My Wondrous Life

by Kyo Wright

Rating: mature
Tags: Slice of Life, Human, Comedy, Romance
Length: 2772

Being a Felman who loves to stay indoors and watch the rain fall gets caught in said rain and gets plucked from his world and into Equestria.

Being a school boy has it's disadvantages, like walking home from school one night and saw an orb of a smooth milky white pelt onto you? Yeah, that sucks… It's a love/hate relationship with random magical objects.

But, when heading home with a goal in mind, you never expect a glowing white orb that can take you from your boring world and into the most interesting world that you'll ever get to know… Equis.

Armed with a messenger bag and his wits, he tries to survive his life of ambassador-hood.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2016-01-03 18:18:39 UTC

I "LOVE" my life (Chpt. 1)

"Ah... 2056... The perfect year of this world, no wars, no famine, no crime..." The teenage Felman said as he was walking back to his home after a long day of school.

Both of his hands resting behind his head, touching his shiny blue, shoulder length hair while sighing. "Any interesting news? Crime and the like?" He said as he gets his communicator and opens it, the built-in browser comes up instantly as it displays the news... Nothing changed.

He sags a little bit and sighs. "I guess that's good news since no one died today... But still, no excitement anymore." He then looks at his Phone's battery, it was still 99%. "Thank the science genius who figured out extremely long battery-life." He then shrugged and turns his phone on stand-by and puts it back in his messenger bag.

His emerald-green eyes wandered around the area and leans his back on a nearby tree. "Maybe if I witness a crime, I can finally put my fists to the test." He said as he wanted to get ready in case something like that happens.

He waited and waited... But nothing came to him nor to the people around him, he groans and punches a tree in irritation. "Goddammit!" He curses and something conks him on the head, he lets out a cry of pain and turns around and goes into his stance quickly. "Who the--!" He looks around and no-one was there, his eyes wander from side to side and even turns his head to look behind him... No one.

As his confusion grew, he spotted something on the floor next to where he was standing. "Huh?" It was an orb that was glowing white, not like a light-bulb. This felt too natural of a glow...

Curiouser and curiouser, he picked up the orb and stared at it. All he saw was a weird marking depicting a beard and a magic wand. "The hell kind of marking is--" He didn't finish his sentence as he continued to stare, he lifts it up into the air.

Lining his orb to the setting sun, it's intensity grew until it became blinding. "Agh!" He yells as the orb emits a sound of something building up. "Whoa, what the!!" He wanted to let go and run, but it was grasping onto him. "AH! SOMEONE! HELP ME!!" He shouts out, alerting some of the populace nearby.

Due to the time of peace, all the civilians were too scared to help a person in need. "PLEA--!" Before he could finish his sentence, he was engulfed into a bright light and disappeared, much to everyone's shock.

In Canterlot, Princess Celestia was finishing day court. "Yes, I understand your plea, my little pony." She smiles. "Extra funding for the orphanage sounds like a grand idea."

The pony in question smiled and bowed. "Thank you, Princess! We need the funding for extra play equipment for the children and clothing." She was very grateful to the large alicorn.

Celestia nods and smiles. "Of course, will that be all then?" She asks in which the mare nods and bows. "Yes, thank you again, your majesty!" Celestia giggled. "It's not a problem, if there is one however, let me or my sister know, okay?" She said in a motherly tone.

The mare nods and trots out excitedly, leaving Celestia to finish the day court, finally alone to her devices as she heads back to her private quarters. She smiles and pops her stiff joints and sighs in relief. "Much better." She says to herself before noticing a surge of magic somewhere. "!.. What in the world?" She says to herself before her eyes widen. "St-Starswirl? Is that really you, old friend?!"

The light shines around the area of a hill for a few seconds before retracting back into the orb, the teenager on the floor groans before getting hit in the head by the floating orb again, letting out a yelp of pain.

On the bright side it woke him up quicker and looks at the orb with pain-stricken tears in his eyes. "Listen here, asshole! I'm sick of you hitting me, got me!?" He shouted at the orb, knowing that it won't answer back to him, he sighs and rubs his poor head. "Thank Tria I don't have a concussion..." He said as he then took a look around. "Where am I?"

He got back onto his feet and dusts himself off, he sighs as he finishes. "Mom's gonna kill me..." He said to himself while looking around. "...Wait, this isn't my home..." He looks at the orb. "Was that some kind of Teleportation orb or something?" His mind grows curious as he took note of a village not far from here. "Interesting."

He picks up the orb and puts it in his bag, he then looks towards the town. "Best introduce myself, I guess." He walks onward down the hill and eventually steps foot into the town.

