Curiousity Maintentance Crew

by Masterweaver

Rating: everyone
Tags: Random, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Cutie Mark Crusaders
Length: 4935

Something odd at your doorstep? Weird voices in the night? Call the CMC, they'll make it all right!

Published 2012-06-09 04:14:02 UTC
Last updated 2013-01-23 23:00:11 UTC

A Brief Introduction

The mathematical study of fate and its related concepts has not been spread as widely as its practitioners believe it should be, but nevertheless there are libraries which host a basic primer on the concepts which said field of study has provided. The first and most revolutionary concept is the idea of fate, not as an object, but as a force; like heat, fate can be found anywhere in various amounts, often attached to living beings. Destiny refers to acts that require fate to be utilized; technically, any act is a destiny, as any act requires fate, but destinies tend to be far grander the more fate is used. There is also the art of manipulating fate, and techniques to do so are often referred to as altering fortunes. Intriguingly enough, fortune alteration has been in practice long before fate was properly studied, with some individuals being quite adept at it.

One such individual is a certain Princess Celestia, though her talent is more rooted in her immortality providing experience then any natural augmentation. It was in fact she who carefully worked the paths of fate to ensure that not only were the element bearers present in a small town near the location of Nightmare Moon’s return, but that they would be properly equipped and prepared for such a task. Normally, this would have passed without much incident, that is to say, a heroic note in history followed by a denouement. However, Celestia had failed to foresee or even notice one small event in the town of Ponyville which caused an explosion of fate.

This event, like many such events in Equestria, was caused by a trifecta of ponies. Each pony was of a separate breed, and each one rather unique. Pinkie Pie, as she preferred to be called, was to fate what a cheese grater was to water; all that got poured in spun out in little rivers, manifesting in minor reality-warping powers and the spontaneous generation of a sense devoted to detecting the flows of fate. Miss Derpy Hooves nee Ditzy Doo had a time-related ability, capable of seeing and occasionally interacting with other versions of Equestria; unfortunately, these constant visions made her lose focus in more ways than one, although they guaranteed her accurate delivery of the mail. Lyra Heartstrings, the final component, had as her special talent harmonics, extending to even the universal veil of reality. She did not know this; all she knew was every night she dreamed of another world and its inhabitants, with their unusual appendages.

These three mares, on the day of the event, were each of them distracted. Pinkie Pie was busily planning a welcome party for the new pegasus that had come to town to join the weather team, trying her best to think up a rainbow themed surprise. Derpy Hooves was worrying about her daughters and how she would pay the bills, as her current income was not enough to fix the roof. Lyra Heartstrings was busily sketching what she could remember of her latest dream into her diary; she was certain she had found an anatomy book for the creatures. Thus oblivious to the world around them, the three ponies ended up crashing into each other.

The combined unusual powers of the ponies entangled themselves so tightly that when they finally broke apart, there was an extremely large explosion of fate. The entire town was irradiated with it, guaranteeing interesting lives for its population with the exception of one Silver Spoon, who had been working on a dishwasher from the inside and was therefore protected from the blast; her exposed tail oddly enough, was infused with fate and would later be bitten off and become lodged in the trachea of a manticore. Of course, the only pony who felt the blast was Pinkie Pie, and even then she found herself at a loss to properly interpret what her self-dubbed Pinkie sense was detecting; it would be another thirteen years before she could finally figure it out, and of course by then it was too late.

The three ponies apologized and went their merry way, but each of them had been affected. Pinkie gained Lyra’s ability to detect the strange creatures, and she observed them with glee, especially after they all seemed to watch the world. Lyra herself found that she had a sense which just pulled her to places that she felt were important, the result of her ability mixing with that of Derpy Hooves. As for the pegasus, the very minor fate sense she obtained was enough for her to find and rescue an extra-dimensional being, who thereafter assisted her often and became an excellent surrogate father to Derpy’s two girls.

The fate explosion itself, in combination with the arrival of Nightmare Moon, caused Ponyville to play host to a number of unusual events that Celestia had not predicted at all. This was only aggravated by Discord, who practically sweated an ocean of fate and used destiny like a jump rope. Roughly twenty years after the event, Princess Celestia finally took it upon herself to send experts to handle the situation, which they did quite easily, allowing Ponyville to once again become a fairly normal place.

This is not their story.

