“Applejack, I ask you: not only for my sanity, but for yours as well, please cover this grill and make something else.”

“Oh, will ya quit your bellyachin’, she’s not that immature.”

Rarity looked at her stone-faced. “I want you to look at me, remind yourself whom it is we’re talking about, and tell me that again.”

Applejack sighed. “Okay, ya’ve got a point, but I already spent all day groundin’ up the soy and wheat, and Twilight said these here Griffons really like this kinda food back home, and we wanna make’em feel welcome.”

Rarity glanced at the nearby picnic tables and took a look at the visiting ambassadors from Griffonstone, who were looking impatient and hungry. Sitting by them was Twilight, who appeared anxious to please her foreign guests as she wiped a bead of sweat from her brow while putting on a proud smile.

Applejack nudged Rarity. “Look, if ya just explain to Rainbow Dash that this is really important to Twilight–”

“What’s important?” Rainbow Dash blurted from behind.

Applejack and Rarity turned around, but not before Rarity frantically covered the grill before Dash got a good look at the food.

Dash tilted her head. “What’s on the grill?”

Rarity cleared her throat. “Oh, um, nothing, love. Applejack was making some hay bacon burgers, and of course, you’re on a diet, so you can’t have any.”

Rainbow Dash licked her lips. “Hey now, you said I was on a diet. Not me. C’mon, AJ, lemme have a look at’em.”

Rarity forced herself between the grill and Rainbow Dash. “Now, now, darling, we wouldn’t want to disturb the, uh, ah, grill-lord when she’s in the zone, now would we?”

Rainbow Dash quirked her eyebrow. “Do you mean grillmaster?”

“Yes, yes, whatever. The point is: you needn’t bother her.”

“Then what are you doing here?”

Rarity cleared her throat. “I was just, ah, well, consulting Applejack on... tapestry.”

“Eh?” Rainbow Dash and Applejack uttered simultaneously.

Rarity forced a grin. “Yes, of course. Tapestry! Apple Bloom was just talking to me the other day about wanting to put up fun and colorful tapestries on her wall. But stubborn old Applejack thinks they’re too, as she says, ‘hippy-looking.’ Silly, no?”

“Oh please, Rarity, I’d be shocked if Applejack could even spell tapestry, let alone be opposed to them.”

“Okay, first off, I oughta smack the both of ya for sayin’ I’m old, stubborn, and can’t spell.”

“Hey,” Dash replied, “No worries. I don’t even know what a tapestry is.”

“Second of all–” Applejack interjected. “That ain’t what we’re talkin’ about, and I think if Rarity has any respect for ya, she’ll tell ya what she’s worried about.”

Rainbow Dash, confused, looked to Rarity. “What are you talking about?”

Rarity was at a loss for words. Her face twitched as she struggled between keeping up the charade or succumbing to candor. Finally, she wiped sweat off her brow and sighed, ready to face the music.

“Well, ah Rainbow Dash, you see... what’s in this grill is actually–”

“Heeeeeeey, Dashie!”

And just like that, Pinkie Pie appeared with the others in a pink blur. A giant grin was on her face as she bounced a beach ball atop her head.

Rainbow Dash smiled. “Oh hey, Pinkie Pie. Whaddup?”

Pinkie looked into Dash’s eyes as the bouncing remained uninterrupted. “I was just talking to Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, and they were arguing about who could keep a beach ball bouncing longer, me or you, and Sweetie Belle was saying I could, but Scootaloo was saying you could, and Sweetie Belle said I could, but Scootaloo said you could, and–”

“I get your point, Pinkie. And you know what? Challenge accepted!” Rainbow Dash pointed into the direction of the arguing fillies off in the distance. “Scootaloo, fetch me a beach ball!”

Applejack put her hoof on Dash’s shoulder. “Um, Dash, Rarity was just about to tell ya somethin’, remember?”

Dash grimaced. “AJ, can’t it wait?”

“Oh, yes, Applejack,” Rarity chimed. “It most certainly can wait. Go on now, darling, go defeat Pinkie at bouncing.”

Dash saluted. “With gusto, ma’am. C’mon, Pinkie, Imma show you what I got!”

“But Dash-” before Applejack could finish, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie had scurried off to join Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo in their shenanigans.

Applejack looked to Rarity, who looked relieved, and shook her head. “You yellow coward.”

“Oh,” a soft voiced whispered nearby. “Are you talking to me, Applejack?”

Applejack signaled her friend to come over. “Fluttershy, I want ya to come look at what I’m grillin’.”

Fluttershy sauntered over to Rarity and Applejack with a confused look. Rarity gulped as Applejack lifted the cover, revealing big, plump, sumptuous sausage-shaped products grilling over a charcoaled flame.

