWOOWOWOW!’ “ I yelp as it began to burn like bleaching your hair.

Shut up,

When it stopped burning I turned to see the black dragon laughing his scaly ass off. “ ‘Oh, you think that funny eh?’ “ He nodded. “ ‘Time to learn a new trick! Eat ice breath jerk wad!’ “ I began to focus, everything went dark for a few moment. There it is. I chuckled and glared at the dragon. “ ‘Ice be your tomb.’ “ I whispered as the dragon suddenly began to freeze over. The cannons began to fire, the compressed balls of sand exploding on his scaly hide. When they had hit the sand shot out and under the dragon's scales, making start to bleed badly. When the ice completely froze over the large ice sculpture fell to the ground and shattered, I did not think it would actually BREAK the dragon! That fucking cool!

“ ‘Alright everyone, find a place to land or something and get the scales! Maybe see if theres a cave nearby!’ “ I saw the dogs and ponies on deck nod and run all over the place as the ship began to slowly lower to the ground. “ ‘Why is it I always have to fight the dragons? I’m not a dragon slayer...’ “ I muttered as I began to fly down to them.

Sorry it's short, next you get a large fight.

Month two: REAPER!

        It had been a 2 months and 20 days since we left the dunes, when I began to keep track I do not know, I might be losing my hyper. Anyway we were just leaving Gem Findo after escaping capture by a bunch of d-dogs the the intelligence of walruses. We were just over to broder when the dog in the crows nest called out he saw something to the north. Kate and I walked over to the side of the ship and began to look around until we saw a black speck that looked like it was coming towards us. “ ‘What the hell is that?’ “ I muttered trying to get a better look.

“I think its-” Kate didn’t finish because a ball of fire exploded just below us, sending back a few feet.

“ ‘Wait a second.’ “ I paused. “ ‘The only ones who like fire that much are Disdain and...’ “ I went wide eyed. “ ‘JON!’ “ I grabbed Kate lightly and jumped back as another ball of fire exploded on the deck where I was previously standing. “ ‘Kazi!’ “ The dog ran up to me. “ ‘Get Kate below deck and lock it up tight. We are going to have our work cut out for us.’ “

“You better live furball, I don’t want to lose the best pillow I ever had.”

“ ‘Fuck you Kate, NOW GO!’ “ Kazi nodded, took Kate, and ran below deck. Just then the robed figure known as Jon landed on the scorched wood where his second fireball exploded.

“Austin! How the hell are ya?” He grinned at me and retracted his wings. Honestly I don’t know how he flys with those thing, they ain’t got skin on em.

“ ‘Oh fine, just trying to do some stuff without dieing by you!’ “ I growled. He gave me a confused look.

“What?” I rolled my eyes and turned to Light, who had a hidden shield up around me.

“ ‘Blast him.’ “ He nodded and blasted a spell at Jon. “ ‘Now can you hear me?’ “

“Eeyup!”

“ ‘Good, now get the hell off my ship before I make you.’ “ I growled again. Jon just laughed.

“Come on! Can’t I hang out with an old friend?”

“ ‘No, you almost killed Kate, TWICE! And I’m not letting that baby get hurt!’ “ I took a threatening step forward. Jon got a confused look then realisation hit his face like a brick, and trust me I know how that feels.

“Oh yea! Jack and Kate did-”

“ ‘Finish that and I fuck you up worse then I’m going to if you don’t GET OFF MY SHIP!’ “ I roared and took another step forward.

“Meany butt.” He grumbled. Pinkie wasn't with him, good I didn’t want him throwing her at me then dieing of over exposure to hyper. “Alright, time to die bud, see ya in hell.” He seemed rather happy about that. He charged at me with what looked like a fire version of his scythe.

“ ‘Nice weapon.’ “ I spoke as his scythe dinged off the shield Light had up around me.

“Nice tail, wait is that a mace?” I grinned at his shocked look.

“ ‘EEEYUP!’ “ I spun around and bashed my mace tail right into his shoulder. He let out a yelp of pain and flew over to one side of the ship. “ ‘Aww come now, is that all you got?’ “ I chuckled. He slowly got up.

“Wait for my arm to fix itself, then I’ll show you a thing or two.” He laughed. I quickly dashed over to him, grabbed his skull with one of my paws, and slammed it multiple times on the side of the ship. When I heard cracking I knew I was about to win.

*Shink*

….The fuck was that? I looked down to see, while I was busy bashing his skull in he stabbed me in the stomach with that short sword he carries around in his rib cage. “ ‘SONOVA- DAMMIT!’ “ I gave his skull one more very hard bash to shatter it. When he stopped struggling I fell over writhing in pain. “ ‘MEDIC!’ “ I called out. Soon enough Kazi ran over to me and began dragging me over to where the the bottom deck was. He was talking but I couldn't hear him, must be because my ears are ringing.

Oh fuck I’m going to die!

My vision faded, and I began to float in darkness. Yup I’m dead.

---Few hours or days later, I couldn't really tell and no one told me.---

Ya know, I could get use to this. I mean yeah it was cold and really dark but peaceful, no troubles or worries. Just endless resting....

I want out.

And as if the gods were listening light began to fill my vision and almost blinded me. “ ‘Ow...’ “ I muttered for the first time in ‘meh’. I lifted my head up slightly to see I was in my room below deck of the ship, Kate and Bronze sleeping in a random chair. “ ‘Aww.’ “ I chuckled and pushed myself up. Remembering I got stabbed I looked at my chest and saw bandages up the wazoo, some bloody and some just wet from some kind of medical cream. “ ‘Must be high or something, it doesn't hurt.’ “ I chuckled.

“Actually I removed all forms of pain from your body, you are actually in immense pain right now.” I turned to see Light reading a book by the corner. “Don’t know how long it’s going to last, but when it does wear off it is going to hurt.”

“ ‘I wouldn’t have it any other way.’ “ I chuckled. Well kick that off my bucket list, meet Death and leave, but I didn’t get the damn cookies.

“Oh and someone left you a bunch of chocolate chip cookies.” ….....I love the gods!