Rainbow Dash's POV
"Hey, girls, Happy Hearth's Warming Eve!" Twilight Sparkle wishes her friends, as they all visit her in Canterlot. Unfortunately, the lavender unicorn has moved temporarily to Canterlot the month before, to meet her parents, brother and sister-in-law for Lunamas and Hearth's Warming Eve. But it doesn't stop US from visiting her. Even though I'm the most awesome of us all.
"What are you going to get Apple Bloom for Lunamas, AppleJack?" Rarity asks her best friend, as she sips from a lady-like cup of tea. She levitates the saucer and cup back down onto the table, with her magic, and hungrily nibbles onto a slice of home-made cheesecake - which Pinkie Pie has recently brought from SugarCube Corner. AppleJack replies, with her eyes shining, and between mouthfuls - much to Rarity's disgust. "Ah'm gonna buy the entire Apple family one of 'em Apple Ipods! Yer have no idea how much we've all wanted one of 'em babies! Yerself?"
This conversation lasts a few minutes, while us other ponies prepare for Lunamas in our own ways. Pinkie Pie is still "taste-testing" candy canes and other sugary Lunamas sweets, while Twilight is staring out the window at the beautiful clear skies, white snowflakes of the exact same colour falling daintily to the ground. Fluttershy somehow doesn't get the spirit of Lunamas, or as Dad says "Christmas", (which I think has a cooler and better ring to it) , and she is spilling tears like a lame cutesy-wootsy kitten crying over her milk.
"Oh my...um...I'm sorry," Fluttershy writes, her tears smudging a few of the words she has written. "I didn't mean to make you sad. Please...can...can you forgive me? I might give you...oh my...I'll give you a cute little bunny." She mails her letter, and stamps it, down the "Brony" mailbox. She slowly trots back home, drying her tears and whispering something to herself completely inaudible to anypony else.
When she returns home, she is greeted with great news. This legendary "Send-To-Bronies" mailbox is working out well, as it proves itself to be genuine. Fluttershy's face is warmed up with a bright smile, and her adorable eyes light up with excitement. She grabs her return envolope, and reads out, so everypony could hear, "Aw, Fluttershy, don't cry. I know you meant well. Oh my...did you know...I'm just like you...um...my name...is Audrey....ANDREW....my name is Andrew, and some people...I mean, some ponies...call me...Fluttershy...."
Twilight rolls her eyes, and groans, "Fluttershy, calm down. This is obviously not real! Bronies don't exist. Somepony is paid to write ponies these letters and fool them into replying! Besides, look at the format of that letter. It's the exact writing of a pony. Humans write with their "fingers" and "thumbs". The Princess told me these things. She also included in her letter that bronies are said to be real, but it's all a old mare's tale!"
She continues talking, but nopony listens to her sermons. Fluttershy is beaming from ear to ear, and her heart is warmed at once, a surge of happiness running up her spine. She sits down, and grabs another quill and parchment, and dipping the quill in a bottle of ink, she writes a reply note, this time, with clearer hoof-writing. "Oh my, dear Andrew..."
In the corner, I lay, warming up beside the fireplace like a kitten, my back turned so nopony could see my face. Hearth's Warming Eve...what the hay is so special about Hearth's Warming Eve? I am usually so excited about this day...but...today I feel empty. Lonely.
I don't turn around, but I prick my ears to the sound of Rarity and AppleJack laughing and chatting about filly-friends and colt-friends over a cup of tea and cheesecake, to the sound of Pinkie Pie decorating the Lunamas tree, to the sound of Fluttershy whimpering and wincing with happiness, and to the sound of Twilight Sparkle's annoying voice. They're all happy. AppleJack...MY AppleJack...has dumped me for Rarity, and even though everypony calls me crazy, I think I've heard their constant orgasms more than once. Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie are always happy, and Twilight has a spark of love in her heart, ready to be ignited by each and every of her amazing friends' kind loving smiles. But about me...I..I don't know.
Twilight finally stops talking, and she turns to me, raising a puzzled eyebrow at me, asking, "Is everything okay, Rainbow? You've been extremely silent since this morning. I can get you a mug of warm hot cocoa, if that's fine by you --" As she turns to go, I mutter, in a shaky voice, "I'm not thirsty. I just...I don't understand Hearth's Warming Eve."
"I think you do, Rainbow Dash," Twiligt Sparkle says, as she places a hoof on my shoulder. She expects me to turn around, and finally, I do. I lift my head out of the darkness of the corner, and I turn to her, my diamond orchid eyes meeting hers. She yells, though it is a silent yell, but she gazes upon my tear-stained face with shock. "What's wrong, Rainbow?" she asks, deep concern and sympathy in her voice. A look of sheer epiphany strikes Twilight's visage. A single tear falls from each beautiful, gem-like eye. A warmth like no other settles itself upon my heart, but I can't help but fall back onto the wooden floor, staring out the window, at the beautiful snow as each bit gracefully drifts off to the ground. The lavender unicorn tries again, "Do you...miss Canterlot, Rainbow?"