Immediately, Fluttershy’s face turned a crimson red.

“...Are those really–”

“Oh, consarnit, they’re stinkin’ sausages, and they’re popular with the griffons. Twilight asked me to make’em.”

“Oh, um, well... I’m sure they don’t taste like–”

“How would you know?!” Applejack and Rarity replied in simultaneous disbelief.

Fluttershy squeaked and hid behind her mane. “I mean, I, uh, I, uh, well, you know, sometimes, when we’re young, we’re a little more bold, and–”

Applejack planted her hoof on Fluttershy’s mouth. “Save it, ya don’t need to spill anything–”

“At least not right now,” Rarity added.

Applejack rolled her eyes. “The point is: yeah, they look like what we all know they look like, and Rarity here is worried that Dash is gonna make a big scene and embarrass everypony.”

Fluttershy nodded. “That’s a legitimate concern.”

“Exactly,” Rarity interposed with a cheerful cadence. “So why don’t we just toss out these pesky sausages, and give the griffons something a little more, oh, politically correct? Like a salad, or some garbanzo bean casserole? I know the perfect recipe that would knock their proverbial socks off–”

“Okay, the fact that ya called certain food more ‘politically correct’ makes me wanna serve these sausages right now just to spite ya.”

“Applejack,” a harsh whisper came. The three turned to see Twilight’s agitated visage. “Are the sausages done yet? The griffons don’t like to wait.”

As Fluttershy and Rarity stepped back, Rarity appearing ill from her anxiousness, Applejack rubbed the back of her neck as she struggled for words.

“Uh, Twi, Rarity was havin’ some concerns about the food, and, uh–”

“Uh-huh–” Twilight interjected, giving a curt nod. “That’s great. Can that wait until after the ambassadors have had their food and are not threatening to tell the other foreign leaders that Ponyville is bad at hosting diplomats?”

“Well, the thing about that is–”

“Applejack,” Twilight cut her friend off as she placed her hooves on her shoulders and connected their foreheads. “I’m sure that whatever it is Rarity is worried about can be settled at another time. I am telling you, as a friend, that I need the sausages on the plates of those griffons now. Please, I need this.”

Applejack read the stress and need in her friend’s eyes and sighed. “Yeah, yeah, it can wait.” Removing herself from Twilight’s grip, Applejack grabbed her fork and placed all the sausages on a serving plate.

“Twi,” she said, signalling her gaze to the ground where her cowbell was placed. “Would ya like to do the honors?”

Twilight’s face brightened as she bent down to grab the bell. Applejack gave a warm smile before turning to see Rarity’s dour gaze.

“You’ve doomed us all,” her mouth worded.

The cowbell rang out for all at the picnic to hear. “Fillies and gentlecolts,” Twilight bellowed with regal vigor. “On behalf of Ponyville and Equestria at large, is my pleasure to announce that lunch is served!”

Excited rumbles came from the crowd as everypony found their seat at one of the picnic tables. Rarity solemnly shook her head as she trotted to her seat with Fluttershy.

“We’re like prisoners approaching the gallows,” Rarity bemoaned to Fluttershy.

“Well, perhaps if you lifted your head and put on a brave face, it wouldn’t be that way,” Fluttershy whispered.

Rarity cast a sullen glance at her friend as they took their seats, with Fluttershy giving a shrug in response.

“Listen, maybe it won’t be so bad. She’ll have a laugh and that will be the end of it.”

“Oh, Fluttershy,” Rarity said as she patted her shoulder. “You sweet summer child.”

Rainbow Dash soon joined the two as she grunted and took a seat next to Rarity. “Well, Pinkie Pie may have won that battle, but she’s gonna lose the war.”

“Aw, c’mon, Rainbow Dash–” Apple Bloom chimed as she, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo took their seats across from the three adults. “Just admit that Pinkie Pie is better than ya at bouncin’ balls.”

“Admit nothin’!” Scootaloo replied. “Rainbow Dash never backs down. She’ll fight another day, and when that day comes, she’ll win. Right, Rainbow Dash?”

“You got it, kid.” Rainbow Dash said as she bumped hooves with Scootaloo.

Rarity shuddered as she buried her head in her hooves. “Oh Luna,” she murmured to herself. “Not in front of the children. Won’t someone please think of the children?”

“What’s wrong, Rarity?” Sweetie Belle voiced with concern.

“Oh, I’ll tell you, Sweetie Belle,” Rainbow Dash smugly replied, tousling Rarity’s mane. “Your sister had one glass too many of sangria, and now she has a tummy-ache.”

Rarity raised her head and grimaced at Dash. “Do I smell like sangria to you?”

Dash sniffed the air. “Ah, I’m sorry, I’m a goof. You smell like a fresh mojito. Good stuff.”