What happened next was enough to surprise him. "...Wh-.." He sputtered out as he saw horses, no... That doesn't sound right, ponies? Maybe... Look, the problem is: They're speaking to themselves! And they are doing normal everyday life as a human or Felman would!

He shook his head from the shock and started walking into the middle of the plaza, and instantly he felt like he shouldn't have done that, they were all staring at him with wide eyes, some with curiosity, some with absolute fear.

He puts his hands up and smiles sheepishly, hopefully to show he comes in peace. However, something different happened. "AHH! IT'S A MONSTER! RUUUUN!" A little filly said, all of them ran for it and high tailed it out of there, leaving the poor Felman alone with a new sheepish look. "Eh?" He then scratched the back of his head. "That didn't go so well."

"Come on, Kyo... Think, think..." He said, finally naming himself to introduce... To no one in particular. Kyo had an idea, he opened his bag and takes out his communicator. "My trusty friend, what news do you have for me?" He switches the button on and blinks at what was on the screen. "NO COVERAGE" it said.

Kyo sighed and shrugged. "Whatever..." He then bags his communicator, but upon doing so... A thought just came to him. "...Wait, ponies who can talk... Unicorns and Pegasi alike... No other human or Felman in the area. A cartoonish look around me, but it's all real... Where the hell am I? Am I... on another world?" He then sighs. "Crap."

His thoughts were cut short when he had to dodge a beam. "Whoa!" He quickly looked at the culprit responsible and saw a beautiful lavender unicorn with wings... Wait what?

"What are you?! What are your intentions here?!" She shouts at Kyo with a readied stance, her horn charging up.. Wait what?

He puts his hands up. "Whoa, whoa, wait, wait!" He shouts quickly, but as he did so, a beam hit him square in the chest. "Oof!" He lands on his back and groans.

That tears it... If he's not gonna communicate with words...

He gets up onto his feet and pants. "That's impossible, that should have knocked you clean out!" The unicorn with wings said.

Kyo gave no answer, instead, he took his bag off and drops it beside him and gets into a martial arts stance. His subconscious heavily suggesting that it's a suicidal idea for two reasons.

'**1.* You could get killed from this unicorn with her ... Magic.*'

'**2.* You could go to jail or get executed for attacking the citizens of a probably peaceful race, and this is all a misunderstanding.*'

But Kyo ignores silly little things like that, he will talk with his fists if communication fails-- Why did everything go to black?

Oh... He fell unconscious... Well then.

'Nice knowing ya, brain.' He said towards his mind, while his mind chants. 'I told ya so.' over and over again.

Gotta love my life...

Interesting Discoveries (Chpt. 1-2)

'Dark, dark and MORE dark, these equines know how to treat a man... Okay, I may not be a man, yet! But in the grand scheme of things, I suppose I should have kept my cool. But it's hard to when you get a goddamn magical beam of death shot at you!' He said in his mind like he was addressing a journal of some sorts. 'Hmm, now there's an idea.'

'... Sure is boring without someone to talk to, huh?' He sighs in his own mind, not knowing how many hours passed, if at all. He could hear some voices, the same one as before whom seemed to sound curious.

"Hmm, the creature is bipedal, feline ears, irises and fangs... An omnivore, may be dangerous." She said to no one in particular, she was or someone in the room with her was scribbling down notes. If he were to guess, they were examining him under anesthesia... Or whatever that beam was.

"Body is slim and slender but no signs of malnourishment... I-Interesting phallus length." She said in a giggle. 'WAIT WHAT?! I'M NAKED?!' So many alarm bells went off in his head.

'OBJECTION! OBJECTION! OBJECTION! I OBJECT! NO, NO, NO!

She continued. "No sheathe for the phallus, hmm... Oh! It's standing!" She waited a few seconds. "...Oh my... U-Uhm! let's cover that up for now." She sighs and carried on. "No fur on body except for his head, that must be his mane and a little on his crotch... Good thing Rainbow isn't here otherwise she'd think I'm doing something inappropriate to the poor creature."

'YOU ARE! PLEASE! LET ME BE!' He shouts in his head.

She had a happy tone. "No fur adds to his pale complexion, such lovely soft skin... I wonder if he's perfect for cuddling?" She once again giggles but then stops. "Wait, he's... Oh Celestia, he's waking up!"

He jolts awake and sits up, panting like he was in a nightmare. He looks around to see no one is near him. "Good... No one ain't touching me up." He said with a pout and then noticed he was indeed naked. "...I'mma kill her." He said under his breath and groans as he puts a hand on his forehead.

"And to what do I owe the pleasure, creature." A strange yet motherly and warm voice filled the dark room, Kyo puts away the hand from his forehead and looks, to see a majestic white unicorn with wings with a flowing rainbow mane and tail, he could also see a picture of a sun on her flank.