This is the story of how, roughly three years after the initial event and shortly after the royal wedding, three little fillies unknowingly near the epicenter of the blast formed a very specialized group. They had previously formed a different group, not nearly as specialized, but the results of their constant interaction was a near permanent friendship which would undoubtedly be of great import in the upcoming events.

As the story begins, two of the fillies are hiding personal truths; they are each of them unaware of the other’s secret. The third filly has discovered a piece of information totally separate from the things that the others have not revealed. Her reaction is to panic, and in so doing accidentally place herself in mortal peril.

Moonlight Chases

Apple Bloom looked at the mirror as she untied her bow. Another day done, another lie told.

Well, all right, it was technically the same lie she’d been using over and over and over. Still, as the mare in the mirror faded into something else, she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. Walking alongside the ponies of Ponyville and pretending to be like them was uncomfortable, but she knew they wouldn’t at all like to know the truth. Especially after that whole changeling kerfuffle up in Canterlot...

With a shameful sigh, she turned away from the mirror. She couldn’t stand to look into the glowing red eyes any more, she needed to get to bed. And sleep. Yes, that was probably the best word for it. Sleep. She stretched, ignoring the unusual sounds her body made, and glanced at her rotted hoof. Well, it hadn’t been a bad day, other than the lie, her and her friends had managed to avoid getting into too much trouble looking for their prankster cutie marks.

“...not like Ah’ll ever get a cutie mark. Not anymore.”

She took a wistful look out the window.

Then she took a more careful look out the window.

Somepony was running through her orchards... somepony oddly familiar...

***

Sweetie Belle looked at the mirror as she shook her mane. Another day done. And, hopefully, another problem avoided.

She lived in constant fear that ONE DAY somepony would figure it out. Maybe it would rain and she’d start sparking. Maybe she would get a rip in her skin. Maybe her lack of growth might tip off the observant, or walk in on Pinkie’s experiments with her. And then they’d... well, locking her up was one of the better possibilities. She was terrified Twilight might just try to take her apart in the name of Science.

The rational part of her realized that these fears were ridiculous. Twilight wasn’t that kind of pony, and most of her friends might be weirded out but they’d probably understand. And really, it had been a good day, right? Her and Scoots and Bloom had almost nearly found their cutie marks. Well, Scoot’s and Bloom, anyway. She’d have to stitch one onto her skin eventually. With a shrug, she prepared to power down and translate her memory to long term storage.

She ran a final evening system’s check on herself, checking everything. Then she flicked her ears.

Was she picking up a scream?

Eyes wide, she dialed up her audio input...

***

Scootaloo briefly caught her reflection in a passing window, noticing a panicked pegasus running though a bunch of apple trees.

What was going on?! WHAT THE HAY WAS GOING ON?! She glanced behind her, eyes wide in fear at the ponies still chasing her tail and wielding weapons. Every last one of them had a mask on, a mask designed to terrify with fanged grins and flaming eyes. It was like something out of a comic book, except she wasn’t a superhero...

“Capture the sacrifice!”

That got Scootaloo running extra fast. She had been hoping to hide in the Apple family’s home, but now they were far too close--

Suddenly a screaming black THING jumped out of one of the windows in the home, pouncing on one of the cultists who screamed in unholy pain. Scootaloo barely had time to think, just running faster as she yelled in fear; whatever that thing was she just knew it would come after her once the cultists were dealt with. Lights were already going on in the Apple family home, but one of the cultists tossed a torch through a window with a smash before returning his attention to the chase.

The, the bridge. If she could make it to the bridge...

Her body was already aching from the sheer pressure put upon it already, somehow managed to bring forth another surge of energy. Her head was almost exploding from the pressure, though; if she had been any other filly, they would have caught her long ago. But she was SCOOTALOO, personal friend to the world’s most awesome pegasus and founder of the Rainbow Dash Fan Club, and no way would she OH GODDESSES THEY WERE THROWING SPEARS!!!

“Scootaloo!”

The pegasus filly whipped her gaze to the bridge. There stood one of her truest friends, a unicorn who was waving her furiously over. “Run Sweetie Belle! It’s me they’re after!” She was still too far away, they were going to get her--She skidded to a stop as a spear landed right in her path. Seconds later she felt the hoof wrap around her neck.

“GOTCHA!” The cultist grinned. “And you even brought us a friend for next time!”

“Let her go NOW!” The unicorn filly stomped a hoof.

“Ha, right. Gents, go deal with her.” The other cultists wove around, clutching their spears in their mouths expertly.