“Okay, I had one before we got here, but that’s irrelevant to the situation–”

“Grub’s on,” Big Macintosh cut off Rarity has he came by with a serving plate. As he placed a sausage on each of the plates, Rarity sunk lower and lower into her seat, not wanting to see the inevitable reaction.

Various thanks were given Big Mac before he responded “Eyup,” and moved on to the next table. As he left, Rarity heard the snickering begin.

“It has begun,” she whispered to no one. “She am become death, destroyer of this picnic.”

Eventually, Rarity did raise her head to see that the snickering was not actually from Rainbow Dash, but the fillies sitting across.

Rarity, relieved, steeled herself and went into lecturer mode. “Girls,” she chastised. “I realize they look a little silly, but I assure you, it’s a mere coincidence.”

“Um, why don’t you tell her that?” Scootaloo asked as she pointed across the table. Rarity turned and, to her horror, saw Dash with a giant grin on her face as she lovingly stroked her sausage.

Rarity’s hooves swiftly covered Dash’s plate as Rarity attempted to conceal any erotic simulacrum.

“Whoa, hey now, Rarity, don’t be too quick or he’ll go off early.”

“I. Loathe. You,” Rarity seethed through gritted teeth.

“Seriously thugh,” Dash giggled. “What are these?”

“They’re sausages, damnit, they’re a dish popular in Griffonstone.”

“I bet these go well with eclairs. Big, thick, succulent eclairs oozing with that sweet, sweet goo.”

“Are we talking about eclairs?” Sweetie Belle chimed. “I love eclairs!”

“And you shall never have one again!” Rarity snapped, pointing her hoof into her sister’s face.

Sweetie Belle sunk in her chair while Scootaloo and Apple Bloom looked at her in confusion.

“Uh,” Apple Bloom whispered. “Should we leave?”

“Yes. Absolutely you should.”

“Um, Rarity,” Fluttershy whispered. “I think I’ll join them as well. It looks like you have some explaining to do to Rainbow Dash.”

The fillies and Fluttershy took their plates of sausage and awkwardly shuffled off to find another table. All the while, Rainbow Dash snickered.

“Go find a nice quiet spot where you won’t be bothered. Like behind the bushes. Or under the bleachers, that’s where I had my first–OW!”

Rainbow Dash felt a sharp whack on the back of her head. As she rubbed her wound, Rarity grabbed Dash’s face and brought their foreheads together.

“Listen to me, you perverse, shortsighted degenerate. I know everything’s a big joke to you, but we have ambassadors from a foreign land here that Twilight is trying to entertain. We can do this the easy way or the hard way, but either way, you’re going to cut the shenanigans and just eat your damn sausage.”

Rainbow Dash had an evil grin bestowed upon her face. “I prefer the hard way.”

Rarity felt a warm, meaty train invade her mouth as Dash began shoving in her sausage. Immediately, she began to resist, slapping Dash and verbally expressing her disdain. Rainbow Dash did not relent.

“Don’t fight it,” she sneered with a smug grin. “Just let it happen.”

Rarity grunted, not caring about who was around them, and outright decked Dash in the face, forcing her to land sideways on the picnic table. Audible gasps emanated from all around as Dash yelled in pain.

“Rarity, what the hay was that abou–” Before Dash could finish her thought, her eyes jolted open as Rarity straddled her right on the picnic table. Suddenly, Dash was quite aware of the eyes on them.

“Psst, Rarity,” Dash whispered. “Not here.”

Now it was Rarity’s turn to don an evil grin. Immediately, she grabbed a sausage and placed it between her legs before shoving it into Rainbow Dash’s mouth, and then taking it back out, and then shoving it back in.

In. And out.

In. And out.

In. And out.

Rarity licked her lips. She had her now. “You like that, don’t you,” she mocked.

But Dash was not one to give up without a fight. Using her wings, she grabbed Rarity’s ass and reversed her hold. Now Dash was pinned on top of Rarity.

Looking around, Dash grabbed the nearest item she could find, which just so happened to be a mayonnaise dispenser. In a flash, she started squirting globs of white, pungent goo on her friend, just absolutely drenching the girl in this stuff.

Rarity screamed in terror, no doubt due to the utter mess.

“Oh yeah,” Dash proclaimed. “Don’t you just hate it when they get it in your mane? It’s just the worst.”

Rarity was pissed. She began punching Dash’s ass.

Not spanking. Punching.

However, unlike the last punch to the face, which caught Dash off guard, this barrage of hits to her ass was just giving her more intense feelings. She could feel a little tickle down there, and she had a hunch Rarity was getting just a little bit off herself.

But there was no time for that now. She had a food fight to win.

But in her distraction, Dash had let Rarity wipe away the blinding white condiment from her eyes, and now she too was looking for weaponry.