He stays silent as he eyed her cautiously, to which the Pegacorn smiled. "Do not worry, I will not harm you." She said softly to ease his tension, it was working for the long run. He looked deep in thought for a moment before answering "My name is Kain, ma'am..." He said, still cautious. He had no idea if it was the best idea to lie to someone.

She smiles. "Well Kain, it's a pleasure to meet you, I am Princess Celestia, and no doubt you have many questions about where you are and how you got here, correct?" She said softly, but he nodded to confirm her judgement. "That's right... But it also seems you have questions for me too."

Celestia blinks before smiling. "That is correct, young one. You're a perceptive one." She said trying to break the ice. He nods as he tried his best to not get on her bad side, he didn't want to act like a smart ass and get sent to a dungeon or the guillotines. "Thank you, your majesty... Uhm, if you like I can answer your questions first and we can go to mine." He said, much to Celestia's reaction.

She wasn't expecting that, normally an otherworldly creature would demand answers to their questions. But here this bipedal creature has enough patience to answer her questions first, she smiled and nodded. "If that is alright with you, first... Where did you come from?"

This time, he can be truthful since he wanted to go back. "I'm from a place called Earth, but they recently recalled it Terra since it's a planet that is slowly budding to alien life." He said with a smile.

"Terra, how interesting." She said with an acknowledging smile, she seemed pleased with that answer. "What type of creature are you?" He nods. "I'm what you call a Felman, A mixture between feline and human..." He then looked at her, she was showing a confused look on her face.

"Oh! Uhm, a human is a lot like me except they have different features than us like uhm... Ears, eyes... No tail." He said as he tried to explain it. "Hmm, okay then." She said, not exactly pleased with the answer, but she could sense he couldn't really explain it very well. "I never paid enough attention to Biology on humans, I'm afraid." He said sheepishly.

She shook her head and smiled. "It's fine, we'll work around that... As for another question, HOW did you get here?" She already knew the answer, but she wanted his side of the story and connect the dots that way.

He explained everything, him walking home from school and rested upon a tree, finding that orb and teleported him here.

"So, is there a way to go back, your majesty?" He said with hope in his voice, but her expression said otherwise. "...I'm sorry, my Felman... But I'm afraid that there is no way to get you back without Starswirl's notes and journals." She said sadly.

His expression was from glee to depression in a matter of seconds. "O-oh.." He looks down and feigned a smile. "Oh well, that's tough luck! Hehe!" He said scratching the back of his head. His laughter turns to sobs and tears forming down his cheek.

Celestia drapes her wing over him. "Now now, Kain... It's okay. We can certainly try our best to get you back, I hold no promises but... In the meanwhile, how about you stay with us? You can become one of us and live beside my ponies?" She said in her motherly tone, the need to comfort came natural to her.

He nodded softly. "Okay..." He closes his eyes and rubs them.

She smiled. "Do you want your questions answered?" He shook his head. "No, I got the answers I wanted from our talk..." She nodded and continued her sunny smile, eventually the smile grew on his face.

That afternoon after he got his clothes and bag back, he was in the library with Celestia, Twilight and her friends. They introduced themselves casually, eliminating the tension of the room when they inquisitively questioned him.

He proved to not be a threat and the encounter last time was only a misunderstanding.

That's when Twilight finally popped the question... Not that kind of question. "So, what does your kind do for fun?" She smiled, hoping she'd get her answer.

He just shrugged. "Video games, reading and learning..." He said half-assed as he wasn't really in the mood to answer any questions, this made her look at the ground dejectedly, this made him cringe. "W-well, I'm not exactly wrong, but the question is a little hard to answer properly, I'm not good at explaining things since I was a new addition to Terra, being an exchange student and what have you."

She lights up a bit and nodded. "Thank you... I hope we can do a Q&A when you're feeling up to it, I'm sure being stuck in a world without any knowledge to help you would hinder you a lot."

He nods. "That it does... Thanks for understanding, Twilight." She smiles. "No problem, Kain."

It was gonna be weird being called Kain for a while, it was also something he immediately regrets when he came to trusting Celestia... He kinda wished he told her the truth when he could.

'Too late for that now... I made this lie up, I'm gonna have to live with it.' He said in his head.

"... I hope you don't mind, Kain... I uhm... Did some examinations on you when you were sleeping." She said sheepishly.

He then blinks and deadpans her. "...I have a lot to say to you, little missy... Don't you ever talk about my 'phallus' again!" He said with a grin, shocking Twilight and the others in the room.

"Hey Twilight..." Spike said and then asked the infamous question. "What's a 'phallus'?"

... Utter genius.