"Fluttershy is best pony," Fluttershy reads out, her heart striking with love and happiness. "Oh my...I do like your mane too...Fluttershy. Oh my...and...my name's not Andrew...OR Audrey...my name is....Buttershy...I..um...Can you be my special somepony....even though...um...it's not Hearts and Hooves Day...um...it's a custom for....ponies in Canterlot...and...and bronies like me...to...um...oh my....have somepony to love and tolerate..."
Fluttershy squeals out loud, and unlike her shy nature, she jumps up and down, her hooves barely visible in all the action they're doing. She quickly sits down, calls for another parchment, and she scribbles down her words as fast as she can, in all her excitement. I roll my eyes, and settle down, sadly, once more.
Rarity waves a hoof to me, and shouts, across the room, "Darling! AppleJack has finally been a darling, and helped me make this beautiful Lunamas dress! Oh, it is fabulous, don't you think? Come here, Rainbow Dash, I simply can't wait to see how it looks on you!"
"I don't featherin' care!" I shout, turning around, and crossing my hooves. Why doesn't anypony understand me? Just because I'm tough, unsensitive and tomboyish, doesn't mean I don't have a heart. What makes them think that they can tease me all they like just because I'm tough? I do have a heart, a heart of silver, with many scratches and scars sliced open, with golden fluid flowing out and mixing with my emotion-mixed dark red blood.
If only anypony could see under my awesome daring grin, or my determined orchid eyes. But they couldn't. They seem to have forgotten all about me, and they only know me from the outside - even though they seem to know everyppony including Fluttershy inside-out. I make a hoof gesture for my "friends" to trot away, and leave me alone. At least Twilight is understanding, but I know she is gonna be back for a lame old lecture on depression or two.
Dresses...Parties..."Kind" words...I don't need that...I don't need all of that shit. Yet my heart yearns for love. I can't bear it anymore. I've heard of suicide, I've heard of killing yourself, but I remember what my boring psychologist tells me about this trash. I groan, and trot slowly into my hotel room, and fall back onto my bed, before bolting my door. Nopony must know....Telling myself this, I creep into my closet, and search for something. Finally, my hooves catch hold of a tiny piece of paper, and I lift it out into the open air.
It is a photo. But not any photo. It is a photo...of my Dad. I hug it to myself close, and all my troubles seem to go away. I wish I could just visit him one more time...Shaking my head, I put the tear-stained photo back in its place deep inside my closet. Yet the photo remains deep inside my heart. Rainbow Dash Dash Rainbow Dash ""
"Uh...Princess Celestia..." I ask, not showing any fear of being banished to the Everfree Forest or the moon. "I...I was wondering...if I...uh..." I look up to her kindly face, the exact face of a loving mother, and all my hidden emotions flush out at once. Bravely, I directly ask, "I'm missing my Dad. Living without somepony you love...is...just not cool." I look up to her once more, my eyes getting lost in hers. "I want to visit him again."
This startles the guards, and they point their horns at me, beckoning me to leave. But Celestia orders them to stop, and she calls me to her. Using my wings, I make my way to her, and she strokes my mane - as if I am a little filly. I don't like this, but acting the "Miss Nice Filly" might get me closer to seeing my Dad. Trying my hardest not to complain or make a face, I ask her, "Can...Can you send me there?"
"I don't care!" I shout, once more. "Let me go! It's where I belong! It's where I'll be TWENTY percent cooler than ever in my life. I can't stand this place without my dad anymore! It's been five years! I'm old enough to do what I want! I can make my own AWESOME decisions, Twilight! Back off, I don't give a flying feather! I need to see him!" I bolt into the portal, before the others can stop me. They both shout my name, but I cannot hear anything apart from my own yells and shouts. "Don't worry, Dad! Your Little Dashie is comin'! Hang in there!"
I land face-first into the paved ground, and I can hardly remember anything from the past events. I push myself up with my wings, and set off to find my dad.
Hours and hours, days and days...weeks and weeks, but I still can't find the one I love so much. Yet it doesn't hit me, that not all creatures can live forever - and it especially never hints to me that maybe I am being a little too overprotective...and that it is time to let go.
Finally, I come across a tall green hill. There is an awkward-looking stone slab sticking out of the ground vertically, and I decide to come there for a rest. The sky is already darkened with nightfall, and with the swarms of dark rainy clouds like a whole army of locusts above a field. Rain starts pouring, and I stick my tongue out, to catch some of the water falling upon my face. But I can't hold on anymore. My parched throat is hardly replenished by the tiny drops of rain, but it'll have to do. I sigh, and fall back upon the stone slab, my legs dangling in the air.