“I said LET HER GO! Or you’re going to regret it!”

Laughter roared from behind Scootaloo’s head, the breath pushing over the trembling filly’s mane. “Little miss, you don’t know who you’re dealing with.”

“...I don’t need to.” Sweetie Belle’s sides popped open and two machine guns unfolded out.

Scootaloo blinked, unable to process this development.

Without any other warning, the machine guns activated, sending a volley of pellets at the cultists with a powerful whirring sound. Screaming in shock and surprise, the wounded ponies scattered from the apparition; the one holding Scootaloo balked, turning and preparing to flee.

But the BLACK THING was in front of him, glaring with angry red eyes.

“AAAAA! Take her! I don’t care!” The cultist dropped the pegasus, running for his life. He didn’t get far, though; the black thing bounded after him, and he screamed as it clambered onto his back. Scootaloo briefly noticed how small it looked--

“WHY THA HAY DID YA TRY TA HURT MY FRIEND?!”

--before hearing an all too familiar voice come from its mouth.

“I can’t, I can’t, the master--” The cultist was babbling. “Please don’t eat me please don’t--”

With an annoyed grumble, the black thing backhoofed the cultist and smashed his head into the ground. She hopped off, walking gently toward the pegasus who was still staring at her in shock. Another group of hoofbeats caught Scootaloo’s attention; she turned to see that Sweetie Belle, machine guns inactive but still deployed, was joining them.

“Scootaloo? How are you doing?”

“Yeah, are ya’ll okay?”

She looked from one face to another. Her head hurt, her chest burned, her legs flet like they were made up of bruises...

“...Never better,” she managed weakly, before disappearing from the world of the conscious.

***

They’d taken her to the clubhouse.

“Ah’m sorry Ah wasn’t there ta help earlier. Those ponies set fire ta mah home, Ah had to put it down before it spread.” Apple Bloom glanced at Sweetie Belle. “Where’d ya get them guns anyway?”

“Oh, Pinkie Pie gave them to me.”

“Oh. That’d explain why they’re loaded with gumdrops.”

The two of them fell quiet, looking at the sleeping Scootaloo.

After a short while, Sweetie gazed casually at the ceiling. “Soooooo. Zombie.”

“Ghoul, technically.” Apple Bloom shrugged. “Had a run-in with a cursed village in tha everfree, Zecora managed ta lock the curse so it couldn’t spread from me.”

“You usually look more normal.”

“Mah bow has a built in illusion spell.” She glanced outside. “It uses moonlight ta recharge, so Ah leave it out on the windowsill every night.”

“Ah.”

There was another period of silence.

“....Soooooo. Robot.”

“I prefer the term mechanical life form.” Sweetie Belle gave her own shrug. “Apparently my parents found me while Rarity was off for a year learning fashion... things. I didn’t even know I was a robot until a shelf fell on my hoof.”

“Ouch.”

“Yeah. Pinkie and Rarity were a big help though.”

“That was tha week ya were depressed, right?”

Sweetie Belle laughed. “Ha, yeah...”

The stars watched over their soundless vigil.

“....so who were those ponies chasing Scootaloo?”

“Ah don’t rightly know. But Ah know Ah want ta give them a piece of mah mind.”

“You and me both.” The unicorn paused. “Er, you didn’t mean that literally, did you?”

“What? Hay no! Don’t be gross!”

“Oh, sorry. I just thought... well, um--”

“Ya just thought just because Ah was a zombie Ah’d throw mah brains at a bad guy.”

“...stupid of me...”

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “Listen. Ya’re mah friend, Sweetie Belle, and Ah don’t mind a few zombie jokes here and there, okay? So long as ah get to throw around some robot comments of my own.” Her mouth formed a ghoulish grin.

Sweetie Belle smiled back after a moment. “This is going to be interesting, isn’t it?”

Examination of Truths

There are some universals, no matter what species you are, about waking up.

First, there’s the vital checklist. Are your lungs, gills, or phalanges working? Obviously your heart or central pump is, otherwise you wouldn’t be able to wake up. Most of the autonomic functions are briefly passed over in this stage, if only to check that they’re there. Ironically, this is the shortest part of the process, despite it being the most (as punsters say) vital.

Next comes the senses check. Can you feel? Yes. Can you hear? Yes. And so on. Traditionally Taste is skipped entirely, and sight only gets a brief check to make sure it’s there before shutting down again. This is most likely to prevent the rest of the mind from panicking just yet.