Suddenly, a giant grin came to Rarity’s face as her horn began to glow. Dash’s eyes shot open as her tail involuntarily lifted. It meant only one thing.

Dash went on the defensive, immediately clenching her asshole like her life depended on it. But it was to no avail, as she felt a tingling sensation as her anal cavity widened more than it had any right too. Dash clenched her teeth as she looked down, seeing Rarity’s horn glow twice as bright, and her gaze grow twice as intense.

Rarity smiled, murmuring “I’ve gotten real good at this.”

All Dash could is let her lip quiver; she was paralyzed at this point. Her wide-open asshoole began to feel the uncanny texture of ketchup coating it up.

Or maybe it was mustard, she wasn’t able to tell at this point.

And then... a cucumber began making little pokes at her butt. This was it.

Dash involuntarily moaned as she looked down to Rarity with desperate eyes. “Ugh, why are you doing this? I just wanted give a fake hoof-job to something that looked like a dick.”

“I know,” Rarity calmly replied. The cucumber stopped poking.

“Now pay for it.”

Straight in it went. Rainbow Dash’s girlish squeal could be heard for miles.

Rainbow Dash felt full. Fuller than at any point in her life. The cucumber found a snug place in her gaping, stretched-out ass. Like it or not, she was wetter than Rainbow Falls.

And at that moment, she found peace. She looked down to Rarity, who was panting wildly, and saw her for the unrelenting sexual animal that she truly was.

It was incredibly hot.

Rainbow Dash descended onto Rarity. Their chests touched and their legs began to intertwine as Dash looked for mound-to-mound contact. All the while, she was licking Rarity’s face for stray mayonnaise.

Well, that was the reason she said to herself. The ulterior motive was just to lick Rarity’s face.

As that action went on, the cucumber began to slide in and out of Dash’s ass. Dash moaned with each successive thrust as she began grinding harder and harder against Rarity’s marehood. Rarity nipped at Rainbow Dash’s neck while Dash moaned harder and louder, gradually losing breath.

Both mares felt each others’ heartbeats and fluids come into tandem as they found a rhythm, and what was originally two school-fillies in a food fight had now devolved into two filthy animals using food to fuck. Life is strange like that.

“You close?” Dash mumbled into Rarity’s ear as she continued her grinding.

Rather than respond with words, Rarity simply moaned a positive response and weakly nodded her head.

Dash grinned. “I know how to cap this off.”

Rarity was too much in a state of flurry to question her partner, and she closed her eyes and let her head fall back. The cucumber was now held in Dash’s ass by Dash herself as Rarity loosened up on her grip spell.

As she opened her eyes, she was greeted by the sight of Dash positioning each of their marehoods to both ends of a big, honking sausage.

Of course, Rarity thought. What better way to end all these whacky shenanigans than with the item that started it all? It was poetry.

Beautiful, filthy poetry.

The two mares moaned together as they let their respective ends of the sausage penetrate them.

“Oh oh oh Rarity,” Dash pleaded. “Put yer grip back on the cucumber, put it in deep!”

Rarity giggled, giving a faint salute. “With gusto.”

Dash squealed again as the cucumber resumed its assault into the caverns of Dash’s cavity. The two reached their boiling point as their slick, juicy mounds clashed with the warm, coarse lump of non-animal product.

Eventually, all good things must come to an end, and the two came simultaneously, with both Rarity and Dash, all gassed out, giving weak moans to each other in unison before Dash fell on top of Rarity.

Using the last of her strength, Rarity removed the sausage and cucumber from their sticky, gaping orifices. Dash snuggled her face into Rarity’s mane, breathing in the remnants of mayonnaise. That, combined with the smell of lovely love stank and ass cucumber, made for an utterly intoxicating aroma.

“Was it good for you too?” Dash whispered, to which Rarity merely giggled.

Rarity signaled Dash to sit up, which she begrudgingly did. The two, still in their filthy daze, looked around to see the stunned silence of the picnic crowd. Everyone–their friends, the griffons, Spike, the residents of Ponyville–stood slack-jawed at the display before them.

The two mares giggled, with Rarity wiping a bead sweat off her brow and shuffling her legs to feel the last remnants of cum slick her thighs. Eventually, she met Applejack’s gaze nearby, to which she gave a sly grin.

“And that, Applejack, is why we shouldn’t have served sausage.”

Applejack nodded. “So it seems, Rare. So it seems.”

Author's Note

This is probably the only story of this kind you will ever see from me. Though, as my followers will tell you, I'm terrible at promises.

If you like this style of writing, but would prefer a little less sexual shenanigans, I highly recommend my RariDash anthology Life, With Style. Check that out if you're curious to see Rarity and Rainbow Dash's other misadventures.