I don't know what makes me turn around this moment. My eyes are stung with bitter tears of desperation, and I can't quite make out what it said on the stone. But at any rate, it is my natural reaction to see the words written in ghastly black letters. That name. Why so familiar? Suddenly, memories flood through my mind. Dad, it's you! It's really you! But as I hug the stone, I finally realize something. No...I tell myself. Dad...you're....gone?
A tear falls down from my eye, glistening like a diamond among the crystal drops of morning dew among the grass. The rain is drenching my mane, the thunder almost deafening my ears, which are now drooped down, and my eyes produce rain of its very own. I feel torn apart, but I can't feel my hooves, ears or mane at all. My glass heart shatters, and I scream out to the heavens in agony and pain. Where is everypony when I'm suffering? Where is my dad? Why can't I see him again like I was begging to since I was fifteen? My head drops low, and as I see my last lightning flash before my eyes, I fall onto the green grass. I want to die. I don't want to live. As I shakily touch the top of the gravestone with my left hoof, cruel memories torment me once more. "You mean...." The words can hardly escape my dry strangled throat, which is getting stabbed constantly by my pain, yet at the same time, torn apart from my anger and grief.
"I suffered all this just to see you sleep under the hill where you taught me how to fly?!"
________
I scream, and sit up, upon my bed. I look around, and I see an unfamiliar sight. Curtains, machines, beds, bedsheets, pale blue walls and posters concerning medical things...I could tell I am in a hospital. There is a cast on the side of my hoof, and I slowly try to open it and examine the deep wound inside - but the cloth clings on to the blood dreadfully. "How did --" I ask, in confusion. "Where's dad? The rain? The lightning? The thunder? The....the grave?!"
I see the blurry vision of a particular lavender unicorn in front of my face. "Oh, I hope she's okay," she mutters, with worry and anxiety almost blinding her eyes. As I open mine slowly, there is a loud cheer, which somewhat startles me a little. I sit up fully, and I do not believe my eyes. "Guys? What -- what are you doing here?" I ask, my face written with the dumbfolded emotion I am feeling right now.
AppleJack takes pride in explaining. She puts a hoof around Rarity, (whom I still consider her filly-friend) and says, "Shucks, Rainbow. We're yer best friends. We were worried fer ya alright, and Ah have ta admit Rarity and Ah were downright scared, so we came ta find ya." Rarity smiles, and she finishes the explanation, as she adds, "We looked simply everywhere for you, darling. When we finally found you, we dragged you in the nearest hospital."
"But Canterlot!" I interrupt, staring at the many eyes looking lovingly down to me. I force myself to calm down, and I wipe the sweat off my forehead with my other free hoof. "So...it's not a dream after all? It actually..." I don't want to say this word, but I am forced to. "Happened?"
Twilight sighs, and says, "It did, Rainbow. We...we left Canterlot, and Hearth's Warming Eve. I'm sure Princess Celestia won't mind if her faithful student leaves. It did pain us leaving our families and all....but..."
Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, AppleJack and Twilight all glance down to me lovingly, saying, in unison, their soothing voices filling my ears, once more, enforcing a beautiful sense of warmth inside my heart - the only emotion triggered by the delights and magic of friendship. They are smiling, though there is a tint of sadness in their smiles. "There is no price for friendship, Rainbow."
We all share a group hug, and I fall back, exhausted. "It didn't," I reply, as I fall back onto my bed. I look up to them in desperation, mixed with the horrified hurt sweetness of sorrow and agony at the death of somepony you love. Why is fate so cruel? What triggers the slapstick cruel humour of what ponies call "life"? My eyes are trembling with worry and fear. "But...does it ever come to you that you're in that awesome human world again?"
Twilight nods, and Pinkie Pie giggles, "Of course, silly! Twilight's gonna tell you about great big sacrifices again, so I just thought I'd say it first! Come on, silly filly! We need a welcoming party into the world of the bronies!"
Fluttershy adds, with a smile on her face, "Oh my, I nearly fainted when I saw you lying by that hill, Rainbow Dash. I...maybe I can see Andrew! Audrey! I mean, oh my...Buttershy. Or was it Butterscotch? No wait -- oh my...um...was it --"
Rarity sighs, and asks, "How was it going with your dad, Rainbow Dash, darling? I simply cannot imagine how happy he would be to hear his daughter is coming to visit him! Darling, how did it go?"
I take a deep breath, and I shake my head, not wanting to answer. But it seems they are all worried for me, so I spit it all out at once. "It wasn't as awesome as I thought! Treachery...anger....grief...the PAIN! AGONY!!!" I scream, trying to lower my voice down - in vain.
This is news to my friends, and they all gossip to each other, before crowding around me with wide curious eyes. Each wielding a different emotion, they all ask, in unison,"Why?"
I take another deep breath, and they must've thought me weird for that. I sigh, and tears start rapidly falling from my eyes - and I am not even ashamed, unlike the real me.
"Because....he's sleeping under the hill!"