After this comes the first step that takes longer than an eighth of a second. This step is also often ignored by insects and the like, who run purely on instincts and don’t have time to bother making sure they have all their limbs. Why exactly this step takes longer than the previous, more important steps, is unknown; most likely, however, it is because the first two are only required to make sure the individual is functioning, while this one is more pertinent if the creature wishes to DO anything. After all, having a body, while not universally required, is often beneficial.

Then, and only then, does the mind unfurl itself, crawling up the various channels of logic it utilizes from the instinctual to the subconscious to the ego and then finally to full awareness. Depending on the signals sent from the first three stages, as well as how the ego and subconscious responds, this can range anywhere from half a second to a full two minutes. Some species have even managed to craft it into an artform, keeping from full consciousness for as long as they can and developing tools to assist in preventing wakefulness. In fact, Scootaloo’s idol had managed the exceedingly rare feat of being able to range anywhere on the wakefullness spectrum, choosing to either snap to alertness or lounge about for a full half hour as she saw fit.

Scootaloo herself only took .7622 of a second to wake up once the sun hit her. This fact was not unnoticed by her friends, but was quickly superseded by the loud screaming that burst from her throat.

***

“Scootaloo! Calm down, it’s all right!” Sweetie Belle moved forward, wrapping her hooves around the screaming filly. “We’re here!”

“----AAAAAAAOHCELESTIA OH CELESTIA IT WAS...” The pegasus blinked as she took in the world around her. The treehouse, familiar surroundings... Her breathing slowed down, just a bit. “It was... it was a nightmare, wasn’t it?”

Apple Bloom coughed, glancing up at her bow.

“...Wasn’t it?” Scootaloo looked from her to the unicorn hugging her tightly. “Guys, you’re... you’re scaring me--”

“Fer tha record, Ah didn’t know about Sweetie Belle neither. Not till last night.” Apple Bloom grinned uncomfortably. “And Ah’m pretty sure she didn’t know bout me... And those other ponies, well, they were outta tha blue.”

Scootaloo stared at her, wide eyed. Her mouth began to open and shut.

“Um... we’re still friends, right?” Sweetie Belle leaned back. “This, um, doesn’t change anything? Please don’t freak out.”

“....gnh?”

“She’s freaking out,” Apple Bloom deadpanned. “Great, and here Ah thought looking normal would keep her from--”

“I don’t think it’s you. It’s probably those... whatever they were chasing her. Let’s just give her space--”

“--today’s a school day, we can’t just leave her here--”

“Wh...wh...” The pegasus shook herself. “School day...?”

The unicorn let her go, giving her an odd look. “Yes. It’s thursday remember?”

“We’re still worried about school?”

“Um... Yeah?” Apple Bloom tilted her head. “What’s weird about that?”

Scootaloo stared at her.

The sheer mundane nature of the concern smashed through the wild night’s memories like a pellet that had somehow managed to make a sonic rainboom. For a moment, the filly had to pick up the pieces and reassemble them, before stepping back in her mind to view the whole situation. Then, as she noticed the stares, she tried to figure out what she was going to do next....

It was too much.

Scootaloo burst out laughing, far too high. It was too much. Too much too much too much too much too much too much too much too much too much too much--

A yellow hoof slapped her. “GET AHOLD O’ YERSELF! Ah ain’t going to let one of my friends go crazy!”

“APPLE BLOOM!” Sweetie Belle grabbed the offending pony and pinned her to the ground. “What are you--you don’t just go around hitting ponies!”

“I... no.” Scootaloo rubbed her face. “I needed that... She’s, she’s good.” The pegasus waved vaguely. “But, I mean, wow....”

She paused.

“...Okay, stupid question, but--”

“No, yer not going to become a ghoul.” The earth pony rolled her eyes. “Zecora gave me mah potion fer the month. Oh, right, without tha potion tha curse spreads ta whoever I touch.”

“Oh, so Zecora knows about you?” Sweetie Belle released her friend, backing off.

“Eeeeyup. AJ and Fluttershy too.” Apple Bloom stood, shaking her head. “Fluttershy was the one who carried me home that night.”

“Wait wait wait, time out.” Scocotalo crossed her forehooves. “Fluttershy touched you? Is she a zombie?”

“Nah, Element Bearer. Curse couldn’t touch her, or at least that’s what Zecora thought.”

“...Huh.” Scootaloo turned to Sweetie Belle. “And, um, you’re a robot.”

“Mechanical life-form.”

“Right, sorry. How’d you find out?”

“Rarity accidentally dropped a bookshelf on my hoof.” Sweetie Belle cringed. “It hurt a lot, especially since my skin was torn off...”

“Oh wow. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to--”

“It’s okay, we’ve gotten over that.” The unicorn waved a casual hoof. “And Pinkie, well, she came over with a bunch of cupcakes and patched me up. Apparently she’d known all the time...”

“Right, we’ve told ya our secrets, now ya’ll tell us yers.” Apple Bloom gave Scootaloo a pointed look. “What the hay was with them ponies last night?”

“How should I know?! One minute I’m... well, sleeping, and then I’m in this sack!” The pegasus waved her hooves in the air. “I managed to break free and ran. For, you know, the police. I wasn’t scared!” she added hastily, “I just wanted the proper, you know, police ponies to...”

The other two were completely deadpan.

“...Okay, you know what? Fine. I was scared. I was terrified. But you can’t tell ANYPONY.”

“Fine by me,” Apple Bloom agreed.

“Already forgotten!” Sweetie Belle announced. “But how did they break into your home?”

Scootaloo held up a hoof.

Then she looked at the two of them. One was a robot. The other was a zombie. And they were both her friends.

With a sigh, she deflated. “Okay, um, can you keep a secret?”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gave each other a look. Their answer was a simultaneous “Yes.”

“Oh, right. Well.... you see, um...” The pegasus rubbed the back of her head. “The thing is, well, I don’t, in the technical sense, actually.... I don’t have a home pleasedon’thateme.”

***

Silence is an interesting beast. It is not truly a lack of sound, but more a lack of communication. And even that is incorrect, as nonverbal communication fills the world of silence. Silence can descend on any individual or group without warning. Experts in the study of silence have concluded that its purpose is to allow those involved to process some new piece of information. They have also concluded that silence is boring to outsiders.

For this reason, the narrative shall be moved away from the three filles who were, currently, sharing secrets with each other, and instead focus on the purple unicorn who had just made what in retrospect would be considered the worst mistake ever. Namely, she has agreed to attend a Party. Not simply a party, but a Party Planned by the Pony Proletariat of Perpetual Positivity. It should be noted that this in and of itself is not a terrible decision, and in fact many ponies would agree to attend; however, because of this particular unicorn’s connections, she should really have stayed at home at that time.

Or at least have taken the dragon. His actions would become significant only after town hall exploded, but they also started at this time.

Filler Fillies

“So wait, what’s this party for?”

Pinkie grinned the manic grin that spoke only of glee. “Why, silly filly, don’t you remember? It’s...” She raised her hoof. “SPIDER! APPRECIATION! DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!”

“...Spider what?”

“Spider appreciation day. In actuality the holiday was commissioned by Baron Warpweave in an attempt to show off his large collection of foreign arthropods during the early neoclasssical period, and was originally named The Festival Of The Small, but after a visiting noble was stung by a particularly poisonous scorpion the holiday became much more low key. However Celestia has yet to see it revoked, mostly due to the paperwork it would take to get rid of a celebration founded during that time, and while it remains obscure it is still technically a holiday though it has been simplified from its original format.”

Twilight Sparkle blinked. “....you’ve been reading my ‘Holidays through the ages’ collection haven’t you?”

“Maaaaaaaaybeeeeeeeeeeee.” The party pony gave her a shifty look. “I have to get inspiration somewhere.”

"And... you honestly think that ponies would attend a party for spiders... in the middle of spring."

"Fluttershy said she's coming! Which means all her stal--I mean, admirers will also be there. That's five stallions and three mares already!"

"...I don't even want to know how you know that."

The party pony grinned mischievously. "You're up to three stallions and four mares."

"LALALA THIS IS ME PRACTICING MY SINGING FOR SCIENCE LALALA LA LAAAAAA!"

"Suit yourself." Pinkie shrugged. "But it would be weird for poor poor Fluttershy to be all alone in a room with her admirers, various arachnids, and all that luscious cake. Who knows what could happen... if they realized... what they had...?"

The unicorn shuddered. "PINKIE! Who are these ponies?! We, we have to report them!"

"I Pinkie promised not to reveal their identity. Besides, they're harmless. They're all too shy to make a move."

The librarian stared at the grinning baker, horror plain on her features.

"......AGH! FINE! I--I'll be there, just to make sure nopony hurts her."

Instantly Pinkie squealed "THIS IS GOING TO BE AWESOME! Now your stalkers and Fluttershy's stalkers will mix and you won't be able to tell which is which!"

"PINKIE! STALKERS ARE NOT A GOOD THING!"

"Oh, everypony has stalkers. They're harmless." The party pony giggled. "I have twenty three, and the best part is NONE OF THEM know I know they're following me."

Twilight stared at her for a long while.

"....you're just making up the stalker thing, aren't you."

"DUH!"

"Why would you do that?!"

"To make you feel more attractive!"

"I...." The unicorn blushed. "What?"

"Twilight, Twilight, Twilight.... Twilight. Twily. Twi. Lighter. Sparky. Sparkler. Twispark. Sparky Twily. Lady Twilight Born of the Moon's Sparkle, archmage of Ponyville and purveyor of ancient tomes--"

A purple hoof was shoved into her mouth. "Pinkie? Could you get to the point please?"

The party pony nodded. "Oofhay Hyli, Hi'll hoph."

Reluctantly, the librarian allowed the baker to speak again.

"My point, Twilight is simple: There is a madness to my method, but there is also a method to my madness."

"And what, praytell, would this method be?"

"Oh, I'm just trying to boost this thing to a thousand words."

The unicorn gave her friend a wary look. "You're... trying to say a thousand words?"

"No, I'm trying to make sure we have at least a thousand words before we hit publishing."

"...are we in some sort of... I don't know, serial reality novel you're writing?"

The baker opened her mouth, closed it, tilted her head, and then laughed out loud. "HAHAHAhahaHA! YES! That actually works! I'm totally using that excuse from now on."

"So all this time you've been behaving weird for a book?!"

"No, I behave weird because I'm me. I've only just started writing a book." She leaned in conspiratorially. "Guess who the mane characters are."

"...Us six? The girls, I mean."

"I wish! No no no, I'm aiming for a younger demographic."

"...the cutie mark crusaders?"

"Bingo!" Pinkie bopped Twilight's muzzle. "Right on the nose!"

The unicorn scrunched up her face for a second. "But.... what does this conversation have to do with them?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! It's filler!"

"So you're saying I'm filler."

"Well, filler that three stallions and four mares are very attracted to, but yes."

Twilight blanched. "You said you made that up!"

Pinkie grinned. "I did! That doesn't mean it's not real!"

"Pinkie, you can't just imagine up things into, into reality! And that's unrealistic anyway, why would more mares be attracted to me then stallions?!"

"Don't ask me to explain the demographics, I just write the story."

The librarian took a deep breath, ready to issue off another retort... when she took a moment to look at the grinning pink face in front of her. Something about the situation seemed off, something unusual. She'd ignored the feeling because of who she was talking to, but now, as she ran through the conversation in her head, she realized that it was more then the typical headache she got when dealing with Pinkie Pie.

Her mouth formed into a sly grin. "Has this whole conversation been an elaborate prank, miss Pie?"

"...darn." Pinkie pouted. "I didn't even get to the punchline."

Twilight rolled her eyes, but lifted up the party pony's chin. "Well why don't you go ahead and say it? All that work and no reward doesn't seem fair to me."

"What, out of context?"

"Just try it."

"...Okay. Ahem: 'Oh what tangled webs we weave when we write without love!'"

The two of them stared at each other for a long moment.

Then, finally, Twilight giggled. "Webs! Spider appreciation day! I get it!"

"You... do?"

"Ye-he-he-es! Hahaha! Tangled webs, that is hilarious!" The librarian snorted.

"I... I knew you'd like it! I crafted the joke specifically for you!" Pinkie bounced up and down. "You know what this calls for? A Twilight-Liked-My-Joke party!"

"But aren't you throwing that spider appreciation day party?" Twilight asked. "It seems like an awful lot of effort to buy all that stuff you have in your saddlebags and not throw the right party."

"Oh... fine. I'll throw that instead!" The baker bounced away. "Tomorrow, don't forget! This is going to be funfunfunfunFUN!"

Across the street, a stallion watched the pair separate. He took a moment to glance down at the paper, memorizing the lunar patterns predicted for the week.

"Hmmmm. Fun indeed..."